{"id":11155,"date":"2012-08-12T22:32:59","date_gmt":"2012-08-13T06:32:59","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/?p=11155"},"modified":"2013-09-20T08:07:15","modified_gmt":"2013-09-20T16:07:15","slug":"5-truths-that-are-lies","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/5-truths-that-are-lies\/","title":{"rendered":"5 \u201cTruths\u201d You Might Tell Yourself That Are Actually Lies"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>

<\/a><\/p>\n

You\u2019re pretty happy these days. You\u2019ve got interesting projects, people you love, your health. You know what you\u2019re doing because you\u2019ve studied the pros and learned from your mistakes. You\u2019ve built a good life for yourself.<\/p>\n

Congratulations! All that work is paying off.<\/p>\n

But lately you don\u2019t seem to be getting as far, or getting there as fast as you\u2019d like.<\/strong> Some days it feels like you\u2019re wading through mud, and you\u2019re not sure why. You\u2019re taking all the right steps, and working hard and smart, so why the slowdown?<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Even if life is good there are challenges, from the annoying to the earth shattering. You\u2019re cruising along, doing your best, when you hit a rough patch. It happens to all of us.<\/p>\n

So you give yourself a pep talk. <\/strong>You think of all you\u2019ve learned through the years, and you remind yourself of what\u2019s true about life and the world. You\u2019re trying to make yourself feel better, so you can get back on your feet, ready to rock.<\/p>\n

This is a good thing! Friends or family aren\u2019t always right there, ready to get you through difficult times. Sometimes you need to fend for yourself, which is a critical life skill. Bravo.<\/p>\n

But I\u2019m about to get a little tough love on you, only because I\u2019ve been guilty of exactly what we\u2019re talking about.<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s the deal: this pep talk becomes a problem when what you\u2019re telling yourself \u2013 those \u201ctruths\u201d about the world \u2013 aren\u2019t true at all.<\/strong> They\u2019re lies. White ones<\/a>, yes, but they\u2019re holding you back from going farther and faster.<\/p>\n

See if any of these sound familiar:<\/p>\n

1. \u201cIt\u2019ll all work out for the best.\u201d<\/h1>\n

Why it\u2019s a lie: It might not work out for the best at all. <\/strong>That\u2019s a fact \u2013 you have no way of knowing. This is one of those \u201coh well\u201d statements that make you feel better because it takes the issue out of your hands. But if you\u2019ve done all that work to become a better person and create a good life, why let fate dictate the outcome of the situation you\u2019re facing?<\/p>\n

The real truth: Take charge.<\/strong> If you want something, don\u2019t just let whatever happens happen as if you\u2019re a drifting leaf in a stream \u2013 go after it. There are many aspects of a situation you can\u2019t control, but you should take charge of the ones you can, as in your actions and attitude. Acknowledge uncertainty, but tilt the odds in your favor by getting more information, working harder, or reaching out to someone who could help.<\/p>\n

2. \u201cIt\u2019s okay that I don\u2019t make much money \u2013 at least I\u2019m paying my bills.\u201d<\/h1>\n

Why it\u2019s a lie: This isn\u2019t good economic sense, this is settling for less than you deserve. <\/strong>It\u2019s wonderful that you\u2019re not going into debt every month. That\u2019s a huge first step. But what this statement implies is that your current situation is good enough, that you shouldn\u2019t strive for more, when all it really means is you\u2019re thinking small.<\/p>\n

The real truth: Think big.<\/strong> Money means freedom<\/a> and opportunity, so banish \u201cscraping by\u201d and \u201cstarving artist\u201d from your vocabulary. First off, you need an emergency fund to cover unexpected expenses or job loss. Then realize that more money = freedom. Freedom for the big leaps like starting a business, traveling for six months, or taking a work sabbatical and writing that novel. More money than that means you can help others in need or fund a worthy project. Thinking big means not only taking care of yourself and paying your way, but also giving back in a big way \u2013 making the world a better place.<\/p>\n

3. \u201cI have to (something you don\u2019t need to do) because if I don\u2019t it\u2019ll hurt so-and-so\u2019s feelings.\u201d<\/h1>\n

Why it\u2019s a lie: No, you don\u2019t.<\/strong> The key word is \u201cneed.\u201d It\u2019s one thing to follow through on a commitment or something that truly needs doing, whether you like it or not. That\u2019s non-negotiable. But if you\u2019re saying yes out of social obligation, you\u2019re wasting your time and theirs. You\u2019ll feel resentful for having to do the thing, and might give them less than what they need because you don\u2019t have the enthusiasm for it.<\/p>\n

