Are you having a hard time getting motivated? Know what you want to do, but it’s a challenge kicking yourself in the butt to get up and do it?

You’re being haunted by the un-motivation demon. Fortunately, there are 5 ways to slay it.

You could be making attempts to get out there and do what you’re setting out to do. And even begin to get results here or there. But your surroundings, circumstances, and negative or lazy forces around you constantly hold you back. They pull you back to where you started. And you get discouraged or convince yourself you can’t do it.

That’s the un-motivation demon at work.

And if you want to turn your dreams into reality, your quest is to slay the un-motivation demon.

You can get motivated – and stay motivated. You can turn your dreams into reality. And it’s not as hard as you think.

It just requires an initial effort to change your environment into a positive one. Once you’ve turned these things into a habit, your new proactive environment will be auto-motivating – you’ll have a hard time not getting motivated.

5 Ways to Slay the Un-Motivation Demon

1. Ditch Friends That Hold You Back: Spend less time with friends that just want to “hang out” and not talk about taking steps towards your dream or ideal lifestyle, making more money, etc. Especially stop being around those that say you can’t do something.During college, I had some friends that I just hung out with. I had ambitious and adventurous ideas on business and non-9-to-5 lifestyle, but I didn’t have anyone to talk to. And the idea of entrepreneurship evoked responses of “get real” or “yeah right.” So for years I wouldn’t be motivated, and even doubting myself sometimes. But when I started finding new people‚Äîones that motivated and inspired me‚ÄîI begun spending less time with the aforementioned friends. And it made all the difference: the discouraging talks began to be replaced with a can-do attitude.To slay the un-motivation demon, you need to have people ask you “why not” rather than “why.”So where do you find those people? You’ll meet them when you…
2. Go to Seminars: Go to entrepreneurial or other motivational seminars and just start talking to someone. The conversation will instantly turn into something motivating.You’re all there because you have a similar proactive mindset, so you can bounce your ideas off of others and have them discuss how you can make it happen, rather than shutting you down or telling you to get real. This kind of encouragement is very motivating.When I went to my first entrepreneur seminar, it was like a whole new tribe of people opened up to me. Here I was surrounded by like-minded ambitious, take-charge-of-my-life people. Ones that didn’t settle and had their eye on the prize of their ideal lifestyle. I had found my people. I kept going to more and more seminars, talking and meeting more new people (some of which became awesome friends over the years). It became easier to believe in myself and stay motivated – I had an increasingly supportive community around me.Want more people like this? Then…
3. Join Meetup Groups and Clubs: Find and join meetup groups related to what you want to do. Meetup.com is great for finding local meetup groups.Not only will you be able to do your new activity with other passionate people but, just like at seminars, talking to someone there will have the conversation instantly become motivating. Plus, there’s a good chance some of these people can turn into friends – ones much more compatible to your emerging proactive lifestyle.There was a business plan club in college that I joined. We helped each other come up with and develop business ideas. The insane amount of “why not” questions and attitudes hugely motivated me. No shooting down, no “get real” comments – just pure proactive energy. That, combined with the seminars I was attending (and not spending time with the aforementioned unmotivated friends), gave me the surge of motivation to confidently slay the un-motivation demon.Okay, but what about when you’re not around these people? You can…
4. Listen to Audiobooks and Podcasts: Start listening to motivational, personal development, or business audiobooks and podcasts throughout day. Like when you’d normally listen to music.Even if you know all of the material and will learn nothing new (which is unlikely, but I’m just throwing it out there), you’ll get motivated by the positive and proactive words. And hearing a passionate person tell you this through your headphones is more motivating than simply reading words.After those first seminars, my motivation level would drop. I had to find a way to keep that level up in between seminars – at least until the motivational mindset developed into a habit. Solution: a portable music player + motivational podcasts and audiobooks. When I wasn’t around proactive people, I could still listen to a proactive person throughout the day, in between classes and during walks. That really helped keep the motivation level up to when I got to my computer and resumed working.And finally…
5. Do, Do, Do: Spend time each day actually doing what you’re setting out to do.This may seem like slapping-your-forehead common sense, but many people get so caught up in trying to motivate themselves that they don’t actually do much of, well, doing. When you do your activity, you enjoy yourself and start getting results, which motivates you to keep going.I couldn’t become a writer by not writing. I couldn’t become an entrepreneur by not building an online business. Everything else gave me the motivation to keep writing and planning an online business, but doing those activities is what produced results and gave me the ultimate weapon of confidence to slay the un-motivation demon once and for all. From co-building my first profitable online business with a friend to getting remarkable readers on my site Lifebeat, the results kept me motivated and pushed me to try harder.Turn the above 4 things into habits in order to get and stay motivated. But don’t forget to actually do the things that’ll turn your dream into a reality. Getting desired results is the greatest motivation of all.

Slay the Un-Motivation Demon

Is the un-motivation demon standing between you and turning your dreams into reality? Does lack of motivation hold you back from doing what you really want to do?

Use the above 5 ways to slay the un-motivation demon. You’ll form habits that get you motivated, stop you from settling for less, and let you do what you really want to do.

