Comments on: The Sensitive Person’s Guide to Handling Criticism http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/the-sensitive-persons-guide-to-handling-criticism/ Mon, 13 Feb 2012 09:22:00 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.1 By: DanaDash http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/the-sensitive-persons-guide-to-handling-criticism/comment-page-1/#comment-107316 DanaDash Thu, 29 Sep 2011 14:33:00 +0000 http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/the-sensitive-persons-guide-to-handling-criticism/#comment-107316 I hope that you get to see this. I do not think your approach of  "the person [criticizing you] is always right...[because] I just want to make the people in my life happier," is a healthy one. You are born and die alone...most likely. So it's important to make sure that You are happy. You cannot do that if you allow all criticism to "shape" You. This wont work because these changes aren't necessarily things You want for yourself. They are things other people (who didn't come into this place called Earth and who probably wont leave with you) want. Obviously I too have issues with accepting criticism, but I hope that you understand that You are okay just the way you are. Though there are ...lots (I dont know the number) of people in this world, everyone will not like you. And that's okay! This is true for everyone. Think of the last time you didnt feel depressed, look at the events that caused the depression and try to get back to that person who was more sure of themself. On the drive to work today I thought to myself... advice (and criticism) can sometimes cloud our judgment. It allows people to get into our heads and these comments mute out our own inner voices, wants, and intuitions. So in essence, advice sort of causes us to trust ourselves less. This isn't good. That self trust is self-esteem. We must realize that we are okay. As the author said, don't take things personally. But I too wonder about the thin line between having headstrong self-esteem and being too stubborn when good (o_O)  criticism comes my way. But please don't try to please EVERYONE else, it will only make you feel further from yourself (and the solution) than ever before. I hope that you get to see this. I do not think your approach of  “the person [criticizing you] is always right…[because] I just want to make the people in my life happier,” is a healthy one.

You are born and die alone…most likely. So it’s important to make sure that You are happy. You cannot do that if you allow all criticism to “shape” You. This wont work because these changes aren’t necessarily things You want for yourself. They are things other people (who didn’t come into this place called Earth and who probably wont leave with you) want.

Obviously I too have issues with accepting criticism, but I hope that you understand that You are okay just the way you are. Though there are …lots (I dont know the number) of people in this world, everyone will not like you. And that’s okay! This is true for everyone. Think of the last time you didnt feel depressed, look at the events that caused the depression and try to get back to that person who was more sure of themself.

On the drive to work today I thought to myself… advice (and criticism) can sometimes cloud our judgment. It allows people to get into our heads and these comments mute out our own inner voices, wants, and intuitions. So in essence, advice sort of causes us to trust ourselves less. This isn’t good. That self trust is self-esteem. We must realize that we are okay. As the author said, don’t take things personally. But I too wonder about the thin line between having headstrong self-esteem and being too stubborn when good (o_O)  criticism comes my way.

But please don’t try to please EVERYONE else, it will only make you feel further from yourself (and the solution) than ever before.

]]> By: Kylehoyt70 http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/the-sensitive-persons-guide-to-handling-criticism/comment-page-1/#comment-106215 Kylehoyt70 Thu, 01 Sep 2011 07:04:00 +0000 http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/the-sensitive-persons-guide-to-handling-criticism/#comment-106215 Thank you for writing this. Currently i have been depressed because I'm not particularly talented at anything (at least i think so) i often dwell on my actions or events where i have been criticized for hours. Now I'm just going to try to go with the approach that the person is always right and try to accept there form of criticism as something positive even if it wasn't meant to be and maybe accept that i am doing something awkward or wrong and try to improve because in the end i just want to make the people in my life happier. Hopefully i can try to force myself to look at everything in a positive light and grow more as a person. I sincerely appreaciate the time spent on this article because I  believe many people have this problem and accepting that you mess up sometimes is the first step to leading a happier life. Thank you for writing this. Currently i have been depressed because I’m not particularly talented at anything (at least i think so) i often dwell on my actions or events where i have been criticized for hours. Now I’m just going to try to go with the approach that the person is always right and try to accept there form of criticism as something positive even if it wasn’t meant to be and maybe accept that i am doing something awkward or wrong and try to improve because in the end i just want to make the people in my life happier. Hopefully i can try to force myself to look at everything in a positive light and grow more as a person. I sincerely appreaciate the time spent on this article because I  believe many people have this problem and accepting that you mess up sometimes is the first step to leading a happier life.

