relationships

Why Making Friends Is Critical To Your Life

Many people SECRETLY think that Making Friends is getting less and less important. Maybe we don’t “need” friends after all…

If you think about it, thousands of years ago, we actually needed friends to help us hunt so we can eat. And we needed friends to be able to defend ourselves and our families.

Our lives depended on our friends and community!

Nowadays, you can work from home as a freelancer and not “have to” see a soul. You can even order your food online and never get out of the house… and physically, you’d be fine! What would you “need” friends for?

Well… As you know there is more to life than food and security.

After having done a lot of research, spending years learning to make friends in my life, and creating the whole “Get The Friends You Want” methodology, I found that friendships were more important than I could ever imagined.

I never thought that my life, my success, and happiness actually depended on having the right friends!

So here we go, let’s talk about Why It’s Critical for us to make new friends…

Get Productive and Motivated

If you have close friends, with whom you can share your goals, you are more likely to DO what is necessary. Good friends hold you accountable and EXPECT you to do what you’re gonna do.

Transform Yourself

We human beings have what scientists call “mirror-neurons”. These neurons ensure that we “mirror” the people around us. That means that if you want to transform yourself, go and hangout with people who are already at the level you want to get to. The transformation will happen almost on its own.

You probably heard this before, but now there is brain research to prove that the easiest way to change is to get friends that are already where you want to be.

We all heard the old advice “Birds of a feather, flock together”… well, it’s actually MORE true than we could ever imagine.

Stay Healthy and Free of Stress

Ever noticed that people with a nice group of friends don’t seem to be upset about life’s problems as much as lonely people? A group of friends contributes to reducing your stress level. Problems seem smaller. They don’t pile up because you get over them faster

The research on how much friends are important to your life is getting scary. Scientists say that not having a group of friends is an equivalent (for your health) of smoking 15 cigarettes a day, or being morbidly obese…

Speed up Your Career, and Get Access to Important People

Most people think of “networking” as a manipulative approach to get what you want in life, by taking advantage of the people you know.

The fact is, those who get successful at making friends are obligated to become what I call “Givers”. They realise that the only way to have access to important people, to speed up their career, is to give, give, and give.

They become the kind of people who are constantly thinking of new ways to help their friends and associates.

The skill of building friendships is one of the most important ones you can learn. Just think about it… have you ever seen a spectacularly succesful person that did it all on their own, without the help of dozens or hundreds of people along the way?

Now What?

Friendship seems irrelevent and “not urgent” at the surface, but most of the time, it is THE element that is missing from our lives that would take us to the next level.

That’s why we need to learn how to get from a place where we don’t have the friends we want, or maybe have friends that drain our energy, to a place where we hang out with people that inspire us and challenge us to live a better, more exciting life.

If you want to start learning about friendship I invite you to get on my Free Social Skills Newsletter.

In it, I’ll show you all the important steps for getting there: from overcoming shyness or hesitation, to having interesting conversations, keeping in touch, making friends, and building your social circle.

Good luck with your friend-making!
- Paul Sanders

[Bio box:]

Paul Sanders helps people Overcome Shyness and Loneliness, Master Conversation and Social Skills, Make Friends, and Build a Social Circle. If you want to get more Free Advice, go here: Get The Friends You Want

  • http://www.pamsallegue.com/ Pam Sallegue

    Great article! I do agree with this, I actually wrote an article before how important it is to have friends http://www.pamsallegue.com/2013/01/made-to-become-friends/ . We’re made to have friends, and its more than just the happiness we get from them, but how they help us build ourselves.

    • http://www.facebook.com/SocialCirclePower Paul Sanders

       Yes Pam! They help us BUILD who we are!

  • http://www.theconfidencelounge.com/ Aaron Morton

    A few years ago a group of Scientists travelled around the world speaking with communities with the highest number of people living past 100. They interviewed the people and observed the common practices among these groups of people. An interesting place was Italy as they seemed to eat and drink a lot of things that would cause heart disease and other health issues. A lot of alcohol, a lot of high fat food. What they discovered was that they were eating these things in a social setting, spending hours talking, laughing, communicating with friends, neighbours both young and old.

    We are social beings; stick a person in solitary confinement and what is the typical explanation of what happens? they create characters in their mind. Look at Tom Hanks in Castaway, he made a friend out of a f@£king basketball! We are predisposition to be social which is part of the reason why one of the traits of depression is an isolation of people around you.

