searching for purpose

How to Begin to Find Your Purpose

I believe everyone knows what they want to do in their life. This includes you! However, you may not be consciously aware of your purpose because of the little voice in your head: your “ego”. Your ego suppresses your ability to fulfill your purpose because it fuels feelings of self-doubt, self-limiting beliefs, and paralyzing fears that prevent you from taking action. Thus, deep down you know what you were born to do and this article will help you figure it out by bringing it to your awareness.

But before you dive head in, a few things:

TURN ON SOME MUSIC!

As a matter of fact, blast that ish up! And then start dancing. Get your endorphins flowing, get out of your head, and just feel your body! This will get your creative juices flowing. Do this for 1 minute.

ALWAYS WRITE DOWN THE FIRST THING THAT COMES TO MIND.

Don’t worry about the ego in the back of your mind that’s whispering reasons why it’s not going to work. It will say stuff like, “Well, you could never do that. Who do you think you are? That’s a great idea but how on earth will you make money? This exercise is stupid. You’ll never figure it out and you’ll stuck forever.” Sound familiar? We all have that voice in our head, but realize it’s a whole bunch of garbage and you don’t have to listen to it. Also, here’s a great technique to prevent the ego from dictating your thoughts (thanks to Josh Pais and his Committed Impulse training):

Focus on the present moment. When you start hearing the ego or you notice your mind starts straying, snap your attention back to the present by saying out loud, “I’m back” while paying attention to your breathing. Being present will empower you to not give your ego any power over how you feel or what you’re thinking. Just focus on the present moment and the task at hand.

NOW LET’S GET TO IT!

Get out a pen and paper.

Step 1: Answer these questions

  • When were you happiest? Think of a time, recently or even long ago when you were happiest. What were you doing? What was going on?
  • Who do you envy? Who are you secretly jealous of? Who do you admire? Write down as many names as you want. Then write down the qualities they possess that you are envious of.
  • What gets you excited? What do you love to do? What fuels your passion and zest for life? What gives you butterflies and makes your heart skip a beat?
    • It can be anything like: nature, art, love, music, poetry, working with your hands, dancing, singing, climbing a mountain, playing basketball, etc.
  • What are you naturally good at? What do people come to you for? What do people ask your advice on?
    • This can be stuff like: calming people down, communication, finding innovative solutions, brainstorming creative ideas, connecting with people, decorating, finding commonality with strangers, etc.
  • What could you do all day long and never get tired of (sleep doesn’t count!)?
  • How do you want to feel after a long day’s work doing what you love?

Step 2: Analyze it

  • Look back at your answers. What ideas came up for you as you were answering these questions? Is there something you’d love to do and think you could earn money doing it? Is there anyone else currently doing what you want? Try learning more about what they do and how they got there!
  • What’s the common theme? Can you craft a sentence based on your answers? For example: “My purpose is to bring happiness to others through expressing my creativity.” Take a shot at it! It doesn’t have to be perfect and it will evolve over time.
  • Take note of your answers to the last question: “How do you want to feel after a long day’s work doing what you love?” Let these feelings guide your decisions towards finding and fulfilling your purpose. As long as you are eliciting these feelings and trying to bring more of them into your life, you will be happy. Ultimately, your purpose in life IS to be happy, to become your best self. Whatever career allows you to bring out these feelings of happiness and fulfillment, that’s exactly what you need to be striving for! Take it one step further and write down these core feeling (narrow them down to 3-5), and hang them up somewhere as a daily reminder. These feelings should guide your decision-making so you are always moving closer to living the life you want.
  • Take note of your answers to: “Who do you envy?” Look at the list of qualities you admire in that person. Guess what? All the qualities you wrote down are qualities that you already possess within yourself, at this very moment! I know it sounds radical but you already have these qualities inherently, they are just suppressed! Perhaps you’re afraid of how others will judge you. Perhaps you were ridiculed in the past and now you feel like you have to conform to the “norm” in order to fit in. Well guess what, just be yourself! I give you permission to. Be the unique, crazy, quirky, eccentric, or goofy person inside, because the world needs the authentic you! As you embrace your own uniqueness, your path towards embracing your purpose will also become more clear!

Step 3: Now what?

Here comes the real work. To move forward with embracing and fulfilling your purpose, you need to be brave and really grow those ovaries (or cojones)! It involves being fiercely committed to changing your thoughts, beliefs, and actions and doing the tough work it takes to create the life you want. You’ve got to believe in yourself 200% and truly feel like you are worth having the life you’ve always dreamed of. If you have a general sense of your purpose or calling but have no idea how to get there, then explore my Be Your Own Heroine Coaching Program. It was designed to provide motivation, accountability, and a kick in the butt so you can become who you were born to be. Find out more here and how you can schedule a FREE intro session with me!

