I wish I could grow back down and be young and carefree again. Life was so simple when I was in elementary school. I had no concern for time. Time was forever. There was always more time or enough time. As an adult, I’ve learned time is everything. Time is a non-renewable resource. Without a day being limited to 24 hours, we would care nothing about productivity. And productivity is all about the wise use of our time.

There are two types of productivity: one is vertical and the other horizontal. Vertical productivity is about how you can perform a specific activity as quickly as possible. On the other hand, horizontal productivity is how you fit everything you want into your life – work, family, and hobbies – and organize them so you can get to it all. But there is a contradiction. If we do everything in the most productive way possible, doesn’t that mean we will spend less time in some of the most enjoyable activities? What if the Sunday football game could be played in only 15 minutes? What if you could see and do everything you wanted on your summer vacation in one or two days?

Let’s do some soul searching. As adults, we are over scheduled. We have too much demand on our time from everywhere, not to mention all of those things we want to do for ourselves. It’s this feeling of being overwhelmed that’s a sure sign your life needs to change.   What I found works is to sit down in a quiet place, and in your mind’s eye, throw your whole life into the trash bin. Then reconstruct your life from nothing. What would you really take from your life today and add back? What new things would you include? How would you really spend the day tomorrow? The reason this is important is that often people are trying to optimize productivity for activities that they don’t want to be doing or shouldn’t be doing, so why do them? I often question why people want extreme productivity. If you work a lot and you love what you do, why do you want to do your work as quickly as possible?  Wouldn’t you rather continue working? Or is it that you really don’t like your work?

Now that you’ve determined what it is that you need to do, let’s look at being more productive by stopping those time leaks. Those things that seem to steal away your precious time, and before you know it, nothing you truly wanted has been accomplished.

1.Don’t allow work to drip into your to-do list.  I come from a computer software background, so for those geeks out there, don’t be interrupt-driven.  It’s easier to lump similar tasks together and do them at one time during the week, then to handle every request as it comes in. It’s easier and more efficient to pay all your bills on Saturday then when each arrives in the mail or inbox. Many tasks can be handled in this way. The trick is to keep the requestor happy and this can be done by simply telling them when they will get what they want.

Schedule everything or set aside blocks of time to do things. It’s the only way to get everything you want into a busy schedule. It’s more efficient to hold to your schedule and not allow exceptions except for absolute emergencies.  The reason is there are always exceptions.

2. Learn to say ‘no’. Don’t let other people make their problems, your problem. As you get older and more successful, there isn’t enough time in a day anymore. You can anything, but you can’t do everything. You need to pick and choose. Don’t speak at every meeting, don’t attend every networking event, don’t go to every conference, and don’t agree to every play date for your child.

3. The 80/20 rule applies to almost everything. It takes 20% effort to get 80% of the work done. How much of that remaining 80% of work effort are you willing to do to get to 100% completion or perfection? Is the incremental effort worth it? In my experience, perfection is rarely required so when is it good enough?

4. One of the hardest rules is to not let other people’s dreams and goals take priority over or eliminate yours. This is particularly difficult where you have an emotional bond such as children, spouses, or significant others. Children will demand 100% of your time. Spouses have their own sense of what’s important and what’s not, and it won’t always align with your view. It’s easy to fill your time doing things for others. You need to consider them, but you also need to follow your heart.

Ultimately, enhancing productivity boils down to thinking and planning what and why you are doing something, and then actually doing it.

Cynthia Kocialski is the founder of three tech start-ups companies. In the past 15 years, she has been involved in dozens of start-ups. Cynthia writes the Start-up Entrepreneurs’ Blog www.cynthiakocialski.com. Cynthia has written the book, “Out of the Classroom Lessons in Success: How to Prosper Without Being at the Top of the Class.” The book serves up tips, insight, and wisdom to enable young adults and parents of kids to know what it will take to forge a successful career, no matter what their academic achievement.

Having troubles waking up early in the morning? Always snoozing until the last minute? Often late to work? Well, then you should learn the secret of waking up early. It’s all about the motivation. It is always easier to make an effort when you are really motivated. So, if you want to become an early riser after years of being a night owl, all that you need is to find a good reason to get up early in the morning.

