By asking yourself this question will allow the freedoms of your mind to speak it’s truth. No running or wearing a mask or acting. We all know who we aren’t. We aren’t the President of the United States or the Prime Minister of Canada. YET.

What is it that you tell yourself you could never do? Why don’t you trust yourself to do the things you used to daydream about? What is inside of you screaming to come out but the thought of it creates unspeakable amounts of stress for you?

In fact isn’t it actually more stressful NOT doing it? The what if’s, if only’s, I wish I could…

And who first posed the question to you, ‘Who do you think you are?”

Did you know stress is fear?  That’s it. Fear. And what is fear? Fear is an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.

Who decides for you what is a threat, or that something is dangerous? And note the word ‘belief’. A belief is a thought. A belief is something one accepts as true or real; a firmly held opinion or conviction.

Why don’t we all have the same beliefs? Why aren’t we all fearful of the same things? If these fears of ours were real and truly a threat to us, wouldn’t we all be fearing the same thing?

We are all human. We all have the same human needs. We all carry around with us our bodies that require nature and nurture in order to function properly.

So why do we not all fear the shortage of water, or loneliness or disease? Why doesn’t every single person in the world fear the same thing, if all our needs and physical requirements to survive are the same?

Our beliefs. It is our beliefs about things that create disease in our mind and carry forward in our lives. We have bought into the idea(s) of things that aren’t necessarily real. Things will only be real if we ourselves bring them to life.

Isn’t that fantastic news? That we can bring the things we choose to life? You are the actor, director, camera man and heck, even the camera, producer and editor. Imagine the things you can do with this talent. Since you bought into your beliefs you can now do what you want with them. They are yours. No one else’s. And like fingerprints, everybody’s is different.

But you can choose that even though you bought and paid for your beliefs again and again, you got your moneys worth now and it is time to replace them. Like Grandma’s floral chesterfield, it’s time to update.

Now you need to understand the flipside. If you choose to hold on to your old beliefs, the ones that are creating the fear, you are by default not taking responsibility for your own feelings. In this case you are not trusting yourself to handle the new. That is new as in exciting, juices flowing, sparkling eyes, aliveness.

This leads to blame. We blame others and or the circumstances around us. When we do this, we are allowing ourselves to be the victim.

So ask yourself this question:

What are you doing to yourself that is creating the fear within you?

What beliefs are you hanging on to that causes you to create this fear?

What is it worth for you to hang on to it?

What is it worth to you to dispose of it and buy into a new belief?

My name is Suzanne Jones. I am a Certified Hypnotherapist and a Writer. I have a bloghttp://www.pristineperception.com and write based on true experiences. I guide people through either Hypnotherapy or my Writing to regain personal and mental control of their lives. Just one degree of perception change is all it takes.

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How do you relate to others? Is it through talking, games, work, or is it something else?

One of my worst habits in life is being shy. I’m wasn’t naturally attracted to meet with others. It wasn’t because I didn’t like people. It was because of my fear of how people would react. However, around the time I turned 16, I discovered that I had a strong desire to be with people. However, I was deathly shy.

I had no idea how to effectively relate to others. I just passively walked by, and wasn’t relating to others as I should I have. And I hated it. But why was this? Why wasn’t I able to relate to others, even though I desperately wanted?

It was simply because I was too passive.

Your Relationships are your choice

When we choose to relate with others, there are two ways we can do it; Actively or Passively.

I always allowed my parents to lead instead of attempting to build relationships. Another person was always leading my relationship

Passive relationships are ones that exist, but aren’t important to you. These are the relationships that we have with a local cashier, a mechanic you just met, or even friends you see every week at church. You might see each other often, but neither of you extend your relationship beyond your expected roles of co-workers or customer/seller.

An Active relationship is a relationship that you actively are trying to grow and expand on. These include parents, friends, family, and some co-workers. In these relationships, you are actively engaging the other, in order to enjoy and understand the other more.

Both of these relationship styles are a big part of our life. We need all of these relationships. However, Active relationships are the most essential relationship, because they fulfill our natural need for others.

It is the Active relationship that is the most scary. It is where we are more vulnerable and open. It’s where we are more likely to grow.

But too many of us are having only passive relationships because we are afraid of what comes with a true Active relationship: potential pain and broken hearts.

That doesn’t remove the importance of those relationships. However, we can improve and grow how many of these relationships we have.

Learning to Actively engage others

What’s the first step a person can take in building an Active relationship? All you have to do is invest in them.

When we engage with another person, we are choosing to actively invest our time into them. Self-development expert Stephen Covey on described this relational technique as “investing in their emotional bank”. Whenever we relate to others, we are either investing in their emotional bank account, or withdrawing from it. Obviously, when we want people to be interested in us, we need to remove as much personal cost from the others.

What’s the best way to do this? Simply ask questions about them. What person doesn’t love to talk about themselves? However, not every person wants to get to know you. So, asking good questions will help you figure out if these people are even interested in an Active relationship.

