The most common phobia people have is the “Fear of public speaking”. Some people dread public speaking even more than death. Most of us live with this fear throughout our lives. Being an underrated skill we fail to get proper guidance to overcome our stage fright. As schools and colleges do not provide any training on public speaking, most of us lack the confidence to speak in public when we reach adulthood. Public speaking is necessary for each one of us irrespective of our age or profession. If you are wondering how public speaking can help you in your life, then let me list out some of its benefits–

As public speaking boosts your confidence levels there are more chances of you succeeding at job interviews

You will be more comfortable working in a team and giving effective presentations and seminars in the workplace. This improves your professional life and your relationship with your colleagues.

As a confident speaker you will be comfortable breaking the ice and starting conversations with strangers. This expands your social circle and improves your personal life.

If you are passionate about public speaking then you can also consider being a professional speaker. There are many people out there who make a living out of speaking or use it as a source of additional income.

With all these and many more rewards that it offers don’t you feel it is worth conquering your fear of public speaking? Let us look into some ways to overcome our fear of public speaking.

1. Take the Plunge

The only way you can get over your fear of public speaking is by going ahead and speaking. It might sound counter intuitive but this is true. The longer we wait to do whatever it is that is causing the fear, the more intense our fear would become. So go ahead and give that speech or presentation you have been pondering over for such a long time. Enroll yourself in public speaking groups or organizations like toastmasters club where you get to constantly challenge yourself and move out of your comfort zone. (Check the Toastmasters International website -  http://www.toastmasters.org/ to know more about this organization and to find a club near your area)

2. Mind matters

Dr. Robert Schuller once said “You are what you think about all day long”. This statement is true when it comes to public speaking. We all have this preconceived notion about the things we can do and the things we cannot do. I have heard some people say “Oh…I am such a terrible speaker” When I ask them how many speeches they have given so far, they would say “ Well… none” How can you assume that you are not good at something even before trying it?

Change these self -sabotaging beliefs you are holding in your mind. You can become a good speaker only when you believe you can.

3. Preparation pays

Genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration – Thomas Edison

I remember my initial stages of transformation from a shy and incompetent speaker to a more confident speaker. I would practice my speech around 15-20 times before delivering it in Toastmasters club. This preparation played a major role in alleviating the jitters I would feel on the day of my speech. When you are well prepared you are more confident that your speech would turn out well and this keeps you in a relaxed mode.

Public speaking is not an inborn talent but rather a skill which can be cultivated by anyone. It’s true that for some people it comes naturally but even they have to practice in order to spruce up their skills. I have seen some excellent speakers not doing well due to lack of preparation. A word of caution though – Do not over practice. Preparation should be done well in advance and just relax in the in the last 15-30 minutes before delivering your speech .

4. Know your audience

Get to know your audience. We get nervous when we are speaking in front of a group of strangers. If we were to give the same speech in front of our friends we would not be that fearful. Try mingling with few people in the audience before starting out your speech. This makes you feel that those in the audience are not aliens but people just like you. Apart from relaxing your tension this also helps in improving your connection with the audience.

5. Reach out to like-minded people

The best thing about joining a public speaking group is that you get to meet people who are highly supportive and encouraging. You realize that you are not alone; in fact there are millions of people out there with the same mission as yours. You get inspired by those who have transformed from a timid speaker to a confident speaker. You think “If he is capable of doing it then why not me?” You also learn a lot from the experienced speakers. They will be ready to lend you a helping hand by giving you tips on how they have achieved success. There are also people who can give you some genuine feedback on the areas you are good at and the areas you need to work on.

6. Take criticism positively

We all love to receive compliments but when it comes to criticism we prefer to be on the giving end rather than the receiving end. The successful you are, the more criticisms you will have to handle so learn to handle them with a positive attitude. I have seen people who have given up after receiving few negative comments from their peers. Don’t dwell on your criticisms. When someone‘s giving you a negative feedback take it as an opportunity to learn and grow, not a reason to quit.

7. Persevere

Be patient. Do not expect things to change in a jiffy. Some people might take more time to improve and others might take less. Do not push yourself too hard by comparing yourself with others. Just go with the flow.

