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How to Deny the Devil of Procrastination

Posted on June 27, 2010 by Deborah Nelson | CATEGORIES: self improvement

A couple of days ago, sadly, shockingly, one of my dear friends took her own life. I will miss her largely, and will treasure her joy, laughter, incredible energy, savory jokes, smile, and her love of people. She was a special jewel, and I hope she knows how special she was, even in her afterlife.

When these unforgettable and unexpected events occur in life, I struggle to understand “the lesson.” I believe that my girlfriend is in a more peaceful place, so the lesson is really for me.

My friend was on a roll. But it wasn’t a good roll; it was a downward roll, worsened by procrastination. There were other things involved of course, but I feel that the “devil of procrastination” ultimately took her down. Others may say it was “finances,” or “depression,” but I think her finances could have been mended and the depression would have lifted, had procrastination not been running amuck. It all snowballed and grew into the ultimate procrastination…the procrastination of living, and then…the end of her life.

That got me thinking about how to break the downward spiraling cycle of procrastination before it spins completely out of control and leads to emotional madness. Procrastination is a sensation of fear, a secondary fear and a cover for an original fear, so by the time we identify it; procrastination is a clue we haven’t been dealing well with initial issues. Now we have secondary issues to conquer before solving the primary issues. We must stop the procrastination right away.

Here my scheme to break the hold of the Devil of Procrastination. This is not time management, it is Procrastination Management:

  1. List things you have been procrastinating, call it your Procrastination Management List (you know what they are.)
  2. Now break each item in the list down into the smallest possible micro-parts.
  3. Rewrite the list and title it your Micro-Success List.
  4. Give yourself permission to accomplish only 1 item on the Micro-Success List per day. No more, no less.
  5. Start all over at the beginning of each month with a new “ Procrastination Management List,” break it down into small pieces and create a new Micro-Success List for the month.
  6. Make a thankful list recognizing each micro-success accomplished in the prior month.

This takes about 20 minutes for the initial list and 15 minutes a day, and will prevent you immeasurable heartache. Using this scheme, you can gently bring yourself out of denial (and immobilization); and into a pattern of allowing yourself to experience small successes.

The Devil of Procrastination will taunt us with our failures. As you experience micro-successes, you begin to feel better and can ignore the taunts and negative self-talk. As you feel better and more energized, you accomplish what you thought you were too afraid to do. As you express thankfulness for things accomplished, more fears dissolve! Now you are on a roll. A good roll.

However, if procrastination fears have taken over, we forget “Rome wasn’t built in a day,” and that it really does help to “eat an elephant just one bite at a time!” The Procrastination Management method above applied for just 15 minutes a day, will convince us that we truly can conquer Rome, or whatever we set out to do!  Did procrastination take my friend.? Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe it was just her time to go. Goodbye, V.C. RIP.

Deborah S Nelson is a guest blogger for PickTheBrain and the founder of Author Your Dreams Publishing

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  • michelle

    Thanks for the insight, I really needed this…have been feeling the same myself…will try your suggestion…Thanks..

  • http://unmaskd.wordpress.com Unmaskd

    The best way to deal with procrastination is to get a good dose of reality. And here’s a simple way to do it: http://bit.ly/umotive

    If this doesn’t help, nothing will.

  • http://www.cultivatingheroes.com Jarrod – Cultivating Heroes

    That’s a very interesting use of reframing and focus to turn things around quickly. Nice!

    Personally I like to try and dig a little deeper around the deeper fear, then abstracting that information so I can be more aware of it in the future and catch it before it can take hold.

  • http://www.personal-growth-towards-success.com/ hesbon kerongo

    Am touched by that and for sure we can How to Deny the Devil of Procrastination. keep up the good work

  • http://survivinglimbo.blogspot.com Emily

    I was deeply moved when I read your post this morning. I am disabled by PTSD, depression, and anxiety and cannot work. One of my deepest sorrows is my inability to accomplish my goals. Yes, I still have them, but the depression makes me feel like they’ll never become reality.

    I have been struggling very hard off and on for years to find a way to work around my problem. I started a blog both for myself and others like me to experiment with what works and what doesn’t from various research and advice. It’s very new, and ironically, my last few posts have been trying to come up with a time management system for the “terrified impaired.”

    Your way is different from mine, but the concept of “baby steps” is the same. If my system doesn’t work, I will most likely try yours. Thank you for writing this.

    http://survivinglimbo.blogspot.com

    • http://www.AuthorYourDream.com Deborah

      Emily.

      I really feel for you. But listen, there is hope. I went through a deep dark depression when my mom, my best friend, pass away very unexpectedly, and then 2 months later I also lost my husband. It was dark. I was depressed.

