{"id":11880,"date":"2012-11-23T22:19:45","date_gmt":"2012-11-24T06:19:45","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/?p=11880"},"modified":"2015-06-13T11:08:09","modified_gmt":"2015-06-13T19:08:09","slug":"how-to-stay-positive-when-a-relationship-ends","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/how-to-stay-positive-when-a-relationship-ends\/","title":{"rendered":"How To Stay Positive When a Relationship Ends"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>

<\/a><\/p>\n

Break-ups are never fun.\u00a0 It is easy to find ourselves in a funk.<\/p>\n

If we\u2019re not careful we can fall into a black hole of negativity and end up throwing\u00a0 a pity party that goes on for days, weeks, maybe even longer.<\/p>\n

To combat this, we need to stay positive about our life and what the future holds.<\/p>\n

The following 5 steps can help you let the light of positivity shine through your darkest days.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

1.<\/strong> Quit Taking It Personally<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

So, the relationship didn\u2019t work out.\u00a0 It doesn\u2019t matter the reason.<\/p>\n

The point is that it is now over and done with.\u00a0 You have to put down that 2×4 you\u2019re beating yourself over the head with.<\/strong>\u00a0 There is nothing fundamentally wrong with you that makes you unlovable.\u00a0 You are a perfectly imperfect human.<\/p>\n

People do things because of what is going on inside of them.\u00a0 That old saying \u201cit\u2019s not you, it\u2019s me\u201d is actually true.\u00a0 Even if your actions contributed to the break-up in some way, it was your ex\u2019s internal reaction to those events that led to the good-bye.<\/p>\n

You are not a bad person, just not the right person for this relationship.\u00a0 There is somebody out there you are perfect for.<\/p>\n

If you have to, tape Q-tips all over the house to remind yourself to q<\/strong>uit t<\/strong>aking i<\/strong>t p<\/strong>ersonally.<\/p>\n

2.<\/strong> Act As If<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Act as if <\/strong>\u00a0your life is nothing but positive.\u00a0 Kind of like \u201cfaking it until you make it \u201c.<\/p>\n

When you are feeling down, maybe throwing yourself a little pity party, ask yourself what would you be doing right now if you weren\u2019t feeling down in the dumps \u2013 and then do it<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

If you used to relish girls night outs when you had a free evening –\u00a0 plan one.\u00a0 If you used to like to spend time alone painting \u2013 break out those paints.<\/p>\n

Act as if<\/strong> you are happy, loved, fulfilled and soon you will be.\u00a0 Our reality is drawn by our thoughts.\u00a0 Both drawn as in drawing a picture and drawn as in being pulled in.\u00a0 You have that power<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

3.<\/strong> Forgive, Pray, and Say Thanks<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Anger, resentment, frustration.\u00a0 These are the emotions that fuel a negative outlook.<\/p>\n

These feelings will eat you alive.\u00a0 You need to release them.\u00a0 In order to regain your positive attitude and save yourself, you need to forgive your ex and yourself for the end of the relationship.<\/p>\n

I have found that prayer can do wonders for your attitude.\u00a0 Pray for your ex.\u00a0 Pray for their happiness and that they find peace.<\/p>\n

And then do the same for yourself.\u00a0 Thank the universe for all you have.<\/p>\n

Practice gratitude.\u00a0 Notice all the amazing things in your life; big and small.\u00a0 Make a list.\u00a0 Play a game with yourself.\u00a0 Maybe today I am going to notice all the things I am grateful for that start with the letter A, etc.<\/p>\n

Find aspects of the relationship that you can be thankful for.\u00a0 I\u2019m sure there were life lessons<\/strong> that you learned, be happy you learned them.<\/p>\n

Look at the relationship and your ex as a stepping stone on the your way to your best self<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

4.<\/strong> Let Go<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

There are things in this world that you cannot change.\u00a0 That\u2019s just the way it is.<\/p>\n

You cannot make it stop raining, but you can look for the rainbow.\u00a0 You cannot will the sun to rise, but you can enjoy the silence in the darkness right before the sun breaks through.\u00a0 You cannot make someone want to be with you, but you can feel positive that now you are free to find out more about yourself and what you want.<\/p>\n

You can only control your<\/strong> actions, your<\/strong> reactions, and your<\/strong> feelings.<\/p>\n

When something is getting you down, stressed, anxious, or worried; ask yourself \u201cwhat is under my control here?\u201d\u00a0 Probably not much.\u00a0 But what you can control is how you choose to let it affect you.<\/p>\n

Let go<\/strong> of the rest.\u00a0 Give it to the universe to work out.\u00a0 It will work out exactly as it is supposed to as long as you don\u2019t get in the way by trying to force the resolution you think is best.<\/p>\n

5.<\/strong> Concentrate On What You Can Change \u2013 YOU!<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

This is your time.\u00a0 Celebrate it<\/strong>.\u00a0 You are free to do whatever you want to become the person you are drawn to be.<\/p>\n

If you want to be the best mom ever \u2013 concentrate on that.<\/p>\n

If you want to get in better health, come up with a plan.<\/p>\n

If you want to create a deeper connection to your spiritual side, learn meditation or go on a retreat.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Final Thought<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Your future is waiting for you.\u00a0 Open the curtains in your\u00a0 mind and let the light of positivity shine in.<\/p>\n

All it takes is one little ray of positive attitude and before you know it, it will soon illuminate your whole life.<\/p>\n

You have complete control over how your future plays out.\u00a0 I know it sounds corny, but today really<\/em> is the first day of the rest of your life.<\/p>\n

Live where your feet are \u2013 the here and now \u2013 and walk into your future.\u00a0 It\u2019s wide open.<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

About the Author:<\/strong>\u00a0 Nicole is a Mediator, Conflict Resolution Coach, and founder of <\/em>SerenityAfterDivorce.com<\/em><\/a> where she aims to bring peace to divorced families.\u00a0 To find out the biggest mistakes women make after a divorce, <\/em>grab her free special report<\/em><\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Break-ups are never fun. It is easy to find ourselves in a funk.<\/p>\n

If we\u2019re not careful we can fall into a black hole of negativity and end up throwing a pity party that goes on for days, weeks, maybe even longer.<\/p>\n

To combat this, we need to stay positive about our life and what the future holds.<\/p>\n

The following 5 steps can help you let the light of positivity shine through your darkest days. Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12163,"featured_media":11931,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0},"categories":[32,58,6],"tags":[81,387,4651,4629],"yoast_head":"\nHow To Stay Positive When a Relationship Ends<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"So, the relationship didn\u2019t work out. It doesn\u2019t matter the reason. The point is that it is now over and done with. You have to put down that 2x4 you\u2019re beating yourself over the head with. There is nothing fundamentally wrong with you that makes you unlovable. 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