Why People Can’t Overcome Their Fear of Failure

You probably agree that the #1 reason why people can’t pursue their passions is MONEY. It takes time to find a way through which your passion can replace the secured paycheck.

However, there is another equally important reason.

On the surface, you can call it the fear of failure!

However, there is a much deeper and critical aspect of your fear of failure, specially when it comes to pursuing your passion.

It doesn’t hurt that much when you fail to achieve an average goal that you’re not so emotionally attached to it.

But when it comes to your passion and what you’ve put your heart in, it looks like there is no comeback.

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Are You Still Afraid of Failure?

Fear is like a toxic poison – it seems you can’t get rid of it by any means and it prevents you from living the life you always wanted to live. I was being “poisoned” with fear for myself and continuously worried about the events that might take place in the future, which included – besides many other things – messing up with my grades or not being able to master the defiances of my life. Even though I wasn’t a scared chicken at all, fear remained a part of my thoughts and often prevented me from falling asleep. Generally speaking I would say that all my worries had one thing in common: the fear of failure. Read the Rest of This Article »

The Seven Stages Of Failing At Self Improvement

Self Improvement is a lot like riding a horse (or a bike).

Sometimes you go too fast and you fall off.

Or you go too slowly and you fall off.

And you might do everything right, and still fall off.

Don’t hate the player hate the game right?

Bottom line is you must stop yourself from freaking out as you fight to stay on.  Just accept you’re going to fall off every now and then. It’s fine because you’re supposed to fall down – it’s part of the journey.  (But no one said you had to lay there in the fetal position.)

When you find yourself face down in the mud, your growth comes from how fast you get up,

There are many stages of failing at self-improvement and I thought I’d share a few (I’m not making light of your challenges, I’m trying to make you see – it’s part of the process – you’re doing just fine!)…

Stage 1: Fall off pony. Bounce. Laugh. Climb back on. Repeat.

This usually happens before the effects of drinking the kool-aid wear off. The sun is still shining, you got too excited and might have bit off more than you could chew, but you aren’t ready to quit yet!

Stage 2: Fall off horse. Run after horse, cussing. Climb back on by shimmying up horse’s neck. Ride until sundown.

At this point in the self-improvement game, you’ve dig your heals in yelling “I’m a soldier!”. You’re going to MAKE it happen or die trying – damnit!  With grit and determination you launch yourself back into your routine, family and friends be damned!  (Until the next tumble anyway).

Stage 3: Fall off horse. Use sleeve of shirt to stanch bleeding. Have friend help you get back on horse. Take two Advil and apply ice packs when you get home. Ride next day.

This is where doubt creeps in and you start secretly wondering what you’re doing wrong.  It didn’t sound this hard at the time, right?  And now, well maybe you aren’t meant to be a better person anyway. You sleep on it, wake up, shake off the cobwebs of questions and talk yourself into giving it another try – today’s a new day!

State 4: Fall off horse. Refuse advice to call ambulance; drive self to urgent care clinic. Entertain nursing staff with tales of previous daredevil stunts on horseback. Back to riding before cast comes off.

This is where you begin crafting an internal story of how hard or impossible it is to make this change.  You might’ve found a way to drop the old story at the seminar, but now your mind is thrilled because it gets to craft a brand new one! So it begins yammering,   “See I told you old dogs can’t learn new tricks.  Why are you even bothering with this nonsense?” (You’ve now forgotten 50% of the course and are fearful you might revert back to your old habits.)

Stage 5: Fall off horse. Temporarily forget name of horse and name of husband. Flirt shamelessly with paramedics when they arrive. Spend week in hospital while titanium pins are screwed in place. Start riding again before doctor gives official okay.

At this point, you’re starting to wonder if everyone who said this was a load of crap was right. You question why you can’t get it right, becoming frustrated with yourself for “not getting” it. Depression or anger steps in to replace fear, as you begin to get angry at the world.  “It’s pointless”, you mumble to yourself over and over, “no one cares any way – just a bunch of selfless jerks.”

Stage 6: Fall off horse. Fail to see any humor when hunky paramedic says, “You again?” Gain firsthand knowledge of advances in medical technology thanks to stint in ICU. Convince self that permanent limp isn’t that noticeable. Promise husband you’ll give up riding. One week later purchase older, slower, shorter horse.

Your own friends are beginning to mock you.  You feel worse than you did when you didn’t know any better.  In fact, if you’d known it was going to be this hard, you would’ve just stayed “asleep”.  When does  it get easier?  Maybe your goals shouldn’t be so “lofty….

Stage 7: Slip off horse. Relieved when artificial joints and implanted medical devices seem unaffected. Tell husband that scrapes and bruises are due to gardening accident. Pretend you don’t see husband roll his eyes and mutter as he walks away. Give apple to horse.

This is where you just give up.  At best you try something new again, later.  Worse case scenario?  You do nothing – you quit on YOU.

Unfortunately at this point, many people get addicted to looking for solutions and turn into a seminar junkie; always looking for a quick fix by trying to find an answer of what they need to DO to become the person they KNOW they can BE.

My point? It’s a bunch of crap (but funny).

I’m not sure what stage of self-improvement you’re in, but I know this.  It doesn’t matter. And there is no where to “be”.

Your evolution is an organic process; the point of ALL of it is the JOURNEY.

When you resist the journey or try to short-cut the process to get their faster, you end up mostly spinning your wheels.

Frustration comes into the picture because you’re trying too hard to change your movie from Forrest Gump to Top Gun, instead of just making Forrest Gump the best darn movie it can be.

You are who you are and most of the time you miss the point of YOU.

So while you can mix it up, maybe Tom Cruise or Val Kilmer will walk onto your set,  but until they do?

Try just loving the one your with…

YOU.

How Failure Can Accelerate Your Success

Image courtesy of the Dana Foundation

No one actually wants to encounter failure in their life. That’s because when you look at the isolated incident, it means that you haven’t found success. However, with the right attitude, you can use your failure in order to get yourself to success in an accelerated fashion.

Overcoming Failure

The first step to overcoming failure is to accept your situation. Tell yourself that failure is a natural part of life, and that you’re not superhuman so you will fail to succeed at certain junctures in your life.

When you attempt to be too perfect that can just be yet another failure on your part. It’ll cause you stress and you won’t be able to get yourself past to the part of acceptance. You might tell yourself that you’re over it when you really aren’t. You don’t want to be carrying that burden around with you forever. Read the Rest of This Article »

How to Overcome Your Fear of Failure

A fear of failure is one of the most common fears. It can be so scary that some people decide not to try at all in order to avoid failure altogether. In the end this just ends up being another kind of failure because you’ll never reach your full potential if you don’t even try.

Accepting Yourself

An important first step to overcoming fear of failure is accepting yourself. Once you accept yourself, you need to take it one step further and believe in yourself. This will come naturally to some, and some people will find that they need more work.

Think about specific situations in your life that you approached with confidence. That extra belief in yourself was likely the deciding factor between success and failure. You need to use that strong belief in yourself to combat fear.

Keep reminding yourself that success starts in your own mind. You need to have the right attitude because as soon as you don’t believe in yourself then failure is sure to follow. You might start to make excuses for yourself and you may even start blaming others or external sources. The way to get over the fear of failure is to stop making these excuses and take responsibility for your success. Read the Rest of This Article »