This week’s challenge: How will you commit to finding your purpose and fulfilling it? Share with me your first action item below!

Chinh Pham is fear conqueror, life coach, Hot Hula Fitness instructor, wellness guru, and lover of life! She helps women in their 20′s and 30′s find their purpose, embrace what they’re passionate about, and find the courage to create the life of their dreams! Her vision includes helping each and every woman on this planet look and feel beautiful, inspired, and empowered enough to create a kick-ass life for herself!

To learn more about Chinh, check out her virtual home, Facebook, and sign up for FREE updates here!

 

  • Sundeep Landiso

    good one…….gr8 thought.

    • http://www.facebook.com/coachchinh Chinh Pham

      Thank you Sundeep! Glad you found it helpful :-)

  • http://simplybeingalive.blogspot.com/ Dan_ZenPresence

    Very nice.  How many will actually use this?
     
    I know when I was happiest and know my path, just got off track for a short while.
     
    Dan @ ZenPresence

    • http://www.facebook.com/coachchinh Chinh Pham

      I hope many use it! It’s okay if you get off track as long as you know in your soul what truly makes you happy and you get back on that journey! Thanks for sharing Dan.

  • Valerie Mardon

    Brilliant!  I found the article to be excellent and really helpful!

    • http://www.facebook.com/coachchinh Chinh Pham

      Thank you Valerie! Glad you found it beneficial! Hugs, Chinh

  • http://www.mazzastick.com/ Justin

    So true Chinh. Our purpose really is all about what brings us the most joy and excitement in life. We just need to open to that and allow the experience to happen.

    On the flip side, many are in a place that is not in alignment with their purpose. 

    • http://www.facebook.com/coachchinh Chinh Pham

      Yay! So true Justin, thanks  so much. And yes, many are not doing things in alignment with their purpose so that’s why I wrote the article hoping to make at least a small change. :-) Take care! Chinh

  • ziggy

    im a male in my 20′s and this has turned me around over the last while i have been fighting with depression and an inability to socialize form today onwards im going to push myself to get what i want in life starting with my mental state, positivity and nothing else, starting tomorrow im going running and get my fitness back!!

    • http://www.facebook.com/coachchinh Chinh Pham

      Yay! Thanks so much for sharing Ziggy. Ah I’m so happy to hear you’ve decided to be positive and keep on trekking! Running is an awesome way to feel good not just physically but emotionally/mentally as well. Good luck and let me know how it goes. :-)

  • Jeff the Jiraffe

    Totally just got home and read this and danced the crap out of my apartment! Then I busted out your awesome questions with creative and positive force! I feel amazing now! Your words truly have power :D

    Thanks Chinh

    The best,

    ~Jeff

    • http://www.facebook.com/coachchinh Chinh Pham

      You are so awesome Jeff! Totally made me smile. So glad it helped you! Keep on bustin’ those moves! :-)

  • http://rpsmiles.com/category/latest-news Del Mar Dentist

    This is me right about now, on the precipice of pulling my head over what can work and what doesn’t. What can you do, if you do know what you want, but the thing that stops you is the next step of turning it into reality?

    • http://www.facebook.com/coachchinh Chinh Pham

      Hi! Good question. If you are feeling stuck even though you know your purpose, I would definitely recommend visualizing every single day. Usually when I know what I need to do but lack inspiration (usually because I am unsure of the next move), I just meditate then visualize how I want to “feel” about the outcome of the project/goal/life change, etc. Check out the article I wrote on this topic here: http://coachchinh.com/empowering-activity-the-secret-to-the-law-of-attraction/ and I hope it helps!! Good luck and let me know how it goes.

  • http://qplex.tumblr.com Ashutosh Dave

    This is the most awesome method of finding one’s purpose!! I <3 it!!

    • http://www.facebook.com/coachchinh Chinh Pham

      Thank you so much! I’m glad it helped you. :-) Keep on rockin’!

  • http://www.financialbailoutnews.com/ Jcrosskey@FinancialBailoutNews

    This is an excellent article. I think the most important part of this is getting out of your own head. Unfortunately, that’s what keeps so many of us away from our purpose. We tell ourselves that we have to do certain things to make money and that our dreams (unless they involve a direct money making venture) are something that should be pursued when it’s safe. But it’s actually not safe to put your purpose on whole because the clock is ticking and we have so much to offer. 

