Photo Credit: Alaska Photo Path: Photos: Alaska Natives Photos:
Smiling Native Indian Woman

Everyone loves the quote “laughter is the best medicine,” and as a nurse, I have experienced the benefits of smiling and laughter with my patients. In fact, smiling can boost your mood and even your immune system. Keep reading for more fascinating facts about our smiles.

1. Forcing yourself to smile can boost your mood: Psychologists have found that even if you’re in bad mood, you can instantly lift your spirits by forcing yourself to smile.
2. It boosts your immune system: Smiling really can improve your physical health, too. Your body is more relaxed when you smile, which contributes to good health and a stronger immune system.
3. Smiles are contagious: It’s not just a saying: smiling really is contagious, scientists say. In a study conducted in Sweden, people had difficulty frowning when they looked at other subjects who were smiling, and their muscles twitched into smiles all on their own.
4. Smiles Relieve Stress: Your body immediately releases endorphins when you smile, even when you force it. This sudden change in mood will help you feel better and release stress.
5. It’s easier to smile than to frown: Scientists have discovered that your body has to work harder and use more muscles to frown than it does to smile.
6. It’s a universal sign of happiness: While hand shakes, hugs, and bows all have varying meanings across cultures, smiling is known around the world and in all cultures as a sign of happiness and acceptance.
7. We still smile at work: While we smile less at work than we do at home, 30% of subjects in a research study smiled five to 20 times a day, and 28% smiled over 20 times per day at the office.
8. Smiles use from 5 to 53 facial muscles: Just smiling can require your body to use up to 53 muscles, but some smiles only use 5 muscle movements.
9. Babies are born with the ability to smile: Babies learn a lot of behaviors and sounds from watching the people around them, but scientists believe that all babies are born with the ability, since even blind babies smile.
10. Smiling helps you get promoted: Smiles make a person seem more attractive, sociable and confident, and people who smile more are more likely to get a promotion.
11. Smiles are the most easily recognizable facial expression: People can recognize smiles from up to 300 feet away, making it the most easily recognizable facial expression.
12. Women smile more than men: Generally, women smile more than men, but when they participate in similar work or social roles, they smile the same amount. This finding leads scientists to believe that gender roles are quite flexible. Boy babies, though, do smile less than girl babies, who also make more eye contact.
13. Smiles are more attractive than makeup: A research study conducted by Orbit Complete discovered that 69% of people find women more attractive when they smile than when they are wearing makeup.
14. There are 19 different types of smiles: UC-San Francisco researcher identified 19 types of smiles and put them into two categories: polite “social” smiles which engage fewer muscles, and sincere “felt” smiles that use more muscles on both sides of the face.
15. Babies start smiling as newborns: Most doctors believe that real smiles occur when babies are awake at the age of four-to-six weeks, but babies start smiling in their sleep as soon as they’re born.

NursingSchools.net is a website dedicated to proper care giving, healthy living and nursing student resources.

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Interested in beginning meditation but don’t know where to start? The good news is that all you need is 5-10 minutes a day to get started.

Are you thinking to yourself, ‘Ten minutes, I don’t have an extra ten minutes a day! My life is already jam packed with work, family, social obligations, and I’m not even mentioning my growing to-do list”?

Well, what if I told you that the benefits of meditation include a reduction in stress, sharpened concentration, improved circulation – and as you get further into your practice you’ll experience a quieter mind, a more open and receptive heart, a sense of inner freedom – and perhaps even a streak of creativity that’ll help you make films like David Lynch. (Lynch has been practicing Transcendental Meditation for over thirty years.)

Sound good?

Here are six easy tips and meditation techniques for beginners that will help get you started. These tips worked for me when I began my practice – and although I’m a lot further along then I was a year ago when I first started, I still have a way to go – as it’s important to remember that meditation is a process.

