I have a group of ladies who are beginner to intermediate level snow skiers that I teach each week for eight weeks during the winter. When we were sitting on the chairlift, we saw some of the little kids below who were fearlessly zipping down the slopes. These kids must have been anywhere from four to six years of age.

Some of the ladies remarked how they wished they had started snow skiing at the same age of these little kids. They claimed that the kids seem to have no fear unlike them, struggling adults. When the kids fall on the snow, they just get up again and laugh it off.

This is in total contrast to adults who often have a deep fear of falling and injuring themselves. Indeed, some of my ladies tend to tense up and ski very slowly when the slopes are a bit steeper or icier. The common objective they all have when I asked them what they wanted to achieve this winter is to have more confidence on the ski slopes.

What these ladies might not be realizing is that they are already setting great examples for other adults. Instead of choosing not to pursue a sport or activity like snow skiing because they think they are already too old, they signed up to take ski lessons from professional certified instructors.

Despite their fears, they are always willing to try out the various drills I show them or venture out with the class on steeper terrain that they otherwise might not have skied down on their own. I give them a lot of credit for this and their efforts slowly pay off as they continually surprise themselves each week with their skill improvements.

Don’t Compare To Others

Although it would have been nice to start a sport like snow skiing at an early age, that opportunity has past for us adults so it’s not even worth dwelling on. My adult students should not compare themselves to the kids speeding past. They should be proud enough to participate in an activity that many other adults consider too extreme to start.

My ladies need not reach the level of the kids to have fun out there. They can enjoy the ski slopes on their own level and they are doing the right thing by learning how to do it safely with expert supervision and coaching.

Progress On Your Own Terms

This should be the same with any new skills whether they are sports or foreign languages or computers. All adults should realize that it is never too late to learn new things. For example, it is great to see more and more seniors are now taking efforts to learn how to use computers and the internet so that they can communicate with their loved ones online or share photos.

In fact, learning new things is a good thing because new skills help exercise our bodies and our minds. This has proven to be one of the best anti-aging strategies out there.

So if you have ever wanted to learn a certain sport or some other skill, do not hesitate to take the initiative to sign up for a course or seminar that will help get you started. Although you might not become an expert, you can still benefit greatly from all the enjoyment that you will get when participating with those new skills.

The ladies in my ski classes should feel no shame because they are slower than the ski kids. Instead, they should feel proud to add yet another skill and activity to their lives.

Feel free to share below a new skill that you learned later in life as well as those that you have still yet to learn.

Clint Cora is a motivational speaker, author and Karate World Champion. See his FREE 3-part Personal Development Video Series to learn how to expand your comfort zone to conquer even your most daunting goals in life.

Who the hell are you? Are you for real? That’s the message I got when I had forgotten my twitter password for the umpteenth time. And it got me thinking (something I have been known to do on occasions). Do we really know who we are?

Next time you pass by a mirror, just stay there for a while and look at the person staring back at you. Is that you or an image of you? This is how you present yourself to the world and yet does your inner self match your outer self?

Once upon a long time ago, there was a man who liked to fool around and play jokes on everyone. He used to put on an extraordinary mask that spanned an array of emotions from laughing and crying to grimacing. He took great pleasure in playing the fool and frightening everyone. Some people laughed at his antics, some people cried. All he cared about was the adrenalin rush and excitement that their reactions gave him.

He used to pop his mask on a few times a week, but as his need for excitement grew, he would wear the mask every day until he was wearing it all the time, even sleeping in it. He wandered around for years behind the mask until one day, he felt strange. He felt cut off from himself, isolated and realized that something was missing.

The next day he bumped into a lovely lady and it was love at first sight. But when he reached out to her, she screamed and ran away, frightened by his weird and shocking mask.

‘Stop’ he cried,’ this isn’t me!’ And he desperately tried to wrench the mask from his face. But he could not remove it because it was him. The mask was stuck to his face, it had become his face.

He tried to tell others the dreadful thing that had happened to him but no one was interested in listening because they had all done the exact same thing as him. They were all wearing masks, all playing at being people they were not.

Who are you? Are you wearing a mask?

There are times in our lives when we might put on a mask to stop our true selves from being seen. We do this out of a fear that if people really knew us they would not like us. We have a real fear of being exposed for the charlatan we think we are. But it is a great emotional burden pretending to be someone we are not. It is a very tiring and draining experience. How long has it been since you looked inside to experience your real self?

