Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement https://www.pickthebrain.com/blog Tue, 11 Aug 2020 12:18:19 +0000 en-US hourly 1 Romantic Relationships: Why You Should Give Online Dating a Try https://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/relationships-2/ https://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/relationships-2/#respond Tue, 11 Aug 2020 09:32:28 +0000 https://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/?p=81720

Romantic relationships may be hard to find, but they can also add three years to your life and provide a lifetime of memories. You'll be happier, less lonely and can enjoy lower levels of stress by finding someone special.

If you’re struggling to find romance, online dating removes many of the obstacles people face when meeting in person.

You'll be able to find a physical and personality match that is perfect for you.

But before trying to find your perfect match, it’s important to understand why relationships are important in our lives.

Understanding the Importance of Relationships in Our Life

Relationships, whether romantic, friendships, business or with family, are vital to the overall well-being of a person. When you have healthy romantic relationships, they can have a profound impact on your life and health.

The University of Minnesota outlines how healthy relationships can change a person’s life.

1. You’ll Live Longer

A peer review of 148 studies on impact of relationships and life span found that:

  • Relationships reduce the risk of dying prematurely by 50%
  • Finding a life partner can add three years to your life expectancy

But it is important to note that men benefit more from marriage than women in this respect.

An additional study on 127,545 Americans found that married men are healthier than men who are divorced or never married. Marrying after 25 also provides more health benefits than marrying at a young age.

Romantic relationships may provide better health and a longer lifespan for several reasons, but the key reason suggested in the study is lower loneliness levels. Married men living with their wives are among the healthiest, while those that live with their partners but are not married are healthier than single individuals.

Living longer is one of the many health benefits of a relationship, but there are many more.

2. Lower Stress Levels

Stress is inevitable, and relationships offer an escape from stress. When you’re in a relationship, you’re able to recover from stress faster than when you’re single. A study including 100 people found that the impact of stress is reduced when a person is reminded of having a strong relationship.

But if the relationship is unhealthy, you may suffer from higher:

  • Stress
  • Blood pressure levels

Oftentimes, having someone to share these stressful moments with can have a great impact on the overall impact of stress.

What Happens When You Have Low Social Support?

If you’re not in a relationship and have low social support, the negative impact on your life can be severe. In fact, a healthy relationship improves a person’s well-being as much as a 50% increase in income.

Low social support can lead to:

  • Blood pressure hikes. Loneliness leads to higher blood pressure, according to a study from the University of Chicago. Even if the loneliness is only temporary, a person’s blood pressure levels can stay elevated for years.
  • Immune function. Loneliness was also associated with a decrease in immune function. What researchers found was that a lack of healthy relationships or social connections in your life will increase your chances of becoming sick.
  • Depression. Studies on depression, pain and fatigue found that lack of social connections and relationships increased the risk of depression.

Relationships of all kinds, but especially romantic relationships, can be the most beneficial for a person’s health.

In life, the relationships that you forge and maintain may be the difference between a happier, healthier and longer life or a life of sickness, depression and higher risk of premature death.

Relationships and General Life Benefits

Men and women both benefit from relationships, but there’s a difference in the benefits each receive. Relationships can be a mirror into a person’s own life, allowing us to:

  • Improve in our careers
  • Change as a person
  • Experience new life adventures

Humans are known for falling into a routine and staying within a “safe place” that is our comfort zone. There are thrill seekers that may always push their limits, but for most people, relationships allow us to experience new life adventures together.

Relationships push us out of our comfort zones and experience things we may never had experienced in the past.

There’s also the part of relationships that many people don’t want to talk about: feeling needed.

Life can be lonely and confusing, but romantic relationships can change all of that. When you’re in a relationship, you benefit from:

  • Feeling needed
  • Being important
  • Having someone to rely on
  • Having someone to share experiences with

Dating and relationships can be a lot of fun, and they impact our lives in so many ways. You'll learn more about yourself in a relationship, how you deal with challenges and even your own weak points. You’ll learn acceptance through relationships.

The relationships that you’re in and experience teach you just as much about yourself as it does about others. Relationships teach us about love and how to be loved.

Relationships are formed in numerous ways, and each way provides an authentic look at life.

How Relationships are Formed

Relationships today are a lot different than they were 20 – 40 years ago. Texting and online dating have changed the way people meet, and these changes in communication are just the start of the changes in romantic relationships.

Location is a Major Issue

Location was once a major concern. You had to go out to the bar, a fundraiser or even church to spark new relationships. You had to put yourself “out there” and take a risk that the person you’re attracted to will be single and looking to date.

Times have changed – it's less scary to date.

Online dating is the new “bar,” and if someone is on Zoosk or a similar site, you can be sure that they’re:

  • Interested in a relationship
  • Interested in you

Of course, the first date will play a major factor in how the relationship advances. You may find that there’s no chemistry between the two of you, and if there’s no chemistry, it was a nice night out socializing.

In 50% of relationships, the partners live close to one another. “Close” can be relative, as people can now FaceTime or go on Zoom to chat. Still, people prefer someone that is a driving distance away to allow for frequent meetings.

Dating apps and online dating allow you to find a partner that is within a satisfactory distance from where you live. If you don’t mind or even prefer long distance relationships, online dating can help you meet the perfect match whether they’re 10, 20, 50 or 100 miles away.

Attraction is a Must

Relationship experts agree: attraction is a must. But attraction can be many things:

  • Physical attraction
  • Personality attraction

Dating apps show that people that are physically attractive receive more messages and go on more dates together.

But you can contact multiple people and find someone you’re attracted to online who wants to go on a date. The date will be telling because once on a date, you’ll start to see if you’re attracted to the person’s:

  • Personality
  • Humor
  • Other traits

Online dating helps you break the ice and get on the first date to learn more about the other person to see if you’re attracted to them beyond looks.

Relationships Built Online

Location and attraction are two very important factors in a relationship, but romantic relationships truly start as you get to know a person. Studies from Stanford found that 39% of heterosexual couples met their partners online.

And this figure continues to rise.

The benefit of meeting someone online is that you can:

  • Video chat with a person to break free from misleading photos and ensure that there’s a physical attraction
  • Chat with the person to make sure that your personalities match
  • See if going on a date is in both of your best interests

A lot of the learning about a person to see if they’re a good relationship match is changing. You can chat and video call a person, see if your personalities match and ensure that there’s a spark prior to going on a date.

Online dating reduces the risk of being denied and increases your chance of finding a good personality match for you.

The stigma of meeting online is fading, and it has replaced meeting through mutual friends.

Opposites Don’t Attract

Even if the way relationships form has changed, there is one thing that has remained the same since the beginning of mankind: opposites don’t attract. You may be attracted to, date and even marry someone who is an opposite, but chances are, your relationship will fail.

Research shows that attraction has a higher chance of success if two people are:

  • Very similar to each other
  • Of similar ages, which allow for higher attraction for a longer period of time
  • Of similar social classes, which tend to match together better

Partners with similar viewpoints tend to have relationships that are stronger. Online dating apps allow for preference matching. Zoosk, for example, will compare your preferences to others in your database to find a match that will attract on both the physical and emotional level needed for a long, healthy relationship.

Relationships with a similar person are great, but if they’re too similar, you may miss out on the learning experience that relationships offer.

You can and should learn a lot from your partner, so while opposites may not attract, you don’t want the person you’re dating to be 100% like you.

Online dating allows you to form relationships in new, exciting ways. Once you form the base relationship, you can go on a date or choose to find someone else that is a better romantic match for you.

Should You Try Online Dating?

It seems like everyone has tried online dating, and that’s because most people have. According to a report from Pew Research Center, 30% of U.S. adults have tried online dating. That same report found that most people have a positive experience with dating apps and websites.

Still, there is a bit of a stigma attached to online dating – even today. That makes some people apprehensive about giving it a try.

3 Things to Consider Before Trying Online Dating

Before you dive into the vast world of online dating, there are some things you should consider.

  1. Your Communication Style
    When you meet someone you’re interested in, how do you prefer to communicate? Over the phone? Face to face? Through text messages?
    If you’re comfortable or prefer talking over text, on the phone or on video chat, online dating may be a good option for you.
  2. Your Lifestyle
    How much free time do you have? If you’re juggling a full-time job and kids, you may not have a lot of time to go out and meet people.
    Most people lead busy, exhausting lives. At the end of the day, you may only have enough time to eat dinner and relax for an hour before bed. You’re so exhausted on the weekend that you can’t even think about going out to try and meet someone.
    With online dating, you can view dating profiles and talk to people you might be interested in right from your living room sofa. You don’t have to spend a fortune at the bar and waste your time talking to the all the wrong people.
    If you have a busy life, online dating may be good fit for you.
  3. Your Comfort Level
    Many people are still concerned about the safety of online dating, and rightfully so. Online dating can be dangerous if you aren’t careful. But truthfully, meeting someone in person can be just as dangerous.
    No matter how you met your date (online or in person), it’s probably not a good idea to go back to the person’s house or to meet in a sketchy place.
    Still, it's important to consider how comfortable you are meeting someone you met online in person. If you’re comfortable meeting in a public place and have friends who will stay in regular contact with you during the date, online dating may be a great option for you.

3 Reasons to Try Online Dating

  1. An Easy Way to Meet New People
    Online dating is an easy and efficient way to meet new people. Why spend hours at the bar waiting for someone who catches your eye when you can review dating profiles of people in your area without having to leave the house?
    Swipe right if you find someone attractive and learn more about them. It’s that easy.
    If you like what you see, you can get to know each other better and eventually meet in person. With online dating, you can see if a person is worth your time before you go out of your way to meet up.
  2. Saves You Time
    How may weekends have you spent out at the bar looking for Mr. or Mrs. Right? How many friends have tried to set you up with their “nice single friend?”
    Set-ups are great – until they show up and you realize that you have nothing in common. You don’t even find them attractive.
    If you’re like many people, the bar scene and friendly matchmaking services just aren’t working for you.
    Online dating can save you time by connecting you with single people you’re interested in. You don’t have to waste time trying to figure out if someone is single or available. If they’re using an online dating app, you can be pretty certain that they’re not in a relationship.
  3. Great for Shy People
    If you’re shy or socially anxious, online dating may make it a little easier to “approach” someone and strike up a conversation. Many people find that it’s much easier to open up and get to know someone through online conversations. This can make the face-to-face meeting a little easier because you already know the person and feel comfortable around them.

Best Online Dating Brand

Zoosk

With more than 35 million members, Zoosk is one of the most popular online dating services and the top grossing dating app on the Apple App Store. It’s available in more than 80 countries and 25 languages, so single people from all over the world can connect with other local singles.

If you’re interested in online dating but aren’t sure if you want to pay for it, you can sign up for free and preview the site. You can view profiles of other members and see how the site works before signing up for a subscription. Once you become a paid member, you can start communicating with other members on the site.

Zoosk has some features that makes their service stand out from the crowd:

  • Send virtual gifts to people you’re interested in.
  • Photo Verification shows other members that your photo really looks like you. Verified photos have a green badge.
  • SmartPick learns your preferences and helps you find better match recommendations.
  • Carousel allows you to see photos and ages of other members and decide whether you want to meet them. Select “yes” or “maybe” if you’re interested, and they’re interested, too, they will be added to your Connections.
  • Super Send allows you to introduce yourself to a lot of other singles at once. People who are interested can message you back and start a conversation.

Zoosk’s user-friendly interface and easy cancellation process make it a favorite online dating service among singles across the globe.

How to Get Started with Online Dating

If you’re new to the world of online dating, you may be feeling overwhelmed, anxious and unsure of how to get started.

A few things to think about before you sign up for a dating service:

  • What do you want to include in your profile?
  • How much are you willing to spend on the service each month?
  • What rules and protective measures are important to you?
  • Do you want to be part of a large network, or a smaller, niche dating community?
  • What type of relationship are you looking for?

By taking the time to answer these questions, you can enter the world of online dating with goals and preferences in mind.

Find the Right Service

Take your time when choosing an online dating platform. Sign up for a free account (if it’s available) and take a look around the site before you commit to a subscription. Do you see any members you’d be interested in? Are there users that share your interests, values and goals?

What about the service itself?

  • Does it fit your budget?
  • What’s the cancellation policy?
  • Are there any hidden fees?

Choose your platform carefully to ensure your experience is as positive as possible. And don’t be afraid to switch platforms if you find that your current one isn’t working for you.

10 Tips for Online Dating

1. Be Genuine When Creating Your Profile

When you choose a dating service and sign up for an account, the first step is to create a profile. When creating your profile, make sure that you are genuine and post an actual, unedited photo of yourself.

If you’re serious about meeting someone you want to build a relationship with, they must see and get to know the real you.

  • If you have kids, be honest.
  • If you have pets, be honest.
  • If you smoke, be honest.

These may seem like minor details, but they are a part of who you are and your lifestyle. Let’s say that you found what feels like the perfect match, but you lied about having a cat. As it turns out, your match is highly allergic to cats. If things get serious, you’ll have to come clean about the lie. Your match won’t appreciate being lied to, and while it may not seem like a big deal, something as simple as a pet allergy can break up a new relationship.

Just be honest. You want to attract and connect with someone who knows and appreciates the real you. You can’t do that if you aren’t honest in your profile, or in conversations with potential matches.

2. Don’t Be Too Revealing

You’re just getting started with online dating and meeting people online. There’s no need to reveal too much personal information just yet.

Only share information that you feel comfortable sharing or that you’d share with someone you just met at a bar.

Most people on dating apps are there to meet other singles, but there are people who have bad intentions. Be careful about how much information you reveal. Don’t put all of your personal information out there right away.

If you want to meet someone in person, do it in a public place. They don’t need to know your address just yet. Protect yourself by keeping your personal information private for now.

