One of the most common techniques used for building self esteem is the use of affirmations. Affirmations are things you tell yourself on a regular basis to “affirm” your personal strength, beauty and value. Affirmations are great, but unless there is a real belief in what the words represent, they will do nothing for your true self esteem. To get at your true self esteem, you must dig a bit deeper; and for this purpose I recommend writing about your life.

The Brain Dump and Building Self Esteem

Ever since I started “brain dumping”, I became a big believer in its power. A brain dump is simply a process used to get all of your thoughts out of your head. The goal is to bring out all of your conscious and subconscious worries, fears, and doubts so that they do not eat away at you over the course of your day.

Each little morsel of your brain is valuable real estate. Part of your brain holds the knowledge you will use to solve problems. Part of your brain holds thoughts and feelings of happiness and excitement. Part of your brain holds your potential for creativity.

The more space in your brain that is taken up by worry, doubt, frustration, sadness, etc.; the less space you will have available for positive thoughts. This is where the brain dump becomes important.

To achieve a successful brain dump all you have to do is get out a pen and notebook and start writing. Just keep writing until you are finished. I like to write for at least 20 minutes, but sometimes it takes longer to get out all the mind-sapping troubles.

If you have a problem in the forefront of you mind, start writing about it. Keep the pen moving until you have gotten all of your thoughts out on paper. Write whatever is on your mind, no matter how ridiculous or pointless it may seem. You are not going to be graded on this. No one will ever read it. You won’t even read it. It’s simply a matter of getting your thoughts out of your head.

Once they are out of your head, you will have freed up some valuable real estate to begin building positive thoughts.

Building Self Esteem Post-Brain Dump

Now that your brain is dumped, you are primed to begin building self esteem. This is where your affirmations will be more useful. But I’m going to take the idea of an affirmation a step further. I want you to take a few affirmations and write about them as a part of your life. Do this immediately after your brain dump.

Here is an example of such an exercise:

Affirmation: I have the power to be happy.

I have the power to be happy. I have the ability to allow myself to be happy. I understand that my negative thoughts, worries, and fears have no power over me. I realize that at any time I can flip these negative thoughts and emotions into positive ones. I see the world in a unique way, a way in which no one else can see it. This tells me that I have the power to control the way in which I view things. This power includes the power to allow myself to be happy even when things aren’t going perfectly around me. Today, the weather isn’t so nice. It’s raining outside, but that doesn’t have to stop me from being happy. I have a lot of work to do today. This gives me an opportunity to create great things, so I will put my full self into my work. I may be all alone right now, but that will not last forever. There are a lot of people in this world that care about me, some of whom I may not even know right now. I will go out and find these people. And when I do, I have the power to be happy with them.

Do you see how I expanded upon a simple affirmation and made it personal? I then took some examples of things that may normally challenge this affirmation and displayed for myself the power of the affirmation when it is utilized. This fosters belief. This builds power.

This builds a true, free-willed self esteem.

Belief in Self Esteem

Once you’ve accessed your true self esteem, it becomes time to utilize it. The utilization of true self esteem is a belief in your power. Once you believe in your power, you will walk through life glowing with a real aura of self esteem and self confidence.

Remember, self esteem is not dependent on outward things or other people. Self esteem is dependent upon the way you view your life. You have the power to view your life in a positive way. This power is a gift. Give this gift a try and you will begin to want to use it more and more.

Self esteem and self confidence go hand-in-hand. They are both a matter of belief and trust in your power and ability, and they are a realization of your beauty as a unique and special person. Make good use of these powers and you will experience a great life.

Matt Maresca is a writer, entertainer, and motivator. His goal is to help others experience life for all its great potential. On his website and blog at MyLifeMotivation.com, you will find self improvement advice, including topics such as building self esteem and self confidence.

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Do you enjoy writing – or dread it?

I write for a living, and I also coach writers and would-be writers, so I know just how tough it can be to get up the motivation and the courage to write.

But in almost every job, you’re going to have to do some writing. You might also want to write for personal reasons: perhaps you’d like to write your memoir for your grandchildren, or you’re keen to write fiction or a blog.

How can you make writing seem less terrifying – and more fun?

#1: Write About What’s On Your Mind

This is something which I still do from time to time, even though writing’s usually pretty effortless for me – and I know a lot of other people find it useful too.

Write for ten minutes without stopping (set a timer) about any topic you like. You could write about your day, your worries, your workload … anything. You don’t even need to write in whole sentences. The idea is just to get the words flowing: get used to typing onto a blank page and filling it with your thoughts.

No one will ever see these getting-going pieces that you write. You can delete them if you like, or you can save them so you can look back at them in future.

#2: Try a Writing Challenge

Writing can seem like a big, serious thing to do. It doesn’t need to be that way at all – in fact, writing is an act of creativity and it can be a lot of fun.

