Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement

How A Change of Attitude Can Change An Entire Life

Hengameh Fazeli — Fri, 28 Feb 2014 07:32:12 +0000

"Your greatest limitation comes from within, not from without!" Master Choa Kok Sui There are tons and tons of quotes, proverbs and advices that are constantly trying to tell us that by thinking positive, we can attract lots of positivity, happiness and success. In fact there are a great number of people who have been extremely successful and achieved amazing heights by keeping a positive and optimistic attitude in life; and of course by putting time and effort towards their goals. Many did not start with a prosperous life, many did not have any contacts or support, and many started with literally nothing and yet achieved a lot. Jim Carrey, Oprah Winfrey and Jay Z are just few examples of such... What makes these people different from the rest is basically how they look at life and at themselves. They somehow seem to know how the universe works; either by reading, practicing or just simply by following their instinct. They have the ability to tap into the fabric of life and attract what they have been dreaming of. What many of these people are aware of is that the universe is in fact governed by some laws and cycles. There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity; sometimes we are up, and sometimes down! Things never stand still. If we know how these laws work, we can change our future. One of the most important laws is that we attract what we send out and we receive, what we give. What these great people did was to send out a positive impulse and a strong thought, even in the midst of a very difficult situation, and get what they wanted in return; because this is exactly how the universe works! It follows what you think of! The thoughts are actually the seeds! So in order to create a change in the physical world, we need to start changing the inner world. The inner world is basically the world of thoughts. When we think of something or dream of achieving a goal, we are creating a thought form or a thought entity. It is called a thought entity, because it is alive and can affect the outside world to a certain degree. With most people the thought form created is very weak and indefinite, as they are not yet 100% sure whether they can achieve it or not. Sometimes people even don't know exactly what they want! This is when BELIEVE comes into play. We must know exactly what we want in life and we must believe that we can achieve it. “Whether you think you can, or you think you can't--you're right.” Henry Ford In order to make powerful thought forms that can lead us to the goal, we must be determined, confident and precise with what we want to achieve. Only then the thought form becomes a powerful being that will help us get there! Writing down the goals, active visualization and looking at photos related to the goal are some of the techniques that have been discussed by many people already in relation to creating powerful thought forms. Doing Kriyashakti is also another way of materialization, which was practiced by many yogis and spiritual aspirants from ancient days. But sending out a positive impulse and a strong thought form is not enough, we also need to exert WILL. This will make sure we continue to stay focused and determined and we continue to energize our created thought form. Creation is basically done by the use of WILL. "Things happen because you Will them to happen. Creation is done by the Will, by influencing the Inner World." Master Choa Kok Sui So if you have the will, you will find a way! Will is the driving force that usually comes from a strong desire; desire to change, to achieve or to excel. Will, basically means to stay determined and focused even when your body is tired. Some people call it perseverance! Some of the successful businessmen were rejected over and over again, some of them were even humiliated for their vision, yet they had the WILL to continue and to finally excel. Besides a strong will and commitment, attitude also matter. Another common characteristic of successful people is their optimism. Optimism not only puts us in a positive state to create powerful thought forms, but also affects our energy level and helps us attract good luck. “A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.” Winston Churchill How is that so?! As stated earlier, the universal law says, what you send out, will come back to you. Based on the principle of oneness, what we do to others we are basically doing to ourselves. Lets say, a grumpy person always nags. Therefore the energy and atmosphere created by him is pessimist and negative. What comes back in return is therefore negativity in the form of pessimist people, unfavorable events and unexpected accidents or in other words bad luck. While an optimist, thinks positive, which attracts more of the same kind: positivity, which manifests as good luck. Furthermore, optimism puts us in a positive emotional state that increases our energy level and stamina that can help us achieve greater heights. In order to make a change in our life, we need energy. Energy makes things work! That is why people with better attitudes are most of the times more successful. “Man often becomes what he believes himself to be. If I keep on saying to myself that I cannot do a certain thing, it is possible that I may end by really becoming incapable of doing it. On the contrary, if I have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it even if I may not have it at the beginning.” Mahatma Gandhi So whether we have a good life or not simply depends on us! It all starts within and we are in fact the architects of our own life!!! Always remember “you'll never find a rainbow if you're looking down.” Charles Chaplin Being an architect by profession who loves spirituality and alternative therapy, Hengameh Fazeli joined Pranic Healing and Arhatic Yoga school, developed by Master Choa Kok Sui, in 2007 and later became a Pranic Healing instructor in 2009. Since then she is experiencing tremendous improvement in all aspects of life including health, career and personal life. Currently she is the author of PranaWorld.net and and she conducts regular healing sessions and Pranic Healing workshops.

The post How A Change of Attitude Can Change An Entire Life appeared first on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.

