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How to Navigate Through Life’s Major Transitions

With economic and personal financial worries becoming part of many individuals’ daily lives, dealing with a major life transition can become overwhelming.

Whether you have prepared for it, like getting married or having children, or it came unexpectedly, like a sudden illness, job loss or family member death, it is important to prepare emotionally and mentally in advance when possible. For some, the stress from these changes can be crippling and lead to a downward spiral of negativity that can impact professional and personal lives over time.

The first step to avoid the common pitfalls is to be aware of life’s five major transitions, which are:

  • Marriage/Having children
  • Changes in career (loss of job, retirement, etc.)
  • Mid-life crisis
  • Divorce or family death
  • Personal health issues

Almost all of us will experience a few of these during our lifetime, so being able to manage these situations in a healthy manner is crucial.

Napoleon Hill, one of the greatest philosophers of the 20th century and author of all-time bestselling success book “Think and Grow Rich,” addressed how our mindset can make or break our ability to conquer life’s greatest challenges in his 1938 manuscript, “Outwitting the Devil.” The work was finally released this summer and provides insights on how each of us can overcome personal challenges.

One of the major reasons that individuals struggle so much with life’s transitions is they let fear control their thoughts, causing them to either get caught in a hypnotic rhythm or stall from moving forward. For example, a woman getting a divorce after 30 years of marriage can be paralyzed at the thought of having to be the sole income provider or manage her own finances. Instead of finding solutions to her fears, she could be in danger of letting that worry become completely consuming.

The key to overcoming fear is to commit yourself to be purposeful and successful in life, even with your emotional well being. Below are seven guidelines to squash fear and “outwit the devil” in your own life, no matter what life scenario you find yourself in:

1.     Definiteness of Purpose. When faced with a life transition, look deep within yourself to find what makes you passionate. Is it your career? Your family or children? By identifying your purpose in life and the things that fulfill you, it will be easier to move past major stressful situations and have confidence in knowing you can and will move forward.

2. Mastery Over Self. You may not be able to control outside stressors, but you can control your own mindset and physical well being. Stay away from addicting habits, like smoking, excessive drinking and unhealthy dietary habits. Maintaining your personal health goes hand in hand with maintaining your emotional and mental health.

3. Learn from Adversity. Every life transition provides a learning opportunity that can be so profound it changes your perspective on life after you have moved through it. For many individuals faced with adversity, they convince themselves that an experience is a huge failure rather than recognizing it may just be a temporary defeat. Although it may be difficult in the thick of a crisis, think about how it may help create fresh opportunities. We have seen hundreds of success stories of professionals who have lost their jobs and found after the shock wore off that it gave them the flexibility to become an entrepreneur, travel or try something they otherwise wouldn’t if they were still employed.

4. Controlling Environmental Influences. Stay away from negative presences and surround yourself with positive and friendly associations. This is often easier said than done, but when faced with a life-changing situation, it can make a huge difference in how you deal with your new life.  For example, a recently married man with dozens of single friends who don’t believe in marriage will influence him negatively if he does not have a strong sense of definiteness of purpose (sustaining a healthy marriage).  He could help control this situation by eliminating those negative influences and finding supportive, like-minded friends.

5. Time. Avoid reflecting on whatever changes may be happening in your life that are not in your control and focus on positive thinking and developing wisdom on how to deal with those changes. Spend your time and energy on creating a positive future. Hill writes, “People are not born with wisdom, but they are born with the capacity to think, and they may, through the lapse of time, think their way into wisdom.” By using our ability to think and analyze our experiences in life, whether successes or failures, we can gain wisdom.

6. Harmony- Act with definiteness of purpose to become the dominating influence in your own mental, spiritual and physical environment.

7. Caution. Think through your coping plan of action before you act. Especially if you are in a fragile emotional state, avoiding rash decisions will keep your stress level at a minimum. Remember, there is no such thing as “do-over.”

If you feel alone in your quest to banish fear from your life when preparing for potential high-stress situations, remember that Napoleon Hill faced a great amount of adversity before achieving his high level of success. Inspiration for “Outwitting the Devil” was a result of the adversity he faced and the rut he found himself in after several business failures and even a time when the mafia was looking to kill him. After fearing for his life for more than a year, he had an epiphany that pulled him out of his depression, which lead him to record his advice in “Outwitting the Devil.”

Remember the seven principles that Hill used to “outwit the devil” in his life, and you too will be prepared for whatever life changes come your way.  Armed with this seasoned wisdom, you will reach the success you so richly deserve!