When I did my training to be a psychotherapist I had to have my own therapy and I remember this question. Who are you? I answered that I was a mother. Rap on the knuckles, Carole, that is not who you are that is what you do. Very often we cannot answer the question who the hell are you? Because we do not know.

Our real selves has been squashed and taken over by our false selves. It is up to us to redress the balance.

Do you spend much of your time putting other’s needs before your own?

Are you very conscious of your appearance? Do you hate your job? Do you ever do anything that you really want to do?

You may have put on a mask to protect yourself at some stage in your life but is it really necessary anymore? The mask has done its’ job and now it is only a barrier to your future happiness.

10 ways to step out from behind the mask

• Cut the crap of pretending to others that you are happy when you are not

• If you are in an unhappy relationship, either seek counseling or leave

• If you hate your job, start looking for a new one or re skill in a new area

• Delegate chores or work to others when you are overwhelmed

• Learn to say No frequently

• Stop being Mr. or Mrs. nice guy

• Stop rescuing others, try rescuing yourself first

• Take a risk and let others see the real you, if they don’t like it, tough

• Take time out to meditate or take a yoga class

• If all else fails, see a psychotherapist

About the Author:

Carole Lyden is a psychotherapist and writer living in Perth, Western Australia. PsycheBuzz is a website that will help you: Feel more positive about yourself. Add depth and meaning to your life. Enrich and empower your life. Attempt to ease your mental distress. Please join me there.

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The connection between our self-esteem and what we get out of our lives is very crucial.  It’s the foundation of our confidence and interactions with ourselves and the outside world.

Having esteem for ourselves plays a part in our moods, beliefs and attitudes, and the quality of relationships we have in our lives.

For many of us, we strive to develop ourselves, feel better, and become better people.  Understanding what we can do to overcome the symptoms of low self-esteem is a great way to enhance more positives in our lives.

Generally, most of us face typical problems and the bouts of the blues that can come with them.  The great part is that it can be combated with little to no effort at all.

I’ve outlined some practical steps that can be implemented by mature and respectable individuals to increase their self-esteem and general well being.

1.  Identify The Issue

To feel better about ourselves we must become better people.  The first place we look to do so is inward.  Are we are the source of our own self-esteem issue(s)?

Often this is the case, however there may be instances where an external source (flat tire, family member, spouse, etc.) can be the cause, or throw a wrench into the mix.

Whether internal or external, the “why,” is not the most important part of this step.  It’s knowing and accepting that there is a concern and area of our lives that can be improved.

Once we are aware of what needs to be changed we can then create and embrace a plan to follow and take the proper action.  If the problem happens to be external we must confront it and work towards moving on to a beneficial resolution in the proper manner.

For the sake of this article and so that we do not cover too much ground, let’s presume the issue is internal, which brings us to our next tip.

2.  Managing Thoughts

Our thoughts are on the forefront of our feelings and emotions.  In addition to identifying the issues we face or struggle with on a daily basis, we want to identify our own thoughts about them.

We do this by keeping track of what may be holding us back from our full potential.  Hurtful self-talk like “I’m not good enough,” or “I’ll never be able to…” are both trademark signs of low self-esteem.

Start recognizing and taking inventory of how you think and speak to yourself.  This can get a little tricky since our thoughts are automatic and tripped by certain events, etc.

Some of us may have been internally beating ourselves up for so long that the defeating self-talk has moved on to become core beliefs.

Even if we’re on the extreme end of the spectrum, when we monitor our thoughts we can now manage them in a more efficient manner.  A common mistake made is accepting our negative thoughts, fears, and dis-beliefs, as reality – when in fact most are just false-perceptions.

3. Challenge Yourself

In respect to thoughts, think of challenging yourself in a different light than setting difficult goals or trying something new.

Practice the art of facing your fears, doubts and the limiting thoughts head on.  When we do this with vigor and consistency, we start to shape new habits that foster positive thoughts and logical perceptions.

“I can’t,” soon becomes “I’m currently trying to,” and there is a enormous difference between the two mindsets.

Remember that it’s perfectly alright to experience bad or negative circumstances.  They are inevitable and a part of life.  But by repeatedly challenging your perspective, rather than being consumed by them, we can manage to overcome and move beyond adversity more efficiently.

Also, utilize the traditional sense of challenging yourself, too.  Triumph and accomplishment spread like wildfire in terms of self-esteem.  When we reach new heights and conquer new goals our lives become enriched in new ways.

