We’ve done the binge thing for awhile; now it’s time to do the purge thing. Most of us have a tremendous amount of excess. Too many expenses, too much stuff, too many commitments and responsibilities.  Do you dream of calm over chaos? Do you wish you could hit a button and be transformed to the tranquility of another era? You can create an oasis of peace for yourself and your family, but you’re going to have to relearn what it means to simplify as I bust the top three myths about the subject over the next month.

Myth #1 – Simplifying means having and doing less.

Wrong! Simplifying is not necessarily about less. It can be about more. More time. More enjoyment. More joy. More fulfillment. More of what enriches you.

If you do or have a lot of things that don’t bring you joy or support your long-term plan, then doing or having less of that kind of stuff makes sense. But you can’t eliminate everything. If you throw out, reduce, cut back, and cancel as much as you can, you’ll be left with a void. The purpose of simplifying — at least as I see it — is to chuck what’s not important and add what is.

To understand what should be removed and what should be added, try thinking of activities and things as either assets or liabilities.

Assets

An asset is something that is valuable or that may be worth something. Obvious examples are stocks, bonds, buildings, raw land, gold, etc., but I want you to think of an asset a little more broadly. An asset is anything that:

• Gives
• Increases in value
• Provides something valuable such as money, joy, security, happiness, etc.
• Strengthens and empowers you
• Moves you closer to your goals
• Provides positive stress and healthful excitement
• Relaxes and calms
• Increases health and vitality

Liabilities

Liabilities are obligations, debts, and things that cost more money than they produce or are worth, but again, let’s think more broadly. A liability is anything that:

• Takes from you
• Decreases in value
• Eliminates or reduces something valuable such as money, joy, security, happiness, etc.
• Weakens you
• Moves you farther from your goals
• Provides negative stress
• Creates anxiety or agitates
• Decreases health and vitality

Bottom line? Assets give. Liabilities take.

So how does this help you simplify? Create an inventory of everything in your life — from your friendships, projects, and commitments to your expenses, belongings, and goals. Since this is quite a task, make it easier by starting with just one area. For example, non-work commitments.

List all of your commitments, responsibilities, obligations, or whatever you call them. Take out your calendar and look back a few months and forward a few months to jog your memory. Make a big list. For example, your list may include a homeowner’s association meeting, mowing the lawn, paying bills, volunteering, being a greeter at church, driving the kids to school, planning a birthday party for a friend, etc.

Now, categorize each of these commitments as either an asset (A) or a liability (L). Does the activity or responsibility give or does it take? Does it get you closer to your goals or farther away? Does it create healthful excitement, or does it just stress you out?

The next step is determining if you can eliminate any of the Ls. You’ll never be able to eliminate all your liabilities, but your goal should be to get rid of as many as possible. The power of this exercise is becoming conscious of what gives and what takes, and then making some informed decisions about what A activities you can add and what L activities you can reduce or eliminate.

Again, simplifying is not about doing or having less. You can be running around from one project and commitment to another all day every day and be 100 percent content as long as you have filled your life with assets.

Stay tuned for two more simplifying myths over the next month. If you can’t wait, skip on over to Leo Babauta’s blog, ZenHabits.com — you won’t find a better site on doing more with less.

For a limited time, you can download several free resources (assessment, poster, audio interview, video, and more) at www.other8hours.com and learn more about my new book, The Other 8 Hours: Maximize Your Free Time to Create New Wealth and Purpose.

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When you were a child, you often had to wait for permission to do something. Perhaps you needed to be a certain age before you were allowed to use the oven or cross the road by yourself. Maybe you needed to ask mom before you got a snack. Even as a teen, you had to stick to rules: curfew, acceptable music volume, homework…

Once you’re eighteen, you’re free to do what you want (within the bounds of legality). So why do we get stuck waiting for permission?

You’ll know what I mean, even if you’ve never consciously acknowledged it. Maybe:

• You’re waiting for someone to say that you’re good enough before you’ll allow yourself to paint/write/sing/act
• You won’t take that course or qualification until you’re “ready”
• There are some things you’d love to try – but you’re worried what your mom would say
• You’re afraid to be yourself; you always follow the crowd

So often, the only person who needs to say “yes” is … you. Here’s how:

Step 1: Put Yourself In Control

It’s tempting to blame our problems on other people. It’s easy to make excuses for not taking the steps we want to in our lives.

You keep your boring, safe job because quitting would shock your parents. You never branch out and buy different clothes because you wouldn’t fit in with your friends any more. You and your partner want to emigrate, but you know your grandparents will be upset if you move away.