3. Always Meet in Public Places

It should go without saying that you should always meet your matches in a public place where you feel safe. Have a designated friend that you can check in with throughout the night, and don’t be afraid to leave if you aren’t having a good time. Dating should be fun. It's okay to make an excuse and end the night early if you feel like the date is going nowhere.

4. Don’t Get Discouraged

It’s easy to get discouraged with online dating. You may have days or weeks when you scroll thought potential matches and find nothing that catches your eye. That’s okay. Online dating makes it easier to find and connect with people, but sometimes, there just aren’t any members that share your goals or interests available.

Give it time. Take a break if you have to, and don’t change your standards just because you can’t seem to find any matches right now.

5. Ask a Friend to Review and Edit Your Profile

Whether your goal is a long-term relationship or just to date around, your profile should reflect your true personality and your intentions. Sometimes, our judgment can get clouded when trying to build an online dating profile.

Have a trusted, honest friend review and edit your profile before it goes live. An honest friend will give you feedback and help you tweak your profile so that you present yourself in a genuine way.

While your friend is reviewing your profile, have him/her look for grammar and spelling errors. It may seem trivial, but you want your profile to be a positive reflection of yourself. Spelling and grammar errors may turn some people off.

6. You Don’t Have to Respond to Every Contact

When you receive a contact, you may feel obligated to respond. You don’t owe anyone anything. Politely declining and explaining why you don’t think you’d be a good fit will only waste your valuable time. Some online dating users don’t know how to take “no” for an answer, so responses may only give the wrong impression.

If a contact doesn’t interest you, it’s okay to ignore it.

7. Keep First Dates Brief

When making plans for a first date, aim for something quick and casual, like a coffee or drink. The idea of a grand first date may sound romantic, but it also puts a lot of pressure on both of you.

What if the other person looks nothing like his/her photos? What if the chemistry just isn’t there? You don’t want to feel forced to spend a big extravagant evening with someone you never met.

Take the pressure off. Meet for a cup of coffee or dessert. If there’s an event you’re both interested in, meet up, see how you feel about each other and go from there. If things don’t go as well as planned, it’s easy to cut things short without any hard feelings or making it awkward.

Also, give yourself a responsible “out” that you can use if necessary. Make plans with a friend for after the date. This gives you a valid excuse to duck out and leave if things aren’t going well.

8. Don’t Be Overly Eager

It’s natural to get excited about meeting someone you’re interested in. You may think about them throughout the day, and you may feel tempted to share what you’re up to. But it’s important not to be overly eager.

If you’re just getting to know someone, don’t message them more than once in a day. Although your intentions are good, you may come off as too eager and may give the other person cold feet.

When first reaching out to new matches, give them some time to respond. Don’t send multiple messages or worse, angry messages, asking them to respond. They may never respond. That’s okay. Don't take it too personally.

9. Keep it Positive and Avoid Clichés in Your Profile

When creating your profile, keep it positive and leave the clichés at the door. Think of your profile as your dating resume. Don’t lie, but don’t dwell on the negative. Keep it light, positive and interesting.

Sure, you may love walks on the beach or drinking wine by the fire, but so does everyone else. Add interesting conversation starters to your profile to stand out in the crowd.

10. Don't Just Post Selfies

Your online dating profile should have more than one photo and ideally, you should post more than just selfies. Share photos of you doing fun and interesting things with your friends. Post pictures that show off your personality and lifestyle. This will give potential matches a better look at who you are and whether you’d be a good fit together.

Don’t forget to include photos of you smiling. People want to see your big, beautiful smile. After all, happiness and positivity are major turn-ons.

Update your pictures and your profile regularly. Your life is constantly changing, and your dating profile should be a reflection of that.

The world of online dating is vast, and with millions of people all over the world using online dating apps, it’s a great time to give this dating style a try. Relationships enrich your life and improve your well-being. Online dating can help you find someone you connect with – all without having to spend your nights and weekends out trying to meet people.

The post Romantic Relationships: Why You Should Give Online Dating a Try appeared first on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.

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Romantic relationships may be hard to find, but they can also add three years to your life and provide a lifetime of memories. You'll be happier, less lonely and can enjoy lower levels of stress by finding someone special.

If you’re struggling to find romance, online dating removes many of the obstacles people face when meeting in person.

You'll be able to find a physical and personality match that is perfect for you.

But before trying to find your perfect match, it’s important to understand why relationships are important in our lives.

Understanding the Importance of Relationships in Our Life

Relationships, whether romantic, friendships, business or with family, are vital to the overall well-being of a person. When you have healthy romantic relationships, they can have a profound impact on your life and health.

The University of Minnesota outlines how healthy relationships can change a person’s life.

1. You’ll Live Longer

A peer review of 148 studies on impact of relationships and life span found that:

  • Relationships reduce the risk of dying prematurely by 50%
  • Finding a life partner can add three years to your life expectancy

But it is important to note that men benefit more from marriage than women in this respect.

An additional study on 127,545 Americans found that married men are healthier than men who are divorced or never married. Marrying after 25 also provides more health benefits than marrying at a young age.

Romantic relationships may provide better health and a longer lifespan for several reasons, but the key reason suggested in the study is lower loneliness levels. Married men living with their wives are among the healthiest, while those that live with their partners but are not married are healthier than single individuals.

Living longer is one of the many health benefits of a relationship, but there are many more.

2. Lower Stress Levels

Stress is inevitable, and relationships offer an escape from stress. When you’re in a relationship, you’re able to recover from stress faster than when you’re single. A study including 100 people found that the impact of stress is reduced when a person is reminded of having a strong relationship.

But if the relationship is unhealthy, you may suffer from higher:

  • Stress
  • Blood pressure levels

Oftentimes, having someone to share these stressful moments with can have a great impact on the overall impact of stress.

What Happens When You Have Low Social Support?

If you’re not in a relationship and have low social support, the negative impact on your life can be severe. In fact, a healthy relationship improves a person’s well-being as much as a 50% increase in income.

Low social support can lead to:

  • Blood pressure hikes. Loneliness leads to higher blood pressure, according to a study from the University of Chicago. Even if the loneliness is only temporary, a person’s blood pressure levels can stay elevated for years.
  • Immune function. Loneliness was also associated with a decrease in immune function. What researchers found was that a lack of healthy relationships or social connections in your life will increase your chances of becoming sick.
  • Depression. Studies on depression, pain and fatigue found that lack of social connections and relationships increased the risk of depression.

Relationships of all kinds, but especially romantic relationships, can be the most beneficial for a person’s health.

In life, the relationships that you forge and maintain may be the difference between a happier, healthier and longer life or a life of sickness, depression and higher risk of premature death.

Relationships and General Life Benefits

Men and women both benefit from relationships, but there’s a difference in the benefits each receive. Relationships can be a mirror into a person’s own life, allowing us to:

  • Improve in our careers
  • Change as a person
  • Experience new life adventures

Humans are known for falling into a routine and staying within a “safe place” that is our comfort zone. There are thrill seekers that may always push their limits, but for most people, relationships allow us to experience new life adventures together.

Relationships push us out of our comfort zones and experience things we may never had experienced in the past.

There’s also the part of relationships that many people don’t want to talk about: feeling needed.

Life can be lonely and confusing, but romantic relationships can change all of that. When you’re in a relationship, you benefit from:

  • Feeling needed
  • Being important
  • Having someone to rely on
  • Having someone to share experiences with

Dating and relationships can be a lot of fun, and they impact our lives in so many ways. You'll learn more about yourself in a relationship, how you deal with challenges and even your own weak points. You’ll learn acceptance through relationships.

The relationships that you’re in and experience teach you just as much about yourself as it does about others. Relationships teach us about love and how to be loved.

Relationships are formed in numerous ways, and each way provides an authentic look at life.

How Relationships are Formed

Relationships today are a lot different than they were 20 – 40 years ago. Texting and online dating have changed the way people meet, and these changes in communication are just the start of the changes in romantic relationships.

Location is a Major Issue

Location was once a major concern. You had to go out to the bar, a fundraiser or even church to spark new relationships. You had to put yourself “out there” and take a risk that the person you’re attracted to will be single and looking to date.

Times have changed – it's less scary to date.

Online dating is the new “bar,” and if someone is on Zoosk or a similar site, you can be sure that they’re:

  • Interested in a relationship
  • Interested in you

Of course, the first date will play a major factor in how the relationship advances. You may find that there’s no chemistry between the two of you, and if there’s no chemistry, it was a nice night out socializing.

In 50% of relationships, the partners live close to one another. “Close” can be relative, as people can now FaceTime or go on Zoom to chat. Still, people prefer someone that is a driving distance away to allow for frequent meetings.

Dating apps and online dating allow you to find a partner that is within a satisfactory distance from where you live. If you don’t mind or even prefer long distance relationships, online dating can help you meet the perfect match whether they’re 10, 20, 50 or 100 miles away.

Attraction is a Must

Relationship experts agree: attraction is a must. But attraction can be many things:

  • Physical attraction
  • Personality attraction

Dating apps show that people that are physically attractive receive more messages and go on more dates together.

But you can contact multiple people and find someone you’re attracted to online who wants to go on a date. The date will be telling because once on a date, you’ll start to see if you’re attracted to the person’s:

  • Personality
  • Humor
  • Other traits

Online dating helps you break the ice and get on the first date to learn more about the other person to see if you’re attracted to them beyond looks.

Relationships Built Online

Location and attraction are two very important factors in a relationship, but romantic relationships truly start as you get to know a person. Studies from Stanford found that 39% of heterosexual couples met their partners online.

And this figure continues to rise.

The benefit of meeting someone online is that you can:

  • Video chat with a person to break free from misleading photos and ensure that there’s a physical attraction
  • Chat with the person to make sure that your personalities match
  • See if going on a date is in both of your best interests

A lot of the learning about a person to see if they’re a good relationship match is changing. You can chat and video call a person, see if your personalities match and ensure that there’s a spark prior to going on a date.

Online dating reduces the risk of being denied and increases your chance of finding a good personality match for you.

The stigma of meeting online is fading, and it has replaced meeting through mutual friends.

Opposites Don’t Attract

Even if the way relationships form has changed, there is one thing that has remained the same since the beginning of mankind: opposites don’t attract. You may be attracted to, date and even marry someone who is an opposite, but chances are, your relationship will fail.

Research shows that attraction has a higher chance of success if two people are:

  • Very similar to each other
  • Of similar ages, which allow for higher attraction for a longer period of time
  • Of similar social classes, which tend to match together better

Partners with similar viewpoints tend to have relationships that are stronger. Online dating apps allow for preference matching. Zoosk, for example, will compare your preferences to others in your database to find a match that will attract on both the physical and emotional level needed for a long, healthy relationship.

Relationships with a similar person are great, but if they’re too similar, you may miss out on the learning experience that relationships offer.

You can and should learn a lot from your partner, so while opposites may not attract, you don’t want the person you’re dating to be 100% like you.

Online dating allows you to form relationships in new, exciting ways. Once you form the base relationship, you can go on a date or choose to find someone else that is a better romantic match for you.

Should You Try Online Dating?

It seems like everyone has tried online dating, and that’s because most people have. According to a report from Pew Research Center, 30% of U.S. adults have tried online dating. That same report found that most people have a positive experience with dating apps and websites.

Still, there is a bit of a stigma attached to online dating – even today. That makes some people apprehensive about giving it a try.

3 Things to Consider Before Trying Online Dating

Before you dive into the vast world of online dating, there are some things you should consider.

  1. Your Communication Style
    When you meet someone you’re interested in, how do you prefer to communicate? Over the phone? Face to face? Through text messages?
    If you’re comfortable or prefer talking over text, on the phone or on video chat, online dating may be a good option for you.
  2. Your Lifestyle
    How much free time do you have? If you’re juggling a full-time job and kids, you may not have a lot of time to go out and meet people.
    Most people lead busy, exhausting lives. At the end of the day, you may only have enough time to eat dinner and relax for an hour before bed. You’re so exhausted on the weekend that you can’t even think about going out to try and meet someone.
    With online dating, you can view dating profiles and talk to people you might be interested in right from your living room sofa. You don’t have to spend a fortune at the bar and waste your time talking to the all the wrong people.
    If you have a busy life, online dating may be good fit for you.
  3. Your Comfort Level
    Many people are still concerned about the safety of online dating, and rightfully so. Online dating can be dangerous if you aren’t careful. But truthfully, meeting someone in person can be just as dangerous.
    No matter how you met your date (online or in person), it’s probably not a good idea to go back to the person’s house or to meet in a sketchy place.
    Still, it's important to consider how comfortable you are meeting someone you met online in person. If you’re comfortable meeting in a public place and have friends who will stay in regular contact with you during the date, online dating may be a great option for you.

3 Reasons to Try Online Dating

  1. An Easy Way to Meet New People
    Online dating is an easy and efficient way to meet new people. Why spend hours at the bar waiting for someone who catches your eye when you can review dating profiles of people in your area without having to leave the house?
    Swipe right if you find someone attractive and learn more about them. It’s that easy.
    If you like what you see, you can get to know each other better and eventually meet in person. With online dating, you can see if a person is worth your time before you go out of your way to meet up.
  2. Saves You Time
    How may weekends have you spent out at the bar looking for Mr. or Mrs. Right? How many friends have tried to set you up with their “nice single friend?”
    Set-ups are great – until they show up and you realize that you have nothing in common. You don’t even find them attractive.
    If you’re like many people, the bar scene and friendly matchmaking services just aren’t working for you.
    Online dating can save you time by connecting you with single people you’re interested in. You don’t have to waste time trying to figure out if someone is single or available. If they’re using an online dating app, you can be pretty certain that they’re not in a relationship.
  3. Great for Shy People
    If you’re shy or socially anxious, online dating may make it a little easier to “approach” someone and strike up a conversation. Many people find that it’s much easier to open up and get to know someone through online conversations. This can make the face-to-face meeting a little easier because you already know the person and feel comfortable around them.