Think of the things you always wanted to do but never had time for. Imagine you can find the time needed every day. Just be smart and use your mornings for that. Do something for yourself. When you come home after a long and exhausting hours of work, you are most likely to skip the things you enjoy only because you are extremely tired. You are so tired that the only thing you want is spend your evening watching TV and there is no more energy for anything else. But what about you and your true desires? Don’t you want to be in a good shape anymore? Don’t you want to finally finish the book you have been writing since college? Don’t you want to spend more time outside playing with your one true friend, your dog, instead of walking him out really fast to do his business because you no longer have time for him?

Well leave this all in the past. Now you will have time for everything! Made a list of things you are going to do for the whole week ahead and stick to the plan. Yes, you are right, you need to write it down. Place it on the mirror in the bathroom and go through your plans when you brush your teeth in the evening before going to bed. Remind yourself of your plans for the next day and visualize them. What image do you have in your head when you do that? I am sure you can see yourself with a big smile on your face. That’s the way to go! Do it every evening and soon you will see that waking up early has never been that easy!

“New you” will have time for everything. Going to the gym before work, practicing yoga, or jogging outside can give you an energy boost for the rest of the day and significantly increase your productivity. Not only you will become fitter and healthier, but you will also notice that you are million times more active and willing to succeed. Besides, physical activity in the morning will help you falling asleep easily at night and your sleep is proven to be deeper. This way you will need less time to restore and you will feel better and full of energy when you wake up early next day. I know, it sounds crazy but you will actually need less sleep to be more active during the day when you start doing sports.

Does that sound like you? If not, I am sure you will still be able to find one true reason for waking up early that will stimulate you to put much effort into it. Everyone is different, so is the motivation that will work for you.

Amber Smith is a time management expert and runs the site How to Get Up Early. The site is about helping people to get up early and be more productive by sharing original tips and innovative products.

Photo credit: twolittlemoos

Do you feel enthusiastic and inspired in the mornings – only to find yourself exhausted in the afternoons? Perhaps you only ever seem to perk up when you’ve got a coffee in hand, or you manage to concentrate for 30 minutes but then find yourself procrastinating.

If your energy levels fluctuate a lot, you might need to focus on achieving more balance. These ten tips should help:

#1: Drink Plenty of Water

Yes, you’ve heard this one a hundred times before. But are you actually managing it?

If you’re slightly dehydrated, you’ll struggle to concentrate. Try keeping a bottle of water on your desk so that you can easily sip while working. If you don’t like the taste of plain water, try buying sparkling or flavored varieties.

#2: Don’t Drink Too Much Caffeine

Coffee, tea and caffeinated sodas will give you a short-term energy boost, followed by a slump. If you’re relying on caffeine to stay alert and awake, you’re probably not sleeping enough.

But … don’t reduce your caffeine intake too suddenly, or you’re likely to get headaches. Try cutting down slowly – if you normally drink six cups of coffee a day, cut back to five.

#3: Eat at Regular Intervals

Your brain needs fuel: if you’re hungry, it’s hard for you to focus. It’s also difficult to concentrate after a heavy lunch – so rather than stuffing yourself, eat smaller amounts at regular intervals.

Many nutritionists recommend eating every three hours; that means having a mid-morning and mid-afternoon snack to keep you going between meals.

#4: Don’t Eat Sugary Snacks

Eating regularly doesn’t mean filling up on cookies or donuts. Sugary snacks play havoc with your energy levels: they give you a quick boost followed by a crash.

If you’ve got a sweet tooth, try eating fresh fruit instead. On days when only chocolate will do, go for dark varieties (at least 70% cocoa) and eat just a small amount.

#5: Have a Power Nap

Although this one isn’t an option for many of us, a quick nap during the afternoon can really boost your energy. If you work from home (or have a very understanding boss!) then try taking a twenty minute nap to help you over the afternoon slump.

Make sure you don’t sleep too long, though; you’ll just wake up feeling groggy. You might want to set an alarm.

#6: Don’t Skimp on Sleep at Night

Even if you take a power nap during the day, don’t cut back on sleep at night. Most of us need seven to eight hours of sleep to function well – but some people need more.

It’s tempting to sleep less in order to have more time to cram everything in, but if you’re well rested, you’ll have more energy to tackle everything, and you’ll get tasks finished faster.

#7: Take Regular Breaks

No-one can stay focused on a task for hours at a time. You need to take breaks from whatever you’re doing in order to keep your energy levels up.

