Comments on: 5 Survival Tips for Difficult Conversations http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/difficult-conversations/ Fri, 19 Mar 2010 16:40:56 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: kare anderson http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/difficult-conversations/comment-page-1/#comment-70260 kare anderson Mon, 22 Dec 2008 00:24:27 +0000 http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/difficult-conversations/#comment-70260 Problems seldom exist at the level at which they are expressed. Tip: Act as if the other person has your best interests at heart. You are more likely to prove yourself right. The opposite is also true. Know that, in fractious situations we instinctively expect others to treat us as if we have good intentions. (Innocent until proven guilty.) Yet, wired as we are to survive, we often are slower to trust others’ intentions until we get proof. (Guilty until proven innocent.) I recommended Sheila's book here http://www.movingfrommetowe.com/2008/12/15/we-will-not-fight-this-holiday/ Problems seldom exist at the level at which they are expressed.

Tip: Act as if the other person has your best interests at heart.

You are more likely to prove yourself right. The opposite is also true. Know that, in fractious situations we instinctively expect others to treat us as if we have good intentions. (Innocent until proven guilty.) Yet, wired as we are to survive, we often are slower to trust others’ intentions until we get proof. (Guilty until proven innocent.)
I recommended Sheila’s book here
http://www.movingfrommetowe.com/2008/12/15/we-will-not-fight-this-holiday/

]]> By: Improving the Quality of your personal life | Self Help Station http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/difficult-conversations/comment-page-1/#comment-53864 Improving the Quality of your personal life | Self Help Station Sun, 13 Apr 2008 06:43:50 +0000 http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/difficult-conversations/#comment-53864 [...] walking talk, about what is supposed to happen tomorrow; will it rain or snow. The news makes a good conversation when talking to other [...] [...] walking talk, about what is supposed to happen tomorrow; will it rain or snow. The news makes a good conversation when talking to other [...]

]]> By: Alice http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/difficult-conversations/comment-page-1/#comment-43690 Alice Fri, 14 Dec 2007 02:54:16 +0000 http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/difficult-conversations/#comment-43690 Good topic! Another important aspect that I like to add is that many times we thought the communication is the issue but it really isn't. The real issue is lack of trust! Until we realize what the real issue is and finding ways to re-establish the trust first, no matter how hard we tried to communicate, our intention may never get through! I actually just wrote an article on my website www.besttrainings.com detail how I discover this insight recently and how my boyfriend and I worked through a particular trust issue we've had. Feel free to check it out! Alice Good topic! Another important aspect that I like to add is that many times we thought the communication is the issue but it really isn’t. The real issue is lack of trust! Until we realize what the real issue is and finding ways to re-establish the trust first, no matter how hard we tried to communicate, our intention may never get through!

I actually just wrote an article on my website http://www.besttrainings.com detail how I discover this insight recently and how my boyfriend and I worked through a particular trust issue we’ve had. Feel free to check it out!

Alice

]]> By: Roadmap to Riches http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/difficult-conversations/comment-page-1/#comment-43496 Roadmap to Riches Tue, 11 Dec 2007 16:29:52 +0000 http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/difficult-conversations/#comment-43496 great post! sometimes ego can get in the way -Jeff www.r2rprofits.com great post! sometimes ego can get in the way

-Jeff
http://www.r2rprofits.com

]]> By: EduLinks - Presentations, Conversations, Reinventions « TheUniversityBlog http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/difficult-conversations/comment-page-1/#comment-36740 EduLinks - Presentations, Conversations, Reinventions « TheUniversityBlog Tue, 27 Nov 2007 11:49:29 +0000 http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/difficult-conversations/#comment-36740 [...] 5. PickTheBrain - 5 Survival Tips for Difficult Conversations [...] [...] 5. PickTheBrain – 5 Survival Tips for Difficult Conversations [...]