Oleg Mokhov is a writer, musician, and adventurer who explores unconventional life-maximizing ideas and makes energizing electronic dance music at Lifebeat. You can read more about maximizing your own life in his Life Maximization Guide.

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“Beth” courtesy of Michael Nye

‘”Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will spend its whole life thinking it is stupid.” Albert Einstein.

Ever been told you’re a perfectionist, too sensitive or that you dream or think too much?

To have a high degree of creative intelligence is a gift — but because our society, schools and workplaces privilege more conventional and conformist intelligences, it is not always experienced that way. If you, or your nearest and dearest, do not understand what it means to becreatively intelligent, in everyday terms, a great deal of suffering can ensue.

“In a society that doesn’t appreciate them, creative abilities are often labeled and experienced as liabilities,” says Mary Taylor, LCSW, of the Creative Intelligence Centre. “Highly creative people often face a lifetime of hardship and psychological pain because they do not see themselves or their abilities clearly.  The abilities of highly creative people are frequently hidden under…emotional, occupational andrelationship difficulties.”

While the [creative] person is all too aware of their problems, they are often unaware of their abilities.  This, allied with the fact that they live in a society that prefers linear, rational thinking and behaviour, makes them try to fit into situations that don’t suit them — and thenblame themselves when that doesn’t work out. Hence: “I’m too sensitive”; “I’m too much of a perfectionist”; “I think too much”.

These erroneous conclusions can do “major damage” to self image, says Taylor, and ”attempts made at correcting a problem from this vantage point are frequently unsuccessful because the initial interpretation was in error. Their deepest turmoil often stems from the fact that although they feel they are capable, they are unable to bring their talents into the world in a recognizable or tangible form. They often feel confused in their attempts to figure this ‘puzzle’ out.”

Over time, self-blame and lack of understanding leads many bright, creative people into marginalized lives as adults — underemployed,dissatisfied and often in tremendous psychological pain.

First Stage Problems (Issues that stem directly from the ability itself)

• Depression caused by a lack of creative and intellectual fulfillment – environments which are creatively or intellectually under-stimulating.
• Feeling overwhelmed by the difficulties of managing high ideaphoria and divergent thinking patterns – a high flow of ideas and the capacity to process thoughts on multiple levels simultaneously.
• Sensory overload resulting in anxiety, irritability and fatigue brought on by the combination of strong sensory skills and environmental stimulation.

Significant questions in making an assessment of such problems include:

• “Am I really ‘obsessive compulsive’ or do my finely tuned visual abilities mandate I create an environment of visual beauty and order?”
• “Do I actually have a biochemical depression, or am I an imaginative person living among a plethora of concrete thinkers?”
• “Do I have ADHD or am I attempting to physically keep up with my numerous ideas and interests through multiple projects and activities?”

Second Stage Problems (When first stage problems are ignored or misattributed).

• Identity Problems – Many highly creative people accept mistaken notions about themselves including beliefs of being “too sensitive,” “too emotional,” “too much of a perfectionist,” “thinking too much,” and having “too many ideas.”  These negative descriptions can result in damage to one’s self image and failure to identify the raw ability that may behidden under the perceived problem.
• Adjustment Problems – Many highly creative people struggle because they do not see themselves or their abilities clearly. This can result in the experience of going from job to job or relationship to relationship and wandering through life desperately looking for a purpose.
• Academic Problems – Highly creative individuals often have aptitudes that lie outside the realm of standardized tests, which typically favour linear thinking and the logical/mathematical and linguistic aptitudes. Academic problems can also stem from a lack of compatibility between learning style and teaching style. For example, when a linear-thinking teacher expects a divergent-thinking student to solve a problem using a step-by-step approach, while excluding inductive and intuitive problem-solving methods.
• Medical Conditions – “In my psychotherapy practice, I have witnessed a high correlation between individuals with multiple creative aptitudes and the existence of certain types of medical conditions, most often in the form of allergies, immune deficiencies, thyroid problems and metabolic disorders,” says Taylor.

First and second stage problems are not the result of something intrinsically “wrong” with the person, though that is how they are often experienced.  Rather, they are the result of the stress that accompanies living with unidentified creative aptitudes in a society that does not understand or nurture creative intelligence. “Since creative aptitudes are physiologically based and cannot be “turned off,” first and second stage problems are likely to be compounded over time if effective interventions are not employed.” Taylor says.

What is Creative Intelligence?

Creatively intelligent people don’t necessarily work as writers or artists or in any field labelled ‘creative’. Many work “regular” jobs and may not think of themselves as creative at all. Creative intelligence has little to do with particular activities and more to do with a way of meeting and understanding life.  I define it is “the ability to engage intention and attention in a way that goes beyond the given”.

Applying our creative intelligence invites us to keep both heart and eyes wide open to the emerging moment. We’d all be more creative if we paid less attention to the surfaces, our doings and achievements, our ambitions and desires; and more attention to the depths, the hidden forces and faculties that lie within ourselves and others, within all things and all experiences. We insist on burnishing our worries and wants and wishes, until we are blind to what’s in front of our eyes.

We insist on resounding our opinions, until we’ve drowned out  the whispers of  our hearts. So we fail to see the true visions, to hear the sound of other spheres. And the eternal stream folds back into the infinite nothing, from whence it came, having flowed past our skin instead of through our blood.