Best Online Dating Brand

Zoosk

With more than 35 million members, Zoosk is one of the most popular online dating services and the top grossing dating app on the Apple App Store. It’s available in more than 80 countries and 25 languages, so single people from all over the world can connect with other local singles.

If you’re interested in online dating but aren’t sure if you want to pay for it, you can sign up for free and preview the site. You can view profiles of other members and see how the site works before signing up for a subscription. Once you become a paid member, you can start communicating with other members on the site.

Zoosk has some features that makes their service stand out from the crowd:

  • Send virtual gifts to people you’re interested in.
  • Photo Verification shows other members that your photo really looks like you. Verified photos have a green badge.
  • SmartPick learns your preferences and helps you find better match recommendations.
  • Carousel allows you to see photos and ages of other members and decide whether you want to meet them. Select “yes” or “maybe” if you’re interested, and they’re interested, too, they will be added to your Connections.
  • Super Send allows you to introduce yourself to a lot of other singles at once. People who are interested can message you back and start a conversation.

Zoosk’s user-friendly interface and easy cancellation process make it a favorite online dating service among singles across the globe.

How to Get Started with Online Dating

If you’re new to the world of online dating, you may be feeling overwhelmed, anxious and unsure of how to get started.

A few things to think about before you sign up for a dating service:

  • What do you want to include in your profile?
  • How much are you willing to spend on the service each month?
  • What rules and protective measures are important to you?
  • Do you want to be part of a large network, or a smaller, niche dating community?
  • What type of relationship are you looking for?

By taking the time to answer these questions, you can enter the world of online dating with goals and preferences in mind.

Find the Right Service

Take your time when choosing an online dating platform. Sign up for a free account (if it’s available) and take a look around the site before you commit to a subscription. Do you see any members you’d be interested in? Are there users that share your interests, values and goals?

What about the service itself?

  • Does it fit your budget?
  • What’s the cancellation policy?
  • Are there any hidden fees?

Choose your platform carefully to ensure your experience is as positive as possible. And don’t be afraid to switch platforms if you find that your current one isn’t working for you.

10 Tips for Online Dating

1. Be Genuine When Creating Your Profile

When you choose a dating service and sign up for an account, the first step is to create a profile. When creating your profile, make sure that you are genuine and post an actual, unedited photo of yourself.

If you’re serious about meeting someone you want to build a relationship with, they must see and get to know the real you.

  • If you have kids, be honest.
  • If you have pets, be honest.
  • If you smoke, be honest.

These may seem like minor details, but they are a part of who you are and your lifestyle. Let’s say that you found what feels like the perfect match, but you lied about having a cat. As it turns out, your match is highly allergic to cats. If things get serious, you’ll have to come clean about the lie. Your match won’t appreciate being lied to, and while it may not seem like a big deal, something as simple as a pet allergy can break up a new relationship.

Just be honest. You want to attract and connect with someone who knows and appreciates the real you. You can’t do that if you aren’t honest in your profile, or in conversations with potential matches.

2. Don’t Be Too Revealing

You’re just getting started with online dating and meeting people online. There’s no need to reveal too much personal information just yet.

Only share information that you feel comfortable sharing or that you’d share with someone you just met at a bar.

Most people on dating apps are there to meet other singles, but there are people who have bad intentions. Be careful about how much information you reveal. Don’t put all of your personal information out there right away.

If you want to meet someone in person, do it in a public place. They don’t need to know your address just yet. Protect yourself by keeping your personal information private for now.

3. Always Meet in Public Places

It should go without saying that you should always meet your matches in a public place where you feel safe. Have a designated friend that you can check in with throughout the night, and don’t be afraid to leave if you aren’t having a good time. Dating should be fun. It's okay to make an excuse and end the night early if you feel like the date is going nowhere.

4. Don’t Get Discouraged

It’s easy to get discouraged with online dating. You may have days or weeks when you scroll thought potential matches and find nothing that catches your eye. That’s okay. Online dating makes it easier to find and connect with people, but sometimes, there just aren’t any members that share your goals or interests available.

Give it time. Take a break if you have to, and don’t change your standards just because you can’t seem to find any matches right now.

5. Ask a Friend to Review and Edit Your Profile

Whether your goal is a long-term relationship or just to date around, your profile should reflect your true personality and your intentions. Sometimes, our judgment can get clouded when trying to build an online dating profile.

Have a trusted, honest friend review and edit your profile before it goes live. An honest friend will give you feedback and help you tweak your profile so that you present yourself in a genuine way.

While your friend is reviewing your profile, have him/her look for grammar and spelling errors. It may seem trivial, but you want your profile to be a positive reflection of yourself. Spelling and grammar errors may turn some people off.

6. You Don’t Have to Respond to Every Contact

When you receive a contact, you may feel obligated to respond. You don’t owe anyone anything. Politely declining and explaining why you don’t think you’d be a good fit will only waste your valuable time. Some online dating users don’t know how to take “no” for an answer, so responses may only give the wrong impression.

If a contact doesn’t interest you, it’s okay to ignore it.

7. Keep First Dates Brief

When making plans for a first date, aim for something quick and casual, like a coffee or drink. The idea of a grand first date may sound romantic, but it also puts a lot of pressure on both of you.

What if the other person looks nothing like his/her photos? What if the chemistry just isn’t there? You don’t want to feel forced to spend a big extravagant evening with someone you never met.

Take the pressure off. Meet for a cup of coffee or dessert. If there’s an event you’re both interested in, meet up, see how you feel about each other and go from there. If things don’t go as well as planned, it’s easy to cut things short without any hard feelings or making it awkward.

Also, give yourself a responsible “out” that you can use if necessary. Make plans with a friend for after the date. This gives you a valid excuse to duck out and leave if things aren’t going well.

8. Don’t Be Overly Eager

It’s natural to get excited about meeting someone you’re interested in. You may think about them throughout the day, and you may feel tempted to share what you’re up to. But it’s important not to be overly eager.

If you’re just getting to know someone, don’t message them more than once in a day. Although your intentions are good, you may come off as too eager and may give the other person cold feet.

When first reaching out to new matches, give them some time to respond. Don’t send multiple messages or worse, angry messages, asking them to respond. They may never respond. That’s okay. Don't take it too personally.

9. Keep it Positive and Avoid Clichés in Your Profile

When creating your profile, keep it positive and leave the clichés at the door. Think of your profile as your dating resume. Don’t lie, but don’t dwell on the negative. Keep it light, positive and interesting.

Sure, you may love walks on the beach or drinking wine by the fire, but so does everyone else. Add interesting conversation starters to your profile to stand out in the crowd.

10. Don't Just Post Selfies

Your online dating profile should have more than one photo and ideally, you should post more than just selfies. Share photos of you doing fun and interesting things with your friends. Post pictures that show off your personality and lifestyle. This will give potential matches a better look at who you are and whether you’d be a good fit together.

Don’t forget to include photos of you smiling. People want to see your big, beautiful smile. After all, happiness and positivity are major turn-ons.

Update your pictures and your profile regularly. Your life is constantly changing, and your dating profile should be a reflection of that.

The world of online dating is vast, and with millions of people all over the world using online dating apps, it’s a great time to give this dating style a try. Relationships enrich your life and improve your well-being. Online dating can help you find someone you connect with – all without having to spend your nights and weekends out trying to meet people.

The post Romantic Relationships: Why You Should Give Online Dating a Try appeared first on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.

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How Exercise Affects Your Mood? https://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/how-exercise-affects-your-mood/ https://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/how-exercise-affects-your-mood/#respond Wed, 05 Aug 2020 16:35:34 +0000 https://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/?p=81584

"It is exercise alone that supports the spirits, and keeps the mind in vigour."- Marcus Tullius Cicero

What is wellbeing?

Wellbeing is defined as ‘a positive physical, social and mental state’.

In this article, we are focusing on mental wellbeing. Mental wellbeing does not have a single universal definition, but it does encompass several factors such as:

  • The sense of feeling good about ourselves and being able to function well individually and/or even in relationships
  • The ability to deal with the ups and downs of life, such as coping with various challenges and making the most of such opportunities
  • The feeling of connection towards our community and surroundings
  • Having control and freedom over our respective lives
  • Having a sense of purpose and feeling valued for the same

Of course, mental wellbeing does not indicate being happy all the time, and it does not mean that you won’t experience negative or painful emotions, such as grief, loss, or failure, which are very much a part of normal life. However, whatever your age, being physically active can help you lead a mentally healthier life and can even improve your overall wellbeing.

What impact does physical activity have on wellbeing?

Physical activity has a huge potential to enhance our wellbeing. Even a short burst of 10 minutes’ brisk walking increases our mental alertness, energy and positive mood.

Participation in regular physical activity can increase our self-esteem and can reduce stress and anxiety. It also plays a role in preventing the development of mental health problems and in improving the quality of life of people experiencing mental health problems.

Exercise is a great way to improve your mood.  People who exercise regularly have fewer symptoms of depression and anxiety than those who don't.

To increase the benefits, try exercising outside.  Both aerobic exercise (such as walking, cycling or running) and strength training (such as weight lifting) can help treat depression.

Exercise can have an enormous impact on your mood. In fact, it is thought that exercise can be just as effective as anti-depressants in treating mild-to-moderate depression.

Not only can exercise help in treating depression, it can also prevent people from becoming depressed again. So it's important to keep up an exercise regimen after people get better.

We don't yet understand exercise and mood enough to know exactly which type of exercise is best - or how much - but what we do know is that it definitely has a positive effect.

We don't understand exactly why exercise is so good for improving mood conditions yet, but we do know that it works. 

 This may be due to a combination of reasons, including:

  • Exercise helps chronic depression by increasing serotonin (which helps your brain regulate mood, sleep and appetite) or brain-derived neurotrophic factor (which helps neurons to grow).
  • Exercise reduces immune system chemicals that can make depression worse.
  • Exercise increases your level of endorphins, which are natural mood lifters.
  • Exercise helps by getting your sleep patterns back to normal. We know getting enough sleep can protect the brain from damage.
  • Exercise gives you a focused activity that can help you feel a sense of accomplishment. 
  • Exercise limits the effect of stress on your brain.

How much of exercise is enough?

Doing 30 minutes or more of exercise a day for three to five days a week may significantly improve depression or anxiety symptoms. But smaller amounts of physical activity — as little as 10 to 15 minutes at a time — may even make a difference. It may take less time exercising to improve your mood when you do more-vigorous activities, such as running or bicycling.

The mental health benefits of exercise and physical activity may last only if you stick with it over the long term; another good reason to focus on finding activities that you enjoy.

Physical activity at different levels of intensity and its impact on people’s mood such as low-intensity aerobic exercise – for 30–35 minutes, 3–5 days a week, for 10–12 weeks – was best at increasing positive moods (e.g. enthusiasm, alertness).

Impact on our stress

When events occur that make us feel threatened or that upset our balance in some way, our body’s defences cut in and create a stress response, which may make us feel a variety of uncomfortable physical symptoms and make us behave differently, and we may also experience emotions more intensely.

The most common physical signs of stress include sleeping problems, sweating, and loss of appetite. Symptoms like these are triggered by a rush of stress hormones in our body – otherwise known as the ‘fight or flight’ response. It is these hormones, adrenaline and noradrenaline, which raise our blood pressure, increase our heart rate and increase the rate at which we perspire, preparing our body for an emergency response. They can also reduce blood flow to our skin and can reduce our stomach activity, while cortisol, another stress hormone, releases fat and sugar into the system to boost our energy.

Physical exercise can be very effective in relieving stress. Highly active individuals tend to have lower stress rates compared to individuals who are less active.

Impact on our self-esteem

Exercise not only has a positive impact on our physical health, but it can also increase our self-esteem. Self-esteem is how we feel about ourselves and how we perceive our self-worth. It is a key indicator of our mental wellbeing and our ability to cope with life stressors.

Physical activity has been shown to have a positive influence on our self-esteem and self-worth. This relationship has been found in children, adolescents, adults and older people, and across both males and females.

Impact on depression and anxiety

Physical activity can be an alternative treatment for depression. It can be used as a standalone treatment or in combination with medication and/or psychological therapy. It has few side effects and does not have the stigma that some people perceive to be attached to taking antidepressants or attending psychotherapy and counselling.

Physical activity can reduce levels of anxiety in people with mild symptoms and may also be helpful for treating clinical anxiety. Physical activity is available to all, has few costs attached, and is an empowering approach that can support self-management.

Better sleep
 You have trouble getting a good night’s sleep, exercise can help with that, too. Physical activity increases body temperature, which can have calming effects on the mind, leading to less sheep counting and more shuteye. Exercise also helps regulate your circadian rhythm, our bodies’ built-in alarm clock that controls when we feel tired and when we feel alert. (Although improved sleep is a psychological benefit of exercise, sleep experts recommend not exercising close to bedtime.)

Brain boost
Building intelligence to strengthening memory, exercise boosts brainpower in a number of different ways. Studies on mice and humans indicate that cardiovascular exercise creates new brain cells; a process called neurogenesis and improve overall brain performance. It also prevents cognitive decline and memory loss by strengthening the hippocampus, the part of the brain responsible for memory and learning. Studies also prove that physical activity boosts creativity and mental energy. So if you’re in need of inspiration, your big idea could be just a walk or jog away.

To Sum it up Impact on our mood

Physical activity has been shown to have a positive impact on our mood. A study asked people to rate their mood immediately after periods of physical activity (e.g. going for a walk or doing housework), and periods of inactivity (e.g. reading a book or watching television). Researchers found that the participants felt more content, more awake and calmer after being physically active compared to after periods of inactivity. They also found that the effect of physical activity on mood was greatest when mood was initially low.

      ‘Exercise not only changes your body, it changes your mind, your attitude and your mood.’