1. Be comfortable in a quiet place. Find a quiet place where you won’t be disturbed. To get started, it doesn’t matter whether you sit or lay down as long as you are comfortable. You can sit cross-legged, on the floor, or on a chair. If you can sit erect, then great. If not, it’s just important to have your body in a somewhat stable position. Then have the palms of your hands face the sky.

2. Become “present”, i.e., become totally aware of your current surroundings. What do you hear? How does it feel to sit? Do you feel tension in a specific body part? Where are your thoughts? Are your thoughts running? (That’s perfectly fine, it happens to the meditation pros, too). Just try to sit and “smell the roses” as best you can.

3. Focus on your breath. Breath, breath, breath. Meditation (and yoga for that matter), is all about the breath. Try to take long and deep breaths, and feel your breath move throughout your body — from your lungs and out through your nostrils or your throat. (Breathing through your nostrils is better though either will work). Your mind will wonder (which is okay), just try your best to be as focused as possible.  And as meditation guru, Sharon Salzberg always says, “bring it back to the breath.”

4. Feel your body. Once you’re focused, take notice of your body and how each body part feels. Start with the toes and work your way up to your head. If your mind continues to wonder then bring your thoughts back to your breath. Breath 5-10 times with full concentration on each breath. Take it a step further and hum “Om” as you breathe out if you feel like it. If not, no biggie.

5. Learn from the pros. Deepak Chopra does a lot of things well – including meditation. Check out his 11-minute video where he walks through some great meditation techniques for beginners. Not into video, and you’d rather read? Jack Kornfield’s book, Meditation for Beginners, is one of the best, quick-reads on meditation you’ll find. And if you’re ever in New York City and would like to check out a class then there’s none better than Sharon Salzberg’s beginner meditation classes at the Tibet House.

6. Practice, practice, practice! Like anything, practice makes perfect. Make sure to carve out a time each and every day to practice. You’ll hopefully find all your practice totally worth it as meditation can be life-changing!

Happy meditation!

This post was written by Jason Wachob. Jason is the Curator of MindBodyGreen.com, a site that provides tips, news, and interviews on better, healthy, and green living.

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“Happiness” courtesy of Zhong Bioa

The truth about affirmations:
With all of these books around touting the benefits of affirmations, Psychologists became curious to know whether they actually worked.

They brought together many different subjects, having various degrees of self confidence and told them to repeat positive statements about their self confidence such as “I am confident” and “I am worthy”

What was found is that confident people felt more confident after the experiment while those who lacked confidence felt even worse.

The explanation is simple, when you repeat a statement that matches your inner belief system your subconscious mind will be reminded of the statement and will let you feel good if it was a positive one, on the other hand if you tried to force your subconscious mind to believe in something against its belief system it will sense the deception and so make you feel guilty.

In short, affirmations can never make you happy if you weren’t already happy nor can they make you more confident if you weren’t already feeling confident.

We are not the same:
Read as much as you can about happiness and you will find that most of the sources describe happiness in a different way. Some people will tell you that true happiness is in success, others will tell you that its in fame a third group will tell you that true happiness is being rich.

Everyone describes happiness from his own perspective without putting in mind that humans, unlike ants, are completely different and that what makes Sam happy would never make Sarah happy.

The conclusions is, everyone has his own belief system and according to it his own true happiness differs from others. The key to becoming truly happy to first understand the things that really make you happy then go on a quest to bring them.

Happiness and unmet needs:
If a person lived his life suffering from poverty then became a millionaire he will be the happiest man ever (provided that money was his only problem). Research has shown that normal people who win the lottery return back to their original mood after getting used to it but those who have financial unmet needs never get used to the things they missed in the past.

Happiness In short can be achieved by understanding your unmet needs and working on fulfilling them. If your unmet need is intimacy then money, fame or positive thinking won’t make you happy but only intimate relationships will.

Find your unmet needs, work on fulfilling them and you will discover real happiness. If you are Hungary then nothing will make you feel good except eating and if you tried to drink instead of eating you will still feel Hungary.