Are You Highly Creative?

Use the questionnaire below to examine more deeply how you have experienced this ability in your life — particularly when the ability has been labeled a liability.  What was going on in those times? Did you blame yourself?  If you look back through the lens of seeing yourself as a highly creative person, with an unrecognized gift, how does that change your perception of the event?

For best results, take a notebook and pen and F-R-E-E-Write your answers to those questions.

Do you feel different from those around you or that you are on a different “path” than most?

Have you been told you “think too much” or are “too much of a perfectionist”?

Do/did your schoolteachers berate you for daydreaming or staring out the window?

Were you told you were too ”giddy” or “disruptive” at school?

Do you experience a level of imaginative activity that few around you seem to understand?

Do you believe you have “too many” interests?

Have you been told you are “overly emotional”?

Do you go from project to project?

Do you carry a lot of unfinished projects in your mind?

Do you sometimes feel overwhelmed by the numerous ideas and projects you generate?

Are you more affected than others seem to be by environmental stimuli, e.g the weather, bright lights, loud music, other people’s moods?

Have you been told you are “too sensitive”?

Do you feel dissatisfied and unfulfilled in many of your relationships?

Do people frequently ask you for advice — while you feel there is no one who understands you?

Do you believe you are not achieving what you could be in your work, despite a high degree of competence, ability and experience (and perhaps achievement too)?

If you answered “Yes” to more than 3 of these questions, you are indeed highly creative.

——————————————

Orna Ross is a novelist who promotes creative intelligence for writers, artists & everyone — through her books, speaking appearances and The Creative Intelligence Blog. Her most recent novel is “A Dance in Time” which mixes fact and fiction through the lives of two Iseults: one, a fictional contemporary writer, accused of killing her father, the other an actual historical character, Iseult Gonne– daughter of Maud Gonne, the famous Irish revolutionary and muse to the poet WB Yeats. Orna Ross is currently working on a new novel and a nonfiction book, ‘Go

Creative, It’s Our Native State’.

http://www.ornaross.com

http://www.creativeintelligenceblog.com

Image courtesy of Laffy4k at Flickr

Is creativity something that can be tapped? If you are anything like me, creativity can seem elusive; something that comes in waves or that is unpredictable. But we can learn to be creative – like anything it is a process. There are things we can do to harness this power and unleash it:

Release perfectionism

Perfectionism is the biggest killer of creativity. Notice when you are approaching a task and have ‘am I doing it right’ or ‘will it be good enough’ thoughts and do it anyway! Start practicing doing things even when you don’t know if you can do them perfectly or how they will turn out.

Have fun

In our society we are often taught that we should have a goal or an aim and an outcome to an activity in order for it to be successful. Creativity isn’t linear. Start doing purely things for the enjoyment factor.

Practice

Practice being creative often! You don’t necessarily have to show others your creations, but the act of making creativity a ritual will help your brain get used to being creative and keep the flow going.

Be present

Being present and living in the moment helps us to get in touch with our creative side. We need time and space to let our creativity pour forth. Try and be aware of how present you are being every day.

Relax

Creativity thrives in a relaxed mind. The more stressed or contracted we are, the less creativity can come forward. Find ways to relax and wind down. A massage, long walk or watching a good movie are great ways to do this. Find what works for you and do that.

Daydream

The lost art of day dreaming is a powerful tool for evoking creativity. Take time out to day dream and let your mind wander. You can even say that it is in the name of creativity!

Find what works for you

We all have different ways and times that we get inspired. Start noticing yours. Are you a morning creative or a night owl? We are all different. Find your way. Take notes oif necessary to track your most creative times.

Catch the wave

When inspiration hits, catch the wave! We all have ebbs and flows in creativity. When I am inspired I feel like I am on fire! Nothing can stop me. Use these times to your advantage and go with the creative flow.

Catch your ideas

Sometimes inspiration hits when we just can’t follow the flow immediately, for example when we are about to go into an important meeting or when we are driving! Carry a notebook or Dictaphone to catch your ideas and come back to them as soon as you can.

Brainstorming

Brainstorm often! Whatever your creative ‘niche’ is get in the habit of brainstorming and letting your ideas and visions flow forward without censoring them. Let your imagination soar and don’t hold back!

Be in nature

Being in nature has the power to help us be present, unleash our creativity and get us in touch with a different aspect of ourselves. When you are stuck go for a walk in a park or by the sea … whatever is available to you. Take in your surroundings and let nature work its magic on you – it is after all, the supreme source of all things creative.

Feed the well

We need to ‘feed the well’ of inspiration. Make sure you are spending time regularly ‘feeding’ your inspiration. Start keeping track of what inspires you and taking time regularly to participate in this. You should even set a time aside each week to do this.

Jennifer Smith is a Guest Blogger for PickTheBrain and a successful life coach @ ReachOurDreams.

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The Secret To Creativity

Breaking news! Most Americans don’t like their jobs. The results of a new Conference Board study show 55% of Americans are dissatisfied with their work, which was the lowest level ever recorded in more than 22 years of studying the issue.  Is it just me, or are these results completely NOT shocking?

