Building Self Esteem With Writing Therapy

One of the most common techniques used for building self esteem is the use of affirmations. Affirmations are things you tell yourself on a regular basis to “affirm” your personal strength, beauty and value. Affirmations are great, but unless there is a real belief in what the words represent, they will do nothing for your true self esteem. To get at your true self esteem, you must dig a bit deeper; and for this purpose I recommend writing about your life. Read the Rest of This Article »

How To Be Persuasive

Not so long ago, influence was claimed as a matter of birthright. Now, even for the highborn, influence is a skill that is honed with dedicated practice, feedback and reflection.

Here’s how to be more persuasive: Read the Rest of This Article »

15 of the Best Motivational Quotes

The power of words never fails to inspire.

Below are 15 of the best motivational quotes and a much needed early week pick-me-up.  I hope you enjoy:

A #2 pencil and a dream can take you anywhere.

Joyce A. Myers

It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light.

Aristotle Onassis

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Uncomfortable, Unknown, Unfamiliar –Are They Bad Words?

Who would have thought that two little letters like ‘un’ could have such power?

An innocuous little word, no, a prefix in fact but when added to words to make uncomfortable, unknown, unfamiliar – it has the power to make grown men cringe with fear.

Perhaps it’s magic. As Sigmund Freud said “Words were once considered magic…do not despise the use of words” [specifically in psychotherapy in his case].

Or maybe it’s not magic. Perhaps it’s something more visceral. The founder of the field of General Semantics Alfred Korzybski would call a bad physical-emotional reaction to a word or concept – a semantic reaction.

Do people really have bad reactions to words or concepts? I think you know you do (grin).

Just complete the sentence “Don’t talk to me about…?” or “I have a real problem with…x?” Read the Rest of This Article »

Stop Saying “I Can’t”

Do you ever find yourself saying “I can’t”? Sometimes, it’s perfectly reasonable: I can’t drive is simply a statement of fact, if you haven’t yet passed your test.

But often, I can’t is loaded down with self-judgment:

• I can’t draw.
• I can’t sing.
• I just can’t stay organized.
• I can’t ever get it right.
• I can’t lose weight.

How often do you say “I can’t” when it’s, at best, a half-truth? Maybe you really think that you can’t draw – but is that just because you’ve never actually tried? And if you can’t get organized, or quit smoking, or lose weight … do you really mean that you won’t? Read the Rest of This Article »

Words That Overcome Fear And Dread

Everyone knows sex sells. Greed sells too, and again, this is something we all know. But little did we know that the really big, best seller of all is FEAR and it’s companion, dread.

Here are some current ‘epidemic’, ‘impending’ ‘catastrophe-in-the-making’, brilliantly-marketed FEARS: Fear of recession, depression, terrorists, war, disease, food, air, climate change, computer crashes, natural disasters, breast size, impotency, break-ins, drug czars and addicts, immigrants and aging.

Here I focus on an area closest to my own experience as a physician-psychiatrist: the fear of illness and dying. As you read about overcoming and transcending this fear, think of it as an effective metaphor for the other fears listed above. When you come to the end reread the piece substituting each fear.

Start with this fact: To fear our body is a powerful way to create disease. Why is this? Because fear is about being attacked and when you think you are going to be attacked you are both hard-wired and soft-wired for flight or fight. This, in simple terms, is bad for your physical health when carried on continuously or repetitively on an intermittent basis. Your body is not set up to be constantly on the alert for danger or shocked repeatedly by the unexpected. It is not necessary to go into the physiology of why this might lead to high blood pressure, heart attack, stroke and even cancer. Here is the rub: If fear can be created it leads to disease thereby proving that the fear was warranted. This is every politician, salesman and businessman’s dream: to create a need for snake oil. Read the Rest of This Article »