Trishna Patnaik, a BSc (in Life Sciences) and MBA (in Marketing) by qualification but an artist by choice. A self-taught artist based in Mumbai, Trishna has been practising art for over 14 years. After she had a professional stint in various reputed corporates, she realised that she wanted to do something more meaningful. She found her true calling in her passion that is painting. Trishna is now a full-time professional painter pursuing her passion to create and explore to the fullest. She says, "It’s a road less travelled but a journey that I look forward to everyday." Trishna also conducts painting workshops across Mumbai and other metropolitan cities of India. 

The post How Exercise Affects Your Mood? appeared first on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.

]]>

"It is exercise alone that supports the spirits, and keeps the mind in vigour."- Marcus Tullius Cicero

What is wellbeing?

Wellbeing is defined as ‘a positive physical, social and mental state’.

In this article, we are focusing on mental wellbeing. Mental wellbeing does not have a single universal definition, but it does encompass several factors such as:

  • The sense of feeling good about ourselves and being able to function well individually and/or even in relationships
  • The ability to deal with the ups and downs of life, such as coping with various challenges and making the most of such opportunities
  • The feeling of connection towards our community and surroundings
  • Having control and freedom over our respective lives
  • Having a sense of purpose and feeling valued for the same

Of course, mental wellbeing does not indicate being happy all the time, and it does not mean that you won’t experience negative or painful emotions, such as grief, loss, or failure, which are very much a part of normal life. However, whatever your age, being physically active can help you lead a mentally healthier life and can even improve your overall wellbeing.

What impact does physical activity have on wellbeing?

Physical activity has a huge potential to enhance our wellbeing. Even a short burst of 10 minutes’ brisk walking increases our mental alertness, energy and positive mood.

Participation in regular physical activity can increase our self-esteem and can reduce stress and anxiety. It also plays a role in preventing the development of mental health problems and in improving the quality of life of people experiencing mental health problems.

Exercise is a great way to improve your mood.  People who exercise regularly have fewer symptoms of depression and anxiety than those who don't.

To increase the benefits, try exercising outside.  Both aerobic exercise (such as walking, cycling or running) and strength training (such as weight lifting) can help treat depression.

Exercise can have an enormous impact on your mood. In fact, it is thought that exercise can be just as effective as anti-depressants in treating mild-to-moderate depression.

Not only can exercise help in treating depression, it can also prevent people from becoming depressed again. So it's important to keep up an exercise regimen after people get better.

We don't yet understand exercise and mood enough to know exactly which type of exercise is best - or how much - but what we do know is that it definitely has a positive effect.

We don't understand exactly why exercise is so good for improving mood conditions yet, but we do know that it works. 

 This may be due to a combination of reasons, including:

  • Exercise helps chronic depression by increasing serotonin (which helps your brain regulate mood, sleep and appetite) or brain-derived neurotrophic factor (which helps neurons to grow).
  • Exercise reduces immune system chemicals that can make depression worse.
  • Exercise increases your level of endorphins, which are natural mood lifters.
  • Exercise helps by getting your sleep patterns back to normal. We know getting enough sleep can protect the brain from damage.
  • Exercise gives you a focused activity that can help you feel a sense of accomplishment. 
  • Exercise limits the effect of stress on your brain.

How much of exercise is enough?

Doing 30 minutes or more of exercise a day for three to five days a week may significantly improve depression or anxiety symptoms. But smaller amounts of physical activity — as little as 10 to 15 minutes at a time — may even make a difference. It may take less time exercising to improve your mood when you do more-vigorous activities, such as running or bicycling.

The mental health benefits of exercise and physical activity may last only if you stick with it over the long term; another good reason to focus on finding activities that you enjoy.

Physical activity at different levels of intensity and its impact on people’s mood such as low-intensity aerobic exercise – for 30–35 minutes, 3–5 days a week, for 10–12 weeks – was best at increasing positive moods (e.g. enthusiasm, alertness).

Impact on our stress

When events occur that make us feel threatened or that upset our balance in some way, our body’s defences cut in and create a stress response, which may make us feel a variety of uncomfortable physical symptoms and make us behave differently, and we may also experience emotions more intensely.

The most common physical signs of stress include sleeping problems, sweating, and loss of appetite. Symptoms like these are triggered by a rush of stress hormones in our body – otherwise known as the ‘fight or flight’ response. It is these hormones, adrenaline and noradrenaline, which raise our blood pressure, increase our heart rate and increase the rate at which we perspire, preparing our body for an emergency response. They can also reduce blood flow to our skin and can reduce our stomach activity, while cortisol, another stress hormone, releases fat and sugar into the system to boost our energy.

Physical exercise can be very effective in relieving stress. Highly active individuals tend to have lower stress rates compared to individuals who are less active.

Impact on our self-esteem

Exercise not only has a positive impact on our physical health, but it can also increase our self-esteem. Self-esteem is how we feel about ourselves and how we perceive our self-worth. It is a key indicator of our mental wellbeing and our ability to cope with life stressors.

Physical activity has been shown to have a positive influence on our self-esteem and self-worth. This relationship has been found in children, adolescents, adults and older people, and across both males and females.

Impact on depression and anxiety

Physical activity can be an alternative treatment for depression. It can be used as a standalone treatment or in combination with medication and/or psychological therapy. It has few side effects and does not have the stigma that some people perceive to be attached to taking antidepressants or attending psychotherapy and counselling.

Physical activity can reduce levels of anxiety in people with mild symptoms and may also be helpful for treating clinical anxiety. Physical activity is available to all, has few costs attached, and is an empowering approach that can support self-management.

Better sleep
 You have trouble getting a good night’s sleep, exercise can help with that, too. Physical activity increases body temperature, which can have calming effects on the mind, leading to less sheep counting and more shuteye. Exercise also helps regulate your circadian rhythm, our bodies’ built-in alarm clock that controls when we feel tired and when we feel alert. (Although improved sleep is a psychological benefit of exercise, sleep experts recommend not exercising close to bedtime.)

Brain boost
Building intelligence to strengthening memory, exercise boosts brainpower in a number of different ways. Studies on mice and humans indicate that cardiovascular exercise creates new brain cells; a process called neurogenesis and improve overall brain performance. It also prevents cognitive decline and memory loss by strengthening the hippocampus, the part of the brain responsible for memory and learning. Studies also prove that physical activity boosts creativity and mental energy. So if you’re in need of inspiration, your big idea could be just a walk or jog away.

To Sum it up Impact on our mood

Physical activity has been shown to have a positive impact on our mood. A study asked people to rate their mood immediately after periods of physical activity (e.g. going for a walk or doing housework), and periods of inactivity (e.g. reading a book or watching television). Researchers found that the participants felt more content, more awake and calmer after being physically active compared to after periods of inactivity. They also found that the effect of physical activity on mood was greatest when mood was initially low.

      ‘Exercise not only changes your body, it changes your mind, your attitude and your mood.’


Trishna Patnaik, a BSc (in Life Sciences) and MBA (in Marketing) by qualification but an artist by choice. A self-taught artist based in Mumbai, Trishna has been practising art for over 14 years. After she had a professional stint in various reputed corporates, she realised that she wanted to do something more meaningful. She found her true calling in her passion that is painting. Trishna is now a full-time professional painter pursuing her passion to create and explore to the fullest. She says, "It’s a road less travelled but a journey that I look forward to everyday." Trishna also conducts painting workshops across Mumbai and other metropolitan cities of India. 

The post How Exercise Affects Your Mood? appeared first on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.

]]>
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23 Lessons for the Journey Called Life https://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/23-lessons-for-the-journey-called-life/ https://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/23-lessons-for-the-journey-called-life/#comments Mon, 03 Aug 2020 17:14:04 +0000 https://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/?p=81580

The toughest journey on this earth is not to Mount Everest and back! It is the journey of life itself. The reason that it’s so tough is because no one teaches us how to traverse it. It’s not taught to us in schools and colleges and it’s hardly ever taught to us at home. It is my strong belief that we can avoid a lot of heart wrenchingly painful experiences if we learn from other people’s mistakes along with our own. I guess that’s the reason so many of us read autobiographies and self-help books. I do too! And in this article, I am sharing with you some of my own life lessons!

These life-lessons are also shared in my book, Multiplex Diaries. It is the story of a young woman’s journey through her career, relationships and life in general. Her struggles and triumphs lead to her ultimate spiritual empowerment. The book takes a stand against bullying in the grown-up world and questions the basic work ethics of men and women in general. It narrates a story that’s more than a circumstantial romance and more than just office politics. It is a story of standing up for your beliefs and realising the power within. The e-book version is available for FREE on https://store.pothi.com/book/ebook-moushumi-roye-dutia-multiplex-diaries

You don’t need to blindly follow the life lessons I have listed below but do take a good look at them. These are not exclusive to me. I am sure that many of you have experienced the same. However, I made a note of them because I felt I needed to follow a trajectory that would lead me to my goal. My goal to reach you! Here they go:

LESSON#1: AVOID MAKING PROMISES YOU CANNOT KEEP.

 LESSON #2. YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO MAKE YOUR OWN MISTAKES!

LESSON #3: FOLLOW YOUR HEART WHEN MAKING IMPORTANT DECISIONS.

 LESSON #4: FORGET ABOUT “WHAT PEOPLE WILL SAY,” IT’S YOUR LIFE.

LESSON #5: NEVER LOOK BACK, JUST MOVE ON.

LESSON #6: NO ONE HAS THE RIGHT TO BULLY YOU JUST BECAUSE ‘RIGHT NOW’ YOU ARE A ‘NOBODY’.

LESSON #7: LEARN FROM NASTY PEOPLE, HOW NOT TO BE LIKE THEM.

LESSON #8: NO MATTER WHAT OTHERS TELL YOU, YOU DO HAVE A CHOICE.

LESSON #9: NOTHING IS A WASTE OF TIME… IN THE LONG RUN.

LESSON #10: THE ONE PERSON YOU MUST NEVER GIVE UP ON, IS YOURSELF.

LESSON #11: YOUR PERSONAL WELL BEING MUST COME FIRST. ALWAYS.

LESSON #12: WHEN ONE DOOR CLOSES, ANOTHER DOES OPEN, BUT YOU’VE GOT TO KNOCK ON PLENTY, BEFORE THAT HAPPENS.

LESSON #13: SET LIMITS ON HOW FAR YOU WILL GO TO SUCCEED. YOUR DIGNITY MATTERS, AS DOES YOUR COMMITMENT.

LESSON #14: FINANCIAL INDEPENDENCE IS IMPORTANT TO ONE’S FEELING OF SELF WORTH.

LESSON #15: QUITTING A LOT CAN GET YOU DOWN. AVOID IT.

LESSON #16: IT’S OFTEN WHEN YOU’VE ALMOST GIVEN UP THAT LIFE TURNS AROUND FOR THE BETTER, SO HOLD ON!

LESSON #17: MISTAKES ARE LIFE’S GREATEST STEPPING STONES TO SUCCESS.

LESSON #18: INSTEAD OF CHOOSING THE ‘SAFE THING TO DO,’ CHOOSE THE ‘RIGHT THING TO DO’.

LESSON #19: ONLY COURAGE CAN HELP YOU TURN DISASTER INTO TRIUMPH.

LESSON#20: WHEN ISOLATED IN CRISIS, KNOW THAT YOU ARE BEST MEANT, TO GO IT ALONE!

LESSON #21: YOU CAN GIVE POWER TO THE POWERLESS BY SPEAKING UP FOR THEM.

LESSON #22: THERE ARE MORE WAYS THAN ONE TO SOLVE A PROBLEM, BUT YOU HAVE TO BE READY TO TAKE THE RISK.

LESSON# 23: YOU CAN EITHER BE YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND OR WORST ENEMY. CHOOSE WISELY.

Posted by Moushumi Roye Dutia

The post 23 Lessons for the Journey Called Life appeared first on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.

]]>

The toughest journey on this earth is not to Mount Everest and back! It is the journey of life itself. The reason that it’s so tough is because no one teaches us how to traverse it. It’s not taught to us in schools and colleges and it’s hardly ever taught to us at home. It is my strong belief that we can avoid a lot of heart wrenchingly painful experiences if we learn from other people’s mistakes along with our own. I guess that’s the reason so many of us read autobiographies and self-help books. I do too! And in this article, I am sharing with you some of my own life lessons!

These life-lessons are also shared in my book, Multiplex Diaries. It is the story of a young woman’s journey through her career, relationships and life in general. Her struggles and triumphs lead to her ultimate spiritual empowerment. The book takes a stand against bullying in the grown-up world and questions the basic work ethics of men and women in general. It narrates a story that’s more than a circumstantial romance and more than just office politics. It is a story of standing up for your beliefs and realising the power within. The e-book version is available for FREE on https://store.pothi.com/book/ebook-moushumi-roye-dutia-multiplex-diaries

You don’t need to blindly follow the life lessons I have listed below but do take a good look at them. These are not exclusive to me. I am sure that many of you have experienced the same. However, I made a note of them because I felt I needed to follow a trajectory that would lead me to my goal. My goal to reach you! Here they go:

LESSON#1: AVOID MAKING PROMISES YOU CANNOT KEEP.

 LESSON #2. YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO MAKE YOUR OWN MISTAKES!

LESSON #3: FOLLOW YOUR HEART WHEN MAKING IMPORTANT DECISIONS.

 LESSON #4: FORGET ABOUT “WHAT PEOPLE WILL SAY,” IT’S YOUR LIFE.

LESSON #5: NEVER LOOK BACK, JUST MOVE ON.

LESSON #6: NO ONE HAS THE RIGHT TO BULLY YOU JUST BECAUSE ‘RIGHT NOW’ YOU ARE A ‘NOBODY’.

LESSON #7: LEARN FROM NASTY PEOPLE, HOW NOT TO BE LIKE THEM.