      It took some time, but I did come out of it, and so will you. I have developed a program that will help. Its called Dreams to Reality. I charge for it of course, but I feel moved to send it to you for no charge, if you will promise me to do the homework, I will get you going on it.

      If you are intersted just write me at my email info@authoryourdreams.com and I will give you more information and also get you started!

      deborah S. Nelson

  • Quint

    While I admire the creative re-framing and the search for a light in such a dark situation, I think you have the chicken and egg turned around.

    Mental illness leads to procrastination for a number of reasons. That procrastination can lead to deeper depression as the individual feels worse about the missed opportunities and missed deadlines. The problem is that mental illness makes it very difficult to break out of the morass of procrastination, and the many other issues that that ride along with depression.

    The answer is not to stop procrastinating. That is like telling a drowning person that the answer is to just swim. The answer is to treat the underlying depression, and then your well reasoned process can help the person climb out of the hole they find themselves in.

    PS
    Please accept my condolences at the loss of your friend. We just lost a family member to suicide last week. It is a painful, life altering experience.

  • http://techgurumarketing.com/blog Joe

    So sorry to hear about your friend. That’s very sad.

    You’re advice about procrastination is very solid though. I think the main reason people procrastinate is that the obstacles in front of them (projects, problems, etc) seem so large they get overwhelmed. The best way to deal with this is to chuck down the problems into bite size pieces that you can actually deal with.

    • http://www.AuthorYourDream.com Deborah

      Joe.

      Thanks for writing, and I do understand your point. I do not pretend to be a shrink and to know what comes first–the depression or the procrastination. or the procrastination and then even more depression. When I lost my MOM, who was my best friend, and then also my husband 2 months later, I went through a really deep dark depression. What finally brought me out of it was to BREAK the cyle of procrastination and to start getting things done that started slowly to allow me to feel productive and alive again.

      The main thing is the downward cycle must be broken before it degenerates into total despair. My friend, she was going to hospice and getting grief counseling, because she had lost her husband, but she was running away from that as well, and was so emotionally drained that she couldn’t even do her homework for the grief counseling. In fact, she was supposed to go to a grief counseling meeting, and didn’t want to do her homework for that session, so instead she took her life so that she wouldn’t have to go there. So the very counseling that was supposed to give her hope and guidance was that last straw, so to speak! Not that I blame them, she is the one who killed herself, that was clearly her choice.

      So, I wanted to address “the chicken or the egg” theory, and what it is that can break the cylce of depression! Even the experts, the counselors could not break the cycle for my friend. So I am left to ponder, and wonder, what could have done the trick for her.

      For me when I was in depression, and it was deep and dark, the thing that got me on the upswing was doing one little action at a time, breaking the cycle of procrastination helped me to break the cycle of depression. For some people, they take prosac, and learn how it feels to feel good again, and that is the spark that gets them going again.

      So I am only suggesting that breaking the cycle or procrastination could be one way to break the cylce of depression.

      And you are so right about processing the deal of someone who took their own life, its just a really strange situation to come to terms with!

  • Dreama

    Trust me, she didn’t know “how special she was” or she wouldn’t have taken her own life. This is another example of the lesson we all need to learn; we don’t know what others are going through, so if they are special to us we need to let them know *specifically* how we appreciate them.

  • http://www.AuthorYourDream.com Deborah

    Yes, we do need to let people know how much we love and care for them, how special they are.

    Although we let them know sometimes they just do not receive it. They hear you but the words just don’t register, because they do not feel they deserve it. I am pleased to say that I did let her know, its just that she needed 24 hour care to bring her back to a place of feeling good about herself. Her husband had passed away and he was “everything” to her. She was so dependent on him that she just literally couldn’t go on. He spoiled her with his money, and attention and love so much that she just couldn’t bear it without him. The rest of us, her friends were not wealthy and we had to work, and so as much as we tried to give her that attention, we could not replace him! The truth was it was like a princess all of a sudden having to live as a pauper, she just wasn’t willing to accept that change in her life at her age. I loved her very much, she was a very special person to me! And she knew it. But it wasn’t enough to replace the love and attention of her husband that she was missing.

  • http://www.enrichedwomen.com Miranda Cruz

    I will do my Procrastination Management List tomorrow.

    That being said have become a, shall we say a bad habit of mine. Which I am having a hard getting out of my system.

    I would really like to become more productive.

    • http://www.authorYourDreams.com Deborah

      Miranda, You are awesome. Look at you, already moving in the right direction. When I get really freaked out about doing stuff, I find that only allowing myself to do that one little tiney piece of it (like in the procrastination managment) I trick myself.

