How To Break Bad Habits

Do you talk over people during conversations?

Do you bite your nails when you are nervous?

Do you drink like a fish or pop pills like a pharmacist?

Have you ever told a lie to get a point across?

Have you ever ignored the people you were with for a better conversation with someone on your cell phone?

Has your recent predicament made you so worried that you can’t focus on anything?

Good, you are human. Each and every person on this earth has habits rather good or bad. There are just some things that we tend to do automatically. They have become so repetitive that they almost seem natural. Habits are inherently neutral but speaking for myself I seem to have more bad ones than good and I think I would greatly benefit from turning the tables. So how do you break bad habits?

WHAT IS A HABIT?

Now in order to break a bad habit you must have a clear understanding of what a habit is. Habits are behaviors that are repeated automatically without any thought or intent. They are so routine that they happen subconsciously. Many of them are created by repetition of a reaction to a specific situation or a measurable amount of positive stimuli.

We all have habits, good and bad, that effect how we respond in various situations. Take me for example. Whenever I get a chance to watch my favorite show Man vs. Wild I must have an ice cold glass of milk and Oreos. That is my good habit. J My bad habit is throwing my dirty clothes on a recliner chair in our bedroom that drives my wife nuts. She thinks we should use the chair for sitting. I use it as a dirty clothes hamper. We have agreed to disagree.

THE STEPS

In an attempt to stay married, for at least another year, I have decided it would be best to get rid of my unproductive habit. Here are a few steps that I have taken on my long road to self improvement that I think will help you as well. Some are easier than others. Good Luck.

Step One

Recognize your habits

You might not notice that every word that comes out of your mouth is negative. Maybe your compulsive drinking habit doesn’t bother you at all. The nature of habits makes them sometimes difficult to detect. They happen on a subconscious level. So if you don’t have your wife screaming at you to stop leaving your clothes in the chair they may require some personal reflecting to identify them. Others may stick out like a person wearing a ‘Go Lebron’ t-shirt at a Cleveland Cavaliers game. Take some time and examine yourself to recognize you habits, good and bad.

Step Two

Replace bad habits with a positive alternative

In my own progression towards becoming a better me and avoiding annoying my wife I have decided to put my dirty clothes in the – wait for it – dirty clothes hamper. This has done some amazing things at my home. For one I don’t have to get screamed at for throwing my clothes in the chair. Secondly I have a comfy chair to drink my ice cold milk and eat Oreos in. It was win-win scenario.

It is best to select an alternative that will have benefits that are apparent and numerous. This will help you maintain the momentum and create a good habit instead of a bad one.

Ex: If you sit in a chair and eat Oreos while watching TV it might be better to run on a treadmill while you watch TV and eat you Oreos. By using this technique you will burn the calories that you gain from eating cookies and improve your endurance for other things.

Step Three

Focus on the positive alternative instead of avoiding the negative one.

Spend your energy and focus on creating positive habits that will benefit you. I don’t know about you but when I try to avoid something intentionally I usually end up doing it because it is always on mind. Alter your focus on modeling good behaviors. In my situation I started by trying to avoid throwing my belongings in the chair. Now I try to make sure I clean up the room every night before I go to bed. Guess what happens when I clean up? The chair often ends up empty until Man vs. Wild comes on.

Bad habits can be broken and good ones acquired but they require the same amount of repetition and consistency that you put in the negative ones. I hear it only takes 21 days to form a habit. I will let you know I am on day 2.

Now it is your turn. I am looking for some help on breaking a bad habit. Share your thoughts and links below I can’t wait to read them.

Frank Jennings is a freelance writer and the founder of A Spark Starts -  ‘All it takes is one spark to start a fire that can change your life!’

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  • http://hanofharmony.com The Vizier

    Hi Frank,

    Great post on breaking habits! Thanks for sharing!

    I think that it was very helpful that you defined what a habit was. With this definition in mind, not only do we know how it works and what we are dealing with, we also become aware of it. Recognition is always important when dealing with a habit. If you don’t even recognize your habit, you can’t change it.