Now I’ll pass it on to you for your take on self-esteem.  Does it effect your ability to manage your business and personal relationships?  What about your overall mood or productivity throughout the day?  Please share your experiences in the comments section below.

Jason Anthony, founder of EvenMinds, is committed to inspiring others to design an extraordinary life, empower themselves, and improve their well being.  Get a free e-course on building a healthy and dynamic relationships just for signing up for the EvenMinds newsletter.

By asking yourself this question will allow the freedoms of your mind to speak it’s truth. No running or wearing a mask or acting. We all know who we aren’t. We aren’t the President of the United States or the Prime Minister of Canada. YET.

What is it that you tell yourself you could never do? Why don’t you trust yourself to do the things you used to daydream about? What is inside of you screaming to come out but the thought of it creates unspeakable amounts of stress for you?

In fact isn’t it actually more stressful NOT doing it? The what if’s, if only’s, I wish I could…

And who first posed the question to you, ‘Who do you think you are?”

Did you know stress is fear?  That’s it. Fear. And what is fear? Fear is an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.

Who decides for you what is a threat, or that something is dangerous? And note the word ‘belief’. A belief is a thought. A belief is something one accepts as true or real; a firmly held opinion or conviction.

Why don’t we all have the same beliefs? Why aren’t we all fearful of the same things? If these fears of ours were real and truly a threat to us, wouldn’t we all be fearing the same thing?

We are all human. We all have the same human needs. We all carry around with us our bodies that require nature and nurture in order to function properly.

So why do we not all fear the shortage of water, or loneliness or disease? Why doesn’t every single person in the world fear the same thing, if all our needs and physical requirements to survive are the same?

Our beliefs. It is our beliefs about things that create disease in our mind and carry forward in our lives. We have bought into the idea(s) of things that aren’t necessarily real. Things will only be real if we ourselves bring them to life.

Isn’t that fantastic news? That we can bring the things we choose to life? You are the actor, director, camera man and heck, even the camera, producer and editor. Imagine the things you can do with this talent. Since you bought into your beliefs you can now do what you want with them. They are yours. No one else’s. And like fingerprints, everybody’s is different.

But you can choose that even though you bought and paid for your beliefs again and again, you got your moneys worth now and it is time to replace them. Like Grandma’s floral chesterfield, it’s time to update.

Now you need to understand the flipside. If you choose to hold on to your old beliefs, the ones that are creating the fear, you are by default not taking responsibility for your own feelings. In this case you are not trusting yourself to handle the new. That is new as in exciting, juices flowing, sparkling eyes, aliveness.

This leads to blame. We blame others and or the circumstances around us. When we do this, we are allowing ourselves to be the victim.

So ask yourself this question:

What are you doing to yourself that is creating the fear within you?

What beliefs are you hanging on to that causes you to create this fear?

What is it worth for you to hang on to it?

What is it worth to you to dispose of it and buy into a new belief?

My name is Suzanne Jones. I am a Certified Hypnotherapist and a Writer. I have a bloghttp://www.pristineperception.com and write based on true experiences. I guide people through either Hypnotherapy or my Writing to regain personal and mental control of their lives. Just one degree of perception change is all it takes.

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When I was younger, I was a very shy guy. I often wondered how it would feel to be confident like a rap star. I mean, does Snoop Dogg ever feel insecure? Could you picture a shy rap star? How would you feel if you just didnít care about what other people thought? How awesome would it be to feel comfortable in every situation?

Itís just a stupid dream, right? Nobody in the world is always confident and feels comfortable in every situation (except Snoop Dogg, of course).

Being a shy guy, I was sure that’s just how I was born. Shyness is in my genes, you know. I’m an introvert, so I’m just going to spend my life following other people and hiding in the shadows. A glorious life ahead!

Fortunately a few years later I stumbled upon some self-improvement books and read ìThe Gameî by Neil Strauss. Neil went from an ubergeek to an ultra-confident guy. And then I thought maybe, just maybe, my genes don’t have anything to do with my shyness and I too can become confident like Snoop Dogg. And so began my journey toward self-confidence:

Fast-forward a few years and here I am writing a post with advice on how to become confident like a rap star. Life’s funny, donít you think?

Anyway, I’m not here to tell you the story of my life. This short introduction was just my way of saying that you, too, can get rid of your shyness and become confident. You’re not shy by nature. Here are 11 simple tips on how to go about it.

1. Improve your body

No citizen has a right to be an amateur in the matter of physical training! What a disgrace it is for a man to grow old without ever seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable.

