Comments on: Listen: This Habit Will Dramatically Improve Your Conversations http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/listen-this-habit-will-dramatically-improve-your-conversations/ Sat, 21 Nov 2009 02:44:23 -0800 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: Kim http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/listen-this-habit-will-dramatically-improve-your-conversations/comment-page-1/#comment-73318 Kim Wed, 24 Jun 2009 02:32:48 +0000 http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/listen-this-habit-will-dramatically-improve-your-conversations/#comment-73318 Enhancing my listening skills is one of the best things I've ever done. It's not only helped me in my personal life, but in my career as well. It's motivated me to work on other <a>self improvement and motivation</a> efforts. Enhancing my listening skills is one of the best things I’ve ever done. It’s not only helped me in my personal life, but in my career as well. It’s motivated me to work on other
self improvement and motivation efforts.

]]> By: Motivation and Self Improvement | PickTheBrain http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/listen-this-habit-will-dramatically-improve-your-conversations/comment-page-1/#comment-73176 Motivation and Self Improvement | PickTheBrain Thu, 18 Jun 2009 18:26:35 +0000 http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/listen-this-habit-will-dramatically-improve-your-conversations/#comment-73176 [...] Listen: This Habit Will Dramatically Improve Your Conversations [...] [...] Listen: This Habit Will Dramatically Improve Your Conversations [...]

]]> By: Laurie http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/listen-this-habit-will-dramatically-improve-your-conversations/comment-page-1/#comment-63437 Laurie Sun, 13 Jul 2008 13:11:26 +0000 http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/listen-this-habit-will-dramatically-improve-your-conversations/#comment-63437 Good post, Scott! Listening is half of the conversation; without it the talking goes nowhere. I like your suggestion on giving an anecdote. This is really important to show you're actually listening and understanding what is being said. I, however, do use the "uh-huh"s, "I see"s etc. as well as the anecdote - not a one-or-the-other approach. I find it's especially useful when someone is talking about a topic that is abstract and/or complicated. It isn't to encourage a monologue, but to provide unobtrusive feedback that discretely communicates to the listener that I'm following and that they're communicating their ideas in a way that I can understand. Thanks for writing on listening - it's such an under-implemented skill! Good post, Scott! Listening is half of the conversation; without it the talking goes nowhere. I like your suggestion on giving an anecdote. This is really important to show you’re actually listening and understanding what is being said. I, however, do use the “uh-huh”s, “I see”s etc. as well as the anecdote – not a one-or-the-other approach. I find it’s especially useful when someone is talking about a topic that is abstract and/or complicated. It isn’t to encourage a monologue, but to provide unobtrusive feedback that discretely communicates to the listener that I’m following and that they’re communicating their ideas in a way that I can understand.

Thanks for writing on listening – it’s such an under-implemented skill!

]]> By: RaAr http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/listen-this-habit-will-dramatically-improve-your-conversations/comment-page-1/#comment-63284 RaAr Tue, 08 Jul 2008 05:17:53 +0000 http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/listen-this-habit-will-dramatically-improve-your-conversations/#comment-63284 Yaa! I heared from many that we have to speak less & listen more but unfortunatly we use to do reverse due several reasions, may we want to show ourself that we know more or may want to build our impression on others or to make frant person shut his mouth for demotivating him or may be several other resions but all these are not good. Wherever necessary we have to speak like if we are giving seminar on that time we have to speak more because we want explain more. Yaa! I heared from many that we have to speak less & listen more but unfortunatly we use to do reverse due several reasions, may we want to show ourself that we know more or may want to build our impression on others or to make frant person shut his mouth for demotivating him or may be several other resions but all these are not good. Wherever necessary we have to speak like if we are giving seminar on that time we have to speak more because we want explain more.

]]> By: Michelle http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/listen-this-habit-will-dramatically-improve-your-conversations/comment-page-1/#comment-63265 Michelle Mon, 07 Jul 2008 19:26:27 +0000 http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/listen-this-habit-will-dramatically-improve-your-conversations/#comment-63265 Great post! As a life coach, I've experienced firsthand that active listening is the most important tool I can use with a client. It's a funny way of putting it, but when you think of actively listening it becomes a much less passive task, as well as being more engaging to a big talker like myself! If you want to practice active listening, you should: (a) not focus on anything other than what the other person is saying & how they're saying it. A lot of times people only listen for a break in the conversation, so they can jump in with their own (and seemingly more important) comment. If you empty your head of your own agenda - & not be scared of a moment or two of silence - you'll be able to listen a lot more fully and completely. (b) recap what the other person has said in the way that you understood it. This will help clarify what is being discussed on both sides, & will help you get to know the other person better. This is especially helpful when someone is coming to you for advice or support. Actively listening is tough, but when I consciously do it....Wow! Great post! As a life coach, I’ve experienced firsthand that active listening is the most important tool I can use with a client. It’s a funny way of putting it, but when you think of actively listening it becomes a much less passive task, as well as being more engaging to a big talker like myself!

If you want to practice active listening, you should:
(a) not focus on anything other than what the other person is saying & how they’re saying it. A lot of times people only listen for a break in the conversation, so they can jump in with their own (and seemingly more important) comment. If you empty your head of your own agenda – & not be scared of a moment or two of silence – you’ll be able to listen a lot more fully and completely.

(b) recap what the other person has said in the way that you understood it. This will help clarify what is being discussed on both sides, & will help you get to know the other person better. This is especially helpful when someone is coming to you for advice or support.

Actively listening is tough, but when I consciously do it….Wow!