20 Bad Things We Do In Private

Barrie Davenport — Thu, 27 Feb 2014 06:53:11 +0000

Have you ever noticed when you put the key in your front door, walk inside, and settle in for some time alone or with your family, you become a slightly altered version of yourself? You aren't quite the same person you are at work, in social settings, or simply running up to the grocery store. There's something about stepping into the privacy of our own homes that allows us to slip out of our public personas and relax into our unfiltered and true selves. Of course there are many positives about dropping any pretenses, feeling completely comfortable and uninhibited. Our homes are a safe haven where we should be relaxed, accepted, and authentic. We all need to enjoy privacy with ourselves and our families to re-energize, express ourselves openly, and simply unwind without judgement or interruption from the outside world. But privacy, alone or with our families, also gives us space and opportunity to become lesser than our best selves, to say, think and do things that aren't in our ultimate greatest good. I'm not talking about illegal, immoral, or twisted kinds of private behaviors. I talking about the ways we subtly or sometimes overtly chip away at our confidence, our health, our integrity, and our relationships. When we are in the privacy of our homes, it's easy to slip into these actions and thoughts because there's no one there to remind us, filter us, or judge us -- except our families whom we often take for granted. We expect them to love us in spite of our bad behaviors. Perhaps our times in the privacy of our homes can be the training ground for evolving into the best version of ourselves. Rather than waiting for the public eye to force us to rise to the level of social expectations, why not examine who you are when all of the barriers are stripped away to see if you really like the private version of yourself. If not, you can begin to practice upgrading your self expectations in private so they feel natural in any setting. Here are 20 bad things we do in private. See if you recognize yourself in any of these and think about how you can begin turning them around. 1. We make excuses or lie to ourselves. When we're alone it's easy to skip exercise by telling ourselves we're too tired or we don't need it. It's easy to put our heads in the sand about obligations or promises when no one else is looking. How do you make excuses or tell yourself lies when alone? 2. We quit too soon. Without accountability or deadlines, it's tempting to give up on a project or task before you are done. What does it matter? Who's watching? But if we develop a habit of procrastination or lack of follow through at home, it can become a habit in all parts of our lives. 3. We analyze and obsess about appearance. When you're alone getting dressed or looking in the mirror, how often to you pick yourself apart, staring at your flaws and feeling bad about your appearance? If there's something you can do to improve your appearance, take action and do it. But obsessing about it and feeling bad only hurts your self-esteem. 4. We eat or drink to much or too poorly. When we're alone, we tend to snack, overeat, make poor food choices, or drink too much. When no one's watching and we aren't standing on the scale, what's one more bag of chips or a few extra cookies? Decide how you want to treat your body and become your own best advocate for healthy nutrition. 5. We watch to much TV. Watching TV isn't all bad. It's a great way to relax. But when it becomes our fallback activity every time we're tired or bored, we don't stretch ourselves to pursue more creative or interesting activities. And watching a lot of TV means we are sitting or reclining too much which doesn't support a healthy, active lifestyle. 6. We indulge in negative thinking. When we're alone, it's easy to get lost in negative thoughts about ourselves, people at work, the driver who cut you off, etc. Negative thinking becomes a habit that fosters anxiety, agitation, and even depression. When you're alone, you must find a way to catch yourself in a negative thinking loop, interrupt it, and shift your thoughts or actions to something positive. 7. We speak hurtfully to our spouse, partner, or children It's so easy to let your stress, anger, or bad feelings impact your closest relationships when you're in the privacy of your home. We say thoughtless and hurtful things to the people we love the most because feel safe they won't leave us. But would you say these things to a business partner or a friend? Who do you want to be for your loved ones? 8. We work too many hours. If you work from home or bring your work home with you, do you ever find yourself working longer than you mean to or really should? Working from home has its advantages, but not if it creates an imbalance with family, friends, and other activities. 9. We avoid resolutions. When you're alone, it's far too easy to ignore problems or conflicts and distract ourselves with TV, surfing the net, or other mind-numbing activities. The longer we allow problems and conflicts to linger without addressing them, the more complicated and difficult they become. 10. We forget our manners. It's one thing to let it all hang out when we're completely alone. But with your family, don't forget that manners are one of the few things that separate us from wild beasts! 11. We isolate ourselves. If you have a stressful job or have had a difficult day or week, it's easy to withdraw into solitude and disconnect from the world. But too much isolation isn't healthy. It leads to loneliness and depressions. 12. We ruminate or worry too much. Time by ourselves gives us time to worry and ruminate about our problems or future events. When you notice this happening, distract yourself with something positive -- like time with family or friends, finishing up a project, or anything that occupies your mind. 13. We give in to jealously. Everywhere we look, we can find people who have something we want or can do something we wish we could do. It's so easy to come home and start thinking about these people. We get caught up in jealously and longing for more. But this thinking is unproductive and potentially harmful. 14. We spend too much. Now that we can do virtually all of our shopping online, it's really tempting to make purchases when you never see any money being exchanged. Boredom, loneliness, and envy can pull us to the computer to purchase things we really don't need. 15. We pry into other's business. Have you ever found yourself looking through your spouse's desk or reading your daughter's journal? Have you given unwanted or negative input to a family member simply because you could? Have you disrupted a family member's personal time? We need to respect one another's privacy and dignity, even when they are family and live with us. 16. We borrow without asking. Beyond prying into other's stuff, sometimes we just take their stuff. Maybe it's not outright stealing, but we borrow without the courtesy of asking. Our family members deserve this as much as anyone. 17. We create a mess. When we're alone, what difference does it make if we leave dishes piled in the sink or our clothes scattered about? How you keep your living space is reflective of how your inner world is operating. Keeping your home clean and clutter free gives you energy and makes you and your family feel lighter. 18. We look at too much unhealthy material on the computer. Whether it's the news, porn, mindless rants, or celebrity gossip, our computers can be a cesspool of negative energy and images. We all look at a little mindless or scandalous junk, but if it becomes a regular habit, it will harm your relationships and your self-respect. 19. We get defensive or reactive. When no one is looking, it takes the pressure off our emotional maturity valve. When we're alone with our spouses or children, it's so easy to allow child-like feelings to rise to the surface with defensive or reactive comments or behaviors. Or when we're completely alone, we might indulge in a pity party or angry outburst. 20. We don't affirm ourselves. We have such a great opportunity when we're alone to take the time to build ourselves up and become better people. Rather than indulging in negative thinking, angry words, or mind-numbing activities, think how you can use your private time to boost your confidence, become healthier, improve your relationships, or grow more self-aware. Your home is your safe haven and should be a place of peace and rejuvenation. Begin to embrace your time alone or with your family as sacred and valuable time to be your best self and to make choices for the growth and empowerment of yourself and your family. Barrie Davenport is a certified personal coach, author, and founder of the award-winning blog Live Bold and Bloom and creator of Simple Self-Confidence. Take her Free Self-Confidence Test here.