    I have actually written some posts on breaking bad habits. I believe that breaking bad habits requires the following steps:

    1. Motivations: Knowing why you must break a bad habit, the consequences if you don’t and the benefits if you do, serves as the driving force to make your change in habit permanent.

    2. Planning: Due to the deeply ingrained nature of a habit, you have to be thorough in your approach if you wish to make the change permanent. If not it is very easy for you to lapse back into your old ways once your enthusiasm is gone.

    3. Execution: Putting all your plans into practice allows you to see what is working and what isn’t. You will find that as you go along, you will need to adjust your plans based on the experiences you have.

    4. Permanence: Lastly, you have to make sure that your change in habit is permanent. This means dealing with occasional slips and sticking to the best ways that have worked for you thus far.

    I hope that helps!

  • http://www.2knowmyself.com Farouk

    good one Frank, your tips make a lot of sense

  • http://www.transformationalmotivation.com/ M. A. Tohami

    “Habits are at first cobwebs, then cables.” – Spanish Proverb

    The earlier you break the bad habit the better.

  • http://www.findyourpeak.com Sean Mathena

    Great article! I have always used the 30 day method. I focus on doing something for 30 days without fail. I usually try to do what ever it is first thing in the morning and without fail for 30 days. This is not always as easy as you might think, but once I have done it for 30 days it usually sticks.

    As far as breaking a bad habit, I try to have a reminder. Maybe wearing one of those rubber bracelets, or something else that will remind me when I see it not to perform the bad habit. In your example, you might put a bright ribbon on the recliner that you will see when throwing your clothes on it.

    Hope this helps!

  • http://www.asparkstarts.com Frank

    @ Farouk

    Thanks.

    @ M.A.

    Thank you for the quote. It is rings true for my very own situation. I wish I would have had this quote before I started forging steel “cables”

    @Sean,

    Thanks for the kind words. I have never used the 30 day method but based on how you described your experience it sounds like it is a strong methond for creating change. As far as the ribbon idea, I have tried it with much success before I never thought of applying it to this issue though. I will give it a shot.

  • http://www.thereflectiveself.wordpress.com Dandy

    Hi Frank, great post. Habits are indeed hard to break. My bad habit is eating when I’m not hungry. I try to remind myself I’m stronger than my habit. I also chew alot of gum :)

  • http://www.SteveScottSite.com Steve@Lifestyle Design

    Frank,

    Breaking habits is not an easy thing to do, but it can be important to really grow and effect true change in your life.

    As you pointed out, few of us are superhuman and alsmot everyone has accumulated bad habits overtime. The important thing is striving to overcome our bad habits and grow.

    Thanks for a great post. Have a wonderful day!

  • http://masteryourselfimprovement.com/?p=192 Shaf

    I find the easier to break a habit is to act like you don’t have it in the first place. I know it sounds crazy but it’s all about mind control. Picturing yourself as an achiever when you feel like a loser will get you to your success faster. Just be the person you want to be – habit free!

  • http://www.asparkstarts.com Frank

    The Vizier,

    Thank you so much for all of the additional information that you added into this post. I am excited to be able to read through all of it. The amount of detail that you put into you comment is encouraging so I am sure the rest will exceed my expectations.

  • http://www.asparkstarts.com Frank

    Hi Dandy,

    I am glad you enjoyed this post. I think we have a lot in common becasue I too am a big fan of eating. I eat when I’m hungry, when I’m not and even when someone else has food close to me. lol Luckily I still have a fast metabolism so I have yet to see the effects physically. :-) I wish you the best of luck on breaking that habit. I know you can do it. If I can clean out a chair, which is a big deal for me, then I know you can tackle your issue with no problem.

