Comments on: Overcoming Shyness

By: ese

ese — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 10:45:22 +0000

Like u have rightly said daniel, when it comes to chatting with people on the internet and on phone, I can go on and on but face to face seems to be the problem. Another problem I think I have is that I hardly get interested in what people do or say, that is, I have very limited interests.

By: .......

....... — Sat, 27 Feb 2010 13:58:56 +0000

Yes, you advice is good.
Now i cant overcome shyness i research and i have socailpobia and i have depression.
it drive me nuts PLEASE HELP ME PLEASE REPLY IF YOU HAVE THE ANSWER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!

By: kix

kix — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 14:22:36 +0000

Could you share your fathers tips with me aswell? I would be very grateful
My e-mail is nyjasis@hot.ee

By: Jemma

Jemma — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 12:37:01 +0000

I found myself smiling at so many points in your article, just having my issues verbalised in writing and realising how irrational they all are. I’ve just started university and none of my high school friends are at the same one, so I’m pretty much an anxious/shy wreck when it comes to everything I do. In lectures I can’t pluck up the courage to introduce myself to people next to me, fumble and am way too self-conscious about my every movement. Some people have made the first move, and I’ve been tongue-tied, the conversation deteriorates, then I basically bail without saying goodbye. I’m pretty much jeopardising any chance I have of making friends…so after reading this I’m making a promise to myself to put myself out there and introduce myself and overcome shyness!

By: Cristian Robles

Cristian Robles — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 03:46:17 +0000

Hi! I’m the same as you. a shy person. you can read my comment in the article, it’s somewhere at the top. i have improved on my shyness compared to last year. i was like emo. lol. any way can you tell me some the advices your dad told you please? i would really appreciate it. thank-you!! :p (my email is elemental_fire@sbcglobal.net)

By: Saad Sikandar

Saad Sikandar — Sat, 30 Jan 2010 12:46:13 +0000

WOW this article is really something and it is very comforting to read all the comments here and now i know that there are also people out there like me …

I have a twin brother and he is very out-going and most of the people love him for him openness toward them … He sometimes use self-deprecating humor without any shyness at all … While on the other hand i am very shy and introvert and always get nervous, draw a blank, Stutters, Talk Fast when talking to stranger or opposite sex which is truly a bummer …
I am a good talker and make people laugh when it comes to my friends and Family … But the thing is all the friends i have is because of my twin brother and i dont want to be dependent on him …

When my father noticed my shyness , He told me that he had the same problem when he was in college even though he had alot of money, a apartment and a car AND all the students in the college wanted to be his friend .. But he didn’t overcame his shyness for a very long time
He told me that he didn’t wanted me to have the same problem as he once had …. He gave me some advices on how to overcome my shyness and i have to say that it is really working and have met alot of wonderful people…

By: abraham

abraham — Sat, 23 Jan 2010 21:15:08 +0000

this was damn gud… some problems discussed here were exactly ma problems…i always have the feeling “oh shit wat am i gonna do… am i gonna make a fool of myself…u r a stupid… u r an idiot…blah blah blah…”especially this happens when i go shopping alone… i wait in front of the shop for may be 2 minutes… the conversation as mentioned above will be repeating itself in my head… then sometimes, i walk away and sometimes i pull myself in to the shop. there were many at times i walked away and then got a feeling tat i’m not a man and went back to the shop..so i always try to pull my friends for shopping….wen i’m wid ma friends and ma family i talk to them with ease express myself…but suddenly a new person joins our gang or a person comes for dinner then i cant find topics to speak…my friends always say that i am always a better company wen i am drunk. basically i feel the problem with me just fear to express.. lets c if i can reconstruct the new shyless me… and yeah more advices and suggestions are always welcome…

By: Kristina

Kristina — Sun, 17 Jan 2010 12:19:15 +0000

yeah thats it- too much worry about other`s reactions. I find that most people think that they are more important to other`s than they actually are. Noone`s gonna actually dwell on other`s sayings and personality as much as we think.
My experiment is rather hard, but I feel that at least I have taken a direction and moving towards sth better. Good luck! keep on reading about other shy people for motivation:-)

By: Cristian Robles

Cristian Robles — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 00:02:27 +0000

thanks Kristina! i think your advice will help me out a lot. yea it’s true i think too much of what people will think of me. at home i’m crazy. at school i’m *yawn*..boring! i shouldn’t care if people thinnk i’m gay or stupid. at home my family likes me and i’m able to make my bro and sis laugh. why shouldn’t i act the same with other people? anyway, thanks. if you could overcome your fear, so can I!!