-Socrates

Well said, Soc.

This one is imperative, for one simple reason: if you aren’t fit, you aren’t healthy. If you arenít healthy, you can’t enjoy life as much as a healthy person. If you can’t enjoy your life to the fullest, you can’t feel 100% confident.

If you’re looking for a permanent confidence booster, get rid of your belly and get a flat stomach. If you already have a flat stomach, put on some muscle. If your body is already perfect, then what are you doing here? (Just kidding, read on!)

Working out improves your physique and that alone will tremendously improve your self-confidence (do professional bodybuilders ever feel shy?). Improving your outer game DOES improve your inner game.

Don’t forget that weightlifting isnít only about training ñ itís about training AND proper diet. I’m a big fan of Martin Berkhan’s Leangains approach which is a nice mix of healthy eating with some indulgence.

If you’re not into resistance training, pick any other sport that will help you improve your body. Extreme sports are great. So is running, cycling or simply walking. Get off your ass and become active ñ as Mark Rippetoe said, ‘we have not spent the last 65 million or so years finely honing our physiology to watch Oprah.’

2. Expand your comfort zone

It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare, it is because we do not dare that they are difficult.

Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Seneca is one of my favorite philosophers for a reason.

Do you know why you’re shy? Because you simply don’t dare to be confident. I can assure you of one thing, if you’re going to avoid every situation that makes you feel uncomfortable, youíll never become confident. This is extremely important, so please burn it into your brain.

Being confident is difficult for you because you probably avoid every situation which could help you become more confident. Face your fears and make it a daily habit to do at least one thing that scares you.

Every time you avoid a situation that makes you feel insecure, you’re basically saying ‘sorry, I donít want to be confident, let me be shy.’ The choice is yours!

3. Travel

The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page.

St. Augustine

Traveling alone is one of the best ways of improving your self-confidence. When you travel alone to a foreign (preferably exotic) country, youíll face many challenges: loneliness on the road, homesickness, strange and hard-to-understand cultural differences.

Youíll have to face these problems alone and that will tremendously improve your confidence. Travel builds character. If you had survived culture shock (and hundreds of aggressive panhandlers) in Morocco, would you feel shy speaking in front of a small crowd?

Maybe, but I’m sure you that you wouldnít feel as nervous as you would feel if you hadn’t traveled somewhere alone. Traveling (and its challenges) changes your perception of uncomfortable situations.

Donít forget that when you’re away from home, youíre free of labels given to you by people that know you. Sometimes these labels are negative and can hold you back. If you are in a completely new place and have to create a new social circle, you can become a completely different person. Moving to another country is one of the easiest ways to completely redesign your life!

4. Chill out

Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are.

Chinese Proverb

Do you live your life in a constant rush? If so, Iím not surprised that you’re reading this article (no offense, just stating a fact!). If youíre constantly hurrying somewhere, youíre constantly nervous and stressed. Can you feel confident if you’re tense? I donít think so.

Learn to relax. Spend at least 30 minutes a day relaxing. Whether it’s listening to music, reading books, walking, running, meditating, weightlifting or having fun with your friends, do something that relaxes you. Stress kills your self-confidence (and you, if you didnít know it yet).

5. Unplug

Be brave enough to live life creatively. The creative is the place where no one else has ever been. You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition.

Alan Alda

One of the most characteristic traits of shy people is their love for electronics and especially computers and the Internet. If you were to picture a typical shy guy, you would probably picture a guy with big glasses sitting in front of a computer playing video games.

Don’t get me wrong, all you fans of video games: it’s okay to play them from time to time. However, you have to remember that these games (as well as the Internet and TV) make you anti-social. Itís funny how new technology brings people together, but at the same time alienates them.

Spend less time on Facebook, less time watching TV or browsing the Internet, and start living more in the real world. Instead of texting with someone, meet him and talk face to face. Instead of poking a girl (or guy) on Facebook, get her number, call her and do something fun together. Instead of uploading new photos on Facebook, take a trip with your friends.

Be creative and do fun things in the real world. Make your life more interesting and youíll become way more confident.

6. Be positive

Positive thinking will let you do everything better than negative thinking will.

Zig Ziglar

People who live a happier life are usually more self-confident. Moreover, they tend to have many great friends. Who doesn’t want to be around a positive person?

By being a negative person, youíre only making your life miserable. Read 10 Ways To Be Happy, On Purpose to learn how to become a positive person.

