If you’re reading this, there’s a good chance that you have an email account. You may well have several – perhaps separate accounts for professional and personal contacts.

It’s easy to assume that we know how to use email effectively: it’s been around for long enough. But if you find yourself struggling to communicate effectively by email, these six tips should help:

#1: Start With an Appropriate Salutation

Some people jump straight into the text of an email without so much as a “hi”. It’s polite to add a salutation, just as you would with a letter.

That might look like:

Dear Sir/Madam

Dear Mr. Johnson

Hi Sue

Hello Fred

Your salutation needs to be appropriate. If you’re writing to a prospective employer, “Dear Mr. Johnson” is probably the best way to go. “Hi Bob” is going to look unprofessional.

But don’t assume that formality is always the right answer. If you’re writing to a friend of a friend, using “Dear” plus their surname is going to seem oddly stilted.

If in doubt, “Dear [firstname]” will usually work just fine.

#2: Get Straight to the Point

Your correspondent won’t want to wade through paragraphs of waffle – so get straight to the point. If you’re writing to someone out of the blue, don’t give them your life story before you make a request.

Getting straight to the point might mean that the first line of your email (after the salutation) looks something like this:

I’m working on an article about Acme Widgets for XYZ publication, and wondered if you had a few minutes to answer the following three questions.

Could you supply me with a quote for the following project?

I’d like to discuss the revisions with you. Would Tuesday at 2pm be a good time?

I’ve attached the documents you requested at our meeting yesterday.

You may well need to include more details, but if you put the important point up front, your email is more likely to get a timely response. If your question comes too far down, the recipient may not even realise that you need a reply.

#3: Keep it Short

Try to keep your email as short as possible. Make the paragraphs short, too – long paragraphs can be difficult to read and take in.

Do make sure you give enough information for your correspondent to be able to make a decision, if that’s required. You might find that it’s best to offer this as an attachment – you’ll have more flexibility over formatting, and your correspondent can print out the attachment easily.

#4: Use Numbered Points

If you’ve got several questions or points to make, it’s very helpful to number them. This makes it easy for the other person to respond to each one, especially if some just require a yes/no response or a single word answer.

For instance:

Could you let me know:

1. 1. How much it would cost for the website design
2. 2. How much for the website design plus a tri-fold brochure
3. 3. Whether you could complete #2 by the end of April

It’s also useful to list your questions or points as bullets in this way; if you write a single paragraph, some of your questions might get missed.

#5: Re-read and Use Spell-Check

A typo or spelling mistake can turn one word into an entirely different one. If you’re using email in a professional capacity, that mistake could be embarrassing – or even offensive. It might alter the whole meaning of your email: a missing “not”, for instance, could potentially cause problems.

Spell-check should help you avoid any silly mistakes – but use your eyes and brain too. There are plenty of words that spell-check won’t pick up. If you’re emailing from a device with predictive text and an auto-correct feature, make sure you always re-read what you’ve typed.

#6: Make Your Signature Useful

Do you have an email signature? (That’s the text that appears automatically at the bottom of your email.) Some people don’t use one at all; others have a funny quote or favorite saying.

Whether you’re using email for professional or personal reasons, make your signature useful for both you and your recipient. That might mean:

• Giving the link to your website
• Including your work address and/or phone number
• Adding links to your social media accounts
• Putting in a line to promote your recent book / blog / product

If your email provider allows it, you may even want to create several signatures to use for different purposes (e.g. one for emailing friends, one for new business contacts).

Do you have any great tips to add? Or any pet hates that crop up in your inbox? Let us know in the comments…

Fortunately, all fears are learned; no one is born with fears. Fears can therefore be unlearned by practicing self discipline repeatedly with regard to fear until it goes away.

The most common fears that we experience, which often sabotage all hope for success, are the fears of failure, poverty, and loss of money. These fears cause people to avoid risk of any kind and to reject opportunity when it is presented to them. They are so afraid of failure that they are almost paralyzed when it comes to taking any chances at all.

There are many other fears that interfere with our happiness. as well. People fear the loss of love or the loss of their jobs and their financial security. People fear embarrassment or ridicule. People fear rejection and criticism of any kind. People fear the loss of respect or esteem of others. These and many other fears hold us back throughout life.

Fear Paralyzes Action

The most common reaction in a fear situation is the attitude of, “I can’t!” This is the fear of failure and loss that stops us from taking action. It is experienced physically, starting in the solar plexus. When people are really afraid, their mouth and throat go dry, their heart starts pounding. Sometimes they breathe shallowly and their stomach churns. Often they feel like getting up and running to the bathroom.

These are all physical manifestations of the inhibitive negative habit pattern, which we all experience from time to time. Whenever a person is in the grip of fear, he feels like a deer caught in the headlights of a car. This fear paralyzes action. It often shuts down the brain and causes the individual to revert to the “fight-or-flight” reaction.  Fear is a terrible emotion that undermines our happiness and can hold us back throughout our lives.

Visualize Yourself as Unafraid

By visualizing yourself performing with confidence and competence in an area where you are fearful, your visual image will eventually be accepted by your subconscious mind as instructions for your performance. Yourself image, the way you see yourself and think about yourself, is eventually altered by feeding your mind these positive mental pictures of yourself performing at your best.

