Image courtesy of Laffy4k at Flickr

Is creativity something that can be tapped? If you are anything like me, creativity can seem elusive; something that comes in waves or that is unpredictable. But we can learn to be creative – like anything it is a process. There are things we can do to harness this power and unleash it:

Release perfectionism

Perfectionism is the biggest killer of creativity. Notice when you are approaching a task and have ‘am I doing it right’ or ‘will it be good enough’ thoughts and do it anyway! Start practicing doing things even when you don’t know if you can do them perfectly or how they will turn out.

Have fun

In our society we are often taught that we should have a goal or an aim and an outcome to an activity in order for it to be successful. Creativity isn’t linear. Start doing purely things for the enjoyment factor.

Practice

Practice being creative often! You don’t necessarily have to show others your creations, but the act of making creativity a ritual will help your brain get used to being creative and keep the flow going.

Be present

Being present and living in the moment helps us to get in touch with our creative side. We need time and space to let our creativity pour forth. Try and be aware of how present you are being every day.

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The most important person behind each of your decisions has to be yourself. Your health and attitude are what give you the ability to perceive everything else around you. Often times, we initially make our decisions based on how someone else will react, or how fitting the decisions are to society’s standards, but society would not be visually available if you couldn’t see it, or audible if you couldn’t hear it.

This is a reminder to put yourself first in a big way. Although it may be a big way compared to what you were doing before, it is probably not big enough compared to how relevant your presence is in the world.

Conversation Example

With all the hesitation that you may face when going up to someone in a public setting, conference, or party, most of that hesitation doesn’t take into account that, if it was not for your senses and perception, the person would not be there for you to make conversation with. You’re a puzzle piece in the interaction just as much as they are a puzzle piece in the interaction. When we assume that our presence is not meant as part of an event, we lose the majority of our socializing energy, and get stuck in a mental circular loop of doubt or questioning.

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Before you open another door, follow this three-step process:  Stop. Pause. Enter. It might take an extra 10 seconds, but doing this will help you become more conscious of your objectives and help you connect with your spouse, children, boss, mother-in-law, or whomever.

If you’re like me, you have a thousand things you’re thinking about and commitments you’re juggling. You’re probably bouncing from one thing to another, trying to keep it all together. You might feel overwhelmed, overworked, and mentally exhausted. You also might spend a good deal of your mental energy focused on the future — wondering how you should reply to that email from your nosy colleague, thinking about your grocery list, or even daydreaming about your upcoming vacation.

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Let me be clear: I don’t believe in instant confidence as a permanent cure for confidence issues. I think what works in the long run is changing the thinking patterns and belief system which feed insecurities. And this cannot be done in an instant. It take times and persistent action.

I do however believe there are often situations when you don’t have the time to build confidence by addressing the roots and you need an instant boost for your confidence. There are strategies for this, which work a lot like a patch over a wound, with a temporary but also positive effect. This is why from my perspective, this discussion makes sense.

Do a simple search on this topic and you will actually find dozens of tips and tricks for instant confidence. Which always leads me to one simple question: which ones work the best and are truly worth applying?

Having tested a lot of them myself, as well as having seen even more of them at work in my activity as a coach, I’ve selected a couple of them, which I believe to be the most effective strategies for instant confidence. Here they are:

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Image courtesy of ThreadingWater

Silencing incessant mental chatter (or ‘mind chatter’ in short) is similar to the way we make darkness disappear in a dark room. We can dispel the darkness with light. Likewise, we can silence mental chatter with mindfulness and concentration. When we turn on the light, the darkness disappears. Similarly, when we turn on mindfulness (means being mindful) and concentrate our mind on a chosen object (for example, mental or physical experiences or an activity we wish to focus our attention on such as eating, walking, solving a problem), mental chatter loses its force and becomes silenced. In order to achieve that, our mindfulness should be sensitive enough to immediately notice when the mental chatter occurs (or is about to occur) and our concentration should be strong enough to hold our mind on the object without being distracted (and the force of our concentration should be stronger than the force of the mental chatter).

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A Midsummer’s Night Dream courtesy of Jasmin Aldin

Putting Power in Your Steps

To come from a place power, a clear understanding of past, present, and future is critical. In dwelling on the past, we are deterred from our dreams and dream objectives. By emotionally living in the past, we distract ourselves from discovering and giving voice to our deepest, most inspirational desires.