Get rid of your negative thoughts and fill your mind with positive ones. Youíll bring more positivity into your life and, along with more positivity, more self-confidence!

7. Learn by imitation

By three methods we may learn wisdom: first, by reflection, which is noblest; second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest.

Confucius

Confucius was a really sharp guy. Imitation is indeed the easiest way to learn. You can easily use this technique to learn to become confident. Start meeting more often with highly confident people. Observe how they act and learn from them.

How do they move? How do they speak? How do they interact with people? How do they dress? What are their values? Take notes!

If you don’t know any highly confident people, itís time to expand your social circle. In the meantime, you can learn from movies. For example, recently I finished watching all of the James Bond movies. Why?

Besides having great fun, I’d been watching these movies because James Bond is probably the best icon of self-confidence and there’s a lot to learn from him. Every actor that has played James Bond can teach you something about self-confidence.

Observe Sean Connery’s James Bond: he’s the definition of style and elegance. Analyze Roger Moore’s James Bond: he’s quick-witted and very laid-back. Learn from Pierce Brosnan’s James Bond: he’s a master of seduction.

There are many movies that you can learn from, but observing confident people in the real world is still the best way to learn by imitation. So find these people and spend time with them!

8. Don’t hesitate

Make up your mind to act decidedly and take the consequences. No good is ever done in this world by hesitation.

Thomas Huxley

Confident people are decisive. Every time you hesitate, you come off like a shy person. Use the three-seconds rule (coined by the famous so-called ‘pick-up artist’ Mystery) to become a more decisive person and kill hesitation.

The three-seconds rule is very simple: when you see a girl youíd like to approach, you need to approach her in three seconds (even if you have no idea what to say). The longer you hesitate, the more insecure you are (i.e., you probably won’t act). Act instantly and there’s a great chance that youíll succeed.

It can be extended to many other things, including working on your confidence in general. When you are in a situation where you don’t feel confident (for example, before asking a question in public), act in three seconds. Donít hesitate. Just do it. Youíll be fine. Most often the scariest part is to start.

9. Set challenges and plan adventures

There is nothing like a challenge to bring out the best in man.

Sean Connery

Life is very boring if youíre following the same routine as everyone else. Itís no wonder that youíre shy if you never do anything interesting! Accomplish something admirable and Iím sure that youíll greatly improve your self-esteem.

Make your life more interesting by setting challenges for yourself. Every challenge will make you a more confident person (the more you accomplish, the more successful and confident you’ll feel).

Here are a few simple ideas for challenges:

• become fluent in a new language in 6 months (yes, it’s possible);
• travel to a remote place or spend some time in the wilderness alone (remember to prepare yourself!)
• set fitness goals (bench press 200 lbs, squat 300 lbs, run a marathon)

10. Approach random strangers and chitchat with people

A stranger is just a friend I havenít met yet.

Will Rogers

Do you engage in small talk with your neighbors, shop assistants or even random strangers? If not, why not?

Small talk with strangers is one of the best ways to work on your confidence. And not only that ñ it also improves your social skills which are very useful in everyday life (they also build your confidence around people).

I have a challenge for you ñ every day, for the next 30 days, youíre going to initiate a conversation with at least one person (a stranger). The goal is to start a conversation and be friendly to other people, nothing more.

You can ask simple questions (ask for the time or directions), compliment someone (‘I love your shirt, where did you get it?’) or comment on something (‘what beautiful weather!’). It doesn’t matter what the response is. Just start a conversation. Learn more about the art of talking with strangers by reading The Shy Personís Guide to Talking to Strangers.

11. Never give up

Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Confident people don’t give up. Period. How can you be a confident person if you are a constant quitter? The day you quit is the day you start living a life of regret. And that kills self-confidence.

You can accomplish almost anything if you just stick to it long enough. If you want to become confident, promise yourself that you wonít give up until you achieve your goal.

Develop a ‘never give up’ mentality. Itís an extremely important trait of every self-confident person. Take your life in your hands and never, ever, give up on something that is important to you!

To tell you the truth, I still sometimes feel insecure and I don’t feel comfortable in every situation. But you know what? Iím okay with that. Iím getting better with every day. And thatís what counts.

Start with a single step and focus every day on being more confident than you were yesterday. Rome wasnít built in a day, Snoop Dogg didnít become Snoop Dogg in a day, you wonít become confident like a rap star overnight.

