Comments on: How to Master the Art of Forgiveness http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/how-to-master-the-art-of-forgiveness/ Mon, 13 Feb 2012 09:22:00 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.1 By: Kaba3js http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/how-to-master-the-art-of-forgiveness/comment-page-1/#comment-106280 Kaba3js Fri, 02 Sep 2011 03:31:00 +0000 http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/how-to-master-the-art-of-forgiveness/#comment-106280 Dear Hunter Nuttall, Forgiveness doesn't mean letting them hurt you again, however if they intended to try to hurt you again, you do not go back to with holding forgiveness, you just do not allow them the access to you, you limit the exposure they have to you, you keep them out of your life and thus they can not hurt you if you are not interacting with them,but to revert back to withholding forgiveness is to start back at square one, which is holding onto baggage and negative mental energy that will only hurt yourself!!! Don't give them that power!!! Just my opinion, Good luck!! Karen/NH Dear Hunter Nuttall,

Forgiveness doesn’t mean letting them hurt you again, however if they intended to try to hurt you again, you do not go back to with holding forgiveness, you just do not allow them the access to you, you limit the exposure they have to you, you keep them out of your life and thus they can not hurt you if you are not interacting with them,but to revert back to withholding forgiveness is to start back at square one, which is holding onto baggage and negative mental energy that will only hurt yourself!!! Don’t give them that power!!! Just my opinion, Good luck!!

Karen/NH

]]> By: Kaba3js http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/how-to-master-the-art-of-forgiveness/comment-page-1/#comment-106279 Kaba3js Fri, 02 Sep 2011 03:25:00 +0000 http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/how-to-master-the-art-of-forgiveness/#comment-106279 Hi Secret Keeper, Do you really think that that is realistic, to forget, never bringing it up again??? If the events were traumatic enough, then can you truly ever fully forget??? Karen/NH Hi Secret Keeper,

Do you really think that that is realistic, to forget, never bringing it up again??? If the events were traumatic enough, then can you truly ever fully forget???

Karen/NH

]]> By: Kaba3js http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/how-to-master-the-art-of-forgiveness/comment-page-1/#comment-106278 Kaba3js Fri, 02 Sep 2011 03:17:00 +0000 http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/how-to-master-the-art-of-forgiveness/#comment-106278 Dear Matsulori, You are required to forgive, in my opinion, first and foremost as it will truly free you entirely, you won't have to think about or deal with the painful past at all if your truly forgive and let go, it is honestly a gift you give yourself, secondly GOD freely forgives us for all our shortcomings and mistakes and we can not expect forgiveness from our Heavenly Father, if we are not willingly to freely forgive our fellow imperfect human's for the mistakes they make against us, I so identify with your past experiences with an abusive Mother, I too suffered miserably at the hands of a very dysfunctional Mother growing up, for years, I thought the same way you did, that she didn't deserve forgiveness, as she wasn't the least bit remorseful for what she had done, when in fact, she was, she just didn't show it to me or express it to me until many years later, after I had already freed myself and forgave her. I wish you much peace and happiness in your life and hope that you will try to understand that your Mother and Brother obviously had and have troubles of their own, that have caused them to act the way that they have, no normal well adjusted person would hurt their own child/sibling the way they hurt you, if they were not troubled themselves. I hope that your life is full of joy and happiness and that one day, if you haven't already, you will really and totally forgive them and free yourself from the baggage of the past. I am still learning to do the same and I feel that I am finally winning the war against my anger and resentment!!! GOD BLESS you and be happy my friend!!! Karen/NH Dear Matsulori, You are required to forgive, in my opinion, first and foremost as it will truly free you entirely, you won’t have to think about or deal with the painful past at all if your truly forgive and let go, it is honestly a gift you give yourself, secondly GOD freely forgives us for all our shortcomings and mistakes and we can not expect forgiveness from our Heavenly Father, if we are not willingly to freely forgive our fellow imperfect human’s for the mistakes they make against us, I so identify with your past experiences with an abusive Mother, I too suffered miserably at the hands of a very dysfunctional Mother growing up, for years, I thought the same way you did, that she didn’t deserve forgiveness, as she wasn’t the least bit remorseful for what she had done, when in fact, she was, she just didn’t show it to me or express it to me until many years later, after I had already freed myself and forgave her. I wish you much peace and happiness in your life and hope that you will try to understand that your Mother and Brother obviously had and have troubles of their own, that have caused them to act the way that they have, no normal well adjusted person would hurt their own child/sibling the way they hurt you, if they were not troubled themselves. I hope that your life is full of joy and happiness and that one day, if you haven’t already, you will really and totally forgive them and free yourself from the baggage of the past. I am still learning to do the same and I feel that I am finally winning the war against my anger and resentment!!! GOD BLESS you and be happy my friend!!!

