Comments on: You Won’t Get Anywhere With Poor Social Skills http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/social-skills/ Sat, 21 Nov 2009 02:44:23 -0800 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: grace http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/social-skills/comment-page-1/#comment-74951 grace Wed, 26 Aug 2009 14:00:17 +0000 http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/social-skills/#comment-74951 Can you give me specific detailed examples that i might be doing that turns people off? Thanks in advance. Can you give me specific detailed examples that i might be doing that turns people off? Thanks in advance.

]]> By: grace http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/social-skills/comment-page-1/#comment-74950 grace Wed, 26 Aug 2009 13:49:46 +0000 http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/social-skills/#comment-74950 i was born shy, beautiful & smart, i am friendly &i liked talking to people but the problem is they dont seem interested in me, what i have to say or want to have anything to do with me. I feel i am always the odd one in the group. I dont know what im doing wrong, can you help? i was born shy, beautiful & smart, i am friendly &i liked talking to people but the problem is they dont seem interested in me, what i have to say or want to have anything to do with me. I feel i am always the odd one in the group. I dont know what im doing wrong, can you help?

]]> By: John Fisher http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/social-skills/comment-page-1/#comment-74703 John Fisher Tue, 18 Aug 2009 04:38:44 +0000 http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/social-skills/#comment-74703 communication skills are more important than social skills cause in order to be a socializer you have to be an effective communicator, well I hope this helps, peace, Sincerely: John Fisher. * Fixed. communication skills are more important than social skills cause in order to be a socializer you have to be an effective communicator, well I hope this helps, peace, Sincerely: John Fisher. * Fixed.

]]> By: John Fisher http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/social-skills/comment-page-1/#comment-74702 John Fisher Tue, 18 Aug 2009 04:35:07 +0000 http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/social-skills/#comment-74702 So in saying this, you need effective communication and that helps you a lot, knowing your communication cues (non-verbal), having proper conversations with people (relating to them in some sense) and being able to communicate and persuade people and form friendships gets you far. However getting back to social interaction skills (social skills), you need to also have empathy and try to socialize properly by being polite and remembering to greet them, people with poor social skills but communication skills can fix there poor behaviors (norms) within the setting usually, lets say you were an effective communicator but a poor socializor and you did something wrong and you knew it and than you used proper language to get the message signaled that's what creates a resolved situation, * Effective communication! Okay getting back to this, here's a scenario where Derek did something wrong. "Derek had met someone in the park (a stranger), he talked to her and while he was talking in the conversation, he had something inappropriate which had hurt the persons feelings, he realized it quickly and used effective communication to resolve the conflict by apologizing". (verbal communication situation *1). " John had talked to his girlfriend over the phone and he said something that was in a joking sense, ally had misinterpretated his message and had gotten upset. As soon as Derek saw Sally he had realized she was sad, Derek tried to apologize using effective communication but it wasn't enough, so after seeing her sad face and knowing her for years, Derek had than gave her a hug and made up by apologizing and explaining to her what had went wrong. (non-verbal communication situation). I know I am not the most effeciant communicator but I am trying to be, I have no disorder right now but I am however going for communication therapy to fix some of this conversational awkwardness or that, well yeah my message is communication skills are more important than social skills, cause someone with poor social skills is most likely gonna exhibit poor communication skills as well, however if both are combined than you can't go in far in life, if social skills are impaired but communication skills are good you will go far in life because you are more likely to have mild/moderate social issues, causing little social interactive dysfunction at all. If you have poor social skills at the severe end you will likely have communication issues as well. If you have poor communication skills you will most likely have social dysfunction to some degree depending if it's speech, language or communicative use, if you have communicative use such as reciporical conversational use you will have social issues as well impairing your ability to have friends, if you have non-verbal you will not have social dysfunction. Well yeah I hope you get my message, communication skills are more important than social skills cause in order to be a socializer you have to be an effective socializer, well I hope this helps, peace, Sincerely: John Fisher. So in saying this, you need effective communication and that helps you a lot, knowing your communication cues (non-verbal), having proper conversations with people (relating to them in some sense) and being able to communicate and persuade people and form friendships gets you far. However getting back to social interaction skills (social skills), you need to also have empathy and try to socialize properly by being polite and remembering to greet them, people with poor social skills but communication skills can fix there poor behaviors (norms) within the setting usually,
lets say you were an effective communicator but a poor socializor and you did something wrong and you knew it and than you used proper language to get the message signaled that’s what creates a resolved situation, * Effective communication!
Okay getting back to this, here’s a scenario where Derek did something wrong.
“Derek had met someone in the park (a stranger), he talked to her and while he was talking in the conversation, he had something inappropriate which had hurt the persons feelings, he realized it quickly and used effective communication to resolve the conflict by apologizing”. (verbal communication situation *1).
” John had talked to his girlfriend over the phone and he said something that was in a joking sense, ally had misinterpretated his message and had gotten upset. As soon as Derek saw Sally he had realized she was sad, Derek tried to apologize using effective communication but it wasn’t enough, so after seeing her sad face and knowing her for years, Derek had than gave her a hug and made up by apologizing and explaining to her what had went wrong. (non-verbal communication situation).
I know I am not the most effeciant communicator but I am trying to be, I have no disorder right now but I am however going for communication therapy to fix some of this conversational awkwardness or that, well yeah my message is communication skills are more important than social skills, cause someone with poor social skills is most likely gonna exhibit poor communication skills as well, however if both are combined than you can’t go in far in life, if social skills are impaired but communication skills are good you will go far in life because you are more likely to have mild/moderate social issues, causing little social interactive dysfunction at all. If you have poor social skills at the severe end you will likely have communication issues as well. If you have poor communication skills you will most likely have social dysfunction to some degree depending if it’s speech, language or communicative use, if you have communicative use such as reciporical conversational use you will have social issues as well impairing your ability to have friends, if you have non-verbal you will not have social dysfunction. Well yeah I hope you get my message, communication skills are more important than social skills cause in order to be a socializer you have to be an effective socializer, well I hope this helps, peace, Sincerely: John Fisher.