The post 20 Bad Things We Do In Private appeared first on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.

5 Facts About Reaching Goals That Make or Break Friends

tesslackey — Wed, 26 Feb 2014 06:59:09 +0000

I spent the last three years working towards a goal, but instead of moving forward I fell backwards. I forgot the most important aspect of goals: action. For three years, I only speculated the future while the present slipped by. I finally found the answer once I gave up; and the answer shocked me. My goal appeared closer then I originally thought, and I could have reached it if only I had followed these steps. Before giving up on a goal, commit to using these steps just once.

Envision Success

When you started envisioning your path to success you probably worked with less knowledge than what you know now. It may be time to redirect your path using your recent experiences. Knowledge comes in many forms.

A tip from a professional
Taking a class, reading an informative book, garnering info from social media or the web
Taking an internship, volunteer position, or job if your goal is career related
Growing older and acquiring more wisdom and experience

Whichever way knowledge comes to you, use it to better equip yourself for success.

Be Money Smart

Most goals require money or involve investing in your future (renting an office space or quitting your day job), but they don’t require buying the best dress on the rack for your book signing or new equipment when you have the option to borrow or become an apprentice. Save money in the beginning so you have it in the end when you need it most.

Supporters Welcome

Friends, family or a support group give the best encouragement when you need extra motivation to push on. Align yourself with supporters, and disentangle yourself from the rest: ball-n-chain boyfriends/girlfriends, Negative Nancy/Ned, and the like.

Action

Don’t be like me – only thinking or talking about your goal. Get out and do something; everyday should bring you closer to a goal. A wise manager once told me to write everyday because if I didn’t - someone else would.

Drop the Negativity

Are you a Negative Nancy/Ned when things go wrong? Extensively blaming yourself for your mistakes will only restrict success. It lowers your self-esteem and leads you nowhere. The same result occurs when surrounded by negative people. I don’t know how many times a past friend would essentially tell me I couldn’t achieve my dream. I thought, at first, hearing him tell me that would motivate me to victory: turns out, it didn’t. The only way to be pushed by those people is to push them out of your life, for good. Then, simply think of them later when you need the motivation to work harder. Keeping negativity around chains you and your actions to disastrous consequences. By changing your strategy or treating you goals like they mean more to you than the moon, you ensure success. Don’t let yourself stall out or run backwards when you should already have the goal at your fingertips. Success affects your self-esteem, your whole life and your friends or love life (for the better). Don’t wake up one day and realize you never made it anywhere. It’s a paralyzing feeling. Tess Lackey is the author of Run for Time, a blog covering Alzheimer's disease and fitness. She's an avid learner, enjoys travel and almost never follows the norm. While struggling for years to achieve her childhood dream, she found her other passion - writing. The struggle led her to analyze both herself and the problems associated with achieving goals; she hopes to help others realize and achieve their dreams. Follow her on Twitter, and tweet your tips for accomplishing goals.

The post 5 Facts About Reaching Goals That Make or Break Friends appeared first on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.

The Top 10 Ways Exercise Can Radically Improve Your Life

Sam Negrin — Tue, 25 Feb 2014 06:34:55 +0000

There’s so much more to exercise than weight loss, toned glutes and a strong punch (but hey, those are some major benefits!). It’s proven that exercise not only trains your body but also trains your brain; there are multiple studies that show how endurance actually boosts brainpower. Getting your daily dose of exercise doesn’t have to be a major time commitment – here are 5 ways you can become active, even around your house! These are the top 10 ways that exercise can improve your life beyond solely the physical:

1. Mind Body Connection

This connection is what all of the other benefits stem from. Do you feel a connection or awareness of your body when you’re sitting at your desk or driving in your car? Probably not, this is when we tend to be the most mindless. When you exercise you’re practicing vinyasa, which means placing your body in mindful and special ways. You can acknowledge what feels good and what doesn’t. Your mind and body are actually having a conversation rather than confrontation.

2. Discipline

We’ve all heard the three-word mantra from power trainers and athletes, FEEL THE BURN. Exercise gives you discipline. Discipline helps you work harder through pain, struggle, and all of the crazy mind-stuff that pops up during our days. End of day deadline on a huge project that can determine your promotion? We need to understand the healthy practice of discipline in order to [positively] power through the burn and see the light at the end of the tunnel.

3. Confidence

Harder, better, faster, stronger. There is no doubt that exercise boosts our self-confidence and makes us feel good. It gives us a sense of self-worth and achievement. You feel stronger and you are stronger. You feel sexy and you are sexy! This feeling of confidence is something that glows from miles away.

4. Memory

A study in Perceptual and Motor Skills shows that women performed 20 percent better on memory tests after running on a treadmill than they did before exercising. Research has even linked children’s brain development with a level of physical fitness (recess, anyone?). Additionally, there are specific exercises that can actually help you train your brain for better memory – dance, step, zumba – all of these classes require memorization of sequences, which will directly strengthen memory.

5. Creativity

We already know that exercise gets your brain moving – which in turn, lets your creative juices flow. I know that I personally come up with some of my most creative ideas while I’m out for a run or on my bicycle. You feel so empowered while you’re doing a really intense work out, it’s almost like, imagine the possibilities. Yes, cliché, but true!