If you’re looking for a way into writing, try out a writing challenge which gives you a prompt of some sort. You could give Creative Copy Challenge a go – the idea is to create a short, coherent piece by using all the words supplied, and you can make it as crazy as you want!

#3: Come Up With Ideas Separately

One of the biggest struggles that I hear from the writers I coach is getting started. Often, they end up staring at a blank page for ages, because they’re not sure what to write about. I know just how daunting this can be … but thankfully, it’s also pretty easy to fix.

Instead of sitting down and trying to come up with something to write about, make sure you’ve already got a stock of ideas. You can jot these in a notebook whenever you think of them, or even set aside time to deliberately come up with a list of ideas to write about – challenge yourself to get to 50, and don’t worry whether they’re “good” or “bad”.

#4: Write an Outline First

Even if you’ve got an idea, it can be really tough to write the first few words (and I often advise struggling writers to work on their introduction last). Instead of trying to fill a blank page from top to bottom, write an outline first. It doesn’t need to be in depth – it just needs to give you a framework to hang your writing from.

Your outline might be as simple as:

• A few notes about what needs to happen in this scene of your novel
• Five bullet points which you want to cover in an email to your boss
• Several subheadings for your latest blog post

I like to write my outline into the document which I’m using for the piece itself: that way, the screen’s no longer looking so scary and blank!

#5: Don’t Worry About Your First Draft

When you’re writing, you’ll find that your words rarely come out perfectly the first time. This isn’t because you’re a bad writer – even experienced professionals often go through many drafts. The whole point of a first draft is to get your ideas down onto the page, however imperfectly, so that you’ve got something to work with for the second draft.

No-one ever needs to see your first draft, so don’t censor yourself while you’re writing it. If you find yourself thinking this sentence is convoluted or that’s such a cliché or that’s not quite the word I want, just carry on. You can fix it in the next version.

#6: Experiment With Different Styles

Finally, don’t be afraid to try something new. It often takes a while for newer writers to find their voice (it took me years), so don’t get stuck in writing in just one way.

Trying out different styles could mean:

• Writing something very casual and conversational – this works particularly well for blogging, but could also be great for a first-person novel or even a poem
• Write in a journalistic way – concise and factual
• Write something with lots of grand imagery and metaphor
• Bring more humor to your writing
• Try creating a piece in a similar style to a writer with a distinctive voice

You might later decide that this really isn’t your style, but it’s a great exercise for your writing muscles to try it out.

Do you love writing, or hate it? What are your biggest writing struggles (or triumphs)? Let us know in the comments…

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Maintaining a blog full-time can be a bit stressful, and this stress can sometimes have a restricting effect on your writing. There’s the pressure to produce top content every time you write; there’s the pressure of appealing to your audience; there’s the pressure of always having an opinion or keeping up with industry news.

So, what better way to build up your ability to continue writing every day than to do writing exercises every day! Here are a few ideas for exercises; some of them might not directly relate to what you blog about, but you’d be surprised how simply engaging in the act of writing about anything can be enough to help you write about something later on. If you have more ideas, please feel free to add them in the comments section below.

Dream Journal

One exercise you can follow daily is to keep a dream journal. As soon as you awaken in the morning, spend a few minutes writing about whatever dreams you had last night. Do not try ot make sense of them; simply try to describe them or narrate them as best you can. This writing act will be helpful for clearing your head in the morning, especially if you have to get some serious writing done later in the day. Who knows? Maybe one of those entries could turn into a longer essay in a few weeks when you reread the journal.

Google Image Prompt

Another thing you can try is to keyword search in Google the most popular phrase of the day, or a phrase or word that you cannot get out of your head. Then click on the ‘images’ tab and look at the first image that comes up. You have to write a short story under 1,000 words about or inspired by that image!

Five Minute Blind Write

I like this exercise a lot because it allows me to be messy. Open up your word processor, set your cooking timer to five minutes, and turn off your computer screen. If you have a laptop, cover up the monitor with a thick piece of paper. You have five minutes to write nonstop about whatever. Your fingers must not stop moving, no matter what, even if you’re typing one word over and over again. The idea of this exercise is to dump ever single idea from your brain into a document. Think of it as a way to both clean out your brain and also gather a bunch of ideas for later use.

Comment Box Essay

This exercise is a bit more focused than the others in that it requires you to go to one of your favorite blogs, read the feature article, and write a comment in the comment thread. But, you’re not allowed to post the comment. Instead, you must copy and paste it into your own blog and turn it into a feature length post in response to the original post at the other blog. The idea here is that by changing the context of your writing from the limited field of a comment box, you can find new ways of approaching an issue. Be sure to link back to the original post in order to further enhance the discussion.