Happiness is the absence of bad emotions:
Happiness can also be defined as the absence of bad emotions. If you had a fight with one of your friends in the morning you are less likely to feel happy that day because of the anger you experienced.

Many of us follow life styles that promote stress, anger, frustration and other bad emotions. Even if emotions weren’t intense still they would never allow you to feel happy if they existed.

You must learn how to avoid stress, negative people, unneeded quarrels and any other source of negative emotions that can be avoided.

Happiness and incorrectly set priorities:
Ask anybody about his priorities and he will tell you that happiness is one of them, ask him about the things that he does in life and he will reply saying that he hates most of them.

How many people work at jobs that they hate then claim that happiness is a priority in their life?
How many people stay in abusive relationships yet claim that they want to live a happy life?

If you really want to be happy then happiness must be considered a priority that has an impact on the decisions you make in your life.

To summarize this all, becoming happy is all about understanding what makes you happy then doing it and knowing what makes you feel bad then avoiding it.

M.Farouk Radwan is the Founder of http://www.2knowmyself.com, The Ultimate source of self understanding. 10,000,000 Visits and counting.

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Does Social Anxiety Keep You from Fully Enjoying Life?

Sharon would later cheerfully admit that she had been dreading meeting me; but for now, it was still a sickening nightmare.

Social anxiety is more than just shyness. Just thinking about meeting or mingling with others can cause a pounding heart, shaky voice, rapid breathing, sweating, blushing, an upset stomach… It’s no wonder it sometimes feels easier to avoid other people completely.

For Sharon, even seeing people she’d met many times before – such as family, friends, and colleagues – felt like an ordeal imagined by the Spanish Inquisition. Actually, it was curious:

“I’m okay in a work context or when things are a bit more formal. I know what to talk about. But as soon as it’s kind of unorganized – you know, just mixing with other people – I go to pieces. It’s like I need a well-defined focus or I panic!”

Social anxiety spoils life by getting in the way of what should be fun opportunities to connect with others. Crippling self-consciousness, nervousness, not knowing what to say: all add to the unpleasant mix.

Yes, most people get a little self-conscious at times or feel somewhat shy around others, but social anxiety significantly worsens the quality of life. When you become more confident socially, you open the door to so much – new job opportunities, new friendships, and, of course, more fun.

How do I get rid of social anxiety?

It will come as no surprise that the key is in learning to relax in social situations. When you feel calmer socially, thoughts like: “What do I say next?” disappear. You go into flow and allow conversation to take its own natural path, without feeling you have to force it.

And that horrible feeling of ’all eyes on me‘ fades as it starts to feel much less important if others are focusing on you or not.

The following tips for social confidence will help you feel more relaxed when out with others and allow you to begin your journey from being socially anxious to being the confident person you really can be.

1) Practice being relaxed

Not many people think of worrying as self-programming, but it is. When you worry intensely about upcoming social situations, you are repeatedly linking anxiety to the events. Then when you actually go into the social situation itself, you feel anxious – you’ve programmed yourself to feel this way.

You can start to change this response by taking time to think about the future gathering whilst relaxed – maybe when sitting in a comfortable chair or relaxing in a warm bath. Imagine seeing yourself at the social event, looking relaxed and confident. Do this repeatedly and your body and mind will forge a new and better automatic association to these times.

2) Seek out social situations

Imagine living in a house for thirty years, but always avoiding one room. When you finally ventured into the mysterious room, you might feel a little tense and anxious. Why?

The more we avoid something, the more we send the message to the unconscious mind: “I am avoiding this because it is dangerous.” Your mind, trying to be helpful, builds up the fear of what it is you’re avoiding even more. In nature, we avoid a clump of trees because it might have lions in it or we avoid cliff edges because falling off means death.

We avoid what frightens us and, in return, are frightened by what we avoid. So start actively putting yourself in social situations. In fact, even imagining doing this, as well as doing it for real will help show your unconscious mind: “This is normal.” (See Tip 1)

3) Focus your attention outward

Studies have found that people who rate themselves as shy in social settings have much worse recall for external environmental details because they’ve been looking inward (focusing on their feelings), not outward. So it makes sense to focus outward to lower anxiety. When in social settings, make a mental note of three aspects of the situation you’re in.