You must lead the way

This simple step will help you to build more Active relationships. We are naturally built with a need to Actively relate to people. That’s why we need to take time and meet others. But if you do this, you’ll not only work to find people who care, but you’ll find more fulfillment in all of your relationships.

Christopher Hutton is a Rivendell Sanctuary student and blogger at Liter8 Ideas. Liter8 Ideas is a “curiousity blog”, dedicated to the subject of “useful ideas that make you think”. You’ll find all sorts of ideas that will help you improve your life and your learning.

Holidays are coming! Some are having the times of their life during Winter holidays: parties, friends, celebrations, cheering, sharing, etc.. Some find this time of the year very demanding. Most of us experience something in-between these two extremes: fun in some situation, pressure in others. Joy of sharing time with people we love, uncertainty about how to deal with holidays pressure.

These are 8 steps you can embrace to live joyfully during the holidays. You can live happily by:

-Being present, and accepting

Start with yourself. If you feel joyful in the situation you are now, than enjoy it fully and share it with people around you! No matter what we are conditioned into thinking, joy comes from inside, and grows when shared. Not from the latest gadget on sale, nor from getting a career advancement.

If you feel the current situation is neutral, for example now that you are reading this post and the holidays celebrations are not here yet, then just enjoy the space. Right here and now, everything is fine. When the time for celebrations comes, then you will have plenty of energy and resources to be part of it.

If you find yourself in a situation which is not comfortable, then just breath. Breath in, breath out, Breath slowly, to relax your sympathetic system. You may have your lucky charm, your favourite jokes to tell, etc. However, sometimes you may not be able to use them. Breathing is always with you, so keep it your friend.

Then be aware of people and surroundings. We are all on the same boat, with our ups and downs. With our strengths and question marks. With our funny jokes, and cliches. Accept people as they are, give them space. Most they will respond by accepting you as you are.

Let the “ghosts” of past and future holidays go. Accept the past holidays are gone. Accept the future holidays are far from now. Be in the present moment.

Positive phrasing

For these holidays, and for most of your life, visualize more what you want to be, and less what you want to move away from. If I say you: “do not think about the pink tree!”, what do you visualize? A pink tree! Positive visualizations and course of actions, being/doing what you want to be/do, are more powerful than negative ones (moving away from something).

Recharging

Some of us recharge while being in a group. They feel the energy coming from other beings. Some of us recharge in a quiet environment. Their energy grows while in nature, reading a book, etc. Know what recharges you, and refill your batteries for the holidays.

Embracing diversity

Variety, the spicy of life! The holidays may be a once a life-time (or at least, once in a year) opportunity to get to know better people you meet daily in formal settings. Or to touch base with family members. Any inspiration, for your new year, you can take from them?

Sharing the ride, and volunteering

Can you share with a trusted friend your feelings about the holidays times? Spontaneously, by sharing some of the ups and downs. Without emphasizing any specific aspect.

Balance this “holiday budding” with sharing your real gifts (not the material ones!) with society. Can you volunteer for a shelter, canteen, senior’s group, etc.? By shifting the attention from you to other precious beings, you reconnect with your real nature.

-Eating properly

Holidays are a great time to get to taste again your auntie’s cake, etc. Considering food portions at most of holidays event come in generous sizes, ensure to have at home only healthy ingredients for cooking, like fresh vegetables and fruits. That is your detox time.

If you want to feel calmer, make yourself a relaxing tea before an event, and stay sober during parties. No matter what your priorities are during the holidays, you benefit from feeding your body and mind with appropriate food, in appropriate quantities, when you have most of the saying in your menu’: at home. This ensures you have full energy available.

Exercising

Get plenty of walking, and fresh air. Limit your car usage to the minimum.  If you already have a regular schedule (gym, yoga, pilates, etc.) try to keep it, or modify it to ensure you get your physical activity.

After a generous lunch and some talking, excuse yourself and take a short walk near-by. You can bring some friends/relatives with you, or just have a quiet walk.

Having a plan B

When you are in a quiet environment, where you feel safe and in peace, enjoy the blissful experience. And gently touch one area of your body (ex.: wrist). If, for any reason, you find your inner peace feels shaken during the holidays, just centre your attention on your breath as it is. And gently touch again your chosen spot. Your breath and your peaceful spot have always been there, are there now, and always will be. And so is your ability to enjoy life as it unfolds, during holidays and during the rest of the year.

About the author: Frank is Dharma instructor, life-coach, well-being facilitator. He is Italian and has travelled to over 30 countries and 80 cities. He meet different cultures, sharing the same quest for meaning and joy in life common to all of us. For more free information, and discounts on his eBook/eCourse, please visit: http://www.amareway.org/resolutions-for-new-year/

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How To Prevent Seasonal Mood Disorder

When the winter season arrives, the days begin to get shorter and shorter. During seasonal shifts, it is not uncommon for people to experience alterations in their moods. Commonly, negative feelings and attitudes are associated with the winter months. Though it was once believed to be simply a dislike for the cold; research in recent decades has shown otherwise. Indications suggest that the bad moods that are felt in the autumn and winter are not solely caused by an affinity for the spring and summer seasons.