It’s a good idea to get away from your desk: grab a glass of water or go for brisk walk (even if it’s just round the corridors). At lunch time, make sure you take a real break from work, rather than eating sandwiches at your desk.

#8: Don’t Procrastinate

Taking a planned break is different from procrastinating. If you’re surfing the net when you know you should be working, you’re simply letting resistance to a task build up.

Sometimes, procrastination can look like work: for instance, you might work on emails so you can put off that difficult phone call or tricky report. This will leave you feeling demotivated. Instead, tackle the harder things first – you’ll get a real energy boost.

#9: Exercise at Moderate Intensity

Exercise is good for you in so many ways. One of the benefits of being active is that you’re likely to have more energy: moving around gets your blood pumping. You may also find that you sleep more soundly.

When you exercise, aim to work at a moderate intensity. That means you should be able to hold a conversation, but you shouldn’t be able to sing the lyrics to a song.

#10: Don’t Exercise Too Hard

If you’re just getting started with exercise, don’t overdo it. There’s no point in spending two hours in the gym after work – only to end up so exhausted that you slump on the sofa with a bag of chips instead of cooking a healthy dinner.

For most of us, thirty to forty-five minutes of moderate exercise, five times a week, is about right. You don’t necessarily have to do this in one daily session, either; you could aim for a twenty minute brisk walk in your lunch hour and a twenty minute cycle ride in the evening.

How do you keep your energy levels up during the day? Share your tips and ideas in the comments…

Photo credit: Stephen Vincent

“Today, more than ever before, life must be characterized by a sense of Universal responsibility, not only nation to nation and human to human, but also human to other forms of life.” – The Dalai Lama

Responsibility is one of the most important skills your child can learn. It influences all pursuits in life, affecting your child’s ability to make friends, to excel in school and to excel in her career.

Most parents understand the importance of being productive and responsible, but are unsure of how to begin teaching this skill to their children.

Children often learn best when they are having fun. Games teach children that life skills don’t have to be boring and encourage children to think about problems in unique ways.

Here are 5 ways to make learning responsibility fun:

Timed Competitions

Children love to compete with their siblings and friends, and even the most boring tasks can be turned into a game when you add a competitive edge. Try giving your child a set amount of time in which to complete a task. Announce, “Whoever can get their room clean first wins!” Or try saying, “Whoever can put away the most dishes in 10 minutes gets to go to bed late!” Tasks that your children were previously loathe to complete will suddenly become fun family activities.

Problem Solving Games

Children are creative thinkers who, when given the chance, can come up with unique solutions to problems. They especially love when they can display their knowledge to adults and think of things grown-ups couldn’t. Try presenting a family problem to your children. For example, if you’re having trouble getting children to participate in your dog’s care, try saying, “Muffy needs to be house-trained. Whoever can come up with the best strategy for potty training the dog can go to bed late for a week!” Your child will suddenly become invested in a task both you and he previously had little interest in.

Reward Systems

Child psychologists have found that rewarding good behavior is much more effective than punishing bad behavior. If there’s a particular behavior you’d like for your child to improve, a gold star chart can be the ticket to responsibility. Simply place a chart on the refrigerator and give your child a sticker every time she does the right thing. When the chart is full, she gets a special reward such as a toy, later bedtime, or family outing.

Teaching Parents

Children want, more than almost anything else, to have the same privileges as adults. They love being treated as mature grown-ups and will do just about anything to have their opinions respected. You can use this to your advantage by encouraging your child to teach you something about responsibility. Pose a specific problem to her and ask her to research the solution. Give her lots of crafts supplies and encourage her to put together a presentation to teach the whole family. For example, if your dog needs better dental care, ask your child to figure out how to keep the dog’s teeth clean. You may be amazed at the solutions she comes up with, and she’ll relish the opportunity to play expert.

Taking Someone Else’s Perspective

Empathy is the ability to place yourself in someone else’s shoes and predict how he might feel. It encourages responsibility toward others and a healthy respect for rules. This skill must be nurtured in children for them to develop it. Play games with your child that encourage her to adopt alternative perspectives. For example, while driving in the car, ask your child, “What do you think the woman behind us is thinking right now?” When children get into a fight, ask them, “Why do you think your brother is mad at you?” If you are angry at your child, ask her, “What would you do right now if you were the mom?” This not only gives your child the opportunity to think about other people. It also helps you to understand why your child does the things she does.