Karen/NH

]]> By: ismikhair http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/how-to-master-the-art-of-forgiveness/comment-page-1/#comment-96949 ismikhair Tue, 05 Apr 2011 04:22:03 +0000 http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/how-to-master-the-art-of-forgiveness/#comment-96949 Hi... Really nice post ! I'm sorry to tell about the picture... i copied & used it in my blog... Hi… Really nice post ! I’m sorry to tell about the picture… i copied & used it in my blog…

]]> By: prom gowns http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/how-to-master-the-art-of-forgiveness/comment-page-1/#comment-86751 prom gowns Wed, 07 Jul 2010 07:39:04 +0000 http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/how-to-master-the-art-of-forgiveness/#comment-86751 This is definitely a blog worth following. This is definitely a blog worth following.

]]> By: matsulori http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/how-to-master-the-art-of-forgiveness/comment-page-1/#comment-69839 matsulori Sun, 07 Dec 2008 01:30:59 +0000 http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/how-to-master-the-art-of-forgiveness/#comment-69839 Is there some reason that you're not posting opinions that differ from yours? Is there some reason that you’re not posting opinions that differ from yours?

]]> By: matsulori http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/how-to-master-the-art-of-forgiveness/comment-page-1/#comment-69835 matsulori Sat, 06 Dec 2008 19:16:50 +0000 http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/how-to-master-the-art-of-forgiveness/#comment-69835 There are many times in my life that I've forgiven, not because I felt I had to, but because it was in my heart to do so. But the most important times in my life when someone wronged me not once but many times, it was the most freeing thing in the world to be told forgiving them wasn't necessary for me to go on with my life. My mother was abusive in every way but sexual. My older brother was abusive in EVERY way. For years I hurt over why my mother did the things she did. I didn't hate her; I was confused; how could a mother hate her own daughter so, to do the things she did? The abuse was bad enough that I ran away from home at the age of 13. It wasn't until I read a book, "Adult Survivors of Childhood Incest," where I read a passage which said it is not necessary to forgive your abuser in order to heal that I finally began to heal, and I'll tell you why: If my mother or my brother had in any way been mentally challenged, I wouldn't think twice about forgiving them completely for having done what they did to me. But they are, and were at that time, in full possession of all their faculties when they beat me (among other things), they knew precisely what they were doing to me as they did it. Why should I forgive them? They probably didn't know how long it would affect me, but they most certainly knew what they were doing as they hit me and called me names. I don't feel the need to forgive them, especially since when, years later, I brought up the matter to each of them separately, and neither was sorry; neither said anything even remotely resembling an apology. If they're not even sorry, why should I forgive? When I was eight, my brother started abusing me sexually. My mother didn't allow either of us to speak unless it was, "yes, mommy," so I began acting out to get attention: I stole some money and bought candy. She beat me with a leather belt including the buckle, an extension cord, her leather shoe, and she made me eat hot sauce, soap, and dish washing soap. She beat me so badly, I had welts that stood up 1/2 inch from my skin, welts from head to toe, except my face -- so bad she kept me home from school for a week. Maybe she lost her mind a little while she was beating me, but you can't tell me it wasn't self-preservation when she kept me home from school. My mother tells me that I bury the hatchet, but keep the handle. Yes, I forgive, but I never forget. And just because she and my brother remain unforgiven doesn't sit and rot in my heart and make me bitter. I don't think about them anymore except when I see stuff like this that reminds me. It is absolutely NOT necessary to forgive to be healthy and go on with your life. People need to be held accountable for the hurtful things they do just as much as they need to be given credit for the good that they do. There are many times in my life that I’ve forgiven, not because I felt I had to, but because it was in my heart to do so. But the most important times in my life when someone wronged me not once but many times, it was the most freeing thing in the world to be told forgiving them wasn’t necessary for me to go on with my life.