By using the “act as if” method, you walk, talk, and carry yourself exactly as you would if you were completely unafraid in a particular situation. You stand up straight, smile, move quickly and confidently, and in every respect act as if you already had the courage that you desire.

The Law of Reversibility says that “if you feel a certain way, you will act in a manner consistent with that feeling.”  But if you act in a manner consistent with that feeling, even if you don’t feel it, the Law of Reversibility will create the feeling that is consistent with your actions.

This is one of the greatest breakthroughs in success psychology. You develop the courage you desire by disciplining yourself repeatedly to do the thing you fear until that fear eventually disappears—and it will.

Confront Your Fears

Your ability to confront, deal with, and act in spite of your fears is the key to happiness and success. One of the best exercises you can practice is to identify a person or situation in your life of which you are afraid and resolve to deal with that fear situation immediately. Do not allow it to make you unhappy for another minute. Resolve to confront the situation or person and put the fear behind you.

Move Toward the Fear

When you identify a fear and discipline yourself to move toward it, it grows smaller and more manageable. What’s more, as your fears grow smaller, your confidence grows.  Soon, your fears lose their control over you.

In contrast, when you back away from a fear-inducing situation or person, your fear grows larger and larger.  Soon it dominates your thinking and feeling, preoccupies you during the day, and often keeps you awake at night.

Deal With the Fear Directly

The only way to deal with a fear is to address it head-on. Remind yourself that “denial” is not a river in Egypt. The natural tendency of many people is to deny that they have a problem caused by fear of some kind.  They’re afraid of confronting it. In turn, it becomes a major source of stress, unhappiness, and psychosomatic illness.

Be willing to deal with the situation or person directly.  As Shakespeare said, “Take arms against a sea of troubles, and in so doing, end them.”

When you force yourself to face any fear-inducing situation in your life, your self-esteem goes up, your self-respect increases, and your sense of personal pride grows. You eventually reach the point in life where you are not afraid of anything.

Important Note From Erin, Editor of PickTheBrain

If you have any burning questions for Brian about fear you should join our 2011 Power Of Fear Summit to ask him personally on our live Q/A at the end of the video online session. If you’d like to talk to Brian and 11 other world class experts like Les Brown, Rhonda Britten and Greg Reid, then please register asap – it’s filling up fast (we’re excited!) Just click here to grab your seat:  http://pickthebrain.com/blog/poweroffearsignup/

About the Author: Brian Tracy is one of America’s most respected authorities on developing organizational and human potential.  He is the top selling author of over 50 books that have been translated into dozens of languages. His insights in to leadership, personal effectiveness, business strategy, and success psychology, which he presents to more than half a million people around the world each year in his talks and seminars, produce immediate changes and long-term results. His experience, combined with his effective ability to inform, entertain, inspire and motivate audiences, makes him one of the top speakers and trainers in the world today.

Brian Tracy is Chairman and CEO of Brian Tracy International, a company specializing in the training and development of individuals and organizations. For more information, please visit: http://www.briantracy.com

One of the most common techniques used for building self esteem is the use of affirmations. Affirmations are things you tell yourself on a regular basis to “affirm” your personal strength, beauty and value. Affirmations are great, but unless there is a real belief in what the words represent, they will do nothing for your true self esteem. To get at your true self esteem, you must dig a bit deeper; and for this purpose I recommend writing about your life.

The Brain Dump and Building Self Esteem

Ever since I started “brain dumping”, I became a big believer in its power. A brain dump is simply a process used to get all of your thoughts out of your head. The goal is to bring out all of your conscious and subconscious worries, fears, and doubts so that they do not eat away at you over the course of your day.

Each little morsel of your brain is valuable real estate. Part of your brain holds the knowledge you will use to solve problems. Part of your brain holds thoughts and feelings of happiness and excitement. Part of your brain holds your potential for creativity.

The more space in your brain that is taken up by worry, doubt, frustration, sadness, etc.; the less space you will have available for positive thoughts. This is where the brain dump becomes important.

To achieve a successful brain dump all you have to do is get out a pen and notebook and start writing. Just keep writing until you are finished. I like to write for at least 20 minutes, but sometimes it takes longer to get out all the mind-sapping troubles.

If you have a problem in the forefront of you mind, start writing about it. Keep the pen moving until you have gotten all of your thoughts out on paper. Write whatever is on your mind, no matter how ridiculous or pointless it may seem. You are not going to be graded on this. No one will ever read it. You won’t even read it. It’s simply a matter of getting your thoughts out of your head.

Once they are out of your head, you will have freed up some valuable real estate to begin building positive thoughts.

Building Self Esteem Post-Brain Dump

Now that your brain is dumped, you are primed to begin building self esteem. This is where your affirmations will be more useful. But I’m going to take the idea of an affirmation a step further. I want you to take a few affirmations and write about them as a part of your life. Do this immediately after your brain dump.

Here is an example of such an exercise:

Affirmation: I have the power to be happy.