The Past Does Not Equal the Future

In thinking of the past, we stir up negative explanations as to why our dreams can’t come true because they haven’t come true in the past. It is a specific sort of blame game and subtracts from our power to take responsibility for what our life has become. Develop a habit of catching yourself in these thoughts and instantly correct them to shift your power by taking action in the present moment.

Our lives are a reflection of what we continuously focus on. Therefore, if we continue to focus on what happened in the past, we continue to repeat the past. History repeats itself, particularly for those who keep focusing on it!

“But how can I learn from my mistakes if I don’t look back?”  Although this question seems to make sense, there is weakness in this thinking. It makes the assumption that mistakes have been made. However, I believe that there is no such thing as failure, and that all seeming failure is an opportunity for adjustment. An adjustment is an improvement, rather than a correction of a mistake. When we think in terms of mistakes, this thinking comes from lack, or fear.

In thinking from power, faith, and responsibility, we simply make improvements. When we shift our thinking from fear of repeating mistakes to acceptance of a learning opportunity, the negative past loses its power over us.

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Image courtesy of Andy Warhol

My father is my hero.  The greatest man I know.  Honestly.  As I have matured through the years, I realize this more every day.  And I am more and more grateful for him every day.

He is a quiet and reserved man… a hard worker, and very successful in most facets of his life.  He spent his entire 45 year career at one company, starting out as an intern making 75 cents an hour to spending the last several years as CEO.  Surely he has weathered several economic recessions, witnessing and even overseeing his fair share of lay-offs, salary cuts and disgruntled employees.  He was fiercely dedicated to his work, and sacrificed a lot of time with his family to fulfill his responsibilities and accomplish his career goals.  He traveled often and spent endless hours at the office.  He was never a 9-5, 40 hours a week, employee.  More like 60-70 hours.

He raised four kids with my mom to whom he is still married, and surely bares a few grey hairs as souvenirs of our ongoing antics.  He has had his fair share of personal challenges as a father and a husband.  And although I am not a mind reader, as most people do, I assume he probably has a few regrets along the way.  Yet, everything he has ever done, he has done with his family’s best interest in mind.  He spoiled us… but not rotten.  He sent us all to college and grad school, and gave us every opportunity to better ourselves through education, travel, community service and family responsibility.  During the summers, he sent each one of us to work once we turned 16 because he felt it was important for us to learn the value of a dollar.  We learned a lot more than that from him.

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Dating confidence tips to get you and your date relaxed and having an unforgettable time…

Nervously early for his date, Dave had plenty of time to notice his sweating palms.

“Oh great! What if she wants to shake hands?” He briefly imagined his date’s hand slipping from his like an eel from a greased plate and started feeling a little sick as he frantically dabbed his palms with a napkin. A waiter watched with a seen-it-all blend of sympathy and disdain.

“Just be yourself!” his flatmate – a regular man of the world with more dating confidence than a roomful of James Bonds – had advised. “Blimey, it’s only a date!”

“What does ‘just be yourself’ even mean?” Dave retorted in a panicked tone, trying to cover his shaving rash with an extra-wide 1970s sports-broadcaster-style tie.

He had met Kate at a party during which he’d not been entirely lucid (thanks to some imported German beer). But, he reflected, he must have been entertaining enough; he’s secured this date, after all. Full of liquid courage, he’d finally blurted: “Would you like to meet up?”

Now he wondered: Had his speech slurred? Had she just been too polite to turn him down? Should he reassure her that he wasn’t an alcoholic? No, definitely not a good opener. Would she question why a witty and lively extrovert from the other night had morphed into a shy sack of nerves? Would he even recognize her when she arrived?

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Image courtesy of SpaceCollective

Have you noticed when your computer gets slow when you run many programs (or open many windows) at the same time? Likewise our brains get slower when our brains are filled with so many thoughts and other distractions. Have you ever noticed your brain is filled with incessant mental chatters, which make you worried, stressful, distracted or angry? These unwanted thoughts hinder your career and drain energy from your brain.

Incessant mental chatter (or simply incessant chatter) is a stream of thoughts, for example, a thought about your past, a worry about your future, criticizing yourself or others, fantasizing about something, arguing with someone, inner narration, (resentful) memories, non-constructive thoughts, images, tunes, and other thoughts. Incessant chatter can make you worried, stressed, depressed, distracted or angry. Usually one thought follows another. Some people may not yet realize it. Have you ever noticed your mind is not there with you? Try to see if your mind is in the car or in the shower next time you are driving, or having a shower. It is all too common our mind often absent in our daily activities. Incessant chatter makes your mind absent from your daily activities.

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