I’m not saying that your decisions are easy, but you do need to make yourself responsible for taking them. That means:

• Stop making excuses like “my mom wouldn’t like it if…” or “my friends would laugh at me”
• Start admitting what you want – even if you’re still convinced you can’t have it. Tell someone you trust or write it down in secret.

Step 2: Get Real About Barriers to Entry

When we’re stuck waiting for permission (from ourselves), it’s often because we think we’re not good enough. Maybe you’d love to learn to paint or act or write, but you’re scared to take a course because you’re a beginner.

In Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain, Betty Edwards writes:

Often, in fact, people even feel that they shouldn’t take a drawing course because they don’t know already how to draw. This is like deciding that you shouldn’t take a French class because you don’t already speak French, or that you shouldn’t sign up for a course in carpentry because you don’t know how to build a house.

Everyone starts as a beginner. Of course some of us have more innate talent than others, but you can almost certainly improve with teaching and practice.

Is there really anything stopping you applying for that course? Booking a place at that seminar? Applying for that job? Often, the skills and qualifications you’ve got are enough – you’re just selling yourself short.

Step 3: Figure out a First Step

Sometimes, we’re not just waiting for permission – we’re also waiting for someone to tell us how to begin. Just like when we were children, we’re expecting mom or dad or a friend to say “start here”. Unfortunately, you need to figure out your own first steps.

If you’d love to be a writer, stop waiting for the world to give you permission. Figure out what you need to do to get started (maybe write a short story – or send out something to a competition) and get going.

First steps aren’t necessarily easy. You might try and fail. (But that didn’t stop you when you were learning to walk, did it?) You might be afraid that people will laugh, scoff, or even be angry if you take a new direction. Often, you’ll be surprised how supportive the friends and family close to you are – if they really don’t get it, try joining a group, club or association of like-minded people who can encourage you.

Are you waiting for permission to get started on something you’ve dreamt about? Why? Who’s stopping you?

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Are you worrying, hurrying or stressed? Stress comes with a long list of damaging effects of stress like heart disease, high blood pressure, accelerated aging, anxiety, depression, anger, forgetfulness, learning difficulty and sleep disorder. When we are stressed, we try to forget about stress by doing something else such as shopping, eating, watching a movie, listening to music, or even taking mind altering substances. By doing so, we might get a temporary relief from the stress but often end up more stressed. A good news is that scientists discovered very effective way of reducing stress with our mind. Jon Kabat-Zinn, Professor of Medicine Emeritus at the University of Massachusetts Medical School, was one of the first Western scientists who discovered and demonstrated the effectiveness of mindfulness in its clinical applications, especially stress reduction. Since he introduced Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) in 1979, University of Massachusetts Medical Center Research and other researchers elsewhere have found mindfulness is effective in reducing stress and provides other benefits. Mindfulness training is now becoming an essential stress reducing skills being offered growing number of hospitals, clinics, universities, psychiatrists and psychotherapists in US and other countries.

Mindfulness is awareness of one’s physical and mental experiences. Mindfulness is also an innate ability of human mind, which sees things as they really are without distortion, prejudice or bias. But mindfulness is different from thinking. If thinking is doing, mindfulness is being. For example, you are aware of thirst. This awareness is an example of mindfulness. If you are trying to make a choice between tea, coffee or water. If you were aware of the thinking while you were thinking, the awareness is another example of mindfulness.

In recent years, UCLA (University of California, Los Angeles) scientists were intrigued by the therapeutic effect of mindfulness and investigated with a support of National Institute of Mental Health. The UCLA study found that mindfulness positively affects brain functions, e.g. a simple awareness on anger reduces anger. When you are angry, simply be aware of or tell yourself “I’m angry”. You will notice a calming effect.

When you are stressed, a stress response occurs. The stress response is also known as the fight or flight response. The stress response helped our ancestors to survive in life threatening encounters with predators. The stress response includes adrenaline production, increased heart rate, and other reactions that are needed in fighting or running away from the predators. The stress response is subject to false alarm. For example, when we lose job or simply worry about such possibility, our body responds with the same kind of stress response triggered when our ancestors were being attacked by a tiger. False alarm can leave adverse effects in our body. Thus it is important to realize a false alarm when it occurs. Mindfulness is about perceiving things as they really are without distortion or bias. When you apply mindfulness, to stress, it helps us realize a false alarm. When our mind is aware of the false alarm, the stress response is diminished or thwarted from being elevated to the full scale stress response. As a result, adverse effects of stress in our body are minimized.

