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Get Over Your Life – It Doesn’t Have to Be Miserable

Is life slapping you in the face every time you turn around? Don’t stand there and turn the other cheek.

You don’t have to be miserable forever. You can change your life and have an awesome one.

You can have a life in which you smile every morning and feel excitement to start the new day. You can have happiness and fun. No longer fearing what aggravation will wait for you.

Instead of flying off the handle every time something bad happens, you could take it all in stride. Imagine – sighing, picking up the pieces, putting things back in order and move on as if nothing happened. How good does that sound?

If you’re sick of living life as a human punching bag, make some positive changes that will last a lifetime. You could finally be one of those people you hate to be around, the ones that seem to be happy all the time.

How is that they are always like that, anyway? You’re about to find out a few of their secrets.

Attack, Squash and Move On

Bad things happen to everyone. No one is immune to that. The differences between people who are happy and miserable people are that happy ones know what to do when something bad happens.

They attack it, like a vulture on prey. As soon as something look like it’s about to go awry they are on top of it to squash it.

If they aren’t able to stop the crisis from happening, they do everything in their power to control every part of it until it’s resolved.  They take it over and do whatever they have to do to resolve it. Once it’s resolved, they take a deep breath, relax and move on with a smile.

So what does it feel like after an accomplishment like that? Image yourself conquering a crisis with control and strength. Now you know can take on anything life wants to throw your way. You are ready.

Remove the Problem Source

Does life keep slapping you in the face from the same direction? In other words, is there someone or something that’s causing you problems?

Find the origin of your problems to either fix it or eliminate it. If it’s a relationship, you might have to talk to the person about her behavior or make changes to your environment.

The point of this life change is to identify the source of why you are miserable and make a change instead of just living with it. Remember, don’t subject yourself to living like this – make a change.

Change Yourself When You Can’t Change Others

So you can’t always change other people or the world around you, so in this case, you’ll have to change the way you react. The good news is that many times, people will change the way they act when you change the way you react.

Follow these steps to change your reaction to your world:

  1. When someone makes you upset, express that the topic of conversation upsets you, offer to change the topic, and if that doesn’t work, end the conversation.
  2. Guests with boundary issues should be confronted with an expression of your needs such as, “I need time to get ready for your arrival.” with a follow up request such as, “Will you please call me a day or two ahead of time next time?”
  3. Do not feed people who insult you with comebacks or satisfy them with your discontent. Instead, smile and express your self-approval and love by saying nothing or saying, “I am sorry but I disagree with your opinion.”
  4. Stop pleasing others and start pleasing yourself. You can’t make everyone happy all of the time. So stop trying because all you’ll do is disappoint yourself in the end. You don’t need that. As long as you make yourself proud, you’ll always be happy.
  5. When you feel unhappy with something in your life, make a change to ease that unhappiness. If you feel guilty about something, do what you feel guilty about so you don’t feel guilty anymore. As long as you learn to listen to your inner self, you’ll be giving yourself what you need and making yourself happy.

Your Life Needs a Leader

The reason why it seems as though your life is so out of control is that it doesn’t have a leader. Lead your life starting now.

You’ll start to see how much better it feels to be in control of what happens every day. How much more you can get done. How good it feels not to feel like the world is fighting against you.

It’s time to step out of misery and into happiness. You deserve this after everything you’ve been through.

Marcelina Hardy, MSEd is the founder of Achieve Brilliance Life Coaching, empowering professional women to achieve success in business and life. Learn more about how life coaching services can help you succeed on the Achieve Brilliance website.

 

Photo credit: I Shoot Things

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  • http://thebooksthatchangedmylife.com Marc Van Der Linden

    great tips!

    ‘Change yourself when you can not change others’. It is so important. In other words: ’Be the change you want to see in the world’ . 

    For me, this process occurs in 2 phases:

    In the first phase we need to protect ourselves against negativity of others.

    If we feel free of this negativity, we can go to the second phase: express ourselves in a creative way and become the leader of our own life.

    Thanks for sharing!

  • http://twitter.com/daniel_wong_ Daniel Wong

    Thanks for the motivational tips, Marcelina.

    I agree that building an amazing life starts with taking full responsibility for your life.
    No blaming your parents, friends, teachers and bosses for the way you’re feeling and the failures you’re experiencing.

    When I was a student, I remember blaming my teachers whenever I felt bored in class. To me, they weren’t explaining the concepts clearly, and they weren’t engaging the students with creative teaching techniques.

    It was their fault that I was bored in school!

    Thinking back on things, that was just me not taking full responsibility for my own learning. There’s always something you can do: read the textbook, talk to your teacher about what he or she can do better, etc. There’s always some measure of control you can exert.