It’s like the groundbreaking research the University of Waterloo conducted that showed “smoking in a car poses a potentially serious hazard to occupants — particularly children.” Sorry sweetie, daddy didn’t realize that lighting up in the minivan was bad for you. Soon they’ll discover exercise can help you lose weight (whoops, it appears a recent study confirms this).

Do you want to know what I find shocking about the job satisfaction survey? That more people don’t hate their jobs. My guess is that when people were asked if they were satisfied with their jobs they either lied to the researcher or they’ve been lying to themselves.

Most of the people I talk to are “dissatisfied,” to put it nicely, with their jobs. Why? They don’t feel like they are contributing to anything meaningful, they aren’t passionate about what they do, and they don’t feel like their best talents are being utilized — especially in today’s economy where those who still have jobs are doing the work of two or three others.

They don’t jump out of bed on Monday morning because they are just “doing time,” as one person told me. Part of the reason for this lethargy is that most people feel underutilized and don’t have the flexibility to do what they do best. They get boxed into positions and job descriptions that they can do adequately, but that usually doesn’t tap into their core strengths. “If only my boss would let me…” is a common complaint among those who feel stuck in positions that don’t capitalize on their unique strengths.

So what’s the solution? In this case there are two solutions:

1. New Job. First, you can get a new job that you love — one that pays you well financially and emotionally. A job, no, a calling that you are passionate about. Of course, with the real unemployment rate at nearly 20%, this is much harder than it sounds; but if you know what that “one thing” is that you would love to do, go get it. Do whatever it takes to get that career. If it requires going back to school, do it. If it requires a move or even a pay cut, do it. It is so easy for a decade to fly by and to wake up one morning and ask yourself, “Where did the last ten years go?” You might not be able to switch careers overnight, but you can start using the other 8 hours to get closer to your dream job.
2. Use Your Other 8 Hours. The second solution is to keep your day job, but do something in the other 8 hours that both inspires you and that you excel at. This is why creating during the other 8 hours is so much fun. You create your own job description. You are your own boss and you can focus on what it is you enjoy the most and do the best. It also explains why you find some people who never want to retire and work 60 hours a week for 50 years, but claim they’ve never worked a day in their life. If you love what you do, it doesn’t feel like work.

Your day job might drain you, but if you want a shot of energy and inspiration, do something that moves you at night. If that involves researching why people wear clothes when it gets cold, you can save yourself some time thanks to the latest research out of Australia.

For a limited time, you can download several free resources (assessment, poster, audio interview, video, and more) at www.other8hours.com and learn more about my new book, The Other 8 Hours: Maximize Your Free Time to Create New Wealth & Purpose.

“Mosk” courtesy of Maciej Mizer

Our life is what our thoughts make it. Life is neither good or evil, but only a place for good and evil. ~Marcus Aurelius

A belief is something you consider to be true. You cannot decide to believe one thing this week and another, opposing thing, next week. You might think you can, but it really doesn’t work like that. I read recently that baby circus elephants are tied to a strong metal post with a heavy chain because they will try to escape and expend a lot of energy on pulling at their tether. After some time, they accept that they will not be able to escape and so stop pulling. The adult elephants are tethered to a wooden stake with a light rope: they could easily escape, but they believe they are unable to do so, and so the light tethering works as a kind of symbol of their bondage. It is clear that whether your beliefs are true or not is irrelevant. What matters is what you regard to be true. It seems to me that this is a good definition of ‘belief.’

People believe all sorts of things for all sorts of reasons. Some beliefs are trivial and others are very important, but two things are certain:

1. Our underlying beliefs operate at a deep, subconscious level, and
2. These underlying beliefs affect what we experience in life, including our level of success or failure in any endeavor.

Where do these beliefs come from?

Philip Larkin said ‘They f**k you up, your mum and dad.’ Which might seem a bit cruel, but then he did admit that ‘they do not mean to, but they do.’ What he’s saying, of course, is that we learn our worldview from our parents, and if our parents think that life is a struggle and that money and success don’t come easily, then this will be our ‘defaults mode,’ too. We spend many years being ‘drip fed’ these beliefs and they get embedded deep in our subconscious. It’s fine to say ‘just change your beliefs,’ but it’s not always so easy. We have picked up many limiting beliefs from parents, teachers, friends, religion (dare I say?) and society in general. Some of these beliefs are holding us back, so doesn’t it make sense that we should want to shed them?

Do we really want to get rid of these beliefs?

Actually, it’s not that simple. We can get a tremendous payback from some apparently harmful and limiting beliefs. I’m sure we all know people who seem to identify themselves as a victim, believing that they are helpless and needing someone to look after them or ‘save’ them. These people get a feeling of security (they don’t have to try to be better or take any risks because they know it’s pointless and they will fail), and they get people running around after them, looking after them.

We need to look at our beliefs and examine what kind of payback we are getting from them and so why we might not want to let go of them. Some examples of limiting beliefs might be:

• Everyone is selfish
• People are always trying to rip you off
• There isn’t enough to go around so you have to grab what you can
• You can be struck down by circumstances (illness, accident) at any time
• It’s not my fault that my life is like this

All of these beliefs do something for us; they give us some validation or some comfort. But they are simply beliefs. Deeply engrained, to be sure, but only beliefs and so susceptible to change. Shedding these beliefs may cause some pain, but growth is often accompanied by pain, and I am confident that they pain of growth is a small price for the loss of a lifetime of limitation.