]]> By: Chloe http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/the-sensitive-persons-guide-to-handling-criticism/comment-page-1/#comment-106113 Chloe Tue, 30 Aug 2011 01:02:00 +0000 http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/the-sensitive-persons-guide-to-handling-criticism/#comment-106113 Ok, so I have been with my boyfriend for just over two months. We split up after a year because I lived away in uni and the distance seemed difficult at the time. Sincw we have been back together things have improved a lot, and we are getting to knoe each other more and how to handle certain situations and are realising that not all things are worth an argument, so we tend to leave things go. But the one thing that continuosly upsets me is his lack of ability to say anything nice to me, compliment me etc instead he spends most of the time we are togther critisizing me, putting me down, mocking, me. When i address the fact that im upset he says 'its tongue in cheek, sorry, lighten up'.He says he is a very insecure person which is why he uses 'wit' for affect. He also says hes like it with everyone so don't take it personal. I am his first gf, so he is still learning. Although i can;t keep using this as an excuse. We have very different upbringings, himself and family are accountantss etc, whereas my family are not so restricted and don't exactly alwasy meet eye to eye. Therefore he will mock my opinions, beliefs, the way I act or dress innapproriately etc. This makes me feel inferior. He is scared of commitment and he don't ever say he .loves me. I have currently come to the conclusion that I love him but don;t alwasy like him as a person, and he don;t love me but likes me as a person. He said to me recently...'you'd be the perfect woman if you just listened to me'. Thats the problem, if he don;t love me for my faults and wants to mould me into what he sees as acceptable as such then where do I go from here? He always says 'I like you and don;t want to split up with you' if i put thsi to him. This isn't enough for me....So what now? Do i take these critisisms wrongly? Do i walk away and find someone who does love me for me? Help pleasee :) Ok, so I have been with my boyfriend for just over two months. We split up after a year because I lived away in uni and the distance seemed difficult at the time. Sincw we have been back together things have improved a lot, and we are getting to knoe each other more and how to handle certain situations and are realising that not all things are worth an argument, so we tend to leave things go. But the one thing that continuosly upsets me is his lack of ability to say anything nice to me, compliment me etc instead he spends most of the time we are togther critisizing me, putting me down, mocking, me. When i address the fact that im upset he says ‘its tongue in cheek, sorry, lighten up’.He says he is a very insecure person which is why he uses ‘wit’ for affect. He also says hes like it with everyone so don’t take it personal. I am his first gf, so he is still learning. Although i can;t keep using this as an excuse. We have very different upbringings, himself and family are accountantss etc, whereas my family are not so restricted and don’t exactly alwasy meet eye to eye. Therefore he will mock my opinions, beliefs, the way I act or dress innapproriately etc. This makes me feel inferior. He is scared of commitment and he don’t ever say he .loves me. I have currently come to the conclusion that I love him but don;t alwasy like him as a person, and he don;t love me but likes me as a person. He said to me recently…’you’d be the perfect woman if you just listened to me’. Thats the problem, if he don;t love me for my faults and wants to mould me into what he sees as acceptable as such then where do I go from here? He always says ‘I like you and don;t want to split up with you’ if i put thsi to him. This isn’t enough for me….So what now? Do i take these critisisms wrongly? Do i walk away and find someone who does love me for me? Help pleasee :)

]]> By: Kyle Hill http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/the-sensitive-persons-guide-to-handling-criticism/comment-page-1/#comment-106067 Kyle Hill Sun, 28 Aug 2011 20:50:00 +0000 http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/the-sensitive-persons-guide-to-handling-criticism/#comment-106067  This world is for sure survival of the fittest.  This world is for sure survival of the fittest.

]]> By: Kyle Hill http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/the-sensitive-persons-guide-to-handling-criticism/comment-page-1/#comment-106066 Kyle Hill Sun, 28 Aug 2011 20:49:00 +0000 http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/the-sensitive-persons-guide-to-handling-criticism/#comment-106066 Thank you.  I am always criticised or patronized by people and if I do achive something they act shocked that I did it.    :(   I have come to the conclusion that their are multiple timelines and in each timeline 3/4ths of the people will always find faults with you and you have to find the rest of the people who truly matter.    I have felt the vibrations many times when the future is edited as if higher beings are pulling strings to test me.       I find it unfair and I plan to get them in BIG and I mean B-I-G trouble one way or another before I am done for as the world does its damn best to make me ignorant. Thank you.  I am always criticised or patronized by people and if I do achive something they act shocked that I did it.    :(   

I have come to the conclusion that their are multiple timelines and in each timeline 3/4ths of the people will always find faults with you and you have to find the rest of the people who truly matter.   