8. Let go of the perfectionist in you

There are people who are unable to take the first step, forever waiting to attain a state of perfection. You feel that your speech is not perfect or your preparation is not up to the mark and wait endlessly for the moment when you would feel everything is perfect. But that moment never comes resulting in never ending procrastination. You don’t have to be perfect in order to be good speaker. All that matters is how passionate you are about what you are saying. Just speak from your heart and your audience will appreciate you for your sincerity.

9. Bounce back

Failures are stumbling blocks to success. Let me quote my personal experience here – It was my 9th speech in toastmasters club. After uttering few lines, my mind went blank and I forgot my entire speech.  Standing silent I tried to recollect the speech but could not recall a word. I pulled out the sheet where I had written my speech, went through it for few minutes and then continued the speech from where I had left. It was a bit disappointing at that moment but not as dreadful as we think. Now looking back I am glad to have experienced this. Had this not happened I would not have been overjoyed after successfully delivering my 10^th speech. You learn a lot from your failures. Resist the temptation to give up and keep bouncing back

10. Celebrate your success

We often take our success for granted. Reward yourself for the success you have achieved however small it might be. Give yourself a pat on the back for having the courage to get over your fear. By rewarding yourself you will feel good and stay motivated to take the next step.

Don’t take yourself very seriously. Approach public speaking with a committed yet playful manner. Children rarely experience stage fright because they approach public speaking in a playful manner. They are having fun while doing it. Adopt the same attitude

Let today be the day you take the first step to triumph over your public speaking fear. So go ahead and rock the stage.

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Life seemed so beautiful back then

With my six childhood friends I had so much fun

Everyday seemed new

They taught me all the things I never knew

“Stop dawdling away your time” yelled my parents

Coercing me to ignore their existence

Taming their presence every now and then

I miss my friends named What, Why, Who, Where, How and When

Penning these words in their remembrance

I still hope for their magical reappearance

These words poured into my mind as I sat down to analyze my curiosity quotient. Somewhere deep down our heart we all lament over the loss of wonder and curiosity we had in our lives while we were kids. In fact we secretly crave for the reappearance of this trait, that made our life so exciting back then. Wasn’t it your curiosity that taught you more than anything else when you stepped into this world? The only way a toddler learns about his world is by exploring the things around him out of curiosity. The benefits of curiosity are underestimated and even frowned upon once we step into the adult world.

We fail to realize that curiosity is as important to us as it is to a toddler. If you are aiming for personal growth and experiencing a more fulfilling life then it is worth improving your curiosity quotient.

Why should we be more curious?

Source of Happiness and Motivation

Todd Kashdan , a psychology professor from George Mason University talks about the link between curiosity and happiness in his book “ Curious? Discover the Missing Ingredient to a Fulfilling Life”. He says that curious people have a higher sense of wellbeing. The scientific phenomenon behind this can be explained in the following manner – Curious people are always exploring and trying new things. When we move out of our comfort zone to try something new, our brain produces a chemical known as Dopamine. Dopamine  kicks in whenever we are in an unfamiliar situation. In curious people this high level of Dopamine generates a feeling of wellbeing and keeps them in a constant high-spirited state. Also when we try new activities by overcoming our fear we feel a deep sense of accomplishment which skyrockets our motivation levels.

A Mind stimulant

“I have no special talent. I am only passionately curious” -    Albert Einstein

Curiosity is what separates a mediocre person from a genius. Think of Thomas Edison, Leonardo da Vinci and  Albert Einstein, they were all chronically curious characters. Like our body craving for oxygen, our brain craves for constant stimulation in the form of new experiences and new activities. Lack of such stimulation causes gradual atrophy of brain cells leading to mental ailments like dementia and Alzheimer’s disease. Though some people are naturally curious by nature this trait is not inborn. So the good news is that each one of us can cultivate curiosity. It is like developing a new habit. You might have to consciously make an effort in the beginning. But with repeated practice it would become more effortless and natural. As Maria Mitchell once said  “We have a hunger of the mind which asks for knowledge of all around us, and the more we gain, the more is our desire; the more we see, the more we are capable of seeing.”-

Route to new opportunities

A curious mind attracts new opportunities which are often overlooked by an incurious mind. I would completely agree to this one. Going down the memory lane I feel I would have missed some exciting opportunities had I not taken the first step out of curiosity. As a teenager I was very shy with low confidence levels. One day while I was having a casual chat with my friend, she mentioned about Toastmasters Club(An organization where one gets to hone their public speaking skills). Out of curiosity I joined the club. In a short span of 2 years I have grown from a shy person to a more confident and outgoing person. I have discovered new passions and developed new skills through curiosity. In fact my curiosity to explore the world of writing is what got me to PickTheBrain in the first place.

