What Do You Really Want? And How To Get It!

Have you ever wondered what you really want out of life? Do you know what you want to achieve? Is it family, success, long life, lots of money, all of the above? Have you even asked yourself the question? And if you did ask yourself, didn’t you just as quickly forget about it?

We are constantly surrounded by TV ads, media trends, and all kinds of advice from sports heroes, music bands and film stars. They tell us what to do, what to like and what to think. They tell us what to eat, what to wear, how to bathe, even how to talk. This endless flow of information is in our face and in our heads 24/7. However, it is not there to help us. It is only there to sell us a product or a service or to increase their power over us.

What if you ignored this “advice” and chose something else? It wouldn’t take long for your friends, family and co-workers to tell you it was a bad idea.

The end result is you think you enjoy what you do, you think you live in a nice place, and you think you use the right products. Yet, deep down inside, you are not sure. Maybe you ask yourself “do I really like this job or is it only the money” and “do I really like these friends and their advice or don’t I have a choice?”

The question is “Do you know what you really want?”

The answer is “Yes you do, you just haven’t asked yourself yet”.

If you’re in an unhappy situation, don’t be passive and do nothing.  A little positive thinking will tell you what you really want. That sounds good, but what exactly should you do? Did you ever have to do something, but had no idea even how to start? The more you thought about it, the more impossible it became. Round and round inside your head until you gave up, and went back to living with the old problem.

To know what you really want, you don’t need advertising. You don’t need to buy the latest products or services. Above all, you don’t need to be told. All you need is a little personal time to think things out. And I will tell you how to do that.  However, do not expect instant answers for wealth, health, power and happiness. Happiness and health are natural conditions; they cannot be ends in themselves. Money and power do not bring you anything; they are just a means to get what you really want.

Here is a tip. Ultimately, it comes down to inner harmony and a true understanding. You will live a good relaxing life if you are healthy and happy. But if you don’t know what you really want, then all the money and power in the world won’t help you relax.

Here’s How to Find Out – an Exercise for Your Mind

You want to ask yourself “What do I really want?” The easiest way to know yourself and to get an honest answer to the question is … Sorry I can’t tell you; it’s not that easy. This is a private personal question to yourself, and the answer will be equally private. What I can tell you is the technique to use to ask the question. The answer will be your deepest and truest desire for what will make you happy and make sense of everything around you.

To start, find yourself some free time when you won’t be interrupted. Thirty minutes to an hour will be enough. Turn off all distractions (phone, computer, TV, etc.).

Take a sheet of paper and write at the top in large letters “I want …”.

Underneath write down the first thing that comes into your mind. Do not worry if it’s really stupid, nobody else is going to read it.

Carry on down the page, making a list of what you want. The first five to ten things will come easily to you and it should not take you more than a minute.

After that it gets interesting. Continue with your list until you have one hundred answers. Remember this is fun, not a chore! Just write whatever is natural, simple, and exciting.

Ah ha! There is the answer to your question. Eventually, one of your answers will be the one to make you happy, bring you money, and make you look successful to others. And the fact that you worked it out for yourself will make you even happier and more confident.

A True Example – How I Did It

I did the same exercise. After about fifty minutes, I had ninety-five answers. At first they were all the typical standard things like “I want to be rich,” “I want more friends,” “I want a big house.” Then came some really strange answers like “I want to read people’s thoughts,” “I want to fly.” Don’t worry, that is normal. After about twenty to thirty answers, all kinds of strange ideas will pop up in your head; things that you never thought you would want.

Now I am sure you are curious. You want to know what was the key answer that switched on the light in my head. I will tell you.

“I want to help other people be happy, rich, and in control of their lives”.

The hidden message (mine and maybe yours) is that to be happy and have everything I want, all I have to do is help as many people as possible! Ultimately, what we are is what we do, and what we do is reflected in the people around us. I encourage you to look around you and perceive everything, as a reflection of what you are, and again, from this standpoint ask yourself: ‘What do I really want?’