Change your beliefs and change your life

And so that brings us to the good news – you CAN change your beliefs. I suggest three steps for doing this:

1. Identify a limiting belief (eg Things just happen. I’m not in control of my life)
2. Cast the belief in a different way (I am in control and I consciously orchestrate my experience)
3. Look around for evidence of this new belief. You WILL find it! After a while, this will sink in and you will start to think the new belief is ‘true.’

In a sense, I’m suggesting that you brainwash yourself. This may sound negative, but remember that you’ve already been brainwashed into negative thinking, so some reprogramming won’t hurt. Perhaps ‘condition yourself’ is a better phrase than ‘brainwash.’ It takes time, but you can do it if you really want to.

Beliefs to live by

I believe the following to be true and I see evidence of these statements around me all the time.

• I orchestrate my own experience of life
• Life is naturally abundant. There is enough for everyone
• Life, when lived properly, is easy and happy
• I don’t have to improve myself – I am already as valuable and worthwhile as anyone else
• I can do anything if I apply myself in the right way
• Circumstances arrange themselves and opportunities are presented for my greatest good

The tragedy of much adult life is that our vision is so limited. Like the elephant, we can walk away from our tether any time, but we often don’t because we are shackled by our false and limiting beliefs.

I want to end with a wonderful fable from Anthony de Mello, a man who really seemed to understand the human condition.

An eagle lays an egg but somehow the egg finds its way into a chicken coup. A chicken incubates the egg with all her others and when it hatches, she rears the eaglet as if it were one of her own chicks. It learns to peck the dust for food, to flap its wings and to strut around the farmyard. One day, an eagle flies by overhead. The little eagle looks up and sees this, and says to himself, ‘I wish I were an eagle – how majestic, how free, how beautiful to be like that and have such a life.’ The eagle lived like a chicken and died like a chicken, because that’s hat he thought he was.

Visit Mark at effortlessabundance.com, and check out his new book, Thirty Days to Change Your Life.

Oscar Wilde, as famous for his witty quips as for his plays and novels, once said, “The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on. It’s never of any use to oneself.” Although we can take Wilde’s maxim with a grain of salt, he makes a good point in his usual ironic way. Listening to advice is difficult because, simply put, it’s very often wrong. On the other hand, you could be given good advice that holds generally, but it’s not applicable to your specific situation. Or, what’s worse, you’ve been given some good advice, but it’s not what you want to hear. You don’t listen, and then you make the very mistake you could have avoided by listening to the advice you asked for in the first place.

While there are no definite rules for listening to advice, here are some basic tips for knowing when to heed suggestions and when, as Wilde said, “to pass it on.”

1. Who’s your source?

If you want to know whether you should listen to someone’s advice, the first thing you should do is impartially evaluate the person advising you. It’s easy to think that since X is your BFF, she’ll know exactly what to do in any given situation. Analyze exactly what your dilemma is, then ask for advice from those who have been in similar situations before.

But, be forewarned that just because someone has been in your shoes before doesn’t mean that your problem will be solved with their same course of action. Cognitive psychologist Daniel Kahneman researched cognitive biases in his paper about focusing illusions . “When people consider the impact of any single factor on their well-being,” writes Kahneman, “they tend to exaggerate its importance; we refer to this tendency as a focusing illusion.” Kahneman suggests that focusing illusions can very often be the main source of error in decision-making.  So, it’s very possible that when you take a friend’s advice based on her being in a similar situation before, you may be focusing on only one aspect of your shared experience, to the irrational exclusion of other factors.

Another big mistake that many people make when asking for advice is selecting the most confident–not the most qualified–person to help them out. A recent NewScientist article describes an advice-taking study conducted by Carnegie Mellon researcher Don Moore. In the study, Moore gave cash to a group of participants whose task was to correctly guess the weight of several different people based only on photographs. However, the participants were not allowed to guess themselves; rather, they had to buy advice from a group of four volunteer advisors. The participants were not allowed to see the advisors’ weight guesses; they were only allowed to see each advisor’s confidence level.  And, just as Moore hypothesized, the advisor who was most confident about his guesses sold the most advice, regardless of his accuracy.

2. Did you pay for the advice? So what?

In another advice-taking study, Harvard Business School researcher Francesca Gina determined that people will give more value to advice when they pay for it, regardless of quality. Gina suggests that people tend to overvalue advice for either two reasons. For one, they buy into the “sunk-cost fallacy,” meaning that, in trying to get their money’s worth, people will take advice simply because they don‘t want to waste funds. Another reason for Gina’s findings may be related to cognitive dissonance, which is a phenomenon that occurs when a person experiences an inconsistency between information one receives and ideas a person believes are true or important about themselves. In Gina’s study, cognitive dissonance occurs when people spend money on advice. Even though the quality of the advice may be poor, they must listen in order to resolve the inconsistency that arises because they feel strongly that they are not the type of person who would spend money unnecessarily.

