Comments on: When Talking Doesn’t Work: How To Navigate a Slump

By: bigpurohit

bigpurohit — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 08:34:02 +0000

Well written Ali, I am facing same situation right now and tried to explain problem to my friend but end up with regretting my decision because he seems to be not interested so, what do you suggest to tackle that situation? And keep myself on right direction???

By: Debbie M

Debbie M — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 21:43:21 +0000

I once learned never to ask a certain person a question that could be answered negatively. And whenever she did mention something good, I would try to emphasize that, saying things like, “That’s so great that you have the sort of boyfriend who would come pick you up after you wrecked your car!” I got pretty good at changing my habits so that I could enjoy talking to her more. To this day, I don’t know how she broke her arm, for example.

By: Ali Hale

Ali Hale — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 16:44:46 +0000

Thanks for the comments, it’s great to hear that it’s worked similarly in your lives as in mine! I agree that focusing on the solution, or the positives, is the key to moving forwards rather than going around in a deep dark spiral of despair…

By: Pharmacist Millie

Pharmacist Millie — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 15:15:22 +0000

From my own experience I see this as being quite true. When my boy and I are feeling down we used to encourage each other to talk it out, it seemed as though things got worse sometimes (not always mind you). Now we make sure to point out all the positives in the situation and life, it seems to be working too.

By: Mr. Self Development

Mr. Self Development — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 22:10:49 +0000

Great post Ali, I agree, talking about the problem causes you to focus on the problem, and what we focus on expands. The key is to talk about the solution until it expands bigger than the problem.

By: Positively Present

Positively Present — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 18:54:41 +0000

What you’ve written here is so interesting and true! It seems natural to “talk it out” but that’s definitely not always the best way to handle things (I know this all too well). Excellent stuff in this post!