]]> By: John Fisher http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/social-skills/comment-page-1/#comment-74701 John Fisher Tue, 18 Aug 2009 04:19:48 +0000 http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/social-skills/#comment-74701 I don't agree with this one bit, if you have poor social skills you just have to modify your social behaviors everybody has trouble with social skills in some aspect, but you can get far with poor social skills (only very mild / moderate) but if it's severe enough or causes misbehavior than than you won't get far. The thing you get far with is effective communication skills (verbal; reciprocal conversations and non-verbal; body language / interpretations/speech), by using effective communication and being a good communicator you will get far. Not only that if you work in a business you will be able to persuade others and be able to function in a group. Asides that social skills are mis-reffered to as communication half the time cause the term gets used as social communication however when using social skills as seperate components such as; social interaction skill and verbal/non-verbal communication skills that sounds more proper, however it both get reffered to as whole social skills social communication / social interaction, but I disregard that term and it shouldn't be applied. I don't agree with you, in order to get far you need effective communication skills that's how and social skills or interactions (social behavior) everyone messes up there at one point or another, so by saying this you are wrong because it's communication what gets us far in life, that's how we form relations with people and that we communicate well... I don’t agree with this one bit, if you have poor social skills you just have to modify your social behaviors everybody has trouble with social skills in some aspect, but you can get far with poor social skills (only very mild / moderate) but if it’s severe enough or causes misbehavior than than you won’t get far. The thing you get far with is effective communication skills (verbal; reciprocal conversations and non-verbal; body language / interpretations/speech), by using effective communication and being a good communicator you will get far. Not only that if you work in a business you will be able to persuade others and be able to function in a group. Asides that social skills are mis-reffered to as communication half the time cause the term gets used as social communication however when using social skills as seperate components such as; social interaction skill and verbal/non-verbal communication skills that sounds more proper, however it both get reffered to as whole social skills social communication / social interaction, but I disregard that term and it shouldn’t be applied. I don’t agree with you, in order to get far you need effective communication skills that’s how and social skills or interactions (social behavior) everyone messes up there at one point or another, so by saying this you are wrong because it’s communication what gets us far in life, that’s how we form relations with people and that we communicate well…

]]> By: Vic http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/social-skills/comment-page-1/#comment-72178 Vic Mon, 30 Mar 2009 02:07:26 +0000 http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/social-skills/#comment-72178 I feel this way. I tried talking to different people. I like people and Im not shy. I just don't find what they talk about interesting and when I come up with something I like they change subject. I feel this way. I tried talking to different people. I like people and Im not shy. I just don’t find what they talk about interesting and when I come up with something I like they change subject.