3. Do you even need advice?

American author Erica Jong once said, “Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn’t.” Jong’s quote speaks to a fairly common phenomenon in which advice-seekers need only positive affirmation about a particular decision in order to proceed. Ali Hale’s recent Pick the Brain blog post, How to Stop Waiting for Permission discusses the counterintuitive notion that you must wait for the go-ahead before you try something you’ve already decided you want to do.

Foregoing advice may be a good idea when we think of the value inherent in learning from mistakes. Tevjan Pettinger, in his Pick the Brain article, “How to Learn from Mistakes”, explains how mistakes are a necessary part of self-improvement. Taking advice to heart too often can lead to a situation in which you are avoiding risk at the cost of potential success. As Theodore Roosevelt once so aptly put it, “Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much because they live in a gray twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat.”

Ever wonder why it seems your dog is in a good mood all the waking hours of the day?  Perhaps adopting a dog’s sleep habits might help you emulate the feeling.

A bad night’s sleep is the worst when it comes to getting things accomplished and feeling good during what should be a great day.  The effects due to lack of sleep on mood, productivity, creativity, and even the quality of our relationships take a bigger toll on our health than most realize.

Anyone who does have trouble sleeping most likely have read all the “regular” things to do in order to get better sleep.  The concept becomes nothing more than a repeated set of rules that get ignored, similar to the simple rules of training a well behaved dog.

Finding a new outlook and different perspective is the answer to changing any sort of habit you’ve developed.  Sleep is no different.  That being the case here are some ideas that may just be on the level of an “ah-ha moment” and getting some quality sleep along the way.

Sleep Like a Dog

Dogs may not have the same stress and anxiety as we do, but they do have certain routines you can practice that prepare you for a great night’s sleep.

Eat Several Hours Before Going To Bed

Following this rule of the paw is much easier when you are dog, generally because dogs get fed only twice a day and they have no other choice.  Getting up off the couch and wandering over to the fridge to aimlessly snack isn’t an option.  Maybe eating like a dog is in order for better health!  Eat at meal times and don’t snack just before going to bed.

Don’t Drink Alcohol

The beverage of choice for a dog is water, again, simply because it is the only thing available.  Taking alcohol out of the picture would most likely find large numbers of people wagging more.  Not such a bad idea, yet we still willingly tip those unwanted calories with bad side effects regularly.  If you have trouble sleeping this may be one to give a serious try.

Reduce the Bright Light of the Computer Screen

Computers, Blackberries, iPhones, the television… we live in a digital age and much of our entertainment comes from our computer screen.  If we aren’t working on them, we are playing on Twitter or Facebook, “chatting” with a friend or catching up on a bit of work before going to sleep.  It is almost a ridiculous thought to make it a rule to limit screen time before bed these days.  If it is an impossibility for you, try dimming the screen, creating a low light effect to enhance preparation for sleep.

Take a Power Nap in a Sunny Spot

Ever notice how your dog will find the spot in the house where the sun is shining through the window creating a nice cozy warm sleeping zone?  Sleep is sleep is sleep and especially if you are lacking enough sleep at night by all means go for the power nap during the day.  Find a cozy warm spot, curl up, catch a few refreshing zz’s just like your dog, and go back to a productive day.

Get Out and Exercise

Most exercise should be done in the morning or afternoon.  Don’t get your heart racing just before you plan on shutting it all down for sleep.  Dogs love the chance to run around and stretch it out first thing in the morning, regardless of the weather, time of year, or lack of coffee.  Head out the door with your dog first thing in the morning to set your day off to a better start.  Numerous studies conclude exercise induces good sleep habits.

Get Enough Sunlight

Dogs typically don’t understand the odd hours we humans have started keeping.  Staying up later and later into the night is becoming normal.  Before we had such great late night television shows available people went to sleep closer to sunset and awoke at sunrise.

Dogs seems to maintain this routine better than people now days.  It may have something to do with the fact that dogs usually get the appropriate amount of sunlight.  There is a real advantage to having to go outside to go to the bathroom!  On any account, getting sunlight every day can help with your sleep cycles so make sure to get outside and soak up some real daylight.

A Comfortable Bed

Dogs sleep in many positions.  Most dogs have a little ritual before laying down.  Fluff up the bed, turn around three times and curl up in a nice warm little ball.  Once in a deep sleep you’ll see dogs roll over on their back completely stretched out.  Comfortable.  Asleep.  Set your sleeping space up so it is comfortable and dark, with room to curl up and stretch out in your best slumbering moments.

Think of it as your den.  Take the time to slow down and get away from the computer, the phone, TV and the hustle bustle of the world.  Take a rest in your own comfy den and come out refreshed and ready to wag.

Jt Clough is a professional dog trainer and writes at  www.DogTrainingSanDiego.com Creating a balanced life with calm dog training techniques through her long time commitment to health and fitness, Clough a finisher of 9 Ironmans, and creator of dog running programs inspires people by introducing playtime in life through the eyes of a dog.