I have the power to be happy. I have the ability to allow myself to be happy. I understand that my negative thoughts, worries, and fears have no power over me. I realize that at any time I can flip these negative thoughts and emotions into positive ones. I see the world in a unique way, a way in which no one else can see it. This tells me that I have the power to control the way in which I view things. This power includes the power to allow myself to be happy even when things aren’t going perfectly around me. Today, the weather isn’t so nice. It’s raining outside, but that doesn’t have to stop me from being happy. I have a lot of work to do today. This gives me an opportunity to create great things, so I will put my full self into my work. I may be all alone right now, but that will not last forever. There are a lot of people in this world that care about me, some of whom I may not even know right now. I will go out and find these people. And when I do, I have the power to be happy with them.

Do you see how I expanded upon a simple affirmation and made it personal? I then took some examples of things that may normally challenge this affirmation and displayed for myself the power of the affirmation when it is utilized. This fosters belief. This builds power.

This builds a true, free-willed self esteem.

Belief in Self Esteem

Once you’ve accessed your true self esteem, it becomes time to utilize it. The utilization of true self esteem is a belief in your power. Once you believe in your power, you will walk through life glowing with a real aura of self esteem and self confidence.

Remember, self esteem is not dependent on outward things or other people. Self esteem is dependent upon the way you view your life. You have the power to view your life in a positive way. This power is a gift. Give this gift a try and you will begin to want to use it more and more.

Self esteem and self confidence go hand-in-hand. They are both a matter of belief and trust in your power and ability, and they are a realization of your beauty as a unique and special person. Make good use of these powers and you will experience a great life.

Matt Maresca is a writer, entertainer, and motivator. His goal is to help others experience life for all its great potential. On his website and blog at MyLifeMotivation.com, you will find self improvement advice, including topics such as building self esteem and self confidence.

Related Posts:

10 Ways To Discover Your Creativity

Do you enjoy writing – or dread it?

I write for a living, and I also coach writers and would-be writers, so I know just how tough it can be to get up the motivation and the courage to write.

But in almost every job, you’re going to have to do some writing. You might also want to write for personal reasons: perhaps you’d like to write your memoir for your grandchildren, or you’re keen to write fiction or a blog.

How can you make writing seem less terrifying – and more fun?

#1: Write About What’s On Your Mind

This is something which I still do from time to time, even though writing’s usually pretty effortless for me – and I know a lot of other people find it useful too.

Write for ten minutes without stopping (set a timer) about any topic you like. You could write about your day, your worries, your workload … anything. You don’t even need to write in whole sentences. The idea is just to get the words flowing: get used to typing onto a blank page and filling it with your thoughts.

No one will ever see these getting-going pieces that you write. You can delete them if you like, or you can save them so you can look back at them in future.

#2: Try a Writing Challenge

Writing can seem like a big, serious thing to do. It doesn’t need to be that way at all – in fact, writing is an act of creativity and it can be a lot of fun.

If you’re looking for a way into writing, try out a writing challenge which gives you a prompt of some sort. You could give Creative Copy Challenge a go – the idea is to create a short, coherent piece by using all the words supplied, and you can make it as crazy as you want!

#3: Come Up With Ideas Separately

One of the biggest struggles that I hear from the writers I coach is getting started. Often, they end up staring at a blank page for ages, because they’re not sure what to write about. I know just how daunting this can be … but thankfully, it’s also pretty easy to fix.

Instead of sitting down and trying to come up with something to write about, make sure you’ve already got a stock of ideas. You can jot these in a notebook whenever you think of them, or even set aside time to deliberately come up with a list of ideas to write about – challenge yourself to get to 50, and don’t worry whether they’re “good” or “bad”.

#4: Write an Outline First

Even if you’ve got an idea, it can be really tough to write the first few words (and I often advise struggling writers to work on their introduction last). Instead of trying to fill a blank page from top to bottom, write an outline first. It doesn’t need to be in depth – it just needs to give you a framework to hang your writing from.

Your outline might be as simple as:

• A few notes about what needs to happen in this scene of your novel
• Five bullet points which you want to cover in an email to your boss
• Several subheadings for your latest blog post

I like to write my outline into the document which I’m using for the piece itself: that way, the screen’s no longer looking so scary and blank!

#5: Don’t Worry About Your First Draft

When you’re writing, you’ll find that your words rarely come out perfectly the first time. This isn’t because you’re a bad writer – even experienced professionals often go through many drafts. The whole point of a first draft is to get your ideas down onto the page, however imperfectly, so that you’ve got something to work with for the second draft.

No-one ever needs to see your first draft, so don’t censor yourself while you’re writing it. If you find yourself thinking this sentence is convoluted or that’s such a cliché or that’s not quite the word I want, just carry on. You can fix it in the next version.

#6: Experiment With Different Styles

Finally, don’t be afraid to try something new. It often takes a while for newer writers to find their voice (it took me years), so don’t get stuck in writing in just one way.

Trying out different styles could mean:

• Writing something very casual and conversational – this works particularly well for blogging, but could also be great for a first-person novel or even a poem
• Write in a journalistic way – concise and factual
• Write something with lots of grand imagery and metaphor
• Bring more humor to your writing
• Try creating a piece in a similar style to a writer with a distinctive voice

You might later decide that this really isn’t your style, but it’s a great exercise for your writing muscles to try it out.

