Every hour lasts sixty minutes. But not all hours are really equal.

Sometimes, those sixty minutes will pass almost unnoticed while you’re racing through work, “in flow”.

Sometimes, those sixty minutes will drift away while you surf the internet, flick from channel to channel on the TV, and struggle to get started.

The really critical hour, though, is the first one of your day.

Why Hour One Matters So Much

Bad days tend to start off poorly. Perhaps you oversleep, or skip breakfast, or decide not to work out (again). Or you’re doing fine until you reach the office  – and then you spend the first hour of your workday catching up with emails or sorting out lots of little administrative tasks.

Hour One matters because it sets the tone for what’s to come. If you start off well, it’s relatively easy to keep going: you feel motivated by what you’ve achieved, so you carry on doing great work.

Conversely, if you spend the first hour of your day bogged down in trivia or rushing to catch up, you may well find that you get more and more behind. The day rushes on – or drags – and, at the end of it, you don’t feel much sense of satisfaction.

Getting the first hour right will set you up for success – and keep you on track towards your goals. Here’s how to make your first hour a great one:

The First Hour: Life

Your day starts when you wake up. The first hour is a good time to make sure you’ve got the energy to cope with the rest of the day. That might mean:

• Doing some exercise
• Spending a few minutes sitting quietly, perhaps meditating
• Eating a healthy breakfast, ideally involving protein (e.g. egg or milk) and wholegrain

If you’re constantly rushed in the morning, go to bed 15 minutes earlier and get up 15 minutes earlier. It’s a tiny change that can make a real difference by reducing stress and giving you time to get your day off to a good start.

You’ll probably find that when you’re working on a big goal, the best time to do it is first thing in the morning. For instance, if you’re trying to get in the habit of reading more, you could get up early and spend the first hour of your day reading.

If you leave your goal until the evening, when you’re home from work, you’re probably going to find excuses not to do it.

The First Hour: Work

As well as thinking about the first hour of your whole day, focus on the first hour of your work day. What’s the first thing you do when you get into the office? For many people, it’s “get coffee, open emails”.

I know that some jobs do require close attention to an inbox, but do you really need to check your emails the very second you get to work? Is there really going to be anything which couldn’t wait an hour?

For a week, try spending the first hour of your workday on a high-impact project. Instead of ticking off little admin tasks, get on with that big report or presentation. An hour a day, when you’re feeling fresh, will be much less stressful and result in a better end result than rushing something together in three hours on a Friday afternoon.

If you’re really worried about missing an urgent email, you can use a service like AwayFind to notify you by text, phone, etc.

What’re your goals in life and work? Could you find time for them by using the first hour of the day?

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Wanted to thank you again for all of the notes and comments on our 2 design choices a couple of weeks back and hope you like the final product!

Coming up we will still have all the great content you’ve come to expect from us along with a new newsletter program and more…

So stay tuned…and ENJOY!!

Be well,

Erin

I am very excited to announce that as of next week PickTheBrain will be getting a design polish.

Thank you so much for all of your emails and suggestions in regards to the site – we have taken them all into consideration and have come up with what we think is a great new look.

BUT…we still need your last bit of input. We are down to 2 different color schemes and the vote is split.

If you’ve got a second we’d really appreciate if you could take a look at the 2 designs and let us know which you prefer.

PickTheBrain ultimately comes down to 2 things: the loyal readers and the talented writers. So we figured we’d leave it up to you to have your say…you’ve never been wrong here before!

We will make our decision on Friday, so please feel free to leave comments up until then!

Be well and thanks!

Erin

Option 1:

Option 2:

Image courtesy of WriterInspired

I ran in a race over the weekend and re-learned a valuable lesson. During the middle of the run, I turned a corner and faced a long stretch — the kind that doesn’t seem to end. When I started the race, the thought of crossing the finish line motivated me. But when I was half-way through, out of breath and out of energy, visualizing the finish line didn’t provide me with any “umph.”

Instead of focusing on success and reaching my goal, I tried to forget all about the finish line and conquering the long stretch ahead. I dropped my head and looked about three steps in front of me. Every three steps became a new “finish line.”  Forget about everything else, I told myself over and over. Focus on just those next three steps. Before I knew it, I had run the long stretch and was turning another corner.

So what does this mean in the real world? All the experts encourage you to dream big. Making your goals big and bold, they say, will help you persist in the face of obstacles. But many times, this thinking doesn’t cut it.

Big goals can become a double-edged sword. Big can get you off the couch, but it can also create frustration: I’m in the battle for my life, struggling in the trenches, getting shot at, and you want me to focus on winning the war? I don’t think so. How about focusing how to survive the next 24 hours?

