{"id":11655,"date":"2012-11-10T21:59:13","date_gmt":"2012-11-11T05:59:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/?p=11655"},"modified":"2013-09-20T14:11:21","modified_gmt":"2013-09-20T22:11:21","slug":"every-failure-makes-me-happier","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/every-failure-makes-me-happier\/","title":{"rendered":"Every Failure Makes Me Happier"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Here’s something you don’t hear every day, right?\u00a0 Which is why you’re probably wondering if I’m for real, or just saying this to get your attention. Actually, it\u2019s a little of both.<\/p>\n

You know just as well as I do that failure is nothing to be happy about, especially the minute it happens. Even when it\u2019s something seemingly unimportant like your ice cream falling to the ground, it still doesn’t make you happy.\u00a0 And what about the biggies like losing your job or ending a long-term relationship.<\/p>\n

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So the first phase of every failure experience is sadness, grief or some other similarly negative emotion.\u00a0 And this is just how our brain works. We can’t stop these initial feelings associated with failure. They will take place no matter what we do or how well prepared we are.<\/p>\n

And this is actually where my strategy to being happy with failure has its first step. And please bear with me on this, I didn’t say that this post would provide a magic-pill solution.<\/p>\n

This initial moment of emotion is where you have to acknowledge what happened. And you need to do this regardless of the area of your life in which the failure occurred. It doesn’t matter if it’s a relationship, a failed business, sports, or anything else. You have to start by acknowledging what happened.<\/p>\n

Now get ready because I have a piece of advice that you certainly don’t hear every day\u2026<\/p>\n

After acknowledging the failure, you need to understand that it IS your fault. Yes, it’s not your boss’s or your spouse’s, or anyone else’s. You are the only one to blame.\u00a0 (Personally I don\u2019t buy into the excuses of \u201cit\u2019s not your fault\u201d or \u201cyou couldn\u2019t do anything about it.\u201d\u00a0 This attitude will get you nowhere.)<\/p>\n

Taking the blame is a good idea because it gives you control.\u00a0 Control of the situation. Control is probably one of your biggest assets. It’s your ability to make things happen (to change things) by your actions.\u00a0 If you don’t believe me simply look at it from the opposite point of view. If you are not to blame, and you had no control over what happened, then it can surely happen to you again because you can\u2019t do anything about it. Does this approach sound remotely attractive to you?<\/p>\n

So, since now you know that you’re in control, here’s the next step.<\/p>\n

Realize that you’re probably going to go through a myriad of emotions similar to those that occur when you experience a breakup.\u00a0 Essentially, the feelings we experience after a breakup are very similar to what happens with any kind of failure.\u00a0 To some degree we can find ourselves in: shock, denial, isolation, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance.<\/em><\/p>\n

From my experience, the fact that I took the blame, then regained control, enabled me to get through all of the phases much quicker.<\/p>\n

The topic of failure in general is a very big niche for many motivational speakers and authors. People make their whole careers out of teaching others how to deal with failure. There are various techniques, tricks, and approaches.<\/p>\n

In the end, mine is this and it\u2019s pretty simple:<\/p>\n