My mother was abusive in every way but sexual. My older brother was abusive in EVERY way. For years I hurt over why my mother did the things she did. I didn’t hate her; I was confused; how could a mother hate her own daughter so, to do the things she did? The abuse was bad enough that I ran away from home at the age of 13. It wasn’t until I read a book, “Adult Survivors of Childhood Incest,” where I read a passage which said it is not necessary to forgive your abuser in order to heal that I finally began to heal, and I’ll tell you why: If my mother or my brother had in any way been mentally challenged, I wouldn’t think twice about forgiving them completely for having done what they did to me. But they are, and were at that time, in full possession of all their faculties when they beat me (among other things), they knew precisely what they were doing to me as they did it. Why should I forgive them? They probably didn’t know how long it would affect me, but they most certainly knew what they were doing as they hit me and called me names. I don’t feel the need to forgive them, especially since when, years later, I brought up the matter to each of them separately, and neither was sorry; neither said anything even remotely resembling an apology. If they’re not even sorry, why should I forgive?

When I was eight, my brother started abusing me sexually. My mother didn’t allow either of us to speak unless it was, “yes, mommy,” so I began acting out to get attention: I stole some money and bought candy. She beat me with a leather belt including the buckle, an extension cord, her leather shoe, and she made me eat hot sauce, soap, and dish washing soap. She beat me so badly, I had welts that stood up 1/2 inch from my skin, welts from head to toe, except my face — so bad she kept me home from school for a week. Maybe she lost her mind a little while she was beating me, but you can’t tell me it wasn’t self-preservation when she kept me home from school.

My mother tells me that I bury the hatchet, but keep the handle. Yes, I forgive, but I never forget. And just because she and my brother remain unforgiven doesn’t sit and rot in my heart and make me bitter. I don’t think about them anymore except when I see stuff like this that reminds me. It is absolutely NOT necessary to forgive to be healthy and go on with your life. People need to be held accountable for the hurtful things they do just as much as they need to be given credit for the good that they do.

]]> By: Ken LaDeroute http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/how-to-master-the-art-of-forgiveness/comment-page-1/#comment-69692 Ken LaDeroute Mon, 01 Dec 2008 01:18:53 +0000 http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/how-to-master-the-art-of-forgiveness/#comment-69692 Hi Hunter, We must have been on the same wave length. I thought that the holidays are a perfect time for letting bygones be bygones, so I decided to write a post about forgiveness called "Adopt a Lifestyle of Forgiveness." It's here http://www.affirmationpower.com/blog/?p=388 I was disturbed by the beheadings during the Iraq war, so I decided to write a song about forgiveness on our new CD "Soul Affirmation - Music for Better Outcomes," called "I Choose Forgiveness." Singing this affirmation helps with healing. For me, self-forgiveness has been instrumental in clearing the way for a higher awareness. Without the burden of past transgressions, self-imposed criticisms, and negative self talk, I'm more able to connect with my essential self. This allows for effortless decisions, clarity of mind and inner peace. Thanks for your post. Ken LaDeroute http://www.AffirmationPower.com Hi Hunter,

We must have been on the same wave length. I thought that the holidays are a perfect time for letting bygones be bygones, so I decided to write a post about forgiveness called “Adopt a Lifestyle of Forgiveness.” It’s here http://www.affirmationpower.com/blog/?p=388

I was disturbed by the beheadings during the Iraq war, so I decided to write a song about forgiveness on our new CD “Soul Affirmation – Music for Better Outcomes,” called “I Choose Forgiveness.” Singing this affirmation helps with healing.

For me, self-forgiveness has been instrumental in clearing the way for a higher awareness. Without the burden of past transgressions, self-imposed criticisms, and negative self talk, I’m more able to connect with my essential self. This allows for effortless decisions, clarity of mind and inner peace.

Thanks for your post.

Ken LaDeroute
http://www.AffirmationPower.com

]]> By: Secret Keeper http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/how-to-master-the-art-of-forgiveness/comment-page-1/#comment-69657 Secret Keeper Fri, 28 Nov 2008 20:18:09 +0000 http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/how-to-master-the-art-of-forgiveness/#comment-69657 great post! =) not only forgive..but also "forget" about it..yes, forgive and forget..and not bring it up in future issues.. great post! =)
not only forgive..but also “forget” about it..yes, forgive and forget..and not bring it up in future issues..

]]> By: Stephen Martile http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/how-to-master-the-art-of-forgiveness/comment-page-1/#comment-69644 Stephen Martile Fri, 28 Nov 2008 03:39:31 +0000 http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/how-to-master-the-art-of-forgiveness/#comment-69644 Hi Hunter, As for others I prefer to think of it this way: "What others think of me is none of my business" and well for myself, I"m going to give myself a BIG HUG :) Hi Hunter,

As for others I prefer to think of it this way:

“What others think of me is none of my business”

and well for myself, I”m going to give myself a BIG HUG :)

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