“Mosk” courtesy of Maciej Mizer

Our life is what our thoughts make it. Life is neither good or evil, but only a place for good and evil. ~Marcus Aurelius

A belief is something you consider to be true. You cannot decide to believe one thing this week and another, opposing thing, next week. You might think you can, but it really doesn’t work like that. I read recently that baby circus elephants are tied to a strong metal post with a heavy chain because they will try to escape and expend a lot of energy on pulling at their tether. After some time, they accept that they will not be able to escape and so stop pulling. The adult elephants are tethered to a wooden stake with a light rope: they could easily escape, but they believe they are unable to do so, and so the light tethering works as a kind of symbol of their bondage. It is clear that whether your beliefs are true or not is irrelevant. What matters is what you regard to be true. It seems to me that this is a good definition of ‘belief.’

People believe all sorts of things for all sorts of reasons. Some beliefs are trivial and others are very important, but two things are certain:

1. Our underlying beliefs operate at a deep, subconscious level, and
2. These underlying beliefs affect what we experience in life, including our level of success or failure in any endeavor.

Where do these beliefs come from?

Philip Larkin said ‘They f**k you up, your mum and dad.’ Which might seem a bit cruel, but then he did admit that ‘they do not mean to, but they do.’ What he’s saying, of course, is that we learn our worldview from our parents, and if our parents think that life is a struggle and that money and success don’t come easily, then this will be our ‘defaults mode,’ too. We spend many years being ‘drip fed’ these beliefs and they get embedded deep in our subconscious. It’s fine to say ‘just change your beliefs,’ but it’s not always so easy. We have picked up many limiting beliefs from parents, teachers, friends, religion (dare I say?) and society in general. Some of these beliefs are holding us back, so doesn’t it make sense that we should want to shed them?

Do we really want to get rid of these beliefs?

Actually, it’s not that simple. We can get a tremendous payback from some apparently harmful and limiting beliefs. I’m sure we all know people who seem to identify themselves as a victim, believing that they are helpless and needing someone to look after them or ‘save’ them. These people get a feeling of security (they don’t have to try to be better or take any risks because they know it’s pointless and they will fail), and they get people running around after them, looking after them.

We need to look at our beliefs and examine what kind of payback we are getting from them and so why we might not want to let go of them. Some examples of limiting beliefs might be:

• Everyone is selfish
• People are always trying to rip you off
• There isn’t enough to go around so you have to grab what you can
• You can be struck down by circumstances (illness, accident) at any time
• It’s not my fault that my life is like this

All of these beliefs do something for us; they give us some validation or some comfort. But they are simply beliefs. Deeply engrained, to be sure, but only beliefs and so susceptible to change. Shedding these beliefs may cause some pain, but growth is often accompanied by pain, and I am confident that they pain of growth is a small price for the loss of a lifetime of limitation.

Change your beliefs and change your life

And so that brings us to the good news – you CAN change your beliefs. I suggest three steps for doing this:

1. Identify a limiting belief (eg Things just happen. I’m not in control of my life)
2. Cast the belief in a different way (I am in control and I consciously orchestrate my experience)
3. Look around for evidence of this new belief. You WILL find it! After a while, this will sink in and you will start to think the new belief is ‘true.’

In a sense, I’m suggesting that you brainwash yourself. This may sound negative, but remember that you’ve already been brainwashed into negative thinking, so some reprogramming won’t hurt. Perhaps ‘condition yourself’ is a better phrase than ‘brainwash.’ It takes time, but you can do it if you really want to.

Beliefs to live by

I believe the following to be true and I see evidence of these statements around me all the time.

• I orchestrate my own experience of life
• Life is naturally abundant. There is enough for everyone
• Life, when lived properly, is easy and happy
• I don’t have to improve myself – I am already as valuable and worthwhile as anyone else
• I can do anything if I apply myself in the right way
• Circumstances arrange themselves and opportunities are presented for my greatest good

The tragedy of much adult life is that our vision is so limited. Like the elephant, we can walk away from our tether any time, but we often don’t because we are shackled by our false and limiting beliefs.

I want to end with a wonderful fable from Anthony de Mello, a man who really seemed to understand the human condition.

An eagle lays an egg but somehow the egg finds its way into a chicken coup. A chicken incubates the egg with all her others and when it hatches, she rears the eaglet as if it were one of her own chicks. It learns to peck the dust for food, to flap its wings and to strut around the farmyard. One day, an eagle flies by overhead. The little eagle looks up and sees this, and says to himself, ‘I wish I were an eagle – how majestic, how free, how beautiful to be like that and have such a life.’ The eagle lived like a chicken and died like a chicken, because that’s hat he thought he was.