Route to an exciting life

“Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood” – Marie Curie

“It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power.” – Alan Cohen

The life of curious people is never dull or boring. It is full of action and adventures. Every day there is something new to capture their attention. There are few people who are driven to try dangerous acts like skydiving or cliff diving out of curiosity. Probably this is what gave rise to the adage “Curiosity killed the cat” But Psychologists feel that the positive effects of curiosity still outweigh the negative effects. So curiosity might have killed few cats but it has surely skilled many.

I hope these benefits stirred your curiosity about curiosity. Read further to learn about the ways to improve your curiosity quotient

Ways to improve your curiosity quotient

Ask for more

Understand that you don’t know everything. Statistics say that 42% of college graduates never read another book after college. As we grow up we tend to assume that we know everything and there is nothing more to learn. This clogs our curiosity. To stay mentally agile we should make it a point to make learning a lifelong goal. It is not bad to stay greedy when it comes to learning.

Learning is Fun

The word “Learning” often reminds us of those sweaty palms and never ending jitters we experienced before exams. We often consider learning as something daunting. If you consider learning as a burden you would not be able to take the initiative to learn. Change this mindset by affirming to yourself that “ Learning is fun and exciting”

Observe and Explore

“Everyone and everything around you is your teacher”– Ken Keyes

Use all your senses to understand the people and the world around you. We can be as receptive as the sponge soaking in more and more information from our surroundings. One way to strengthen our receptiveness is by asking questions. Our observations cannot help us unless we try to delve into the details of the things we observe. As Bernard Baruch once quoted “Millions saw the apple fall, but Newton asked why”.

Note – Take the help of your friends What ,Why, When ,Who, How and Where in this step

Flex your mind

Get rid of those rigid ideas you are holding in your mind. Some of the things we know and believe might be wrong. We can learn so many things from others which cannot be learnt otherwise. This doesn’t mean that you have to accept everyone’s ideas but atleast give them a little consideration. By looking at the world from other person’s perspective you would surely notice the things you would have overlooked.

Go ahead and experiment

“We keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things, because we’re curious and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths” –Walt Disney

Dabble in different things. Having eclectic taste and interest makes life more exciting. If you are fond of reading fiction try reading nonfiction once in a while. If you like hip-hop go ahead and listen to country music. We all experience some level of resistance while trying something new. The only difference is that curious people break through this barrier more easily by entering the unfamiliar territory often. So push yourself out of your comfort zone regularly. Persistent practice would make you perfect in this.

I am curious to know your ideas about curiosity. Do post your ideas in the comments column.

Swati Ramnath is a Guest Blogger for PickTheBrain.

Don’t Forget To Follow PickTheBrain on Twitter!

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Image courtesy of Krystal ‘Kito’ Cunningham

Yippee! It’s Monday. I am dying to get started with this exciting week.

Do you utter these words while making your way out of the bed on Monday mornings? Do you jump out of bed every morning in the state of excitement?

If your answer to this is “ Yes” then let me tell you that you are already living a life full of passion.

But if you are like most of us who are sleepwalking through life your answer to this would be “No! I would prefer to stay in the state of slumber. My dream world is far more alluring than my real world.”

We all go through life dealing with mundane matters. There are times when we feel that there is something missing in life, that there is something more to life. We might even try to dismiss this feeling of inner void by saying “ How  could I be so greedy? My life is just fine. I should stop asking for more and be happy with what I have.” With this notion deeply rooted in our mind, we consider ourselves to be happy. But deep down our heart we are still craving for a life that is more joyous and more exciting.