For example:

• The colour of the furniture.

• Any pictures on the walls and their subjects.
• What clothes other people are wearing (I must confess I never recall that).

This might seem strange, but it will get you accustomed to focusing away from yourself – which is, after all, the purpose of social situations.

Another way to cultivate outward focus is to ask questions. Social anxiety has us worrying what other people think of us, so focus on other people instead. Be curious. Ask people open-ended questions that require more than just a “yes” or “no” answer. Make a point of remembering what they say and referring back to it later to demonstrate your interest. Again, this forces your focus of attention to shift outward. It’s also nice for other people, meaning you might accidentally make more friends as a ’by-product‘ of this strategy.

Now, overcoming social anxiety is as much about stopping doing certain things as it is about doing new things, so…

4) Use care in how you use your imaginative mind

Your imagination is a wonderful thing. Used constructively, it can be a massive help (see Tip 1 above). But social anxiety often has you using it to scare yourself. This is like using a hammer (a potentially useful tool) to wash the dishes.

Years of public speaking taught me that trying to imagine what people are thinking of you is a big no-no. If you catch yourself ‘mind-reading’, tell yourself the truth: “Look, I really don’t – and can’t – know what these other people are thinking right now!” Ultimately, we can influence what others think of us, but we can never control it. And as you become more socially confident, you’ll care less anyway.

To change any behaviour, your mind needs positive instructions. Don’t think: “I hope I don’t feel terrified as usual!” – this is like someone asking you directions by telling you where they don’t want to end up. Instead, ask yourself: “How do I want to feel in these situations?” And get into the habit of focusing on that.

Find your ‘target feeling’ by looking to times when you are comfortable with others (say, old friends or trusted family members). Then you can use these situations as templates for preparing your mind to perform the way you want in social situations.

To do this, close your eyes and get yourself nice and relaxed. Take time to remember how it feels to be with these familiar people until you get a strong feeling of comfort. Imagine seeing yourself in a formerly less comfortable social situation, but behaving like you do with your trusted friends. This sort of mental rehearsal is extremely powerful and can make a massive difference over time.

5) On being yourself

Part of social anxiety treatment involves teaching people to be relaxed enough to be able to present a less-than-perfect image. That’s right; people who are relaxed about sometimes making a ’bit of a fool of themselves‘ tend to be much more socially confident. There’s no need for you to become a party buffoon, but being prepared to show a less-than-perfect side of yourself is a sign of great confidence. For example, being humorous is a (slight) risk because it might just produce a stony silence (it’s happened to me – no, really!).

The point is that social anxiety gets us caring too much about what others think. Trying to present a perfect front makes us stilted by driving out spontaneity.

Typical self-conscious thoughts are:

• “I hope no one notices I’m tense.”

• “What if people think I’m stupid?!”
• “Who would want to hear anything I have to say?”
• “I think I’m coming across as a weirdo!”

These all imply that occasional tenseness, weirdness, and inappropriate speech are somehow out of the norm for human interaction. Believe me, they’re not (even, I’m sure, inside Buckingham Palace!).

Worrying about ever ’putting a foot wrong‘ is a form of perfectionism. Being a perfectionist is fine when doing surgery, but not for meeting the in-laws or going to that neighbour’s party. Even socially confident people occasionally act a little weird or get the wrong end of a conversation or feel flustered. The difference is, they relax with these things when they do happen.

I worked with Sharon for seven weeks. At the end of that time, she invited me to a party with her husband. We had a real laugh and I could see she was relaxed and having a fun time with many people she’d never even met before (and without too much booze).

I liken overcoming social anxiety to rubbing the rust off a valuable ornament. It may take a little while, but soon enough, the real beauty is evident and things become what they were supposed to be all along.