Visit Mark at effortlessabundance.com, and check out his new book, Thirty Days to Change Your Life.

"Glitch" courtesy of Luiza O.S @Flickr

Chances are you've got success on the brain if you're reading this article.  You've set your goals, you're on your way to achieving your dreams.  But they're not coming as fast as you would like.  You're ready for it to all come true right now.  You set a deadline to reach your goal, but it just didn't happen in that timeframe.  And now you feel a little deflated.  Maybe you've even allowed a little doubt to creep in, as you're not sure when (or if) it will ever happen.

You know what a missed deadline tells you?
It's just a feedback mechanism to tell you that your plans and execution of them weren't correct for the timeline you set.  You're not a failure.  You've just produced a result.  It may not be the result you wanted, but don't fret, because sometimes our greatest lessons come from when we get what we didn't want.  Maybe the deadline was too tight.  Maybe your plans weren't sound.

You're not the only one to not reach a goal or hit a bump in the road.
Michael Jordan didn't make his high school basketball team.  Famous author J.K. Rowling was living on welfare when she wrote the first Harry Potter book, the start of a series that went on to make her spectacularly rich.

So what do the champions do during the process of making their dreams come true?

1. Grin and bear it.  You probably didn't want to hear this.  You want to hear me say "you can have it all right now."  Sorry, good self help isn't like a fast food restaurant slogan.  Sometimes there will be times when your energy levels are off or something else happens in your life forcing you to put your dreams on hold for a just a bit.  It's for those challenging times that you have to do your best and tackle all the challenges in front of you.  Yes, you'll have failures along the way but when Michael Jordan he bore the rejection by practicing even more.
2. Take a time-out. You're saying, "what do you mean relax?  How can I relax when I've done everything I can and my dreams still aren't coming true."  Remember, throughout history, the great men and women who changed our world have found their greatest ideas when they were away from their usual routines.  For instance, when he was a teenager, Albert Einstein spent some time in Italy with his parents enjoying the beauty of Italy's Apennine mountains.  It was during this time he contemplated what would happen if a ray of light became imprisoned.  This idea was to be the foundation of his life's work.  So relax.  You never when the idea you need to bridge the gap between your current reality and your dreams will be found.  But sometimes you need to give yourself the space to find it.
3. Assess whether your current plans are realistic. If you've got 4 kids, a full-time job, and a mortgage, it may be hard to start your own business on the side and have it succeed within a month.  Maybe your dreams aren't coming true by the deadlines you set because your deadlines were unrealistic to begin with.   So make new plans and get underway!
4. Get support. If you're starting your own business, is there someone you know who's been down this road who can give you some advice?  Or, if you're trying to fix your life in some way – overcoming an addiction, healing from a painful past, or getting over an ex-lover – maybe you should consider getting a therapist.  Often times, having a sounding board and a supportive ear can make us feel better and even more motivated to recommit to achieving our goals.
5. Play a game called "15 Ways…" This is a little game I like to play whenever I get stuck on how to break through barriers in achieving goals.  Grab a sheet of paper and brainstorm 15 ways you can overcome whatever obstacle is standing in between you and your goals.  For instance, if you feel it's a lack of time, then brainstorm 15 ways you can create more time in your life.  I like using the number fifteen because I find the first five are usually pretty obvious, but the next 10 are usually a bit harder to come up with.  These are where the novel solutions you didn't think about usually reveal themselves.
6. Pick a hero.  Who in your mind is a noteworthy person you would like to emulate in life?  Are they extremely motivated?  Did they overcome tremendous odds to get where they are today?  Tack a picture of them on your wall.  Everytime you feel like it's too hard or you just can't do it, learn to ask yourself what your hero would do.  Now go do it.
7. Go out and execute every day. If you're done with your time out, then commit to doing one thing for your dreams everyday, no matter how small it is.  Taking action keeps you motivated and gives you momentum in achieving your goals.  Well-worn clichés like "genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration" still hold water today.

A missed deadline is just a chance for growth.  And it makes for a great story about how you overcame obstacles along the way. Every success story has them.  So why shouldn't you?

Are you a child abuse survivor wondering why you're unhappy?  Then get this free report, Why Are You Unhappy? (How To Create Happiness Through Friendship If You're An Abuse Survivor), written especially for child abuse survivors trying to create happiness in their lives.