  • http://www.asparkstarts.com Frank

    Steve,

    I am learning the hard way that habits are not easy to break. This one to most people would seem simple but it has become a part of my everyday functioning. When I don’t throw my things in the chair it seems un-natural. Now of course I have others but they might have scared off some of the readers :-) but I hope I got a good point accross. Thank you so much for reading and commenting. I greatly appreciate it.

  • http://www.asparkstarts.com Frank

    Shaf,

    What is odd is that I recently was reading something about this technique on another blog that I failed to bookmark :-( . It requires an enormous amount of focus and self control. I lack both. I think I might have adult ADD. None the less it is still an effectice technique for someone with a strong mind. I am so glad that you shared it with us. Thank you for commenting.

  • http://www.cultivatingheroes.com Jarrod – Cultivating Heroes

    I’m currently playing around with my mind to stop me eating chocolate for a month.

    Something I do in addition to what you mentioned is associate pain to the old habit. So whenever I think chocolate I immediately think, fat, lazy, dying, tooth decay, ugly etc. etc. This gives me an initial negative reaction to the idea of eating it. Then I make my alternative behaviour really easy to access.

  • http://www.wysiwit.dk Wysiwit

    Funny, I just took up the theme of bad habits in a post recently (in Danish, sorry guys) – it is a topic that’s been on my mind a lot. I was smoking more and more, quit for a while, then fell back in. And somehow, the habit is even harder to break the second time around, because you already failed once.
    I have succeeded now, using all of the above techniques:
    - I focus on the good that I am achieving (getting healthier, not spending all that money etc)
    - I enjoy being rid of the bad habit every day (feeling better physically and mentally)
    - I have avoided slipping even once until now it isn’t hard to do any more
    - I saw myself as a non-smoker from day 1 (thanks to Allen Carr)
    - and the most important one for me: I made a contract with myself, a written one. And signed it with a small tattoo (that I’ve always wanted to get) on the back of my left hand. I see it every day, and it makes me smile because it reminds me of my achievement, of the bad habit I broke, and tells me that I can do anything I set my mind to.

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  • http://hustlersnotebook.com Jk Hustle

    Frank: Very nicely written article.

    One method I practice to break bad habits is to focus on the positive alternative instead of focusing on the negative – just as you pointed out above.

    When I lend my thoughts purely to the negative – it consumes me. I have focus on the positive and allow that to consume me.

    Great job my friend.

    Peace.

  • http://www.2achieveyourgoals.com Dia

    Hi Frank,

    Nice tips my friend. Recognizing that we have a bad habit that we want to overcome is huge, otherwise we won’t know that we have one. Focusing on the positive alternatives is necessary as well. Thanks for sharing my friend

  • Radon

    mega–met@hotmail.com

    You can contact with me, I try to give up my sleep habit is sleeping over 9 hours a day now a day I sleep only 6 hours a day.

    Do not hesitate to contact in any case for more information.

    I do not have a beneficiary purpose only share my knowledge and get some knowledge from you.

  • http://www.asparkstarts.com Frank

    @ Jarred- I love the idea with associating pain with the bad habit. That is one to add to the list. Giving up the good stuff for a month, huh. Good Luck!!!

    @Wysiwit- Thank you for all of the added insight that you added to this post. I really like the idea of a written contract. Having something written is actually a really effective persusion method. Making it public will solidify it. I am so glad that you shared your experience.

    @JK- I am glad you enjoyed it. I know from my own experience that focusing on the positive has the power to make a huge challenge seem small over time.

    @Dia-Recognizing a habit is an extremely humbling experience. I noticed I have some really bad habits. Thanks for commenting.

    Radon-Changing sleeping habits is really difficult. I would love to share knowledge and experiences. Thanks for your comment.

  • Mondolush

    Im the worst PROCRASTINATOR ever! I’m terrible. I suffer at work because of it. It costs me money. It makes me lie. And Im pretty desperate about it. Ive tried changing, but of course, I leave it for tomorrow…

  • Khairnargaurav

    Thanks for tips : i’ll quiet smoke and fill good …. thank you for sharing .