Try the following exercise for 1 minute when you are stressed. 1) Notice physical symptoms of stress that you are experiencing such as increased heart rate, shallow breath, tightened muscles or tiredness. 2) Pay your attention to your mind and notice thoughts or memories that accompany the stress, or something that makes you worried, feeling overwhelmed, angry, depressed, frustrated, or afraid. Be aware that you are stressed or tell yourself that “you are stressed”. While you are aware of your stress, your stress is lessened. Repeat the exercise if it is desired.

If your mind wanders while you are doing the exercise, your mindfulness is not strong enough to be effective. Our mind tends to wander without focus. You can easily test to see if you can effortlessly sustain mindfulness for a period of time. For example, while you are driving a car or taking a shower, see if your mind is in the car or in the shower or thinking something else. If you want to take advantage of full power of mindfulness, you will need to develop your mindfulness so that you can sustain your mindfulness unwaveringly with clarity long enough to see the in-depth causes of your stress as they are without distortion or bias.

Just as you build muscles in your body, you can build mindfulness muscles in your mind with training and exercise. Here is a simple mindfulness exercise that will help you develop mindfulness. Do this while you are eating your meal or food. 1) Start to eat your food normally (but without rushing it). 2) Notice taste and texture of the food in your mouth. As you chew the food, notice changes in taste and texture. 3) When your mind wanders or lose focus, bring your attention gently back to your eating.

Here is another mindfulness exercise, which develops mindfulness (especially on your mental experiences) and can act as an antidote to stress at the same time. 1) Choose a person who you are strongly grateful to. 2) Recognize all the kindness or benefits the person provided to you. 3) Notice feeling of gratitude towards the person. 4) For a minute, focus your mind on the feeling of gratitude that you are experiencing. You probably noticed calming effect in your mind and relaxation in your body while doing this exercise. Likewise, you can exercise mindfulness in your other daily activities such as walking, taking a shower, commuting, etc. The more you exercise and use mindfulness, the more benefits you get.

You will need to develop mindfulness at least for several weeks in order for mindfulness to be effective. (For example, the Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction program trains participants for 8 weeks). Mindfulness is not a substitute for medicine or medical professionals. If you need medical attention related to your stress, you should see a doctor or visit clinics, hospitals that offer a mindfulness based stress reduction or management program.

Mindfulness is a powerful stress buster. Mindfulness also helps you deal with life’s challenges and stresses more calmly and effectively. Next time you encounter stress, you don’t have to shopping, eating, watching a movie to forget about stress. Instead you should welcome it. Because each time you encounter stress, the stress trains your mindfulness smarter and more sophisticated in its ability to bust stress and protect you from damaging effects of stress.

Related articles;

• Mindfulness introduction by Mental Health Foundation www.bemindful.co.uk
• Mindfulness exercise introduction.  http://www.meditationgeek.org/2010/01/mindfulness-exercise-introduction.html
• Mindfulness training bust stress, CNN, http://www.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/06/01/mindfulness.training.stress/index.html
• Meditation on prescription: charity urges new remedy for depression, Guardian, http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2010/jan/05/meditation-on-nhs-urged
• Group therapy ‘beats depression, BBC, http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/7754632.stm
• Is Buddhism Good for Your Health?, New York Times,  http://www.nytimes.com/2003/09/14/magazine/is-buddhism-good-for-your-health.html?pagewanted=1
• Mindfulness, Wkipedia, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mindfulness_(psychology)
• Introduction to Center for Mindfulness at University of Massachusetts Medical School http://www.umassmed.edu/Content.aspx?id=41252

Sung Yang is an avid meditator. He occasionally teaches and writes about meditation. He received his first meditation training about 30 years ago. Ever since he learned and practiced various meditation techniques.

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Have you ever been blind sided by an unexpected event that threatened to throw your dreams, hopes, and life plans off-course? If nothing that grandiose has happened (lucky you!), how about just being surprised by small obstacles that threaten to ruin your day?

Big or small, unexpected events will happen. You can not avoid them, you can only control how you respond to them. It is in those critical moments after the unexpected occurs that ultimately determine your long term success. Think about it: anyone can do well when everything is going great. What separates people who succeed (the Winners) from those who don’t and just complain about it (the Whiners) is how well they respond to life’s inevitable curveballs.

How can you make sure you respond to the unexpected like a Winner and not a Whiner? Here are six traits that separate the two:

1) Whiners Focus on the Past, Winners Focus on the Present and Future

Whiners love to dwell on the past. “I wish this never happened!” or, “if you had just done what I said we wouldn’t have this problem,” or everyone’s favorite, “I told you this would happen!”  The past is done and over and can not be changed. For some reason this simple concept eludes Whiners.

Winners understand that we live in the here and now. Rather than dwelling on the past, Winners focus on the future they want to create and think of actions they can take in the present to make that future happen.