Adam Appleson is the founder of ZenTactics, a website that helps abuse survivors develop practical personal development skills with articles like One of the Best Free Natural Remedies for Depression That You Can Do In 10 Minutes Or Less. ]]> http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/how-to-use-failure-to-trigger-success/feed/ 17 http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/10-dream-steps-for-success%e2%80%94how-to-bring-your-dreams-to-reality/ http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/10-dream-steps-for-success%e2%80%94how-to-bring-your-dreams-to-reality/#comments Thu, 18 Feb 2010 18:19:48 +0000 Deborah Nelson http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/?p=1712

A Midsummer’s Night Dream courtesy of Jasmin Aldin

Putting Power in Your Steps

To come from a place power, a clear understanding of past, present, and future is critical. In dwelling on the past, we are deterred from our dreams and dream objectives. By emotionally living in the past, we distract ourselves from discovering and giving voice to our deepest, most inspirational desires.

The Past Does Not Equal the Future

In thinking of the past, we stir up negative explanations as to why our dreams can’t come true because they haven’t come true in the past. It is a specific sort of blame game and subtracts from our power to take responsibility for what our life has become. Develop a habit of catching yourself in these thoughts and instantly correct them to shift your power by taking action in the present moment.

Our lives are a reflection of what we continuously focus on. Therefore, if we continue to focus on what happened in the past, we continue to repeat the past. History repeats itself, particularly for those who keep focusing on it!

“But how can I learn from my mistakes if I don’t look back?”  Although this question seems to make sense, there is weakness in this thinking. It makes the assumption that mistakes have been made. However, I believe that there is no such thing as failure, and that all seeming failure is an opportunity for adjustment. An adjustment is an improvement, rather than a correction of a mistake. When we think in terms of mistakes, this thinking comes from lack, or fear.

In thinking from power, faith, and responsibility, we simply make improvements. When we shift our thinking from fear of repeating mistakes to acceptance of a learning opportunity, the negative past loses its power over us.

The Future

The future is exciting because it’s a blank slate, and if we understand it as a creative opportunity, the future will not keep us in fear. The past is gone and the future is not yet here, so by investing ourselves too much in either the past or the future, we diminish our power to act in the present moment.

If live in the future in our mind, then we can easily get into fear, and become afraid of what will or won’t happen. “What if?” may be a statement of fear about the future, and when you catch yourself saying it, that is an opportunity to change your attitude to one of faith instead of fear.

Having faith in the future is a way to establish your dreams in the thinking stuff. Fear of the future is focusing on and visualizing a negative outcome. To see good dreams manifested, invest positive faith in the future and guide your thoughts away from fear of the future and fear of the past.

The Powerful Present Moment

The past and future are illusory. They are not tangible, and only reside in the mind. This is where the self-control of thoughts will influence your dreams—in the present moment. The present moment is so powerful that modern quantum physics shows evidence that the present can alter the past. When we begin to define our dream statement of 15 words or less, it is powerful to make the statement in the present tense. We, therefore, visualize our dreams in the present and actually attract the future based on our focus.

The Ten Dream Steps for Success

STEP 1—Launch Your Courage

CONCEPT: Courage to Dream

STEP 2—Drive Your Desires

CONCEPT: Conscious Belief Systems

STEP 3—Free Your Imagination

CONCEPT: Imagination Stimulation

STEP 4—Stage Your Dream

CONCEPT: Enlightened Visualization

STEP 5—Pen Your Dream Script

CONCEPT: Power of Words-Write it!

STEP 6—Set Your Dream on Fire

CONCEPT: Ignite Dream Momentum

STEP 7—Publish Your Dream Plan Book

CONCEPT: Connect with the “Thinking Stuff”

STEP 8—Inspire Your Dream With Action

CONCEPT: Power of the Present Moment

STEP 9—Awaken Your Dream with Thanks

CONCEPT: Attraction Action of Gratitude

STEP 10—Become a Dream Achiever

CONCEPT: Live, Share, Expand Your Dreams

Deborah Nelson is the author of several books including the Dreams to Reality Series: Author Your Dreams Action Plan, available on Amazon.com; and a free PDF copy available at http://www.AuthorYourDreams.com.

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This report and other recent studies show that online learning, distance learning, and self-learning in general, are not only more convenient, but, in fact, more effective than the classroom, for high school, college and adult learners. In the last decade, the Internet, the MP3 player, the iPhone, and other mobile devices,as well as social networking sites, language exchange communities, online learning systems, university courses online and more, have changed how we deal with knowledge. Independent programmer-entrepreneurs are constantly developing new learning applications. The language lab is already obsolete, can the college lecture hall be far behind? The walls of academia, and the costs of learning, are crumbling before our eyes and ears.

For those who are conditioned to think that learning only happens in a classroom, the world of self-learning can be a little daunting. How do we best take advantage these new opportunities.