There’s a fine line of course. If you exclusively focus on the immediate (i.e., what’s right in front of you) and ignore the bigger picture, your work may start to feel pointless. To achieve of a healthy balance, try the following:

1. Think big. In order to get the motivation to enter the race (e.g., start a company, write a book, lose weight, learn to play drums, start a blog), it’s important to visualize the finish line and to bask in the mental glory of crossing it. The bigger you think, the more excited you’ll be to get started. If you’re not a “think big” kind of thinker, check out Michael Port’s Think Big Revolution website for some inspiration.
2. Act small. Get out of your head and start doing small things every day to get one step closer to reaching your goal. You’ll find that even the biggest goals (and longest stretches) can be achieved by focusing on those small things that will take you a few steps closer to your destination.
3. Start today. Thinking about successfully achieving a big goal is easy. Actually achieving a big goal is hard. This is why most people talk and only a few do. If you want to accomplish X, you must do something today — right now — that moves you closer.

If you’re afraid of heights, the rule is not to look down. During my race, I had a new rule: don’t look up. I focused on my next few steps and knew if I did this over and over and over, I’d eventually reach the finish line. And I’m happy to report I did finish the race.

Oh, I guess I learned one more lesson. Don’t run in a race that you haven’t trained for if you want to walk the next day. (Ouch!)

For a limited time, you can download several free resources (assessment, poster, audio interview, video, and more) at www.other8hours.com and learn more about my new book, The Other 8 Hours: Maximize Your Free Time to Create New Wealth and Purpose.

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Do you have to be born a creative person? Or will you suffer the fate of being dull and unimaginative for the rest of your life?

Can you learn to come up with great ideas or learn to create unique, original things like art, music, poetry or ingenious inventions?

What about creativity being something like making a lot out of a little?

These are all questions that I have thought about for a very long time. I never really thought of myself as being creative, and I see the same attitude with so many people. “I just can’t come up with good ideas” or “I can’t start my own business, I’m not creative enough”.

In my opinion, the lack of creativity comes from two things:

1-) Social Conditioning.

From the day we are born we start being taught what to do, how to live, what is right and what is wrong. We are trained to accept other people telling us what to do. We are trained to follow rules and systems, sometimes to the point of not even being explained WHY, but just being told that that is ‘the way things are’ and the way things have to be done.

In other words, we are hardly taught to think for ourselves. We are not truly taught how to play and be creative, and often free thinkers and creative people have to withstand a lot of judgment and criticism because they dare to be different and think outside the box.

2-) Self-limiting beliefs

Due to this social conditioning, we have no real experience with being creative, because our thought processes are so confined and restricted. When we do wander outside the box every now and then, and try to be creative, and it doesn’t work, or comes out horribly, we start to establish the belief that we are not creative. The more we try, and the more we mess up, the more we confirm our belief that we are not creative.

Once this self-limiting belief is in place, it is hard to break, and we often end up not even trying to do things that require creativity anymore.

There is hope:

I have experienced both these above points of social conditioning and self-limiting beliefs. English is not my first language (although I have been speaking it since I was 6 years old), and I was always a C+ student during school with my English classes.

As a result I came to believe that I was not good at writing, and therefore really did not enjoy doing it, and any literature related class.

It was only a year ago when I started Upgradereality, that I realised how much fun writing really is. I still don’t think of myself as a great writer, but people seem to enjoy my posts and writing style, and best of all, I LOVE writing these posts.

I really try hard to improve and make my work better, by reading lots of other great blogs and seeing how they do things, and by asking feedback from friends and readers on my own posts.

I get ideas for posts in the most random places, when I’m driving in my car, or in the grocery store or in the shower. I have learnt to write these ideas down as soon as I get them, to make sure that I do not forget about them, and this way I always have a couple of good ideas for new posts.

Of course, this is just one aspect that I am using as an example. Creativity applies to anything and everything, and yes it is possible to learn to be creative.

How to learn to be creative:

The first step to becoming creative is to remove the words “I am not creative” from your vocabulary. Seriously, do not say them or do not say them inside your head. They no longer exist.

Now you need to start looking what other people in your niche are doing. Look them up online, read books, watch television shows about them. The more you see what they are doing, the more you can get a feel for how they think, and how they come up with creative ideas.

Find a way or a place where you feel totally relaxed. This is important so you can let your mind come up with ideas. Write them down as you get them. For me a relaxing place is outside in nature where it is quiet and sunny, or when I take a long drive in my car by myself, or even when I to the gym with my iPod, or go jogging.

