Every moment of every day is a new beginning for your life through the words you choose to use.

Words make up your thoughts and ideas. They shape the images in your mind, coloring what you perceive and believe.

In the world around you, words make up text messages, tweets, and on your Facebook page they explain your pictures, your past and your plans. They make up the laws that rule much of your experience.

Yet all this being true, we seldom stop to think about the ongoing power of the words we use and string together, the empowerment of words at our disposal when used effectively, or the power unleashed against us at our peril when words are used without awareness.

Our mind is the light we shine second by second on the words we choose from the infinite lexicon before us. It is critically important that we be alertly aware: The words we choose to shine the light of our mind on, shape our very life and its quality.

Now if we stop for a moment and think of the avalanche of words we are inundated with from without, never mind from the running dialogue within, it is easy to see the confusion this can lead to. Which words to choose and will they lead to an effective direction in our life?

NEGATIVE AND POSITIVE WORDS

One common way to think about the words we use is to refer to them as negative thoughts or positive thoughts. This kind of classification provides some assistance in that it points out that negative thoughts and words often lead to negative feelings.

For instance: “I am too this or too that,” (This is often a comment about a body feature.), will lead to feelings of depression, anger or self-pity.

Conversely, it is popularly believed with this classification, sometimes to the point of it being called a secret that positive words and thoughts lead to positive feelings and outcomes in ones’ life.

For instance: “Just think positive and you’ll feel better.”

This kind of classification of our words and thoughts unfortunately polarizes words into good and bad, however, and this polarization can paralyze us. This is because at times so-called ‘negative’ words can be most positive in their impact on our life, and conversely positive words can easily lead us astray.

For instance, as I discuss in the book, The Three Word Truth about Love and Being Well, the word Won’t, seemingly negative, is a most powerful word leading to peace of mind and personal joy when used as follows: I Won’t judge, I Won’t criticize, or, I Won’t attach to outcome or stuff.

Conversely again, the seemingly positive word Will if not chosen with great care can lead one far astray in the power it unleashes and lead us into the dark.

For instance: I Will open that bottle of wine. I Will drive my car.

It is easy to see how the negative word Won’t can clear a space for the positive word Will, but Will needs to flow back to Won’t to keep it from going astray. I Won’t open that wine. I Will do that work I have been avoiding.  Won’t can eliminate the toxic in your life as Will can invite it back in.

TRANSCENDENT WORDS

Contrary to words classified as positive or negative, words that focus us in the ‘here and now’ tend to be transcendent. These are words like Am.

Here we can think about beginning each moment of our life with a transcendent word: I Am energy. I Am light. I Am Love.

Similarly a word like OM is used in meditation to center us in the power of the present.

I Am says there is no doubt and no obstacle that cannot be overcome; I AM transcends perception.

For example: ‘I Am going to do this’ says in fact it is already done. ‘I Am Love’ says I love the world and my view of the world is loving; as this is not a hostile view, it dissolves fear, guilt and anger.

WORKING THE WORDS

If we decide to center our life around just Three Words, Won’t, Will, (Intention) and Am we can see and feel the empowerment presented to us in the abundance of the world; we also see a way to cut through the confusion of endless words coming at us from inside and outside.

If you become clear as you begin each moment of your life to work these Three Words, that is decide what you Won’t do, you open up a space to begin the next moment with what you Will do.

Centering in WILL as the creation you are, you are able to transcend your fear, doubt, guilt and anger by realizing in your essence I Am, as is everyone else.

This realization in turn will lead you back to what you Won’t do and what you Will do as you shape your surface personality that is now ready to extend truth, beauty, creativity, love and joy to the world.

Dr. Clark Falconer is a Guest Blogger for PickTheBrain. He is a practicing Psychiatrist from Vancouver, Canada and the author of the new, critically acclaimed book The Three Word Truth About Love And Being Well. To receive daily tips on the power of words follow Clark on Twitter.

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It has been 7 years since my graduation day and I still remember the excitement; I was relieved that the ”exam phase” of my life was over; I looked with enthusiam towards my first job. Little did I know that the “working world” would require an extraodinary effort and loads of other skills!

My journey on the career ladder would have been smoother, had I known a few important lessons. While there are many ”on the job” lessons, some things in life must be experienced, to be truly understood. What follows are 8 such career lessons, I wish they’d handed out to me along with my diploma.

1. Your career is not your life. Many of us rely heavily on our careers for satisfaction in our lives. We get immersed in the day-to-day rush of our work and discover that we no longer have the time, energy or inspiration.
For some people (my former self included), it’s as if our jobs are part of our bodies, and if we don’t see ourselves as successful in them, we feel almost physically unhealthy. As a result, we question ourselves when things aren’t going in the direction we hoped. Consciously separating your self from your career allows for a greater perspective on both.

2. Be indispensible (at least one area)
There are certain things that you can do, or that you can learn to do, that can make you extraordinarily valuable to yourself and to others. Identify your special areas of uniqueness and then to commit yourself to becoming very, very good in those areas.
Take stock of your unique talents and abilities on a regular basis. What is it that you do especially well? What are you good at? What do you do easily and well that is difficult for other people? Identifying what separates you from thoses around you, and concentrating on those skills will make your unique skill set invaluable and hard to replace.