Martin helps shy people become confident by sending them a free newsletter with advice on how to do it. Click here to sign up for his free e-course and further lessons.

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There is a significant correlation between your social skills and your success in any area of life. With good social skills, it’s easier to make friends, build strong relationships and get ahead in your career.

If you lack social skills, it’s important to learn how to build social skills. In this article, I’m going to reveal to you the 5 most effective ways I know for building social skills, based on my experience as a social confidence coach.

1. Practice

Developing any ability is largely a matter of practice. In order to develop your social skills, you need to spend a lot of time interacting with others.

By meeting new people, conversing with them and getting to know them, you develop your intuition about people and you gradually become better at attuning to them and building a connection with them.

You may be tempted to avoid social interactions because you think you lack social skills, but unfortunately, this only keeps you lacking social skills. The key to improving them is to interact with others no matter how capable you are right now.

2. Take Risks

It’s not enough to just interact with others. It’s central to also take risks when doing so. This means expressing your true thoughts and feelings, and behaving in an authentic manner.

This is important because if you just stick to behaving during a social interaction in ways that are very strict and safe, you don’t really experiment and explore the possibilities. And this makes it harder for your social skills to expand.

You really want to express your entire personality and notice how others react, in order to wise up socially. If you have trouble in this area, I advise you to learn how to be yourself and little by little to become more expressive.

3. Ask for Feedback

It’s hard to adjust your interpersonal skills when you don’t understand exactly how people see you and what effect certain sides of your personality have on them. This is where feedback comes in.

Ask people you know and you trust to give you feedback. To give you their perspective on how you come across socially, on your strengths and your weaknesses. They can do this casually while chatting, or fill in some sort of feedback form you can devise.

Collect a number of feedbacks and look at the information you acquired. It will help you understand yourself, others and social interactions better. And this is how to build social skills.

4. Interact with Socially Skilled People

One of the best ways to gain social skills is through modeling others. You interact with people who have good social skills, you study their mannerisms and you learn from them.

So, seek to meet individuals who are people savvy and hang out with them a lot. You’ll notice that just by doing this, your social skills will go up.

And if on top of this, you’ll also study them intentionally and try on for size pieces of their conduct, these skills will go up even faster. Socially skilled individuals are an infinite source of wisdom.

5. Work on Specific Goals

There is quite a wide array of social skills and trying to develop them all at once doesn’t yield results. You’re spreading yourself too thin.

A much better approach is to pick one or two specific skills at a time and work on improving them. Only when you’ve made enough progress with them, you can advance to other interpersonal skills.

This means you don’t want to learn merely how to build social skills, but also ways to build the specific social skills that interest you the most. Setting specific goals and working on them is the best way to get results.

As your social skills build, you’ll find yourself feeling more confident in social settings and connecting easier with others. These skills will open up a wide range of opportunities in your life. All you have to do is take advantage of them.

Eduard Ezeanu is a social confidence coach. He teaches people how to overcome shyness, build social skills and live life to the fullest. He also writes on his blog, People Skills Decoded.

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When my coaching clients find their purpose in life, they become so enthusiastic about their new discovery.

But the fear of the unknown leaves them in a frozen status.

They are afraid of entering and exploring the new ground, because they think they might get in trouble. They are afraid of losing what they already have by jumping into the unknown.

So, they remain paralyzed.

They know what they should be doing, but they can’t take action because they think there is a risk involved with this big life transition.

The Internal Conflict Between What You Want and What You Already Have

Yes, you will be leaving your well known life and begin to embrace a totally new lifestyle.

But, here’s something that’s worth thinking about:

Aren’t you already in trouble?!

What urged you to search for your true passion?

Weren’t you hungry for a meaning in your life?

Aren’t you already feeling the pain of being lost and wandering aimlessly through life lacking a real purpose?

Are you happy with doing work that has no meaning and wasting your precious time doing something that doesn’t really matter to you?

This Shallow Life Leaves You Already In Trouble!

So, what do you have to lose?

As Steve Jobs says, “You’re already naked, so there is no reason why you don’t follow your heart”

Life is short. So, get out of your fears, do something and make a difference.

In fact, once you start taking action, you’ll figure out what works and what doesn’t, and you will soon gain clarity about what you should be doing to live and connect your passion to a profitable path.

The only way to beat the fear of the unknown is to take the first step. If you’re afraid of getting in trouble, remember that you’re already in a bigger trouble by not following your heart. If you listen to the voice of your fears, you’ll live an empty life. But, if you listen to the voice of your heart, you’ll live a remarkable life.