In fact, since 1984 psychiatrists have been testing and studying the ill effects that people experience during the winter.  Originally theorized by Dr. Norman Rosenthal, negative feelings and emotions during specific times of the year are often attributed to a seasonal disorder. People call it “the winter blues” or “the winter sadness” (though it may occur in summer, occasionally.) Doctors refer to this condition as seasonal affective disorder (S.A.D.). Whatever the name, it is a serious condition and should be treated accordingly.

What the Causes Are

The causes of seasonal affective disorder have been researched and tested by many professionals in the fields of both psychology and psychiatry. The Harvard School of Health has established that one of the leading causes of this ailment is lowered Vitamin D levels in the affected. The reduced daylight in the winter months is a major factor to the existence of this serious malady.

Some of the factors that lead to this disorder (and many other psychological and physical ailments) are genetics, poor exercise/nutrition and poor air quality. Since genetics cannot be altered, environmental conditions and habitual changes should be taken into consideration.

Recognizing S.A.D.

If you have ever noticed a decline in either your happiness or the mood of another during specific seasons, it is highly possible that you have witnessed the effects of S.A.D.

Symptoms vary from person to person. However, some of the more common symptoms are listed below.

·    Reduced motivation

·    Lack of interest in everyday activities

·    Increased or abnormal sleeping habits

·    Insomnia

·    Altered eating habits (many sufferers report eating more carbohydrates)

·    Altered mood or attitude

These are only a few of the many ill effects that the disorder can have on individuals. Taking steps to treat and prevent the disorder can better both your mood and your life; possibly, even the moods of those around you.

S.A.D. Treatment

Light therapy

The first physician to discover and effectively treat S.A.D. was Dr. Rosenthal. He used a medical practice called light therapy to relieve the symptoms of patients. Light therapy can help to return Vitamin D to the body; restoring the necessary levels that are optimal for good health.

In many areas of the world, the period of sunlight experienced daily is gradually reduced with the passing days of autumn and winter. Areas above what is known as the 37th parallel have substantial daylight reduction in the winter. Regions such as San Francisco and Philadelphia are above the 37th parallel. Beijing and Athens also lie above this border.

Sunlight

The sun provides the body with Vitamin D. With less sunlight, the necessary levels of Vitamin D are not supplied to people. It is recommended by health professionals that people get at least 15 minutes of sunlight every day.

Although Vitamin D levels are a leading contributor to the disorder, new studies indicate that there are other significant variables that should be addressed.

Air Quality

New research suggests that air quality may play a major part in this seasonal condition. During the winter, many people are more confined due to the cold. The air of an office or home can become contaminated and lead to an assortment of health problems.

Adding an air purifier to a home or office will not only greatly reduce the amount of airborne particles that are breathed in; but also, increase the body’s defenses against physical and mental ailments. Owning an air purifier can significantly assist in the treatment and prevention of S.A.D.

There are also many office air purifiers to choose from that can raise the quality of the air in any home or office. Indoor air purifier reviews are offered to assist people who are shopping for the right air purification device for their home or office.

Exercise and Nutrition

Two extremely important keys to good health are a person’s diet and exercise habits. Depression can develop slowly and the symptoms can easily go unnoticed. It is advisable to make plans for the cold. Monitoring eating habits and swapping outdoor activities with indoor exercise can ensure a higher level of readiness for winter ailments.

Staying healthy in the winter is the best way to stay happy. Moods and attitudes can be greatly improved by recognition, treatment and prevention of this common ailment.

*****

Matthew Wainscott has a passion for writing. After finishing school, he pursued his career as a creative service provider. Matthew currently provides content to online organizations.

Photo Courtesy of Rick Imamato

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The Purpose of Adversity

“You are beautiful no matter what they say. Words can’t bring you down, no, no. Cause you are beautiful in every single way. Yes words can’t bring you down.” ~lyrics from ‘Beautiful’ by Christina Aguilera

(Note: Men, please share this with the women in your life.)

It’s hard to be beautiful — and even harder to feel beautiful.

The current media ideal for womenís overall appearance is achievable by less than 2% of the female population. But we are bombarded with this unrealistic ideal.

Young women today see more images of exceptionally beautiful women in one day than our mothers saw throughout their entire teenage years. It’s no wonder that 8 out of 10 women are dissatisfied with their appearance.

The standards of female beauty have become progressively more unrealistic and unattainable. We need full-time hairdressers, make-up artists, physical trainers, and dietitians just to attempt to keep up.

The truth is that most of us aren’t “beautiful” by the current media standards of beauty. And even models and actresses are outed as less than perfect when they are caught in their natural state by lurking tabloid photographers. Maintaining that standard of perfection must be exhausting and humiliating.

Even though we know this standard of beauty is unrealistic and unattainable, most of us spend far to much time, emotional energy, and money attempting to keep up. It doesn’t matter whether you are young with enviable skin and a tight butt or beginning to see gray hairs and wrinkles, you probably focus far more on your perceived flaws than you do on any aspect of your true beauty.