      Say like if I have a beauocratic thing to do I break it down into
      look up the phone number. that’s one day
      Dial the number at night and leave a message.
      the next day maybe do a follow up email

      but the point is I ONLY allow myself to do one little tiny piece. I trick myself into actually not being afraid of it! The rule is though, you can only do an itty bitty piece of the bigger thing. Break it into 20 pieces and take 20 days to get it done! That’s better than not doing it at all.

      You can Do it!

  • http://www.mypromdresses.co.uk/ prom gowns

    I would hope to be back tracking. Thanks for the great write-up.

  • http://www.enrichedwomen.com Miranda Cruz

    Thanks Deborah. I know I can.

  • http://www.successupermarket.com/blog/ Martyna Bizdra

    hi:)

    thank you for this article, and I am sorry about your friend!
    Such moments are so complex, and you also realize how fragile life is…
    thank you for the list of things to do as well, I have not thought of it this way yet.
    I think that there is one thing that might be added- that is when you have the list created, think of what your purpose is, what is your message in your life, and every single day begin with it, and then proceed to action to breaking through the habit of procrastination.

    I used to be a horrific procrastinator myself…not any more.

    It can be done, it is a natural improvement.

    Good Luck
    Martyna Bizdra

    • http://www.AuthorYourDreams.com Deborah

      Yes! Martyna,

      Absolutely about purpose. I am actually in the process of writing an entire ebook entitled: PROCRASTINATION ASSASSINATION: My little back book of Procrastination Ammo! HA! One of the Pro Ammo is just this strategy. Pull yourself through instead of pushing. The way we get a PULL is to create a bigger vision, a purpose, an inspiration.

      It really works! Otherwise we feel we get bogged down in details and mundaneness of life, and who wants to do that? No wonder procrastination takes over!

      Thanks for the great comments, and encouragement to all who struggle with this1

  • http://savefast.dnsalias.net/ Sofia

    hi:)

    thank you for this article, and I am sorry about your friend!
    Such moments are so complex, and you also realize how fragile life is…
    thank you for the list of things to do as well, I have not thought of it this way yet.
    I think that there is one thing that might be added- that is when you have the list created, think of what your purpose is, what is your message in your life, and every single day begin with it, and then proceed to action to breaking through the habit of procrastination.

    I used to be a horrific procrastinator myself…not any more.

    It can be done, it is a natural improvement.

    Good Luck
    Martyna Bizdra

  • http://www.enrichedwomen.com Miranda Cruz

    I will surely write you a message Deborah. Thank you so much.

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  • http://www.guyfarmer.com Guy Farmer

    Great ideas Deborah. It really is so powerful to just do one small thing at a time and then celebrate the success. I’ve found that it helps to not think about doing everything at once, just pick one thing and work on that. It also helps us relax more because we don’t have to live constantly juggling various tasks.

  • http://bystander.homestead.com Francis Chin

    Deborah, thanks for a most thoughtful article.

    It is extremely painful to read of someone taking their own life. I cannot imagine the internal torment and suffering that must have reached an unbearable level to drive them to suicide.

    Hence, I was shocked recently by the callous attitude of powerful business people like Steve Jobs, who merely said it was “troubling” when told that slave-like conditions in the factories that make Apple products have driven 10 young workers to suicide. Jobs even said “Gosh the factory has swimming pool and theatres” (his own words), and dismissed the suicide reports as just something inconvenient. He also didn’t know or pretended not to know that the pool and theatres were not meant for the workers.

    Your article did not make clear why procrastination could lead to suicide, although in one reply to the comments, you explained, “she was supposed to go to a grief counseling meeting, and didn’t want to do her homework for that session, so instead she took her life so that she wouldn’t have to go there.”

    But then in another reply, you mentioned a different cause: “She was so dependent on him that she just literally couldn’t go on. He spoiled her with his money, and attention and love so much that she just couldn’t bear it without him.”

    Sorry for being presumptuous, but I hope you can rewrite your article to incorporate those explanations, since not all readers would continue reading the comments section.

    Your comment on the homework reminds me of a recent novel, “All in the Mind” by Alastair Campbell (2009). It isn’t really a novel but a collection of homeworks done by a group of clinically depressed patients for a psychiatrist who dedicated his life to healing others while suffering terrible despair himself. Reading their homeworks is itself a redemptive, healing process, although the ending was so unexpected I burst into tears when I reached that part.

  • http://PeacefulParadox.com PeacefulParadox

    Breaking large projects into small tasks is really important. That gives quick successes that will motivate a person to continue to the next step. And before long, the whole project will be completed.

  • http://www.promdressesol.com prom dresses

    Very awsome post. Hope it will always be alive!

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  • Melody

    My mom is always and I mean always procrastinating. It’s so bad that when she does someone always gets hurt… usually me and no matter what, she just doesn’t learn. I’m honestly tired of it and from reading this post, it makes me feel like I can actually do something about her problem. Thanks.