I have felt the vibrations many times when the future is edited as if higher beings are pulling strings to test me.     

 I find it unfair and I plan to get them in BIG and I mean B-I-G trouble one way or another before I am done for as the world does its damn best to make me ignorant.

]]> By: Quelita http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/the-sensitive-persons-guide-to-handling-criticism/comment-page-1/#comment-105560 Quelita Sat, 13 Aug 2011 19:21:00 +0000 http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/the-sensitive-persons-guide-to-handling-criticism/#comment-105560 Hi Dana! Try not to see them too much. The more you  see them the more uncomfortable you get. My husband's family was always talking bad about me when they lived close to me but when they left , I felt I could breathe again. If you and your boyfriend decide to move to another city or state that would help a lot with the constant friction you are having with them. Hi Dana! Try not to see them too much. The more you  see them the more
uncomfortable you get. My husband’s family was always talking bad about
me when they lived close to me but when they left , I felt I could breathe again.
If you and your boyfriend decide to move to another city or state that would
help a lot with the constant friction you are having with them.

]]> By: Lachlan http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/the-sensitive-persons-guide-to-handling-criticism/comment-page-1/#comment-101745 Lachlan Thu, 09 Jun 2011 03:37:59 +0000 http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/the-sensitive-persons-guide-to-handling-criticism/#comment-101745 Great article. Great article.

]]> By: Dana http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/the-sensitive-persons-guide-to-handling-criticism/comment-page-1/#comment-101744 Dana Thu, 09 Jun 2011 03:15:48 +0000 http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/the-sensitive-persons-guide-to-handling-criticism/#comment-101744 I have problems with being criticized a lot. I am white and my boyfriend is Hispanic. We have been dating for about 3 years now and get along great; we plan to marry someday. The problem is with his family. I am very reserved, and so is my family. His family is open, touchy, argumentative, and generally makes me uncomfortable. They constantly criticize me (both in front of me in Spanish, which I can speak more than they know, and behind my back) for being "cold" and "aloof". It really hurts, because I have genuinely tried to be more open, even hugging them (which my family never does with each other). I have told them many times that I am trying to be friendly, but they never believe me. I am simply uncomfortable with people shouting around me and always trying to touch me. What can I do? The criticism is starting to get to me and my boyfriend and I have been having lots of fights lately about it. I have problems with being criticized a lot. I am white and my boyfriend is Hispanic. We have been dating for about 3 years now and get along great; we plan to marry someday. The problem is with his family. I am very reserved, and so is my family. His family is open, touchy, argumentative, and generally makes me uncomfortable.
They constantly criticize me (both in front of me in Spanish, which I can speak more than they know, and behind my back) for being “cold” and “aloof”. It really hurts, because I have genuinely tried to be more open, even hugging them (which my family never does with each other).
I have told them many times that I am trying to be friendly, but they never believe me. I am simply uncomfortable with people shouting around me and always trying to touch me.
What can I do? The criticism is starting to get to me and my boyfriend and I have been having lots of fights lately about it.

]]> By: Namumbya Justin Ntule http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/the-sensitive-persons-guide-to-handling-criticism/comment-page-1/#comment-98738 Namumbya Justin Ntule Wed, 11 May 2011 12:44:53 +0000 http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/the-sensitive-persons-guide-to-handling-criticism/#comment-98738 Thank you for this article.I think you gave a real solution to me. Sometimes i feel am overly sensitive. May be it is because of what i encountered as a child. Namumbya Justin Ntule Thank you for this article.I think you gave a real solution to me. Sometimes i feel am overly sensitive. May be it is because of what i encountered as a child.

Namumbya Justin Ntule

]]> By: Namumbya Justin Ntule http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/the-sensitive-persons-guide-to-handling-criticism/comment-page-1/#comment-98737 Namumbya Justin Ntule Wed, 11 May 2011 12:43:32 +0000 http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/the-sensitive-persons-guide-to-handling-criticism/#comment-98737 Thank you for this article.I think you are gave a real solution to me. Sometimes i feel am overly sensitive. May be it is because of what i encountered as a child. Namumbya Justin Ntule Thank you for this article.I think you are gave a real solution to me. Sometimes i feel am overly sensitive. May be it is because of what i encountered as a child.

Namumbya Justin Ntule

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