Why Nothing Is Scarier Than Change
This post is inspired by another blog post – by Catherine Caine at Cash and Joy.
In that post, an (imaginary) therapist and client are having a conversation, which goes in part like this:
‘And what’s the worst thing that could happen if you don’t follow that dream?’
‘Nothing.’
‘Which is scarier?’
‘The nothing.’
And I looked at that, and thought, “There’s a mission for me. Help people to see that the nothing is scarier than following your dream.”
Change is simple, but it isn’t easy
The thing about personal development and personal change is that it’s simple. There are really no magic bullets. There are a few tips and tricks, some things that make it easier, definitely, but the basic idea is simple: Pay attention to the right stuff, take consistent action, and you can achieve pretty much anything. Read the Rest of This Article »
The (re)acquisition of your Personal Power
Photo credit: 42andBlackWatch
Power: What a subject.
We all desire power to varying degrees whether we call it ‘power’ or ‘control’ or something else; whether or not it’s ‘power’ over ourselves or ‘power’ over others; power to do good, power to do evil, power to create, power to destroy…and so on.
We are fascinated by the subject.
- We write about it:
“Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely.” -Lord Acton
- We sing about it.
“I got the power!” -The Hit Crew
- We study those who exercise it in one form or another.
“The new ruler must determine all the injuries that he will need to inflict. He must inflict them once and for all.” – Niccolo Machiavelli
Ultimately, despite all this attention paid, there is one foundational ‘power’ – that many of us lack and want and need more of.
Need a clue? Read the following quotes: Read the Rest of This Article »
Learn The Art Of Following Through: 5 Steps To Ensure You Will Achieve Your Goals
It is already February in the year of 2010. I wonder how many people are still following through their goals or New Year Resolutions? It is sad to say this but most people have already started to put their gym memberships to waste or have stopped following up on their new business plans.
Why is it so hard for people to follow through their goals? How do some people stick to their goals no matter what they face while others falter easily in the face of obstacles? There are certainly some things that those who succeed know that others don’t know. Read on and I will share with you the art of following through your goals.
The Art Of Following Through
1. The Power Of Certainty
Most people set goals that they want to achieve but it is not impossible to achieve your goals when you have doubts and mix emotions. To achieve your goals, you need to have the feeling of certainty that you will be able to achieve your goals.
If you lack the feeling of certainty, most likely you will take half hearted actions and continue to doubt your ability. As long as this cycle exists in your mind, you will start to dread doing your tasks that can bring you nearer to your goals.
Eventually you will have so many doubts that whether the effort you are putting in will give you the results that you want. This will make you feel so frustrated that you will eventually decide to stop following through.
Set any goals that you want but always make it a point to generate the feeling of certainty that you will be able to achieve it. Set goals that can stretch you and not those that you think that it is impossible to achieve. Read the Rest of This Article »
Do You Have the Characteristics of an Effective Leader?
How are some people able to effortlessly lead and inspire others, whilst other meet with constant criticism and failure? What are the qualities that we should look for in potential leaders? If you ever find yourself in the position to offer leadership, what are the factors that will help you lead more effectively?
The following characteristics will help you estimate the leadership ability of others and become a better leader yourself.
Inspire not Command.
“A leader is best when people barely know he exists, when his work is done, his aim fulfilled, they will say: we did it ourselves.” – Lao Tsu Read the Rest of This Article »
Are Ambition and Gratitude Mutually Exclusive?
Continuing the Discussion
When I wrote this post about achieving happiness through a lie, I wasn’t sure what type of reaction to expect.
The discussion that followed in the comments exceeded all my expectations. It made me realize the real value of this site:
Sharing ideas.
A single person’s perspective, no matter how well expressed, is necessarily incomplete. It comes from a single mind, with a single set of beliefs, and a single human experience. Perspectives are neither right nor wrong. They simply exist.
Understanding isn’t determined by what perspective you have, but by how many different perspectives you are aware of and how you relate them to each other. Read the Rest of This Article »
Stop Waiting and Choose Your Own Talent
Men often become what they believe themselves to be. If I believe I cannot do something, it makes me incapable of doing it. But when I believe I can, then I acquire the ability to do it even if I didn’t have it in the beginning.
-Gandhi
We are often held back by common misperceptions about the nature of talent and ability. We are taught that talent is a natural gift; that we have no more control over our talents than the color of our eyes. For many years I waited for my talent to manifest itself so I could reach my potential. Eventually I realized that waiting is useless, that talent is a choice not a gift, and that passion is stronger than any God given ability.