Mark Tyrrell is a Guest Blogger for PickTheBrain,  therapist, trainer and author. He has written thousands of articles on self help and personal development, many of which can be found at his website UncommonHelp.me

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“Beth” courtesy of Michael Nye

‘”Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will spend its whole life thinking it is stupid.” Albert Einstein.

Ever been told you’re a perfectionist, too sensitive or that you dream or think too much?

To have a high degree of creative intelligence is a gift — but because our society, schools and workplaces privilege more conventional and conformist intelligences, it is not always experienced that way. If you, or your nearest and dearest, do not understand what it means to becreatively intelligent, in everyday terms, a great deal of suffering can ensue.

“In a society that doesn’t appreciate them, creative abilities are often labeled and experienced as liabilities,” says Mary Taylor, LCSW, of the Creative Intelligence Centre. “Highly creative people often face a lifetime of hardship and psychological pain because they do not see themselves or their abilities clearly.  The abilities of highly creative people are frequently hidden under…emotional, occupational andrelationship difficulties.”

While the [creative] person is all too aware of their problems, they are often unaware of their abilities.  This, allied with the fact that they live in a society that prefers linear, rational thinking and behaviour, makes them try to fit into situations that don’t suit them — and thenblame themselves when that doesn’t work out. Hence: “I’m too sensitive”; “I’m too much of a perfectionist”; “I think too much”.

These erroneous conclusions can do “major damage” to self image, says Taylor, and ”attempts made at correcting a problem from this vantage point are frequently unsuccessful because the initial interpretation was in error. Their deepest turmoil often stems from the fact that although they feel they are capable, they are unable to bring their talents into the world in a recognizable or tangible form. They often feel confused in their attempts to figure this ‘puzzle’ out.”

Over time, self-blame and lack of understanding leads many bright, creative people into marginalized lives as adults — underemployed,dissatisfied and often in tremendous psychological pain.

First Stage Problems (Issues that stem directly from the ability itself)

• Depression caused by a lack of creative and intellectual fulfillment – environments which are creatively or intellectually under-stimulating.
• Feeling overwhelmed by the difficulties of managing high ideaphoria and divergent thinking patterns – a high flow of ideas and the capacity to process thoughts on multiple levels simultaneously.
• Sensory overload resulting in anxiety, irritability and fatigue brought on by the combination of strong sensory skills and environmental stimulation.

Significant questions in making an assessment of such problems include:

• “Am I really ‘obsessive compulsive’ or do my finely tuned visual abilities mandate I create an environment of visual beauty and order?”
• “Do I actually have a biochemical depression, or am I an imaginative person living among a plethora of concrete thinkers?”
• “Do I have ADHD or am I attempting to physically keep up with my numerous ideas and interests through multiple projects and activities?”

Second Stage Problems (When first stage problems are ignored or misattributed).

• Identity Problems – Many highly creative people accept mistaken notions about themselves including beliefs of being “too sensitive,” “too emotional,” “too much of a perfectionist,” “thinking too much,” and having “too many ideas.”  These negative descriptions can result in damage to one’s self image and failure to identify the raw ability that may behidden under the perceived problem.
• Adjustment Problems – Many highly creative people struggle because they do not see themselves or their abilities clearly. This can result in the experience of going from job to job or relationship to relationship and wandering through life desperately looking for a purpose.
• Academic Problems – Highly creative individuals often have aptitudes that lie outside the realm of standardized tests, which typically favour linear thinking and the logical/mathematical and linguistic aptitudes. Academic problems can also stem from a lack of compatibility between learning style and teaching style. For example, when a linear-thinking teacher expects a divergent-thinking student to solve a problem using a step-by-step approach, while excluding inductive and intuitive problem-solving methods.
• Medical Conditions – “In my psychotherapy practice, I have witnessed a high correlation between individuals with multiple creative aptitudes and the existence of certain types of medical conditions, most often in the form of allergies, immune deficiencies, thyroid problems and metabolic disorders,” says Taylor.