About the Author

Jane Warren is a freelance writer providing valuable tips and advice for consumers and families. Her numerous articles offer money saving tips and valuable insight on all types of family and pet-related topics.

Photo Credit: Doug Robertson

In life, stuff happens. People get sick.  The IRS calls. Then, just when you think it can’t get any worse, the dog throws up on your shoes.

And that’s before you’ve left for work. What do you do when you don’t know what to do anymore? Here are ten ways for you to develop your resiliency – your ability to bounce back from the challenges in life.

1. Acceptance

Ugh. People hate it when I talk about acceptance because they equate acceptance with giving up. Actually, acceptance has more to do with giving in than giving up. When life throws you a curveball, your immediate response is usually to resist what is happening. This is a form of denial, which is okay for awhile, but at some point, you need to see the situation for what it is and go with it rather than resist it. The key is to accept life as it is, rather than what it should be.

Acceptance is a big topic that needs its own article, but for now, here are a few more components:

• Being okay with emotions, even when they’re “bad.” This means it’s okay to feel however you want about a situation and not saying to yourself, “I need to keep a stiff upper lip” or “I guess I shouldn’t be angry about this.”
• Realizing that accepting a situation doesn’t necessarily mean that you like it. I think this causes a lot of confusion for people, too. “How am I supposed to like the fact that I’m losing my house to foreclosure?” You don’t, but you do need to accept the reality of the foreclosure so you can develop strategies to address the situation.
• Being able to hold two opposing thoughts or feelings at the same time. This one is kind of tricky, but it has to do with acknowledging opposites like “I love my kid AND right now I can’t stand him because he’s being defiant.” Or, “I’m relieved that my dad died and is now out of pain AND I want him back.”

2. Social support

Even though you might think you need to “tough this out alone,” it really doesn’t help when you’re trying to overcome a problem. Going it alone leads to feeling isolated and immersed in your problem. You have people who love you and want to help, even if it’s just to provide a listening ear. Be okay with sharing your circumstances with at least one close friend or family member.

3. Perspective

I recently asked a woman who had been downsized out of her job how she made it through that difficult time. I was surprised at her answer. “You know, Bobbi,” she said, “I chose to expand rather than contract. I used this as an opportunity to learn new things rather than focus on it only as a negative in my life.”

There are always different angles from which you choose to see a situation. Try a few new ones!

Here are a few more ideas about perspective:

• Stop ruminating. Rumination is going over and over something endlessly; it’s a way you try to fix a problem but it doesn’t get you anywhere. Try to stop obsessive thinking about the problem and realize that you have some good things to fill up your life, too.
• Remember that you have made it through past challenges. This isn’t the first problem you’ve had in your life and, unfortunately, it won’t be the last. It’s really important to realize that you have made it through tough times in the past and you will this time, too.

4. Stay in the moment

This will help you not ruminate about the problem or fret about the future. Grounding techniques can help with this – paying attention to your senses: how does the desk feel under your fingertips? What do you smell in the air right now? What do you hear? Focus on those sensations for a few minutes to stay in the current moment.

5. Problem-solving

Now that you’ve accepted your situation, have some perspective about it, and have your support system around you, it’s time to do something. Use these quick steps to develop a plan (it helps tremendously to do this with other people. You get more ideas and different perspectives.):

• Define the problem. Sometimes what you think is the problem really isn’t. Use your problem-solving group to develop a very specific definition of the problem.
• Has anything worked in the past to solve this problem? If yes, do it again! If no, move to the next step.
• Brainstorm as many different solutions as possible. This means to generate ideas that might even seem silly at first.
• Narrow the list of solutions. Now is the time to toss out those ideas that absolutely won’t work and keep the ones that will.
• Develop an action plan. Use the workable ideas to form action steps.
• Create accountability. Have your support system check in with you to make sure you are following through.

6. See what you can learn

Since life has handed you lemons, this is a good time to not only make the proverbial lemonade, but lemon meringue pie, lemon tarts . . . you get the idea. Like my friend above who chose to expand rather than contract, there are always things to learn about yourself, the world, and others when challenges arise. It’s a tough way to learn them, but sometimes it’s the best way, too.

7. Find the gifts

The sand that irritates the oyster eventually makes a beautiful pearl. You may not see the gifts in your situation right now, but have faith that they are there. I have heard many women with cancer talk about the unexpected gifts they experienced: finding out how many people truly loved them, learning how strong they were, being able to help others also going through cancer.