Sticky Note Memory

This could be a very fun exercise because it forces you to write an entire story on a tiny sticky note. In fact, it’s sort of the same thing as Esquire‘s Napkin Project. Sticky notes are supposed to be used as reminders, as notes to ourselves that we have something to take care of. But what if you used it to tell a story about a cherish memory? Your own sticky note project could be a daily exercise that requires you to catalogue one memory from your past each day. This self-reflection could help you both become a better, more self-aware person while also giving you ideas for personal essays to write in the future.

Mariana Ashley is a freelance writer who particularly enjoys writing about online colleges. She loves receiving reader feedback, which can be directed to mariana.ashley031@gmail.com.

Procrastination is like leaving the headlights on in a parked car: it’s a slow drain on your mental battery. The longer the lights are on, the harder it is to get the engine started. By continually avoiding doing something you know you need to do, procrastination sucks the energy out of you.
This is doubly true for a task like writing. The longer you procrastinate writing a piece, the harder it becomes to start. However, even if you put off a task for weeks or months, it’s never too late to start. Starting isn’t easy, but it’s doable. The best part: once you start, you’ll usually find the difficulty you imagined is usually worse than the actual work involved.

Procrastination is usually a symptom of some other problem: poor preparation, perfectionism, a fear of failure or rejection, or just a simple lack of motivation and interest.
The reason you left your headlights on isn’t important. Sometimes you’ll just have to deal with a dead battery. But since we need to get that car running as soon as possible, let’s look at some ways to jumpstart that dead car. Consider each of these techniques a different set of jumper cables.

• Organize Your Ideas - Staring at a blank screen with no support materials or written notes is like building a house without a blueprint: the end result will be a mess and it could kill someone. Instead of starting from zero, make a mind map, choose the best ideas, and organize them into an outline. Do all this before you begin drafting.

• Freewrite – Forget about logical flow for a minute. People often procrastinate when they’re unclear about some aspect of their task. When you freewrite, you have a chance to address those missing details and develop a deeper understanding of the piece you want to create.

• Set a deadline – Deadlines add a sense of urgency to your writing task, giving you a clear and compelling reason to finish a piece. Without a deadline, it’s easy to ignore a piece, especially when you’re writing only for yourself.

• Set mini-goals – Writing a 5,000 word piece, one that’ll probably require several hours of work, is a big job. Break this job up. Work in blocks of 500 words or thirty minutes.

• Eliminate distractions – Work in a quiet space. Turn off your cell phone and, if possible, your internet connection. Escape from people who demand your attention. Each distraction pulls your focus away from the task at hand.
• Force it – People mythologize the creation process. They expect some magical power to enter them and imbue them with an unstoppable pen. In reality, the most creative people force themselves to write every day, whether they feel inspired or not. The perfect time is now. Not tomorrow, not next week. Today.

• Don’t worry about getting it right…just get it down – First drafts usually suck. That’s why second, third, and eighth drafts exist. Aim for excellent results, but don’t set the bar too high at first. Having a sloppy but finished first draft is far better than having no draft at all.

Let’s face it: we all procrastinate, especially when it comes to writing. A little procrastination is normal, but by using some of these steps, we can redirect the high beams of our mental energies onto our own work. Start your engines.

Seth M. Baker is a freelance writer, musician, and world traveler currently based in Appalachia. He writes about creativity-related topics at Happenchance.net

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When you’re nine years old, Aunt Jessie presses her powdered face to yours and whispers, “Now don’t you ever tell anyone what you saw. Your mother would just die.”

This is a scary thing to a child—to be entrusted with a secret that has so much power if could kill someone. Aunt Jessie probably didn’t mean to scare you like that, but words have power. Silence in the face of wrong has power. And when we begin to write our memoirs, we can get caught up in the webs of the past. Sometimes these webs are so tangled that we stop writing.

Memoirists struggle with the issue of revealing secrets as they search how to tell their own powerful, and sometimes shameful, truths. Secrets maintain a great power over us, and we are diminished by them. We become co-conspirators to the family dynamics that we don’t agree with and want to break away from. So we get caught in a conflict—to speak or not to speak. To remain closed and complicit, or to open up and take the risk of losing friends and family or shamed once again into submission. These conflicts haunt people all their lives, solidifying the silence. The way out of being trapped in the past is to write our own truths, but first it helps to get clear about the program that lives in our head.

Did you grow up with these rules?

• The truth is always best
• Honesty is the best policy
• Lying is terrible and you’ll be punished

How about these?

• Don’t you dare tell anyone I told you that
• This is a secret you’ll carry to your grave
• If you tell anyone, you’ll go to hell

Are these comments familiar?

• Don’t air the family laundry
• Family business stays behind closed doors
• You have quite an imagination

How confusing! And you want to write a memoir?

Let’s look at some suggestions for how to manage confusion about truth and secrets. First, you need to claim your own truths. Your story is about you—told from your point of view. Your experiences belong to you, and are unique to you, and you have a right to claim them, even if others disagree. Everyone has a unique point of view about events, as each person perceives the world through different eyes. I have known writers, including myself, who got confused about what to write because they were so worried about what others would say and would think about them. Issues of shame and guilt about what they did or who they were, along with potential judgments by others, got in the way of writing. So if you feel shame or guilt, writing can help you to resolve those feelings. I suggest this: write down your memories honestly as you remember them, and share them with no one else while you are in the process of discovery/recovery about the past.