First and second stage problems are not the result of something intrinsically “wrong” with the person, though that is how they are often experienced.  Rather, they are the result of the stress that accompanies living with unidentified creative aptitudes in a society that does not understand or nurture creative intelligence. “Since creative aptitudes are physiologically based and cannot be “turned off,” first and second stage problems are likely to be compounded over time if effective interventions are not employed.” Taylor says.

What is Creative Intelligence?

Creatively intelligent people don’t necessarily work as writers or artists or in any field labelled ‘creative’. Many work “regular” jobs and may not think of themselves as creative at all. Creative intelligence has little to do with particular activities and more to do with a way of meeting and understanding life.  I define it is “the ability to engage intention and attention in a way that goes beyond the given”.

Applying our creative intelligence invites us to keep both heart and eyes wide open to the emerging moment. We’d all be more creative if we paid less attention to the surfaces, our doings and achievements, our ambitions and desires; and more attention to the depths, the hidden forces and faculties that lie within ourselves and others, within all things and all experiences. We insist on burnishing our worries and wants and wishes, until we are blind to what’s in front of our eyes.

We insist on resounding our opinions, until we’ve drowned out  the whispers of  our hearts. So we fail to see the true visions, to hear the sound of other spheres. And the eternal stream folds back into the infinite nothing, from whence it came, having flowed past our skin instead of through our blood.

Are You Highly Creative?

Use the questionnaire below to examine more deeply how you have experienced this ability in your life — particularly when the ability has been labeled a liability.  What was going on in those times? Did you blame yourself?  If you look back through the lens of seeing yourself as a highly creative person, with an unrecognized gift, how does that change your perception of the event?

For best results, take a notebook and pen and F-R-E-E-Write your answers to those questions.

Do you feel different from those around you or that you are on a different “path” than most?

Have you been told you “think too much” or are “too much of a perfectionist”?

Do/did your schoolteachers berate you for daydreaming or staring out the window?

Were you told you were too ”giddy” or “disruptive” at school?

Do you experience a level of imaginative activity that few around you seem to understand?

Do you believe you have “too many” interests?

Have you been told you are “overly emotional”?

Do you go from project to project?

Do you carry a lot of unfinished projects in your mind?

Do you sometimes feel overwhelmed by the numerous ideas and projects you generate?

Are you more affected than others seem to be by environmental stimuli, e.g the weather, bright lights, loud music, other people’s moods?

Have you been told you are “too sensitive”?

Do you feel dissatisfied and unfulfilled in many of your relationships?

Do people frequently ask you for advice — while you feel there is no one who understands you?

Do you believe you are not achieving what you could be in your work, despite a high degree of competence, ability and experience (and perhaps achievement too)?

If you answered “Yes” to more than 3 of these questions, you are indeed highly creative.

——————————————

Orna Ross is a novelist who promotes creative intelligence for writers, artists & everyone — through her books, speaking appearances and The Creative Intelligence Blog. Her most recent novel is “A Dance in Time” which mixes fact and fiction through the lives of two Iseults: one, a fictional contemporary writer, accused of killing her father, the other an actual historical character, Iseult Gonne– daughter of Maud Gonne, the famous Irish revolutionary and muse to the poet WB Yeats. Orna Ross is currently working on a new novel and a nonfiction book, ‘Go

Creative, It’s Our Native State’.

http://www.ornaross.com

http://www.creativeintelligenceblog.com

Before I began to write, I didn’t fully understand the effects of the past on the present.  Instead, for years, the past appeared in my mind’s eye like faded black-and-white photographs, in which no one, especially me, seemed to be fully alive.

Growing up, I lived a double life.  On the face of it, we seemed like a normal, happy family:  My father had an important career.  We lived in nice houses and wore pretty clothes.  But all this seeming perfection was a veneer, masking the reality that my father sexually molested me, a reality never spoken aloud.

Later, as an adult, I continued to live a double life: this time as a sex addict.  Again, in public, I appeared normal, with a seemingly good marriage.  No one knew that the shiny façade hid dark secrets: I cheated on my husband.

