Image courtesy of Hidden In France.
What are your most important priorities in life? What matters to you more than your job, more than your car or house, more than your hobbies and interests? What would you drop everything else for?
You might answer something like:
• My partner
• My religion or faith
• My children
• My health
• My spiritual or personal growth
If your partner was very ill, you’d cancel all your plans to be with him/her – even if it meant missing out on an event you were really looking forward to.
If your boss asked you to do something contrary to a central tenet of your religion, you’d say no – even if it might scupper your chances of a promotion.
If your child came home from school in floods of tears, you’d stop doing the housework in an instant – even if it meant putting up with a grimy bathroom for another day.
If you had a sudden health scare, you’d start making changes to your lifestyle – even if you’d never managed to find the time or willpower before.
If you realised that your job was crushing your spirit, you’d work up the courage to leave – even if it meant cutting down your spending.
Don’t Wait for a Crisis
The problem is, your important priorities – those things that matter to you more than anything else – often only get your attention in a crisis. Sudden illness, a stark decision, an unexpected problem, might force you into making a choice. This is why people often make radical health and lifestyle changes after a serious scare, for example.
In the normal run of life, though, it’s all too easy to let those important priorities drift aside. After all, they rarely seem urgent – whereas work, chores and leisure-time lures can be pressing.
There’s an oft-quoted maxim that no-one looks back from their deathbed and says “I wish I’d spent more time in the office.” But how often do we end up working late, or obsessing over work whilst at home – and letting relationships with family members sour?
It’s the same with other areas. Perhaps you feel that your personal growth or your spirituality is currently stagnant: you might have some particular habits or issues that you know you want to work through, but you never find the time and energy. Or maybe it’s your physical health: you’d like to lose a few pounds and get fit, but you never get around to it.
The problem is, if you don’t take action now, you might find that it’s too late. Those absolute priorities in your life will keep on getting subordinated to the concerns or whims of the moment.
Your Typical Day
In an average day, how much real, quality time do you spend with your family? How much time do you spend on your own growth and development as a person? How much time do you spend in religious or spiritual observance (if relevant to you)? How much time do you spend actively taking care of your health, both mental and physical?
I think many of us will find that our answers to those questions are dismaying. A lot of our time and energy ends up spent on tasks that aren’t especially significant to us – and our relationships and health suffers.
Keep Your Priorities In Sight
So how can you make sure that you focus your attention on what truly matters to you? A tip I picked up from Dave Navarro’s 30 Hours A Day is to have a “dashboard” where you write these essential priorities. Keep it in the front of your notebook, or on an index card in your pocket. Look at it at least once a day: this can really help when you’re faced with the choice between slumping in front of the television in the evening, or playing ball outside with your kids.
If writing down your priorities like this seems a bit cold or odd, try using something symbolic as a reminder. Perhaps you want to wear a piece of jewelry that your partner gave you, or you want to keep a photo of your kids on your desk. Whenever you see it, you’ll be reminded of what truly matters in your life.
What are your real priorities – the ones you’d drop everything for? How can you put them back at the center of your life?
Get your Personal Self Improvement Questions Answered here!
Don’t Forget To Follow PickTheBrain on Twitter!
Related Articles:
Why You Shouldn’t Care What Others Think About You
How To Choose The Right Goals For You
[...] your free copy of “Work in Progress” exclusively from http://www.varsityblah.com/about and check this out [...]
Excellent post. I quite appreciate your view point. Thanks for sharing.
I don’t think that there is one thing that really makes me tick, it’s a combination of a number of them. One of them is my career, but as a teacher, I think it’s a little different than working in sales or something like that.
Hi Ali: It definitely makes sense to decide what are the most important things in life for you, and then arrange your life around those priorities. It’s Covey’s message of putting the big rocks in first. For example, if your family is the most important thing in the world for you, why is your life arranged in such a way that you hardly get to spend any time with them? I like Dave Navarro’s technique which you mention here.
At the end of the day. The most important part of life is to keep the most important things as your prioritizes. Make sure your health , family and religion come first and foremost. Do that and everything else will fall into place in term of achieving success.
Thanks for a great article Ali,
Marelisa has a very valid point, if family is the most important thing to most of us why do we spend so little time with them. I am finalizing my trip back home right now, no more procrastinating!
Thanks for the great advice Jonathan
The advice is pretty good, but I have noticed that every post has a link to another post–its like a never-ending self-help circle.
I feel that the writers on this site cover a lot of frivolous points. There are a few main ideas that one needs to know in life–including how to find yourself, love yourself for your strengths and flaws, and do what you enjoy. In the end, you will find that an understanding and love for yourself will result in in a kind attitude towards others and will lead you to self-improvement.
There are countless sites like this that link “essential” topic after topic. But in reality, they are trying to make a buck–this is how they make their living–never forget that.
In sum, I believe you should take what YOU want from articles and websites similar to this, and in the end realize that finding out who you are, loving yourself completely, and doing what you enjoy will render many other self-help articles unnecessary.
Wikihow is a great resource to help find out who you are, be yourself, guide you to YOUR vision of success, and also provides tips to improve weaknesses you have.
I have made a list of my six priorities in life. It’s not allowed to be more than six, so this way it makes me focus on only what is really important. Of course the list changes over time but we need to be flexible about things. It’s safely tucked away in my Google docs account.
I prioritize:
My self
My family
My partner
That’s it. All I do is for these three. But right now, I am really working hard, sometimes ignoring them to get to my goals and have more time with them.
I sure hope I get things straight so that I can may my priorities my priorities.