The Secrets Of How To Boost Your Charisma

Written by Jon Rhodes - 15 Comments
Categories: self improvement

Charisma can help you in many aspects of life.  It can help you win friends, be popular with the opposite sex, and even land that new exciting job.  There is almost nothing that charisma can’t help you achieve.  For some, it is very natural to be charismatic.  They just seem to have that ‘X-Factor’.  However it is comforting to know that charisma can also be developed.  Here are 4 top methods to help boost your charisma…

1. Have goals you are working towards

There are a lot more followers than leaders, so if you want to stand out then be a trailblazer.  There is nothing wrong with being a follower, but people are naturally drawn to leaders.  Set yourself goals to work to.  Have a sense of purpose and a vision – a big goal that you are working towards.  You may or may not succeed to meet your goal, or it might change over time, but if you always have one, people will naturally feel drawn to you as you present the possibility of an exciting future.

Don’t simply pretend to have a goal as people will quickly see through you and you will lose all credibility.  In any case it is far more satisfying to spend life attempting to meet realistic goals.

2. Love yourself

If you don’t like yourself, how do you expect others to like you?  Unconsciously you give out thousands of small subconscious clues on how you should be treated, and it all begins with treating yourself right.

You need to learn to appreciate that you are a unique and valuable human being.  Accept yourself as you are.  It’s fine to have some flaws.  You can work on improving them.  However it must be remembered that the most charismatic people on earth are the ones with flaws.  Someone who is perfect is not really all that interesting anyway.  People are drawn to people, not robots.  Be happy with who you are, wart and all.  Love yourself and others will soon follow suit.

3. Be honestly interested in others

You must have met many people who talk incessantly about themselves?  This may be OK at first, but after a while it becomes very tiresome and you just want to avoid them.

Charismatic people appreciate other people just as much as they appreciate themselves.  Relax and listen properly to what other people are saying.  Give them space to talk.  You will learn new things, and they will notice and appreciate that you actually listen to them.  The Chinese have a saying which is “You have two ears and one mouth – use them in that proportion.”

Some people struggle concentrating on listening to others, and become anxious that they may forget what they are thinking next.  This causes them to not listen properly to what the person was saying, as they struggle to remember what they want to say, then immediately respond to what they say with something totally irrelevant.  This will not win yu too many fans, and is irritating to the recipient.  Relax, allow that thought to disappear, and listen.  This thought will return if it is still relevant.  If it is so important, you will remember it again some time in the future.  With a little practice listening becomes much easier, and you will enjoy far more productive two way conversations.

4. Model someone who you consider very charismatic

Hypnotherapists and NLP practitioners often very successfully utilize this technique.

It could be a friend, a celebrity, or even a fictional character that you model.  You may wish to be like James Bond for example.  Don’t try and copy them exactly, just consider how they would act in the situations you face.  You have to sometimes be careful with this as it may not be appropriate to blow up the whole building up with your watch, or do a flying kick to the face a la Bruce Lee!  Get a ‘feel’ of a certain character, and how they work on the inside.  Try to catch their essence, rather than exactly cloning them.  Done with thought and care this can significantly raise your charisma levels.

So remember you must have goals that you are working towards, love yourself, listen to others, and model yourself on other charismatic people.  Try to be charismatic, but don’t try too hard.  Watch other people and observe what they ‘get right’ and what they ‘get wrong’ in the charisma stakes.  This will greatly increase your awareness over time, and help hone your skills.  Pretty soon you will notice huge strides in charisma levels, and your success and enjoyment of life will also soar.  Now get out there and wow the world with your new charming charismatic self!

Jon Rhodes is a Guest Blogger for PickTheBrain and a successful clinical hypnotherapist from the UK.  If you are interested in self improvement, click here for details of his very popular therapeutic sessions.

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  • Swati

    Hi Jon,
    That was an interesting article.I totally agree with the last point.I subconsciously keep the character traits of the people I admire and try to emulate them. This has been a really powerful process in terms of the changes it has brought in me.

  • Pol

    A lot of very sucessful leaders have been charismatic. I believe Hitler was (and many good people too) but I find myself very conscious of getting carried along by charismatic people. I deliberately question the motives and morality of charismatic people as it can be harder to spot the bad motives. I try to avoid voting for charismatic people.