2) Whiners Cast Blame, Winners Take Responsibility

When something goes wrong, the Whiner’s “blame radar” kicks into full gear and they start a CSI style investigation to find the guilty party. This hurts morale and takes away energy from the most important task: fixing the problem! Winners take responsibility and simply say, “what can I do to solve this now?”

There is a time and place to identify what went wrong, why it happened, and what can be done to make sure it doesn’t happen again. That time and place is after the crisis is resolved, not before.

3) Whiners React, Winners Think

By, “Winners think,” I do not mean that they put things off for days; they usually think quite quickly. The important thing is that they take a short period of time to analyze the situation, think about their goals, and figure out what the best course of action is.

Whiners react in one of two ways: 1) They jump into the first action that comes to mind just so they feel like they are doing something (no matter how pointless it may be) or 2) they react out of stress and do something stupid like snap at their loved ones or throw in the towel and quit.

4) Whiners Freeze, Winners Take Action

On the flip side, once Winners have thought things through, they take action. They are smart enough to know that ideas without implementation are meaningless. Whiners, once they have gotten past their knee-jerk reactions, freeze up and get paralyzed. I call this “curling up on the couch,” syndrome. Rather than doing something, whiners curl up on the couch watching TV, hoping the problem will go away on its own.

5) Whiners Look for Validation, Winners Lead by Example

The most annoying thing about Whiners is that they are not content in their whiney solitude. No, they find it necessary to share their complaints with people around them in hope that others will validate their issues with a “you’re right,” or “yes, I feel the same way.” Rather than do something about the problem, Whiners seek out comfort in others. Winners take charge, take action, and lead by example. While others are sharing complaints, the Winners say, “here’s what happened, and here’s what I’m going to do about it. Who’s with me?”

6) Whiners Waffle, Winners Decide

When change throws them off course, Whiners refuse to decide on a course of action. Trapped wishing that things had never changed, Whiners waffle between all their options and hold of making a decision as long as possible. Winners weigh their options and pick a course of action. They know that even if they end up not picking the best choice, some action is better than none. And the sooner they take action, the sooner they can get feedback on those actions and make adjustments.

The lesson here is simple: Winners win and Whiners lose. If you want to succeed in the face of life’s unexpected curveballs, make sure you act like a Winner!

Avish Parashar is the Motivational Smart Ass. As a speaker and on his blog, Avish makes people laugh while sharing with them simple ideas to make their lives easier and more successful. To read more of his ridiculous rantings on self improvement, watch videos of him in action, and download the free “How to Think Quick” MP3, visit http://www.MotivationalSmartAss.com

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Reports in the NY Times and elsewhere point to the rise of Chinese language instruction in our schools, against the backdrop of the demise of language learning in general. People justify this rush to Chinese by referring to the growth of the Chinese economy. The US government has declared Chinese a “critical language.” How realistic is this Chinese boom, and will it last? Here is a reality check.

1) Chinese will probably not help your kid get a job.

Chinese is being touted as the language of the future, given the growth of the Chinese economy. Some predict that a knowledge of Chinese will be big advantage in the job markets of the future. It is worthwhile remembering that Chinese is the language of business in only one country, China. Relatively few American kids are going to be working in China after graduating.

2) Chinese is not an international language and unlikely to become one.

Almost all Chinese speakers are in one country. Chinese is not an international language. It is not used widely by speakers of third languages. It is unlikely that this will change in the short term because Chinese is very difficult to learn, for most people.

3) Chinese is difficult.

Chinese has no vocabulary in common with English, unlike Spanish, where over the half the words are similar to English words. Most kids in the US who study Spanish do not  learn to speak. English speaking school kids in Canada have had similarly poor results with their French studies. It is likely that kids who study Mandarin in schools will have even more difficulty.

4) Learning the Chinese writing system is time consuming.

To write Chinese requires the learning of several thousand characters. Each character consists of up to 15 or more strokes.  Chinese children are surrounded by the written language from early childhood. Our kids would have devote an immense amount of time to this task. There is already a fundamental problem with literacy in English in our schools. Learning to write Chinese would be a major distraction for most school children.

5) There is little chance to use Chinese.

While there are around 40 – 50 million Spanish speakers in the US, there are only 2 million Chinese speakers. However, most of these Chinese speakers speak Cantonese, so students studying Mandarin would not have many native speakers to practice with, even assuming that some would learn to speak.

6) The rush to Chinese is being pushed by the Chinese government.