1. Get interested

Make no mistake. Your interest in the subject is the essential driver of success. You can’t learn what you do not want to learn. Emotion is an important part of the learning process. If you are even moderately interested in a subject, give yourself  a chance. The key is to get started. If you can create some pleasurable routines, you may find that the subject grows on you. “L’appetit vient en mangeant” (the appetite comes with eating) as they say in French.

2. Expect problems and you won’t be disappointed.

Don’t expect to understand things, much less remember them, the first time you study them. Trust that things will get clearer as your brain comes to grips with new information. It is like a jig-saw puzzle or a cross-word puzzle. As you start to put the pieces together, or string the words together, the full picture becomes clearer. The brain learns all the time, but on its own schedule. Learning does not take place according to a schedule laid down by a curriculum or teacher. Some things are easier to learn than others. Some things just take longer to click in. Keep at it, and you will gradually find that things that seem difficult at first, will become second nature with time.

3. Cover the same ground from different angles.

Your brain is struggling to form patterns to cope with new input from your learning activities. Sometimes, no matter how long you focus on one subject, your brain is not going to pick it up. If you are stuck, move on. Then cover the same general information from a different source, a different book, or a podcast, or an online lecture or a video. Try to become a grazing learner, roaming the countryside, rather than a feedlot learner, just standing there in one spot, munching on the same bale of hay. The broader your base, the easier it is to learn. Just as the “rich get richer”, the more you know, the more you can learn.

4. Anytime is learning time.

Take full advantage of the Internet, iTunes, and various mobile devices, not to mention good old-fashioned books and magazines. Learn during “dead time”. Listen in your car, on the train, or while jogging. Have your learning with you while waiting in the doctor’s office, or listen while checking out at the supermarket. Anytime is learning time. Remember, you are learning through exposure, not by nailing things down. It is more like moisture accumulation in a cloud, rather than building a brick wall.

5. Be a multimedia learner.

The more varied your learning content, and the more varied the ways in which you learn, the clearer the puzzle will become. Different learning activities suit different people, at different times of the day. Vary your activities in order to keep your interest level up. Even if listening and reading work best for you, treat yourself to the odd video lecture, or get-together with other learners. This will renew your batteries.

6. Join learning communities.

The “loneliness of the distance learner” is a thing of the past. Join a learning community on the web, where members share their knowledge and experience. Search for the communities that suit your interests and learning style. You will find encouragement, advice and stimulus from fellow learners, as well as from tutors, teachers and coaches. In these communities, you can measure your progress against your own goals, or compare your experience with that of other learners. You can even teach and help others, which is a great way to learn.

Never has it been easier nor more exciting to be a learner. Let constant learning be a major part of your life-style. The rewards will be constant, personally, socially, and professionally.

Steve Kaufmann is a former Canadian diplomat, who has had his own company in the international trade of forest products for over 20 years. Steve is the founder and CEO of LingQ.com an online language learning system and Web 2.0 community. Steve speaks eleven languages, having recently learned Russian at LingQ. Steve maintains a blog on language learning,and has written a book on language learning called The Linguist, A Language Learning Odyssey.

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No one actually wants to encounter failure in their life. That’s because when you look at the isolated incident, it means that you haven’t found success. However, with the right attitude, you can use your failure in order to get yourself to success in an accelerated fashion.

Overcoming Failure

The first step to overcoming failure is to accept your situation. Tell yourself that failure is a natural part of life, and that you’re not superhuman so you will fail to succeed at certain junctures in your life.

When you attempt to be too perfect that can just be yet another failure on your part. It’ll cause you stress and you won’t be able to get yourself past to the part of acceptance. You might tell yourself that you’re over it when you really aren’t. You don’t want to be carrying that burden around with you forever.

Your Positive Outlook

The next thing to concentrate on is to turn your negative thoughts into positive ones. If you fail to succeed, don’t be tempted to wallow in it. It’ll mean that you’ve truly failed because you’re choosing to end your road to success.

With the right outlook on life, you can look at your failure as just a stepping stone on your way to success. Your goal is to seek out the silver lining, because it’s always there hiding in any negative situation.

I remember a time when I wanted to be a part of a sports team, I tried and I didn’t make the team. I could have just moved on and blamed others for the failure, but I chose to study the reasons why I didn’t make it. I asked the coach what I could work on and I practiced those skills. To make a long story short, the next year I was on the team and better yet, I was a starting player. I don’t believe I would have accomplished so much so fast had I not encountered the initial “failure”.

How Failure Can Speed Up Success

The above story illustrates how one can use a failure in order to get to success faster. There’s a vast difference between overcoming failure and accepting failure. When you’re in the process of overcoming failure you’re given the unique opportunity to analyze what went wrong.

