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There are no shortage of ‘experts’ that claim to know the secret of maximum productivity. At first someone will swear that the only way to really get things done is to multi-task: more done, less time. Then immediately someone will counter that it’s far simpler, more effective and rewarding and ultimately more ‘zen’ to do one task at a time: single-tasking.

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Time is our most valued asset. Our most precious resource.

Many people claim that they are overworked, over-stressed, and incredibly pressed for time. While I don’t know if that’s necessarily true or not, I can say that time is something that’s always on everybody’s mind.

In the personal development world, we often think of time as something we “spend,” and when we want to grab more time for an activity, time is something we then “create.” But is that really true? The fact is that you can never really create any more time than what you’ve been given. You can free up time. But you can never truly create more of it.

In this post, I want to explain four easy tips to help you find more time to do the activities you love. Let’s get to it!

1. Take an entire day off for relaxation.

The first tip I have might seem a bit counter-intuitive, but it’s worked wonders for me.

When you’re feeling as if you have too much on your plate, one of the best things you could ever do is clear everything off of your plate. Just let all nonessential responsibilities slide to the side for the day. True, something urgent might pop up, and you probably won’t be able to be relinquished of all of your responsibilities, but a day of relaxation can seriously free up your mind.

Instead of stressing out and trying to find little ways to cut corners here and there to free up time, take a day off just to let your mind think and relax. When the next day rolls around, see if you can spot any ways to more efficiently and productively schedule your time. By taking a day off, you gain an outsider’s perspective into your time management dilemma. You can take a step back, clear your mind, and tackle your challenges with a fresh perspective.

2. Swap time given to one activity with to another activity.

Fairly simple, right? Choose one activity that you do that really doesn’t need to be done, and replace it with a better activity.

Instead of watching TV for an hour, go build your online business. Instead of idly reading cheap romance novels that don’t have much inherent value, go connect with your family members and friends. With this method, you’re taking large chunks of time already devoted to certain activities and reassigning that time to something else.

3. Be consciously aware of what you’re doing.

Everybody’s been in those tricky situations where they’re pressed to meet a deadline and the project they’re working on isn’t quite done yet. Whether it be for school or work, you know the dreadful feeling of the clock ticking faster and faster as the deadline quickly approaches.

What happens to your productivity in these situations? It naturally shoots up like a rocket. When suddenly nothing else matters but the project that’s due in two hours, you somehow magically manage to get it completed. Why do you think this is? It’s because you were consciously aware of what you were doing. When you don’t have time to waste on anything, you become acutely aware of the time.

What if you lived your life like this, just for a day? For one day, don’t just go through your daily motions. Be totally aware of how you’re spending your time. Keep a clock by you at all times and notice what you’re spending your time on. Are you going to be speeding up certain tasks and taking your time with other ones? How is your time going to be managed if you completely realize that there’s only a certain amount of minutes in a day?

4. Trim the fat off of what you’re already doing.

Do you really need an hour to do a task that you know you can complete within 45 minutes? Go though all of the tasks you do, estimate the time it takes you to complete all of those tasks, and see if you can snip away extra minutes. Try doing hour tasks in 45 minutes; try doing 30 minute tasks in 20 minutes.

Some tasks will naturally take too long if you give yourself too much time, such as writing a new blog entry or cleaning up your house. Most of the time, it doesn’t take long at all for people to get into the flow of things, so they mindlessly procrastinate because they’ve given themselves so much time towards completion. Don’t let this happen to you! Force yourself to get your work done in less time, and then assign those minutes to something else worthwhile. Make a schedule and document the true value of time that needs to be dedicated to each task. If you’ve figured you can do something in 30 minutes, and you’ve laid out that plan for yourself, it is far easier to get it done within that allotted time.

Getting things done in a thought out, timely matter, will end up generating a lot more free time to spend on the things you really love doing. Not only will you accomplish more, but getting to the point and getting things done you will also free up your mind, so you are not distracted by all of the things you haven’t yet accomplished and you will be able to put your full energy into every moment.

What are some of your suggestions for reclaiming and reassigning your lost time?

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Matt is a guest blogger for PickTheBrain.com and  is the founder of Refocused Living – a personal development blog dedicated to genuinely helping people out through all aspects of self-improvement.

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It has been 7 years since my graduation day and I still remember the excitement; I was relieved that the ”exam phase” of my life was over; I looked with enthusiam towards my first job. Little did I know that the “working world” would require an extraodinary effort and loads of other skills!