Whether we realize it or not, this kind of superficial living is self –destructive. We are sabotaging our growth and falling prey to our circumstances. Our life is meant to be colorful and enthralling and passion is what makes our life fulfilling in the true sense. Everyone is capable of pursuing their passion. All we need is a little effort towards creating our dream life.

What is “Passion”?

The word passion has lost its charm and true meaning these days. We find people using this word when they are vaguely referring to a desire or hobby. Passion goes beyond the realms of wants and desires. We all wish for several things in our life. But are we really passionate about them? Are we ready to go out of our way to achieve them? We need to ponder over these questions to identify our passions and discern them from mere wants.

Why is passion so imperative in life?

A source of motivation

On windy days we often notice leaves tossing and turning around, acting according to the whims of the wind. The wind says “Go east”. The leaf goes east. The wind says “ Go west”. The leaf goes west. The wind says “ Stop”. The leaf stops flying. Without passion we are like this leaf. We might know where we want to go but our lack of motivation will easily derail us from our track. Our Passion transforms us into an arrow. The storm might knock the arrow off course but it would keep flying. Passion provides us motivation to keep moving whenever life tries to knock us down.

The secret of success

Have you ever noticed that most of the millionaires and successful entrepreneurs are high school drop outs.  Almost none of them finished college. What makes it possible for these people who might seem ordinary to have an extraordinary life? The answer is passion. Think of all great achievers and you will be struck by their passion. Mahatma Gandhi’s passion for human rights, Winston Churchill’s passion for freedom, Bill Gates’s passion for technology. All these successful people have proved the fact that “The only path leading to success is the path paved with passion.”

Now that you know why passion is so relevant in life, let us look into some ways to nurture passion in life.

Ways to rekindle passion in life:

Look within

“I just can’t find my passion” I often hear people say. In this world where we are tuned in, logged on or dialed in virtually non- stop, taking time to let ourselves contemplate is very rare. But quiet reflective time is all it takes to find our passion. Try taking a trip down memory lane. What was that one thing you could for hours and hours when you were a child? It gave you so much pleasure that you lost track of time. I discovered most of my passions by ruminating over the things I loved to do as a child.

Beware of the thief

Our passion is like a precious pearl we possess. There is a thief who goes around stealing our passions. This thief of passion is nothing but fear. Fear of change, fear of failure, fear of stepping out of our comfort zone. This fear is what deters most people from pursuing their passion. If you want to live a more fulfilling life then you have to let go of your fears. Never let your passion get stolen by your fears.

Shield your passion from naysayers

“ Have you gone crazy” “ Forget it you will never make it” This is what we get to hear when we decide to go off the beaten path to pursue our passion. Do not let these pessimistic people derail you from your path. Following the herd will not get you anywhere but following you heart will surely take you to your dreams. So shield yourself form the outer noise and just tune into your heart.

Align your passion with your profession

Your passion need not be restricted to your weekends. Many people have found ways to turn their passion into rewarding career. I recently read an article about a bus driver in Chicago who sings while he drives. Apart from attracting passengers his unique style of driving attracted even the media. When he was being interviewed on television, he said “Don’t call me a driver. I am a professional singer. My passion is singing not driving. I only drive to get a captive audience every single day”. Here is a person who has found a creative way to align his passion with his occupation. Like this “Singing driver” you too can find ways to align your job with your passion.

Mingle with passionate people

Ever noticed that person who always seems to have spring in his step and a spark in his eyes. Passionate people can easily be spotted in a flock of people. They have an aura of positivity and charm that draws other people to them. And what more their passion is contagious so that the people who interact with them also get infected with it. Whenever you feel that you have lost your fire get around these fire lighters. By spending time with passionate people you can’t help getting infected with their passion.

Keep your eyes wide open

Explore for new passions when you feel that the old ones have just faded away. Do not hesitate to experiment. You never know when   you would stumble upon a new one that can rekindle the joy in life. I personally believe in having a variety of passions in life. I feel each of my passions add a new color to my life thereby making it more colorful.

Swati Ramnath is a Guest Blogger and avid reader of PickTheBrain.

Krystal ‘Kito’ Cunningham is a Photographer from Hawaii and her piece: Reflections Of The Heart is a selection from our  PTB Blog Art Submissions Project.

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