  • http://twitter.com/beckybooks Becky

    I agree with you Pol, nothing is more irritating when I spot a ‘fake’ person. However I have met a lot of genuine people who have a lot of charisma, and it is these people that I admire most- truly have a love and interest for all people and want to become more like. I also find myself trying to model their behavior. I just read a book titled, “Natural Success Principles,” by Jack Hatfield that has taught me some great success principles to use in my daily life, and have found that they have been very helpful to me. I truly want to become more of a social and charismatic person.

  • http://www.HypnoBusters.com Jon Rhodes

    Yes, I understand what you are saying. Charismatic people are more powerful and influential. This power unfortunately can sometimes be abused, but this is not always the case. People such as Mahatma Gandhi, Nelson Mandela, and Malcom X, all used their powerfully magnetic charisma’s to fight for what they believed was right, and in the process they were the catalysts for some massive influential changes.
    So I would say be wary of charismatic people, try to look beyond the ‘hype’ but don’t shut them off as they are not necessarily bad people.

  • http://www.mysticworship.com Ramesh Raghuvanshi

    All you wrote how to boost your charisma is nonsense. Honesty ,intigraty,and whole heartly love to life.These three quaily reqire for good living.
    Chrisma is myth or say illusion.manipulation of the reality and make people fool.I hate this kind of people.

  • http://anitacmccants.blogspot.com Anita C. McCants

    I prefer people to just be themselves.
    When you try to be like someone else
    you might come across as phony or insecure.
    If they have issues that’s hurting their
    relationship with family, friends, co-workers,
    etc., then work on overcoming those issues.

  • http://www.myeclatcoach.com Prabhjot Bedi

    I liked the post and used it as a thought to write one too,

    http://www.myeclatcoach.com/2009/08/be-flame-not-moth-casanova.html

    cheers!

  • http://improveminduniversity.blogspot.com jonathan figaro

    Self liking can be created through repetition of phrases. Choosing to speak to your self more positivity transforms you into a more positive person right before your eyes. Acting with genuine kindness, with a great big smile will increase your communication skills over night. A smile displays 100 phrases in one action. It shows self-confidence, personality, and charisma.

    Here is tip for loving your self.

    Repeat the affirmation (I like my self), within your mind or out loud with positive emotion. Do this exercise every morning and night so your subconscious can absorb your last and first thoughts of the day. Remember you have to feel the emotion of actually liking yourself. Don’t repeat the phrase with dull, unemotional speech. Perform this method for 10 – 20 days, as you will begin to like yourself so much, masturbation maybe a problem for you…lol
    But seriously, this will help you to enjoy become more comfortable in your own skin.

    “Be yourself, Everyone else is taken”
    – Oscar Wilde

  • http://www.findinspirationtoday.com mike

    The most important part of your post is to set goals. Not to impress people or give yourself something to talk about – but to truly go after your dreams and life desires. When you set goals and track your progress you are essentially writing your own story – and you are directing that story…

  • http://www.free-speed-reading.com/ Bob

    I think that for me, it’s easy to be charismatic with most people. I approach people based on some kind of stereotype I make of them when I meet them, and I approach them in the way that I think they want to be approached. TO an older man, I’ll be very deferential, while to an older woman, I’ll be helpful and respectful. I think that this really makes people like you a whole lot more, stand out, and be memorable for the right reasons.

  • http:///www.positivewayoflife.com Josten

    Being honestly interested in people is a definite plus. They can tell when you are being fake and unreal with them. Also pretending to have goals will imo lower ones self esteem.
    Great post

  • http://www.2knowmyself.com farouk

    nice post, especially point number 2, i guess self doubts are one of the strongest reasons people aren’t charismatic

  • http://pointyhairpride.blogspot.com Joseph Scandura

    Having a strong personality and self-confidence helps. If you don’t have strong convictions, you come across as weak and indecisive, which detracts from charisma.

  • Nilla

    To point #3, it’s so easy to lose interest in people who talk a lot. I’m a very shy person and tend to listen attentively to people, however I find that most people are so self-absorbed and aren’t interested in a two way conversation that I lose interest and don’t even want to respond. The hardest struggle for me is being in groups of 3 or more. It’s hard for me to get one word in and I usually just sit there and listen to the conversation. I find that a lot of charismatic people laugh out loud and I’m a quiet laugher (generally just smile). I don’t see how changing my laugh wouldn’t come across as being fake if I follow your point #4. Oh and to Bob, it’s so easy for old people to like friendly people, it’s getting the younger people to like me that’s the challenging part.

  • Dimitar

    You look so charming with this broad smile. You don’t need tips on improving your charisma, Swati