By: Cristian Robles

Cristian Robles — Mon, 11 Jan 2010 23:49:51 +0000

I’m exactly the same! look, here’s some advice. like one of the comments say, you probaably just scared of what u are going to say people will think what you said is gay or stupid or what not, but if u do say something stupid , yea people might talk about but they won’t think about it as much as you. I still have to overcome my shyness. anyway, when i’m with my family i talk a lot and say whats on my mind. but when i’m with other people I don’t know what to say!!! But i know for sure if i think i don’t know what to say when people are talkin about me…IT’S NOT TRUE!!! because if one of my family memebers would say something i don’t care what they say back to me. Think about other classmates in class (if u still in school). They just say whats on their mind, they probably act the same way they do at home, so why shouldn’t u do the same? My biggest problem, and maybe yours too, is when people are talkin to me, my mind goes blank. I’m tryin to think quickly of what to say back. but nothin comes to my mind. The biggest problem of us shy people is probably that we care too much of what people think about us. Like I see this one guy he acts the same way i would with my family, all crazy and stuff, in school, but i can’t act like that in school! lately i’ve been seeing a decline in the number of my friends ( or at least i notice more than before now) So I guess we just have to stay natural when we go out into the world, loosen up, relax, not be so tense, say what you would say if you were typing, talkin on the phone, or with your family. I know all this stuff, but i just put it into practice. but i do gotta say that i have improved a lot since last year in school. I thought i was doin good so far, but then 3 months ago i started feeling down again as i would last year because when i talk to people “I don’t know what to say”. I’m starting to recooperate though. I think the problem was that one of my best good friends,andy, started laughing and saying that i looked funny. he would say the same about my other friend, jeremiah, but he says he only looks funny when he’s mad. anyway i dealt with with his laughing at me for almost a week until i told him that he was pissing me off. i stopped talkin to him because he was annoying to me but then later i wanted to be freinds with him again but he doesn’t wanna talk to me that much as before. man and he was one of my best friends. he found out that i told our other friend jeremiah that he laughs at our “funny faces” and i think that’s why he doesn’t talk to me that much cuz i thinks he feels as if we’re talkin bad about him. then i told jeremiah that he seems to be ignoring me and jeremiah asked him why he wasn’t talkin to me that much as before and guess what he says… he says that when he says somehtin to me, i don’t say that much to him. ever since that incident (and that happened about three months ago) i seemed to think about how many friends i have and that not many people talk to me. I keep thinkin about it now. now i try to talk to andy and he talks to me but not that much, but i realize now, well i actually i already knew, is that i don’t say that many funny things and when i’m done talkin to him he turns to one of our friends in calss, josh, and josh apparently, is very funny to him. when i’m talkin to andy now i continue the conversation but im not that funny. when he talks to josh, josh says many funny things and andy seems to wanna talk to him more than me. right now im not that sad anymore. today i was laughin with my friends and stuff. but the only 2 people botherin me now is Josh and Andy. apparently they like to hang out with people who are ALWAYS funny. when i say somehting funny josh talks to me, but after i while he turns to his even “funnier friends” andy and kevin. I don’t really have many problems with my other friends, but when i see someone is funny everybody wants to hang out with that guy and i think “why can’t i be like that”. the only problem i have with josh is that sometimes when he says something he expects me to laugh, but sometimes i can’t hear him or I don’t get his joke, and i always haer andy laugh at all of josh’s jokes, and it’s annoying because i don’t get a lot of those jokes!! and when he seems to laugh at all his jokes josh seems to talk to him more than me. When i don;t laugh, the guys people that laugh a lot at someone joke, the person seems to want to hang out with him more. so ever since that incident with andy 3 months ago i think now that i don’t have the sense of humor other people have and that they don’t wanna talk with me. i usually feel like that when josh, andy, or this other “funny” guy named daniel is around. mostly andy!!! andy is killin me man!! but when i’m with other people i seem to be happy. so it’s like i don’t want andy or josh in my life. but daniel is cool. even though i wish he would talk to me rather than all the other people in my class (I’m a guy by the way). sorry for talkin about my life. lol. i had to think about what was happening to me in my life. so basically right now my problem is thati wish to be funny. everybody is always talkin more to people that are funny than me. and that hurts inside me man. people laugh when i say something funny. but when other people are ALWAYS funny they wanna talk to them.i still have friends that talk to me rather than other people though. don’t think that im an extreme outcast and that i’m extremely lonely. lol. i’m not a complete loser. lol. (sorry! i had to write what was happening in my life to examine the things that are happening to me, lol) ANYWAY, back to helping you, at home i seem to be funny, but at school or other places not so much, so us shy people just have to loosen up, don’t take ourselves too seriously, don’t be so stiff… be natural, man. just look at all the other people, they say what’s on their mind and sometimes they get embaressed to, but they don’t stay down. don’t think too much about the embaressing things that have happened to you or you think will happen to you. that’s what makes you shy. I would like to talk to you some more, lol. maybe we can help eachother out! here’s my email: elemental_fire@sbcglobal.net you can either reply to me by replying to my comment here or by e-mailing me, but i think email is better. well good luck on overcoming your shyness! reply to me when you get the chance!