Do you love writing, or hate it? What are your biggest writing struggles (or triumphs)? Let us know in the comments…

Don’t forget to follow PickTheBrain on Twitter!

Related Articles:

Finding Bliss: How to Reverse Engineer Happiness

The 6 Components of a Happy Life

Maintaining a blog full-time can be a bit stressful, and this stress can sometimes have a restricting effect on your writing. There’s the pressure to produce top content every time you write; there’s the pressure of appealing to your audience; there’s the pressure of always having an opinion or keeping up with industry news.

So, what better way to build up your ability to continue writing every day than to do writing exercises every day! Here are a few ideas for exercises; some of them might not directly relate to what you blog about, but you’d be surprised how simply engaging in the act of writing about anything can be enough to help you write about something later on. If you have more ideas, please feel free to add them in the comments section below.

Dream Journal

One exercise you can follow daily is to keep a dream journal. As soon as you awaken in the morning, spend a few minutes writing about whatever dreams you had last night. Do not try ot make sense of them; simply try to describe them or narrate them as best you can. This writing act will be helpful for clearing your head in the morning, especially if you have to get some serious writing done later in the day. Who knows? Maybe one of those entries could turn into a longer essay in a few weeks when you reread the journal.

Google Image Prompt

Another thing you can try is to keyword search in Google the most popular phrase of the day, or a phrase or word that you cannot get out of your head. Then click on the ‘images’ tab and look at the first image that comes up. You have to write a short story under 1,000 words about or inspired by that image!

Five Minute Blind Write

I like this exercise a lot because it allows me to be messy. Open up your word processor, set your cooking timer to five minutes, and turn off your computer screen. If you have a laptop, cover up the monitor with a thick piece of paper. You have five minutes to write nonstop about whatever. Your fingers must not stop moving, no matter what, even if you’re typing one word over and over again. The idea of this exercise is to dump ever single idea from your brain into a document. Think of it as a way to both clean out your brain and also gather a bunch of ideas for later use.

Comment Box Essay

This exercise is a bit more focused than the others in that it requires you to go to one of your favorite blogs, read the feature article, and write a comment in the comment thread. But, you’re not allowed to post the comment. Instead, you must copy and paste it into your own blog and turn it into a feature length post in response to the original post at the other blog. The idea here is that by changing the context of your writing from the limited field of a comment box, you can find new ways of approaching an issue. Be sure to link back to the original post in order to further enhance the discussion.

Sticky Note Memory

This could be a very fun exercise because it forces you to write an entire story on a tiny sticky note. In fact, it’s sort of the same thing as Esquire‘s Napkin Project. Sticky notes are supposed to be used as reminders, as notes to ourselves that we have something to take care of. But what if you used it to tell a story about a cherish memory? Your own sticky note project could be a daily exercise that requires you to catalogue one memory from your past each day. This self-reflection could help you both become a better, more self-aware person while also giving you ideas for personal essays to write in the future.

Mariana Ashley is a freelance writer who particularly enjoys writing about online colleges. She loves receiving reader feedback, which can be directed to mariana.ashley031@gmail.com.

When you’re nine years old, Aunt Jessie presses her powdered face to yours and whispers, “Now don’t you ever tell anyone what you saw. Your mother would just die.”

This is a scary thing to a child—to be entrusted with a secret that has so much power if could kill someone. Aunt Jessie probably didn’t mean to scare you like that, but words have power. Silence in the face of wrong has power. And when we begin to write our memoirs, we can get caught up in the webs of the past. Sometimes these webs are so tangled that we stop writing.

Memoirists struggle with the issue of revealing secrets as they search how to tell their own powerful, and sometimes shameful, truths. Secrets maintain a great power over us, and we are diminished by them. We become co-conspirators to the family dynamics that we don’t agree with and want to break away from. So we get caught in a conflict—to speak or not to speak. To remain closed and complicit, or to open up and take the risk of losing friends and family or shamed once again into submission. These conflicts haunt people all their lives, solidifying the silence. The way out of being trapped in the past is to write our own truths, but first it helps to get clear about the program that lives in our head.

Did you grow up with these rules?

• The truth is always best
• Honesty is the best policy
• Lying is terrible and you’ll be punished

How about these?

• Don’t you dare tell anyone I told you that
• This is a secret you’ll carry to your grave
• If you tell anyone, you’ll go to hell

Are these comments familiar?

• Don’t air the family laundry
• Family business stays behind closed doors
• You have quite an imagination

How confusing! And you want to write a memoir?

Let’s look at some suggestions for how to manage confusion about truth and secrets. First, you need to claim your own truths. Your story is about you—told from your point of view. Your experiences belong to you, and are unique to you, and you have a right to claim them, even if others disagree. Everyone has a unique point of view about events, as each person perceives the world through different eyes. I have known writers, including myself, who got confused about what to write because they were so worried about what others would say and would think about them. Issues of shame and guilt about what they did or who they were, along with potential judgments by others, got in the way of writing. So if you feel shame or guilt, writing can help you to resolve those feelings. I suggest this: write down your memories honestly as you remember them, and share them with no one else while you are in the process of discovery/recovery about the past.