Then I started putting words on the page.  Finally, I chose to examine my past.

In Fearless  Confessions: a Writer’s Guide to Memoir, I encourage you, and you, and you, to explore, through writing, your life, as well.  Whether your childhood was traumatic or not, whether your current life is in disarray, chances are you do have a story to tell.  Whether, say, you’re figuring out a divorce, taking notes about a recent illness, exploring the disruption caused by a parent in the military, or worrying about a visit with an estranged mother, we write memoir to better understand ourselves, as well as to bring a reader with us on our journeys.

Here are five reasons why your life will be improved by writing a memoir, by telling your own story:

One:  Memoir Helps You Understand the Past

I gain much clearer insights about my past when I write, then if I simply sit around thinking about it, in the abstract.  What was the relationship between the sex addiction and being molested by my father?  How did the past cause such emotional devastation?  I discovered the answers to these important questions through the written word.

Writing is a way to interact with—and interpret—the past.  It helps us make sense of events, whether they are traumatic, joyful, or maybe just confusing.  Writing sharpens our senses so that images and details from the past emerge in a new context, one that illuminates events for ourselves as well as for our readers.

Two:  Memoir Organizes Your Life

Just living my life day by day, I never stop long enough to question events.  There’re errands to run, meals to cook—to say nothing of emotional clutter!  Who has time to stop and think about events swirling around us?

Only when I put my everyday life on hold, so to speak, sit down at my computer and write, can I even begin to see a pattern to the rush-and-tumble of life.

Memoir writing, gathering words onto pieces of paper or on a computer, helps us shape our lives.  By discovering plot, arc, theme, and metaphor, we give our lives an organization, a frame, which they would not otherwise have.  Memoir creates a narrative, a life story.

Three:  Memoir Helps You Discover Your Life Force

Before I wrote, while I kept secrets, I didn’t feel as if I were really living my life.  I didn’t have a clear grasp as to who I was.  What, and who, was the essence of “me”?  There are thousands of other incest survivors.  How was my story different?

When writing, if I forge even one good sentence on any given day, I have discovered a kernel of emotional truth.  I feel that life force of “me,” as if it’s my pulse.  To write is to give birth to a more complete self.

There is only one of you.  Your voice is unique.  If you don’t express yourself, if you don’t fully explore who you are, that essence of you will be lost.

Four:  Memoir Helps Others to Heal

One thing I most love about writing memoir, is that it affords me the opportunity to meet many courageous people, still struggling.

For example, after I completed a reading at a library in Athens, Georgia, one woman waited until everyone else had departed.  Approaching me, she was so scared she began to cry.  She confided that I was the first person she’d told that her father had molested her.  She was too traumatized even to tell a therapist.  Why did she confide in me, trust me?  Simply because I had written my story.  Through this meeting, both of us were empowered.

Five:  Confessing, through Memoir, is Good for the Soul

Telling family secrets—any intimate secret—can be scary.  Finally, however, I reached a place where not telling the secrets was worse.  I felt heavy, weighted down.  Finally, then, it was more a relief to write my life, then ignore it.  So even though at times I felt scared or uncomfortable, I ultimately felt a sense of release and power.

In short, with every word the pain lessened.  It was as if I extracted it, one word at a time.

As you challenge yourself, you’ll feel more courageous every day. Writing memoir energizes your psyche, nourishes your soul.

Sue William Silverman is a Guest Blogger for PickTheBrain.  memoir, Love Sick: One Woman’s Journey through Sexual Addiction (Norton), is also a Lifetime TV movie.  Her first memoir, Because I Remember Terror, Father, I Remember You, won the AWP award in creative nonfiction.  She teaches at the Vermont College of Fine Arts and has appeared on such programs as The View and Anderson Cooper – 360.  Her most recent book is Fearless Confessions: A Writer’s Guide to Memoir.  Please visit www.suewilliamsilverman.com.

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