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3 Roadblocks To Success

The Path To Success

"Glitch" courtesy of Luiza O.S @Flickr

Chances are you've got success on the brain if you're reading this article.  You've set your goals, you're on your way to achieving your dreams.  But they're not coming as fast as you would like.  You're ready for it to all come true right now.  You set a deadline to reach your goal, but it just didn't happen in that timeframe.  And now you feel a little deflated.  Maybe you've even allowed a little doubt to creep in, as you're not sure when (or if) it will ever happen.

You know what a missed deadline tells you?
It's just a feedback mechanism to tell you that your plans and execution of them weren't correct for the timeline you set.  You're not a failure.  You've just produced a result.  It may not be the result you wanted, but don't fret, because sometimes our greatest lessons come from when we get what we didn't want.  Maybe the deadline was too tight.  Maybe your plans weren't sound.

You're not the only one to not reach a goal or hit a bump in the road.
Michael Jordan didn't make his high school basketball team.  Famous author J.K. Rowling was living on welfare when she wrote the first Harry Potter book, the start of a series that went on to make her spectacularly rich.

So what do the champions do during the process of making their dreams come true?

1. Grin and bear it.  You probably didn't want to hear this.  You want to hear me say "you can have it all right now."  Sorry, good self help isn't like a fast food restaurant slogan.  Sometimes there will be times when your energy levels are off or something else happens in your life forcing you to put your dreams on hold for a just a bit.  It's for those challenging times that you have to do your best and tackle all the challenges in front of you.  Yes, you'll have failures along the way but when Michael Jordan he bore the rejection by practicing even more.
2. Take a time-out. You're saying, "what do you mean relax?  How can I relax when I've done everything I can and my dreams still aren't coming true."  Remember, throughout history, the great men and women who changed our world have found their greatest ideas when they were away from their usual routines.  For instance, when he was a teenager, Albert Einstein spent some time in Italy with his parents enjoying the beauty of Italy's Apennine mountains.  It was during this time he contemplated what would happen if a ray of light became imprisoned.  This idea was to be the foundation of his life's work.  So relax.  You never when the idea you need to bridge the gap between your current reality and your dreams will be found.  But sometimes you need to give yourself the space to find it.
3. Assess whether your current plans are realistic. If you've got 4 kids, a full-time job, and a mortgage, it may be hard to start your own business on the side and have it succeed within a month.  Maybe your dreams aren't coming true by the deadlines you set because your deadlines were unrealistic to begin with.   So make new plans and get underway!
4. Get support. If you're starting your own business, is there someone you know who's been down this road who can give you some advice?  Or, if you're trying to fix your life in some way – overcoming an addiction, healing from a painful past, or getting over an ex-lover – maybe you should consider getting a therapist.  Often times, having a sounding board and a supportive ear can make us feel better and even more motivated to recommit to achieving our goals.
5. Play a game called "15 Ways…" This is a little game I like to play whenever I get stuck on how to break through barriers in achieving goals.  Grab a sheet of paper and brainstorm 15 ways you can overcome whatever obstacle is standing in between you and your goals.  For instance, if you feel it's a lack of time, then brainstorm 15 ways you can create more time in your life.  I like using the number fifteen because I find the first five are usually pretty obvious, but the next 10 are usually a bit harder to come up with.  These are where the novel solutions you didn't think about usually reveal themselves.
6. Pick a hero.  Who in your mind is a noteworthy person you would like to emulate in life?  Are they extremely motivated?  Did they overcome tremendous odds to get where they are today?  Tack a picture of them on your wall.  Everytime you feel like it's too hard or you just can't do it, learn to ask yourself what your hero would do.  Now go do it.
7. Go out and execute every day. If you're done with your time out, then commit to doing one thing for your dreams everyday, no matter how small it is.  Taking action keeps you motivated and gives you momentum in achieving your goals.  Well-worn clichés like "genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration" still hold water today.

A missed deadline is just a chance for growth.  And it makes for a great story about how you overcame obstacles along the way. Every success story has them.  So why shouldn't you?

Are you a child abuse survivor wondering why you're unhappy?  Then get this free report, Why Are You Unhappy? (How To Create Happiness Through Friendship If You're An Abuse Survivor), written especially for child abuse survivors trying to create happiness in their lives.

Adam Appleson is the founder of ZenTactics, a website that helps abuse survivors develop practical personal development skills with articles like One of the Best Free Natural Remedies for Depression That You Can Do In 10 Minutes Or Less. ]]> http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/how-to-use-failure-to-trigger-success/feed/ 17 http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/5-keys-to-successful-living/ http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/5-keys-to-successful-living/#comments Wed, 10 Mar 2010 08:00:50 +0000 Mr.SelfDevelopment http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/?p=1866

“The Good Life” courtesy of Architects 51N4E

Today I want to talk about five keys that will help you live a successful life.  These are five keys that I’ve learned over the years from studying successful people.  These lessons separate those who succeed from those who fail.

We’re all capable of greatness; however, we’re all not willing to reach for it.  This article contains some of the keys that will help you reach for greatness.  If you follow these keys, I believe your life will begin to change.

5 Keys to Successful Living:

1. Discover why you were created

Everything created solves a problem, my eyes see, my ears hear, my nose smells.  Doctors solve medical problems, lawyers solve legal problems, mothers solve emotional problems.  You were created to solve a problem, and your success in life is dependent on your ability to find that problem and solve it.

