The mind’s influence over mental and physical well being is a fascinating and powerful subject. If we could control our thoughts, we could become happier and healthier without any external change.Gary van Warmerdam has written an extensive article on how the mind affects happiness that explains the relationship between the physical world and the internal world of thoughts and emotions:
As humans we live in two worlds. There is the external physical world of work, family and friends that we travel in. Then there is the world of our mind and imagination. It is a virtual reality that can appear and feel just as real. When it comes to your emotions the virtual world of your mind can be more real.
He goes on to explain how internal goals and accomplishments make us happier than material success, and proposes some ways you can become happier by detaching from the external world.In a similar vein, the SharpBrains blog posted some ways to train your brain for happiness by controlling what you pay attention to:
Every second, you choose what to pay attention to. You can focus on the negative and thereby train your brain to focus on the negative. You can choose to watch TV five hours in a row, thereby training your brain to become a passive spectator of events. Or you can do the opposite. Attention works outwards and inwards: you can pay attention to your own meaningful emotions or try to ignore them. Many times we are not aware of the choices we are really making and their implications, which is why practices like mindfulness meditation can help.
Ask the Readers
Both articles make powerful suggestions for becoming happier, but how much can we really control? Is it possible to think yourself happy? If so, how did you do it?
(5 votes, average: 4.8 out of 5)
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Personally, I think both is partially true. You can’t control the thoughts that pop into your head, but it is possible to decide to continue with them or not.
Hi John,
I don’t know if we can just think ourselves happy, but we can think and act ourselves into fulfillment.
Happiness is one of those words that tries to contain meanings at so many levels it is hard to get a grip on it. It’s an emotion (a reaction), an attitude (an active state), and a deep sense of fulfillment. We tend to confuse the three.
Earlier this year I wrote a relevant series you may find interesting. It starts at Happiness, Emotion, and Fulfillment.
Rich,
I agree that happiness is a vague word. Looking back on it, I should have phrased the question a bit more specifically.
It may have just confused us if you did, John.
This, and the articles you reference in your post, points up an important issue. We just don’t know what we mean when we say we say we want to be happy. Like the old saying goes, it’s hard to get there if you don’t know where you’re going.
I tend to pursue contentment over happiness. It sounds like I am splitting hairs, but I link happiness with the presence of a person or experience and contentment with being satisfied with your life.
NB. The quote from The Dhammapada, (a collection of teachings by Buddha), that “contentment is the greatest treasure,” is a more poetic way of expressing my point of view!
Well, since Cheerful Monk is devoted to happiness as a spiritual practice, I do have a few thoughts on the subject. Check out
Happiness, the Purpose of Life?,
It’s a Magical World, and
The Secret of Happiness.
The story of Dr. Randy Pausch is also relevant.
Easier said than done, but probably worth a try. But I think that there are only certain times when we can think ourselves happy, such as by detaching ourselves about the outside world, not thinking about the things that make us feel bad, or seeking distractions to keep the blues away. However, when reality starts to rear its ugly head, that’s when we realize that the world isn’t always as we have always imagined. People have prejudices, injustice is everywhere and there are things that simply out of our control but they do dramatically affect our lives.
How do you deal with it then? Can you just tell yourself that it’s not happening? That you can tell yourself that things will be alright? Somethings don’t get better…you just kind of get used to what’s in front of you.
Kaye,
How is our being unhappy going to help? Happiness doesn’t come by ignoring things, it comes from focusing on the things we can change. It comes from figuring out what we love and sharing it with other people. It comes from making a contribution. Why be happy when so many things are wrong in the world? Because happiness is empowering.
I believe that we can influence our wellfeeling by changing our point of view on the world, however I think that it is much harder to do when overwhelmed with some kind of emotion. I know it is easy to convince myself that I have done well if I’m slightly annoyed with how my day went. However it is not so easilly done if I feel that the World is going to end, how disappointed I am with something. Still I think that trainig the brain can change that.
That’s an interesting point, Kibrika. It’s much easier to control one’s thoughts when we’re not seething with emotion. Those situations take much more practice and discipline.
I don’t try to control my thoughts when things go wrong. Yes, I am seething with emotions. So I go into the compassionate listener mode. The feelings and thoughts need to be welcomed and embraced. That doesn’t mean I believe everything I think and feel, it just means they need some gentle attention and respect. Then they change by themselves.
What a delightful and HOPEFUL exchange. Maybe the world IS evolving like Eckhart Tolle suggests!
Exchanging ideas and thoughts enlightens one to know more information. its like getting help without visiting psychiatrist.
……………………………
sara lee
Drug Alcohol Rehab
drugalcoholrehab.net/