Although physical attractiveness can help you get a foot in the door, it has very little to do with sustaining relationships and even less with developing real self-confidence. We’ve all seen beautiful people who open their mouths and become instantly less attractive, or unattractive people who become more and more appealing because they exude something special.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful to wave a magic wand and eliminate all of the insecurities and self-loathing that is wrapped up in the struggle for beauty? What if you could just walk away from it all and just live your life focused on what makes you joyful and confident?

With practice, this can be done! For those of us in the 99% who will never make it on the pages of a magazine, we can feel absolutely beautiful by shifting our actions and attitude.

Here are 36 ways to start feeling absolutely beautiful right now:

1. Smile. It lights up your face. It triggers happiness in your brain. It makes others feel happy.

2. Remember your posture. Stand up straight. Hold your head high. Throw those shoulders back. You look confident, energetic, amazing!

3. Focus on the best not the worst. Stop staring at the wrinkle or the bulge. Quit comparing yourself to Patty Perfect. Let your “worst” features recede and focus on your best instead. You have far more beautiful features than you see!

4. Be amazed at the wonder of your body. No matter your size, shape, or age, your body is a miraculous temple. Observe how wondrously it operates to house the beautiful person you are.

5. Appreciate your flaws. You are part of the Great Community of Flawed Persons. Welcome to the club. So embrace your flaws as a reminder of your connection to humanity. Flawed is the new perfect.

6. Be expressive. When you are animated and expressive, the fullness of your personality shines through. What could be more beautiful?

7. Get excited. Allow yourself to be enthusiastic and excited about life. Don’t let your concerns about appearance hold you back from embracing the beauty of living. It will reflect back on you!

8. Break a sweat. Get some exercise. Put on that lovely spandex and move your beautiful body. Get an endorphin high. Let your hair get sweaty and greasy. Through the sweat you are shining like star!

9. Practice beautiful movement. Try ballet, tai chi, yoga or some other movement that is fluid and allows your body to respond in beautiful new ways.

10. Acknowledge your inner beauty. Get pen and paper and write down all of the beauty that you do, that you give, that you create, and that you are. You are a powerhouse of beauty.

11. Show kindness. A kind person is exquisite in their beauty. It shines from them like a beacon of hope and peace.

12. Don’t try too hard. Don’t overdo it with make-up or clothes. Don’t spend thousands getting surgery. Don’t exercise yourself to death. When you try too hard, you look desperate. It’s hard to feel beautiful when you feel desperate.

13. Don’t act your age. Your age doesn’t define you or your capacity for beauty. In fact, age ripens you and provides a lushness to your bad, beautiful self! Live the age you feel.

14. Create something. Creativity is the handmaiden of beauty. Creativity is beauty expressing itself through you. Paint, write, garden, scult, cook, sew, decorate — be creative and you will feel beauty spilling out of every pore.

15. Inspire others. As the poet Rumi writes, “Let the beauty we love be what we do.” Do beautiful things. Live beauty. Be beauty. You will inspire others through your beauty.

16. Stop your thoughts. It’s hard to feel beautiful when your brain is whirring away like a ticker tape with negative thoughts about your appearance or age. When you are trapped in those thoughts, stop yourself and redirect your thinking.

17. See yourself through the eyes of a loved one. View yourself the way those dearest to you see you. Offer yourself the love they offer you. Feel the beauty they feel around you.

18. Connect with the beauty of nature. You are part of the natural world in all of its infinite glory and seasonal changes. As you experience nature, become aware of your connection to the beauty around you.

19. Listen to beautiful music. Certain music speaks to your soul. It touches and enlivens the most spiritual and beautiful parts of ourselves. Listen to Brandenburg Concertos #5 by Bach to feel your beauty come alive.

20. Make love. No explanation needed.

21. Wear clothes well. If you aren’t a natural at dressing to suit your body type, age, and coloring, find someone to help you find clothing highlight the beauty inside of you.

22. Hug often. Share loving physical touch with friends and family. It’s a beautiful thing!

23. Get enough sleep. You know what lack of sleep does to your appearance, not to mention your mental health. A good night’s sleep is a mini facelift!

24. Dance. Dance alone. Dance with a partner. Dance like no one is watching. Dancing makes you feel like a beautiful child, carefree and happy.

25. Update your make-up. Make sure your make-up doesn’t look dated, too heavy, or just wrong. Sometimes we get stuck in make-up ruts. An new look can highlight your most beautiful features.

26. Have a beautiful mind. Don’t corrupt your mind with ugly thoughts about yourself or others. Don’t dwell on unpleasant things. Don’t watch violence or negative programs or movies. Fill your thoughts with loveliness.

27. Stop smoking. It ages your skin, it smells bad, it’s bad for you, and it doesn’t reflect self-love. Dropping this bad habit will instantly make you feel more beautiful.

28. Be outgoing, even if it’s hard. Initiate conversations. Show interest in people. Make introductions. Smile. Bridging the gap between stranger and friend feels beautiful.