6. Alleviates Anxiety

A study presented at the American College of Sports Medicine found that exercise actually improves your outlook on life. A group of 18- to 25-year-olds reported an immediate positive change in mood after riding a stationary bike for 20 minutes, which lasted up to 12 hours. There’s a reason yoga is associated with the word Zen and "runners high" is a thing, after all.

7. Improves Learning Ability

The hippocampus is an area in the brain closely associated to learning and memory. Research has discovered that the hippocampus is especially receptive to new neuron growth (neurogenesis) in response to endurance exercise. High-intensity workouts actually jump-start neurogenesis. Beginning in our late 20s, most of us will lose about 1 percent annually of the volume in the hippocampus. So, get up and move!

8. Increases Productivity

Exercising naturally makes you a more productive person. It’s not easy to find the time and dedication to really hit the gym 4 to 5 times per week. Most of us will either wake up earlier or go to sleep later, forcing us to organize our day in a more efficient way. It might even make an early riser out of you!

9. Independence

Are you the type of person who always needs a workout buddy to start moving? There’s nothing wrong with that, unless you seldom have a workout buddy and use it as a subconscious excuse. Working out with friends or trainers who push you harder is great, but there is something liberating about going out on your own and pushing yourself. Once you become comfortable with the idea of exercising, it’s a great time of the day for you to be completely independent and selfish. It almost becomes a sacred time of day.

10. Happiness

The nine points mentioned above coupled with a healthy physical body can increase your happiness and quality of life by 100%. Seriously. So, stop making excuses and start making positive lifestyle improvements that will radically change your life for good! Sam Negrin is an avid yogi (and RYT) in Los Angeles. She is also the Content Manager of LEAFtv – a fresh, easy to consume, how-to concept covering all things living, eating and fashion.

The post The Top 10 Ways Exercise Can Radically Improve Your Life appeared first on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.

15 Quotes to Help You Smash Negative Thinking!

Alden Tan — Mon, 24 Feb 2014 08:26:20 +0000

Negative thinking is definitely one of the biggest problems a lot of us suffer from. Ironically, the more you try to rationalize it, the more you tend to only think about it and in turn become more negative. It's a crazy, vicious cycle. That's why I think it's good to simply listen, absorb and be inspired by what the world can offer you. That's how you'd be blessed with different insights all together. Here are 15 quotes to help you smash negative thinking 1) “Some people grumble that roses have thorns; I am grateful that thorns have roses.” ― Alphonse Karr, A Tour Round My Garden Kind of like seeing the glass half-full. Focus on the positive. Focus on the beauty instead. There's simply no point focusing on the negative aspect of everything and feel down about it. There is beauty in a lot of things, even yourself. 2) “You can, you should, and if you’re brave enough to start, you will.” ― Stephen King, On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft Despite what's going on in your head, you're absolutely capable of doing anything. You can because you are. You should because life is short. Don't let a bunch of less-than-perfect thoughts hold you back. 3) "Stop letting people who do so little for you control so much of your mind, feelings and emotions" - Will Smith More often than not, negative thoughts come from your surroundings i.e. the people you're with. And unfortunately, we let the negative people get to us. Don't. These people don't matter. So why let them make you feel less than great? 4) “Always think extra hard before crossing over to a bad side, if you were weak enough to cross over, you may not be strong enough to cross back!” ― Victoria Addino I personally think that all of us are repressed on a certain level. We think of revenge, serving justice on our wrongdoers or just not wanting to care. But we hold back because we don't want to get in trouble. This is an ironic cycle as we keep asking, "What if?". Nah. We should stop thinking about this altogether and just try to be happy. As the quote states, we may be too weak to cross back, and that's how regret is made. 5) “If you are positive, you'll see opportunities instead of obstacles.” ― Widad Akrawi Everything has a piece of goodness in them, even if it's hard to see it. I say, just open your eyes and see it then. Life isn't perfect, so you might as well start reaping the goodness than keep complaining about it. 6) “If we are not currently experiencing the danger of war, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture, the pangs of starvation, we are ahead of some 500 million people in the world.” -Unknown Your life really isn't that bad. It could be worse. You're that lucky. So be grateful and start thanking life in your head. 7) “Whether you think you can or you think you can't either way you are right!” ― Henry Ford Why should you ever be wrong? It's your head. You own all the thoughts. You're right, correct and not wrong. So start believing in yourself. 8) "If you have good thoughts they'll shine on your face like sun beams and you will always look lovely." - Roald Dahl Because... why do you ever want to look ugly? 9) “Stay positive, all other choices are pointless punishments to your psyche.” ― Joe Peterson, Help Me Live... As I Die, Cancer vs. the Power of Love That's right. If it's not positive, it's entirely useless. In the grand scheme of things, it is nothing. It does not do you any good. It shouldn't even exist. 10) "Every once in a while you gotta stop worrying or thinking and just let go. Have some fun in your life. Trust me, it's worth it." - Unknown How often is it that we forget to actually have fun? Fun doesn't come from thinking. You just do it and feel it! Stop the thoughts. Be spontaneous. 11) "We don't appreciate negative vibes around here. Move along" - Unknown Just like how you look ugly when you're filled with negative thoughts, you also give off that vibe to others. Others can feel it. No excuses. So move on from it and be happy. Otherwise, others will ask you to move. 12) "Take a walk outside - it will serve you far more than pacing around in your mind." ― Rasheed Ogunlaru Yep. Stop what you're doing and get out of the house. This is an instant relief from negative thoughts. 13) "Start thinking positively. You will notice a difference. Instead of "I think I'm a loser," try "I definitely am a loser." Stop being wishy-washy about things! How much more of a loser can you be if you don't even know you are one? Either you are a loser or you are not. Which is it, stupid?" ― Ellen DeGeneres, The Funny Thing Is... A funny one. But so true. Notice how negative thinking just makes you go back and forth for no real reason whatsoever? Notice how useless it is? 14) “When you have experienced the depth of your inner self, the idea of enlightenment is no longer a goal to strive towards, but rather an attitude to maintain.” ― Gary Hopkins Do some deep reflection. Meditate. Start watching out for yourself and love yourself more than anything. Aim for positive thoughts for a positive life forever. Don't sweep things under the rug or mask the bad stuff for short-term gain. You owe it to yourself. 15) "You've your five senses to create and express yourself for a happy life. Why let mere thoughts alone overpower all of them?" - Alden Tan Plugging in my own quote shamelessly here haha. I used to be a very negative person. It hit me one day that we're so capable of doing anything we want with our own physical bodies. It doesn't make sense to let negative thoughts control us fully! Add to that, we also have our own unique talents and passion. We need to stop letting negativity deprive us of the good stuff. Just for Pick the Brain readers If you reach to the end of this article, that’s awesome! I just wanted to tell you about my new free book! 12 Things Happy People Don’t Give a F**k About! It’s a simple, free book that let’s you know what you need to let of in life to be super happy! This free book is only available through this link to Alden-Tan. Check it out! Bio: Alden Tan keeps it real at his blog and writes about motivation in unconventional ways. His two main passions are Bboying and writing. Check out his free report, 12 Things Happy People Don’t Give a F**k About!