The gifts are there, just be open to receiving them.

Psychotherapist Bobbi Emel specializes in helping people face life’s significant challenges and regain their resiliency. In addition to seeing clients in her private practice in Los Altos, Ca., Bobbi is a well-regarded speaker and writer. You can find her blog at http://www.TheBounceBlog.com

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The most common question I receive when coaching people is how to sustain motivation and how to let go of stress.

“How do you stay motivated after the initial rush of inspiration has faded and the hard work begins?”
“I have so much to do today, how can I not be stressed?”

Without motivation, producing quality results is near impossible.
With motivation you can accomplish extra-ordinary things and become hugely successful.
I have had times when I have barely been able to get myself out of bed, because I didn’t feel as though I had a reason to get up.

I have been through times when I can’t sleep because there is so much fun to do!

Motivation comes and goes, but there are a lot of things we can do to keep it for a longer time and keep the lowest levels of motivation from getting too low.

Motivation at work
When I got my first sales job I was very, very motivated. I couldn’t wait to get started.
I started working hard from day one and pushed myself harder than I ever had before.

Things went well for me, for about six months. Then I realized that this job wasn’t really for me, there were a lot of reasons I didn’t like the job, but the main one was the atmosphere at the company. The business plan was to “trick” customers into buying, which didn’t sit well with me.

My motivation started to wane and so did my results.

I stayed at the company much too long, over a year before I quit, but when I found a new job with a better culture and product, my motivation came back.

Since then I have learned several techniques that help keep motivation high.

You cannot motivate someone; they can only motivate themselves
This is both a true and false statement (at least in my belief).
Motivation comes from within, it is our own driving force, but there are tools that can be taught to help you increase and focus you motivation.

Clarity

The clearer your goals are the more motivated you will be, you will have a sense of purpose, a reason to work harder and to produce results.

As we progress through this book we will be working more and more on bringing clarity to your goals, this will bring you the greatest burst of motivation and the strength to achieve them.
Before we get to that stage though I want you to read these 5 exercises on how to increase your motivation, by using these before and after you have set your goals and made your plans, you will get an even stronger effect from it.

Write down all your projects
To get a better overview of why you are stressed it is important to know where you should start.

Two years ago I was having an introductory meeting with a new student and she told me something very interesting:

“I really want to become better at time management and I have worked at it a lot, I have a weekly plan, I prioritize it, but still when I get ready to start I just feel like there are so many other things I should do. I feel overwhelmed and start running in circles in my mind. All of a sudden an hour has gone by and I haven’t done anything, is there any way to cure this”

This is a very common problem, I am sure you have felt it yourself at one point or another.

Know everything that needs to be done
Keeping an overview of everything that needs to be done makes it easier to focus at one at a time.

This might feel stressful
The first time my wife listed everything she needed to do it was because I had told her to do it about 2000 times, too shut me up she finally did it. The reason she didn’t want to do it was that she was afraid that looking at that list would make it all more real and make her even more stressed.

It is keeping it in your mind that makes you stressed.

When you have to constantly think about and remind yourself about everything that needs to be done you become stressed, you can never put anything away.
Getting it onto a list makes it a lot easier, you can put it aside for the time being knowing you will come back to it soon.

You know what you are working on
Listen to your mind, what are you thinking about? What projects need to be done?
Write down everything, small and large on a list.

Identifying next actions
By identifying next actions you will have an easy actionable list. Things become smaller; you can do these small things to move the project forward. It also helps you from having to think about what needs to be done every time you pick up a new task.

You know you aren’t missing something
When you know you aren’t missing anything you can focus and start working on task number one. This will make you much more efficient and make that list smaller making you even less stressed.
Quickly you can start to get into a positive spiral and become more and more efficient.

Daniel M. Wood is a personal development coach and trainer. He has a background in Psychology, Sales, marketing and sports. Through his work with students around the world he has created the course “The Time Management Expert Course” that has helped hundreds of people decrease stress, increase their motivation and become a lot more efficient.

The course teaches you how to get control over your life and make room to be both spontaneous and relaxed.

Check out the course and see how it can help you.

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Self-improvement advice is everywhere. And it’s no surprise: with a rough economy, uncertainties about the future, and simple dissatisfaction with our lot in life, the desire to make things better – to make ourselves better – is a natural response.

