Comments on: Do You Talk Too Much?

By: very true

very true — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 05:00:57 +0000

Recently I’ve been getting into trouble with my loud mouth as well. I have a tendancy to think before I talk and I’ve had a few close friends step me aside to inform me of my social problems. Changing is the hard part though as old habits die hard. I’m bookmarking this webpage and keeping and index card with the part about talking having to offer something to your listeners in my pocket at all times. Thanks for the insight!

By: burned by talking

burned by talking — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 17:54:02 +0000

I am a talker. I’ve not always been a talker, but I found as I grew older that I was talking more. As I gained experiences, it seemed that I could associate anyone’s topic with an experience and in my mind I would think “I’m letting them know that I can relate to their story”. Well, I’ve been burned. My talking has gotten me into more trouble than I can even stand.

I was extremely excited about a new job opportunity that would take advantage of my experiences, education and goals. Well my excitement grew so much that this new opportunity was all I could think of. Needless to say if you have a subject on your mind 24/7, and your a talker, you get into big trouble. I expressed my excitement to anyone who would listen and that was my demise. I was fired from the job where I was talking and did not get the job I was so excited for.

I’m posting not to get sympathy at all. I’m posting to share my negative experience with others and remind myself, stop talking. Especially if your obcessing over something in your head and it won’t leave you alone. Just ignore your constant thoughts and shut up – easier said than done. Wish – oh do I wish – that I had shut up.

By: samatha

samatha — Sat, 11 Oct 2008 00:18:06 +0000

sometimes these very generalized bits about people’s behavior are frustrating. I am a quiet person, always have been since I was a toddler. Yet everyone around me wants to talk and talk, I listen more than talk. I don’t talk much about myself as I already know my stories and am not motivated to repeat them, unless they are necessary. I find that most people repeat the same stuff over and over and the longer I know them the more I hear the same stuff. I am not SHY or WITHDRAWN, I teach , do public speaking and train new management employees. I will talk to most anyone, even people most others run away from, but all this talking and usually saying nothing is exhausting. Silence can be a good thing and not talking has it’s merits also. I have learned more about people from what they Don’t say, than from what is said. Lately it seems that people will say and tell you anything, I hear much more when I listen and refrain from jabbering. I find most talk to be distracting from the honest messages we send to each other.

By: RaAr

RaAr — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 06:03:27 +0000

Talking too much is bad, in anything too much is bad, so we have to avoid doing anything too much. Wherever necessary we have to talk & when we feel that its not necessary us to say anything than we should not talk. Talking if it creats agruments than try to avoid talking, try to speak which other person intrested not what you intrested because other are intrested in their. Talking to be as confident else it will create wrong impression on other that this matter may not be true.

By: Sara

Sara — Sun, 22 Jun 2008 23:06:08 +0000

I almost had a breakdown when I lived with someone who embodied a few of these. The worst would be watching TV. I counted one night. She was averaging about 15 negative comments for every positive one. “She’s fat.” “She should *not* be wearing that.” “What was he thinking.” “That looks stupid.” It made me very aware of what I said, and to be honest, it wasn’t always pretty.

By: Flora Morris Brown, Ph.D.

Flora Morris Brown, Ph.D. — Sat, 21 Jun 2008 22:14:56 +0000

In the early years of my marriage I always talked too much when we went to social events. When we’d return home my husband, the listener, would tell me so many things of interest about many of the people there.

When I ask him how he learned so much he’d say, “It’s because I listen. You talk.”

I soon learned that if I listened to others–really listened–not only did I learn a lot, but they always experienced our time together as a good time.

Don’t get me wrong, I still add to the conversation, but now it’s relevant, informing and entertaining.

By: Avani-Mehta

Avani-Mehta — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 19:11:04 +0000

People also talk a lot when a subject they are passionate about gets initiated. If the other person is equally interested, great. If not, they tune out.

By: ShaunMac

ShaunMac — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 19:00:19 +0000

This was a great post. As always, you’re advice is great and straight to the point. I particularly enjoyed the Shyness part. I’m experiencing shyness with someone at work so thanks, man!

By: Julia

Julia — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 15:31:28 +0000

I fall into the “talking too little” camp. I’ve been working on overcoming my shyness and I’ve enjoyed the posts I’ve found here on the topic.

I agree on the talking too much point. Getting my morning coffee has become a covert mission at the office. If my presence is detected, a colleague of mine traps me and I wind up listening to a play-by-play weekend recap, and (of course) I’m too shy to weasel my way out.

Great post. Thanks.

By: Shanel Yang

Shanel Yang — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 11:03:53 +0000

Thank you for this useful, insightful post! I agree that clear, honest communication is best. I write about how to do it in my articles: “4 Signs that a Marriage Will End in Divorce”; “Easy Anger Management”; and my series “High-Maintenance Relationships.”

When people communicate ineffectively, such as excessive gossiping, criticizing, complaining, or even agreeing, they not only annoy every around them, they also hurt their own chances of happiness and success with all the people in their lives, hence their careers, wealth, and health, too.