Comments on: Feeling Self Conscious? Relax, No One is Staring http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/self-conscious-no-one-staring/ Sat, 21 Nov 2009 02:44:23 -0800 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: Consciousness in Healing the Hidden Self | Self Help Station http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/self-conscious-no-one-staring/comment-page-1/#comment-47193 Consciousness in Healing the Hidden Self | Self Help Station Mon, 17 Mar 2008 18:57:58 +0000 http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/self-conscious-no-one-staring/#comment-47193 [...] acts of self-consciousness and self-control go hand in hand. The fact is that when we are self-conscious we are better able to exhibit self-control. There are many persons out there that are not self [...] [...] acts of self-consciousness and self-control go hand in hand. The fact is that when we are self-conscious we are better able to exhibit self-control. There are many persons out there that are not self [...]

]]> By: Eileen Chen http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/self-conscious-no-one-staring/comment-page-1/#comment-23986 Eileen Chen Sat, 10 Nov 2007 00:18:27 +0000 http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/self-conscious-no-one-staring/#comment-23986 Is it really true that no one is staring? Sometimes I go out and dance around by myself when there's no music, and I see heads turning. When I see someone else do something embarrassing in public, I'll stare, and sometimes I'll remember what they did and even (silently) identify them by it if I see them again. Is it really true that no one is staring? Sometimes I go out and dance around by myself when there’s no music, and I see heads turning. When I see someone else do something embarrassing in public, I’ll stare, and sometimes I’ll remember what they did and even (silently) identify them by it if I see them again.

]]> By: Habit Guy http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/self-conscious-no-one-staring/comment-page-1/#comment-21535 Habit Guy Fri, 02 Nov 2007 23:26:45 +0000 http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/self-conscious-no-one-staring/#comment-21535 Thanks for the comment. I am not aware of any research done on the spotlight effect in other cultures. It would be great if someone did some. We must keep in mind that the spotlight effect doesn't mean that people are never noticed or that they are never judged negatively. It's just that people who think they are in the spotlight overestimate: a) how many observers notice them; and b) how negatively they are judged. It's possible that, in other cultures, more observers notice and the observers are harsher. But because there is a general tendency (I believe) to under-adjust from the anchor of personal experience, the people spilling the water (or what have you) will still overestimate. Thanks for the comment. I am not aware of any research done on the spotlight effect in other cultures. It would be great if someone did some. We must keep in mind that the spotlight effect doesn’t mean that people are never noticed or that they are never judged negatively. It’s just that people who think they are in the spotlight overestimate: a) how many observers notice them; and b) how negatively they are judged. It’s possible that, in other cultures, more observers notice and the observers are harsher. But because there is a general tendency (I believe) to under-adjust from the anchor of personal experience, the people spilling the water (or what have you) will still overestimate.

]]> By: laowaitattler http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/self-conscious-no-one-staring/comment-page-1/#comment-21496 laowaitattler Fri, 02 Nov 2007 15:38:31 +0000 http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/self-conscious-no-one-staring/#comment-21496 I wonder if the research of Tom Gilovich and his colleagues would show the same kind of results in all cultures. I am assuming that the findings were based on studies done only in Western oriented cultures where diversity is the norm.. In a homogeneous society, the results may be different, especially if the person feeling like they are in the spotlight is, simply because they are different. Sometimes, belief a person is being judged is true, and they are noticed by many observers and, when observers do notice them, the observers are hard on them. There’s a spotlight on them. Their social standing does suffer. I wonder if the research of Tom Gilovich and his colleagues would show the same kind of results in all cultures. I am assuming that the findings were based on studies done only in Western oriented cultures where diversity is the norm..

In a homogeneous society, the results may be different, especially if the person feeling like they are in the spotlight is, simply because they are different.

Sometimes, belief a person is being judged is true, and they are noticed by many observers and, when observers do notice them, the observers are hard on them. There’s a spotlight on them. Their social standing does suffer.

]]> By: Alex http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/self-conscious-no-one-staring/comment-page-1/#comment-21479 Alex Fri, 02 Nov 2007 13:15:35 +0000 http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/self-conscious-no-one-staring/#comment-21479 Good info. Important topic. I recently wrote a similar article on my blog called <a href="http://theuniverseas.com/archives/43" rel="nofollow">No One Cares About You Quite Like You</a> . Good info. Important topic. I recently wrote a similar article on my blog called
No One Cares About You Quite Like
You .

]]> By: Ravi Vora http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/self-conscious-no-one-staring/comment-page-1/#comment-21397 Ravi Vora Thu, 01 Nov 2007 19:16:46 +0000 http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/self-conscious-no-one-staring/#comment-21397 I sometimes feel like that when I'm just walking down the street. Everyone is judging me. If I trip even a little bit everyone's going to start laughing at me. Then I realize, hey, they're thinking the same thing. Even if they do trip, I'm probably not going to laugh at them. I'll probably feel bad for them. I bet you $20 they'd feel bad for you, too. I sometimes feel like that when I’m just walking down the street. Everyone is judging me. If I trip even a little bit everyone’s going to start laughing at me.

Then I realize, hey, they’re thinking the same thing. Even if they do trip, I’m probably not going to laugh at them. I’ll probably feel bad for them.

I bet you $20 they’d feel bad for you, too.

]]> By: John Wesley http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/self-conscious-no-one-staring/comment-page-1/#comment-21377 John Wesley Thu, 01 Nov 2007 15:05:28 +0000 http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/self-conscious-no-one-staring/#comment-21377 I really enjoyed this as well. I think it relates to my earlier post about <a href="/blog/overcoming-shyness" rel="nofollow">overcoming shyness</a>. The truth is that people aren't judging you nearly as much as you think. I really enjoyed this as well. I think it relates to my earlier post about overcoming shyness. The truth is that people aren’t judging you nearly as much as you think.

]]> By: Eugene (Editor, Varsity Blah) http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/self-conscious-no-one-staring/comment-page-1/#comment-21376 Eugene (Editor, Varsity Blah) Thu, 01 Nov 2007 14:58:16 +0000 http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/self-conscious-no-one-staring/#comment-21376 Very interesting, Ian. And very true. It's amazing how many times I thought I totally embarrassed myself only to have everyone forget about it completely a few days (or weeks) later! Very interesting, Ian. And very true. It’s amazing how many times I thought I totally embarrassed myself only to have everyone forget about it completely a few days (or weeks) later!

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