Take the first step and beat the fear of the unknown. There is nothing to lose and everything to gain.

M. Tohami helps unfulfilled professionals live with passion. He’s the creator of The P.A.S Technique: The world’s easiest way to find your passion and purpose in life. Click to discover how he recovered from a broken self-esteem to become a bestselling author.

Photo credit: Natalie Shell

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Nobody cares about you. Furthermore, nobody thinks about you, watches you, keeps track of what you’re wearing, or notices the words you mispronounce. And yes, this is wonderful news! Why? Nearly all of us, nearly all the time, are deathly afraid we’ll say the wrong thing, do the wrong thing, or just generally look like a complete idiot. Think you’re different?

When you walk into a networking event, what are you thinking? When you are introduced to someone new, are you trying to remember their name or are you instead thinking of something witty or clever to say to make a good impression? Do you have any fear when you are in a job interview? Are you petrified to give a public speech? Do you resist speaking up in a meeting even if you think you might have something important to share?

I think to some degree, all of us have this fear of constantly being watched, criticized, and judged. It might motivate a few to do their best work, but for most, this haunting belief that we always have to be “on” can be paralyzing. Why take a chance — even a seemingly small chance — if you think everyone is watching and ready to judge you? You don’t speak up in the meeting. You socialize with colleagues at a networking event instead of connecting with someone new. You resist sharing a good story that highlights your skills as the perfect job candidate. In your effort to look your best, you focus too much on yourself and how others will perceive you instead of your work and what’s most important. Nobody performs well under constant scrutiny — real or imagined.

In fact, psychologists use the term “imaginary audience” to describe this heightened state of vigilance that is especially strong during adolescence. An imaginary audience is this belief that we have a group or followers that are watching, dissecting, and judging our every move. But the keyword here is “imagined.”

You are not the center of the universe. Nobody really cares about your every move. Nobody is watching, and if they happen to be, they are far less concerned with what you are doing and much more focused on what YOU are thinking about them. That’s the irony of this. You think you are so important that everyone cares what you do, when in fact, everyone is so preoccupied with themselves that they don’t even notice or care what you are doing.

And while this realization that you are not the center of everyone’s universe may depress you initially, I hope you’ll find that it is actually a huge blessing in disguise. Why? It’s lets you take chances without fear of judgment. You can raise your hand, speak your mind, share your ideas, and take bold risks without (significant) consequences. And here’s the interesting part . . . the second you realize there is no imaginary audience critiquing your every move and the less you care what others think, the more freedom you’ll have to do your best work.

Of course, once you start doing your best work, that imaginary audience might not be in your head — people might then actually start to notice you . . .

Are you ready to create more money, time, energy, and passion in your life? Learn how to live your best life now with these free resources:

Get the “Achieving Peak Performance” ebook and video now! (free for a limited time)

You can also join a community of passionate people at Richer Life who want to achieve more in life and at work. With your free membership, you can participate in conversations I have with experts, celebrities, authors, and thought leaders that are laser-focused on practical ways to drive more money, motivation, and meaning into your life. Take the first step toward creating a better life by joining Richer Life for free now!

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You probably agree that the #1 reason why people can’t pursue their passions is MONEY. It takes time to find a way through which your passion can replace the secured paycheck.

However, there is another equally important reason.

On the surface, you can call it the fear of failure!

However, there is a much deeper and critical aspect of your fear of failure, specially when it comes to pursuing your passion.

It doesn’t hurt that much when you fail to achieve an average goal that you’re not so emotionally attached to it.

But when it comes to your passion and what you’ve put your heart in, it looks like there is no comeback.

Peter Buffett brilliantly put it in his book ‘Life Is What You Make It’ when he said, “If, in the many facets of life at which we are destined to be average, we come up a little short, so what? But if we fail at the thing by which we define ourselves and at which we hope to prove special, that’s serious.”

What Gives The Fear of Failure Its Dominating Power

When you fail at what you’re passionate about, it hits your hopes, identity and aspirations in a killer spot.

At least, that’s what most people think.

They play it safe, because failure is not acceptable on the passion level, as it can kill their last hope!

Fact is, it never happened in the history of success that failure ended the game. The game is over only when you decide to quit. (You can read my story of the greatest failure in my speaking career and you’ll understand what I mean.)

Now, you might wonder from where you can get the motivation to overcome your fear of failure or comeback after you fail in your pursuit of passion.