The post 15 Quotes to Help You Smash Negative Thinking! appeared first on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.

6 Little Effective Secrets That Will Attract The Love Of Your Life

Yara Coelho — Fri, 21 Feb 2014 22:29:36 +0000

You've set up your goals for 2014 and finding true love is one of your priorities for this year. Do you find yourself day dreaming about that special person who will rock your world? Well, here are 6 little effective secrets that not only will help you finding love, but to keep in burning for years to come.

1 – QUIT DREAMING

Yes, quit dreaming, there is no way around that one. You won't find your soul mate, you better half, while you're just passively dreaming. Wake up and take action. Be the number one actor of your life and write your own story. Sometimes the love of our lives is right in front of our eyes.

2 – BE ATTENTIVE

Sometimes we think we have to go far to find love. Sometimes we think we should actively search for something. In reality, love can be found on our back yard and when we least expect it. I've traveled the world extensively, just to find my partner literally at my front door! Instead of finding a million strategies on how to meet more people, try to be more attentive to the people you meet. We're not on a race for numbers, but for quality, compatibility. Start doing the things you love most. Join that Yoga class you've always wanted to take, enroll in that theater group, the animal rescue volunteer association you love so much... join the gym. When you're doing the things you love the most, you'll automatically meet people with similar interests, which will probably share a lot of the same passions. When you stop looking and start living, love will come your way effortlessly.

3 – WRAP IT UP AND PACK IT WISELY

This is very important. I have a friend who is constantly involved with the weirdest type of men. When looking at it, I see a pattern, but she can't understand why she only attracts creeps. Well, it's very simple. It has everything to do with how she pack and wrap herself. Let me explain: The way you put yourself out there, will determine what type of people you'll attract. First impressions are very important and even the way you dress and the places you go to search for love can determine the type of person you'll end up with. My friend tries to get male attention by using super short, tight and too revealing clothes. She goes to bars and needs a few drinks to loosen up. The way she's wrapping and packaging herself, screams: “easy” and “desperate” with every single letter. She doesn't understand that being sexy and seductive, has nothing to do with being sleazy. When searching for love in a low class bar, she's limiting herself to these kind of people. Raise your standards. This takes us back to the previous point; do what you love doing the most. Follow your passions and surround yourself with like minded people. This way, you'll find someone who shares the same passions and dreams.

4 – LEARN TO SAY NO

Learn to say no. It's very important when you start dating. The beginning of every relationship is when habits and dynamics start to take shape. Always be yourself since day one and choose only what empowers and works out for you, not what serves the other person only. When you feel happy and empowered, you will automatically empower your better half and treat him/her with love and kindness. We tend to say yes to everything in the beginning of our relationships and that's why things seem to change radically when the fire of passion cools down. Instead of turning passion into real love, your feelings turn into irritation. Suddenly the wet towel on top of the bed, or the fact that he/she never takes out the trash goes from being ok to a big problem and a motive for constant fights. If something doesn't feel right, say it from the beginning. In reality, very little things change during the first few years of our relationships, only our perception and tolerance to things does.

5- GAME OVER!

Although most women's magazines try to make you believe you have to play games to win his heart, that is all fake. Don't start a relationship based in games and strategies. It's not fair and it's not honest. Be yourself and cultivate the habit of communicating. Make sure a no is no and a yes is yes. Be assertive and true to the other person.

6 - WHAT ARE YOU BRINGING TO THE GAME?

Why do you want to be in a relationship? Is it because you feel lonely? You feel bored? You're scared you'll never find the love of your dreams so you settle for less? So, what are you bringing to the game? A void and emptiness? Then you're starting with the wrong foot already. Romantic relationships are meant to make us grow and expand as human and spiritual beings. When your self confidence, self esteem are high and you feel it's time to share your happiness with someone else, then you're bringing the right type of energy to the relationship. You won't be attracting other needy people. Don't bond over each other's pain and emptiness as emptiness will only bring more emptiness and each one of you will constantly try to get the other one to fulfil the void. Bond over love and joy and you'll see how your relationship will last a lifetime. Yara Coelho is the author of the travel & personal development blog "Heart of a Vagabond" she's a solo female traveler, with a love for vegetarian food, natural medicines and ecology projects. She studied Psychology, just to find out the Freudian view of the world was too depressive, leading her on a Classical Chinese medicine and personal development journey. Follow her journey on Facebook

The post 6 Little Effective Secrets That Will Attract The Love Of Your Life appeared first on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.