The Chinese government has a major program to promote Chinese language studies around the world and appears willing to pay for teachers and for trips to China for school administrators. This represents an opportunity to establish Chinese language programs in certain schools, no doubt. Is it advisable, however, for school curricula to be determined by the promotional activities of foreign governments?

7) Learning Mandarin makes sense for other reasons.

There are excellent reasons to offer Mandarin, as an option, in our schools, without the hype and without making it a “critical language”. For much of the last 4,000 years of history about 20% of humanity has been Chinese. Chinese culture has had an important influence on the course of history. The number of schools in the US offering Chinese has grown from 1% to 4% from 1997 to 2008. This is hardly surprising and is, in fact, largely overdue. Mandarin language instruction should be offered, and looked upon from a longer term educational perspective, and not as a sudden reaction to recent Chinese economic growth.

Steve Kaufmann is a former Canadian diplomat, and President of KP Wood Ltd. He is also the founder and CEO of LingQ.com. Steve speaks eleven languages and maintains a blog on language learning. He wrote the book The Linguist, A Language Learning Odyssey.

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What’s your guilty reality TV pleasure? The Bachelor? Survivor? America’s Got Talent? Of course, the granddaddy of them all — American Idol — just started a new season. Some 30 or 40 million fans have been waiting six months for American Idol to kick off. If this season is anything like last season, expect at least 50 hours of American Idol on your TV. No, that’s not a typo.

Last year I gave you a few ideas on what you could have done with those 50 hours instead of watch American Idol. For example, you could earn an extra $1,000, read several books, start writing your own book, burn 43,000 calories jogging, learn the waltz, and others. But, who am I kidding? If you like the show, you’re not going to listen to me. Heck, I’m not even going to listen to me because I’m going to watch this season!

But you’re nuts if you think I’m going to waste 50 hours. Here are my 5 rules for watching reality TV efficiently:

1. Never forget the price of an hour. Quick, what’s the average life expectancy for someone in the United States? According to the Center for Disease Control, it is 77.8 years; but the guys in white lab coats at the CDC got it wrong. Sleep and work take 313,176 hours of our life. This leaves us 368,352 hours — 42 years. That’s our real life expectancy. Watching a couple of hours of TV might not seem like a big deal (most people watch 4 hours and 35 minutes per day!), but if you only have 8 real hours a day, those two hours suddenly represent 25% of your day! Next time you start flipping mindlessly through the channels, ask yourself if you really want to invest 25% or 50% of your day to TV.
2. Never watch live TV. This is so obvious I questioned including it, but you’d be shocked at the number of people who still watch those, uh, those short annoying things that interrupt the show. You’ll save about 20 minutes for every hour of TV you watch. This one is a no-brainer. Get a DVR and use it.
3. Never watch the elimination episodes. This should save you about 15 hours and at least a dozen brain cells. How they can create an hour-long show around a 30 second elimination both infuriates and impresses me.
4. Never just watch TV. American Idol ain’t rocket science. There are a thousand things you could be doing while watching. Here are a few ideas: pay bills, read a magazine, exercise, write notes to family and friends, surf the web, connect with Facebook friends, pack tomorrow’s lunch, fold your clothes, or give a massage.
5. Never watch TV alone. If you’re going to kill two hours watching the latest reality show, you might as well make a party out of it. Invite friends over and encourage them to bring somebody new each week — this way you get to expand your network, connect with your friends, and watch some TV at the same time.

I once went two years without watching any TV, and guess what? I didn’t miss a thing. I do watch some TV now, but I make sure I am conscious about what I’m watching and how I’m watching it. If you follow these 5 rules, you’ll still enjoy TV but you’ll achieve more.

And remember, the other 8 hours are your most precious time to create a more financially secure and rewarding life. Don’t spend all of this time watching others try to achieve their dream while neglecting your own.

For a limited time, you can download several free resources (assessment, poster, audio interview, video, and more) at www.other8hours.com and learn more about my new book, The Other 8 Hours: Maximize Your Free Time to Create New Wealth & Purpose.

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Being a big dreamer doesn’t mean that you walk around with your head in the clouds. It means that you’re seeking a purpose for your life and it means that you’re becoming fulfilled in the process.

People that get into the habit of dreaming big will accomplish those goals because they have the right mindset. You need to look at life with the perspective that you can achieve anything that’s possible. If you can accomplish big dreams, why wouldn’t you go after them? Why would you want to settle for small dreams?

Here’s a list of reasons why you should be a big dreamer:

1.    Following Your Dreams Connects You to Your Inner Self. If you want to be happy right down to the core of your being, you need to be a big dreamer. Big dreams can fulfill you right down to the soul because you’ve sought out your true purpose in life. It’s likely the biggest reason why you wouldn’t want to settle on small dreams.

