Every day, loud children play outside our condo. Strangely this used to irk me. Their shrieks of delight and raucous laughter pierced through the quiet of my home and interrupted me while I was reading, writing or engaging in other activities that thrived on silence.
Then, one day I realized why it bothered me: I was jealous of their joyfulness and zest for life. Of course, I was once a child too, and played with my friends the same way these kids did. And I, too, approached life with spontaneity and amazement, as though it were a wonder to behold.
But something happened on the way to adulthood. Somehow I started to become burdened with obligations and responsibilities. I became regretful over decisions made and full of doubts about those that would have to be tackled in the future. I became saddened by the bad things that happened to the good people I knew, and from reading about the misfortunes of strangers. Life simply was no longer fun.
I would hazard to guess that many adults feel this way. In between childhood and adulthood, things like work, marriage and family intervene and suddenly we become incapable of experiencing the pure, unadulterated happiness we felt when, as kids, we were free of all these things.
But is that the way it has to be? I say, no! There are several simple things you can do as an adult to reclaim the joy of youth:
Avoid the News
The other day I picked up my morning newspaper to see stories on the front page about the mounting job losses due to the recession, a fighter jet that had crashed and killed three people on the ground, a group of Guantanamo Bay prisoners who were going to plead guilty to the 9/11 attacks and a major newspaper company that was filing for bankruptcy.
Reading downbeat news like this can hardly make you feel happy. What I suggest, then, is to skip reading newspapers or news blogs, or watching news broadcasts for one week. In our 24-7 news–obsessed culture, this may be extremely tough to do, but it will pay off. Let’s face it, news organizations thrive on negativity because they think that’s what the public wants. Just think how serene you might feel if you were able to eliminate all of this pessimism from your life, even for just a short while.
Engage in Self-Care
There’s no doubt that our culture glorifies the rebel. In countless books and movies, we’ve romanticized those who have faced adulthood’s challenges by breaking the rules. However, the rebel also carries with him/her a certain self-destructive streak that can only lead to unhappiness.
The opposite of self-destruction is self-care. This means taking a little time out from each day to do something nice and comforting for yourself. Such activities can entail anything from buying new underwear to getting a massage to picking up flowers. You’ll see that when you take care of yourself properly, you’ll be much more joyful. Pampering yourself is also the first step toward being sensitive to the needs of others, and that can ultimately only help you feel more content.
Enjoy Entertainment that Makes You Laugh
When we were children, we were given permission to devote endless amounts of time to playing games, having fun and laughing. As adults, no one is giving us this permission, so we’ve got to give it to ourselves, without feeling guilty about it. We work hard, so why shouldn’t we be able to have some fun?
Make a point of bringing a little joy and laughter in your home by buying some of your favorite comedies on DVD and setting aside a weekend to watch them. The Marx Brothers and early Woody Allen movies never fail to delight. You can also get fun board games geared to adults like Pictionary, Trivial Pursuit or Monopoly. Hosting a murder mystery party with friends is another great way to unwind. It’s a cliché that laughter is the best medicine, but it is also true. Laughter has even been shown to help heal physical ailments when other forms of treatment have failed.
Smile More
Everyone morning at the same time I go to Dunkin Donuts to get iced coffee and every morning I am waited on by the same young girl. I am not a morning person and can generally find nothing to smile about before ten a.m. On one particular morning, however, I smiled at the girl and asked her how her weekend was. She immediately brightened and we got into a small chat. We’ve been friendly ever since.
The moral is: Never underestimate the power of a smile. The more you smile, the more people will smile back at you. And the more this happens, the greater your opportunity for making new friends, or even just nice acquaintances. But it all starts with a smile.–one simple, easy thing that so many of us, hurried and harried, often fail to do.
Reclaiming the joy of childhood is actually easier that it seems. If you try some of these suggestions, you’ll be thrilled when the children playing outside your home rob you of your peace and quiet.
Do you have any suggestions for reclaiming the joy of childhood? Please share them in the comments below.
About the writer: Wendy Aron is the author of Hide & Seek: How I Laughed at Depression, Conquered My Fears and Found Happiness.
Image courtesy of Macieklew.
Play “gothcha” with your dog. Sometimes I forget that one of my dogs is still a puppy at three years old. But if I pretend I’m going to grab him out in the yard, he goes nuts, tearing around the yard in circles at top speed. Then he stops in front of me and drops his front end, turns his ears back and rolls his eyes, which I think may be the basenji version of laughing hysterically. Then he takes off again, streaking the other direction around the yard. Pretty soon I’m laughing and running around, too, and the older dogs are looking at us like we’re both loony.
Imagine yourself being a happy kid helps a lot
Imagine radiating light of happiness while smiling
It is funny, this is the second article today about reclaiming the child within. I certaintly get the message. Remember when we were young, we were never bored. I can think of countless games I made up to keep me entertained. The imagination I had as a child makes the adult in me jealous. Imagine what we could accomplish if we used the power of our inner child’s imagination today? Wow!
I think the joy of childhood is suppressed, so we can definitely reclaim it.
The distinction I have made about why we lose touch with our childlike persona, I believe is due to the changes of our mental focus, values and beliefs between childhood and adulthood.
When we were children, I think the most important feeling we wanted was to feel free – doing what we wanted, when we wanted and as much as we wanted. This changed during adulthood. There seems to be a lot less time and our focus has changed as well.
What I propose is to commit to doing something that brings you childhood joy at least twice a week. Commit to doing something that you loved to do and made you feel the freedom you had when you were a child.