    • http://www.facebook.com/coachchinh Chinh Pham

      Thank you! Yes, getting out of our own heads and our own ways is crucial to following our purpose. That’s where the real work is! That’s why it’s awesome to surround yourself with people who are out there following their dreams because they will help you see what’s possible. And of course having a life coach is helpful as well! Thanks so much for your input! :-)

  • http://goalsetting-workshop.com/blog/ Jorge Blanco

    Wonderful post, Chinh. I find that the question on envy is probably the hardest one to answer. Mainly because people do not want to admit that they are envious of anyone. Hence, the follow up on “who do you admire” is an excellent way to make that easier to answer. Admiration is positive and is easier to come to terms with than envy and jealousy. Also, perhaps the question, “Who do you want to be like?”, can be another version for “Who do you admire?”.

    • http://www.facebook.com/coachchinh Chinh Pham

      Thanks Jorge! Great input and yes, I struggled with the word “envy” as well because I tend to idolize or worship people who are doing incredible things, even though THAT in of itself could be a problem too (because then I see them as “better” than me). Anyway, it’s just something to think about. Thanks again for your thoughtful feedback!

  • Filip Andrei Brindas

    Very good article. Finding your purpose is vital for being happy in life. If you want to find out more about personal development, check out my blog. I have new stuff coming out every day. http://www.developingmyself.blogspot.com

    • http://www.facebook.com/coachchinh Chinh Pham

      Thanks Filip! I will swing by your blog and check it out! Keep on rockin’!

  • http://twitter.com/Mark_Bowness Mark Bowness

    Great post Chinh. I think it is also worth adding that there are many people in a situation where they feel overwhelmed, that life and life situations are too tough. As a result over this over whelming emotion I work with a number of people who feel that their purpose is so far away, is so ‘out there’, as a direct result of their struggles. I find myself continuously telling people that we are given a place to break down and that brokenness is the beginning of the revelation of the purpose. 

    It is all too easy to think that we need to have the perfect relationship, job, career, be an entrepreneur or have a whole list of other ‘is-n’t-my-life-great-characteristics’ before we are worthy enough to have a purpose. This is rubbish. It is people who move from brokenness right through to purpose that have greater depth and wisdom and as a result are prone to do pretty powerful things! In fact I have just finished writing a post on this very subject today entitled, ‘Forgive us for what we have done: A cry from a generation’ – http://markbowness.com/forgive-us-for-what-we-have-done/

    • http://www.facebook.com/coachchinh Chinh Pham

      Hey Mark! Thanks so much for your input. You make an awesome point and I think our biggest realizations and breakthroughs come from pain. That’s what happened to me when I found my calling! I will check out your article, thanks again for the insightful comment. Cheers, Chinh

  • Dennis

    Hey Chinh,

    Great post but what happends when the things you enjoy doing are non productive ie playing video games. What happends when you have a degree in engineering and realize its not as enjoyable as you thought it might be. Ugh

    • http://www.facebook.com/coachchinh Chinh Pham

      Hi Dennis! Great question. Video games are fun and enjoyable and you CAN make money working in that industry for sure. What other things do you enjoy? Maybe you have a hobby where you can create something to sell, or teach people how to do something. There are always different ways to make money doing what you love, it just takes some brainstorming and trusting your intuition. Let me know how it goes!

  • http://kickstartyourchange.com/ Kickstart Your Change

    Great exercises and questions. The only thing I might consider adding is some ways to frame the discovery process in terms of being of service, and making an impact in the world. Complement the perspective of “what gets me excited, what do I love?” with “what does the world need from me, what problems need to be solved that I can contribute to solving?”

    • http://www.facebook.com/coachchinh Chinh Pham

      Thanks for your input! Definitely important to include questions about what the world needs from us.

  • Sravanthi

    Gr8 work…using  jealousy to find out the deeper feelings is really good!

    • http://www.facebook.com/coachchinh Chinh Pham

      Thank you Sravanthi, glad you found it helpful! :-)

  • Elli

    This is very helpful and motivating. :) I know what I want to do and what I want to do but I really lost focus. This helped me get back on my path again! :D 

    Now you’ll excuse me, I am going to go dance again! I forgot how fun that is!

    • http://www.facebook.com/coachchinh Chinh Pham

      Love it Elli! Shake that tush! <3

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1069961215 Magali Gonçalves

    Thank you so much, how many of us are stuck without truly knowing what are we doing here???
    Now is the perfect timing for me… I wrote down all my answers and got my purpose. My first action will be making a map of what I want to do and investigate in order to make a plan. I will print all giant size and put somewhere that doesn’t allow me to forget!
    Again… thank you! All this time… I was clueless!

    • http://www.coachchinh.com/ Chinh Pham

      WOW! Thank you so much for sharing with me your experience Magali! Ah I love that you are so committed to fulfilling your purpose now that you found it. I wish you all the best. Let me know if you ever need any extra support. You go girl!!! Hugs, Chinh

  • Pingback: How to Begin to Find Your Purpose | 菅原明子公式ブログ 英語版