fear

Is Fear Holding You Back? 5 Ways to Find Your Courage

Do you give it your ALL at work and in business…or are you afraid to make bold moves because you don’t want to fail…or worse…be disappointed?

Do you love openly and fully in your relationships…or do you hold yourself back out of a fear being hurt?

Do you give it your all in life? At everything you do?

Don’t fret just yet. Because most people hold themselves back in some way, in some aspect of life, whether they know it or not.

But not you….not anymore. Not after today. It’s time to start truly being you. It’s time to express yourself fully so you can be the most active version of yourself and truly fulfill your purpose.

Here are 5 fears to look out for so you can check in with yourself and make sure they’re not holding you back from living a passion-filled, purposeful life:

1-      They won’t like me! You guessed it: it’s the fear of being rejected. Ask yourself: are you holding yourself back at key moments in life just because you fear being rejected? You might want to ask yourself why. Often a fear of being rejected stems from a tiny lack of self-confidence.

 

Solution: Don’t long for other people to validate you, your thoughts, or actions. Go for what you want and realize that if you’re “rejected” that’s just God or the lawfully-driven universe telling you that there’s a better, more constructive way for you to achieve your goals…you just haven’t found it yet. Whatever you do, don’t give up. Think of rejection as a merge left or merge right sign, not a stop sign.

 

2-      What if it doesn’t work! Ahhh… the all too common fear of failure. Are you holding yourself back because you’re afraid to fail?

 

Good news: what if we told you there’s no such thing as failure? Then you wouldn’t be afraid of it anymore and you certainly wouldn’t let this fear hold you back!

 

Solution: Realize that failure is all in your head. There’s no such thing as failure, there are just results. When you get the results you want it means you should stay on course. And when you get results that you don’t want, it means you need to find out why, and then adjust your approach so you can keep going.

 

What would YOU go for in life if there were no such thing as “failure?”

 

3-      What if I actually make it! You guessed it: the fear of success.

 

Surprised? We’ve all heard it before: many people “strive for success” but deep down inside they think they don’t deserve it. Don’t let this be you. Tell yourself everyday: “I deserve total success!”

 

Solution: Aside from reinforcing the idea that you DO deserve success, try to find any negative beliefs that could be holding you back…for some people it’s put-downs their parent or teachers told them when they were growing up. For others it’s the idea of our inherent imperfection or sinfulness or unworthiness (think original sin). Whatever it is for you, find it and get rid of it. You, like everyone else, totally deserve success.

 

4-      But I’m not perfect! The all too common fear of imperfection.

 

Do you hold yourself back because you’re afraid you’ll make mistakes? Because you think you’re not perfect? Guess what? Even your so-called mistakes are valuable learning experiences and they have nothing to do with who you are as a person (if they do, just adjust yourself so you become better, stronger, smarter).

Solution: Realize that right here, right now you’re totally perfect just as you are…Sure, as you live life you’re going to positively grow and learn. But that doesn’t mean that you’re inadequate or imperfect here and now. Everything you’ve learned up until now is all you need to take the next step in life. So, go for it.

5-      It makes no sense! Sometimes we’re all just a little afraid in general…it’s the fear of chaos. Maybe you’re afraid to be yourself fully at work, in love, and in life because deep down inside you don’t trust the universe…Because you don’t truly believe that everything will work in your favor.

 

A lot of these ideas stem form an unconscious acceptance of chaos theory… when we don’t trust that we’ll really get what we give in life.

 

Solution: truth be told, you get out of life what you put into it…If you’re holding back because of fear, you’ll get less satisfying results just because you were holding back. So let yourself go. Don’t hold back!

 

About the authors: Cece Suwal and Mark Brener are coauthors of the national bestseller, A Guide To Your Supreme Power and cofounders of The One World Initiative, where you can discover your path to money, love, power, success, life purpose, and meaning. Take their FREE  mini-course on happiness, success, and wealth and visit their happiness and success blog.

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  • http://artofaction.net/ Felix Mack

    Interestingly enough, we are not ‘born’ with any of these fears. These are fears we develop over the years, or that are ‘instructed’ on us by negative beliefs such as “you can’t do it”, “you’re too small”, “you’re not perfect”. We are then compelled to ‘hold back’ because of this belief system as you’ve suggested on the post.

    Your solutions suggest that we identify our fears and ‘just do it’. This is key. After all, the more you hold back because of fear, the bigger the fear grows. When we push forward, in spite of our fears – the fear diminishes. Thanks for the post!

    • http://www.theoneworldinitiative.com/freeminicourse.html Theoneworldinitiative

      Absolutely Felix…I agree that most of these fears are conditioned into us and if we really want to grow and move forward in life we’ll need to face these fears once and for all, and then move past them so they don’t hold us back!

  • http://www.discoveryourpeace.com/ Eri

    It is the mighty power of conditioning at work when it comes to all things fear.  The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz is a transformative book that discusses how we become “domesticated” by society, overriding our natural ability to follow our instincts to be happy, to love, to explore, and fulfill our needs … and how we regain our natural state of being.  Find a synopsis of the book at http://www.discoveryourpeace.com/2011/05/17/read-and-be-transformed-the-four-agreements/

  • http://www.rpsmiles.com/ Del Mar Dentist

    This is one good definition of fears that we all feel. Thank you for the insight and information. How do we  start not holding back on everything we do?

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Mark-Brener-Cecil-Suwal/100001609061071 Mark Brener Cecil Suwal

      The best way to not hold back in life is to always remind yourself to be both humble and fearless. In that state of being you can do ANYTHING!

  • http://glynisj.com/ Glynis Jolly

    That last one is me. If it doesn’t make sense, chances are I won’t even attempt it. I need to let go of some of my so-called common sense once in a while.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Mark-Brener-Cecil-Suwal/100001609061071 Mark Brener Cecil Suwal

      Glynis — love the comment. We’d like to add that if something doesn’t “make sense” we shouldn’t do it….but many times people fear venturing out into something they WANT to do just because deep down inside they don’t trust “the universe” … they almost expect bad things to happen which prevents them from starting in the first place…this expectation of bad causes paralysis in a way. The truth is that if we expect everything to turn out good, it will be good. Have a beautiful day!

  • http://twitter.com/SadiyaZaheer Sadiya Zaheer

    The best thing in this article that literally LIFTED me up and got my Eyes WIDE OPEN and  FRESHENS ME UP is ”
    What would YOU go for in life if there were no such thing as “failure?”….I would do everything…i will TRY every dream I have …this makes me Happy now.!

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Mark-Brener-Cecil-Suwal/100001609061071 Mark Brener Cecil Suwal

      So happy to inspire you Sadiya. Have a beautiful day :)

  • Equinox_solstice92

    With number 4, I think the main problem is that people tend to think they don’t deserve what they got was because they think that they didn’t work hard enough to get to where they are. It’s most likely insecurity and I have felt that way because I tend to find a shortcut.

  • http://www.beaconfaceanddermatology.ie/ cosmetic surgery

    this is such an interesting article to read.i liked it very much.it inspire me a lot.from now i will never fear of anything.