]]> By: Abraham http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/difficult-conversations/comment-page-1/#comment-35730 Abraham Sun, 25 Nov 2007 16:27:08 +0000 http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/difficult-conversations/#comment-35730 Hi Mastering effective communication determines how much we earn. Your site is a great contribution to others. I think some visualization of who we are going to speak before we start can improve the quality of communication. Visualization of fun, relatedness and a thdesired outcome are what we focus on. Click here for a report http://visualizationforsuccess.com/interview.html Hi
Mastering effective communication determines how much we earn. Your site is a great contribution to others. I think some visualization of who we are going to speak before we start can improve the quality of communication. Visualization of fun, relatedness and a thdesired outcome are what we focus on. Click here for a report http://visualizationforsuccess.com/interview.html

]]> By: Jacques http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/difficult-conversations/comment-page-1/#comment-33224 Jacques Wed, 21 Nov 2007 11:40:17 +0000 http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/difficult-conversations/#comment-33224 Why not buy 2 Xmas-trees? You buy yours your way, he does it his way. Then, put a decal on each tree (A & B) and have guests and family vote, anonymously, by placing a voting box - of course, they are not allowed to know which tree is yours, to prevent all kind of biased voting (mothers in law etc.). At the end the votes are counted and the looser has to clean up the trees, whereas the winner has to do some other chore. If that is too much, then don't buy a tree at all - good for the environment, good for your wallet, good for the marriage :-) Why not buy 2 Xmas-trees? You buy yours your way, he does it his way.
Then, put a decal on each tree (A & B) and have guests and family vote, anonymously, by placing a voting box – of course, they are not allowed to know which tree is yours, to prevent all kind of biased voting (mothers in law etc.).
At the end the votes are counted and the looser has to clean up the trees, whereas the winner has to do some other chore.
If that is too much, then don’t buy a tree at all – good for the environment, good for your wallet, good for the marriage :-)

]]> By: Eugene (Editor, Varsity Blah) http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/difficult-conversations/comment-page-1/#comment-32392 Eugene (Editor, Varsity Blah) Tue, 20 Nov 2007 17:17:18 +0000 http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/difficult-conversations/#comment-32392 One of the biggest things that works for me when giving criticism is to criticize the behavior and not the person. There's a HUGE difference in telling someone they "did" something wrong (which they can change) as opposed to they "are" something wrong (which I'm guessing they can't). Great post! One of the biggest things that works for me when giving criticism is to criticize the behavior and not the person. There’s a HUGE difference in telling someone they “did” something wrong (which they can change) as opposed to they “are” something wrong (which I’m guessing they can’t). Great post!

]]> By: Jonathan Fields http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/difficult-conversations/comment-page-1/#comment-32105 Jonathan Fields Tue, 20 Nov 2007 12:17:27 +0000 http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/difficult-conversations/#comment-32105 Nice article, a few thoughts... "1. Don't ease-in or be indirect" - Totally agree, in fact, an approach I've learned is to be incredibly direct ans say, "listen, I wanted to speak to you because...," then provide one or two supporting facts that are incontrovertible, letting the mountain of other smaller, but easily debatable supporting events fall to the side, then offer to listen. Also, I noticed the language you used was negative, rather than positive, "Don't" rather than "Do." Being direct, but re-framing to use positive language can change the underlying psychology and receptive of the other person fairly dramatically. Thanks, again, for tthe great article! Nice article, a few thoughts…

“1. Don’t ease-in or be indirect” – Totally agree, in fact, an approach I’ve learned is to be incredibly direct ans say, “listen, I wanted to speak to you because…,” then provide one or two supporting facts that are incontrovertible, letting the mountain of other smaller, but easily debatable supporting events fall to the side, then offer to listen.

Also, I noticed the language you used was negative, rather than positive, “Don’t” rather than “Do.” Being direct, but re-framing to use positive language can change the underlying psychology and receptive of the other person fairly dramatically.

Thanks, again, for tthe great article!

]]> By: Tejvan Pettinger http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/difficult-conversations/comment-page-1/#comment-32082 Tejvan Pettinger Tue, 20 Nov 2007 11:54:44 +0000 http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/difficult-conversations/#comment-32082 Good article. Good just try and smile nicely at various times as well. Good article. Good just try and smile nicely at various times as well.

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