]]> By: digadeenegots http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/social-skills/comment-page-1/#comment-71870 digadeenegots Sun, 08 Mar 2009 00:11:45 +0000 http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/social-skills/#comment-71870 продам Форд-Фокус 2008 года за 200 тр. торг возможет. срочно!!! +7 960 200 9209 продам Форд-Фокус 2008 года за 200 тр. торг возможет. срочно!!!
+7 960 200 9209

]]> By: New Guy http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/social-skills/comment-page-1/#comment-71839 New Guy Fri, 06 Mar 2009 06:16:40 +0000 http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/social-skills/#comment-71839 Hello, this was a great article and I am happy that I came across it. I have forced myself off and on for 2 years now to try and be more social, but I can never really build relationships well. It is so scary to reveal myself and open up to people. So, I always give up after a few months of trying. Anyway, your article has encouraged me to try again and harder! One place I didnt really try that you mentioned was the clubs and bars. I figured they were kinda "advanced" for my skill level, but, I suppose I should give it a shot. Actually, posting this message feels just as much of an attempt as a bar or club, because I am anxious about opening up even in such an impersonal manner as this. Anyway, from my failed experiences I feel I should offer some advice as well: Like Scott said, social skills take a long time to build, so don't give up. You will go through lots of pain before you get any good at this particular skill. I know I have alot more to go through still, but I will keep trying! I hope everyone else does too. Hello, this was a great article and I am happy that I came across it. I have forced myself off and on for 2 years now to try and be more social, but I can never really build relationships well. It is so scary to reveal myself and open up to people. So, I always give up after a few months of trying.

Anyway, your article has encouraged me to try again and harder! One place I didnt really try that you mentioned was the clubs and bars. I figured they were kinda “advanced” for my skill level, but, I suppose I should give it a shot.

Actually, posting this message feels just as much of an attempt as a bar or club, because I am anxious about opening up even in such an impersonal manner as this.

Anyway, from my failed experiences I feel I should offer some advice as well: Like Scott said, social skills take a long time to build, so don’t give up. You will go through lots of pain before you get any good at this particular skill. I know I have alot more to go through still, but I will keep trying!

I hope everyone else does too.

]]> By: Jason Medina http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/social-skills/comment-page-1/#comment-70931 Jason Medina Sat, 24 Jan 2009 19:55:41 +0000 http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/social-skills/#comment-70931 I forgot to add above: I've been battling a social anxiety disorder for years. Many people would never guess that I have such social issues due to the fact that I can function fairly well in most social situations. But there are many instances in which my anxiety level shoots through the roof, and I go out of my way to avoid certain social situations. I've actually panicked in a few social situations over the years(a very embarrasing situation) and that has made me a little more gun-shy and reticent. Shyness and social anxiety can be tough, life-altering things......They are no joke! I forgot to add above: I’ve been battling a social anxiety disorder for years. Many people would never guess that I have such social issues due to the fact that I can function fairly well in most social situations. But there are many instances in which my anxiety level shoots through the roof, and I go out of my way to avoid certain social situations. I’ve actually panicked in a few social situations over the years(a very embarrasing situation) and that has made me a little more gun-shy and reticent. Shyness and social anxiety can be tough, life-altering things……They are no joke!

]]> By: Jason Medina http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/social-skills/comment-page-1/#comment-70929 Jason Medina Sat, 24 Jan 2009 19:42:48 +0000 http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/social-skills/#comment-70929 Great article; I enjoyed reading it. I am a naturally shy, anxious person, and socializing and social skills have always been a tricky realm for me to navigate. I think about, and analyze, socializing in general, and I have some things that bother me. For one, I feel like an imposter or a con man whenever I try to socialize. Most of the time, I really don't much to say or even a desire to say much, but I feel compelled to follow the "social rules" of human interaction; thus, I find myself "acting" all the time, without really feeling what I'm projecting. So much of the socializing process seems to be so phony and trivial. We(humans) have to feign interest, hide our true emotions and feelings(for the sake of social harmony), and wear "social masks" designed to impress and influence people. All of that is phony, is it not? And I'm not saying that those behaviors are not effective - of course they are - but I can't get over the feeling that so much of everyday social behavior is fake, contrived, phony...... That the popular, socialy-adept people are just the best liars and actors! Help me out here??? lol.... Great article; I enjoyed reading it. I am a naturally shy, anxious person, and socializing and social skills have always been a tricky realm for me to navigate. I think about, and analyze, socializing in general, and I have some things that bother me. For one, I feel like an imposter or a con man whenever I try to socialize. Most of the time, I really don’t much to say or even a desire to say much, but I feel compelled to follow the “social rules” of human interaction; thus, I find myself “acting” all the time, without really feeling what I’m projecting. So much of the socializing process seems to be so phony and trivial. We(humans) have to feign interest, hide our true emotions and feelings(for the sake of social harmony), and wear “social masks” designed to impress and influence people. All of that is phony, is it not? And I’m not saying that those behaviors are not effective – of course they are – but I can’t get over the feeling that so much of everyday social behavior is fake, contrived, phony…… That the popular, socialy-adept people are just the best liars and actors! Help me out here??? lol….

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