self improvement

The 3 R’s To Total Happiness

You wake up in the morning and determine to be happy, but your happiness can be short- lived because of other factors not within your control and they are sending negative signals to disturb your peace of mind. To be totally happy you have to handle the three components of happiness well. The three components are resolution, reaction and relation. Let’s take a look at each and every one in detail.

RESOLUTION

This is at a personal level. Things are within your control. You make up your mind either to attract or repel happiness. Check the following:

  • Choice: You decide and you make a choice. Do you want to be cheerful or grumpy to start a new day?
  • Health: Health and happiness go hand in hand. Happiness promotes good health and good health enhances happiness. It is up to you to treat your own body with care or to ruin it.
  • Emotions: Again, you make a wise choice. Are you thinking of kindness, forgiveness or anger, resentment and bitterness?
  • What have you: Are you happy with what you have or you decide to be happy only when you have a more expensive car and a bigger house? Happiness and contentment are making the best use of what you have and enjoying it now.
  • Financial situation: Are you in debt? Do you live on credit to satisfy your wants in life? Can you sleep soundly at night because during the day creditors are after you for money. Happiness is debt free and living within your means.
  • Your self-esteem: Are you appreciative of your self-worth. Are you happy as what you are with your strengths and weaknesses? Be proud of yourself and love yourself without reservation.
  • Work: Do you enjoy your work or do you have to go to work? Your work is not an issue, just change your attitude and find happiness in your work.

REACTION

At this level things are not within your control. What is within your control is your response and reaction:

  • Looking at the bright side of things: Do you see problems as challenges or nuisance? When you are out of job do you curse and swear or take the opportunity to improve yourself so that you are more marketable?
  • Handle stressful situation: Angry at having too much work to do? Do not aggravate the situation by making the situation more stressful. Leave your negative emotions aside and just be mindful and concentrate on one task at a time to complete the job. If it has to be done why not do it wholeheartedly and happily?
  • Mistakes and humiliation: Accept the mistake gracefully and promise yourself not to repeat the mistake instead of putting the blame on others. Tomorrow is a brand new day. Just do the right thing. What is done cannot be undone.

RELATION

There is a two-way traffic at this level. It is about how you go about interacting with others and what the responses are like:

  • Family: A harmonious family is teamwork. Every one in the household is supporting one another to bring peace and happiness at home. Trust and integrity is highly valued and transgression is not acceptable. When you look after the interests of family members, you sleep at night not only with a soft pillow but with a clear conscience as well.
  • At the workplace: Paying attention to your co-workers and looking into their welfare pay dividend. You are noticed and appreciated by others.
  • Social connection: Are you friendly and responsive? Always wear a smile and acknowledge the presence of others. Listen carefully when someone is talking to you and find out what you can do for him or her.
  • Random acts of kindness: It is all very simple just by saying a few kind words to people you meet. It costs you nothing but it brings delight and happiness to others. Simple words like telling the receptionist at the counter that her dress is pretty and compliment your coworker that his new hairstyle is marvelous. Just pay attention to others and find out the good things to say.  I am sure by doing it you are happy too.

Total happiness is about managing yourself positively, react to events positively and relate to others positively.

Charles Chua is a freelance writer and runs the blog All About Living with Life.

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  • http://www.peopleskillsdecoded.com Eduard @ People Skills Decoded

    Interesting. The 3 R’s seem to cover a quite large dynamic, from the intrapersonal to the interpersonal. I can see why they are so important.

  • http://www.cumalu.com Nate Chastain

    I’m going to be honest: I didn’t particularly care for this article. I don’t think that guides like this are really practical, because it’s difficult to readily incorporate the advice given here into one’s lifestyle. It could be argued that readers just absorb this information, but I doubt that’s the case. I think the personal development industry itself needs to stop realying ambiguous advice like this to its readers.

    Also, I would argue that lasting happiness can only come from solving your problems in concrete ways. You can’t solve your problems simply by “choosing to be happy.”

    Let me know what you think. I’m open to discussing this further.

  • http://www.OptimisticJourney.com Jarrod@ Optimistic Journey

    Happiness is all about choice I agree. After all its an emotion and emotions come and go. I have to remind myself to view obstacles as challenges instead of as a nuisance.

    Thanks for sharing!!

  • Pol

    Whilst I agree with Nate above that you cannot solve your problems by just chosing to be happy, I have met people radiant with happiness and burdened by many problems. They have chosen to be happy and whilst they still have problems, they are chosing an approach which limits the damage those problems do to themselves. Also, I am sure we all know someone with quite a cushy life who is really miserable and it seems to be mainly down to a choice of attitude. I think this is quite a good article. Of course some of it is easier said than done but then some things are worth working on!