Next, as the voices of your family play tennis in your head—perhaps spouting some of the phrases listed above, write down each one and then answer it back. If the voice says, “That never happened,” write next to it: “This is how I remember it. I claim my own memories.” If it says, “Don’t you dare write those secrets,” say: “I’m writing down what my truth is, I’m doing it for myself right now.”

When we write our truths, we “disobey” the old rules we learned so long ago, and create freedom for who we are now and allow our voice to be heard.

Then and Now

When we write memoir, we become time travelers, stitching back and forth between the narrator author of present time to the child or younger person that we once were.

This back and forth conversation is part of the healing process of writing a memoir, as it helps to integrate past and present. When we sort through memories and come to terms with them, we create new neural pathways. Bringing a new perspective and freedom to our identity and self-expression is freeing and ultimately healing.

Through this process, we create a relationship with ourselves as we both the narrator of the story and the character—the “I” voice in the story. This dual consciousness is part of the healing process, as the narrator helps us to develop a perspective on what happened, and the character “I” gets inside who we were then. When we write in scene, we take a small hypnotic trip to the past and live in our own skin for a while, then come back out to “now.” The process of writing and telling stories, especially if they are shared helps to heal and to change our perceptions of who we were and who we are now.

I tell all my students to be open to writing two versions of the story: first, write for yourself, to clear out your emotional closet, to sort the events that are jumbled up in your mind. Research has shown that this kind of writing is powerful and creates changes in the brain—in other words: it’s healing.
Write your whole first draft in silence, in secret, so that you can finally hear your own voice. Don’t tell anyone you are writing it, and only share it with your supportive writing group or your therapist.

Tips on secrets and truths

1. Protect yourself and your writing by creating a safe, sacred space where you can explore your story and write what you experienced without censure.
2. Write quickly and freely, sometimes called a “freewrite” to flush out your story without the editor or critic in your head having a chance to interfere
3. Don’t delete anything you write. Sometimes the inner critic attacks us after we write, and we are tempted to erase everything.
4. Think of a secret as an infected wound that needs to be drained and opened to healing light and air.
5. Make lists of your dark and light stories. You don’t have to write them until you are ready.
6. Interleaf the “dark” and “light” stories in your life so you don’t get traumatized by dark or painful stories.
7. Keep track of your inner critic’s comments on a separate sheet of paper. Putting the critic on the page and responding to it with positive affirmations defangs it and frees you to write more.
8. A memoir is written in layers. As we explore one layer of memory and experience, others are revealed.
9. Be patient with the process of writing, layering, revealing, and reflecting.

10.  Be brave—write your story!

Linda Joy Myers, Ph.D., MFT, is the President and founder of the National Association of Memoir Writers, and the prize-winning author of The Power of Memoir and Don’t Call Me Mother, along with numerous fiction, poetry, and nonfiction awards. www.namw.org.

The Power of Memoir is available at www.amazon.com or any bookstore.

Don’t Forget To Follow PickTheBrain on Twitter!

Related Articles:

10 Tips From The Masters

How To Write Faster, Better, Easier

I’m a professional writer. I work for blogs and the occasional magazine, and in the past I’ve written for clients who wanted website copy. My fiction has also been published, including a couple of competition prizes. Small successes, perhaps; but even these wouldn’t have happened without a strong level of writing confidence.

Since I write for a number of blogs, I often get questions from would-be writers. Something which crops up frequently is a lack of confidence. Many (surprisingly good) writers never send pieces to an editor, or agonise over every post they write on their own blog.

It doesn’t need to be that way. Good writing isn’t the preserve of a few lucky individuals – after all, none of us were born able to write! And, in the 21^st century, many stifling grammatical “rules” no longer apply. You’re free to write in your own voice and your own style … and you can enjoy it. Here’s how:

Treat Writing As a Skill

Now, I’ll admit that some people do seem to be natural-born writers, just as others have an innate talent for music or art. Writing is a skill, however – one that can be learnt. This could include

• The technicalities of writing (like where to put a comma and how to ensure subject-verb agreement). If your grasp of grammar is shaky, there are lots of books that can help.
• Writing style and fluidity. An evening class or a correspondence course, where you get feedback from a tutor, can help you to develop stylistically.
• Voice and purpose. One of the most important things to learn in writing is how to tailor a piece to an audience. This means learning how to write in different tones, from chatty to professional to motivational.

Good writers spend time learning and honing their craft, which gives them true confidence – because they know their skills are up to scratch.

Practice Regularly

If you’ve ever learnt to play an instrument, or studied a foreign language, you’ll know how important it is to practice. Even if your first attempts are faltering, you quickly get better. It’s just the same with writing: the more you write, the better you’ll become.

Writing practice could include:

• Exercises or “writing prompts” to help you get into the flow of writing regularly
• Trying out different styles, voices and tones in your writing
• Publishing pieces on a blog or forum
• Entering writing competitions (these are usually, though not exclusively, for fiction and poetry)
• Don’t be put off if your first attempts aren’t all you hoped – and don’t compare yourself to people who’ve been writing for years. Charlie Gilkey has a great post on Productive Flourishing showing how several excellent bloggers have developed confidence and flair as writers: Becoming Yourself and Growing Your Blog.