Take the time to study the exact steps that you took and what outcome you received. Also study the reasons why the failure occurred. Maybe there’s a certain skill you can develop in order to finally reach success?

After this analysis you can draft up a new plan in order to get to success. Only this time you’ll be smarter and better equipped.

Never Give Up On Yourself

It may help you to stop using words like “failure” when it comes to your attempts at success. As long as you’re still trying on that road to success, then you actually haven’t failed. It’s only once you’ve given up that you’ve failed.

Life is tough though. To say “never give up” is easier said than done. Of course there will be times when you feel like giving up, everyone encounters these times. Just ask any successful person that you admire. However, it’s those people that still make the extra effort even when they feel like giving up that reach success. There’s nothing stopping you from being one of these people.

Of course you want to get to success as fast as you possibly can, but you must give yourself proper time. Everyone has their unique road and when you stop comparing yourself to others and just plough forward with your plans, you’ll get there before you know it.

Author’s Bio:

Ever wondered how great successful people achieved great success? You can find the answer in The 77 Traits of Highly Successful People. Mark Foo has brought together 48 personal development bloggers and writers to co-author the success eBook that spells out all of the success secrets of the very successful people. This eBook is available to you FREE and you can grab your free copy now at http://www.77SuccessTraits.com.

Artwork courtesy of Amy Buchheit

Some days, you wake up early, storm through tons of work before lunch, and come to the evening feeling as though you’ve accomplished a lot. For many of us, though, those days are the exception rather than a rule. Perhaps you’re reading this in the middle of a rather unproductive day. Maybe you woke up late, spent time procrastinating, had to deal with a dozen “urgent” little tasks, or simple got interrupted every five minutes.

If it feels like your day is slipping through your fingers, here’s how to turn things around and make that unproductive day into a fulfilling one:

Stop and Take Stock

So often, we end up in “reaction mode”, responding in a knee-jerk way to things as they come up. This is generally an ineffective way to work: you often end up dealing with fairly low-priority tasks simply because they’re the ones which present themselves.

When your day’s running away from you, take just five minutes to completely stop. Close your email program and your browser, or simply switch off your computer monitor. Think about what you want to accomplish today. Are you on track? If not, what’s gone wrong – and how can you pull things back into line?

Pick One Important Project or Task

As you take stock of your unproductive day so far, work out one important project or task that you want to get done, something that will give your day a sense of meaning and purpose. Perhaps it’s something you’ve been putting off, like writing an important letter or email. Maybe it’s the first step in a new course of action, like signing up for a course or seminar. It could be something that will take you further towards an important goal – perhaps getting your business’s website online.

Spend An Hour Focusing On This

A whole hour of focused attention is long enough to make meaningful progress. Let everything else slide for an hour, and spend that time concentrating on your one important thing. Your emails, and phone calls can wait until that hour’s up. It might help to set a timer. If your task involves writing, try using a full-screen program like Dark Room. Shut down your email – or even disconnect your computer from the internet if it helps.

Eliminate As Many Distractions As Possible

You might have to struggle to find just one hour to devote to something truly important. To keep your day on productive lines, eliminate the distractions that are sapping your focus. That might mean that you close your email and leave it closed until it’s nearly the end of your working day. Perhaps you’ll let your phone go to voicemail. Let your colleagues know you’d appreciate only being interrupted in a real emergency – or if you work from home, explain to your family that you could really use some uninterrupted time.

Challenge Yourself to Be Productive

Some unproductive days aren’t simply caused by us succumbing to distractions – they’re partially influenced by external events. Maybe you have several meetings scheduled, a lot of family duties, or various chores to run. Challenge yourself to squeeze in as much productive work as you can: perhaps you’ll jot down some notes while waiting in line at the post office, or maybe you can blitz through some emails with your toddler on your lap. If you have routine chores to do around the house, listen to audio books or podcasts during them – it’s a great way to fit some learning into your day.

Review Your Day

When you’ve had an unproductive day, don’t waste time and energy feeling guilty about it. See it instead as an opportunity to learn about the conditions in which you work best. Spend ten minutes reviewing how your day went, asking questions like:
•    Where did things start going wrong? (eg. “I woke up late”, “I checked my email first thing”)
•    What distractions did I succumb to?
•    What could I have done differently?
•    What helped me to focus?

There’s nothing wrong with making mistakes – they’re great learning opportunities, and chances to eliminate methods of working that aren’t helpful to you.

Do you find that you regularly have unproductive days? How do you turn things around?

Want Personalized Productivity Tips? Click Here!