29. Do physical work. If you have a desk job, sometimes you miss the beauty of a task completed with the physical evidence of your accomplishment. Do something physical like washing the car, raking leaves, gardening, etc. to see the fruits of your labor. Moving, working, accomplishing — that feels beautiful!

30. Take care of your teeth. Since you are now smiling often, you want your teeth to look their pearly best. White, clean teeth make you look ten years younger. Plus, it’s hard to smile if you are embarrassed about your teeth.

31. Create beauty around you. Let your surroundings reflect the beauty inside of you. Remove clutter. Clean windows. Add flowers. Let your home be filled with your beauty.

32. Cook a beautiful meal. Well-prepared, healthy, and delicious food prepared by loving hands is beauty for the mouth and the soul.

33. Reduce stress. Anxiety, a furrowed brow, a tense frown, hunched shoulders are all the physical manifestations of stress. Find the cause of your stress and do something to relieve it. Shine the light of your beauty on the situation. It might dissolve.

34. Exude self-confidence. Show the world that you know you are beautiful where it counts. Your self-confidence rises in direct proportion to your self-acceptance. Love the unique and beautiful person you are and share that with the world.

35. Dress up. Life has gotten increasingly casual. Dress up on occasion. In fact, be the best dressed person in the room. Wear red! Turn a few heads.

36. Express gratitude. Be grateful for everything you are and everything you have. The handful of complaints you have about your appearance is nothing compared to the cornucopia of blessings that surround you. Bathe in the beauty of your blessings, and it will transform you from the inside out.

Barrie Davenport is a personal and career coach and the founder of Live Bold and Bloom, a blog about fearless personal growth. She is the author of the free guide 7 Key Ingredients to a Meaningful Life.

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Photo credit: Carol Richardson Marty

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Do you know why so many people have trouble dealing with anxiety? Simply put, it boils down to a lack of perspective.  Most of us think of anxiety as something that’s irrevocably… out there; as though it were an ominous and invisible threat plotting against our well-being.

All too frequently, people conceive of anxiety as an external factor they cannot possibly control. Does that describe how you feel? Truth be told, this kind of reasoning is nothing but an excuse to remain a victim of anxiety. Even though there are a plethora of known anxiety causes that you can’t control directly, it’s often possible to alleviate the problem by tackling specific habits and attitudes which usually go hand in hand with anxiety.

You may not be aware of it, but there are common habits of the mind and body that you constantly indulge, which secretly add up to your anxiety. Tackling these causes of anxiety will by no means eradicate your problem, but it will help make it manageable. It will also help you realize that you’re not a victim of your inner turmoil, as much as you’re a co-creator of it.

Understanding the most common causes of pathological anxiety

Coffee: Often regarded as a harmless beverage, coffee is actually a highly additive anxiety-inducing drug; it makes people more alert, but it also makes them jittery and nervous. Anyone who suffers from anxiety disorder or any kind of pathological anxiety issues should absolutely avoid coffee. Substitute with herbal teas and you’ll soon feel much more in control.

Refined Sugars: Likewise with coffee, refined sugars are also quite widespread and very much additive. If you don’t believe it, try spending a week without ingesting any foods that contain refined sugars. Avoiding sugar is a real challenge; not only because it’s omnipresent, but also because you have grown used to having a daily fix…. which makes you feel better on the short term, but soon after induces irritability and anxiety. Just like any other drug.

Sedentary lifestyle: One of most common patterns among anxiety sufferers is leading a highly sedentary living with little to no physical activity. No surprises there! When you fail to provide an outlet for all the energy and tension coursing through your body, that energy will invariably fuel your feelings of anxiety. You need to get in the habit of tiring your body on a regular basis, because that will directly contribute to soothing and relaxing your mind.

Negative thinking: Most people who are adepts of negative thinking fail to realize so. This is unfortunate, because the on-going stream of negative thoughts is constantly fueling your feelings of anxiety and inadequacy. How could you possibly not suffer from anxiety, if your mind is constantly racing in negative loops? Try to become aware of your negative thinking, and make a commitment to dismiss those woeful clouds constantly surrounding you.

Sleep Deprivation: It’s amazing how people underestimate the importance of getting a good night’s sleep, even though they constantly experience the negative effects of sleep deprivation. You must realize that sleep plays a vital role in regulating your physical and emotional states; anything less than 7 hours per night is just not healthy and it will invariably bring you closer to the mental edge every day.

Stress: In this day and age, people should be taught how to deal with stress from an early age. Because left unmanaged, stress is a negative force that can cause real damage in your life. If you constantly feel as though you’re unable to cope with your responsibilities and if you have a really hard time keeping up with your routine… that could become one of the major sources of anxiety in your life. Find ways to improve your ability to deal with stress, and your peace of mind will soon be reinforced.

Victim Mindset: It’s very hard not to get caught up in the victim mindset when you have chronic anxiety problems. But when it happens, it will make you feel as though you are just irrevocably stuck with your anxiety issues. Please don’t buy such silly ideas! You are only a victim while you refuse dealing with your problems. And as you may have realized from reading this article, managing anxiety can be done in rather subtle and seemingly indirect ways.

