{"id":10825,"date":"2012-07-01T22:51:10","date_gmt":"2012-07-02T06:51:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/?p=10825"},"modified":"2013-09-18T14:19:30","modified_gmt":"2013-09-18T22:19:30","slug":"why-you-need-to-say-no-more-often-and-how-to-do-just-that","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/why-you-need-to-say-no-more-often-and-how-to-do-just-that\/","title":{"rendered":"Why You Need to Say &#8220;No&#8221; More Often (And How to Do Just That)"},"content":{"rendered":"<div style=\"margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;\" class=\"sharethis-inline-share-buttons\" ><\/div><p><a href=\"http:\/\/wp.me\/pAjjf-2OB\"><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Do you ever find yourself saying \u201cYes\u201d \u2013 only to immediately experience a sinking feeling inside?<\/p>\n<p>Many of us take on too many commitments, because we have a hard time saying \u201cno\u201d. We\u2019re constantly busy \u2013 perhaps without the time to exercise regularly or pursue our own goals \u2013 and yet we often bend over backwards to accommodate other people\u2019s requests.<\/p>\n<p>Of course, there\u2019ll be times when you want to help out a friend, college, or family member. There\u2019ll also be times when you think you don\u2019t have any choice about saying \u201cyes\u201d or \u201cno\u201d \u2013 like when your boss asks if you can work late, again. But <strong>if you run yourself ragged trying to help out everyone else, you\u2019re never going to achieve the things that <em>you<\/em> want.<!--more--><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>You need to say \u201cno\u201d more often if:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>You always tell yourself that you\u2019ll be less busy in a few months &#8230; but you seem to get busier and busier.<\/li>\n<li>You feel resentful about some of the tasks that you\u2019d taken on, and wish you hadn\u2019t.<\/li>\n<li>You\u2019re stressed out trying to find time to do everything.<\/li>\n<li>You\u2019re neglecting some of your basic needs, like exercise and healthy meals.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>People won\u2019t stop liking you just because you say \u201cno\u201d to a request (though they might well develop more respect for you).<\/strong> And the world won\u2019t fall apart if you say \u201cno\u201d, even in situations where you feel like someone really needs your help.<\/p>\n<h2>Get Better at Saying No<\/h2>\n<p>Try to make \u201cno\u201d your default. It\u2019s all too easy to say \u201cSure, that\u2019s no problem\u201d when, in truth, you\u2019re already feeling anxious, even panicked, about how you\u2019ll possibly find time.<\/p>\n<p>Next time someone makes a request, think carefully before saying \u201cyes\u201d. If at all possible, delay giving a response so that you have time to think it through \u2013 for instance, you could say \u201cI\u2019ll need to think about that\u201d or \u201cLet me get back to you tomorrow once I\u2019ve checked my diary.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>If you feel guilty about saying \u201cno\u201d, then you might want to journal about your feelings.<\/strong> You may also find it helpful to write a list of the pros and cons of saying \u201cno\u201d, to help you make a good decision for you.<\/p>\n<h2>Focus on What\u2019s Important<\/h2>\n<p>It\u2019s easier to say \u201cno\u201d when you\u2019ve got a clear focus on what\u2019s truly important in your life. That could be:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Your family<\/li>\n<li>Your career<\/li>\n<li>Your health<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>It could also be a specific goal, like getting out of debt, or writing a book.<\/p>\n<p><strong>When you have a key area of life or an important goal in mind, it\u2019s easier to say \u201cno\u201d and feel justified.<\/strong> After all, isn\u2019t spending time with your kids more important than chairing meetings of that local community group?<\/p>\n<h2>Learn Ways to Say No<\/h2>\n<p>Some people won\u2019t take no for an answer. Others may get a little huffy or annoyed about being told \u201cno\u201d \u2013 especially if they\u2019re used to you helping them out constantly.<\/p>\n<p>Some good ways to say \u201cno\u201d are:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Being direct.<\/strong> Say \u201cNo, I can\u2019t do that\u201d and keep saying it.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Offering a compromise.<\/strong> If a straight \u201cno\u201d really isn\u2019t going to work, how about \u201cI\u2019m afraid I can\u2019t take that on, but I could help you out with &#8230;\u201d<\/li>\n<li><strong>Explaining your priorities.<\/strong> \u201cI\u2019m afraid I don\u2019t have time to help, because I\u2019m in the middle of a career change.\u201d<\/li>\n<li><strong>Writing down your \u201cno\u201d.<\/strong> If you get easily intimidated in conversations \u2013 and end up backing down from your position \u2013 then you might try responding by email or even in a written letter instead. This gives you more time to formulate responses.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Stay flexible, and use different methods depending on the situation. If you find a particular way of saying \u201cno\u201d that works well for you, try using it again in future.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ultimately, you only have one life to live \u2013 and you want to make the most of it.<\/strong> If your life is full of unwanted commitments, or if you dread being phoned by that particular person who always wants something from you, then learn to say \u201cno\u201d, today.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><em>Do you struggle to say \u201cno\u201d? Share your experiences in the comments \u2013 let us know what you find hard, and what\u2019s worked for you.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Photo credit: &#8216;<a href=\"http:\/\/www.bigstockphoto.com\/download\/bid-847562\/\">Mountains<\/a>&#8216; by Big Stock<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Of course, there\u2019ll be times when you want to help out a friend, college, or family member. There\u2019ll also be times when you think you don\u2019t have any choice about saying \u201cyes\u201d or \u201cno\u201d \u2013 like when your boss asks if you can work late, again. But if you run yourself ragged trying to help out everyone else, you\u2019re never going to achieve the things that you want. <a href=\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/why-you-need-to-say-no-more-often-and-how-to-do-just-that\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12163,"featured_media":10827,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0},"categories":[6],"tags":[644,66,1528,4629],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v19.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Why You Need to Say &quot;No&quot; More Often (And How to Do Just That) - Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Many of us take on too many commitments, because we have a hard time saying \u201cno\u201d. We\u2019re constantly busy \u2013 perhaps without the time to exercise regularly or pursue our own goals \u2013 and yet we often bend over backwards to accommodate other people\u2019s requests.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/why-you-need-to-say-no-more-often-and-how-to-do-just-that\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Why You Need to Say &quot;No&quot; More Often (And How to Do Just That) - Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Many of us take on too many commitments, because we have a hard time saying \u201cno\u201d. 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