happiness

Everything You Need To Know About Happiness

Posted on May 13, 2010 by Farouk Radwan | CATEGORIES: happiness, self improvement

“Happiness” courtesy of Zhong Bioa

The truth about affirmations:
With all of these books around touting the benefits of affirmations, Psychologists became curious to know whether they actually worked.

They brought together many different subjects, having various degrees of self confidence and told them to repeat positive statements about their self confidence such as “I am confident” and “I am worthy”

What was found is that confident people felt more confident after the experiment while those who lacked confidence felt even worse.

The explanation is simple, when you repeat a statement that matches your inner belief system your subconscious mind will be reminded of the statement and will let you feel good if it was a positive one, on the other hand if you tried to force your subconscious mind to believe in something against its belief system it will sense the deception and so make you feel guilty.

In short, affirmations can never make you happy if you weren’t already happy nor can they make you more confident if you weren’t already feeling confident.

We are not the same:
Read as much as you can about happiness and you will find that most of the sources describe happiness in a different way. Some people will tell you that true happiness is in success, others will tell you that its in fame a third group will tell you that true happiness is being rich.

Everyone describes happiness from his own perspective without putting in mind that humans, unlike ants, are completely different and that what makes Sam happy would never make Sarah happy.

The conclusions is, everyone has his own belief system and according to it his own true happiness differs from others. The key to becoming truly happy to first understand the things that really make you happy then go on a quest to bring them.

Happiness and unmet needs:
If a person lived his life suffering from poverty then became a millionaire he will be the happiest man ever (provided that money was his only problem). Research has shown that normal people who win the lottery return back to their original mood after getting used to it but those who have financial unmet needs never get used to the things they missed in the past.

Happiness In short can be achieved by understanding your unmet needs and working on fulfilling them. If your unmet need is intimacy then money, fame or positive thinking won’t make you happy but only intimate relationships will.

Find your unmet needs, work on fulfilling them and you will discover real happiness. If you are Hungary then nothing will make you feel good except eating and if you tried to drink instead of eating you will still feel Hungary.

Happiness is the absence of bad emotions:
Happiness can also be defined as the absence of bad emotions. If you had a fight with one of your friends in the morning you are less likely to feel happy that day because of the anger you experienced.

Many of us follow life styles that promote stress, anger, frustration and other bad emotions. Even if emotions weren’t intense still they would never allow you to feel happy if they existed.

You must learn how to avoid stress, negative people, unneeded quarrels and any other source of negative emotions that can be avoided.

Happiness and incorrectly set priorities:
Ask anybody about his priorities and he will tell you that happiness is one of them, ask him about the things that he does in life and he will reply saying that he hates most of them.

How many people work at jobs that they hate then claim that happiness is a priority in their life?
How many people stay in abusive relationships yet claim that they want to live a happy life?

If you really want to be happy then happiness must be considered a priority that has an impact on the decisions you make in your life.

To summarize this all, becoming happy is all about understanding what makes you happy then doing it and knowing what makes you feel bad then avoiding it.

M.Farouk Radwan is the Founder of http://www.2knowmyself.com, The Ultimate source of self understanding. 10,000,000 Visits and counting.

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Related Articles:

How To Be Happy At Work
How To Increase Your Will Power

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  • http://selfhelpnotes.org Joe

    Good point about the lottery winners, it shows that money, happiness etc really does come from the inside.

    • http://www.2knowmyself.com Farouk

      thanks Joe:)

  • http://www.mackaynlpsolutions.co.uk/ Tom MacKay

    Really interesting – one of the things I have found with affirmations is that the way you say them is more important that what you say! If you aren’t confident and say to yourself ‘I am confident’ in an unconfident tonality, it won’t have any effect. Say it with a confident tonality and it will work better. It goes back to the old song ‘it ain’t what you say, its the way that you say it’!

    • http://www.2knowmyself.com Farouk

      that’s a good point Tom, thanks for your addition :)

  • http://www.misshandley.co.uk liz

    What about if a person decides to avoid things that make them feel “bad” ie doing something that requires confidence they don’t feel they have? Or confronting someone they are scared of because they lack a certain level of assertiveness? Surely it is better for them to face their fears and overcome these issues rather than avoiding them completely?

    • http://www.2knowmyself.com Farouk

      very interesting question liz,
      i am not asking people to avoid Everything that makes them feel bad but i am only asking them to seek a replacement if possible

      if for example someone hates his job then why not find another one that he likes

      of course in the example you mentioned the person must face that situation even if he doesn’t like it
      thanks for asking this question :)

  • http://www.OptimisticJourney.com Jarrod@ Optimistic Journey

    Hi Farouk,

    Very thought provoking post!

    I love how you mentioned that happiness feels the void of what we’re missing in life. If money is all that I’m missing or if I’m missing certain types of relationships in my life, and those voids are filled, then that will bring happiness. I like that! Great take away value.

    Thanks for sharing!!

    • http://www.2knowmyself.com Farouk

      I am really happy that you liked it Jarrod , keep in touch bro :)

  • Tushar

    The best self development article I have ever read…

    • http://www.2knowmyself.com Farouk

      i am really honored with your comment Tushar, you made my day, thank you so much:)))

  • Joe G.

    That article really hit home with me. People say that you must find your happiness within. No everyone ever says how to do it though. What you said about “unmet” needs is what its about. I think its those unmet needs that tend to drive us as well, especially once we get a taste of what ever it is. I have been most happiest when in a relationship, nothing beats sharing my life with someone. Love is the source of my strength and happiness, love of others, love of travel, love of myself. Thank you for reminding us what really makes “us” happy.

    Joe

    • http://www.2knowmyself.com Farouk

      You are most welcomed Joe :)
      and now after you knew what makes you happy the only thing remaining is to fight for it and get it, good luck dear:)

  • http://wendellreviews.com Wendell Wilkins

    Farouk,

    This is a very inspring article. I think one of the major points here is that one must be proactive in regard to finding their happiness. Do something about fostering your happiness.

    • http://www.2knowmyself.com Farouk

      exactly Wendell, you got the point
      thanks for your comment and gentle words:)

  • http://www.peppervirtualassistant.com/ Noemi PJ

    Farouk, I like the term “unmet needs”. Happiness as a subject would usually bring about polarized views — those who think happiness can only be attained through spirituality and those who think material things can give them the happiness they are looking for. I believe both are true and it is important to fulfill both our spiritual and material needs — our UNMET NEEDS — to be happy. Maybe Maslow’s hierarchy of needs could help guide us in identifying our unmet needs that will bring us true happiness?

    • http://www.2knowmyself.com Farouk

      Yes Noemi,
      its all about finding what makes you tick
      Maslov’s hierarchy is great for explaining the concept but later on it was criticized for being too generalized, a person needs to find his own hierarchy in order to feel happy
      thanks for your comment :)

  • Karl

    Why did you write hungry as “Hungary” twice? some kind of inside joke for one of your readers?

    • http://www.2knowmyself.com Farouk

      oh , will fix that, that’s the problem with being over productive, u sometimes make typos

  • NETY BANR

    GOOD …..YOU DEFINE IT WELL..REMEMBER UNMET NEEDS NOT WANTS..

  • http://www.selfesteemaffirmations.com Kc

    I’ve always been a supporter of positive thinking and understand that there is a very real connection with the law of attraction. It is only once we have let go of the negative influences that we can truly draw strength from the positives. I like your thinking and the way you have shared it with us.Self Esteem Affirmations

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