My journey on the career ladder would have been smoother, had I known a few important lessons. While there are many ”on the job” lessons, some things in life must be experienced, to be truly understood. What follows are 8 such career lessons, I wish they’d handed out to me along with my diploma.

1. Your career is not your life. Many of us rely heavily on our careers for satisfaction in our lives. We get immersed in the day-to-day rush of our work and discover that we no longer have the time, energy or inspiration.
For some people (my former self included), it’s as if our jobs are part of our bodies, and if we don’t see ourselves as successful in them, we feel almost physically unhealthy. As a result, we question ourselves when things aren’t going in the direction we hoped. Consciously separating your self from your career allows for a greater perspective on both.

2. Be indispensible (at least one area)
There are certain things that you can do, or that you can learn to do, that can make you extraordinarily valuable to yourself and to others. Identify your special areas of uniqueness and then to commit yourself to becoming very, very good in those areas.
Take stock of your unique talents and abilities on a regular basis. What is it that you do especially well? What are you good at? What do you do easily and well that is difficult for other people? Identifying what separates you from thoses around you, and concentrating on those skills will make your unique skill set invaluable and hard to replace.

3. Don’t grow stale in your career. We live in a world where technology is evolving rapidly. This has a direct consequence on your career. Stay up to speed on the latest happenings in your field. Read various articles and books to keep your mind sharp. Attend seminars at your present job if offered. Seek out mentors who can advise or educate you. Don’t become comfortable with the status quo or complacent about things you are already good at – you can always be better, so taket he time to find out how.

4. Guard your time like a hawk. At work, we often find ourselves bombarded with ‘urgent’ requests. All of these urgent requests can disrupt the thinking processes. Sometimes it may take twice as long to get something done, simply because of the interruption. Learn to say No (with good reason!) and prioritize your tasks.

5. Polish your people skills. You may do your job well, even so well that no one can complain. But you never seem to get ahead. Sound familiar?
People issues can be one of the main reasons people leave jobs. It can also be a cause for dissatisfaction and reduced productivity. Bottom line: you need people skills to move up.

6. Communicate effectively. No matter what career path you choose to follow, you have to have good written and oral communication skills to get ahead in your career.
Make a real effort to listen to everything that’s being said to you. Observe and learn from others who make it seem effortless.

7. Keep your cool. We sometimes forget that we are in a professional environment and tend to curse and behave like a teenager. Whatever happens, don’t explode or throw your arms up in resignation. Keep your mind clear at the worst of times and you’ll be able to handle anything. There’s nothing more respectable than being calm under fire. So take a deep breath, or a walk around the block, and find away to diffuse your frustration before you address whatever the problem is.

8. Shield your reputation. The people you hang out with will add value or break your good name. Also, if you spend time with people who gossip and tear others down, you are likely to catch it too.
So, identify ways to develop and maintain a professional image that is positive and genuine. Surround yourself with positive people who seek to grow and improve.
Looking back at your career, what has been most responsible for your success? Any lessons you would like to add to this graduation day handout?

Shamelle is a Guest Blogger for PickTheBrain and the founder of The Enhance Life, a blog offering real life wisdom, for modern life growth.

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We have two ears and one mouth. Just based on our body parts, you’d think we’d all be natural listeners. But we’re really not. You’re born with the ability to hear, but you have to develop the ability to listen. The normal listening mode for most people is passive. Words come in one ear, and go out the other. Important information is missed. Details are overlooked. Reasoning is misunderstood. People feel disrespected.
The alternative to passive listening is active listening, where you’re more of a participant than a spectator, even though you’re not the one talking. It’s a better way to listen effectively. Here’s how to do it:

1. Be prepared to actively listen.
If you start off intending to listen passively, you’ve already lost. Listening well is much harder than you think, and it won’t happen by itself. Simply deciding that you’re going to actively listen puts you in the right frame of mind for actually doing it.
2. Stay physically focused.
If your body can’t stay still, your mind won’t either. Being physically present in the conversation is obviously essential for good listening, but many people fail at it. Don’t multitask. If you’re checking your email while talking on the phone, you’re not listening to that person. Don’t fidget, drum your fingers, or do pen tricks. Make good eye contact, and don’t interrupt the conversation to take a phone call or perform any other task.
One great way to ruin a conversation is to look at your watch when someone’s talking. While you may have a good reason for doing so, it’s a clear signal to the other person that you’re not as interested in listening to them as you are in getting on to your next thing. Even if you think you can be subtle about checking the time, they’ll probably notice. If you absolutely must look at your watch, do it when you’re talking, not when they’re talking. This makes a huge psychological difference to the other person.
3. Stay mentally focused.
OK, you’ve managed to make your body sit still. That’s the easy part. Just because you appear to be listening doesn’t mean you are. Does your mind jump around between topics that have nothing to do with the conversation? Listening requires your full attention, so a wandering mind is no good here. Save the daydreaming for your own time. If other conversations are happening around you, tune them out. Block out all background noise and focus on the person you’re talking to. Specifically, focus on the message they’re trying to get across. If you’re thinking about how they don’t pronounce the g at the end of a word they’re sayin’, you’re paying attention to the wrong thing. The important part is their message, not their grammar or diction. Tone and body language can be very important too, so don’t forget to look beyond their words. If you find yourself in a boring conversation, try to find something interesting about it. Putting up with a few minutes of less than stellar discussion might pay off. Anyway, it’s the polite thing to do.
4. Let them talk.
When they’re talking, you want to be sure you give them room to say what they want to say. Don’t get impatient if they don’t get to the point as quickly as you’d like. Be respectful, and let them talk their way.
Don’t correct mispronounced words, finish their sentences, make disapproving faces, or interrupt to say you disagree. In fact, you shouldn’t even be thinking about what you’re going to say next. Just listen. To make sure they know you want to listen, encourage them to keep speaking by nodding and saying “go on” or “tell me more.”
5. React appropriately.
After they’ve finished talking, only then should you respond. Don’t jump the gun by rushing to judgment before they’ve even finished. In fact, even after they’re done, you still might want to pause to think before responding.
Do it in a way that shows you were paying attention. You can summarize what they said in your own words, to make sure you understand it correctly. You can ask follow-up questions. Offer feedback based on your careful consideration of what they said. Listening is fairly simple, but it’s not easy. It does take effort, especially when you’re not really in the mood for it. But it’s worth it. By listening well, you not only greatly reduce misunderstandings, but you also give people that warm fuzzy feeling of knowing that someone really listened to them.
About the writer: Hunter Nuttall wants you to stop sucking and live a life of abundance. Visit his site to learn how to improve your life and your income.

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One great question to ask if you’re interested in self-improvement is “Am I investing in myself?”  – particularly when you’re feeling stuck, or when your progress towards your goals hasn’t been so fast as you’d like.

So what does “investing in yourself” mean? This depends on what your goals are, but these are three big areas you might want to invest some time, money and thought in:
•    Your appearance
•    Your skills
•    Your health

All of these are important for success in many walks of life. Here’s why, and some ideas how you can invest in each.

Investing In Your Appearance

This might seem a very shallow thing to put at the top. Unfortunately, like it or not, we all tend to judge on appearances. In some jobs or roles, looking the part can make a real difference to how others perceive and treat you.

Just as importantly, your appearance can have huge effects on your self confidence. Have you ever been at an event where you misjudged the formality and ended up very under-dressed or over-dressed? I’ll bet you felt awkward and out of place. Conversely, you might well have taken extra care over your grooming before a big presentation, and felt more confident as a result.

Investing in your appearance might mean:
•    Saving up for a good suit
•    Getting up ten minutes earlier to have time to look your best for work
•    Asking a fashionable friend for advice on your usual “look”
•    Losing some weight (also important for health reasons)
•    Taking some time to revamp your wardrobe, ensuring you have clothes that mix and match well

If you feel that your appearance is the big area you need to invest in, Trent from The Simple Dollar has some strong advice (particularly if you’re in a fairly traditional job) in his article on The Value of Personal Appearance.

Investing in Your Skills

All of us have a certain skill set, often based on our jobs (current and past), our hobbies and our day-to-day experiences. Employers tend to be interested primarily in skills – what you can do. Some of these will be very specific to particular jobs (technical skills, such as being able to program a computer) and other skills are “transferable skills” that you can use in many careers as well as in day-to-day life (such as public speaking or presentational skills).

Clear five or ten uninterrupted minutes when you can sit down and list your skills. Put down little things as well as big ones – being able to bake the perfect cake is a skill!

What skills could you develop, with the investment of a little time or money? Could any of these form the basis of a new career, a side business, a fulfilling hobby, or something you could offer to your community?

Some ways to invest in your skills are:
•    Read a book that teaches you something new in a particular area
•    Attend a local course
•    Take part in an online course
•    Ask someone to mentor you
•    Schedule regular time to practise

Investing in Your Health

Too many of us are storing up health problems for later life – one that could cause financial problems or give us a huge reduction in quality of life. It’s much cheaper to focus on staying healthy than to take preventative action once something’s gone wrong. If you’re in good health, you’ll perform better at work, you’ll have more energy to work towards your goals, and you’ll generally feel happier!