The primary source of confusion is equating talent with natural ability. By making this mistake we discourage ourselves from pursuing what we want. If we aren’t blessed with natural ability then trying seems pointless. But talent is much more than natural ability. Natural ability will get you in the door but not much further. For example, there are thousands of people with great athleticism, but there is only one Michael Jordan. Jordan became the best because he loved basketball to the point of obsession. The true source of his greatness is not natural ability but love.
Love is what motivates people to endure the hours of practice and countless failures that develop skill. Natural ability is insignificant compared to years of hard work and experience. If you really love something, don’t be discouraged by a lack of natural ability. Just work hard to improve, study your trade, learn from experience, and before long you’ll surpass those relying on natural ability alone.
The point I’m trying to make is that love, passion, desire, whatever you call it, is much more important to success than having a natural aptitude. We shouldn’t rely on our natural abilities to guide our lives. For a long time I expected my natural ability to expose itself and put me on the path to success. I assumed I’d come across it by accident and everything would fall into place. I guess I didn’t want to choose or didn’t know how to choose what I really wanted.
Long story short, this passive strategy didn’t work. If you wait for the world to find a place for you, you will be put in a group that really doesn’t fit. You lose your individuality. The truth is the world doesn’t care about finding your passion or reaching your potential. The world sees you as a means of production to be used as efficiently as possible. It is our personal responsibility to pursue our own happiness.
The beauty of it all, is that the key to success and the key to happiness are one and the same. The same love that makes you want to dedicate your life to something also motivates you to practice and develop your skills. So stop waiting for your greatness to appear out of thin air. Decide what you really love and start pursuing it today. No one else is going to do it for you.
Save the World by Being Lazy – Recommended Reading
The purpose of machines is to do work so we don’t have to, correct? This makes sense logically, but as technology advances we find ourselves working more. In truth, we could meet our basic needs working a few hours a day. Most people don’t like working, so why does this culture of overwork persist? Why is work glorified and leisure deemed wasteful and immoral?
Nobel Prize winning philosopher Bertrand Russell answers these questions and pleads for reform in his remarkable essay, In Praise of Idleness. Russell’s writing style is superb. He makes his case with logic and historic examples. Whether you agree or not, this essay will make you reexamine work and its role in your life.
The Next Big Thing: Will It Be You?
Anyone who reads much online has noticed the amount of attention paid to blogs has skyrocketed over the past few years. In fact, if you are reading this via the Problogger writing project, it’s likely the boom has motivated you to start a blog and grab a piece of the action for yourself. Blogging has evolved from the largely ignored rambling of internet geeks into a versatile publishing platform used by giant corporations and individuals alike. Whether you do it for money, networking, or fun, anyone can start a blog, and sometimes it seems like everyone has. Of course, the vast majority of bloggers toil in obscurity and eventually abandon their dreams of internet stardom. So what separates the giants from the dwarves? I have observed two areas where the best of the best distinguish themselves. The first is early entry. The majority of extremely popular blogs have been operating for two years or more. These visionaries saw the potential of blogging before anyone else and entered the market when competition was sparse. They’ve been spending the past few years mastering the blog game and building reputation and authority. It’s no wonder they beat the pants off beginners like myself. And this brings us to the subject of the article. Most of us got into blogging to make it big. For this to happen we’ll have to recognize the next big thing before everyone else, just like today’s blog superstars did a few years ago. Without further adieu, I present my prediction for the future of internet media.
The Age of the Independent Superstar
The emergence of blogs has given the individual a voice. One person, with few resources, can command as much attention as the titans of industry. Video sharing sites like YouTube have given the individual a face and a personality. In the future, the prominence of the individual will grow, perhaps until it surpasses traditional media. We are no longer dependent on traditional media for exposure. But of course, the result of these low barriers to entry is intense competition. This brings me to my second observation on what separates the top bloggers from the pack: unique style and charisma. Although the information contained in a particular blog may be valuable, it is certainly not unique. Anyone else can republish it and many do. We don’t keep reading our favorite blogs for the informational content. We keep reading because we admire the writer, because we feel a deep personal connection that creates trust and respect. This unique connection cannot be duplicated, and that is what elevates the best bloggers. As I said before, the future of internet media is the individual. Those who attain great success will utilize many forms of media (writing, images, audio, and video, to name a few) to share their immense personal charisma and build huge followings. If you want to make it big, I suggest using these tools to share yourself, the best, most unique, most exciting parts of yourself, with the world. So there’s my opinion. What will you do to separate yourself from the pack and attain blogstar status?