Next, as the voices of your family play tennis in your head—perhaps spouting some of the phrases listed above, write down each one and then answer it back. If the voice says, “That never happened,” write next to it: “This is how I remember it. I claim my own memories.” If it says, “Don’t you dare write those secrets,” say: “I’m writing down what my truth is, I’m doing it for myself right now.”

When we write our truths, we “disobey” the old rules we learned so long ago, and create freedom for who we are now and allow our voice to be heard.

Then and Now

When we write memoir, we become time travelers, stitching back and forth between the narrator author of present time to the child or younger person that we once were.

This back and forth conversation is part of the healing process of writing a memoir, as it helps to integrate past and present. When we sort through memories and come to terms with them, we create new neural pathways. Bringing a new perspective and freedom to our identity and self-expression is freeing and ultimately healing.

Through this process, we create a relationship with ourselves as we both the narrator of the story and the character—the “I” voice in the story. This dual consciousness is part of the healing process, as the narrator helps us to develop a perspective on what happened, and the character “I” gets inside who we were then. When we write in scene, we take a small hypnotic trip to the past and live in our own skin for a while, then come back out to “now.” The process of writing and telling stories, especially if they are shared helps to heal and to change our perceptions of who we were and who we are now.

I tell all my students to be open to writing two versions of the story: first, write for yourself, to clear out your emotional closet, to sort the events that are jumbled up in your mind. Research has shown that this kind of writing is powerful and creates changes in the brain—in other words: it’s healing.
Write your whole first draft in silence, in secret, so that you can finally hear your own voice. Don’t tell anyone you are writing it, and only share it with your supportive writing group or your therapist.

Tips on secrets and truths

1. Protect yourself and your writing by creating a safe, sacred space where you can explore your story and write what you experienced without censure.
2. Write quickly and freely, sometimes called a “freewrite” to flush out your story without the editor or critic in your head having a chance to interfere
3. Don’t delete anything you write. Sometimes the inner critic attacks us after we write, and we are tempted to erase everything.
4. Think of a secret as an infected wound that needs to be drained and opened to healing light and air.
5. Make lists of your dark and light stories. You don’t have to write them until you are ready.
6. Interleaf the “dark” and “light” stories in your life so you don’t get traumatized by dark or painful stories.
7. Keep track of your inner critic’s comments on a separate sheet of paper. Putting the critic on the page and responding to it with positive affirmations defangs it and frees you to write more.
8. A memoir is written in layers. As we explore one layer of memory and experience, others are revealed.
9. Be patient with the process of writing, layering, revealing, and reflecting.

10.  Be brave—write your story!

Linda Joy Myers, Ph.D., MFT, is the President and founder of the National Association of Memoir Writers, and the prize-winning author of The Power of Memoir and Don’t Call Me Mother, along with numerous fiction, poetry, and nonfiction awards. www.namw.org.

The Power of Memoir is available at www.amazon.com or any bookstore.

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How To Write Faster, Better, Easier

I’m a professional writer. I work for blogs and the occasional magazine, and in the past I’ve written for clients who wanted website copy. My fiction has also been published, including a couple of competition prizes. Small successes, perhaps; but even these wouldn’t have happened without a strong level of writing confidence.

Since I write for a number of blogs, I often get questions from would-be writers. Something which crops up frequently is a lack of confidence. Many (surprisingly good) writers never send pieces to an editor, or agonise over every post they write on their own blog.

It doesn’t need to be that way. Good writing isn’t the preserve of a few lucky individuals – after all, none of us were born able to write! And, in the 21^st century, many stifling grammatical “rules” no longer apply. You’re free to write in your own voice and your own style … and you can enjoy it. Here’s how:

Treat Writing As a Skill

Now, I’ll admit that some people do seem to be natural-born writers, just as others have an innate talent for music or art. Writing is a skill, however – one that can be learnt. This could include

• The technicalities of writing (like where to put a comma and how to ensure subject-verb agreement). If your grasp of grammar is shaky, there are lots of books that can help.
• Writing style and fluidity. An evening class or a correspondence course, where you get feedback from a tutor, can help you to develop stylistically.
• Voice and purpose. One of the most important things to learn in writing is how to tailor a piece to an audience. This means learning how to write in different tones, from chatty to professional to motivational.

Good writers spend time learning and honing their craft, which gives them true confidence – because they know their skills are up to scratch.

Practice Regularly

If you’ve ever learnt to play an instrument, or studied a foreign language, you’ll know how important it is to practice. Even if your first attempts are faltering, you quickly get better. It’s just the same with writing: the more you write, the better you’ll become.