How to Overcome Your Fear of Failure

I believe the only thing that can help you bounce back is your purpose in life.

It is what holds you tight and strong.

It is the reason why you’ve been down this path in the first place.

And as long as the reason that touches your heart and spirit still exists, then you will always find the motivation to try one more time…

Why?… because it is worth it!

Your life’s purpose solidifies your self esteem and confidence in a way that even failure can’t knock you down. With a clear purpose in life, you become GROUNDED!

Remember, failure never ended the game for any successful person. If you’ve a clear purpose in life, then you’re safe and resilient against the killer hits of failure.

Do yourself a favor and be purposeful today.

M. A. Tohami is on a mission to help unfulfilled professionals find their purpose and  live with passion. If you’re interested, visit his blog and get 3 FREE chapters from his book, The Pharaohs’ Code – Amazon’s #1 bestselling motivational book on May 19, 2009

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“You’ll never succeed.”

“You’re not good enough.”

“You might as well give up now.”

Chances are, you’re hearing things like that every single day.

They don’t come from your friend, or even your enemies.

They come from inside your own head.

Perhaps you’re working towards a big goal: like losing weight and getting fit, or starting up your own business. You might have big ambitions … but you’ve also got to fight a battle against those internal voices.

You’re not the only person who feels that way. We all have to struggle against self-doubt. And we can all overcome those negative, destructive thoughts that hold us back from reaching our goals.

Here’s how.

#1: Remember What You’ve Already Accomplished

You’ve managed to achieve lots of amazing things already. Perhaps you’ve made direct progress towards your goal: you’ve lost 10lbs, so you know you can go on and lose another 10.

Even if your goal is brand-new, you can draw on past accomplishments. Maybe you’re overwhelmed by everything you need to learn in order to get your graduate degree … but you can remember how your hard work paid off when you were an undergraduate, or a high school student.

Do it: Write down three things that you’ve accomplished. It doesn’t matter how big or small they are.

#2: Act Confident

Even if you don’t feel at all confident, you can behave as if you are. Once you start acting confident, you’ll begin to believe in yourself.

Let’s say you’ve started doing freelance photography on the weekends, and you’ve got your first few paying gigs. Your clients don’t need to know that you’re new to this. They don’t need to hear about how nervous you are. If you behave like a professional, they’ll see you as one – and you’ll start to see yourself through their eyes.

Do it: Figure out one way in which you could act confident, starting right now.

#3: Read Success Stories From Other People

Whenever I’ve tackled a big goal in my own life – like losing weight or starting my own business – I’ve been inspired by stories from others.

Lots of people have achieved the goals that you’re working towards. Many of those people will have started off in a worse position than you: they were more overweight, or more deeply in debt, or struggling in all sorts of ways. But they still succeeded … and so can you.

Do it: Look for a book or blog written by someone tackling a similar goal to yours, and read a little bit every day.

#4: Ask For Feedback from a Professional

You might have spent months or years honing your skills in a particular area, but you’re still worried that you’re not good enough.

Find someone professional, and ask them for their opinion. If you’re hoping to write a best-selling novel, hire a writing coach or editor. If you’re planning to start up a restaurant, ask for advice from someone who’s done the same thing. You’ll find out that you’re doing a lot of things right (and you’ll also get a few tips on how to make improvements).

Do it: Consider hiring a coach, or joining a small group or class. You could look locally or online.

#5: Collect Compliments and Testimonials

If you’re working on a long-term goal, chances are that you’ve have some nice comments from other people. Perhaps your friend told you how great you look now that you’ve lost a few pounds, or your first clients raved about what a great job you did for them.

Make sure you keep any encouraging words that you hear. Write down what your friends say. Save all those “thank you” emails. Post your testimonials on your website for the world to read. All of these positive, encouraging voices will help to quiet the demons of self-doubt.

Do it: Look through your emails for any positive feedback, and print it out.

#6: Plan Your Next Few Steps

One of the best ways to overcome self-doubt is to have a clear plan. It’s easy to start thinking “I’ll never do it” if you don’t know what your next steps are.

A clear plan lets you break things down into manageable chunks. It highlights any areas where you’ll need to do further research or get some help. It takes any vague worries and fears and forces them out into the light – where you’ll be able to see plenty of ways to overcome them.

Do it: Write down the next three steps towards your goal.

Are you struggling with self-doubt in any areas of your life? Or have you successfully overcome those self-doubt demons? Share your thoughts with us in the comments below.

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