LESSON #8: NO MATTER WHAT OTHERS TELL YOU, YOU DO HAVE A CHOICE.

LESSON #9: NOTHING IS A WASTE OF TIME… IN THE LONG RUN.

LESSON #10: THE ONE PERSON YOU MUST NEVER GIVE UP ON, IS YOURSELF.

LESSON #11: YOUR PERSONAL WELL BEING MUST COME FIRST. ALWAYS.

LESSON #12: WHEN ONE DOOR CLOSES, ANOTHER DOES OPEN, BUT YOU’VE GOT TO KNOCK ON PLENTY, BEFORE THAT HAPPENS.

LESSON #13: SET LIMITS ON HOW FAR YOU WILL GO TO SUCCEED. YOUR DIGNITY MATTERS, AS DOES YOUR COMMITMENT.

LESSON #14: FINANCIAL INDEPENDENCE IS IMPORTANT TO ONE’S FEELING OF SELF WORTH.

LESSON #15: QUITTING A LOT CAN GET YOU DOWN. AVOID IT.

LESSON #16: IT’S OFTEN WHEN YOU’VE ALMOST GIVEN UP THAT LIFE TURNS AROUND FOR THE BETTER, SO HOLD ON!

LESSON #17: MISTAKES ARE LIFE’S GREATEST STEPPING STONES TO SUCCESS.

LESSON #18: INSTEAD OF CHOOSING THE ‘SAFE THING TO DO,’ CHOOSE THE ‘RIGHT THING TO DO’.

LESSON #19: ONLY COURAGE CAN HELP YOU TURN DISASTER INTO TRIUMPH.

LESSON#20: WHEN ISOLATED IN CRISIS, KNOW THAT YOU ARE BEST MEANT, TO GO IT ALONE!

LESSON #21: YOU CAN GIVE POWER TO THE POWERLESS BY SPEAKING UP FOR THEM.

LESSON #22: THERE ARE MORE WAYS THAN ONE TO SOLVE A PROBLEM, BUT YOU HAVE TO BE READY TO TAKE THE RISK.

LESSON# 23: YOU CAN EITHER BE YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND OR WORST ENEMY. CHOOSE WISELY.

Posted by Moushumi Roye Dutia

The post 23 Lessons for the Journey Called Life appeared first on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.

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4 Steps to Financial Independence https://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/4-steps-to-financial-independence/ https://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/4-steps-to-financial-independence/#comments Mon, 03 Aug 2020 00:14:50 +0000 https://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/?p=81563

Most people want financial independence. Financial independence means that you do not have to rely on your day job to pay all your bills. You can take time off of work if you want to without worry about finances. Often, people assume that this means that you are looking to retire early, but that isn’t necessarily the case.

Many people choose to become financially dependent when they have no intention of retiring. A lot can come up in life. You never know what is going to happen next. What happens if you or a loved one has an illness that you need to take care of? Not only will you have medical bills to account for, but you need to take time off of work. Can you comfortably leave your job and not worry about your finances? If not, you need to pay attention to the following tips to pursue financial independence.

Know Why You Want to Be Financially Independent

Why do you want to be financially independent? There are a lot of reasons why you should be. When you are financially independent, you are no longer stuck at a job that you do not want. You can choose a job that you love without worrying about when you are going to be promoted or when your next raise is going to be. This is the best way to be able to leave behind a legacy and to also enjoy your life.

Understand Your Current Financial Situation

Financial independence does not happen overnight. To understand your financial situation, you need to look at it reasonably. Consider your monthly income, your debts and how much you spend on a daily or weekly basis. Do not look at your finances with rose-colored glasses. This is the time to write everything down and to have a clear picture of your financial health. You may even want to consider a financial advisor to help you figure out your overall financial picture. Once you understand your situation, you can start on the next steps.

Pay Off Your Debts

Debt can make it difficult to be financially independent. It is up to you to pay off all of your debts. This may not be easy and it may take time to pay off all of your debt. Make sure that you list all of your debts and try to come up with a plan to pay all of your debt in a timely way. This may mean paying more money to one credit card than another until it is paid off. If you have to forego vacation or other recreational activities, you should consider saving money to pay off your debts.

Determine Your Lifelong Goals

What are your financial goals? Where do you see yourself in the next ten or twenty years? You need to have a picture of your life and your finances to know what steps to take to reach those goals. Also, you may want to make sure that you have a life insurance policy or a IRC 7702 plan. These are not retirement funds but instead life insurance policies with tax advantages.

If you know what you want, then it is time to work on it. Of course, that might be easier said than done. It is important to look at your present situation and your financial goals and figure out how you can move from one point to the other. How can you reach your financial goals from where you are right now? Do not overwhelm yourself by focusing too hard on how long it will take you. The point is that you begin the process.

If you are ready to be financially independent, there are a lot of steps that you need to take. When it comes down to it, there are a lot of reasons why a person should pursue financial independence. There is no such thing as job security and you could easily find yourself in a hard situation in the future. Without financial security, you may not know what to do.

The post 4 Steps to Financial Independence appeared first on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.

]]>

Most people want financial independence. Financial independence means that you do not have to rely on your day job to pay all your bills. You can take time off of work if you want to without worry about finances. Often, people assume that this means that you are looking to retire early, but that isn’t necessarily the case.

Many people choose to become financially dependent when they have no intention of retiring. A lot can come up in life. You never know what is going to happen next. What happens if you or a loved one has an illness that you need to take care of? Not only will you have medical bills to account for, but you need to take time off of work. Can you comfortably leave your job and not worry about your finances? If not, you need to pay attention to the following tips to pursue financial independence.

Know Why You Want to Be Financially Independent

Why do you want to be financially independent? There are a lot of reasons why you should be. When you are financially independent, you are no longer stuck at a job that you do not want. You can choose a job that you love without worrying about when you are going to be promoted or when your next raise is going to be. This is the best way to be able to leave behind a legacy and to also enjoy your life.

Understand Your Current Financial Situation

Financial independence does not happen overnight. To understand your financial situation, you need to look at it reasonably. Consider your monthly income, your debts and how much you spend on a daily or weekly basis. Do not look at your finances with rose-colored glasses. This is the time to write everything down and to have a clear picture of your financial health. You may even want to consider a financial advisor to help you figure out your overall financial picture. Once you understand your situation, you can start on the next steps.

Pay Off Your Debts

Debt can make it difficult to be financially independent. It is up to you to pay off all of your debts. This may not be easy and it may take time to pay off all of your debt. Make sure that you list all of your debts and try to come up with a plan to pay all of your debt in a timely way. This may mean paying more money to one credit card than another until it is paid off. If you have to forego vacation or other recreational activities, you should consider saving money to pay off your debts.

Determine Your Lifelong Goals

What are your financial goals? Where do you see yourself in the next ten or twenty years? You need to have a picture of your life and your finances to know what steps to take to reach those goals. Also, you may want to make sure that you have a life insurance policy or a IRC 7702 plan. These are not retirement funds but instead life insurance policies with tax advantages.

If you know what you want, then it is time to work on it. Of course, that might be easier said than done. It is important to look at your present situation and your financial goals and figure out how you can move from one point to the other. How can you reach your financial goals from where you are right now? Do not overwhelm yourself by focusing too hard on how long it will take you. The point is that you begin the process.

If you are ready to be financially independent, there are a lot of steps that you need to take. When it comes down to it, there are a lot of reasons why a person should pursue financial independence. There is no such thing as job security and you could easily find yourself in a hard situation in the future. Without financial security, you may not know what to do.

The post 4 Steps to Financial Independence appeared first on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.

]]>
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My Journey from Fear to Love https://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/my-journey-from-fear-to-love/ https://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/my-journey-from-fear-to-love/#respond Thu, 30 Jul 2020 18:08:16 +0000 https://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/?p=81538

"Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end." – John Lennon

January - 2012

I remember sitting in a small dark room waiting for the surgeon to arrive.

My son had just had major surgery, and it had taken much longer than expected.

My stomach felt tense as the surgeon sat in the chair opposite us.

He looks at the floor as he started to speak.

"it's not good news," he said.

"We think he has a week left to live."

After that, my mind switched off. I felt my wife's head on my shoulder and heard her tears.

Was it a bad dream?

June – 2017

My feet feel heavy as I am nervously walking towards the divorce court.

12 years has come to an end, and it's time to let her go. I know I did my best, but somehow, we lost each other. Both stuck in our own pain.

As I stand outside the court in a small, smelly room waiting for the hearing, my thoughts drift back.

May – 1988

I am in the hallway after school, surrounded by 3 bigger guys.

They are laughing at me and pushing me. I know what's coming, and I can feel my heartbeat increasing, and my stomach feels tense.

I wish I could be anywhere else, but here, but there is no way out. I am surrounded.

I fell the kick in my chest as I fall to the floor and struggle to breathe. A few more punches and I hear their voices walking away.

I get up embarrassed and in pain, but I pretend I am okay. I remember what I have learned. Never show weakness…

August – 1998

This reminds me of something I have experienced before. I am in a harbor surrounded by 3 big guys with tattoos down their arms and neck.

I don't see the guy that has circled me, and suddenly I feel the punch on my ear. I drop to the floor.

Slowly get up and say, "are we done."

I get kicked in the stomach and fly backward.

Slowly get up and ask, "are we done."

And another round.

I should not show any emotions. That is how I survive.

I know this game…

June – 2017

I hear a voice and snap out of my thoughts.

It's the court lady, and she says the hearing is canceled.

As I get on the London underground, I close my eyes and drift off again…..

March - 2014

This is where it started.

He is an optimistic, energetic Italian scientist, and he is my only hope.

I tell him the story of my son and that only the treatment he is researching can save my boy.

He tells me that we need to raise $7.5 million to do the research.

He looks at me in disbelieve as I say, "okay, I will get that."

Whatever it takes to save my little boy…

June – 2017

I finally got home from the court.

I am looking out the window, and despite everything I have achieved, I feel empty.

My son is still here 5 years later, and we managed to raise $8 million. I have many friends, and I had a business with 50 staff that I build from scratch.

So why do I feel so empty?

I know the answer but am afraid to admit it because I am a man. I am strong, and I don't need anyone.

I had survived violent confrontations, built a business from nothing, helped save my boy when he was given no chance, I am helping to innovate medical science, and I have fought and won legal battles against our national health service…

I know I am strong, but I feel alone. Disconnected from others.

Suddenly I realize that I have made myself alone. Because I learned to only count on myself and to never show vulnerability.

I google vulnerability and find Brene Brown's TED talk, and suddenly I realize I have lived my entire life in fear. In survival mode.

While survival is essential and served me at a time in life, it's not really living.

But somehow being vulnerable and depending on other's feel scarier than a fistfight. Scarier than death…

So, I know what I have to do. I have to let my protective angle go as he is no longer needed, and he is holding me back from living.

I sign up for a course over the summer and jump on a plane to San Francisco.

All these hippies are scary.

They are so relaxed with touch.

It makes me uncomfortable.

They share things and cry, making my stomach cringe because I am terrified of having to do the same.

I want everyone to see how strong and manly I am.

It's circle time. Oh, I hate these. And, this time we have to share vulnerability with the group.

I am praying that someone will burst through the door and shoot me. It's America, after all. But to my despair, nothing happens.

As it becomes my turn, I am still alive. F…

I can feel I am shaking.

I tell the group about my son and the long dark nights I would stand and cry in the living room, scared to my core that he would not be alive the next day.

I never used to let anyone see me cry as they had to think I had it all together. But I was scared, so scared.

I finally break down and cry in front of the group. I cry like a baby.

They all look at me with love and compassion. They even seem more connected to me, and I feel more connected to them.

Something has happened that I have never experience before. I don't even know these people, yet they now know me better than my ex-wife, family, or childhood friends.

I feel I can finally be me. Strong and vulnerable.

I get a friend of mine who is a masseuse to give me a gentle massage on my stomach and chest as I know how much I dislike touch there.

I don't know why, but I can feel my body being tense and resisting.

I close my eyes and slowly let go. As I let the tension go, I can feel a little hurt and violated child inside me cry, and I let it. I am in hippie land now, so why now?

Something extraordinary happens. I am enjoying the touch. Yes, I really like it.

It no longer feels irritating. As I leave the course, I realize touch is one of my love languages, and I can't get enough.

Who knew that summer would change my life?

My friendships, my relationships, everything has changed since I came home.

I found the missing formula to intimacy and love, towards myself and others.

And it's not complicated. It just takes courage.

Like a plant needs air, water, and sun to grow, love requires safety, vulnerability, and acceptance.

I found the force. May the force be with you.


Thomas is an accomplished writer and blogger at Zen Sensa. You can see more of his work here and can connect with him, socially, here.

The post My Journey from Fear to Love appeared first on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.

]]>

"Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end." – John Lennon

January - 2012

I remember sitting in a small dark room waiting for the surgeon to arrive.

My son had just had major surgery, and it had taken much longer than expected.

My stomach felt tense as the surgeon sat in the chair opposite us.

He looks at the floor as he started to speak.

"it's not good news," he said.

"We think he has a week left to live."

After that, my mind switched off. I felt my wife's head on my shoulder and heard her tears.

Was it a bad dream?

June – 2017

My feet feel heavy as I am nervously walking towards the divorce court.

12 years has come to an end, and it's time to let her go. I know I did my best, but somehow, we lost each other. Both stuck in our own pain.

As I stand outside the court in a small, smelly room waiting for the hearing, my thoughts drift back.

May – 1988

I am in the hallway after school, surrounded by 3 bigger guys.

They are laughing at me and pushing me. I know what's coming, and I can feel my heartbeat increasing, and my stomach feels tense.

I wish I could be anywhere else, but here, but there is no way out. I am surrounded.

I fell the kick in my chest as I fall to the floor and struggle to breathe. A few more punches and I hear their voices walking away.