Try Using a Template

Many writers lack confidence because they’re not sure how to structure a piece. Starting at a blank page, wondering where and how to start, is unlikely to improve your spirits!

I often use a template when I write. This is usually something very simple: when I write reviews, for instance, I follow a simple structure with several subheadings so that each review has a consistent look and feel. If you adopt a similar practice for articles, essays, reports, blog posts and even emails, it’s a big confidence-booster as it reassures you that you’ve not left anything out.

So where do you find templates? I like to make my own, but you could also find an article, blog post or even a short story that you’ve enjoyed, and work out the structure – then create something which is structured in the same way. For example, you could use this post to make a very simple template:

Title

Introduction

Subheading for point one

Content for point one

Subheading for point two

Content for point two

…

Subheading for point seven

Content for point seven

Concluding line with call to action

Your First Draft Can Be Rubbish

Almost every professional writer will admit (if only secretly) that their first drafts aren’t exactly great. Earnest Hemmingway famously said:

The first draft of anything is crap.

Remember that no-one ever needs to see your first draft. If you write the dullest article in the world, if your blog post is full of typos or if it contains way too much personal information, if your short story has a paper-thin plot and ridiculous dialogue … no-one will ever know.

When you’re drafting, put away your fears of what other people will think, and just write. When I’m writing fiction, my first draft is always a very poor shadow of what I hope the finished product will be: but the point is just to get the story down. Many fiction writers work in a similar way, redrafting extensively:

Once I’ve got the first draft down on paper then I do five or six more drafts, the last two of      which will be polishing drafts. The ones in between will flesh out the characters and maybe I’ll check my research. (Colleen McCullough)

Write Quickly

If you write slowly and carefully, pondering each sentence, then you’re likely to have a crisis of confidence part-way through. Many professional writers draft astonishingly quickly: I have a tutor at my college who confesses that even basic punctuation can get left out in his rush to get draft material onto the page.

Bloggers, journalists (and ex-journalists) are often very speedy writers, used to the pressure of very tight deadlines. Leo Babauta of Zen Habits, explained on Write to Done that:

These days, I post to four different blogs without it taking large chunks of my life away: Zen     Habits, Write To Done, mnmlist.com and now Zen Family Habits. If I allowed perfection and a million other obstacles to get in my way, I’d never be able to get my ideas out there.

(Frictionless blogging: Remove the barriers to publishing)

In many cases, you’ll want to go back and do some editing – but try to make the first draft as seamless and fast as possible. Writing several pages, even if they’re not quite perfect, can be great for your confidence, as it gives you a deserved sense of accomplishment!

Are you a confident writer – or do you find yourself feeling anxious about writing? Have any tips worked well for you? What secrets would you add to this list?

Don’t Forget To Follow PickTheBrain on Twitter!

Related Articles:

10 Tips From The Masters

How To Write Faster, Better, Easier

Before I began to write, I didn’t fully understand the effects of the past on the present.  Instead, for years, the past appeared in my mind’s eye like faded black-and-white photographs, in which no one, especially me, seemed to be fully alive.

Growing up, I lived a double life.  On the face of it, we seemed like a normal, happy family:  My father had an important career.  We lived in nice houses and wore pretty clothes.  But all this seeming perfection was a veneer, masking the reality that my father sexually molested me, a reality never spoken aloud.

Later, as an adult, I continued to live a double life: this time as a sex addict.  Again, in public, I appeared normal, with a seemingly good marriage.  No one knew that the shiny façade hid dark secrets: I cheated on my husband.

Then I started putting words on the page.  Finally, I chose to examine my past.

In Fearless  Confessions: a Writer’s Guide to Memoir, I encourage you, and you, and you, to explore, through writing, your life, as well.  Whether your childhood was traumatic or not, whether your current life is in disarray, chances are you do have a story to tell.  Whether, say, you’re figuring out a divorce, taking notes about a recent illness, exploring the disruption caused by a parent in the military, or worrying about a visit with an estranged mother, we write memoir to better understand ourselves, as well as to bring a reader with us on our journeys.

Here are five reasons why your life will be improved by writing a memoir, by telling your own story:

One:  Memoir Helps You Understand the Past

I gain much clearer insights about my past when I write, then if I simply sit around thinking about it, in the abstract.  What was the relationship between the sex addiction and being molested by my father?  How did the past cause such emotional devastation?  I discovered the answers to these important questions through the written word.

Writing is a way to interact with—and interpret—the past.  It helps us make sense of events, whether they are traumatic, joyful, or maybe just confusing.  Writing sharpens our senses so that images and details from the past emerge in a new context, one that illuminates events for ourselves as well as for our readers.

Two:  Memoir Organizes Your Life

Just living my life day by day, I never stop long enough to question events.  There’re errands to run, meals to cook—to say nothing of emotional clutter!  Who has time to stop and think about events swirling around us?

Only when I put my everyday life on hold, so to speak, sit down at my computer and write, can I even begin to see a pattern to the rush-and-tumble of life.