Remember, anxiety is not your enemy. It’s not an invisible enemy waiting to get you. Anxiety is more of a consequence of your dissatisfaction, rather than a cause. Understand what’s sourcing this problem and do your best to deal with it; as you do so, you’ll be effectively undermining the power anxiety has over you, and it will gradually become easier to cope.

This guest post was authored by Pedro Cardoso, who is well versed on anxiety treatment options. He believes that anxiety problems are best dealt with by yielding rather than struggling. He would like to urge all anxiety sufferers to follow the path of least resistance and tackle the sources of anxiousness rather than its manifestations.

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Whether you enjoy relaxing by the beach, skiing down the slopes or testing your golf game, it’s important to make time occasionally to escape the hustle and bustle of everyday life. Easier said than done, right? With appointments, deadlines, and demands of your time, it’s easy to forget what it means to take a breather. To avoid total burnout, take the following simple steps to get peace of mind so you can really unwind:
1. Step Away From the Technology
For some of us, our iPhones and Blackberrys are like members of the family. You play your games on them, you do business on them and heck, sometimes you even talk on them. But to truly unwind and de-stress, it’s important to step away from the things that can tether you to your commitments and obligations. Silence your phone, or even better yet, turn it off so that you don’t have to be distracted by alerts and notifications when you’re trying to get some much-needed R&R.

2. Volunteer Your Time
There’s nothing like engaging in an activity you really care about to help clear your mind and re-charge the batteries. Whether you want to volunteer at a soup kitchen or help socialize adoptable pets, there are few things that can have a greater impact, while also helping you along the way. It’s often low-stress and can help remind you to prioritize what’s really important in your life.
3. Crank Up the Volume
Did you know that listening to music can actually increase blood flow? Whether you’re into Kenny Chesney or Kenny G, just listening to your favorite music can help improve your mood and clear your mind. Programs like iTunes, Spotify and Pandora make getting your favorite tunes (even those from way back when) easy and affordable. Better yet, get up and move around, and enjoy a mini dance party in your living room. It’ll get your blood pumping, and you’ll feel refreshed and able to relax.

4. Write it Down
Have a million and one thoughts running through your head? If so, putting all of those ideas and worries on a piece of paper may help you sort through them and push past those that are preventing you from unwinding. Which ones can be addressed right now? Which ones are out of your control? Think it through, and when you’re done, toss the piece of paper in the trash. Tell yourself you’ve given those issues as much time as they’re worth, and that it’s time to move forward.

5. Get in Touch With Nature
When was the last time you went for a walk without purpose? Like a mini dance party, getting some fresh air, especially in an area with lots of foliage, can be invigorating and a chance to reflect on the simpler things in life. If you have a dog, take him or her with you, and get the added benefit of exercising them as well. Animals are thought to have a calming influence, so it’ll be mutually beneficial and also a great way to get a little peace of mind.

This post is written by Erica Moss. Erica is the social media outreach coordinator for the Masters in Nursing program at Georgetown University, which has one of the nation’s leading FNP programs. Outside of work, Erica is an avid dog lover who loves photography and meeting new people.

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Reclaim Your Dream, It’s Time to Come Alive

Why You Should Read Personal Development Books

Within all human beings, no matter what part of the world they’re from, what their environment has been, what culture they come from, what their religious tradition is, there lives a certain kind of greatness. Everyone knows that this greatness lives within them. We call it different things, but the bottom line is that we all have a central wish to be as good, true, kind, and as profitable a human being that we can be. It’s in our very DNA. And that divine code if you will, is the same in every human being. We just dress it differently.

Within every individual there lives a wish to embody something grand, beautiful, kind, true, and loving. None of us – no matter where you go in the world – can escape the need we have to realize the truth of ourselves. And this longing we have to be free, to know ourselves, and to express ourselves, was given to us by something sacred. Nothing in the world has the right to take it away from us.

We all have common needs: the need to love; to grow as human beings; to continually perfect ourselves; and to integrate our lives with the universe around us. These needs are common to all of us, regardless of the place in the world we live in or the discipline we grew up with. The commonality of these needs means they were placed in us by something that came before our culture – that came before our religious backgrounds and traditions.

It is honoring the true needs we have as human beings that places us in relationship with that which put those needs within us – that places us in relationship with that which transcends all boundaries, that transcends all of the moralities and the mores, and all the other things that currently govern and divide human beings. If you know the truth of yourself, you will find freedom, because to know the truth of yourself is to come back into relationship with these essential needs that were put in us so that we could discover our connection with something that is timeless.

We share an uncommon possibility as human beings, which arises from the fact that we all share common heartaches. No matter where you go in the world, you’ll find men and women in one way or another whose dreams have been broken, who have lost something that they love or someone they love, who have a regret or a disappointment that they’re unable to shake free from.