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  • http://www.richardshelmerdine.com/blog/ Richard | RichardShelmerdine.com

    Nice article. I really enjoyed it. Look at everything as a challenge that will make you a stronger person and the world is your oyster as they say.

  • http://www.mastery-journey.com outstanding

    You look at all of the external things that are around you and base your happiness on what you currently observe. You look at the behaviors of others and think that if that person changes it will make you feel better. Your job or business would be better if your co-workers or business associates would just see things your way. Your relationships with a spouse, child or loved one would be perfect if they would do the right things that you think they should do. This is what causes unhappiness because you cannot control what other people think or do. Please read that last sentence again and just think about it! Whenever you were not happy was it was because of what someone else did to you, or did not do for you?

    If you want to find happiness within yourself you must first start to find things that you can appreciate and be thankful for and then understand the gift that you possess from the inside does not depend upon others. You will then start to notice that happiness will be all around you because you getting closer to your Divine Source or GOD
    thanks for sharing

  • http://www.valwilcox.com Val Wilcox

    What a wonderful post about utilizing the correct mind set. The three R’s does say it all. The way you think about things does affect how you feel. Keeping balance between these three R’s will keep the positive energy flowing.

    thanks so much for sharing this,
    Val

  • http://tranquil.ru Nils

    You have no direct control over your inner feelings. Obstacles are buried deeply inside you. Neither in the family nor in your surroundings.

  • http://nlp-way.com/free-covert-hypnosis-techniques.html Free Covert Hypnosis

    It is quite obvious to witness an individual who is always looking at other than the right way to seek for total happiness. Total happiness is growing inside each individual, and the starting point for the individual to expand and extend this wonderful feeling, glowing outside himself or herself.

    In fact he or she is able to sustain total happiness by opting to choose it, as a natural preference throughout his or her life.

  • http://enlightr.com Craig Thomas

    Nice post – nicely laid out. I’ve been trying recently to give random acts of kindness and it really does work. I smile every time, sometimes for a long time after. :)

  • http://in-global.net/ Dena

    My opinion is that the feeling of happiness is persistently resting inside us, despite anything. The catch is to feel it really, ignoring nuisances, momentary troubles that attacking us time to time.

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  • http://www.energysmartindustry.com Led Retrofit

    This is at a personal level. Things are within your control.

  • http://www.deanbreaker.com/ Martin

    Nice post – nicely laid out. I’ve been trying recently to give random acts of kindness and it really does work. I smile every time, sometimes for a long time after. :)

  • http://www.spicesauce.com/ Jeff

    What a wonderful post about utilizing the correct mind set. The three R’s does say it all. The way you think about things does affect how you feel. Keeping balance between these three R’s will keep the positive energy flowing.

    thanks so much for sharing this,
    Val

  • http://www.enemyrose.com/ Brad

    My opinion is that the feeling of happiness is persistently resting inside us, despite anything. The catch is to feel it really, ignoring nuisances, momentary troubles that attacking us time to time.

  • http://www.guiltymethod.com/ Dave

    It is quite obvious to witness an individual who is always looking at other than the right way to seek for total happiness. Total happiness is growing inside each individual, and the starting point for the individual to expand and extend this wonderful feeling, glowing outside himself or herself.

    In fact he or she is able to sustain total happiness by opting to choose it, as a natural preference throughout his or her life.

  • http://www.northorigin.com/ Dennis

    What a wonderful post about utilizing the correct mind set. The three R’s does say it all. The way you think about things does affect how you feel. Keeping balance between these three R’s will keep the positive energy flowing.

    thanks so much for sharing this,
    Val

  • http://www.scarletcult.com/ Matt

    Nice post – nicely laid out. I’ve been trying recently to give random acts of kindness and it really does work. I smile every time, sometimes for a long time after. :)

  • http://www.geekcomic.com/ Bill

    My opinion is that the feeling of happiness is persistently resting inside us, despite anything. The catch is to feel it really, ignoring nuisances, momentary troubles that attacking us time to time.

  • http://geraniumoilshop.com/index.php Geranium oil

    What a wonderful post, And the girl in the photo is so lucky :)

  • http://flawlessconfidence.com Martin K.

    Random acts of kindness – this is a very cool tip! It’s very easy to feel happy if you make someone else feel happy. Be a kind person and you’ll bring more positivity into your life!

  • http://respectedlife.org/ Chrissie

    I really needed to see this . I think my biggest problem is stress. Thanks for the tips!

  • D_city2000

    Excellent read!

  • D_city2000

    Excellent read!

  • D_city2000

    Excellent read!

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