But with all the self-improvement advice available, why do so many of us struggle to make lasting changes in our behavior? More than ever, we drink too much, spend too much, eat too much, sit too much, procrastinate too much, and worry too much. For those who want to change, the reasons are normally clear: improve health, wealth, and satisfaction. So, why do we quit?

Don’t get me wrong – much of the information on the web is valuable, posted by caring people who want to share strategies that have worked for them or have worked for others. However, the massive quantity of information is contributing to the problem: with so much advice, where do we start? Instead, many of us read a long list of “tips”, vow to change, then go back to our old ways.

It’s time to simplify.

One of the most described approaches to achieving goals is to divide big projects into a bunch of little steps. PickTheBrain has featured many articles with this very advice. It’s a great tip: take a monster of a project and break it down into tiny, isty-bitsy steps that are so easy to do, they happen naturally.

Why not apply that principle to self-improvement?

That’s the key to simplifying self-improvement: don’t tackle “50 Amazing Tips” all at once. Try one at a time, one per day. It’s so easy! Just print out a recent list of self-improvement wisdom, and make it a game to try one each day. When you’ve tackled a tip, cross it off the list… When you’re done with a list, print another one!

Before you know it, you’ll have logged countless hours of focused, self-improvement energy, accomplishing many “small wins” along the way. Rinse and repeat, and before you know it: you’re a totally new person.

Need some help getting started? Here is your first challenge. This is all you need to do today – complete the game and you’ve made progress in reshaping your own mind:

Challenge: Think Change

Task: Think about your own beliefs about self-improvement for 15 minutes.

Info: What are your attitudes towards change? Are you open to change or do you fear change? Do you think self-improvement is possible? For 15 minutes, explore your own beliefs about change. Brainstorm ways you might become more open to change. Determine mental obstacles to self-improvement. Challenge your own assumptions about what degree of self-change are possible.

Goal: Become more open-minded to the possibility of self-improvement.

Keep in mind: any self-improvement tip can be made into a daily challenge. Try it for yourself… Here are a number of tip-lists from PickTheBrain to get you on your way:

- 14 Ways to Procrastinate Productively
- 5 Simple Ways to Increase Your Intelligence
- 6 Ways to Minimize Interruptions When You Need to Focus

Don’t like those lists? That’s ok, find some tips about a topic that’s important to you. Try only one challenge per day. That may seem too easy, but that’s the point: self-improvement doesn’t have to be hard. Simplify your approach to self-improvement and you’ll be surprised how easy change can be.

This is a guest post by Vince Panzano who blogs at The Happy Homunculus, a website exploring the psychology and neuroscience of self-improvement.

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I hear it all the time from clients and people that I meet: they’re not motivated. They say they’re lazy and wish they could do this or that but…

I’m not big on excuses or labels, especially “lazy”. So, when I hear “I’m just not disciplined,” I almost always ask:

Have you ever been disciplined to do anything?

What was it that helped you?

What got in the way?

Identifying obstacles helps you build a sustainable foundation for perseverance in the face of adversity.

Motivation is personal. Discipline is a muscle.

You can learn to be motivated.

You HAVE to want to put time into it, to create a new habit, to make it part of your lifestyle.

Before your rebellious inner child starts an ‘I DON’T WANNA!’ tantrum, keep reading. One of these 5 poisons may be getting in your way of your heart’s desire.

The Top 5 Poisons of Motivation:
1. Perfectionism

Become a recovering perfectionist. Oh, yes, I did say that.

When you get caught up in ideals, you create resistance that gets in the way of your motivation. You’re stuck focusing on the ideal and think “If its not perfect, why bother?” We’re so addicted to this in our society. We feel that getting the best grades, getting the awards, getting all these accolades defines us and holds the basis of our self-worth.

And if we don’t get the gold star, we beat ourselves up and miss the point. If you get caught with in achieving perfect results, you’re never going to start anything. You’re paralyzed.

Thomas Edison invented 3,000 duds before he invented the lightbulb. He himself did not call it failure. Instead, he said: “Any of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”

Taking imperfect action is the best starting point.

2. Comparing yourself to others

This is another potent motivation-zapper. Even worse, it can prevent you from finding your own path. Motivation is truly personal.