As a rule, when we meet people with problems, the first thing we tend to do is distance ourselves from them because “I already have enough pain.” But we can start to understand that in the truest sense of the word, this man or this woman is in fact a celestial brother or sister because we have the same needs. And if I am going to be able to help another human being – to hear, to understand, to bring any light whatsoever into the heart or mind of another individual – I do so because I have found that understanding first in myself. And the extent to which I am capable of adding some light to the life of another human being, is the extent to which I have first found that light in myself, and know that we all hold that light in common. In that common sharing of a new understanding lies the uncommon possibility for a transcendent life that we all have as human beings.

There have been great individuals in the past who have truly helped and changed mankind – individuals like Christ, Buddha, and Mohammed. Compared to them, our efforts to help one or two people discover the truth of themselves and their connection to the sacred may seem insignificant. But one of the most beautiful things you will ever learn is that no one on this earth is more important than you – not important because other people say you’re important, or because you have some social standing or you own possessions that lend you a sense of power, but because it is the individual who changes the world.

Long before there was Christianity, or Buddhism, or Taosim, or Hinduism, or Islam, or any other religion, there was an individual who felt compelled to learn the truth of himself in response to a need seeded in him by the celestial. When that individual was touched by what he had reached for – and that was reaching for him, then he brought forth what he discovered within himself. And those discoveries became what we now call the world religions. They all started with an individual. And each of us, in our own way, and in scale, is meant to do the same thing.

Add to that this one important and beautiful idea: You cannot add a measure of light to any measure of darkness that doesn’t change the darkness everywhere. This is a law in physics. How much more true is it when it comes to us and the world we live in? If I understand a truth, if I embody it, if I become the instrument of that awareness, then wherever I go, whatever I do, no matter who I’m with or what is taking place, the very discovery and relationship I have to that little bit of light in myself changes everything around me, and the Universe itself.

What is really empowering is the recognition that this little bit of understanding, this little bit of awareness, this little love we may have for what is true and timeless, changes all human beings, makes it possible for all creatures on this earth to have a different order of being. It is possible because the being of the individual changes first, and then that higher being is all there is.

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Today Only — As part of the worldwide release of Guy Finley’s new book The Seeker, The Search, The Sacred: Journey to the Greatness Within, I’ve made special arrangements for you to receive over 108 free gifts from leading authors and experts. There is one overwhelming desire that lies at the heart of every human being. Now you can know it and fulfill it. Start the search that leads not only to the fulfillment you seek, but ultimately can help heal our world at the same time! Click for details.

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Tips For Breaking Bad Habits and Developing Good Habits

‘Such as are thy habitual thoughts will be the character of the mind, for the soul is dyed by the thoughts.’ Marcus Aurelius Antoninus

I recently heard the statement – ‘It’s all in your ‘ead!’

These five words contain an incredible amount of powerful information, which once understood and applied, can transform your life.

For it is what’s happening within our head that will determine the type of career you command, the state of your business, the condition of your love life, the amount of money you make, the house you live in, the car you drive, and even the quality of your friends.

In fact – the state of your mind, and what’s going on ‘in your ‘ead’, will determine the life you lead while here on planet earth.

Here is what you must do…

1. Identify Your Habitual Thoughts

Pause for a moment and consider your thoughts.

Where do your thoughts spend most of their time?

Well let me enlighten you and share where my thoughts, as a younger man, spent their time.

They were usually thoughts defined by the following questions or statements:

• How can I ever afford it?
• I’m not good enough.
• I can never do that.
• I could never be like them.
• I could never drive that.
• I don’t have sufficient education to achieve that.
• What’s the use?
• It’s too hard.
• What if I fail?
• I’ll never make it.
• There’s just no way that they’re going to pick me.
• No one understands how I feel.

And there were many more.

Have you ever heard some of those same voices in your head? If so, it’s time to change.

2. Develop Better Habitual Thoughts

Once I recognized that I was ‘shooting myself in the foot’ by allowing those negative thoughts to run rampant in my mind, it was time to develop better habitual thoughts.

So over time those thoughts were exchanged with…

• I can do all things.
• Nothing’s impossible to me
• If I fail I have learnt another lesson that will carry me to success.
• I deserve to live here.
• I am worthy of driving this.
• I am a success.
• I am healthy.
• I have influence.
• There is nothing that I cannot learn to do.
• I am a leader, not just a follower.
• I create magnificence.
• I love and I am loved.
• I prosper.
• I will find a way.
• I’m excited about life.

See what a dramatic difference there is between poor habitual thoughts and these rich habitual thoughts?

3. Reap The Benefits From Developing Better Habitual Thoughts

Once you exchange your poor for rich thought habits, you will begin, over time, to see the benefit of making such an exchange.

Your benefits may be different to mine because we are different and have different goals and dreams, but please allow me to share some of the benefits that I’ve experienced since taking control of my mind.

