Along my path and travels, I’ve found much inspiration and perspective through the people I’ve met along the way. These are people who challenge my limitations, invite new perspectives and ideas and simply make me see things differently. I’ve come to realize that who we choose to allow into our lives is one of the top influences to the quality of life we experience. We become the people we surround ourselves with- it’s so true. When I travel, I often find myself meeting people that I may not approach or stumble upon in my own city. Travelers are often explorers seeking expansive experience and opening their minds and hearts to what he world has to offer. I’ve found myself gravitating to people who think this way in my own city as well, although its sometimes a challenge when we are comfortable and not forced to approach people spontaneously. But I make it a priority because people who uplift, inspire, support, encourage and challenge are the people we deserve in our lives. Most importantly, I enjoy spending my time with people who I truly connect with. In focusing on building those relationships with the people who I feel I resonate with, I’ve come to see 3 qualities that are often present when I’m truly connecting with someone. When we ask ourselves these questions, the answers become clear.
1 Does it feel natural?
I’ve found the best relationships to spark and grow in freedom and without much thought. They’re totally natural. We don’t over think, adjust or limit our authentic expression with each other. We feel free to be ourselves, to express different emotions and simply give ourselves the permission to be who we are. This kind of dynamic creates the space to truly connect. I’ve found that some of the most inspiring and authentic connections happened spontaneously, without expectation and in freedom.
2 Do we share similar passions and values?
We know someone is on our level when we can hold a conversation with them that captures our interest and keeps us engaged. For example, when I meet someone who is into travel, personal growth, writing and creativity or health and wellness, I get excited and feel more connected to them. I can relate. I am genuinely interested in getting to know the other and we are able to find common ground. We can talk for hours…seriously! I’ve found that in living my own passion and vision, the people I’ve met along the way who share similar passions support my passion- we feed each others’ passion. It’s amazing. It may be that we are interested in the same activities, however what I’ve found to be even more important is shared values. For example, If I meet someone who also values growth and challenge, the way they go about living that value may be different from me, but we are still standing on the same ground and are able to relate to each other. They may have a YouTube channel, while I use my blog; we both value creativity and self expression. There are so many right ways to live the same value.
3 How Do I Feel in My Body?
This is perhaps the most important thing to pay attention to when we want to grow with and truly feel connected to the people around us. Danielle LaPorte, a woman who inspires me every day, has written “The Desire Map”, a book that describes how we go about setting goals by first identifying the way we want to feel. By knowing our “Core Desired Feelings” we are able to align our actions and choices, including who we spend our time with, to feel the way we desire. We want to feel good with the people around us, we want to feel energized, inspired, supported, fulfilled and connected. When we pay attention to how we feel and trust our instinct, the answers become clear. A great way to get clear is to do a 10 second gut check and ask ourselves the question, “Do I feel good, energized, at ease and connected with this person?” Our instinct doesn’t lie. Sometimes it’s about being really honest with ourselves and having the courage to trust the quiet voice within. From there, we will know who is meant to be in our lives.
Julie is passionate about everything personal growth and wellness, living the Wholehearted journey and sharing it on her blog, www.breathingeverymoment.blogspot.com