Bonus Content – Three Personal Pet Peeves in Blogging
1. Overmonetized Low Traffic Sites – I constantly see sites stacked with ads only to find that they’ve only been running a few months and have very low traffic. Please stop doing this! First of all, it’s a terrible eye-sore, nothing puts me off more. Third, you are really hurting yourselves. People are put off by ads on small sites. This kills your traffic! If you want to make significant money you need to build up traffic first, then monetize. Shoemoney says 1,000 uniques per day is his benchmark for when a site is ready to be monetized. He seems to know a thing or two on the subject. 2. Repetition – The big sites are just as bad as the small ones about this. For the love of God, stop repeating each other. It doesn’t help to build readership, it’s just really annoying. If you feel compelled to write on a big topic at least say something surprising. 3. Cheesy List Posts – OK I know these are big traffic grabbers, but I’m begging you, at least mix it up occassionally. I’m looking at you Ririan Project. These posts are mostly compilations of unoriginal material. The blogger barely has to write a word of his own. Show me some wit, some charm, awe me with your talent, but I’ll take anything not in the form of a list. 
Inspirational Quote #4 by Bertrand Russell
To be able to fill leisure intelligently is the last product of civilization.
If you find yourself spending most or all of your leisure time immersed in mindless television or video games you may wish to reconsider your aspirations. These activities steal time and give nothing back. If you wish to benefit from your leisure, spend it intelligently. You will be rewarded with better health, a finer mind, and fewer regrets.
A Letter of Advice to College Freshmen
Dear College Freshmen,
Congratulations on being accepted to the university of your choice and making it through your first semester! I’m sure it feels great being out on your own, and that you’ve already made tons of great friends and had many exciting experiences. I’m writing because I want to tell you a few things I wish I’d known when I was in your position; four short years ago. These are things I learned, regrettably late, that make me wish I could redo college. Hopefully, you can learn from my mistakes.
Find what you really love
It might not seem like it, but the choices you make now affect the rest of your life. We’ll all be working for a long time; having a job you love is essential to happiness. Think about it, people spend more time at work than anywhere else. Do you want to spend your life bored and indifferent, counting the minutes until the end of the day? Right now is the best time to find your passion. You have the free time and resources at your disposal.
Waiting too long to find mine was a huge mistake. I chose an easy employable major. I thought I’d be happy doing anything that paid well. Trust me, this doesn’t work. Unless you fit into a predefined category, you have to investigate many different options to find the right fit. Start looking now and you’ll be much better off. I set myself back a couple years by wasting this opportunity. Now I’m busting my ass to catch up.
Follow your whims. Talk with students and professors who share your interests. You’ll meet a thousand dead ends, but finding the right path is priceless. Don’t expect it to find you and don’t think that it doesn’t matter.
Don’t Sweat the social circles
It might seem like getting into the right frat/sorority and hanging out with the “cool people” is a huge deal, but realize that none of this will matter at all in four short years. The people that are concerned with social circles are insecure. They feel a need to validate themselves with an outside authority. Have the confidence to validate yourself and people will love you for it.
At the end of college those circles evaporate and what remains are the lasting friendships you’ve made. Don’t chase coolness at the expense of real relationships. I wasted a couple years being frustrated by my social position when I should have had confidence in myself.
Neither studying, nor partying, is everything
Don’t be one dimensional; it is important to find balance and avoid extremes. There is a lot more to success than having the best grades and there is a lot more to having a great time than partying nonstop. Don’t let an obsession with either keep you from getting the most out of college.
By being one dimensional, you cut yourself off from meeting people who think differently than you. If you obsess over grades, you won’t realize that there are a lot of really smart people who don’t get good grades. Success is built on more than following the professor’s instructions.
If all you do is party, at the end of college when the party ends, you’ll see that many of your “friends” were only there for the good times, and that without stimulants you have few lasting relationships. It took me a long time to learn that partying nonstop is just as dull and monotonous as studying nonstop. Don’t miss a great opportunity to meet interesting people and discover what really makes you happy.
Conclusion
I hope this letter inspires you to make the most of your college experience and avoid the mistakes that I made. You have a great opportunity to position yourself on a path to happiness and success. By being smart now, you’ll save yourself a lot of time and hardship later. Best of luck in all your future endeavors!
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