Writing practice could include:

• Exercises or “writing prompts” to help you get into the flow of writing regularly
• Trying out different styles, voices and tones in your writing
• Publishing pieces on a blog or forum
• Entering writing competitions (these are usually, though not exclusively, for fiction and poetry)
• Don’t be put off if your first attempts aren’t all you hoped – and don’t compare yourself to people who’ve been writing for years. Charlie Gilkey has a great post on Productive Flourishing showing how several excellent bloggers have developed confidence and flair as writers: Becoming Yourself and Growing Your Blog.

Try Using a Template

Many writers lack confidence because they’re not sure how to structure a piece. Starting at a blank page, wondering where and how to start, is unlikely to improve your spirits!

I often use a template when I write. This is usually something very simple: when I write reviews, for instance, I follow a simple structure with several subheadings so that each review has a consistent look and feel. If you adopt a similar practice for articles, essays, reports, blog posts and even emails, it’s a big confidence-booster as it reassures you that you’ve not left anything out.

So where do you find templates? I like to make my own, but you could also find an article, blog post or even a short story that you’ve enjoyed, and work out the structure – then create something which is structured in the same way. For example, you could use this post to make a very simple template:

Title

Introduction

Subheading for point one

Content for point one

Subheading for point two

Content for point two

…

Subheading for point seven

Content for point seven

Concluding line with call to action

Your First Draft Can Be Rubbish

Almost every professional writer will admit (if only secretly) that their first drafts aren’t exactly great. Earnest Hemmingway famously said:

The first draft of anything is crap.

Remember that no-one ever needs to see your first draft. If you write the dullest article in the world, if your blog post is full of typos or if it contains way too much personal information, if your short story has a paper-thin plot and ridiculous dialogue … no-one will ever know.

When you’re drafting, put away your fears of what other people will think, and just write. When I’m writing fiction, my first draft is always a very poor shadow of what I hope the finished product will be: but the point is just to get the story down. Many fiction writers work in a similar way, redrafting extensively:

Once I’ve got the first draft down on paper then I do five or six more drafts, the last two of      which will be polishing drafts. The ones in between will flesh out the characters and maybe I’ll check my research. (Colleen McCullough)

Write Quickly

If you write slowly and carefully, pondering each sentence, then you’re likely to have a crisis of confidence part-way through. Many professional writers draft astonishingly quickly: I have a tutor at my college who confesses that even basic punctuation can get left out in his rush to get draft material onto the page.

Bloggers, journalists (and ex-journalists) are often very speedy writers, used to the pressure of very tight deadlines. Leo Babauta of Zen Habits, explained on Write to Done that:

These days, I post to four different blogs without it taking large chunks of my life away: Zen     Habits, Write To Done, mnmlist.com and now Zen Family Habits. If I allowed perfection and a million other obstacles to get in my way, I’d never be able to get my ideas out there.

(Frictionless blogging: Remove the barriers to publishing)

In many cases, you’ll want to go back and do some editing – but try to make the first draft as seamless and fast as possible. Writing several pages, even if they’re not quite perfect, can be great for your confidence, as it gives you a deserved sense of accomplishment!

Are you a confident writer – or do you find yourself feeling anxious about writing? Have any tips worked well for you? What secrets would you add to this list?

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In many situations in life – especially within a company or within a family – co-operation is a much more powerful principle than competition.

We all have a competitive instinct or drive, though, and many games make the most of this to ramp up the level of fun, excitement and involvement. (Sports, multi-player computer games, and board games all have “winners” and “losers”.)

As well as enjoying being competitive in game and play situations, we can use our natural competitive bent to give ourselves an edge when we’re trying to make gains in our personal life.

I’m going to give just three examples, but I’m sure you can come up with more areas of your life to apply this to (let’s hear them in the comments!)

Eating More Healthily

Perhaps you and your partner, or you and your friend, have tried out various healthy eating or weight-loss plans in the past. More likely than not, these haven’t lasted too long. One of you feels low on will-power, says “Forget it, I’m having a slice of cake!” – and the other person caves in too.

It could go very differently if you introduced an element of healthy competitiveness. I’d caution against competing on something like actual weight lost, as this is influenced by factors such as metabolism, gender and how overweight you were to begin with. Similarly, don’t compete on how far you can both run, or how heavy the weights you can lift are.

Instead, set yourself some competitive goals to reach like:

• Who can hit five portions of fruit-and-veg a day, every day, for a week?
• Who can go for a week without chocolate (or alcohol/cheese/etc…)
• Who can stick to their planned exercise sessions for a month?
• …and so on.

You get the idea. Compete on things which are under your direct control. You’ll be amazed how this can really boost your will-power: knowing that the other person is heading off for their gym session can get you up off the sofa and raring to go – you don’t want to lose!