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Are you progressing in life, or are you just treading water?  This is a brief article intended to motivate you beyond stagnation into purposeful action, once and for all.  These are the steps I use to get things done.

Almost everyday I go to the gym, and almost everyday I see people in the gym who are unfortunately making very little progress.  Although these individuals frequent the gym quite regularly, they are experiencing very little change in their bodies.  This is quite the misfortune.

Today I want to discuss this phenomenon and explain the steps that cause some people to progress, while others stagnate.

You Must Grow

The reality is, if you’re not going forward, you are going backwards.  I think it’s interesting that one of the definitions of stagnate, is to decline.

We know that if living things are not growing and developing, they are dying, and who wants to die before their time?

In order to move from “stuck” into “rapid progress” the following 3 steps are requisite:

Step 1: Decide How Your End Result Will Look and Commit to Achieve It

You have to see your end result clearly.  It is just as difficult to get to a place you can’t see, as it is to come back from a place you’ve never been.  When I ran track as a child, they told us to never look to the left or to the right, but always stay focused on the finish line.  You must see the port in the harbor to which you are headed.

Additionally, you must commit to the vision of what you want to achieve.  You must draw a line in the sand and confess that you’re sick and tired of being sick and tired, before you will be able to go forward.  Nothing really happens until you get angry; nothing happens until you are tired of the pain.

Step 2: Simplify Your Life

When the lion tamer goes into the lion cage, he brings a pistol, a whip and a chair.  The chair is said to be the most efficient at controlling the beast.  Why is this?

When the bottom of the chair is pointed in the direction of the lion, the lion becomes unsure as to which leg to focus on, and begins to stagnate.

Don’t be like the lion with so many things to focus on that you can never make any progress.  Determine the critical steps needed for your success, and create the habit of performing only those steps everyday.  You must have laser focus; you can’t stroll to a goal.

Step 3: Act Now

Last, but never least, is to get into action today, because tomorrow never comes.  When you get into what you are calling tomorrow, you will rename it today.  Decide what your end result will be today, determine the critical steps needed to achieve it, and start performing those activities right now.

All of the self development material in the world is worthless, if we never act on it.  We’ve talked about progress long enough; it’s now time to apply what we know, so we may grow.

Get your Personal Self Improvement Questions Answered here!

Mr.SelfDevelopment is a guest blogger for PickTheBrain and the founder of MrSelfDevelopment.com.

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The Little Book of Productivity

Time is our most valued asset. Our most precious resource.

Many people claim that they are overworked, over-stressed, and incredibly pressed for time. While I don’t know if that’s necessarily true or not, I can say that time is something that’s always on everybody’s mind.

In the personal development world, we often think of time as something we “spend,” and when we want to grab more time for an activity, time is something we then “create.” But is that really true? The fact is that you can never really create any more time than what you’ve been given. You can free up time. But you can never truly create more of it.

In this post, I want to explain four easy tips to help you find more time to do the activities you love. Let’s get to it!

1. Take an entire day off for relaxation.

The first tip I have might seem a bit counter-intuitive, but it’s worked wonders for me.

When you’re feeling as if you have too much on your plate, one of the best things you could ever do is clear everything off of your plate. Just let all nonessential responsibilities slide to the side for the day. True, something urgent might pop up, and you probably won’t be able to be relinquished of all of your responsibilities, but a day of relaxation can seriously free up your mind.

Instead of stressing out and trying to find little ways to cut corners here and there to free up time, take a day off just to let your mind think and relax. When the next day rolls around, see if you can spot any ways to more efficiently and productively schedule your time. By taking a day off, you gain an outsider’s perspective into your time management dilemma. You can take a step back, clear your mind, and tackle your challenges with a fresh perspective.

2. Swap time given to one activity with to another activity.

Fairly simple, right? Choose one activity that you do that really doesn’t need to be done, and replace it with a better activity.

Instead of watching TV for an hour, go build your online business. Instead of idly reading cheap romance novels that don’t have much inherent value, go connect with your family members and friends. With this method, you’re taking large chunks of time already devoted to certain activities and reassigning that time to something else.

3. Be consciously aware of what you’re doing.

Everybody’s been in those tricky situations where they’re pressed to meet a deadline and the project they’re working on isn’t quite done yet. Whether it be for school or work, you know the dreadful feeling of the clock ticking faster and faster as the deadline quickly approaches.

What happens to your productivity in these situations? It naturally shoots up like a rocket. When suddenly nothing else matters but the project that’s due in two hours, you somehow magically manage to get it completed. Why do you think this is? It’s because you were consciously aware of what you were doing. When you don’t have time to waste on anything, you become acutely aware of the time.

