You wake up in the morning and determine to be happy, but your happiness can be short- lived because of other factors not within your control and they are sending negative signals to disturb your peace of mind. To be totally happy you have to handle the three components of happiness well. The three components are resolution, reaction and relation. Let’s take a look at each and every one in detail.
This is at a personal level. Things are within your control. You make up your mind either to attract or repel happiness. Check the following:
- Choice: You decide and you make a choice. Do you want to be cheerful or grumpy to start a new day?
- Health: Health and happiness go hand in hand. Happiness promotes good health and good health enhances happiness. It is up to you to treat your own body with care or to ruin it.
- Emotions: Again, you make a wise choice. Are you thinking of kindness, forgiveness or anger, resentment and bitterness?
- What have you: Are you happy with what you have or you decide to be happy only when you have a more expensive car and a bigger house? Happiness and contentment are making the best use of what you have and enjoying it now.
- Financial situation: Are you in debt? Do you live on credit to satisfy your wants in life? Can you sleep soundly at night because during the day creditors are after you for money. Happiness is debt free and living within your means.
- Your self-esteem: Are you appreciative of your self-worth. Are you happy as what you are with your strengths and weaknesses? Be proud of yourself and love yourself without reservation.
- Work: Do you enjoy your work or do you have to go to work? Your work is not an issue, just change your attitude and find happiness in your work.
At this level things are not within your control. What is within your control is your response and reaction:
- Looking at the bright side of things: Do you see problems as challenges or nuisance? When you are out of job do you curse and swear or take the opportunity to improve yourself so that you are more marketable?
- Handle stressful situation: Angry at having too much work to do? Do not aggravate the situation by making the situation more stressful. Leave your negative emotions aside and just be mindful and concentrate on one task at a time to complete the job. If it has to be done why not do it wholeheartedly and happily?
- Mistakes and humiliation: Accept the mistake gracefully and promise yourself not to repeat the mistake instead of putting the blame on others. Tomorrow is a brand new day. Just do the right thing. What is done cannot be undone.
There is a two-way traffic at this level. It is about how you go about interacting with others and what the responses are like:
- Family: A harmonious family is teamwork. Every one in the household is supporting one another to bring peace and happiness at home. Trust and integrity is highly valued and transgression is not acceptable. When you look after the interests of family members, you sleep at night not only with a soft pillow but with a clear conscience as well.
- At the workplace: Paying attention to your co-workers and looking into their welfare pay dividend. You are noticed and appreciated by others.
- Social connection: Are you friendly and responsive? Always wear a smile and acknowledge the presence of others. Listen carefully when someone is talking to you and find out what you can do for him or her.
- Random acts of kindness: It is all very simple just by saying a few kind words to people you meet. It costs you nothing but it brings delight and happiness to others. Simple words like telling the receptionist at the counter that her dress is pretty and compliment your coworker that his new hairstyle is marvelous. Just pay attention to others and find out the good things to say. I am sure by doing it you are happy too.
Total happiness is about managing yourself positively, react to events positively and relate to others positively.
Charles Chua is a freelance writer and runs the blog All About Living with Life.