You see, you will only be rewarded in this life for the problems that you solve for other people, so it’s imperative that you find the problem you solve best, and solve it.

2. Commit to be a Success

Success begins with a decision!  Success does not start when you buy your first Rolls Royce, or your first BMW.

Success is the progressive realization of a worthy goal!  Success is being all that “you” are capable of being.  Success is being your best, giving your best, and living your best.

Anyone can be a success, because anyone can decide to be successful, anyone can decide to give their best.

3. Have Faith in Your Possibilities

If you don’t believe you’re going to succeed, then …you’re probably right.  Faith in your possibilities is what gives you the strength to do the impossible.

If you don’t believe you will succeed, why should anyone else?  Why would anyone support you, if you’re convinced that your ship is sinking?  Work on your faith; learn to believe in the possibilities that lie ahead of you.

There’s nothing you can’t do!

4. Keep Your Life in Balance

What good is it to be wealthy and have no one to share your wealth with?  And it’s certainly not ideal to have people you love, who you can’t afford to give anything to.  Love finds its greatest expression in giving.

Work to keep your life in balance, you can have your cake and eat it to, but you have to plan for it.  Create a daily plan that allows you to be healthy, happy, wealthy, wise, and successful.  Never become so consumed with one area of your life that you let the others slip; labor to live a balanced life.

5. Help Others

To have “small” success, help a small number of people.  To have great success, you must help a great number of people.  Your success is dependent on your ability to help others.  Bill Gates has helped billions of people with his software and operating systems, so he has billions of dollars.  Michael Jordan has entertained millions of people, which is why he has millions of dollars.  To the degree that you help others will be to the degree that you succeed.

In Summary

It’s important to discover why you were created, this is critical; secondly you must commit to be a success.

Additionally, you must have faith in your possibilities, without this, you have no hope.

You must also keep your life in balance, and last, but certainly not least, you must help others.  …And you help others, not so that you can succeed, you help others because you were created to help others, and if you help enough people, the success that is your birthright will be yours.

Thank you for reading and be sure to pass this article along.

Mr. Self Development is a motivational author who teaches a practical guide to success and wealth. Please visit him at Mr. Self Development.com. If you’ve enjoyed reading this article, then you may want to subscribe to his feed, or read one of his most popular articles, “How I Manifested a Seven Bedroom Home at 24.”

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10 Secrets To Success

The Language of Success

There will come a point in your life when you feel that everything seems pointless. If you reach this stage, you need to try to look at your life and start considering what things you need to do to keep the fire in you burning. No matter how old you are, it is important to live a life that is full and happy.

If you no longer have the fire in your burning, there is a big chance that you will easily give up when trials and obstacles come your way. In order to make sure that your motivation to live and love stays strong, here are some tips.

1. Assess Your Life

The first step that you need to do is to take a look at your life. More often than not, people who are bored and unhappy do not really know the things that are beautiful and precious in their lives. They fail to stop what they are doing and to find time in assessing their achievements and losses. Once you have already determined what makes you feel down and bored, you can start to do something about it.

2. Set Goals

Many people who experience tragic or life threatening situations can stay strong and motivated to live because they have the reasons to survive. A cousin of mine who was trapped in a well for three days had the strong will to survive because his family is depending on him and he wants to be alive when his 12-year old daughter graduates from college. In order for you to stay motivated, you better know what you want to get out of life. Set goals so that you have something to look forward to in the future. Even if you are eighty years old, you can still set goals for your life.

3. Be More Positive

One sure way that can bring your motivation down is by thinking negatively. If you keep on thinking of the things that you cannot do and are not capable of achieving, you will surely start wallowing in self doubt and self pity. I once read an article about a woman born without arms who does not only drive a car, but also flies airplanes. If she can surpass hurdles in her life, there is no reason why you can’t do the same.

4. Count Your Blessings

Envy is something that can really put anyone down. Once you are green with envy, you tend to lose focus on your own goals and forget about the good things that are happening in your life. Instead of looking at the other side of the fence and feeling bad, you should try looking inside your life and count your blessings. There is really nothing wrong in admiring other people and wanting to have a comfortable life for as long as these desires will keep you motivated in achieving your goals and will contribute in making you live a comfortable and happy life.

5. Find a Hobby

Doing the same things over and over again can really make people bored. One way of making your life exciting and happy is by finding a hobby and learning new things. What you can do is to try enrolling in classes, like dance or photography, which will help you get excited and motivated. As for me, in order to keep me sane in a monotonous office environment, I collect comic books and toys.

6. Don’t Be Afraid to Change

Lastly, do not be afraid to change. Simply trying a new route to the office or eating at a new restaurant can help perk up your otherwise boring life. Having a new haircut or trying a new hair color may seem trivial for men, but they sure can give you a new image and make you feel afresh.

Author’s Bio:

Discover how you can achieve all that you want in life in The 77 Traits of Highly Successful People. Mark Foo has brought together 48 personal development bloggers and writers to co-author this success eBook that spells out all the success secrets. Claim your FREE copy of the eBook now at http://www.77SuccessTraits.com.