2.    Because You Have a Choice. You should be a big dreamer because you do have a choice in the matter. Sure you might have a goal or dream that is very difficult to achieve. You might come face to face with failure, and that can be rather frightening. Many people are led down the path where they decide to never attempt their ultimate “big dreams”. You don’t have to be one of these people. You can choose to follow your biggest dreams.

3.    You’ll Be Following Your True Calling. There are not many feelings that could be considered better than knowing that you’ve found the meaning in your life. Perhaps you don’t know what your true calling in life is yet, and you won’t get to that point without dreaming big first. Some people might say that their true calling fell right into their lap, but this isn’t always the case. You need to do some deep thinking and take action in order to get there.

4.    Your Dreams Will Come True. Your dreams don’t need to remain dreams forever; they have a real possibility of coming true. If you’re a big dreamer, you’ll achieve big dreams. It’s a strong belief in yourself combined with those big dreams that’ll make you a personal success. Don’t settle on small dreams when you can be achieving bigger things.

5.    You’ll Be Open to Possibilities. When you dream big things, you open many doors. You’ll encounter a good amount of excitement as you go about life because you’ll be in adventurous and unpredictable situations. This is because big dreams can push your limits and keep your life fresh. Who wouldn’t want a life filled with excitement?

6.    You’ll Achieve More. When you dream big, you’ll achieve great things. You may even end up achieving more than you ever thought you could. For example, you might be at a crossroads where you’re considering whether or not to get a job in a certain field or start a business in that same field. The job is a safe bet with a likely limited salary. The business is the “big dream” that can provide fulfillment and not just in the salary potential. You’ll be personally fulfilled and you’ll achieve more for your hard work.

7.    It’s the Right Thing to Do for the World. Big dreams are the reasons why the world changes for the better. It’s the reason why there have been so many great inventions, and cures for diseases, etc. Big dreams give you the opportunity to truly leave your mark on the world.

Author’s Bio:

Mark Foo has brought together 48 personal development bloggers and writers to co-author The 77 Traits of Highly Successful People and it’s available to you FREE. Claim your free copy of the eBook now at http://www.77SuccessTraits.com to discover how to achieve all that you want in life.

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A lot of people have quite a fatalistic attitude towards self-discipline. They see themselves as essentially undisciplined people who lack the stamina to follow through on their decisions. They might talk about a “procrastination problem” or “no will power”. They blame their lack of self-discipline for their inability to get their business off the ground, or finish college, or successfully quit smoking or diet.

I don’t believe that any of us are lost causes when it comes to self-discipline. I also don’t think that any of us are born with iron wills or great tenacity: it’s something which we learn.

Short-Time Pleasure

A lack of self-discipline is often the result of a focus on short-term pleasure over long-term rewards. You might have experienced this a lot as a teen or in college, prioritising partying or computer games over studying! And, at the time, you might have been quite annoyed by adults who tried to persuade you to knuckle down and get on with your homework. Perhaps you used to blow your allowance money on CDs, only to end up broke and unable to go out with friends.

As we grow up, we learn (sometimes painfully) that it’s often worth enduring some short-term difficulties in order to have longer-term happiness.

How You Developed Self-Discipline

In most cases, we become more self-disciplined as we grow older. If you think back to your childhood or teens, you can probably remember times when you had almost no self-discipline. I suspect that now:

• You’re able to get up on time when you have to go to work – without dad yelling at you to get out of bed
• You make sure you have enough money to pay your bills – without mom doling it out in small installments
• You keep your home reasonably clean: not because your parents are nagging you to do your chores, but because you want to have clean dishes to eat off!

Even though you might feel that you’re not very self-disciplined, you have learnt to delay gratification and to get on with things that aren’t necessarily end-to-end fun – because you know that life’s easier that way.

Growing the Self-Discipline Muscle

In college, I used to regularly drink far too much. I stayed up late at night playing computer games, and often dashed off essays at the last minute. I expect that might sound pretty familiar! However, I now make a living freelancing – and I’ve also written around 200,000 words of fiction in the past year. I probably wouldn’t have had the self-discipline to do what I do today, six years ago.

If you’ve ever worked out in the gym, you’ll know how quickly you can build up muscles. Your self-discipline is a bit like a muscle: the more you use it, the stronger it’ll become. However, if you try to do far too much too soon, you’ll just fail and end up disappointed.

So how can you actively improve your self discipline?

• Pick three things you will definitely accomplish tomorrow. Many of us have real trouble in actually getting on with the things which we want to get done – we let interruptions and distractions take over our day.