What if you lived your life like this, just for a day? For one day, don’t just go through your daily motions. Be totally aware of how you’re spending your time. Keep a clock by you at all times and notice what you’re spending your time on. Are you going to be speeding up certain tasks and taking your time with other ones? How is your time going to be managed if you completely realize that there’s only a certain amount of minutes in a day?

4. Trim the fat off of what you’re already doing.

Do you really need an hour to do a task that you know you can complete within 45 minutes? Go though all of the tasks you do, estimate the time it takes you to complete all of those tasks, and see if you can snip away extra minutes. Try doing hour tasks in 45 minutes; try doing 30 minute tasks in 20 minutes.

Some tasks will naturally take too long if you give yourself too much time, such as writing a new blog entry or cleaning up your house. Most of the time, it doesn’t take long at all for people to get into the flow of things, so they mindlessly procrastinate because they’ve given themselves so much time towards completion. Don’t let this happen to you! Force yourself to get your work done in less time, and then assign those minutes to something else worthwhile. Make a schedule and document the true value of time that needs to be dedicated to each task. If you’ve figured you can do something in 30 minutes, and you’ve laid out that plan for yourself, it is far easier to get it done within that allotted time.

Getting things done in a thought out, timely matter, will end up generating a lot more free time to spend on the things you really love doing. Not only will you accomplish more, but getting to the point and getting things done you will also free up your mind, so you are not distracted by all of the things you haven’t yet accomplished and you will be able to put your full energy into every moment.

What are some of your suggestions for reclaiming and reassigning your lost time?

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Matt is a guest blogger for PickTheBrain.com and  is the founder of Refocused Living – a personal development blog dedicated to genuinely helping people out through all aspects of self-improvement.

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It has been 7 years since my graduation day and I still remember the excitement; I was relieved that the ”exam phase” of my life was over; I looked with enthusiam towards my first job. Little did I know that the “working world” would require an extraodinary effort and loads of other skills!

My journey on the career ladder would have been smoother, had I known a few important lessons. While there are many ”on the job” lessons, some things in life must be experienced, to be truly understood. What follows are 8 such career lessons, I wish they’d handed out to me along with my diploma.

1. Your career is not your life. Many of us rely heavily on our careers for satisfaction in our lives. We get immersed in the day-to-day rush of our work and discover that we no longer have the time, energy or inspiration.
For some people (my former self included), it’s as if our jobs are part of our bodies, and if we don’t see ourselves as successful in them, we feel almost physically unhealthy. As a result, we question ourselves when things aren’t going in the direction we hoped. Consciously separating your self from your career allows for a greater perspective on both.

2. Be indispensible (at least one area)
There are certain things that you can do, or that you can learn to do, that can make you extraordinarily valuable to yourself and to others. Identify your special areas of uniqueness and then to commit yourself to becoming very, very good in those areas.
Take stock of your unique talents and abilities on a regular basis. What is it that you do especially well? What are you good at? What do you do easily and well that is difficult for other people? Identifying what separates you from thoses around you, and concentrating on those skills will make your unique skill set invaluable and hard to replace.

3. Don’t grow stale in your career. We live in a world where technology is evolving rapidly. This has a direct consequence on your career. Stay up to speed on the latest happenings in your field. Read various articles and books to keep your mind sharp. Attend seminars at your present job if offered. Seek out mentors who can advise or educate you. Don’t become comfortable with the status quo or complacent about things you are already good at – you can always be better, so taket he time to find out how.

4. Guard your time like a hawk. At work, we often find ourselves bombarded with ‘urgent’ requests. All of these urgent requests can disrupt the thinking processes. Sometimes it may take twice as long to get something done, simply because of the interruption. Learn to say No (with good reason!) and prioritize your tasks.

5. Polish your people skills. You may do your job well, even so well that no one can complain. But you never seem to get ahead. Sound familiar?
People issues can be one of the main reasons people leave jobs. It can also be a cause for dissatisfaction and reduced productivity. Bottom line: you need people skills to move up.

6. Communicate effectively. No matter what career path you choose to follow, you have to have good written and oral communication skills to get ahead in your career.
Make a real effort to listen to everything that’s being said to you. Observe and learn from others who make it seem effortless.

7. Keep your cool. We sometimes forget that we are in a professional environment and tend to curse and behave like a teenager. Whatever happens, don’t explode or throw your arms up in resignation. Keep your mind clear at the worst of times and you’ll be able to handle anything. There’s nothing more respectable than being calm under fire. So take a deep breath, or a walk around the block, and find away to diffuse your frustration before you address whatever the problem is.