Don’t just think about your physical health, either; mental health is just as important (and, indeed, your mental and physical health can’t be considered in complete isolation). By investing some time and money now, you could save yourself a huge amount of both in the future. Here are some ideas to get you started:
•    If you’re over or under weight, start taking action
•    Get some exercise each day – great for your body and mind
•    Take good care of your teeth (dental hygiene, and regular visits to your dentist) – tooth  pain can be crippling
•    If you work at a computer, learn about RSI and how to prevent it.
•    Eat a healthy, balanced diet, focusing on fruits, veggies, wholegrains and lean proteins.
•    Don’t smoke, take drugs, or drink excessive amounts of alcohol.

What areas could you invest in? Is it worth spending some money or some time now in order to improve your position in the future?

Got a Self Improvement Question? Click Here!

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At times, we all have things going on in our minds. There can be the little worries of having to go to the shop because there’s no food in the cupboards, to the big worries like being severely in debt or having a family member in hospital.

The “problem” with worrying is that it can have serious implications on our physical and mental health. People who have previously been in top shape can let one problem get to them so badly that they start having panic attacks or have their problems incessantly on their mind.

I should know, I’ve had times in my life where I have let my problems literally take over my thought patterns and consume me at all times. Yet, with the four simple steps today, it’s actually fairly simple to literally eliminate unnecessary worrying from your life.

After this, I also believe that life will start to feel a lot lighter, as if a heavy burden has been lifted from your shoulders.

1. Consider the Worst Possible Outcome

A few years ago one of my friends confided in me that he wasn’t sure whether he wanted to continue playing for the school football team that we were on. At the next training session when he didn’t show up, the coach asked me what was wrong, and I told him that my friend might have lost his passion and I wasn’t sure if he would be back.

A couple of days later my friend came back to me and said how he really wanted to start playing again, and had merely been going through a rough time when he told me what he did. I instantly remembered how I had told the coach my friend might not want to play anymore, and started worrying about the possible outcome.

Thoughts ran through my head such as “Would the coach pick him for the next game?”, “Would the coach tell him what I said?”, “Would he be dropped from the team?” and so on. I let this situation really get to me and the possible outcomes really consumed my thoughts.

About a week later I built up the courage to tell the coach I might have been wrong about my friend and the coach gave me a very nonchalant reply “Oh it’s fine, I had forgotten about it anyway”. Instead of worrying for a week, I could have looked at the worst possible outcome – probably that the coach would tell my friend and I would have to explain things – and then just taken action.

The worst that could have happened is rarely that bad when we really look at things, so I advise you to do this with all of the things you are worrying about. Look at the worst possible outcome, and then work to improve on that as best you can.

2. Keep Yourself Busy

The reason that we love Television so much is that it literally absorbs us into what is going on. When we are watching the black box we forget about everything else for a while and are totally consumed in the flashing images on screen.

It is for this amount of time that our worries and problems disappear, even if at the time we aren’t aware of it. It is only when we have the time to think and worry about something, that it actually becomes a problem.

If, on the other hand, you can keep yourself busy doing something like studying, cleaning or just socialising then you limit the time you have to let your problems consume you. After all, something is only a problem when you think about it.

3. Realise You Can Get Through Anything

I firmly believe that it is completely up to us how we deal and react with every single situation in life. And, for that reason, I believe it is possible to see the positive in everything and enjoy almost all aspects of life. That being said though, it is much easier said than done, and there are definitely hard times which we have all faced in life.

Have you struggled? Is there something that has happened in your life that was really terrible? If so, then realise you got through it in one piece. How do I know? Because you’re sitting in front of a computer screen and able to spend your time reading an article like this.

No matter what challenges you have came across in your life, you have been able to get through them. Because of that, you will be able to do exactly the same again with whatever you are worrying about now or anything that faces you in the future.

4. Put Things Into Perspective

Just like looking at the worst possible outcome can force us to realise our worries really aren’t that bad, so can the art of putting things into perspective.

Unless something threatens your health or the health of those around you, then it is not that big of a problem. Debt, a break-up or even losing a material item is really nothing compared to the possibility of death or something really serious.

I remember the story of one man in a poor area of America who really wanted to become a music producer. He spent as much of his spare time as he could making music and honing his talents. Yet, his parents wanted something different. They wanted him to become a lawyer or a doctor purely for financial reasons, despite the fact that he had no interest in either.

They pushed him so hard and so often that one day he ended up committing suicide, leaving a note of how he wished they would have supported him. Put things into perspective.