Saving Money

You might want to do this with a spouse, friend or colleague. The idea is to see who can spend the least or save the most over a period of time. As with eating healthily or losing weight, compete on things which involve meeting targets that you’ve agreed with one another (you don’t necessarily need to have exactly the same targets).

For example:

• Who can go for a week without buying any food out?
• Who can last a whole weekend without spending money?
• How long can you manage without spending a cent on entertainment?
• Who can meet their savings goal for three months running?

As with healthy eating, this can turn something that might otherwise seem like hard work into something fun. Trent writes about this in Making Frugality a Game on The Simple Dollar (a personal finance blog), saying:

If you can turn frugality into a mutual challenge, you can turn something that you might otherwise view as drudgery into something quite fun.

Writing a Novel

There’s an often-quoted adage that “everyone has at least one book in them” – and you may well feel that’s true for yourself. A lot of people have a long-cherished ambition to write a novel, but they never manage to get around to it – or they get started and quickly run out of steam.

Back in 2007, I took part in NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month), where participants take on the challenge of writing a 50,000 word novel in a month. You “win” simply by reaching the word count: it’s an easy measure, and no-one’s going to complain about the quality of your writing, or say that what you’ve written isn’t very novel-shaped.

The desire to get your name on the winners’ list may be enough for you, but if you want to take the competition to a new level, get your friends involved. I wrote alongside @NickMB and @pddluke, and there was a lot of friendly but determined (certainly on my part!) competition.

(I “won”, by the way, pipping them both to the 50,000 word post )

Those are just three big goals which many people have: all of which could be achieved faster (and even more enjoyably!) with a bit of good-natured competition. What goals do you have that you’re not progressing towards as fast as you’d like? Who might you challenge to a competition?

Learn How To Get That Competitve Edge Here!

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Before I began to write, I didn’t fully understand the effects of the past on the present.  Instead, for years, the past appeared in my mind’s eye like faded black-and-white photographs, in which no one, especially me, seemed to be fully alive.

Growing up, I lived a double life.  On the face of it, we seemed like a normal, happy family:  My father had an important career.  We lived in nice houses and wore pretty clothes.  But all this seeming perfection was a veneer, masking the reality that my father sexually molested me, a reality never spoken aloud.

Later, as an adult, I continued to live a double life: this time as a sex addict.  Again, in public, I appeared normal, with a seemingly good marriage.  No one knew that the shiny façade hid dark secrets: I cheated on my husband.

Then I started putting words on the page.  Finally, I chose to examine my past.

In Fearless  Confessions: a Writer’s Guide to Memoir, I encourage you, and you, and you, to explore, through writing, your life, as well.  Whether your childhood was traumatic or not, whether your current life is in disarray, chances are you do have a story to tell.  Whether, say, you’re figuring out a divorce, taking notes about a recent illness, exploring the disruption caused by a parent in the military, or worrying about a visit with an estranged mother, we write memoir to better understand ourselves, as well as to bring a reader with us on our journeys.

Here are five reasons why your life will be improved by writing a memoir, by telling your own story:

One:  Memoir Helps You Understand the Past

I gain much clearer insights about my past when I write, then if I simply sit around thinking about it, in the abstract.  What was the relationship between the sex addiction and being molested by my father?  How did the past cause such emotional devastation?  I discovered the answers to these important questions through the written word.

Writing is a way to interact with—and interpret—the past.  It helps us make sense of events, whether they are traumatic, joyful, or maybe just confusing.  Writing sharpens our senses so that images and details from the past emerge in a new context, one that illuminates events for ourselves as well as for our readers.

Two:  Memoir Organizes Your Life

Just living my life day by day, I never stop long enough to question events.  There’re errands to run, meals to cook—to say nothing of emotional clutter!  Who has time to stop and think about events swirling around us?

Only when I put my everyday life on hold, so to speak, sit down at my computer and write, can I even begin to see a pattern to the rush-and-tumble of life.

Memoir writing, gathering words onto pieces of paper or on a computer, helps us shape our lives.  By discovering plot, arc, theme, and metaphor, we give our lives an organization, a frame, which they would not otherwise have.  Memoir creates a narrative, a life story.

Three:  Memoir Helps You Discover Your Life Force

Before I wrote, while I kept secrets, I didn’t feel as if I were really living my life.  I didn’t have a clear grasp as to who I was.  What, and who, was the essence of “me”?  There are thousands of other incest survivors.  How was my story different?

When writing, if I forge even one good sentence on any given day, I have discovered a kernel of emotional truth.  I feel that life force of “me,” as if it’s my pulse.  To write is to give birth to a more complete self.

There is only one of you.  Your voice is unique.  If you don’t express yourself, if you don’t fully explore who you are, that essence of you will be lost.

Four:  Memoir Helps Others to Heal

One thing I most love about writing memoir, is that it affords me the opportunity to meet many courageous people, still struggling.