Why Positive Thinking Sometimes Doesn’t Work (And How You Can Change That)

Lanre Solarin — Fri, 21 Feb 2014 09:24:42 +0000

It’s time we stopped deceiving ourselves with some of this positive thinking talk. There’s just a lot of rehashed advice that when applied, just doesn’t seem to work. I can’t count the number of times I thought just saying positive affirmations alone would turn my whole life around. After sometime, I almost resolved that affirmations don’t work; that they’re useless. And that probably they only work for some set of people. And I bet you’ve probably been there before... Your whole life, you’ve been plagued by the thought of “I can’t do it”, or “this good thing isn’t just meant for me”. There are just so many challenges in your life that you’re almost at the verge of saying, “I can’t take this anymore”. Then some guru comes up and tells you that all you need to do is say some positive affirmations to yourself and all will be well. Then you try it and what happens? You’re back to where you were, if not worse. The thing is that while positive thinking is like a magic pill that solves negativity, you can’t take it unless you know what you’re fighting. It’s the same thing that happens when a doctor prescribes drugs to you. He first needs to know what you’re suffering from before you even get any drugs. And for this single reason, positive thinking may not work in your life unless you...

1. Deal with the Foundation to Get Rid Of Negative Thoughts

Negative thoughts don’t operate on their own. They’re like secret agents with a command base from which they take directions from. What affirmations do is to deal with these secret agents. They probably shoot their heads off or just nuke them. But then what happens? The command base sends out more agents and you realize you’re fighting a war for your entire life. And this is the reason why staying positive takes a lot of effort when in the real sense, it’s supposed to be as easy as asking a girl out on a date (not that that’s easy either). But you get the gist, right? Negative thoughts only have one source- your beliefs. We adopt certain beliefs in our lives due to certain events or experiences we’ve had in the past, most especially our childhood. And these beliefs can get so ingrained into our subconscious that it’s almost impossible to change them. For example, a past boyfriend of yours’ dumps you and you automatically have the belief that, “All men are cheats and liars”. I’m neither disputing nor supporting this fact. But my point is that this belief then prevents you from really having any more quality intimate relationships in the future, even when the guy approaching you is sincere. Negative beliefs are the foundations of negative thoughts and one way to get rid of such is to either think rationally about them or have a positive experience that can change that belief. Take action: Stop focusing on your thoughts for a moment and look into some beliefs that have hindered you up till now. Then simply ask yourself some rational questions such as, “Why do I have this belief?” “Is it a false conclusion or assumption of a possible outcome?” By finding out the degree of invalidity of that belief, you’ll be able to know if it’s a fact or your mind is just playing tricks on you.

2. Develop Your Self Image to Open You Up To Positivity

Beliefs influence your Self image. For example, a kid who believes that Math is the hardest subject that ever existed would not see himself as someone who can pass the subject. And the result becomes consistent failure of the subject, until he changes his perspective of it and sees himself as someone who can excel in it. The same goes for a 90 year old lady who believes that automobiles are moving demons. Trust me, seeing herself drive such a demon is the last thing on her mind. I wonder how she’ll get around in this century. Your Self image is a mirror reflection of your beliefs. And in transforming your Self image, just changing your beliefs is not enough. You need to see yourself having a positive experience of that new positive belief; and afterwards, letting yourself know that you deserve that positive experience. It is at this point that you open yourself up to the possibility of actually having positive thoughts in your life about that particular situation. Take action: Once you realize that your beliefs were mere false conclusions about a particular event, change them to positive ones. Then let your Self image reflect those positive beliefs by believing that you deserve them. For example, if you’ve developed a positive belief that “you can be successful regardless of your poor background”, you then see yourself as someone who actually deserves that success.

3. Use Positive Thinking and Affirmations to Seal the Deal

An affirmation is not just a mere bunch of words put together to make you feel better. However this is the notion that most people have. It is actually a confession of what you already have on your inside. If you’re full of negativity on the inside and you start to say some affirmations, you’re only lying to yourself. But the moment you become all positive about your beliefs and self, your affirmations become confessions of certain truths. This is when they become potent and work fast in your life. I’ve discovered that in all three steps above, the hardest is changing our beliefs. Why? This is because beliefs come from experiences and it’s often hard to “forget an experience”. So, the best way is to actually have an experience of positivity that portrays that belief in a positive light; a positive experience that would be hard to forget. It’ll become so ingrained in your mind that the negative belief you previously had about that situation would be gone for good. Positive thinking does work and it works wonders too. But if the foundation of negativity isn’t dealt with through rationalization and experience, many things could go wrong. But that wouldn’t happen to you, I’m so sure of that :). Lanre Solarin was once extremely negative about life until he encountered positive experiences that changed everything. You can grab a free copy of his report- Simple Steps to Positive Thinking: How to Experience Positivity in the Simplest Way Possible and discover how to guarantee success in your life.

The post Why Positive Thinking Sometimes Doesn’t Work (And How You Can Change That) appeared first on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.