Study what motivates others as inspiration, but if it  gets you stuck or moving backwards with doubt, then why bother? It’s easy to get lost in someone else’s life, wishing that it was your own.

Trying to be ‘like’ ANYONE is a total waste of time.

Yes, we’re all guilty of it. Remember: there is only one of YOU.

The universe made you perfect. Ignoring that and trying to emulate someone else is a slap in the face.

3. Thinking that you’re not ‘good enough’

If, like me, you grew up hearing “You have to prove yourself to the world!”, that mantra probably still follows you. It can run you to the ground.

I understand that in your work you have to show your abilities or your skills to prove you can deliver. But you shouldn’t rely on that for self-validation.

If you’ve been told you’re not good enough, I understand the programming. It hurts and digs deep. But make no mistake: it’s a LIE.

You have to be motivated to fulfill your soul’s desire, to create your own happiness, healing and harmony.

If you were born, then you are good enough.

You must change the theme song in your mind from You SUCK to You ROCK.

4. Doing too much at once.

Bitten off more than you can chew? That might be sabotaging your progress. You’ve got to pull back a little bit and really look at what’s going on. Don’t be a slave to your ego.

I get snagged by this one and always have to step back to make sure my choices are in alignment with my soul. If you feel that it’s too overwhelming, take one step at a time.

Baby steps.

The solution here is to hone in on your goal, desire, or dream. Life will happen. It will always take more time, more money or more anything than you anticipated. Don’t let it stop you, and remember to check in with your WHY.

It’s about setting goals that stretch you outside of your comfort zone and you believe, on one level, that you can achieve.  Go for a C+, good enough and I promise you will do better. It’s a great way to trick the ego and make it right. This may keep you motivated to do more.

Being aware and taking passionate action keeps you on the level and open to enjoying the adventure.

5. Excusitis.

There is always an excuse – why you can’t do it, why today it didn’t happen, how you’re going to do it tomorrow. When we find excuses for not doing things, we’re rebelling. We just want to stay in a comfort zone.

See how this comes up again?  A part of it is that your ego feels threatened by moving forward and wants to protect you.
But really, you’re totally safe.

When you do something you haven’t done before, your ego goes into a state of alarm: “Watch out! Danger!” and then fear kicks in.

But my answer to that is “No. FEAR is  f*cking exciting and rewarding.” This reframe changes the game.

We say “I can’t,” but really we’re afraid to try something new. That’s the truth and we’re afraid to admit it, or to even prove ourselves wrong. You are capable of more. You can handle more, even in the midst of a challenge.  Try it, you may be surprised, and bust a limiting belief.

What excuses are you living with?

Ready to release the need to live in your perfectionism, low self esteem and excuses? Then ask yourself this question.

What’s holding you back ?

Take your time, and don’t think about it – feel into it. Be kind with yourself. Your power is in your choices.

Now, go get’em warrior soul!

After a harrowing diagnosis, Multiple Sclerosis, Hillary Rubin ditched her glam job at Prada and set off on a wellness quest that spanned the globe. Today, she is symptom/medication-free, and has dedicated her life to helping thousands of women achieve profound, unbridled freedom from trauma, abuse and disease.  A Spiritual Life Design Coach, wellness pioneer and yogi, she has been featured on Fit TV, in The Los Angeles Times, The Independent, Yoga Journal and contributes to the Huffington Post and Origin magazines. Hillary is also writing her first book to help women alchemize adversity into action, with the forward by Agape Founder Michael Bernard Beckwith. Visit her here or join the conversation @hillaryrubin.

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5 Simple Ways To Beat Stress