I get up embarrassed and in pain, but I pretend I am okay. I remember what I have learned. Never show weakness…

August – 1998

This reminds me of something I have experienced before. I am in a harbor surrounded by 3 big guys with tattoos down their arms and neck.

I don't see the guy that has circled me, and suddenly I feel the punch on my ear. I drop to the floor.

Slowly get up and say, "are we done."

I get kicked in the stomach and fly backward.

Slowly get up and ask, "are we done."

And another round.

I should not show any emotions. That is how I survive.

I know this game…

June – 2017

I hear a voice and snap out of my thoughts.

It's the court lady, and she says the hearing is canceled.

As I get on the London underground, I close my eyes and drift off again…..

March - 2014

This is where it started.

He is an optimistic, energetic Italian scientist, and he is my only hope.

I tell him the story of my son and that only the treatment he is researching can save my boy.

He tells me that we need to raise $7.5 million to do the research.

He looks at me in disbelieve as I say, "okay, I will get that."

Whatever it takes to save my little boy…

June – 2017

I finally got home from the court.

I am looking out the window, and despite everything I have achieved, I feel empty.

My son is still here 5 years later, and we managed to raise $8 million. I have many friends, and I had a business with 50 staff that I build from scratch.

So why do I feel so empty?

I know the answer but am afraid to admit it because I am a man. I am strong, and I don't need anyone.

I had survived violent confrontations, built a business from nothing, helped save my boy when he was given no chance, I am helping to innovate medical science, and I have fought and won legal battles against our national health service…

I know I am strong, but I feel alone. Disconnected from others.

Suddenly I realize that I have made myself alone. Because I learned to only count on myself and to never show vulnerability.

I google vulnerability and find Brene Brown's TED talk, and suddenly I realize I have lived my entire life in fear. In survival mode.

While survival is essential and served me at a time in life, it's not really living.

But somehow being vulnerable and depending on other's feel scarier than a fistfight. Scarier than death…

So, I know what I have to do. I have to let my protective angle go as he is no longer needed, and he is holding me back from living.

I sign up for a course over the summer and jump on a plane to San Francisco.

All these hippies are scary.

They are so relaxed with touch.

It makes me uncomfortable.

They share things and cry, making my stomach cringe because I am terrified of having to do the same.

I want everyone to see how strong and manly I am.

It's circle time. Oh, I hate these. And, this time we have to share vulnerability with the group.

I am praying that someone will burst through the door and shoot me. It's America, after all. But to my despair, nothing happens.

As it becomes my turn, I am still alive. F…

I can feel I am shaking.

I tell the group about my son and the long dark nights I would stand and cry in the living room, scared to my core that he would not be alive the next day.

I never used to let anyone see me cry as they had to think I had it all together. But I was scared, so scared.

I finally break down and cry in front of the group. I cry like a baby.

They all look at me with love and compassion. They even seem more connected to me, and I feel more connected to them.

Something has happened that I have never experience before. I don't even know these people, yet they now know me better than my ex-wife, family, or childhood friends.

I feel I can finally be me. Strong and vulnerable.

I get a friend of mine who is a masseuse to give me a gentle massage on my stomach and chest as I know how much I dislike touch there.

I don't know why, but I can feel my body being tense and resisting.

I close my eyes and slowly let go. As I let the tension go, I can feel a little hurt and violated child inside me cry, and I let it. I am in hippie land now, so why now?

Something extraordinary happens. I am enjoying the touch. Yes, I really like it.

It no longer feels irritating. As I leave the course, I realize touch is one of my love languages, and I can't get enough.

Who knew that summer would change my life?

My friendships, my relationships, everything has changed since I came home.

I found the missing formula to intimacy and love, towards myself and others.

And it's not complicated. It just takes courage.

Like a plant needs air, water, and sun to grow, love requires safety, vulnerability, and acceptance.

I found the force. May the force be with you.


Thomas is an accomplished writer and blogger at Zen Sensa. You can see more of his work here and can connect with him, socially, here.

The post My Journey from Fear to Love appeared first on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.

]]>
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7 Tricks To Effortlessly Improve Memory Power https://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/7-tricks-to-effortlessly-improve-memory-power/ https://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/7-tricks-to-effortlessly-improve-memory-power/#comments Tue, 28 Jul 2020 20:18:14 +0000 https://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/?p=67964

Lack of memory or difficulty in remembering information is rarely linked to diseases of the nervous system such as Alzheimer's, a common problem also in young people and adults. However, it is possible to improve memory power and ability to compile information by using techniques that facilitate access to memory and increase the number of connections made by the brain, which facilitates learning and increases performance in studies and work.

Our brains are exceptionally flexible. This is in contrast to what people have long thought. Scientists are talking about the 'plasticity' of our brains. In the course of evolution, our brain has developed so that we can survive in a constantly evolving world. The emergence of new communication technologies such as the internet has changed our lives considerably.

The amount of information that comes to us every day and the speed with which we have to process this information continues to grow. What is front-page news today will be obsolete tomorrow? The industrial society has given way to the knowledge society. Very important here is learning to search, select and use information. This requires new, complex skills from our brains.

If you train your brain intensively and correctly, you can keep it in top shape effortlessly! So poke all your brain cells to read our 7 tips to improve memory power and store them deep in your brain!

Always learn something new

Always striving to learn something new is to stimulate the brain to make new connections between neurons and to learn new ways of thinking and reasoning. The ideal is to participate in an activity that you have not mastered, to leave the comfort zone and bring new stimuli to your mind.

Starting a long process, such as learning to play an instrument or speaking a new language, is a good way to improve memory power because it is possible to start at simpler levels that progress as the brain develops the new skills.

Take notes

Taking notes during a lesson, meeting or lecture increases the capacity of our memory to help restore the information in the mind.

When you listen to something, automatically write and read as you write, the number of times the brain receives that information increases, making learning easier and easier.

Don't forget

Remembering is one of the most important tools to stimulate memory, as it activates the ability to teach yourself something new and to stay in touch with the new information.

So when you read or study something that you want to restore, close the notebook or take your eyes off the information and remember what you just read or heard. Do the same after a few hours and repeat the process during the days, as you will soon find that it is becoming easier to access the information in the mind.

Review information regularly

To learn something new, it is often necessary to reread or retrain information in the case of physical or manual skills, such as learning to play an instrument or drawing.

This is because studying a new topic just a day before the test or accessing information only once causes the brain to quickly interpret the information as irrelevant, and to remove it from memory in the long term.

This discourages memory and reduces learning capacity because everything comes in and out of the brain quickly.

Exercise

Regular exercise, especially aerobic exercises such as walking, swimming or running, increases the oxygenation of the brain and prevents diseases that affect the health of the nervous system, such as diabetes and high blood pressure.

In addition, exercise reduces stress and increases the production of growth factors that stimulate the production of new connections between neurons, making access to memory faster and easier.

Sleep well

Most adults need 7 to 9 hours of sleep to rest well and restore all functions of the nervous system. Little sleep causes less memory, creativity, critical capacity, and problem-solving capacity.

It is during the deeper sleep stages that toxic substances are removed from the brain and that long-term memory is solid and consolidated, so small naps or interrupted sleep are often harmful to a good memory. See what happens to the body if we don't sleep well.

Have an active social life

When you improve memory power, it not only stimulates the mind with difficult activities, because relaxation and an active social life reduces stress, stimulates learning and increases reasoning and argumentation skills.

That is why it is important to regularly review friends, family or hold a long conversation on the phone to keep social life active. In addition, having a pet also helps to activate the brain and increase memory power. Feeding is also an important part of brain health, so don't forget to feed your brain with all the essential nutrients that it requires.

The post 7 Tricks To Effortlessly Improve Memory Power appeared first on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.

]]>

Lack of memory or difficulty in remembering information is rarely linked to diseases of the nervous system such as Alzheimer's, a common problem also in young people and adults. However, it is possible to improve memory power and ability to compile information by using techniques that facilitate access to memory and increase the number of connections made by the brain, which facilitates learning and increases performance in studies and work.

Our brains are exceptionally flexible. This is in contrast to what people have long thought. Scientists are talking about the 'plasticity' of our brains. In the course of evolution, our brain has developed so that we can survive in a constantly evolving world. The emergence of new communication technologies such as the internet has changed our lives considerably.

The amount of information that comes to us every day and the speed with which we have to process this information continues to grow. What is front-page news today will be obsolete tomorrow? The industrial society has given way to the knowledge society. Very important here is learning to search, select and use information. This requires new, complex skills from our brains.

If you train your brain intensively and correctly, you can keep it in top shape effortlessly! So poke all your brain cells to read our 7 tips to improve memory power and store them deep in your brain!

Always learn something new

Always striving to learn something new is to stimulate the brain to make new connections between neurons and to learn new ways of thinking and reasoning. The ideal is to participate in an activity that you have not mastered, to leave the comfort zone and bring new stimuli to your mind.

Starting a long process, such as learning to play an instrument or speaking a new language, is a good way to improve memory power because it is possible to start at simpler levels that progress as the brain develops the new skills.

Take notes

Taking notes during a lesson, meeting or lecture increases the capacity of our memory to help restore the information in the mind.

When you listen to something, automatically write and read as you write, the number of times the brain receives that information increases, making learning easier and easier.

Don't forget

Remembering is one of the most important tools to stimulate memory, as it activates the ability to teach yourself something new and to stay in touch with the new information.

So when you read or study something that you want to restore, close the notebook or take your eyes off the information and remember what you just read or heard. Do the same after a few hours and repeat the process during the days, as you will soon find that it is becoming easier to access the information in the mind.

Review information regularly

To learn something new, it is often necessary to reread or retrain information in the case of physical or manual skills, such as learning to play an instrument or drawing.

This is because studying a new topic just a day before the test or accessing information only once causes the brain to quickly interpret the information as irrelevant, and to remove it from memory in the long term.

This discourages memory and reduces learning capacity because everything comes in and out of the brain quickly.

Exercise

Regular exercise, especially aerobic exercises such as walking, swimming or running, increases the oxygenation of the brain and prevents diseases that affect the health of the nervous system, such as diabetes and high blood pressure.

In addition, exercise reduces stress and increases the production of growth factors that stimulate the production of new connections between neurons, making access to memory faster and easier.

Sleep well

Most adults need 7 to 9 hours of sleep to rest well and restore all functions of the nervous system. Little sleep causes less memory, creativity, critical capacity, and problem-solving capacity.

It is during the deeper sleep stages that toxic substances are removed from the brain and that long-term memory is solid and consolidated, so small naps or interrupted sleep are often harmful to a good memory. See what happens to the body if we don't sleep well.

Have an active social life

When you improve memory power, it not only stimulates the mind with difficult activities, because relaxation and an active social life reduces stress, stimulates learning and increases reasoning and argumentation skills.

That is why it is important to regularly review friends, family or hold a long conversation on the phone to keep social life active. In addition, having a pet also helps to activate the brain and increase memory power. Feeding is also an important part of brain health, so don't forget to feed your brain with all the essential nutrients that it requires.

The post 7 Tricks To Effortlessly Improve Memory Power appeared first on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.

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Why Practical Skills Matter More Than A College Degree https://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/why-practical-skills-matter-more-than-a-college-degree/ https://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/why-practical-skills-matter-more-than-a-college-degree/#comments Mon, 27 Jul 2020 20:49:03 +0000 https://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/?p=81491

There are various instances that one might come across where hands-on experience and practical knowledge can exceed bookish information. Likewise, teaching someone to drive or swim within the confines of four walls seems illogical. No doubt one must read through the manual but the fact that practical application supersedes knowledge presented in books is undeniable.

According to a recent study by YouGov®, 8% of young British people from the ages 18-24% don’t know how to use a washing machine, 69% don’t know how to bleed a radiator, and 54% can’t even replace a fuse plug.

Ignorance is not bliss; the youth needs practical knowledge to assist them in both their personal and professional lives.

Let’s take a quick look at some of the ways thatnpractical skills can matter more than a college degree.

Why Practical Skills Matter More For College Students

Here are five things that will help you to decide what’s more important in the new economy- degree or practical skills?

1.   Application Of Knowledge

As mentioned earlier, the knowledge presented in manuscripts is no doubt important as they are able to bring greater awareness about new subjects, themes, concepts and ideas shared by successful people. However, the development of practical skills goes well beyond that level of information inscribed in textbooks. It allows a person actually to apply what they have learned in real-life situations.

That is why a recipe lying on a kitchen slab and the ability to cook a meal is immensely different from each other. A student who is enthusiastic about nursing and the one who can actually apply medical support to save lives is a world apart from each other.

2.   Build Confidence

The thing about practical skills is that you are able to use them whenever a situation arises. This allows a person to build their confidence as they become less reliant on others for help and assistance. Hence if they come across a challenging situation, they can make use of their self-efficacies to overcome hurdles.

Take the example of a person who wishes to traverse through the Amazon jungle and has read every book to date about the harshness of conditions within a forest. On the other hand, compare them with a person who has been serving as a professional tour guide for several years.

Without a question when it comes to survival, the practical knowledge and skills acquired by the tour guide will ensure that both of them manage to seek safety when the push comes to shove.

3.   Complementing Theory

There are theories and hypothesis presented in the curriculum or a syllabus for students to test them out, and then there is the actual information that a student gathers from practical work.

While books and resource materials can definitely broaden the thinking capacity of students, it is when they apply that knowledge which instantly makes them reach a whole new level of competency.

Many businesses these days are looking for young and inspiring individuals who apart from their professional qualification have some tangible results or projects to show for themselves. A person who delivers on the knowledge required to complete a set of tasks is hence favored more than an outstanding student with little to no practical experience.

4.   Experiential Learning

In recent times a lot of emphases is being made primarily by parents in the USA to ask schools to convey practical skills and knowledge. Experiential learning is one method through which students and teachers can interact and engage themselves in conducive environments that encourage learning and application of concepts.