How To Believe In Yourself When Everything Is Against You

Onder Hassan — Thu, 20 Feb 2014 05:16:01 +0000

When I look back at all the things i've ever achieved in my life. I've realised that while the process towards getting there was straight forward, what was most evident was the fact that there were also emotional and external implications that were always there that made it difficult for me to succeed. It was a constant battle not only with myself, but also a battle with the people around me and my external conditions that I had to deal with at the time. All the self-doubt, the motivation issues of taking action and the ups and downs having experienced failure towards becoming successful. Further fuel to the fire was added when people around me would doubt in my ability to do it, not because they didn't want to see me change but because they felt uncomfortable with the prospect of seeing me change. Your closest friends and family will not want to see you change because they are with you on the premise of who you are at the present moment. Your journey towards success will never be easy because of it, which many people opt out of having seen at first hand how its like. And the ones that stick with it, often find it difficult to maintain the connections they currently have. At that point, you're then left with a choice, which is very difficult to make and have to weigh up whether what you want is worth more than the lifestyle you currently have. Most of the time, this is an easy decision to make since most people decide to change due to not being satisfied with their current lives. However, there are other times where you might love the friends and family you have and would love to take them with you towards your goals, but may need to cut them out of your life due to not liking the direction you're going. No matter how positive it may seem. What then? What I realised is that there is no easy solution and will have to be prepared for the inevitable decisions, which you'll have to make. It will also set you up for getting over the negative feedback you're receiving from your environment and realign you towards you goals. Here are 2 questions I always ask myself that has always helped me succeed:

1) Is my life having achieved my goals going to be more valuable in the long term than what's currently provided for me right now by my friends and family?

If your friends and family are keeping you from making your dreams and visions come true and stopping you from finding happiness in your life. Don't feel guilty of cutting them out of your life or even limiting contact with them. Everyone has a different path to follow that is unique to them, which generally doesn't involve anyone else's happiness and satisfaction besides your own. It's a sad and often difficult thing to accept but the sooner you do, the easier your journey towards success and achievement actually becomes.

2) Are my goals really what I truly want, or is it for validation?

Regardless of what your circumstances are, its vital that you sit down and question why your goals are what they are and whether they're coming from a place of genuine achievement or for validation. If it's the latter, then your friends and family may have a point in feeling the way they're feeling and may even provide you with all the validation you need, realising that who you actually are is enough and don't need to prove anyone anything as far as worthiness is concerned. The issue then will not be due to lack, but in your ability to communicate your attractive qualities to the people who may not know you, and will simply have to improve the way your sell yourself. Once you've asked yourself both of these questions and given yourself an honest answer to both of them, you'll then have a better idea of where you stand and (depending on your answers) what you now need to now do to take action. The journey to success is never easy, but well worth the struggle. Onder Hassan is the owner and publisher of Dawn of Change. A self-confidence blog, using case studies and real world experiences to document his progress. He is also the author of How To Cure Social Anxiety: An Alternative Guide. Sign up for his FREE YOU 2.0 course for a simple strategy to overcoming your fears to help take you to the next level. He can be found on Google+

The post How To Believe In Yourself When Everything Is Against You appeared first on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.

11 Happiness Tips for the Twenty-Something

Alden Tan — Wed, 19 Feb 2014 04:45:01 +0000

Your twenties are such an exciting time. Yet, you're so oh so vulnerable. From going through college, getting your first job to going through your first breakup, there are so many milestones awaiting you as you grow up during your young adult phase. With that, there are many things to keep in mind that can make a huge difference in your imminent future... also known as the rest of your life. Here are 11 happiness tips for the twenty-something 1) Accept the fact that people change That means your friends will change, and that includes you. So don't be too surprised when your values clash with your friends' ones. People may get hurt. People may be betrayed. Things will not be same any more unfortunately. So accept this. Let go of friendships when you know you have to. Don't hold on to it if you know they aren't good any more. That won't help anybody. 2) Give yourself the chance to fall in love Getting into a relationship may seem scary, but there's no reason why fear alone should deprive you of what could be true love. Don't let the past get to you and take over your thoughts too. Give yourself the chance to fall in love. It's fun, exciting and scary. Even if it doesn't work out, you can learn and grow from it. 3) Yet, have the courage to break away from toxic relationships If you know you're in an unhealthy relationship, it's time to let go. There's no point holding on to a relationship for the sake of comfort or security alone. Life is short. You owe it to yourself to love and be loved. Besides, you've got your whole life ahead of you ahead. You're going to meet a lot of people. It's unrealistic to think that you'll end up alone in life. 4) Cut down on partying, because it gets old really fast I know, I know. You feel the high of from the combination of alcohol, loud music and being with your good friends. Life is awesome eh? But it gets old fast. You can't party forever. Not even on every weekend. Sooner or later boredom and fatigue would set in. You WILL want something more in life. Cut down on it when you can. Find other meaningful activities to do. Save your money so you can indulge in these activities. 5) Find passion There're so many things to talk about when it comes to passion, but essentially, it is something which identifies you and gives you a sense of purpose. It makes you excited and creates happiness for you. Going through the vulnerable period of your twenties can be scary as others are all too ready to tell you what to do and what is right for you. It can be pretty confusing. So, stop thinking about it. Feel it instead. Feel life within your heart and soul with passion. Nothing will go wrong from there. 6) You're not your job Remember this now and forever: You're not your job. Your job is there to let you work, give you some income and some form of stability. Other than that, it's nothing. You are you. Don't allow what your boss says, your salary or your status dictate your personality. Everyone is vulnerable to this trap, but at such a young age, it's best to let go of this dangerous idea before it latches on to you for your whole life. No one ever wishes on their deathbed that they spent more time at work. So it's best to live it up when you're young and energetic. 7) Travel Travel as much as you can when you've the time and energy! There's no better time to start absorbing different cultures and have a first-hand experience of the state of the world. Travelling would also help expand your mind and make you a happier person. When you see how large the world is and how many people there are out there leading different lives, you'll start to be more self-aware of yourself and what you're going through. 8) Hang out with positive people only Who are you surrounding yourself with? That's the big question right here. Just like how you should break away from toxic relationships, you should check your environment and see who you're constantly hanging out with. It's time to let go of insecurities from school, where hanging out with the "cool" kids or being popular is important. Be true to yourself and only connect with people you want. This will greatly increase your happiness. 9) Start your big business idea now Do you have a huge idea that you think can change the world? Start on it now. It doesn't have to be perfect. Don't be too hard up on the little, technical things that would supposedly make your business "perfect". Instead, simply start creating something which you think can add value and help others. Then create a simple product or service and a sales model to see who would bite. It's not that hard. Trust me, start now when you have the time and passion. Once you get your first sale, you'd more or less have an idea on how to work your business. 10) Listen to your experience You've spent pretty much your whole life listening to others. That includes your schools, your teachers, bosses and even your parents. It's time to make a meaningful life out of yourself by listening to your own experience. Stop caring about what others think too. Your experience is always true and will never lie to you. If you want to lead a proud and happy life, then make sure you stop listening to others. Time to be your own man, or woman. 11) Success doesn't bring happiness. It's the other way around Happiness brings success. So do what you love always. Be with people who inspire you all the time. Stop caring about what others think. Travel and open up in life. Once you got happiness down, the rest of life will take care of itself. Just for Pick the Brain readers If you reach to the end of this article, that’s awesome! I just wanted to tell you about my new free book! 12 Things Happy People Don’t Give a F**k About! It’s a simple, free book that let’s you know what you need to let of in life to be super happy! This free book is only available through this link to Alden-Tan. Check it out! Bio: Alden Tan keeps it real at his blog and writes about motivation in unconventional ways. His two main passions are Bboying and writing. Check out his free report, 12 Things Happy People Don’t Give a F**k About!