Sharon Lechter is the annotator for Hill’s “Outwitting the Devil,” which was released in June 2011 and is available on Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble nationwide. This book outlines the factors that keep each of us from achieving our true purpose and offers seven principles to overcome fear and outwit the devil. Lechter is also the co-author of bestseller “Three Feet from Gold” and co-author of the international bestseller “Rich Dad Poor Dad.” For more information, visit www.outwittingthedevil.com or www.slechter.com.

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  • http://www.aplaceinthepattern.com Ariana | a place in the pattern

    Hey Sharon,

    I totally agree with your Mastery Over Self tip. I think it is very important to keep you head strong and realize that the things happening in your life do not define who you are; therefor do not allow yourself to get lost in substances that do not matter nor help you gain control over yourself.

    Also, you mentioned mid-life crisis…but I’d also like to add the quarter life crisis :}…I myself have experienced that one.

    Nice post.

  • http://www.motivationalmemo.com Peter G James Sinclair

    Thanks Sharon for sharing some more of the incredible wisdom that Napoleon Hill wrote. I have personally been impacted by his definitive book Think & Grow Rich – and there is more….awesome!

  • http://ahechoes.wordpress.com/ AH

    I love this “People are not born with wisdom, but they are born with the capacity to think, and they may, through the lapse of time, think their way into wisdom.”

  • http://www.clintcora.com Clint Cora

    One comforting thing for me is know that many others have already gone through such major transitions in life and they did okay. So this can be a matter of ‘if they did it, so will I’.

  • http://www.planetnaveen.com Personal Development | planetnaveen

    Sharon,
    It’s great to see you on pickthebrain. How can I not get influenced by your write up since your Book rich dad poor dad has changed my life financially up-to great extent.
    Again, with this article, you came up with very important topic which everyone of us should think upon and implement. Wisdom makers say , “Change is the only constant in life”. So one who is mentally prepared for change, can handle situations in a better fashion. Strong will power, self belief and a positive frame of mind can ensure a person a smooth journey in the transition phase of life.
    Thanks for this post.
    Keep enriching us with your words of wisdom.

  • http://www.hang-in-there.com Vic

    I like this list. I especially like #2 which I work at everyday. Mastery of self is a skill that can be developed. We all need to incorporate this into to our daily schedule so we can be more effective in life.

  • http://www.Mazzastick.com Justin | Mazzastick

    I have Napoleon Hill’s The Science Of Personal Achievement on CD. I must have listened to that thing 100 times. So much great advice and words of wisdom from something that was recorded 50 years ago.

  • nash

    I somehow feel like I am going through a quater life crisis.. This post came at a good time and hope to implement the helpful tips. Thanks Sharon.

  • http://inseeya.com/ Inseeya

    This is what I usually say to my clients. Well, this is the best article.

  • http://thebooksthatchangedmylife.com marc van der Linden

    It is amazing that Napoleon Hill made such inspiring book that contains so much wisdom that even after 70 years it is still a source of inspiration for so many. It took him a half life and a lot of adversity to allow him to become a “Giant” and spread his knowledge to the world through his books.

    Thanks for the reminder!

  • Champ

    Hi Sharon ,
    I could see a lots of connection with the post – I am also into transition period , to be precise I lost my job last month and i am not so sad because i could not learn much from that job so there was no progress in learning. But having my family it is very difficult to accept such situation.
    Learn from Adversity – this you have mention and i told myself that lets give one exam which i wanted to give from last 8 months but was not able to study because of my work , so I found opportunity from this adverse situation and everything is going fine till now ( starting from being paid member to give exam, showing my experience to be able to eligible to give exam , paying examination fees , getting the dates of exam as required by me ) and will go fine further also.
    Initially I was not able to study at home but i got idea to join Library and i could never discovered that I can study in library if I was working on that job. Now I can study for 6 hrs and will increase the study time to 8 to 10 hrs. I have given any exam last time was in 1995 so after 16 years I am ready to give a hard exam and will succeed – hope this will change my life in better way.
    Thanks for posting and I have read the book – Rich dad Poor dad and also reading book of Napoleon hill :)

  • http://americansurvivalbiblereview.com Alan

    These steps are spot on and helped me deal with a failed marriage, the death of my father, and a cross country job relocation all within a few months of each other. Being unfettered from negative influences helped me to redefine my life and crystalize my purpose. Reinventing myself by pursuing my passions and losing 20 pounds as I exercised mastery over self has helped me to stay positive and focused. Great advice, Sharon.

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  • kashyap

    adding one more point Meditation. that gives inner peace, balance & harmony in life. you can feel complete even without having much materialistic gain if you are regularly doing meditation. through meditation our inner beauty, intelligence shines  out. We can live life in effortless way. http://24x7meditation.blogspot.com/