Memoir writing, gathering words onto pieces of paper or on a computer, helps us shape our lives.  By discovering plot, arc, theme, and metaphor, we give our lives an organization, a frame, which they would not otherwise have.  Memoir creates a narrative, a life story.

Three:  Memoir Helps You Discover Your Life Force

Before I wrote, while I kept secrets, I didn’t feel as if I were really living my life.  I didn’t have a clear grasp as to who I was.  What, and who, was the essence of “me”?  There are thousands of other incest survivors.  How was my story different?

When writing, if I forge even one good sentence on any given day, I have discovered a kernel of emotional truth.  I feel that life force of “me,” as if it’s my pulse.  To write is to give birth to a more complete self.

There is only one of you.  Your voice is unique.  If you don’t express yourself, if you don’t fully explore who you are, that essence of you will be lost.

Four:  Memoir Helps Others to Heal

One thing I most love about writing memoir, is that it affords me the opportunity to meet many courageous people, still struggling.

For example, after I completed a reading at a library in Athens, Georgia, one woman waited until everyone else had departed.  Approaching me, she was so scared she began to cry.  She confided that I was the first person she’d told that her father had molested her.  She was too traumatized even to tell a therapist.  Why did she confide in me, trust me?  Simply because I had written my story.  Through this meeting, both of us were empowered.

Five:  Confessing, through Memoir, is Good for the Soul

Telling family secrets—any intimate secret—can be scary.  Finally, however, I reached a place where not telling the secrets was worse.  I felt heavy, weighted down.  Finally, then, it was more a relief to write my life, then ignore it.  So even though at times I felt scared or uncomfortable, I ultimately felt a sense of release and power.

In short, with every word the pain lessened.  It was as if I extracted it, one word at a time.

As you challenge yourself, you’ll feel more courageous every day. Writing memoir energizes your psyche, nourishes your soul.

Sue William Silverman is a Guest Blogger for PickTheBrain.  memoir, Love Sick: One Woman’s Journey through Sexual Addiction (Norton), is also a Lifetime TV movie.  Her first memoir, Because I Remember Terror, Father, I Remember You, won the AWP award in creative nonfiction.  She teaches at the Vermont College of Fine Arts and has appeared on such programs as The View and Anderson Cooper – 360.  Her most recent book is Fearless Confessions: A Writer’s Guide to Memoir.  Please visit www.suewilliamsilverman.com.

Don’t Forget To Follow PickTheBrain on Twitter!

Related Articles:

How To Stop Your Thoughts From Making You Depressed

The Six Components of a Happy Life

Image courtesy of Hacksomia

Ahh, motivation hacks!

If you’re anything like me, you have tried dozens of motivation hacks in your life, with varying degrees of success. (Ever tried the one of spinning a dead cat around your head thirteen times in a graveyard at midnight during full moon? No? Weird, I thought everybody knew that one…)

Thankfully, your search is now over! You have reached Vlad’s Ultimate Motivation Hack Formula! (I was going to throw in a few other fancy words, like “passion” and “synergy”, but if I ever decided to trademark it, the paperwork would kill me.)

I’m not just going to throw a simple technique at you. Oh no. We’re going to dig deeper into the STRATEGY of motivation. And from there, I will help you build the ultimate Motivation Hack that works for YOU personally!

Okay, ready?

Why do you need a motivation hack anyway?

Let’s face it. If you’re looking for a motivation hack, that means there’s something you feel you HAVE TO do, or SHOULD DO, but you don’t feel like doing it.

Pause for a moment and think about it. It’s so obvious you probably never even considered it. And yet it holds the key to motivation.

When I was a kid I used to jump out of bed at 6 am on the weekend, all excited. Why? Because the morning cartoons were on! And yet during weekdays, I would be hard pressed to drag myself out of bed by 7:30.

Notice something? During the week, I HAD TO get up. On the weekend, I WANTED TO get up!

So if you’re looking for a motivation hack, that means you don’t really WANT TO do something. You logically know you SHOULD be doing it, but your emotions tell you otherwise. You associate pain with doing it.

In a moment, I will share the Ultimate Motivation Hack with you. But first, there’s one more thing you need to understand. It might even shatter your model of reality. I’m going to show you why bribing yourself is directly COUNTER-PRODUCTIVE as far as motivation goes!

Why bribing yourself doesn’t work:

Let’s say you have some writing that you want to get finished. But you don’t feel like doing it. So what would most people immediately do? Bribe themselves! They decide to stick it out, and then reward themselves with a cold beer or a chocolate bar or any other kind of reward.

Nooooo! That absolutely KILLS motivation in the long term!

“But it works!” I hear you say.

Well, yes and no. Bribing yourself might get the task done this time. But it also associates even more pain to doing the task, because you now see it as this annoying painful thing you need to get through to get your reward. The next time you want to do the same task, it will be even harder to get motivated.

Through bribing, you don’t get yourself to the point where you WANT to do something. You only reinforce the notion that it’s something you HAVE TO suffer through to get a reward.

Remember when I told you it’s all about what you WANT TO do vs. what you HAVE TO do? It’s a deep principle. Remember it every time you struggle with motivation.

Okay, now let’s move on to the grand finale! How to build your own motivation hack for every situation!