Students are requested to perform hands-on tasks which allow them to interact with objects and subjects in their surroundings to deliver real-world results. Students do make mistakes, but they become valuable to the learning process.

Why? Because it enables them to understand the errors in their judgment and make improvements in the upcoming assignment.

A lot of students nowadays consider reaching to a professional assignment writing service to free time on their hand. This allows them to utilize their time on more important projects and undertakings.    

5.   Self-Improvement 

Through experiential learning, students learn from their past mistakes which prevents them from repeating the same mistake. Practical skills and their applications also work in the same manner.

Where if one thing goes wrong, it is able to instantly provide valuable feedback for the practitioner to look for other means to resolve the problem or find another approach to deal with a current issue or concern.

This thus becomes a never-ending learning process where the more knowledge you practice in real-life situations, the more perfection you are able to achieve in each attempt. 

Conclusion

Apart from objectifying results and requirements, practical skills also help in developing social skills and improve the interactions of students with other people. While books and curriculum may at times, isolate students from what is actually out there, the practical application takes them closer to a real-world scenario where they themselves can acquire knowledge and realize how it is implemented.

I hope this post was able to offer you some meaningful insights regarding how practical skills matter a lot, not only in your daily life but also when it comes to your career and professional circle. For more questions, leave a mention in the comment section below.


Claudia Jeffrey currently works as a Research Analyst at Crowd Writer, the best platform for college students to buy cheap assignment writing service from assignment specialists. During her free time, she likes to try out oriental cuisine and recipes for loved ones at home.

The post Why Practical Skills Matter More Than A College Degree appeared first on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.

]]>

There are various instances that one might come across where hands-on experience and practical knowledge can exceed bookish information. Likewise, teaching someone to drive or swim within the confines of four walls seems illogical. No doubt one must read through the manual but the fact that practical application supersedes knowledge presented in books is undeniable.

According to a recent study by YouGov®, 8% of young British people from the ages 18-24% don’t know how to use a washing machine, 69% don’t know how to bleed a radiator, and 54% can’t even replace a fuse plug.

Ignorance is not bliss; the youth needs practical knowledge to assist them in both their personal and professional lives.

Let’s take a quick look at some of the ways thatnpractical skills can matter more than a college degree.

Why Practical Skills Matter More For College Students

Here are five things that will help you to decide what’s more important in the new economy- degree or practical skills?

1.   Application Of Knowledge

As mentioned earlier, the knowledge presented in manuscripts is no doubt important as they are able to bring greater awareness about new subjects, themes, concepts and ideas shared by successful people. However, the development of practical skills goes well beyond that level of information inscribed in textbooks. It allows a person actually to apply what they have learned in real-life situations.

That is why a recipe lying on a kitchen slab and the ability to cook a meal is immensely different from each other. A student who is enthusiastic about nursing and the one who can actually apply medical support to save lives is a world apart from each other.

2.   Build Confidence

The thing about practical skills is that you are able to use them whenever a situation arises. This allows a person to build their confidence as they become less reliant on others for help and assistance. Hence if they come across a challenging situation, they can make use of their self-efficacies to overcome hurdles.

Take the example of a person who wishes to traverse through the Amazon jungle and has read every book to date about the harshness of conditions within a forest. On the other hand, compare them with a person who has been serving as a professional tour guide for several years.

Without a question when it comes to survival, the practical knowledge and skills acquired by the tour guide will ensure that both of them manage to seek safety when the push comes to shove.

3.   Complementing Theory

There are theories and hypothesis presented in the curriculum or a syllabus for students to test them out, and then there is the actual information that a student gathers from practical work.

While books and resource materials can definitely broaden the thinking capacity of students, it is when they apply that knowledge which instantly makes them reach a whole new level of competency.

Many businesses these days are looking for young and inspiring individuals who apart from their professional qualification have some tangible results or projects to show for themselves. A person who delivers on the knowledge required to complete a set of tasks is hence favored more than an outstanding student with little to no practical experience.

4.   Experiential Learning

In recent times a lot of emphases is being made primarily by parents in the USA to ask schools to convey practical skills and knowledge. Experiential learning is one method through which students and teachers can interact and engage themselves in conducive environments that encourage learning and application of concepts.

Students are requested to perform hands-on tasks which allow them to interact with objects and subjects in their surroundings to deliver real-world results. Students do make mistakes, but they become valuable to the learning process.

Why? Because it enables them to understand the errors in their judgment and make improvements in the upcoming assignment.

A lot of students nowadays consider reaching to a professional assignment writing service to free time on their hand. This allows them to utilize their time on more important projects and undertakings.    

5.   Self-Improvement 

Through experiential learning, students learn from their past mistakes which prevents them from repeating the same mistake. Practical skills and their applications also work in the same manner.

Where if one thing goes wrong, it is able to instantly provide valuable feedback for the practitioner to look for other means to resolve the problem or find another approach to deal with a current issue or concern.

This thus becomes a never-ending learning process where the more knowledge you practice in real-life situations, the more perfection you are able to achieve in each attempt. 

Conclusion

Apart from objectifying results and requirements, practical skills also help in developing social skills and improve the interactions of students with other people. While books and curriculum may at times, isolate students from what is actually out there, the practical application takes them closer to a real-world scenario where they themselves can acquire knowledge and realize how it is implemented.

I hope this post was able to offer you some meaningful insights regarding how practical skills matter a lot, not only in your daily life but also when it comes to your career and professional circle. For more questions, leave a mention in the comment section below.


Claudia Jeffrey currently works as a Research Analyst at Crowd Writer, the best platform for college students to buy cheap assignment writing service from assignment specialists. During her free time, she likes to try out oriental cuisine and recipes for loved ones at home.

The post Why Practical Skills Matter More Than A College Degree appeared first on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.

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How to Foster Change in Kids’ Behavior after Quarantine https://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/how-to-foster-change-in-kids-behavior-after-quarantine/ https://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/how-to-foster-change-in-kids-behavior-after-quarantine/#comments Fri, 24 Jul 2020 18:52:02 +0000 https://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/?p=81459

COVID-19 has impacted lives across the globe. Whether it's the loss of someone close to you, mental health challenges, or a reduction in your household income, the pandemic one way or another has affected us all.

Children are not an exception. They may not communicate their worries with us or express their feelings like adults, but they are also going through a difficult time. They have missed out on valuable learning time at school and have been unable to socialize with friends as they usually would. They may even be scared of the virus due to the snippets of information that they've overheard. 

But being forced to slow down has also had a positive impact on children. Kids have had a chance to spend more quality time with their parents and enjoy the benefits of boredom. During the lockdown, they have had to let their imagination run wild more often, thus developing their creativity and inventiveness. And all this learning will serve them when they are grown-ups to make time to slow down, notice small things, and other positive life-long habits.

At this point though, their routine has been modified. And as a parent, you may be  concerned about their reservations and how their behavior will change after the quarantine. We are facing life in the new normal, and just like it is challenging for adults, it is also for your little ones.

Now is therefore a good time to reduce screen time, start safely interacting with peers again, and deal with fears acquired during confinement. As a parent, there is so much you can do to foster change in your kids’ behavior and make the transition as smooth as possible:

1. Talk through their worries

Firstly, talk through any worries that your child may have. It's important to do this in a quiet space, free of distractions. Try and choose a time when any siblings are occupied and unlikely to interrupt so that your child has your full attention. Ask open questions such as 'how are you feeling about going to the park or back to school?' to encourage your child to open up to you.

2. Remind them of the positives

You can also help your child by reminding them of what they enjoyed about being out as well as at school. It could be seeing their friends, a particular lesson, or a favorite teacher. Bringing happy memories about school to the front of their mind will make them more eager to return. 

3. Normalize the hygiene practices

Ensure that you discuss good hygiene practices with your child, such as handwashing and catching their coughs and sneezes in a tissue. They may be worried about catching the virus when out, which is a valid concern. But you can help by reassuring them that these good hygiene practices will protect both themselves and their friends.

And you can help normalise these hygiene practices even further by highlighting that they are not just relevant now, but are important to know, to stay healthy throughout life.

4. Gradual adaptation

You may want to make contact with some of their closest friends and meet up with a reduced group. If you think your child will find it challenging to start interacting with other children again, you may want to consider the option to catch up through a video call before a physical encounter. A gradual adaptation to going out and seeing other people will make their return to school feel less scary and remind them of the fun times they have together. 

5. Talk to educators

It can also be beneficial to talk to professionals in childcare education and people with experience working with children. As they have first-hand experience and know other families' circumstances, they can give you some valuable insights.

6. Accept some new habits

After spending so much time at home, we have all acquired new habits that we don't necessarily need to break. If you feel that you should better control your child's screen time, for example, don’t stress out about it too much. As your children start going out again, these practices will naturally decrease, making space for more positive attitudes.

Most of all, you will want to make sure your child knows that you are there to talk to. Knowing that the person they trust most is there for them is the best reassurance that they can get.

Maria Kennedy is a journalist and freelance content writer. She covers stories on online publications about education, wellbeing, nutrition, women, and innovation. In her spare time, she enjoys practicing yoga and traveling with her husband and kids.

The post How to Foster Change in Kids’ Behavior after Quarantine appeared first on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.

]]>

COVID-19 has impacted lives across the globe. Whether it's the loss of someone close to you, mental health challenges, or a reduction in your household income, the pandemic one way or another has affected us all.

Children are not an exception. They may not communicate their worries with us or express their feelings like adults, but they are also going through a difficult time. They have missed out on valuable learning time at school and have been unable to socialize with friends as they usually would. They may even be scared of the virus due to the snippets of information that they've overheard. 

But being forced to slow down has also had a positive impact on children. Kids have had a chance to spend more quality time with their parents and enjoy the benefits of boredom. During the lockdown, they have had to let their imagination run wild more often, thus developing their creativity and inventiveness. And all this learning will serve them when they are grown-ups to make time to slow down, notice small things, and other positive life-long habits.

At this point though, their routine has been modified. And as a parent, you may be  concerned about their reservations and how their behavior will change after the quarantine. We are facing life in the new normal, and just like it is challenging for adults, it is also for your little ones.

Now is therefore a good time to reduce screen time, start safely interacting with peers again, and deal with fears acquired during confinement. As a parent, there is so much you can do to foster change in your kids’ behavior and make the transition as smooth as possible:

1. Talk through their worries

Firstly, talk through any worries that your child may have. It's important to do this in a quiet space, free of distractions. Try and choose a time when any siblings are occupied and unlikely to interrupt so that your child has your full attention. Ask open questions such as 'how are you feeling about going to the park or back to school?' to encourage your child to open up to you.

2. Remind them of the positives

You can also help your child by reminding them of what they enjoyed about being out as well as at school. It could be seeing their friends, a particular lesson, or a favorite teacher. Bringing happy memories about school to the front of their mind will make them more eager to return. 

3. Normalize the hygiene practices

Ensure that you discuss good hygiene practices with your child, such as handwashing and catching their coughs and sneezes in a tissue. They may be worried about catching the virus when out, which is a valid concern. But you can help by reassuring them that these good hygiene practices will protect both themselves and their friends.

And you can help normalise these hygiene practices even further by highlighting that they are not just relevant now, but are important to know, to stay healthy throughout life.

4. Gradual adaptation

You may want to make contact with some of their closest friends and meet up with a reduced group. If you think your child will find it challenging to start interacting with other children again, you may want to consider the option to catch up through a video call before a physical encounter. A gradual adaptation to going out and seeing other people will make their return to school feel less scary and remind them of the fun times they have together. 

5. Talk to educators

It can also be beneficial to talk to professionals in childcare education and people with experience working with children. As they have first-hand experience and know other families' circumstances, they can give you some valuable insights.

6. Accept some new habits

After spending so much time at home, we have all acquired new habits that we don't necessarily need to break. If you feel that you should better control your child's screen time, for example, don’t stress out about it too much. As your children start going out again, these practices will naturally decrease, making space for more positive attitudes.

Most of all, you will want to make sure your child knows that you are there to talk to. Knowing that the person they trust most is there for them is the best reassurance that they can get.

Maria Kennedy is a journalist and freelance content writer. She covers stories on online publications about education, wellbeing, nutrition, women, and innovation. In her spare time, she enjoys practicing yoga and traveling with her husband and kids.

The post How to Foster Change in Kids’ Behavior after Quarantine appeared first on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.

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What’s your Enneatype? https://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/whats-your-enneatype/ https://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/whats-your-enneatype/#respond Thu, 23 Jul 2020 21:23:54 +0000 https://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/?p=81447

Everyone is wired differently. We see the world through a unique set of lenses that have been crafted over time. Things like our genetics, predispositions, families of origin, personalities, experiences, traumas, ages, socioeconomic statuses, ethnicities, and cultures all contribute to the way that we see the world and the way that we operate within it.

By the time we’re in our 20s, barring any unexpected trauma, most of us have landed on a way of operating. The problem is that not all of the ways that we have learned to operate are good, helpful, or healthy. Many of our habits are actually coping mechanisms we learned early on, many of our lenses are clouded by childhood wounds, many of our reactions in the world are formed by unhealthy patterns. 

The Enneagram: What It Is 

  1. Nine-Pointed Figure—The Enneagram is many things. But the word itself simply means nine-pointed figure. Each of the nine spokes represents a different type (“Enneatype”), named from “ONE” through “NINE.” ONE is no better than NINE, these are just generic words used to describe each of the nine archetypes.
  2. A Challenge—The Enneagram helps you see that the best and worst of you are very much connected; we need to know our flaws and our unhealthy motivations if we want to rise above them. Many people are turned off from the Enneagram because they are not ready to face their shadow sides. That is okay—don’t pressure them. The Enneagram is for you to do your work, not for you to do other people’s work.
  3. Master’s Class in Empathy—The Enneagram is not just for personal growth, it also helps us to understand the people around us. Just because someone has similar external characteristics or reactions to you doesn’t mean that they are doing what they are doing for the same reason. Understanding all nine types on the Enneagram helps us to see part of the story of why someone may be reacting harshly, lashing out, shutting down and withdrawing; why certain work teams are dysfunctional; or why others work very well. The Enneagram unlocks another layer of diversity and breeds empathy for others.