• Take a thirty-day trial. If you’re trying to lose weight, take up exercise, etc, doing it for thirty days can give you more motivation and focus than if you simply try to do it indefinitely. You can always choose to extend the trial. (If thirty days is too long, try a week.)

• Get into the habit of fulfilling your promises – and ask those around you to keep you accountable. If both you and your partner know that when you say “I’ll cook tonight” that it’s not going to happen, then make sure that changes.

• Talk to friends or read books or blogs which encourage you – either by offering advice or by setting an example to follow. I like Dave Navarro’s no-nonsense Rock Your Day.

Above all, stop telling yourself that you “just aren’t self-disciplined”. Don’t see your levels of self-discipline as something dictated by fate – see them as something you can actively earn and improve upon.

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Personal development happens when you finally decide to change the way you live your life for the better. It must be emphasized that the whole process is not only made up of good experiences or formal workshops. Even bad experiences can help in pointing a person to the right direction in life.

But most, if not all mentors would try to fix on self-motivation and positive thinking as the two most important considerations that ensure personal development success. Well, they may be right, but a holistic approach to self-development goes way beyond these two factors. Read on to know what else is needed to help you attain self-awareness and development.

1. Personal Development Game Plan

First off, you need to have a system to reach your development goals. There is no use in simply talking about how badly you want to attain self-awareness or development. You will need to adopt a system and see the big picture. As you may know, personal development is a very broad area of interest and you can easily lose your way if you do not have a plan. You can put down on paper what you intend to do with your life and where you want to be after you undergo the program you have planned.

Always remember that only by having a definite course of action will you be able to determine if you have become a better individual or if the circumstances in your life have improved. Your plan, when done correctly, will serve as your gauge with which you can measure your progress.

2. Take the Plunge

You may have enough motivation or positive thoughts, but if you do not take action today, your personal development will never become a reality. Remember, becoming a better person does not happen overnight and time is of the essence. So, start now or lose the chance to improve yourself. Take the risk. Life is supposed to be an adventure, so if you do not get out of your comfort zone, you will be left rotting in your current situation.

3. Open Yourself to Change

The operative word in personal development is change. If you cannot handle change, then you will never be able to improve yourself. Well, you can argue that change will happen even if you do not welcome it. The question is would you rather be changed by factors that you do not control? Obviously, it is better to be prepared for or personally carry out the changes in your life. This way, you will know what actions you need to make.

4. Sit on the Shoulders of Giants

If you want to speed up your personal development, you need to learn from people who have been in your shoes before. You really do not need to re-invent the wheel. All you have to do is study other people’s experience, especially those that have become successful in their quest to become better individuals. To leverage your time and effort, it is always a good idea to have a life coach or mentor. You can also read books or listen to self-development CDs.

5. Be Responsible for Your Personal Development

You are what you allow yourself to be. In other words, the things that define you today have happened because you allowed them. If you have been lazy or indifferent all these years, you have no one to put the blame on but yourself. Even your environment cannot be made accountable for the person that you have or will become. You have always held the keys to improving your life. So, the initiative to improve yourself should come from you and whatever result you get from self-development programs is your responsibility.

Author’s Bio: Have you ever dreamed of achieving all that you want in life? Find out how in The 77 Traits of Highly Successful People. Mark Foo has brought together 48 personal development bloggers and writers to co-author the success eBook that spells out all the success secrets of the very successful people. This eBook is available to you FREE and you can grab your free copy now at http://www.77SuccessTraits.com.

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“I’ll go for a run just as soon as I finish this article. … Right, should return that call from Roger. … Well, now I’m hungry and I can’t run on an empty stomach. … Now I’m feeling too full. … Rain clouds?! Better wait and see if it clears up. … Great. It’s getting dark now. … What a shame; I really was going to have that run. There’s always tomorrow!”

We lie! To ourselves and anyone who’ll listen. You see, part of me knew I had no intention of going for that run. Actually, I honestly love to exercise. And not just because it helps me sleep deeply and increases my energy.

I know that exercise motivation doesn’t come naturally to most people. It didn’t for me. I had to work at getting and keeping myself motivated to run, do yoga, and weight-lift.

The following tips work for me (and for many of my clients who need to exercise). I know they’ll help your exercise motivation, too.

Tip 1: Don’t think; do

Don’t give yourself time to think about exercise; over-thinking saps motivation. If you scheduled exercise for 5.30 pm and find yourself thinking about it during the day, make yourself think about something else. When 5.30 comes, just do it. Analysis paralysis is not the way to exercise motivation. It’s like getting out of bed; the more you think about it, the more time you spend in bed. Just do it. There are times when it’s best not to think.

