Day 13: Stop Making These Common Mistakes – This Is How You Can Be Truly Happy

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Categories: 90 days

Would you be happy if you won the lottery?

How about if George Clooney or Monica Belluci asked you to spend the night?

What if you were taller, thinner, faster, smarter or simply better at every thing you did?

Truth is, many people wait for happiness to happen to them, and end up squandering all the millions of seconds they could be using to make themselves truly happy, inside and out.

Most people don’t believe that we have the power to actively change their state from miserable and morose to happy and satisfied. And the kicker is, it doesn’t too much effort to change states naturally.

The real challenge is having the faith to try.

1. You’re putting off doing things that would make you feel better until you feel better. It’s a vicious circle – you don’t like the way you look, so you avoid social interaction. But this makes you feel more isolated, while making it more difficult to become motivated or make positive changes in your life.

What would happen if you did the things you wanted to do now instead of waiting for some time in the future when you feel like you’ll be “better”? Why put off doing those things that will help you feel more joy, more confidence and more alive?

2. You think only BIG efforts count. Have you ever heard someone going through a laundry list of reasons why they can’t work out, then peer at you with incredulous eyes when you suggest simply heading outside for a stroll, rather than waiting until they can afford a gym membership and personal trainer?

We often ignore the little things we could do to set us in a better state because we mistakenly feel that only the big stuff counts.

3. You believe there is only one truth to a situation. I can’t count the number of arguments I’ve had with people when I’ve attempted to “re-frame” their situation by helping them change their perspective.

For example, if you don’t get the job you interviewed for, you can decide it’s because you suck and the interviewer was determined to see you fail, or you could see the situation as positive learning experience and that it’s a good sign you’re still moving forward.

There is no absolute “truth” to any situation. There are the facts, yes, but there are plenty of ways to perceive at them. The choice is yours, so choose the one that makes you feel more confident, motivated, and better overall. This is not self delusion or being a Pollyanna, it’s making a conscious decision to look at things in a more positive way.

You can naturally change you state and improve you mood, the trick is recognizing it’s in your power to do so. Once you’ve gotten over that hurdle – and for many it is a massive hurdle indeed – you will be on your way to living your life with confidence and being truly happy (even when things aren’t going your way).

 

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Sean Platt is an author and professional ghostwriter, and part of the crew at the lifestyle design site, Your Life’s Blueprint. Life’s better when you follow him on Twitter.

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  • http://firstgenerationwhitecollar.com/blog L. Marie Joseph

    I would add not trying to impress others.

  • http://www.thereflectiveself.wordpress.com Dandy

    Oh what a wonderful post. I agree with everything you said. I’ve wasted years waiting till I felt more confident to go after my desires. I put off living & sunk into avoidance. Things are changing for me now, beacause I’m taking action. The little stuff I do to improve myself is adding up to a better version of me!! Thanks for this thought provoking post!

  • http://www.livingauthentically.org Evan

    Hi Sean, very true. For those of us without major trauma in our background. For those who do things can take a long time – and may involved big efforts (although I tend to advocate a path of doing the next easy thing).

  • http://hanofharmony.com The Vizier

    Hi Sean,

    I agree with you that a lot of people make mistakes when it comes to finding true happiness in life, so it is very helpful that you article addresses some of these mistakes.

    1. Putting things off until you feel better.

    I have always done the things I wanted to do regardless of my moods. In fact it helps to do things you enjoy when you are not up to it. Not only does this lift your mood, it makes you feel better about yourself as well. That is the first step to happiness.

    2. You think only BIG efforts count.

    The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. It is the little things we do on a consistent basis that truly matter. The compounding effect of these little steps add up to produce a large effect in the long run. So if you can take little steps to be happy each day, you will be happier overall.

    3. You believe there is only one truth to a situation.

    I absolutely agree with you here. There is no absolute truth to any situation. It’s how we perceive the facts that matter. We could either perceive the facts in an empowering or disempowering manner. The choice is ours. If we can focus on the solution instead of the problem when we face a challenge, we are likelier to resolve it sooner and be happy.

    Thank you for sharing this great post!

  • http://satisfyingretirement.blogspot.com Bob Lowry

    “There is only one truth in a situation” is an important concept. I disagree there there is no absolute truth in any situation. Gravity works every time whether you believe it or not. If you knowingly cheat on your tax return, you are cheating whether you get caught or not.

    I do agree completely that usually there is not just one solution to a problem. If you believe your way is the only way that will cause great unhappiness in your life.

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  • http://www.arinanikitina.com/ arina nikitina

    Hello, Sean! The three ideas should help many see that glimmer of hope to a “happier” life. Or mood. Or perspective. More often than not, people are to wrapped up in living someone else’ expectations, their partners’ desires, their organizations’ goals and their culture’s definition of living. And so they end up unhappy, even miserable.

    So I would definitely go with L. Marie’s comment of NOT impressing others. That would be # 4 on the list of mistakes keeping people from being happy. It’s about living YOUR life, defining YOUR person, working on YOUR goals and doing what makes you truly happy. More than achieving happiness, you avoid the mistake of wasting time over something you don’t want or need. And later regret it. Now that would be so, so sad, wouldn’t it!

    Keep posting, Sean. Your ideas spark some more from readers like me! :)

    ~Arina~

  • http://upfromsplat.com Ande Waggener

    So much truth here! I’ve discovered the power of #2 this week. I was sick for 6 weeks and unable to exercise and before that, I’d been out of the habit of some types of exercise, like using my elliptical machine, for many months.

    So this week, I decided to go for 2 minute increments once per hour (I work at home). That sounded so easy. Just two little minutes. And it was easy. And it felt great. And now I’ve added another 5 minutes on the rebounder and 15 minutes of toning, and just like that I went from 0 to 40 minutes of exercise a day and it felt like very small steps.

    There’s such BIG power in little forward movements.

  • http://www.collinsforsuccess.com Collins

    Hi Sean,thanks,Thoughts are powerful.Our activities depend on our thoughts.

    Once again thanks!

  • http://www.theunblogger.com Marnie

    I truly believe at this point in my life happiness is a choice. I didn’t always think that way but changing my outlook has made an enormous difference!

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  • http://flawlessconfidence.com Martin K.

    So true!

    “You’re putting off doing things that would make you feel better until you feel better” – that’s the main reason why people are shy. They believe that shyness will somewhat disappear with time. It doesn’t work like this – you have to make yourself feel uncomfortable to get rid of your insecurities.

  • http://flawlessconfidence.com Martin K.

    So true!

    “You’re putting off doing things that would make you feel better until you feel better” – that’s the main reason why people are shy. They believe that shyness will somewhat disappear with time. It doesn’t work like this – you have to make yourself feel uncomfortable to get rid of your insecurities.