For example, after I completed a reading at a library in Athens, Georgia, one woman waited until everyone else had departed.  Approaching me, she was so scared she began to cry.  She confided that I was the first person she’d told that her father had molested her.  She was too traumatized even to tell a therapist.  Why did she confide in me, trust me?  Simply because I had written my story.  Through this meeting, both of us were empowered.

Five:  Confessing, through Memoir, is Good for the Soul

Telling family secrets—any intimate secret—can be scary.  Finally, however, I reached a place where not telling the secrets was worse.  I felt heavy, weighted down.  Finally, then, it was more a relief to write my life, then ignore it.  So even though at times I felt scared or uncomfortable, I ultimately felt a sense of release and power.

In short, with every word the pain lessened.  It was as if I extracted it, one word at a time.

As you challenge yourself, you’ll feel more courageous every day. Writing memoir energizes your psyche, nourishes your soul.

Sue William Silverman is a Guest Blogger for PickTheBrain.  memoir, Love Sick: One Woman’s Journey through Sexual Addiction (Norton), is also a Lifetime TV movie.  Her first memoir, Because I Remember Terror, Father, I Remember You, won the AWP award in creative nonfiction.  She teaches at the Vermont College of Fine Arts and has appeared on such programs as The View and Anderson Cooper – 360.  Her most recent book is Fearless Confessions: A Writer’s Guide to Memoir.  Please visit www.suewilliamsilverman.com.

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It is said that art imitates life. To be able to express oneself creatively is both powerful and fulfilling. True creativity resides within all of us, but because of the power of creativity those that aren’t ‘naturally gifted’ feel intimidated to even try. By breaking down the fundamental layers of creativity, we see that the process of creating art is not only simple, but can be applied to all activities of your life – whether you are organizing a file cabinet or painting a self portrait, these 7 steps will help you find art in all that you do in life.

Imagine you’re painting a picture. You find a nice spot, on the beach. You find an appropriate angle, where you will have an interesting view of the sea, with the beach and a palm tree coming in on one side. In the distance, there is a city skyline. It’s a perfect scene.

Now, many would assume that the creative process involves simply transferring this beautiful image onto a canvas, that this is what it takes to be creative. I’m here to tell you that creativity is in fact a much deeper process than this. It involves many layers of thought and meaning. The good news, is that this in fact makes it easier for anyone to get in touch with their creative side.

The Subject Matter Layer

In this example, nature has already given you a piece of art that anyone with a camera can share. Nobody should have a problem finding this layer. It is simply an observation, something interesting in the world around you. For a story teller, it could be an event that happened, or is imagined. It’s what your piece represents.

The Creation Technique Layer

In a painting, the next layer is the artist’s personal brush technique. A professional photographer will add this layer in a similar way with their choice of lens, filters, exposure etc. A writer will use their practiced techniques of arranging sentences and paragraphs. Any artist’s use of their tool of choice makes their work different from anyone else’s interpretation. This is a special layer of the piece that requires a lot of attention and is developed over an artist’s entire life.

Style is a very important part of this layer. The same image can be drawn in watercolor, charcoal, or pencil. Shading can be rendered in various ways, even the choice of paper is part of the creation technique. In all forms of creativity, including writing and music, there are infinite possibilities for style.

The Perspective Layer

Painting or photographing a picture is only the beginning of a creative exercise. What turns a generic photo into a piece of art, is perspective. The human holding the camera will always be an integral part of the piece.

In the case of our painting, it is the artist with the brush that provides this layer. They can chose how to present the picture. The audience should be forced to ask themselves, even if it is subconsciously, why has the artist chosen this perspective?

The Interpretation Layer

This is the layer where a piece will really begin to stand out. While the artist’s perspective gives a lot of depth and personality, their interpretation is where they have the opportunity to show something that might not be visible at first. Remember our painting. Well, the artist could see the city in the background as tarnishing the beautiful natural scene, and paint it in a way that makes it look grey, dull, maybe even sinister.

In this layer there is much scope to represent the scene in a way that is based on what it means to the artist, and the confines of reality need not be a limitation.

The Depth Layer

Your view of a cityscape from a beach has a lot more to it than meets the eye. Why is that city there? Who lives there? What are their lives like? What is their history? What does the future hold for them? Any of these factors can be brought into the painting if the artist wants to. As a very simple example, if the artists feels that the people of the city have been mistreated, he can draw something into the picture (or emphasize something that is already there) that represents this, such as a person looking sad.

Another way to represent depth is to think about the ways certain parts of the painting interact with each other. For example, the palm tree that frames the city brings shade to the beach, but it is still brighter than the city. Perhaps this illustrates how nature is more forgiving than the hand of man.

The Emotion Layer

All of the other layers will mean nothing, if your piece doesn’t provoke emotion from your audience. Quite often, your other layers will provide this simply with the story they tell, but perhaps they won’t. You should make sure that whatever else is going on with your creation, you think about how your audience is going to feel when enjoying it. It doesn’t matter if they’re happy, sad, angry, or shocked, just as long as they’re not disappointed. The emotion layer is so important it can almost stand on its own without the other layers.

