{"id":11357,"date":"2012-09-04T21:42:23","date_gmt":"2012-09-05T05:42:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/?p=11357"},"modified":"2013-09-20T08:21:57","modified_gmt":"2013-09-20T16:21:57","slug":"why-you-should-ask-for-help-more-often-and-how-to-do-just-that","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/why-you-should-ask-for-help-more-often-and-how-to-do-just-that\/","title":{"rendered":"Why You Should Ask for Help More Often (and How to Do Just That)"},"content":{"rendered":"
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How often do you ask for help?<\/p>\n

Many people \u2013 especially high-achievers \u2013 worry that asking for help is a sign of weakness. They think that they should be able to do everything alone … and keep trying to squeeze just a little bit more productivity into their day in order to manage that.<\/p>\n

Some people also have a tendency to think that if you want something done properly, you have to do it yourself.<\/p>\n

Both of these attitudes are a mistake.<\/strong> There\u2019s nothing wrong with asking for help \u2013 in fact, people who truly reach their full potential are those who are able to delegate and to rely on others. And even if someone else doesn\u2019t perform a particular task in exactly the way you would, you might find that their method is perfectly OK too.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

During a busy week or month, asking for extra help means you can focus on doing the things that you<\/em> do best.<\/strong> After all, what\u2019s more important: that you complete that big report, or that you file those papers piling up in the office? There\u2019s a good chance that pretty much anyone could deal wit the papers \u2013 but you might be the only person who can finish the report.<\/p>\n

Whether you need extra help at work, from colleagues or subordinates, or you need a hand around the house, from your partner or kids, here\u2019s how to go about asking:<\/p>\n

#1: Choose Your Moment Wisely<\/h2>\n

You don\u2019t need to put off asking for help until the \u201cperfect\u201d time … but equally, try to avoid making a request at what\u2019s clearly a bad moment.<\/strong><\/p>\n

If your partner has just got home after a bad day, or if your teen is having a strop, there\u2019s no point in getting into an argument about whose turn it is to take out the trash.<\/p>\n

Equally, if you\u2019ve got a colleague who\u2019s been dealing with a difficult client, it may not be the moment to ask if she\u2019d mind fielding your phone calls so you can get some focused work done during the afternoon.<\/p>\n

By asking for help from someone who\u2019s in a good mood, you increase the chances of getting a happy \u201cyes\u201d \u2013 rather than a grudging \u201cOK\u201d or even a flat-out \u201cno\u201d.<\/p>\n

#2: Be Clear About What You Need<\/h2>\n

If you make vague, blanket statements like \u201cI wish I had some help round the house\u201d<\/em> then you\u2019re not doing yourself or the people around you any favors. <\/strong><\/p>\n

They may attempt to help \u2013 but their priorities might be different from yours. They may not even realize that you\u2019re actually asking for help, rather than just venting your feelings.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s much better to make a specific request:<\/p>\n

Would you help by doing the washing-up today?<\/em><\/p>\n

Could you sort out the laundry this afternoon?<\/em><\/p>\n

This includes being clear about timeframes. If you want a particular task done by 5pm, let your colleague know \u2013 otherwise, they might think it\u2019s perfectly fine for that task to wait until next week. If you want your child to tidy up their room before dinner, make that clear.<\/p>\n

#3: Provide Resources That They\u2019ll Need<\/h2>\n

Obviously, some tasks are straightforward, and your colleague or family member will already know how to carry them out and where to find any necessary equipment. Other tasks, though, might be new to them.<\/p>\n

If there are specific instructions, make sure they have those. If they\u2019ll need to use tools or equipment, make sure they know where to find them.<\/strong> It\u2019s not fair to someone else to dump a task on them and leave them struggling to know how to complete it.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s a good idea to get into the habit of delegating, by setting aside time to train other people to take on some of your regular tasks. This may add to your workload briefly, so try to look ahead and delegate before<\/em> you reach crisis point with your work.<\/p>\n

#4: Thank Them for Helping<\/h2>\n

If you want someone to feel positive about helping you \u2013 and to do so again in the future \u2013 then make sure you remember to thank them.<\/strong> Even if the task wasn\u2019t performed quite as well as you hoped, say \u201cthanks\u201d instead of finding fault.<\/p>\n

For many people, a genuine \u201cthank you\u201d is a more motivating reward than money or another bribe. If someone\u2019s done a big favor for you, a hand-written note can be a lovely way to say thanks (even if you\u2019ll be thanking them face-to-face too).<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Do you find it tough to ask for help? What\u2019s stopping you? Share your thoughts and tips with us in the comments below.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0Photo credit<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Both of these attitudes are a mistake. There\u2019s nothing wrong with asking for help \u2013 in fact, people who truly reach their full potential are those who are able to delegate and to rely on others. And even if someone else doesn\u2019t perform a particular task in exactly the way you would, you might find that their method is perfectly OK too. Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12163,"featured_media":11359,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0},"categories":[6],"tags":[2074,871,2053,66,4651,4629],"yoast_head":"\nWhy You Should Ask for Help More Often (and How to Do Just That) - Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"How often do you ask for help? 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