]]> By: Ralph http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/listen-this-habit-will-dramatically-improve-your-conversations/comment-page-1/#comment-63173 Ralph Fri, 04 Jul 2008 20:26:10 +0000 http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/listen-this-habit-will-dramatically-improve-your-conversations/#comment-63173 Most people can think recall havig speech classes,presentation, teaching and other speaking training but there is no training for listening. In understanding another person, listening is the only way. Even salesmen understand this. Once they listen to what you are looking for, they can better recommend a product that they can sell to you. When someone listens passively, they will never truely understand another person and that is why I feel strongly that listening is the most valuable communication skill. Great post! Made me think. Most people can think recall havig speech classes,presentation, teaching and other speaking training but there is no training for listening. In understanding another person, listening is the only way. Even salesmen understand this. Once they listen to what you are looking for, they can better recommend a product that they can sell to you. When someone listens passively, they will never truely understand another person and that is why I feel strongly that listening is the most valuable communication skill. Great post! Made me think.

]]> By: Phil http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/listen-this-habit-will-dramatically-improve-your-conversations/comment-page-1/#comment-63144 Phil Thu, 03 Jul 2008 18:03:24 +0000 http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/listen-this-habit-will-dramatically-improve-your-conversations/#comment-63144 Good post Scott. Listening is a greatly under-used skill in life and at work. More managers should take heed of Bob Sutton's advice: "The best leaders ... advocate an 'attitude of wisdom'. Arguing as if they are right, and listening as if they are wrong.” http://www.the-happy-manager.com/great-managers.html Good post Scott. Listening is a greatly under-used skill in life and at work. More managers should take heed of Bob Sutton’s advice:

“The best leaders … advocate an ‘attitude of wisdom’. Arguing as if they are right, and listening as if they are wrong.”

http://www.the-happy-manager.com/great-managers.html

]]> By: Anya May http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/listen-this-habit-will-dramatically-improve-your-conversations/comment-page-1/#comment-63124 Anya May Wed, 02 Jul 2008 23:10:03 +0000 http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/listen-this-habit-will-dramatically-improve-your-conversations/#comment-63124 Great post. Thanks a bunch! It's something I really need to improve too. Cheers, Anya Great post. Thanks a bunch! It’s something I really need to improve too.

Cheers,

Anya

]]> By: Erika Harris - lifeblazing.com http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/listen-this-habit-will-dramatically-improve-your-conversations/comment-page-1/#comment-63122 Erika Harris - lifeblazing.com Wed, 02 Jul 2008 21:34:07 +0000 http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/listen-this-habit-will-dramatically-improve-your-conversations/#comment-63122 As a former hospice chaplain, with years of training in religion and counseling, the SINGLE GREATEST thing I could do for my patients and their loved ones was, simply, to *listen* to them. I saw so many well-intended visitors come and dump platitudes and cliches... when the golden thing to do was JUST BE with the patient. Silence is only awkward to the self-important ego. There's really no need to assault it with our endless litanies of blah, blah, ramble, ramble. As a former hospice chaplain, with years of training in religion and counseling, the SINGLE GREATEST thing I could do for my patients and their loved ones was, simply, to *listen* to them.

I saw so many well-intended visitors come and dump platitudes and cliches… when the golden thing to do was JUST BE with the patient.

Silence is only awkward to the self-important ego. There’s really no need to assault it with our endless litanies of blah, blah, ramble, ramble.

]]> By: Shanel Yang http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/listen-this-habit-will-dramatically-improve-your-conversations/comment-page-1/#comment-63114 Shanel Yang Wed, 02 Jul 2008 17:52:22 +0000 http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/listen-this-habit-will-dramatically-improve-your-conversations/#comment-63114 Three great areas to ask the other person about are: (1) who do they recall most fondly from their childhood; (2) what were their dreams when they were high school; and (3) what's the kindest thing anyone ever did for them. These types of questions are not only interesting in and of themselves, they also help you learn very important things about them -- the 3 most important ones, in fact, for reading people quickly. I write about how to interpret their answers at http://shanelyang.com/2008/06/06/how-to-read-people/ Scott, I wholeheartedly agree that to become a better conversationalist, you must first become a great listener. It's all about the rhythm and give and take of the conversation. When the other seems to have run out of steam (instead of merely pausing to find the right words -- in which case, don't interrupt or offer to help unless they really appear to be struggling!), then it's time to do your share of the work to keep the conversation flowing by commenting on what they said, asking questions for further clarification if they seem like they would enjoy going into further details, or offering your own relevant stories with as much private details as the other person just shared -- as long as you feel comfortable doing that. Then, it's all good! : ) Three great areas to ask the other person about are: (1) who do they recall most fondly from their childhood; (2) what were their dreams when they were high school; and (3) what’s the kindest thing anyone ever did for them. These types of questions are not only interesting in and of themselves, they also help you learn very important things about them — the 3 most important ones, in fact, for reading people quickly. I write about how to interpret their answers at http://shanelyang.com/2008/06/06/how-to-read-people/

Scott, I wholeheartedly agree that to become a better conversationalist, you must first become a great listener. It’s all about the rhythm and give and take of the conversation. When the other seems to have run out of steam (instead of merely pausing to find the right words — in which case, don’t interrupt or offer to help unless they really appear to be struggling!), then it’s time to do your share of the work to keep the conversation flowing by commenting on what they said, asking questions for further clarification if they seem like they would enjoy going into further details, or offering your own relevant stories with as much private details as the other person just shared — as long as you feel comfortable doing that. Then, it’s all good! : )

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