Connecting with your audience emotionally is an art form in itself that takes a lot to master. There are many ways to press people’s buttons so I recommend you research this topic further. Ultimately, you must relate to their hopes and fears. Learn what makes people have certain emotions and incorporate this into your creations in whatever measure you see fit.

You could probably stop here, and you will still have a phenomenal, multi-layered piece of art that stands out to its audience. However, there is one more layer that you can add to your creations. This powerful layer can turn you from a hobbyist into a respected professional.

The Focus Layer

When you feel like you have enough layers to your piece, add one more. This layer does not add to the creation, but actually takes away. It hides many of the details, but those details are still present, underneath. They still affect the characters in our story. We have just focused in on what is important.

Poets understand this layer better than anyone. It is the metaphorical layer – the images they use to hide raw emotions.

Add this layer either by hiding the creation’s true meaning behind a metaphor, or by telling it from a perspective that does not give everything away. Your audience will still see the meaning, but it will give your piece even more depth. This is the magical layer, the layer that transforms an idea into a story.

Anyone can be creative

Although I used a painting as an example, these techniques can be applied to any and every kind of creative outlet. If you’re a writer, take an interesting event and write about it in your own unique style, using the perspectives of your characters. Give your characters history, emotions, and needs, and guide them using your interpretation of the story. Connect to your readers emotionally by relating to their hopes, fears, and dreams. Finally take this story and express it through a metaphorical veil, refining and clarifying the main points of your story.

Never again will you be able to use the excuses “I can’t draw”, or “I can’t play a musical instrument”. Even if you find yourself held back by your lack of creation technique skills, you can now create powerful pieces of art with your utilization of all the other layers. Learn how to bring perspective, meaning and depth to what you see, and you will become a true artist.

Stuart Dobson is a Guest Blogger for PickTheBrain. He is the co-founder of PowerEssence.com.

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90% of writing published online isn’t worth the server space it’s stored on. This is due to lack of purpose and underdeveloped style. Many writers fail to take themselves seriously. Perhaps they underestimate the validity of their ideas or the power of the medium.

Effective writing can be learned by practice and observation. The purpose of this article is to encourage the creation of forceful, passionate writing, the sort of writing people love to read.

1. You write what you read.

Stop reading the same meaningless, repetitive writing everyone else reads. Quality of output directly correlates to quality of input. I’ve noticed the technical quality of my writing and the originality of my ideas sharply decline when I fall into the habit of reading nothing but blogs.

Absorb fresh ideas and sublime style by reading old books, written by masters of language. Then take these ideas and pretend you invented them. You’ll be hailed as a prophet.

The subject matter of the books you read is secondary. The value comes from unconsciously absorbing the style of the author. This is how we learn to write rhythmic sentences and clearly convey meaning. You will also find unexpected inspiration.

2. Avoid balanced views.

When forming an opinion, it is necessary to consider the strengths and weaknesses of alternatives and select the most correct. Many writers use the same method when making an argument.

Unfortunately, this reasonable process makes for weak writing. If you wish to influence readers mentally and emotionally, do not concede the slightest degree of doubt. Overwhelm them with the strength of your conviction.

3. Style is king.

The hearts and minds of readers are won, not by judicious argument, but by force of personality. You aren’t selling an idea alone. You’re selling the authority of the mind that endorses it. Don’t believe for a moment that being in the right outweighs charismatic personality.

4. Unleash your noble scorn.

Digg and Reddit are filled, not with praise for Liberal politicians, but with rabid denunciations of Conservative leadership. Prose writing is most effective when used to expose injustice and unravel misconceptions. Channel your anger and frustration into passionate writing.

This denunciation of the public school system is a great example, and this site has built a well deserved following by expressing disgust.

Scorn is a powerful tool, but it must be used with delicacy. Avoid insulting readers by making broad denunciations that allow them to believe your anger is directed at others. Consider the statement, “The population of the United States is 300 million, mostly fools.” Anyone who reads this will likely agree, considering themselves one of the exceptions.

5. Passion

Passion is the one quality essential to powerful writing. Writing without passion is a sailboat without wind. Whatever you write about, there must be a passion that drives you. The passion that lights your mind on fire and compels you to expose your private thoughts to the world.

Writing with passion leaps off the page. But this sort of writing is rare because we’re afraid of our inspiration. We’re afraid to express ourselves too forcefully, to overstep the bounds of our authority and risk being wrong.

To produce great writing, you must recognize these doubts as the byproduct of innovation. The only writing that matters is writing that challenges popular opinion, writing that changes minds. If you aren’t pushing limits, you aren’t going far enough.

Embrace your passion and share it with your readers. You may offend some, and you may be proven wrong, but unless you take that chance you’ll never make an impression.

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