Perhaps you find yourself getting upset, angry or despondent at times, feeling as though life is spiraling out of your control. It’s not a good state to be in – and you know that. But breaking away from those panicked feelings can be tough.
Here’s a few simple steps that can help you get back on top of things.
#1: Take a Quick Time-Out
It’s important to take a few minutes to breathe and focus. If you’re in the middle of a stressful situation – perhaps the house is a complete mess, or work is a huge, chaotic rush – then it’s hard to get any perspective.
Go for a quick walk, grab a shower, or just sit still with your eyes closed for a few minutes. Give yourself a chance to calm down, before you start trying to plan.
#2: Make a List
Once you’re feeling calmer, grab a piece of paper, or open up a document on your computer, and make a list of everything that you think you need to get done. If something’s on your mind, put it down – however big or small.
Your list may well have some urgent items (“clean kitchen before mother-in-law visits tomorrow”) and some which are more long-term, but important (“lose 50lbs and get fitter”).
Once you’ve got everything out of your head and onto paper, you’ll feel a lot better. Hopefully, you’ll already be able to see some items that can wait a while and others that can be checked off quickly. You might even want to start sorting or prioritizing your list, to make the next couple of steps easier.
#3: Start With Small Wins
Obviously, making a list isn’t going to get you far. (As a kid, did you ever make an elaborate, color-coded study plan for your exams? Did you actually stick to it?)
You need to start taking action – and a great place to begin is by tackling any “small wins” – simple, quick tasks that you can do straight away. They might not be especially important, but by doing them, you’ll start to build up a sense of momentum.
Small wins are especially powerful when they relate to tasks that you’ve been putting off – a phone call, perhaps, or sending off a letter.
#4: Ditch, Delegate, Delay
If your list still looks overwhelming, then it’s time to get rid of some tasks.
Can you ditch anything? Perhaps you don’t really need fresh-baked cookies for when your parents visit – you could just buy a packet from the store.
Can you delegate anything? If you’re overloaded at work, can you get a colleague to take over a few tasks? If you’re the one who does all the housework at home, how about assigning specific chores to your partner or kids?
Can you delay anything? If you’re rushing to get everything done before you head off on vacation, can you put off some things until you get back?
#5: Take Care of Your Health
Finally, when you’re feeling overwhelmed by life, it’s especially important to take care of your health. You know all the basics:

• Eat sensibly – don’t skip meals because you’re “too busy”, or grab junk food.
• Exercise regularly – even a 20-minute brisk walk every day can make a huge difference.
• Get enough sleep – cutting back won’t make you more productive, as you’ll end up slowing down during the day
If you get sick, you’re going to find it even harder to get things done – so make sure that your health is a priority.
What tips do you have for dealing with overwhelm? How do you get back on top of things when life is hectic?

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How To Motivate Yourself

Maybe you’ve got a big goal in your life – something that excites you but also scares you.

You might have been thinking about this goal for months, years, even decades. And, even if you’ve made a start on it, you might not have got very far.

Your goal might look something like this:

• Run a marathon
• Write a novel
• Pay off the mortgage
• Get a PhD
• Become self-employed

All of these are big goals – most of them would take years to achieve. And if you really want to reach them, you need to break them down into manageable chunks.

Here’s how.

#1: Define Your Goal

First, you’ll want to come up with a clear description of your end goal. Too many big goals are so vague that it’s hard to start and impossible to finish.

For instance, if your goal is “write a novel”, what would finished look like?

• A first draft?
• A novel that you’re happy with?
• A published novel?

If you want to run a marathon, what exactly does that mean?

• Would walking the whole marathon be okay?
• Or do you want to finish under a certain time?

Get clear about your goal. Decide what you’re aiming for, and write it down. Once you’ve done that, you can start on the next step.

#2: Break Your Goal into Major Milestones

Most goals can be divided into clear milestones. For instance, let’s say you’re planning to become self-employed. Your milestones might be:

• Get everything ready to start the business (plan, funding, tools)
• Make $500/month from the business
• Make $1000/month from the business
• Make enough to quit your day job and go full-time

…and so on.

These are still quite big steps, but they’re easier to grasp. You can start to imagine what’s necessary in order to achieve each milestone – and that’s what we’ll be covering in the next step.

#3: Come Up With a Task List

You don’t need to map out your entire goal – just your first milestone.

Come up with a clear task list: what exactly do you need to do? Try to phrase these as action items like “write proposal” or “ask John about tools”.

Here’s an example:

Goal: Run a marathon

First milestone: Jog for thirty minutes

Task list:

• Buy kit – trainers and loose-fitting clothes
• Get an exercise plan – ask for Sue’s help putting this together
• Jog three times a week and gradually build up to thirty minutes

Your task list doesn’t need to be long or complicated, but it should be clear. If any items are vague, then break them down further.

By now, your big goal has been divided into little steps. You know what you need to do during the next week or two – and you can see the milestones mapped out for the next few months or years.

“Run a marathon” is daunting. “Buy trainers” isn’t. But all those little steps really do add up – and in a year’s time, you could have achieved something amazing.

How could your big goals break down? If you want to share your thoughts, the comments are open…

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