    Good article

    Aaron
    The Confidence Lounge.

    • http://www.facebook.com/SocialCirclePower Paul Sanders

       Thanks Aaron. Great contribution!

  • http://www.acalltoaction.net/ Trevor Wilson

    It’s true that we mirror those we most closely associate with. It can be a powerful driver of change. One of the best things you can do if you want to develop a certain trait is to start making friends with those who already possess it.

    Of course, the trick lies in actually making the friends.

    But once you start to hang around with a core group that embodies the ideals you are striving for, you’ll find that eventually you start to resonate on the same frequency yourself. First you’ll “mirror” them . . .

    Then you’ll become one of them.

    Cheers!

    • http://www.facebook.com/SocialCirclePower Paul Sanders

      Thanks Trevor!

  • http://www.thoughtful-self-improvement.com/Metaphors-for-Life.html Natalie

    Thanks for the reminder. As an extreme introvert, I tend to let things like this slide.   Now I need to find the people locally (offline) that are committed to self improvement. :)

    • http://www.facebook.com/SocialCirclePower Paul Sanders

      That’s great, Natalie.

      Going out to socialize is not your favorite thing to do I suppose. But you only need to do it occasionally. When you make a few contacts, you can meet them later in quieter places, at your pace.

      Good luck

      • http://www.thoughtful-self-improvement.com/Metaphors-for-Life.html Natalie

         I have friends and go out once in awhile, but they are not the most positive people. They are very supportive and encouraging of each other even while they complain about their lives. 

        So I need some new friends for me to ‘mirror’ as I try to get my current friends to ‘mirror’ my positive attitude.

  • http://www.danerickson.net/ Dan Erickson

    Good post.  I’ve always been blessed with a great bunch of personal friends.  I’ve been developing quite a few professional freindships lately.  It’s the basis of good team-building.

    • http://www.facebook.com/SocialCirclePower Paul Sanders

       Thanks Dan.

      Just to confirm what you just said:  a recent study found that people with a best friend at work are 70% more productive, engaged and satisfied with their job.

      So keep going! ;-)

  • MK Slagel

    It is scary to think that not having a good group of friends does the same damage to you as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. I have always been lucky to have a great group of friends even if that group has changed over the years but I would assume that is expected. I mean we can’t always keep the same friends we had in middle school into our college years and beyond. But as I have grown, so has my group of friends and I have come to realize we may not always be the most popular people but we get along because we are all the same. We are quirky, we are different and we understand each other. I could not ask for more. 

  • http://goalsetting-workshop.com/blog/ Jorge Blanco

    Wonderful article, Paul. Friends bring out the best in you, so we shouldn’t forget to establish friendships anywhere we go, especially at work. 

  • http://www.passiveproductive.com/ Sam Matla

    Hey Paul, Thanks for the awesome post. I think friends are really important to stay accountable (like you said), I have good friends that I personally see as accountability partners as well as important figures in my life.

    Man, life is awesome.

  • http://www.financialbailoutnews.com/5-financial-steps-to-prep-for-the-real-world/ Morgan@Financial Bailout News

    I am a very social person and have no idea what I would do if I didn’t have a friend at my disposal 24/7. Friendships are the key to being a happier, healthier, and more well-rounded person. Great post! 

  • miso

    I disagree. i struggle to make friends. but the main problem with not having friends was thinking that something was missing from my life. i felt so much better when i realised that i had everything i needed in my life and became more grateful  of my situation. of course they are nice to have but i dont think they are important.

    fill out my questionnaire please
    http://kwiksurveys.com/s.asp?sid=enys9hi714nrl1l90937

  • http://www.financialfreedomnewsletter.net/choosing-the-best-health-insurance-plan-for-you/ Rynessa Cutting

    Great article. It got me to thinking about what happens when you outgrow friendships, or any relationship for that matter. It’s hard to turn your back on a childhood friend, but what if it’s best? Perhaps you can write a piece on that topic.

  • http://rpsmiles.com/category/latest-news Del Mar Dentist

    I am not a very sociable person. I don’t talk to people I don’t know. I’m usually shy. It’s good to have friends though especially in the workplace as it helps you withstand all the trials you have to face. But we cannot deny the fact that there are people who are friendly. How do we recognize one?