• To date I have written three best selling books that have been sold both in my own country and in the UK.
• I now write a blog that is currently read by people from 155 nations and is growing at an alarmingly rapid rate.
• I’m more in love with my queen (my wife) of 28 years than ever before.
• I’m the proud father of three dynamic and highly gifted young adults – two of whom now own and operate their own successful businesses while the third and youngest manages one of my companies.
• I’m the owner of multiple businesses in the web design, hairdressing and online/offline publishing industries.
• I’m a professional speaker and business coach.
• I prosper in spirit, soul and body.
• I love what I do and do what I love.
• I have the awesome daily privilege of teaching people from all around the world to become the best that they can possibly become.
• I am expanding my influence through the gifts that I’ve nurtured and developed over the years.
• I want for nothing, and every day is a joy to behold.

Now that’s enough about me, let’s hear how you’ve begun to benefit from the development of better habitual thoughts?

Motivational Memo: To think is to be.

Peter G. James Sinclair is in the ‘heart to heart’ resuscitation business and inspires, motivates and equips others to be all that they’ve been created to become. Receive your free copy of his latest eBook Personal Success Blueprint at – http://www.motivationalmemo.com and add him on Twitter @PeterGJSinclair – today!

Photo credit: Eleanor Baggott

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I’ve discovered a powerful remedy for self-destructive habits that is so simple I wondered how I missed it over the years. My self-destructive habit involved eating junk food late at night, yet my discovery will work for any chronic, self-defeating behavior.

Do you do things every day that you wish you didn’t?

Most people wish they had control over certain behaviors, from addictions like smoking, drinking, gambling and junk food to emotional behaviors such as anger outbursts and yelling. Other seemingly stress related habits plague millions, such as biting fingernails, fidgeting or even shopping too much. We are creatures of habit, but sometimes our habits get the best of us, even though we understand the consequences.

Science Daily recently reported on a University of Alberta study involving lifestyle habits:

“…it was clear that they understood what types of behaviour are the riskiest, but that knowledge wasn’t enough to motivate them to change their ways,” said Dr. Cindy Jardine, an assistant professor of rural sociology at the University of Alberta in Edmonton, Canada.

“The results showed that in fact, people have a very realistic understanding of the various risks in their lives. We as risk communicators–scientists, academics, government agencies–have to get beyond the thought of ‘If they only understood the facts, they’d change.’ They do understand the facts, but we need to look at other factors we haven’t been looking at before.”

Here it is, then: we understand the danger, yet we do it anyway!

What must be true if we do daily, harmful things to ourselves? Here are my answers:

1. We just don’t care that much about ourselves, indicating low self-esteem.
2. We lose awareness in the moment.
3. We have more pressing needs that are being met though the self-destructive behavior.
4. A combination of the above.

Now for the good news

Self-observation sets in motion a process of healing that is more powerful than our self-destructive tendencies. When we observe ourselves we feel greater awareness, maturity, compassion and self-acceptance. A student in our online NLP course recently said the following:

When took a step back and observed myself in the moment, mindlessly surfing the Internet when my family was just outside my bedroom wanting to spend time with me, I felt an immediate letting go – sort of like I walked in and ruined my own little party, but it wasn’t a shameful thing. I just realized this wasn’t what I wanted to be doing. So I shut my laptop and went to play with my kids. When I saw myself clearly, I wanted to do something else.

This captures it nicely. True self-observation invites our most adult self to be at the helm, shining the light of maturity and compassionate self-awareness toward whichever aspects of ourselves we are willing to observe.

How to observe yourself.

In NLP we call self-observation, dissociation. Of course, NLP’s dissociation doesn’t resemble clinical dissociation in any way! It simply involves taking a step back and seeing yourself as a more neutral or compassionate observer might see you. Dissociation pulls us out of our stressed and distracted, self-involved states that tend to lead to bad behaviors. Then, we simply observe the moment. When we do this without attempting to coerce ourselves, miracles happen.

Try it. Here are some simple methods.

• Label what you are doing without judgment. The next time you are caught up in the moment, label what you are doing. Right now, I am doing X.

• See yourself. Imagine looking upon yourself as if from a distance. How do you appear? This works particularly well for situations that involve arguments with other people. When we see ourselves and our actions, things change.

• Ask yourself a big picture question. What’s really going on here? What do I really want right now? What am I trying to accomplish here? What does this do for me?

What if I keep doing it anyway?

What if you observe yourself and do the unwanted behavior anyway? Don’t be surprised if you do. It took me weeks of self-observation before I lost my desire to overeat late at night. Of course, I had been doing this self-destructive behavior for 20 years, so a few weeks is a swift recovery if you think about it.

With habits and addictions there are often deeper, unmet needs that need to be identified before self-observation becomes meaningful. If you aren’t aware of your deeper needs, then self-observation may fall flat, like looking through a stranger’s family photo album. What you see doesn’t mean much because you don’t have a strong connection to the family or its history.

When you understand your historical, unmet needs, observing yourself takes on new meaning and automatically fosters greater compassion and self-acceptance, which causes the underlying stress to melt away.

The process of self-observation, compassion and releasing unwanted habits can take some time and may even require some coaching. When you are in a position to practice regularly, however, you will be amazed at the results. Poor habits, even long-standing ones, are weak compared to the power of compassionate self-observation.

Mike Bundrant is a retired mental health counselor who conducts online NLP training with the iNLP Center.

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