Go to a batting cage, play a video game, play dolls with your daughter – be a little outrageous! Life should be worth living. The key is to commit and take action on your commitment. It will make a world of difference!
A smile is where it starts and it benefits both ways.
“What sunshine is to flowers, smiles are to humanity. They are but trifles, to be sure, but, scattered along life’s pathway, The good they do is inconceivable.” – Joseph Addison (1672-1719)
So relax, smile. Take awhile.
Even if you have to do these things in the privacy of your own home when no one else is home:
1. Dance! Dance! Dance!
2. Giggle at silly things.
3. Play dress up.
4. Talk to an imaginary friend.
5. Draw pictures and color them with crayons. (This is amazingly creative and freeing!)
I especially love this comment – thanks for the tips! I am a person that has forgotten how to be a kid. Now that I have young kids, it is my greatest struggle. I find myself just staring at my toddlers, loving every word, movement, and new action they have. I tear up, laugh hysterically, and make silly gestures, faces, and sounds with them. In those moments, I feel PURE BLISS. Those are the times I get lost in the moment….
But I must admit, it doesn’t come easy for me. Playing with my girls means I simply have to “lose myself” and put away all other thoughts about work, emails, friends, conversations I’ve had or need to have, the Bachelor (ahem), the dirty dishes in the sink. As a Type-A personality, “losing myself” is the most daunting task at hand. And, I constantly, constantly, have to remind myself how much fun I have when I do it.
Being a child is not being afraid of failure.
Kids fail at almost everything they try – but always keep on trying. Don’t be afraid to try new things, and enjoy learning from failing, like a child.
Remember this: No one is born knowing how to ride a bike.
Patrick
veryevolved.com
stand up, spread your arms, and spin around. Silly and dizzying. Stay away from hard furniture. Giggle.
Hey Wendy,
When we grow older, we tend to act in a way that is more like adult. This actually remove the child like attitude in us. When simple things happen, in our adult mode, we tend to ignore it but a child will be so fascinated by it. Sometimes we should have the child like attitude in us and enjoy the simple pleasures in life.
Cheers
Vincent
Personal Development Blogger
Hi
I agree!
Sometimes it is good to actually get involved in a kids activity: go to the amusement park and enjoy some rides, do some hand-painting etc. It can be fun, liberating and expanding!
Juliet
Your post is spot on. Thank you.
I’m off to make snow angels!
Shann
My daughter is 3 and a half years old and is a “Daddy’s Girl”.
I’m not sure how it started but we can sit for hours when I ask her “What would you like to talk about?”. This is imagination at its finest. She will talk about everything from why fresh snow is fun to eat, to where do the birds at our bird feeder live and are their mommy’s and daddy’s with them.
This makes me feel so good and she feels good having the attention and learning. It makes me feel like a kid again seeing the fasination she has for everything and the little things she catches that I block out.
Thanks for this great article!
Bill
Have a good laugh! I love laughing myself silly by watching a comedy.
Or watch an animation movie to revive your childhood. As kids, we all love cartoons. It still works! At least for me…
Cheers~
Mark
My favorite sound has always been that of children’s laughter. One of the reasons I enjoy spending time with my grandkids is that I get to act like a child myself without people looking at me strangely. I can do bellyflogs in the community pool, blow bubbles on the steps of a rented condo, skip down Disney World’s Main Street, and color on the table at Macaroni Grill.
It keeps me young!
Thanks for this post. One thing you also notice about very young children (particularly infants) is that, when they’re doing something, they give it their full attention. When a baby is looking at something, you can see that 100% of its attention is engaged. Adults, on the other hand, usually scatter their attention between hundreds of different anxieties. Simply bringing our full awareness to what we’re doing in this moment, I think, can make a big impact on our quality of life.
You’re spot on. Go back to those years when you were younger than 12, and knew no fear, nor had “grown up” yet, and you will find that it is you really enjoy doing.
My first thought is like Judy, play with my animals. I’ve also gone back to building/making things like with Lincoln Logs or a house of cards. The key: no guilt! No thinking, “Oh I should be doing this or that….” Give yourself permission. Oh, and get a massage!
It is essential to reclaim the joy of childhood,regardless of the stage of life in which you’re in. Children always find ways to make their activities (no matter how mundane they may be) interesting. If we could apply that to our lives, we’d all be much less stressed. Great post!
Great post! I wrote about it on my own blog today.
What I would add is:
Move! (preferably outdoors)
I was going to say exercise, but that sounds a little formal.
There’s something about being out of breath and sweaty that recalls long summer nights of playing “Freeze-Tag”, or “Hide and Seek”. The smell of flowers wafting through the air reminds me of the elaborate “weddings” we used to have in our backyard. It’s impossible for me to be adult and serious when I’m moving and playing outside.
Great post. Not a hard thing for me
@Wendy
I’ve always loved doing silly things, alone or even when I’m with people. Naturally, this led to me being labled the clown of the group. Sometime it makes me wonder if people end up not taking me seriously. but then i realised, I am happy being that way! Thanks for reaffirming that Wendy.
@Patrick
How easily we forget to try. Learning from mistakes sounds too formal and scary. Always keep trying is far more optimistic and doable. Thanks Patrick.
[...] time, because I guess it’s around now that some of us are flagging.) In the meantime, enjoy this good stuff: Something happened on the way to adulthood. Somehow I started to become burdened with [...]
Listen to the tightness in your muscles. Tighten and loosen them. Listen to what they want to do.
Wonderful post!
Last year, I went back to the small town where I was born and spent the first nine years of my life. I hadn’t been “home” in over 50 years.
I think it is very important, at least once in your life, to visit the school where you learned how to read.