    When you start thinking “There must be a better way– and I’m going to find it,” you’re on your way to leading a life of fulfillment and happiness.

  • http://www.TransformationalMotivation.com M. A. Tohami

    Thanks Marcelina for this inspiring post.

    The transformation process starts by discovering your passion and purpose in life. Then you nurture your passion daily, until it grows and takes on a life of its own.

    Only then, you’ll be ready to pursue you passion FULL-TIME. This will be the moment of total freedom, when you CAN really live your life on your own terms.

  • http://www.colon-liver-cleanse.com/ Sean

    “Instead of flying off the handle every time something bad happens, you could take it all in stride. Imagine – sighing, picking up the pieces, putting things back in order and move on as if nothing happened. ”

    Thanks, I really needed to read that :)

  • http://www.awesomelifecoach.com Kian | Awesome Life Coach

    A lot of the ideas here are golden and it took me many years to discover some of them myself.  One of the big points for me was realising that you can’t change the people around you, you can only change yourself. I love that one. If only I had read a post like this a few years ago!

  • http://Mazzastick.com Justin

    Hi Marcelina. I have had the experience of life slapping me in the face and it is by no way a fun experience. I believe that is the main reason that I got interested in Personal Development. Since we can’t really change other people’s behavior all of the time I thought I better learn how to change myself.

  • Ronaldcholmes24

    Stop regreting what happen to you in your pass and forgive your offender so you can move on with you life.pray God Blessing upon them that spitefully take advantage of you and mistreat you.Enjoy Life you only live once.Jesus Christ is the answer for whatever is ailing you.you plus God is a majority with Him on your side you can face any challenge that Life throws at you. 

  • Anonymous

    Interesting post, but I am afraid that I disagree with your opinion.  These are essentially attitudinal changes but not systemic changes to one’s life. I do not think to simply change your attitude when something bad happens is enough. I think it is important to add that the only way to change your attitude is to go through a more fundamental change. 

    I think a good way to do this is to realize the difference between the significant and the insignificant.  Most of the things you deal with in the day will be insignificant to your life, and definitely insignificant in every one else’s.  Thus, one need’s to filter out the insignificant and focus on the significant.  Ask your self: Will my day tomorrow be different because of this action?  Will my day in two days, three days, etc be different?  Thus we have prioritized.  Give the most attention to the things on the top of your list ie, those with the longest effect.  Then, once you have realized that either the situations you deal with are insignificant (and can be dealt with in stride) or are significant (which need to be carefully handled), you will have a change in attitude.  Before one can change an attitude, one must change his philosophy of life.

    In Pursuit of Truth
    http://www.todaysration.com/

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  • http://about-the-secret.com JonKinsey

    So true, we choose to be happy or not.  i would rather be happy.

  • http://www.OurWishRadio.com Raymond Cubeta

    Hey Marcelina, that’s really cool. I appreciate you sharing this with us.

  • Guest

    Amazing points ….
    Priceless analysis.
    Superb.
    Thank you .

  • InYourFace

    First off, Vultures are carrion birds and rarely (if ever) “attack” anything. Secondly this only serves to emphasis your frankly ignorant and childlike view on the sources of peoples miserly and how to deal with these things. You have obviously never had anything TRULY bad ever happen to you because only someone who has not been emotionaly scarred for life could spout this foolishness. It sickens me to think of how many people you have probably met, spoken with and then unfairly judged as “quitters” because they are miserable and in your magical idealistic world, that is somehow their fault because they don’t “deal with it” the right way. I sincerely hope you get cancer so that you will actually have a real problem to deal withfor once instead of telling the rest of us to just “get over it”

    • Mike Garnder

      hi.

  • Mike Garnder

    My brother always bosses me around and if you see this, please reply.  I need some good advice.  Thank you!

  • A BABE NAMED TRUTH

    HELLO! I JUST WANTED TO SAY THAT I THINK THAT IF IT WERE UP TO ME THAT I WOULD TOTALLY BUY THE KITCHEN FULLAY BY THE WAY I KEEP MIXING CHICKEN WITH KITCHEN HAPPENED TWICE ALREADY MY KNEE CAP IN OTHER NEWS ON LEFT FEELS BUZZY AND FUZZY WTF IS GOIN ON DERE AM I RIGHT? GO FUCK YOURSELF CLEVELAND

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  • nobody

    very good!!!
    I’ve been searching about a miserable life and how to get rid of it
    while seeing this post. Nice…specially where has been said :

    ” Change Yourself When You Can’t Change Others ”
    i think this item is not influentially correct and someone may consider it
    as an preliminaire attitude. we ans others chenge in a mutual relative way…

    Be happy everyTime ..