Ashton Aiden is passionate about helping people find practical and effective ways for overcoming their inner barriers, reaching that next level of success and self-awareness, and manifesting the life of their dreams. He is a certified life coach, the owner of, and the author of ‘The Complete Change Your Life System’.

13 Responses to What Do You Really Want? And How To Get It!

  1. Self-reflection is a crucial step in our journey towards personal growth. It sets the foundation for everything to come. It’s definitely worth putting some time and thought into figuring out what you truly want in life.


  2. Aaron Morton says:

    I find a lot of the times what people really want is not what they openly come out with. It is what comes out after a number out of awareness adjustments based on current beliefs, moods, experience. As a result, I find it is a good exercise to be aware of what you are currently drawn towards, what are you curious about. This can give you an idea of what is attracting your attention.

    Aaron Morton

  3. Morgan Decker says:

    I feel like nobody ever really knows what they want out of life until they find it, but collaboration and self exploration are great ways to help you figure that out, great post!

  4. sespring says:

    I don’t think that most people take the time to figure out what they really want. As a result, they end up with a life that just happens, instead of the life that they wanted.Even worse, they may end up with the life that someone else planned for them….

  5. Dina says:

    well my problem is All I want is to be FREE!! I came from different culture where women/girls are looked down compare to men.. so I left NO choice than I cannot do this and that just because I’m a girl.. on the top of that I live for reputation I mean family repuation and I have to keep the family’s honor even if that means NOT doing things I enjoy, I cannot dress the way I feel comfortable or be friend with certain people just people I will bring shame to my family so My Only Wish in this Life is to be Free one day to be able to enjoy life how I want then I can think of the life style I want But at this moment All I want to be is liberated):

  6. Nameless says:

    It’s clear that you are from Arab world. I know Dina that most problems there exclusively in way of thinking.

  7. Sam Matla says:

    The media is horrible, it really is. It constantly promotes the idea of instant
    gratification which is really an unnatural occurrence; things are supposed to take time.

    But you asked a question, I suppose I’d really like to travel, have a family. To do
    that I’d need a bit of money, and I like money – not because it gets me
    materialistic objects, but because I like how it works. I like making it.

    Thanks for the post!

  8. Natalie says:

    A few years ago I used the method mentioned to find my life purpose. It brought tears to my eyes.

    To put this to work I took another sheet of paper and wrote at the top ‘IF I knew I would be struck by lightning 6 months from now I would ….’

    This gives a totally different viewpoint.

  9. Ashton A. says:

    Dina, this is going to sound strange, but did I meet you a couple weeks ago through a mutual friend in Las Vegas? If not, disregard that question.

    I would like to offer you some positive affirmations in relation to your comment. You CAN dress the way you feel comfortable. You have the right to hang out with whoever you want to hang out with, and you DO NOT need to feel obligated to worry about your family’s reputation, if it holds discord to what you feel will make you happy. You have the right, indeed even the obligation, to explore what makes YOU happy. Be a little selfish for once :)

    It may sound easier said than done, but you will make it to the point where you feel free from these limitations and obligations. Keep your head up! It only gets better from here!

    PS: Though it may be in different circumstances, I think we can all relate to that desire to be free-from any limitations. We were designed with such a strong drive to be that way.

    Best wishes

  10. Ashton A says:


    I completely agree with your thoughts on the media and instant gratification. Though we can often times get what we want quickly, the idea of “wanting what we want NOW” is not conducive to our success or happiness. It can turn us into black holes that just want more and more, and once we get what we want, we just want something else-because it turns out that really wasn’t what we truly wanted at all.

    Sounds like you are already in a good place to get what you want. You do know more of what you truly want, and you like to make money! It’s always the people who can enjoy making money that end up making a lot!

    Glad you enjoyed the post :)

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  13. penson says:

    well, tell me what to do and how to do? i feel life is full of chance and difficence. well, in my opoinion, whatever what we do, we shouldn’t give up our dream. if one day, a person who forget his personal idea, will lose direction. So, we must keep our dream, and work hard up and up.

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