The real truth: You have to learn to say no with kindness and respect.<\/strong> A polite, \u201cI\u2019m sorry, but I can\u2019t\u201d works wonders, no explanation needed.<\/a> Shoot for doing what you want \u2013 what you\u2019re interested in or passionate about \u2013 80{54c12dad2cc2b53ae830e39915b1a3e70288dbcbbeb8bbf8395437c5dc3c512c} of the time. (The other 20{54c12dad2cc2b53ae830e39915b1a3e70288dbcbbeb8bbf8395437c5dc3c512c} should be obligations that have to be met.) This might sound selfish, but it\u2019s not. If you\u2019re only pursuing those tasks and projects that you truly care about, you\u2019re giving the world your best. And the world needs your best.<\/p>\n

4. \u201cAs long as I\u2019m not hurting anyone else, who cares if I (mindless or self-destructive behavior)?\u201d<\/h1>\n

Why it\u2019s a lie: Even the private stuff matters.<\/strong> I\u2019m a fan of the occasional all-night wallow, mindless summer blockbuster, and potato chips for dinner, but if you\u2019re consistently not taking care of yourself emotionally, mentally, or physically, there\u2019s a problem. You\u2019re responsible enough to not hurt others, but by letting your bad behavior slide, you\u2019re devaluing yourself. That serves no one.<\/p>\n

The real truth: Bad behavior on a small scale can blossom into big problems.<\/strong> Don\u2019t let it get a foothold. If you\u2019re not disciplined (most of the time \u2013 you\u2019re not a robot) behind closed doors, that lowered standard will creep into the open. It\u2019s the oxygen mask on the plane analogy: you have to put yours on first before you can help others. You want to help others \u2013 it\u2019s human nature \u2013 and discipline with the little stuff boosts self-esteem and keeps you healthy and useful.<\/p>\n

5. \u201cI\u2019ll get around to (awesome idea) when I have more time.\u201d<\/h1>\n

Why it\u2019s a lie: That time won\u2019t come unless you schedule it.<\/strong> You never know what the future holds; something could happen to derail your plan. Illness, accident, or job loss can and do happen. And when you might have the time (in retirement, for example) you may not have the interest or energy for that awesome idea you had way back when.<\/p>\n

The real truth: Life is short. Don\u2019t wait. <\/strong>There\u2019s no reason to put off awesome ideas. I know how busy you are, but it doesn\u2019t mean you can\u2019t schedule in pockets of time every week to make that idea happen. The bonus of regular action toward a goal is not only that the goal gets met, but that you get practice making your dreams come true, and you deserve to have your dreams come true. Start now.<\/p>\n

Ne<\/strong>xt steps: <\/strong>First off, pat yourself on the back for all the good you do. What we\u2019re talking about here is tweaking to make your life even better.<\/p>\n

Pick one white lie you\u2019ve told yourself lately, and be on alert for it to come up again.<\/strong> When it does, reframe it to the real truth and feel yourself getting out of the mud and back on solid ground.<\/p>\n

Hit the share button if you found something useful!<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

Special Opportunity for Pick the Brain Readers<\/h1>\n

I\u2019m offering Pick the Brain readers a free online training event that teaches you how to add more focus, fun, and satisfaction to your life in just 10 minutes a day.<\/em><\/p>\n

This easy four-step process works, and after the training you\u2019ll:<\/em><\/p>\n

–\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/em>Add spice to your daily life, right away<\/em><\/p>\n

–\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/em>Feel more excited and energized than you have in ages<\/em><\/p>\n

–\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/em>Start getting the creative, independent, hugely satisfying life you deserve<\/em><\/p>\n

Drop off your email address at<\/em> Life on the High Wire<\/em><\/a> to sign up for free access. See you soon!<\/em><\/p>\n

One more thing \u2013 is there something you\u2019ve quit telling yourself because you realized it wasn\u2019t true? Let us know in the comments!<\/strong><\/strong><\/p>\n

DEONNE KAHLER writes at<\/em> Life on the High Wire<\/em><\/a>. She\u2019s mom to Sam the Wonder Pup and is obsessed with road tripping, national parks, and quirk. <\/em><\/p>\n