The post 11 Happiness Tips for the Twenty-Something appeared first on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.

7 Ways to Clear Your Mind of Negative Thoughts

Steve Bloom — Tue, 18 Feb 2014 05:19:24 +0000

Negative thinking can be a habit of mind. Thoughts sink in and linger there until you take action to get rid of them. When you first start thinking negatively, it can be tempting to try and force those thoughts out of your head. You try as hard as possible to stop thinking about them and push them out. But this approach often backfires. Resisting those negative thoughts can actually reinforce that thinking pattern and just make things worse. The more you try not to think about something, the more you actually end up thinking about it. To get rid of negative thinking, you need to try a different approach – something that will clear your mind of those negative thoughts once and for all. Here are seven ways to clear your mind of negative thinking. 1. Change your body language Take a moment to observe your body language. Are you slouching with a closed stance? Are you frowning? If you are, you’re more likely to think negatively. Bad body language can lower your self-image and lead to a lack of confidence. In that emotional state, it’s only natural to start having bad thoughts. Sit up straight in a confident manner. Open your stance and smile more. Fix your body language and you’ll feel a lot better. It might be just what you need to clear those negative thoughts. 2. Talk it out Sometimes negative thinking occurs because you have issues or emotions you need to get out. It’s not good to keep things to yourself. If you have something that needs to be addressed, you should talk through them with someone. Putting things into words gives your thoughts shape and form. That can help you put things into perspective so you can deal with them at the root of the problem. 3. Spend one minute calming your mind of all thought When your mind is running a mile a minute, it can be hard to keep up. With everything racing around your head, it can be hard to control the thoughts going on inside – especially the negative ones. Slow things down. One minute of calming is often all it takes. It’s kind of like meditation – you’re emptying your mind. Think of it as a reboot. Once it’s empty, you can fill it with something a little more positive. 4. Change the tone of your thoughts Sometimes negative thinking is the result of poor perspective. Take a look at the point of view you take on the things going on around you. For example, instead of thinking, “I’m going through a difficult time and I’m having trouble,” think “I’m facing some challenges, but I’m working on finding solutions.” You’re basically saying the same thing, except the second way has a more positive spin to it. But sometimes that little tonal shift can make a huge difference to your thinking patterns. 5. Be creative When negative thoughts come, it can pay to spend some time creatively. Find a creative outlet for your thoughts. Write things out. Draw or paint something – even if you have to use a crayon. As long as you’re using your creativity to get your negativity out, it can work. Exploring your emotions through creativity acts like auto-therapy and can elevate your mood. Creativity can feel like a release. When you put your emotions through an art form, you get them out of your system and clear them out. 6. Take a walk Because thoughts arise in the mind, it’s easy to assume that’s where they’re formed. Well, that’s only partly true. Sometimes our thoughts are a product of our environment. For example, if you surrounded yourself with negative people and negative imagery, you’d probably start to think negatively in turn. Stepping away from a negative environment can help immensely. Take a walk alone away from your usual atmosphere. Head somewhere uplifting like a park or museum. Time spent distancing yourself from those negative influences can bring you great peace of mind. 7. Start listing out what you’re grateful for Have you forgotten all the good things you have going for you? Sometimes in the daily grind, we lose focus on all the ways things that are going right in our lives. If that’s you, then you need to re-train your mind to focus on all the good happening around you instead of the bad. List off everything you’re grateful for no matter how small they seem to be. Don’t take anything for granted anymore. Sometimes the good things in our lives are right in front of our faces and we still fail to see them. Stop being blind to the positive things you already have going for you. Steve is the writer behind Do Something Cool where he blogs about travel, motivation, personal growth and adventure. He's always looking for ways to make life more interesting. Get tips on living life to the fullest through his Facebook fan page and Twitter.

The post 7 Ways to Clear Your Mind of Negative Thoughts appeared first on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.