The Ultimate Motivation Hack

Hold this in mind – you want to get to the point where you WANT TO do the task.

The best way I found was… to make the task itself FUN!

Like this one time, I had to sweep the living room floor. I spent hours procrastinating and thinking up excuses for not doing it. Then I stopped myself! I realized I was procrastinating because sweeping the floor was bloody boring! (i.e. painful). So I thought about how to make it fun for myself, and I came up with a solution! I decided to make it more challenging!

I stood on one leg, lifted the other one up while bending my body forward (forming a T-shape) and swept the floor like that, hopping around on one leg! (I also started talking in weird voices and eventually fell over from laughing at myself.)

Don’t take yourself too seriously . In fact, making a fool of yourself is a great way to start enjoying the task again.

A couple of months back, I started really strugging with writing. It became a painful chore, and I even thought of quitting blogging. But when I stopped myself and thought deeply about the problem, I realized I simply started taking myself too seriously! I had built up a readership, and I started caring about what they thought. (As in, “What would they think of me if I wrote this silly stuff?”)

Then I realized it doesn’t matter. If somebody doesn’t like my writing style, they’re free to stop reading. Being myself is more important than impressing strangers. And once I realized that, and stop censoring myself, the floodgates opened! Writing became easy again, because I was having FUN while doing it! (Plus, I got a lot more positive responses from readers!)

So if you want to build a motivation hack for yourself, just remember: It’s about making the task FUN.

You can make it more challenging, or more silly, or more ridiculous (I had a friend in high school who hated how formal the essays had to be. One day he decided to instead make it AS FORMAL AS POSSIBLE, using incredibly long convoluted sentences and fancy words, to see if the teacher caught on to the irony. She never did…)

I’m not going to give you “the one hack”. Because no one technique works for every person in every situation.

Instead, I will let YOU create hacks that work for YOU in each particular situation! Based on the principles I shared in this post, you can create your own motivation hack for every situation. And THAT is the Ultimate Motivation Hack.

Vlad Dolezal is a guest blogger for PickTheBrain. Check out Vlad’s blog Fun Life Development for more fun and exciting personal development tips. He’s even got a few posts waiting there especially for you!

The other day, having just typed an email to a customer, my mouse cursor hovered over the send button. But something didn’t feel quite right. Re-reading the email, I stopped at the following sentence:

“I should be able to get this to you in the next 24 hours”.

This is a fairly standard sentence, but on this particular occasion the word “should” caught my attention. Was this the best word I could use? Did it even matter?

I knew why I had chosen this particular word; I wanted to convey that I expected to have the work done within 24 hours, but there was a possibility I wouldn’t. So there was a rational reason for my choice, but in that moment I also came to see that using the word “should” could have potentially negative and unintentional consequences.

Ted Rogers, the Canadian Communications mogul who recently passed away, once noted: “It’s funny, the difference between success and failure often is very little.” It seems to me that one of these “little things” is the language we use to communicate. Here’s why:

Committing Ourselves

When I typed the word “should”, I effectively gave myself an excuse for not completing the request within 24 hours. Yes, it makes sense to do this in some circumstances. However, by doing this it also meant I would be less likely to complete the request within 24 hours. After all, was I making any commitment? Saying I should have something finished within 24 hours means it could be done in 48, 72 or 1,000 hours and I still would have kept my word.

I would like to note here that it is extremely important not to break your promises, and therefore you should be careful not commit to something you can’t do. But I think it is also extremely important not to give yourself a free ride by never making firm commitments and/ or never setting deadlines to complete work.

Let’s consider an alternative to using the word “should” (note: this is what I actually sent):

“I will get this to you in 24 hours”

The important word here, of course, is “will”. By using this word, I committed myself to getting this request done by a particular deadline. And guess what? I did.

Now, you may not be too interested in whether or not I got something done for a customer . But consider for a moment your own goals. Do ever find yourself saying “I want to get fit”. Or, “I should go to the gym”. Such statements are usually wishful thinking. It is only when you fully commit to something – which starts by saying something like “I will…” or I must…” – that it becomes a priority and receives your focused attention.

Trust from Others

There is a good chance that to get where you want to go in life you will need the help of other people. I mention this because the language you use when communicating with other people influences how they perceive you, and therefore how they treat you.

The word “should” is a hedge because maybe you will get the work done, but maybe you won’t…. This does little to give your clients, co-workers, boss or whoever it is you are dealing with confidence in you.

Strong vs Weak Language

The following are some examples of words that are generally strong and weak:

Once again, there are times when it is appropriate to use the words I have listed above as weak. My suggestion is simply to be conscious of your choice of such words, and then consider using a stronger alternative. By using strong language, you commit yourself to taking action and gain a greater level of trust from people you deal with.

Final Thoughts

There is a common saying that actions speak louder than words. I agree. But I also believe, as Obama once responded to his critics, that words do matter. If you can get your actions and language in alignment then you will be all the more closer to success (whatever “success” means to you).

What do you think? Does the language we use really contribute to success or failure? And if so, do you have any examples of words and phrases to use or avoid?

Peter writes about how to change your life at The Change Blog. He is also the author of Starting a Blog and Audio Book Downloads.