Try to jot down a few ideas every day. They may be dumb, or they may only seem dumb. Write them down anyway. It’s a gradual process. Expand on previous ideas from the week before.

Repeat the process of reading and observing what similar people are doing and how they are being creative, finding a relaxing place to write down your thoughts, and jotting down a few ideas every day until you start seeing the kind of results you are happy with. It may take a few weeks to a few months, but this is the training process you need to put your mind through to become creative.

Remember, looking at things from a different angle can also make a big difference to creativity. Question the way that everyone else is doing something in the same method, see if being different and doing it another way will produce something cool.

Can you learn to be creative?

Absolutely!

Diggy writes about self improvement at his blog Upgradereality.com. His goals are to motivate and inspire others to better themselves and follow their dreams and passions. If you enjoyed this post you can subscribe to his latest posts via RSS or Email.

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Image Courtesy of TelegraphUK

It doesn’t matter how self-aware you are, we all get ‘stuck’ sometimes.

Usually we’re resourceful enough to find out what we need to know to move forward especially if it’s just information: we read a book, listen to a seminar, search the web or ask a friend in the know.

However, there are some forms of ‘stuck’ that don’t go away so easily. Oh sure, they take identifiable forms such as:

• Avoidance of people, situations and tasks
• Bad habits
• Criticizing others
• Procrastination
• Perfectionism
• Negativity

…but what is really going on ‘under the hood’ in our minds and bodies is not so easy to identify from the outside.

We know that something is wrong because of cognitive dissonance – the grating feeling of difference between how we want to be, and how we are. We try ‘just changing our mind’ but it doesn’t work. We grit out teeth and determine that we WILL change. But we don’t.

So we struggle again and again in futile ways to change it: we may even have cartoon-rage-like moments where we struggle, strain, grunt and groan as dust and arms pinwheel in every direction. Then the dust clears and we’re still there – and we haven’t changed.

It can be because:

• We’ve reached the limit of our experience – we don’t know how to move forward
• We don’t want to move forward
• We consciously want to move forward but unconsciously don’t want to
• We don’t know we don’t want to (and someone else points out we need too!)

… and it’s exhausting.

Eventually, we may deny to ourselves that there even IS a problem. It’s like if your mind were a shoe, the problem would be a stone in it that you ignore.

I call these processes that tie us up and hold us back from growing and developing: psychological knots.

Think about a time when you needed to go out, and you suddenly found a gnarly knot in your shoe-lace or belt-tie (for ladies!).

You just wanted to leave, but the knot was really going to hamper you in doing your thing, so you dig your finger-nails in and try to unpick it. But it’s pulled tight, and all you do is succeed in getting frustrated – and maybe a snagged nail!

Maybe you actually go out, doing your best to hide the knot, but YOU know it’s there so you try to hide it, and it spoils your evening because you can’t be relaxed. (OK, perhaps you were never that shallow but you can imagine!)

What we need to move forward are more options, leverage points: ways to unpick the knot and to get moving forward.

With a shoe-lace you can cut it off and get another that works.

With a psychological knot you might just have to put up with it until you know how to untie it.

Below I’ve listed what I have found to be seven key skills necessary for untying psychological knots.

Some of the knots require you to further develop certain skills to do them effectively but I do believe you can start to make progress on all of them by yourself. Every skill does demand that you put in some time and effort to practice it.

1. Acceptance/Acknowledgement

The human mind is not designed to work against itself. And that is exactly what happens when our emotions/feelings flag up that we have a problem, and we reject or deny it from our consciousness. It is paradoxical but true that acknowledging that we have a problem with our thinking and behavior can bring instant relief. It is an act of courage but also an act of wisdom. When YOU acknowledge a problem you put yourself back in the driver’s seat. Accepting or acknowledging that a problem exists is not the same as saying it’ll be there forever.

2.  Re-frame the meaning of ‘emotions‘

Sorry to say but there is plenty of New-Age waffle about our emotions being an infallible guidance system to what we want and even to being successful in life. Stop it now. Our emotions (which people often refer to as ‘feelings’) are simply information from our mind and body about its interaction with the world outside it, and its interactions with itself. If you get enough of what you value – you feel neutral or happy; if you get less, you feel sad. Getting what you do or don’t expect does not mean anything objective about you or your life. Despite what society says you do not have to “do what you feel”. That is what animals do. (Personally, I am not descended from an amoeba.) Fearing our emotions is like fearing breathing – another natural process which we can’t stop so we might as well learn to accept – even when it is uncomfortable.