3. Don’t grow stale in your career. We live in a world where technology is evolving rapidly. This has a direct consequence on your career. Stay up to speed on the latest happenings in your field. Read various articles and books to keep your mind sharp. Attend seminars at your present job if offered. Seek out mentors who can advise or educate you. Don’t become comfortable with the status quo or complacent about things you are already good at – you can always be better, so taket he time to find out how.

4. Guard your time like a hawk. At work, we often find ourselves bombarded with ‘urgent’ requests. All of these urgent requests can disrupt the thinking processes. Sometimes it may take twice as long to get something done, simply because of the interruption. Learn to say No (with good reason!) and prioritize your tasks.

5. Polish your people skills. You may do your job well, even so well that no one can complain. But you never seem to get ahead. Sound familiar?
People issues can be one of the main reasons people leave jobs. It can also be a cause for dissatisfaction and reduced productivity. Bottom line: you need people skills to move up.

6. Communicate effectively. No matter what career path you choose to follow, you have to have good written and oral communication skills to get ahead in your career.
Make a real effort to listen to everything that’s being said to you. Observe and learn from others who make it seem effortless.

7. Keep your cool. We sometimes forget that we are in a professional environment and tend to curse and behave like a teenager. Whatever happens, don’t explode or throw your arms up in resignation. Keep your mind clear at the worst of times and you’ll be able to handle anything. There’s nothing more respectable than being calm under fire. So take a deep breath, or a walk around the block, and find away to diffuse your frustration before you address whatever the problem is.

8. Shield your reputation. The people you hang out with will add value or break your good name. Also, if you spend time with people who gossip and tear others down, you are likely to catch it too.
So, identify ways to develop and maintain a professional image that is positive and genuine. Surround yourself with positive people who seek to grow and improve.
Looking back at your career, what has been most responsible for your success? Any lessons you would like to add to this graduation day handout?

Shamelle is a Guest Blogger for PickTheBrain and the founder of The Enhance Life, a blog offering real life wisdom, for modern life growth.

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One tenet you’ll often hear in personal development circles is that “it’s good to talk” or “a burden shared is a burden halved”. Sometimes, though, when feeling down, you’ll talk to a spouse, parent or friend about how you feel … and you’ll find that you’re just dragging yourself into a deeper and blacker mood.

So why is it that talking doesn’t always help? And how can you help someone who wants to talk to you about their woes?

Talking Often Focuses on the Problem

Perhaps you’ve been feeling a bit down recently. Maybe you have bleak days when it seems like you’ve lost your direction in life. You might talk to a friend about it, detailing all the things you wish you could do (if only you had the money, or the time, or the skills), and endlessly dissecting everything that’s wrong in your life.

Talking about everything that’s wrong just reinforces your focus on things that aren’t currently working. If you’re already in a bad mood, it’ll send you spiralling further and further down. Have you ever had the experience of “working yourself into a state” – feeling a bit anxious or angry about something, and dwelling on it until the molehill becomes a mountain?

Tip for Helping: If someone wants to talk to you about everything that’s wrong in their life, encourage them to find something that’s good. Ask “what’s been better recently?” This is a technique that the coach Mark Forster uses and explains in his book How to Make Your Dreams Come True.

Talking May Mean Saying Something You Regret

When you’re in a bad mood, or feeling very fed up about something, it’s easy to think that your state of mind represents your real feelings about a job, relationship, or life situation. The truth is, how you feel when in a bad mood is no more “real” or objective than the way you feel when everything’s going swimmingly.

One danger of trying to talk through your bad moods is that you’ll end up saying something you’ll regret. Perhaps you’ll think, at the time, that you’re telling your friend a few home truths … but later you’ll realise that you don’t really think that of them at all. Maybe you’ll tell colleagues that you hate your job, despite finding it perfectly pleasant most of the time: do you want your words making their way through the office grapevine to your boss?

Tip for Helping: Try to treat anything that someone says in anger, or while upset, as something that they don’t really mean. If you do end up saying something that you regret, don’t be too hesitant to apologize once you’ve calmed down.

Talking Only Works if Someone Listens

Unfortunately, most people in the world are not good listeners – and I include myself here. When listening to someone, it’s easy to let your mind wander, or to stop concentrating on their words in order to think about what you’re going to say next. We often don’t even hear the actual words that are said – let alone the intention behind them, and the wealth of stuff that is implied.

You may get frustrated when you talk about your problems because people just don’t seem to understand. Perhaps they brush off the major issues as unimportant, and attend to the minor ones; perhaps they offer advice when all you wanted was someone to listen patiently. Maybe they’ve completely missed the point.

Tip for Helping: Learn how to listen actively. If you’re seeking help, try going to a life coach, counsellor or someone else who has been trained to listen and to help you work through problems.

Do you find that talking to someone when you’re in a bad mood helps you to feel better – or does it tend to make things worse? Have you been able to help people by listening to them when they’re going through a bleak spell?

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