Emil Zátopek, one of the greatest middle- and long-distance runners in history, said: “If one can stick to the training throughout the many long years, then willpower is no longer a problem. It’s raining? That doesn’t matter. I am tired? That’s beside the point. It’s simply that I just have to.”

Tell yourself your upcoming exercise session is ‘non-negotiable’. Are you a contender or not?

But if you do start thinking about not doing it …

Tip 2: Imagine how not exercising will make you feel

This is a strange one. After all, most motivators try to get you to focus on how great you’ll feel (which also works). But this tip is shockingly effective.

If you find yourself trying to squirm out of exercise, focus on how you’d feel later if you didn’t exercise. If you don’t go for that walk, yoga, or aerobics session, you feel: disappointment in yourself, weakness, the lack of ‘feel good’ chemicals that would be circulating if only you’d been motivated enough to exercise.

Strongly imagining how you’ll feel if you don’t fulfil your scheduled exercise session may be enough to propel you into action. And, really, there is only ever one exercise session to think about.

Constantly telling yourself, ”I have to exercise three times a week” or ”every day” can feel overwhelming. Why do that? Just tell yourself, ”I am going to exercise today.” That’s all. All those single exercise sessions soon add up.

Tip 3: Remember the wonderful physical benefits of exercise

• Improved heart and lung function
• Healthier complexion
• Better sex life (and more chance of getting one!)
• Better digestion (and bowel function)
• Brighter eyes
• Slimmer and more toned body
• Deeper, more refreshing sleep
• More attractive appearance
• Increased youthfulness
• More efficient metabolism – you even burn more calories between exercise sessions!

I love the thought that, for almost twenty-four hours after an exercise session, you’re burning off more calories than you would have been. Even while sleeping!

Re-read this list between exercise sessions. Keep it fresh in your mind.

Tip 4: Remember the plentiful psychological benefits of regular exercise

• Better mood: Physical movement is the quickest way to produce serotonin (the brain’s ‘happiness chemical’). The more intense the movement, the higher the production of serotonin. Regular exercise three times a week has been found to be more effective at lifting depression than taking antidepressants (1).
• Self-confidence: Regular exercise gives you a sense of self-mastery, increased confidence, and higher self-esteem. This can have knock-on benefits to other areas of life.
• Stress management: Exercise makes you better at dealing with stress. Under pressure, fit people show less physical tension and a lower resting heart rate than less fit individuals.
• Increased intelligence: Working out improves your brain’s performance as well as your body. You can become smarter, and improve your memory and other mental functions! Chess champions often up their physical exercise program before big tournaments.

Tip 5: Vary your exercise routine

Take a week off from the gym or the aerobics class and go jogging in the park instead to get the additional mood-boosting effects of being in nature. A night of dancing is also great exercise. Do some gardening. Take the dog out for a run. Mix it up. Variation is the spice of exercise motivation.

Tip 6: Visualize yourself exercising

The body does what the mind envisions. You are much more likely to do something – anything – if you first strongly imagine seeing yourself doing it (2). The better able you are to visualize yourself exercising (as if watching yourself from the outside), the more motivated you’ll actually be to do it. You’ll have set yourself a mental blueprint that now wants to be activated.

Happily, I’m now at the point where I don’t actually have to feel super-motivated to exercise; it’s something I just do. And I feel bad if I don’t do it. Imagine not cleaning your teeth for a few days. You’d probably be quite keen to get back to it.

Right. With all this in mind, I’m feeling extremely motivated and am off for my daily run. : ) (Seriously.)

Mark Tyrrell is a Guest Blogger for PickTheBrain,  therapist, trainer and author. He has written thousands of articles on self help and personal development, many of which can be found at his website UncommonHelp.me

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(1) James A. Blumenthal, Ph.D. and his colleagues surprised many people in 1999 when they demonstrated that regular exercise is more effective than antidepressant medications for patients with major depression.  The researchers studied 156 older adults diagnosed with major depression, assigning them to receive the antidepressant Zoloft (setraline), 30 minutes of exercise three times a week, or both. According to Blumenthal, “Our findings suggest that a modest exercise program is an effective, robust treatment for patients with major depression who are positively inclined to participate in it.  The benefits of exercise are likely to endure particularly among those who adopt it as a regular, ongoing life activity.” A follow-up study in 2000 showed that patients who maintained their exercise patterns were doing much better than those who were just taking medication.

(2) Psychologist Lisa Libby, Ph.D. and colleagues found that participants in her research were much more likely to vote if they had first visualized themselves voting from a third-person perspective. Visualizing ourselves doing something primes the brain and body to actually do it.