3. Raise your awareness of what’s on your mind

I wrote about this before but the basic point is that it’s easier to work with what you are aware of. Some people meditate to quieten their minds, some people journal. I use these but also Image Streaming which not only helps you become aware of the images and sounds and words in your mind but also increases your creativity, language skills and measurable IQ. For those who ‘don’t see pictures’ in their minds, this is ideal. It’s like the first Egyptologists shining a light into a dark room full of treasure!

4. List what’s on your mind

The simplest way to know what’s on your mind is to sit down with pen and paper and keep asking: What do I think about x? (with x being the subject) Then, take those answers and ask “What do I think about what I’ve just written?” and keep repeating the process until you don’t have anything left. It can be life-changing. I’ve created a downloadable product to help with this on a more advanced level called Conceptual Restructuring. You can also journal or free-write in which you sit down, ask yourself a question, and then write non-stop for 10 – 15 minutes. After a few minutes of writing the stuff in your consciousness gets cleared out, and you start getting answers from your powerful unconscious mind.

5. Give yourself permission to hear yourself speak

This is similar to raising your awareness but different in that just because you can hear something about yourself, doesn’t mean you are willing to. If you find yourself feeling internal resistance try quietening your mind and saying in your most authoritative voice: “I give myself permission to feel x.. after all, it’s just a feeling, right? It’s just information right? Keep saying it until you feel a shift, often in the chest area.

6. It’s not real….!

Look up the principle “the map is not the territory” on the internet and take some time to reflect on it because I think it’s one of the most important principles in personal development. It is from the cognitive sciences and it basically means that you and I operate from mental ‘maps’ that we use to orient ourselves in the world. Or mental blue-prints if you prefer. And each and every one of us operates from a different view of the world given our upbringing. The AMAZING thing is that because our maps are self-justifying we tend to be “right in our own eyes” despite evidence to the contrary! It helps to ask ourselves “How does it help me to realise that my thoughts are not the real, objective truth but just a model?”

7. Decide you want something new and design it

You might want the help of an expert for this but if you do your research you can gets some powerful shifts of mind. If you’ve decided that what you currently think is not working for you then sometimes it’s simply a case of deciding to think something new. Yes, it can be that simple. Quotes are a great source of material for establishing principles to build on. Or if you prefer specifics, study a book on the subject. Find someone who can teach you practical skills, and fill in the principles later.

Douglas Cartwright is a meta-coach whose speciality is helping professionals who procrastinate get unstuck and start taking more action. Visit www.livingwords.net and get two free e-books and a presentation on coaching along with a bonus ebook on overcoming procrastination.

If you’re interested in learning more, sign up to the ‘psychological knots’ mailing list at www.livingwords.net You’ll get further information on the above in the form of a short How to stop feeling Stuck and Start Feeling Free E-Course

and thought-provoking and practical articles on how to untie some of the most common psychological knots.

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Ten days ago, PickTheBrain along with numerous other WordPress blogs, was hacked, and now finally we’ve debugged the system and are operating back at full force!

Thanks for the hundreds of concerned emails we received and thanks for your undying loyalty and patience!

Be well and get reading!

Erin

Image courtesy of Joee_halloween

We have two ears and one mouth. Just based on our body parts, you’d think we’d all be natural listeners. But we’re really not. You’re born with the ability to hear, but you have to develop the ability to listen. The normal listening mode for most people is passive. Words come in one ear, and go out the other. Important information is missed. Details are overlooked. Reasoning is misunderstood. People feel disrespected.
The alternative to passive listening is active listening, where you’re more of a participant than a spectator, even though you’re not the one talking. It’s a better way to listen effectively. Here’s how to do it:

1. Be prepared to actively listen.
If you start off intending to listen passively, you’ve already lost. Listening well is much harder than you think, and it won’t happen by itself. Simply deciding that you’re going to actively listen puts you in the right frame of mind for actually doing it.
2. Stay physically focused.
If your body can’t stay still, your mind won’t either. Being physically present in the conversation is obviously essential for good listening, but many people fail at it. Don’t multitask. If you’re checking your email while talking on the phone, you’re not listening to that person. Don’t fidget, drum your fingers, or do pen tricks. Make good eye contact, and don’t interrupt the conversation to take a phone call or perform any other task.
One great way to ruin a conversation is to look at your watch when someone’s talking. While you may have a good reason for doing so, it’s a clear signal to the other person that you’re not as interested in listening to them as you are in getting on to your next thing. Even if you think you can be subtle about checking the time, they’ll probably notice. If you absolutely must look at your watch, do it when you’re talking, not when they’re talking. This makes a huge psychological difference to the other person.
3. Stay mentally focused.
OK, you’ve managed to make your body sit still. That’s the easy part. Just because you appear to be listening doesn’t mean you are. Does your mind jump around between topics that have nothing to do with the conversation? Listening requires your full attention, so a wandering mind is no good here. Save the daydreaming for your own time. If other conversations are happening around you, tune them out. Block out all background noise and focus on the person you’re talking to. Specifically, focus on the message they’re trying to get across. If you’re thinking about how they don’t pronounce the g at the end of a word they’re sayin’, you’re paying attention to the wrong thing. The important part is their message, not their grammar or diction. Tone and body language can be very important too, so don’t forget to look beyond their words. If you find yourself in a boring conversation, try to find something interesting about it. Putting up with a few minutes of less than stellar discussion might pay off. Anyway, it’s the polite thing to do.
4. Let them talk.
When they’re talking, you want to be sure you give them room to say what they want to say. Don’t get impatient if they don’t get to the point as quickly as you’d like. Be respectful, and let them talk their way.
Don’t correct mispronounced words, finish their sentences, make disapproving faces, or interrupt to say you disagree. In fact, you shouldn’t even be thinking about what you’re going to say next. Just listen. To make sure they know you want to listen, encourage them to keep speaking by nodding and saying “go on” or “tell me more.”
5. React appropriately.
After they’ve finished talking, only then should you respond. Don’t jump the gun by rushing to judgment before they’ve even finished. In fact, even after they’re done, you still might want to pause to think before responding.
Do it in a way that shows you were paying attention. You can summarize what they said in your own words, to make sure you understand it correctly. You can ask follow-up questions. Offer feedback based on your careful consideration of what they said. Listening is fairly simple, but it’s not easy. It does take effort, especially when you’re not really in the mood for it. But it’s worth it. By listening well, you not only greatly reduce misunderstandings, but you also give people that warm fuzzy feeling of knowing that someone really listened to them.
About the writer: Hunter Nuttall wants you to stop sucking and live a life of abundance. Visit his site to learn how to improve your life and your income.

Got a Self Improvement Question? Click Here!

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How To Improve Your Daily Communications

1. Always Ask for a Receipt or Staff Number

Whenever you have a need to contact a call center – even if it is for the simplest of queries – you should make a note of the call which includes either a receipt or staff number. Call centers for large corporations are huge, and simply writing down that you spoke to “James” or “Jenny” is not enough. This tip is particularly important if there is anything that needs to be followed up.

2. Even if You Are Angry, Stay Calm

If you have a problem with a company, it is very unlikely that the person you are speaking to actually caused it. So don’t waste your time screaming at the person who is on the other end of the line. How you treat that person will have a big impact on whether they try to genuinely help you, or whether they try to get rid of you as quick as possible. Be polite, but firm, with the person you are speaking to. And if you are not happy with what they are telling you, use the following tips.

3. If You Are Unhappy, Ask to Speak to a Supervisor

If you are unhappy with what you are being told, ask to have your call escalated to a supervisor. Typically a supervisor will have better knowledge, more time to answer your query, and greater discretion when it comes to things such as refunding fees.

4. If You Don’t Like What You Are Told, Hang Up and Call Again

You would be amazed at how effectively this one works. The reason it does work is because in large call centers there is a huge difference in the experience and knowledge of different representatives. Call centers typically have a high rate of turnover for staff, which means there is a good chance you will end up talking to someone new to the company. Also, remember you are speaking to someone in a high pressured job, so if they are unhelpful you may just have caught them on a bad day.

5. Ask to Close Your Account

This was how I saved over $200 on my phone bill. I was trying to get our home phone connected and the incompetency of the telecommunications company was finally too much. I asked to cancel my order and was transferred to a department called “Account Closures”. After outlining to the representative why I was canceling my order, I was offered 6 months of free phone service if I didn’t cancel. A similar situation occurred when I once tried to cancel my credit card. Not only did I get the annual fee permanently waived on my card, I also had the annual fee I had paid the previous year refunded.

Why does this tactic work so well? Basically, companies will do anything to retain you business. When I worked in the call center for the bank we had a specialized team called the “Client Retention Team”. Apart from being specially trained to retain the business of angry customers, they were given a lot of flexibility when it came to waiving fees.

Peter writes about how to enjoy life at The Change Blog. If you enjoyed this article, you may wish to download his free e-book, A Year of Change.