Photo credit: ‘Truth<\/a>‘ by Big Stock<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Here\u2019s the deal: this pep talk becomes a problem when what you\u2019re telling yourself \u2013 those \u201ctruths\u201d about the world \u2013 aren\u2019t true at all. They\u2019re lies. White ones, yes, but they\u2019re holding you back from going farther and faster. Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12163,"featured_media":11196,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0},"categories":[6],"tags":[4641,66,4639,207,4629,133],"yoast_head":"\n5 \u201cTruths\u201d You Might Tell Yourself That Are Actually Lies - Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Here\u2019s the deal: this pep talk becomes a problem when what you\u2019re telling yourself \u2013 those \u201ctruths\u201d about the world \u2013 aren\u2019t true at all. They\u2019re lies. White ones, yes, but they\u2019re holding you back from going farther and faster.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/5-truths-that-are-lies\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"5 \u201cTruths\u201d You Might Tell Yourself That Are Actually Lies - Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Here\u2019s the deal: this pep talk becomes a problem when what you\u2019re telling yourself \u2013 those \u201ctruths\u201d about the world \u2013 aren\u2019t true at all. They\u2019re lies. White ones, yes, but they\u2019re holding you back from going farther and faster.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/5-truths-that-are-lies\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"http:\/\/www.facebook.com\/pickthebrain\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2012-08-13T06:32:59+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2013-09-20T16:07:15+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/bigstock-Truth-1514051.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"499\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"361\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@pickthebrain\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@pickthebrain\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Erin Falconer\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"7 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/\",\"name\":\"Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement\",\"description\":\"\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/5-truths-that-are-lies\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/bigstock-Truth-1514051.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/bigstock-Truth-1514051.jpg\",\"width\":\"499\",\"height\":\"361\"},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/5-truths-that-are-lies\/#webpage\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/5-truths-that-are-lies\/\",\"name\":\"5 \u201cTruths\u201d You Might Tell Yourself That Are Actually Lies - Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/5-truths-that-are-lies\/#primaryimage\"},\"datePublished\":\"2012-08-13T06:32:59+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2013-09-20T16:07:15+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/2da8ae162c097bdb749ab098472b4cc5\"},\"description\":\"Here\u2019s the deal: this pep talk becomes a problem when what you\u2019re telling yourself \u2013 those \u201ctruths\u201d about the world \u2013 aren\u2019t true at all. They\u2019re lies. White ones, yes, but they\u2019re holding you back from going farther and faster.\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/5-truths-that-are-lies\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/5-truths-that-are-lies\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/5-truths-that-are-lies\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"5 \u201cTruths\u201d You Might Tell Yourself That Are Actually Lies\"}]},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/2da8ae162c097bdb749ab098472b4cc5\",\"name\":\"Erin Falconer\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/1173c63284b173ff225e5f87a1af5028?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/1173c63284b173ff225e5f87a1af5028?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Erin Falconer\"},\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/author\/erin\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"5 \u201cTruths\u201d You Might Tell Yourself That Are Actually Lies - Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement","description":"Here\u2019s the deal: this pep talk becomes a problem when what you\u2019re telling yourself \u2013 those \u201ctruths\u201d about the world \u2013 aren\u2019t true at all. They\u2019re lies. White ones, yes, but they\u2019re holding you back from going farther and faster.","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/5-truths-that-are-lies\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"5 \u201cTruths\u201d You Might Tell Yourself That Are Actually Lies - Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement","og_description":"Here\u2019s the deal: this pep talk becomes a problem when what you\u2019re telling yourself \u2013 those \u201ctruths\u201d about the world \u2013 aren\u2019t true at all. They\u2019re lies. White ones, yes, but they\u2019re holding you back from going farther and faster.","og_url":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/5-truths-that-are-lies\/","og_site_name":"Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement","article_publisher":"http:\/\/www.facebook.com\/pickthebrain","article_published_time":"2012-08-13T06:32:59+00:00","article_modified_time":"2013-09-20T16:07:15+00:00","og_image":[{"width":"499","height":"361","url":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/bigstock-Truth-1514051.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"twitter_card":"summary","twitter_creator":"@pickthebrain","twitter_site":"@pickthebrain","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Erin Falconer","Est. reading time":"7 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/","name":"Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement","description":"","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/5-truths-that-are-lies\/#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/bigstock-Truth-1514051.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/bigstock-Truth-1514051.jpg","width":"499","height":"361"},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/5-truths-that-are-lies\/#webpage","url":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/5-truths-that-are-lies\/","name":"5 \u201cTruths\u201d You Might Tell Yourself That Are Actually Lies - Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/5-truths-that-are-lies\/#primaryimage"},"datePublished":"2012-08-13T06:32:59+00:00","dateModified":"2013-09-20T16:07:15+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/2da8ae162c097bdb749ab098472b4cc5"},"description":"Here\u2019s the deal: this pep talk becomes a problem when what you\u2019re telling yourself \u2013 those \u201ctruths\u201d about the world \u2013 aren\u2019t true at all. They\u2019re lies. White ones, yes, but they\u2019re holding you back from going farther and faster.","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/5-truths-that-are-lies\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/5-truths-that-are-lies\/"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/5-truths-that-are-lies\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"5 \u201cTruths\u201d You Might Tell Yourself That Are Actually Lies"}]},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/2da8ae162c097bdb749ab098472b4cc5","name":"Erin Falconer","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/1173c63284b173ff225e5f87a1af5028?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/1173c63284b173ff225e5f87a1af5028?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Erin Falconer"},"url":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/author\/erin\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11155"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/12163"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=11155"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11155\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/11196"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=11155"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=11155"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=11155"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}