The Enneagram: What It Isn’t

  1. Not A Party Trick—The Enneagram is a tool that you can use for good or for bad. One of the ways that people have been abusing the Enneagram in recent years, due to its extreme rise in popularity, is as a party trick. Do not use the Enneagram to type other people or to trivialize their behavior. Doing so minimizes people to their externalized actions, to your own perception of who they are, and puts them in a box.
  2. Not an Excuse—As stated above, the Enneagram demands that you understand that self-knowledge is not an end in itself; it is an invitation to grow. Straightforwardly, a FIVE who learns that they are a FIVE doesn’t get to use FIVE-ness as an excuse to be more withholding. A TWO who learns that they are a TWO doesn’t get to use TWO-ness as an excuse to be prideful. Withholding and pride are the shadow side of FIVE and TWO, respectively, and need to be rooted out. 

How to Figure Out your Enneatype

The number one question we get on our Instagram account (@justmyenneatype) is, “How do I figure out which type I am?”

The question is simple but the answer is more complicated. The Enneagram is not a test; it is a framework of understanding. This isn’t quantitative work we’re doing; it’s qualitative. At best, Enneagram tests that you find online will point you in the right direction but never confirm your type. Only you can do that. Even then, they’re only helpful if you are self-aware enough to answer them accurately. 

You can really only find your Enneatype by reading, researching, and learning. As you get to the core needs, fears, and motivations, one of them will eventually become pretty clear to you. Some people know their type in three minutes while other people will take five years to figure it out. Both of these—and anywhere in between—are all very normal. 

So, there you have it. The Enneagram is a tool that helps us to name what motivates people to do the things they do in the world. It is not a personality test, but rather a framework to be learned. In other words, it does not aim to help us understand what people do, but rather why they do what they do. More than anything, the Enneagram invites you to grow out of how you’ve been operating, to unlearn bad habits, and to rewrite unhealthy narratives.

About Liz Carver and Josh Green

Liz Carver and Josh Green run one of the most popular Enneagram accounts on social media, @justmyenneatype (justmyenneatype.com). Liz is a designer and the director of communication at Eastbrook Church in Wisconsin, and Josh is a campus minister for InterVarsity USA. They are the authors of What’s Your Enneatype? An Essential Guide to the Enneagram from Fair Winds Press. Learn more at https://quartokno.ws/Enneatype.

The post What’s your Enneatype? appeared first on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.

]]>

Everyone is wired differently. We see the world through a unique set of lenses that have been crafted over time. Things like our genetics, predispositions, families of origin, personalities, experiences, traumas, ages, socioeconomic statuses, ethnicities, and cultures all contribute to the way that we see the world and the way that we operate within it.

By the time we’re in our 20s, barring any unexpected trauma, most of us have landed on a way of operating. The problem is that not all of the ways that we have learned to operate are good, helpful, or healthy. Many of our habits are actually coping mechanisms we learned early on, many of our lenses are clouded by childhood wounds, many of our reactions in the world are formed by unhealthy patterns. 

The Enneagram: What It Is 

  1. Nine-Pointed Figure—The Enneagram is many things. But the word itself simply means nine-pointed figure. Each of the nine spokes represents a different type (“Enneatype”), named from “ONE” through “NINE.” ONE is no better than NINE, these are just generic words used to describe each of the nine archetypes.
  2. A Challenge—The Enneagram helps you see that the best and worst of you are very much connected; we need to know our flaws and our unhealthy motivations if we want to rise above them. Many people are turned off from the Enneagram because they are not ready to face their shadow sides. That is okay—don’t pressure them. The Enneagram is for you to do your work, not for you to do other people’s work.
  3. Master’s Class in Empathy—The Enneagram is not just for personal growth, it also helps us to understand the people around us. Just because someone has similar external characteristics or reactions to you doesn’t mean that they are doing what they are doing for the same reason. Understanding all nine types on the Enneagram helps us to see part of the story of why someone may be reacting harshly, lashing out, shutting down and withdrawing; why certain work teams are dysfunctional; or why others work very well. The Enneagram unlocks another layer of diversity and breeds empathy for others.

The Enneagram: What It Isn’t

  1. Not A Party Trick—The Enneagram is a tool that you can use for good or for bad. One of the ways that people have been abusing the Enneagram in recent years, due to its extreme rise in popularity, is as a party trick. Do not use the Enneagram to type other people or to trivialize their behavior. Doing so minimizes people to their externalized actions, to your own perception of who they are, and puts them in a box.
  2. Not an Excuse—As stated above, the Enneagram demands that you understand that self-knowledge is not an end in itself; it is an invitation to grow. Straightforwardly, a FIVE who learns that they are a FIVE doesn’t get to use FIVE-ness as an excuse to be more withholding. A TWO who learns that they are a TWO doesn’t get to use TWO-ness as an excuse to be prideful. Withholding and pride are the shadow side of FIVE and TWO, respectively, and need to be rooted out. 

How to Figure Out your Enneatype

The number one question we get on our Instagram account (@justmyenneatype) is, “How do I figure out which type I am?”

The question is simple but the answer is more complicated. The Enneagram is not a test; it is a framework of understanding. This isn’t quantitative work we’re doing; it’s qualitative. At best, Enneagram tests that you find online will point you in the right direction but never confirm your type. Only you can do that. Even then, they’re only helpful if you are self-aware enough to answer them accurately. 

You can really only find your Enneatype by reading, researching, and learning. As you get to the core needs, fears, and motivations, one of them will eventually become pretty clear to you. Some people know their type in three minutes while other people will take five years to figure it out. Both of these—and anywhere in between—are all very normal. 

So, there you have it. The Enneagram is a tool that helps us to name what motivates people to do the things they do in the world. It is not a personality test, but rather a framework to be learned. In other words, it does not aim to help us understand what people do, but rather why they do what they do. More than anything, the Enneagram invites you to grow out of how you’ve been operating, to unlearn bad habits, and to rewrite unhealthy narratives.

About Liz Carver and Josh Green

Liz Carver and Josh Green run one of the most popular Enneagram accounts on social media, @justmyenneatype (justmyenneatype.com). Liz is a designer and the director of communication at Eastbrook Church in Wisconsin, and Josh is a campus minister for InterVarsity USA. They are the authors of What’s Your Enneatype? An Essential Guide to the Enneagram from Fair Winds Press. Learn more at https://quartokno.ws/Enneatype.

The post What’s your Enneatype? appeared first on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.

]]>
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How Fitness Supercharges Your Productivity https://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/how-fitness-supercharges-your-productivity/ https://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/how-fitness-supercharges-your-productivity/#comments Wed, 22 Jul 2020 16:49:19 +0000 https://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/?p=81418

You may be tempted to see this article as just another productivity tip; it’s actually more than that. When I applied the knowledge I’ll be sharing in this article; I found myself working more productively and more focused. However, I also noticed that if the knowledge we’ll share here is not well balanced, you will find out that you’re enjoying increased productivity in a sector of your life, and a shortfall in another area of your life. Figure out the category of productivity you need assistance with so that you can enjoy a well-rounded life.

Physically Fit

I never loved running while growing up, but I was a lover of sports and some exercises that don’t involve running—having a mindset of always finding ways to engage in one type of exercise or the other, which you should also do, as it helps you to get busy with the type of exercise you enjoy from running to yoga.

There are multiple benefits to being physically fit, but one benefit that stands out is that it helps you to improve your mental productivity. Anytime you stretch your body and exercise, your mind will be redirected from your source of stress to the exercise. There are days where my mind will be engrossed in the activity that happened earlier in the day, but once I start exercising, my focus will shift from that to the exercise. You will flourish in what you do if you appropriately exercise.

Emotionally Fit

Emotional fitness is not a well-appreciated type of fitness, but it should. Although physical fitness can help you to be emotionally fit, emotional fitness in itself is very beneficial to an individual if there is a will to intentionally engage in it.

Physical fitness rubs on emotional fitness and vice versa.  You will find yourself highly unhappy if you’re not getting the exercise your body needs, and when you’re in the right state of mind, you’ll exercise better.

What Are The Benefits to Emotional Fitness?

Emotional fitness helps you get away from emotional problems like anxieties, stress, emotional disorders, etc. When you’re fit emotionally, you will have access to lots of opportunities that will assist you in reaching your goals.

When you’re highly fit emotionally, you will have a great relationship with your family, friends, and colleagues at work.

Financially Fit

If you want to enjoy your life and have access to some of the good things in life, then you need to be financially fit. If you constantly experience stress about how to pay your child’s tuition or pay the house payment, then you won’t be able to make yourself fit physically and emotionally. A highly effective way to be financially fit is by having a budget and abiding by its content.

When you make a budget, you can create goals and guidelines for your expenses—this will help you channel your finances to directly correlate with your daily tasks and your productivity for work.

I used to be neck-deep in-depth, which caused me lots of emotional stress—this affected my productivity level immensely. To get out of financial stress requires that you focus on each of your expenses, and monitor them to ensure that you’re getting a good value for your money.

If you find out that you’re not emotional or physically fit because of your financial life, then you have to pay attention to your finances and invest in knowledge about personal finance to help you achieve your financial goals. While you’re trying to get out of your financial woes, you should focus on building the right mindset to prevent a reoccurrence of your financial woes.

Conclusion

You need to pay attention to three main factors if you want to increase your productivity, those factors are; financial, emotional, and physical fitness. If you pay adequate attention to each of those three factors of productivity, you will succeed in whatever endeavor you desire. If you find yourself lacking behind in one of those methods, then you should seek help from a professional coach. Productivity requires an inner motivation; as such, you should carefully get rid of whatever is preventing you from being motivated internally.

Ben Tejes is the Co-Founder and CEO of Ascend Finance, a platform to help people achieve self-improvement in the area of personal finance.  He helped create Ascend’s chapter 7 means test calculator and loves a good mortgage payoff calculator. He writes on topics such as chapter 13 bankruptcy Missouri, chapter 13 bankruptcy California, and filing bankruptcy in Ohio to help people get out of debt and experience financial freedom.

The post How Fitness Supercharges Your Productivity appeared first on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.

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You may be tempted to see this article as just another productivity tip; it’s actually more than that. When I applied the knowledge I’ll be sharing in this article; I found myself working more productively and more focused. However, I also noticed that if the knowledge we’ll share here is not well balanced, you will find out that you’re enjoying increased productivity in a sector of your life, and a shortfall in another area of your life. Figure out the category of productivity you need assistance with so that you can enjoy a well-rounded life.

Physically Fit

I never loved running while growing up, but I was a lover of sports and some exercises that don’t involve running—having a mindset of always finding ways to engage in one type of exercise or the other, which you should also do, as it helps you to get busy with the type of exercise you enjoy from running to yoga.

There are multiple benefits to being physically fit, but one benefit that stands out is that it helps you to improve your mental productivity. Anytime you stretch your body and exercise, your mind will be redirected from your source of stress to the exercise. There are days where my mind will be engrossed in the activity that happened earlier in the day, but once I start exercising, my focus will shift from that to the exercise. You will flourish in what you do if you appropriately exercise.

Emotionally Fit

Emotional fitness is not a well-appreciated type of fitness, but it should. Although physical fitness can help you to be emotionally fit, emotional fitness in itself is very beneficial to an individual if there is a will to intentionally engage in it.

Physical fitness rubs on emotional fitness and vice versa.  You will find yourself highly unhappy if you’re not getting the exercise your body needs, and when you’re in the right state of mind, you’ll exercise better.

What Are The Benefits to Emotional Fitness?

Emotional fitness helps you get away from emotional problems like anxieties, stress, emotional disorders, etc. When you’re fit emotionally, you will have access to lots of opportunities that will assist you in reaching your goals.

When you’re highly fit emotionally, you will have a great relationship with your family, friends, and colleagues at work.

Financially Fit

If you want to enjoy your life and have access to some of the good things in life, then you need to be financially fit. If you constantly experience stress about how to pay your child’s tuition or pay the house payment, then you won’t be able to make yourself fit physically and emotionally. A highly effective way to be financially fit is by having a budget and abiding by its content.

When you make a budget, you can create goals and guidelines for your expenses—this will help you channel your finances to directly correlate with your daily tasks and your productivity for work.

I used to be neck-deep in-depth, which caused me lots of emotional stress—this affected my productivity level immensely. To get out of financial stress requires that you focus on each of your expenses, and monitor them to ensure that you’re getting a good value for your money.

If you find out that you’re not emotional or physically fit because of your financial life, then you have to pay attention to your finances and invest in knowledge about personal finance to help you achieve your financial goals. While you’re trying to get out of your financial woes, you should focus on building the right mindset to prevent a reoccurrence of your financial woes.

Conclusion

You need to pay attention to three main factors if you want to increase your productivity, those factors are; financial, emotional, and physical fitness. If you pay adequate attention to each of those three factors of productivity, you will succeed in whatever endeavor you desire. If you find yourself lacking behind in one of those methods, then you should seek help from a professional coach. Productivity requires an inner motivation; as such, you should carefully get rid of whatever is preventing you from being motivated internally.

Ben Tejes is the Co-Founder and CEO of Ascend Finance, a platform to help people achieve self-improvement in the area of personal finance.  He helped create Ascend’s chapter 7 means test calculator and loves a good mortgage payoff calculator. He writes on topics such as chapter 13 bankruptcy Missouri, chapter 13 bankruptcy California, and filing bankruptcy in Ohio to help people get out of debt and experience financial freedom.

The post How Fitness Supercharges Your Productivity appeared first on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.

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