8. Shield your reputation. The people you hang out with will add value or break your good name. Also, if you spend time with people who gossip and tear others down, you are likely to catch it too.
So, identify ways to develop and maintain a professional image that is positive and genuine. Surround yourself with positive people who seek to grow and improve.
Looking back at your career, what has been most responsible for your success? Any lessons you would like to add to this graduation day handout?

Shamelle is a Guest Blogger for PickTheBrain and the founder of The Enhance Life, a blog offering real life wisdom, for modern life growth.

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How many times have you sat in rage-inducing, morning rush hour traffic, cursing your boss for making you come in early to finish that report, when clearly you would have already had the report finished if you’d only been allowed to write it from home instead of sitting in this car!?

How many times, distracted by your coworker, whose high-pitched laugh while regaling her BFF on the phone about a ‘hysterical’ new Facebook post, have you cringed thinking to yourself, if only I were working from home I wouldn’t have these distractions!

How many times in a week do you find yourself thinking, if only I could work from home I would be so much more productive!

Well, according to last months’ Time Magazine – The Future of Work issue, more and more employees and employers are opting for new and innovative ways to redefine the workplace, the most common of which, is changing it – more specifically from your office to your home. And while I hear upon writing this, a chorus of working stiffs belting out Hallelujah!, before you jump into your new way of life (conference call in your pajamas, anyone?!) – a life free of stress, bureaucracy, and office politics – I caution you to remember the old adage: Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it.

While without question, if done correctly, working from home will yield more productivity, less wasted time, and generally improve your quality of life, if done incorrectly you will see the exact opposite happen to the point where your job itself, may be threatened. And with the exuberance of being ‘free’ there is the risk that you will throw yourself into your new situation, without proper preparation. Simple upfront planning will ensure your success and increase your satisfaction factor.

1. Discipline: This is the single hardest part of working from home. Looks easy from your crowded cubicle, but simply not true. First you must honestly ask yourself what kind of person you are: Are you the type of person that works better in a structured environment? Or do you thrive with this type responsibility? Remember once you’re working at home there’s no rush hour and no pesky coworker to blame: your performance will be judged solely on you. If you are going to work from home, understand you’ll have to be ruling yourself with a stiffer fist. The general rule of thumb that I’ve found works is: If you wouldn’t do it at your old office (i.e. take 5 calls from Francine about her blind date last night) don’t do at your new office. I have found that the transition from office to home office is made significantly easier if you start working from home on a part time basis, and then gradually make the transition to full time from home.

2. Scheduling: One of the most important and overlooked aspects of working from home is creating a schedule. Just because you’re not required to be somewhere at 9 and can’t leave until 5, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have a firm schedule. It is absolutely necessary to write out a weekly schedule for yourself – and stick to it. Working from home can come with many distractions – i.e. all of a sudden that bookshelf you’ve avoided for weeks needs to be dusted right now – and if you aren’t strict about your working hours they will quickly escape you. One of the other pratfalls is that when working from home there is no limit to how much you can be doing – theoretically you could be working 24 hours a day. So it is important to make clear guidelines about where your time will be spent everyday.

3. Create the appropriate space: When working from home, one of the big challenges is keeping your ‘home’ life from your ‘work’ life, otherwise with time both worlds will blur into one, leaving you feeling like you’re always working and never living. If your space allows it, designate one room to be used specifically and ONLY for your office – while it would be more comfortable to sit on your couch writing that report (like I am right now…horrible, horrible, horrible!) it is important to have a concrete spatial divide. If you don’t have the space available, craft out a corner which again is reserved for ‘work’ time only.

4. Separating work from home: Building on creating different spaces, your entire work practice should be separated from your living practice. Though at first it might seem sooo productive to be doing your laundry while taking a conference call, it’s actually not, and most probably both tasks will suffer as a result. Use the time you have allotted to work, to work, conversely use the time you’ve allotted for personal chores, for personal chores. It is also a good idea to get out of your house on designated breaks, i.e. lunch, afternoon break. Go for a walk around the block or eat your lunch outside. Being trapped in your house day and night has many negative long term effects, both personally and professionally.

5. Staying Connected: Just because you’ve said Hasta La Vista to your office, doesn’t mean you should say the same to your colleagues. One of the bigger risks of working from home is becoming isolated and out of the loop. Make the effort to reach out to colleagues you have a good rapport with – suggest a group happy hour drink/coffee once a month. Most jobs and careers still benefit from making connections and having in person relationships. Meeting up once a month will keep you abreast of relevant insider information that will invariably help you in the long run.

Got any working-from-home advice or stories that can help? Please feel free to comment below! (Only if you’re on a break!!)

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