Thanks to the four steps above, and living in the moment as often as possible, I have practically eliminated all worries and problems from my life. If you follow these steps and put them into action, you’ll find that it is perfectly possible for you to do the same.

I would love to hear your feedback and additions in the comments below!

Glen is  Guest Blogger for PickTheBrain.com. He writes on the subject of Personal Development at PluginID. He also teaches people that they can be who they want to be through personality development.

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How many new thoughts and new skills can you learn over a lifetime? What number would you give it?

I’ll give you a clue. The number is huge. Humungous. Out of this world. Any ideas?

Here’s the answer. Think of the number 1, followed by zeros that would fill an 800 page book, both sides of the page and in standard font size 12. Then go off the last page for another 6.2 million miles of zeros.

Read that again.

Now isn’t that amazing? That’s how many new things and skills we as humans can learn. That’s how many new thoughts we can own. That’s how many new behaviours we can expose.

Your possibilities have no limits. There is no limit on your capacity to learn new things. No limits whatsoever for your brain to learn, to memorize, develop, achieve and perform at higher levels than you can ever imagine.

It makes no difference what your age is. You are capable of learning anything new that you want to learn. You are able to develop your brain right up to the moment that you breathe out your last breath.

Your brain has the capacity to achieve way beyond what was ever thought possible.

So now is the time to break out of your limited thinking by dreaming big dreams and imagining unlimited possibilities.

Becoming successful is not impossible. In fact, it is virtually impossible not to be successful. It’s a choice you make, your decision. Every day, step by step, you may climb the mountain of success if you’ve decided to do so – if you are committed to accomplish what others think impossible.

Make it your choice, from today, to head towards improving your life; whether it is to learn more about your business or job, to start your own part-time or full-time business, to develop your writing skills, to practice for your driving test.

Whatever your goal is make that decision to do it. Feel excited and motivated to take unconditional action; to act in spite of fear, doubt and inconvenience.

How would you motivate yourself to take unyielding action? Here’s how:

1.    Create an attitude of determination. Every action that you take in life is first filtered through your feelings that are in your unconscious mind. How you feel about something determines what you do and how well you do it.

Where do those feelings come from?

Your feelings are created, controlled and influenced by your attitudes. Your attitude is your perspective from which you view life. Whatever attitude you have about anything will affect how you feel, which affects how you act.

It is your attitude that will determine your motivation level; whether you will take action or not.

2.    Create an attitude of motivation. There are many people out there who believe, or are under the strong impression, that motivation is something that will come to them when the time is ready. In the meantime, they can carry on with their lives as is.

Of course, this is not the case. Motivation is an attitude, a way of thinking that we create for ourselves. It is not something we wait for in the hope that ’someday’ I will have all the motivation I need to accomplish all that I want.

That ’someday’ might never come!

Science of success experts have concluded that the brain is a goal-setting organism. No matter what goal you give to your unconscious mind, it will work day and night, 24/7, to achieve it for you; to make it a reality.

Dig deep. Find the goal, the strong feelings and attitude behind the goal that will spur your unyielding motivation to get you and keep you moving. Every day, make that choice an intention to have what it is that you are aspiring after.

And day by day, your level of motivation will stack one layer over the other, providing you with a warehouse of motivation energy. The more motivated action that you take, the easier it will be for you to escalate your feelings, your attitude and your motivation.

The more you generate high feelings and attitudes of energy the more motivation you will feel surging within you. And the more you store your ready-to-be-released motivation, the easier it will become for you to be motivated to take all the necessary action to accomplish your objectives and reach your goals.

Hani Al-Qasem is a published author and personal growth specialist. He co-authored Self-Confidence Building in 7 Steps and Establish Powerful Self-Enhancing Beliefs.

Download the free e-book Establish Powerful Self-Enhancing Beliefs and eliminate the limiting beliefs that keep you from enjoying happiness and success. Get motivated and Stay Motivated to achieve more.

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Sometimes, we can feel as though we’re stuck in a rut. The daily routine of work, chores, and family begins to become very “samey”. Perhaps we stop at the same coffee shop each morning, grab lunch from the same outlet each day, and invariably spend the evening slumped in front of the tv or computer.

If you’re trying to get inspired – whether for a creative project, or simply towards life change – a routine can actively work against you. Your mind is comfortable with the small bit of world that you see each day, and you never challenge yourself to go beyond your comfort zone.

Here are some simple ways to take small steps outside your usual routine, to dip your toe into the bigger world beyond the wake-work-home-sleep model, to expand your horizons and get inspired…

Take a Different Route to Work

Do you travel to work (or college, or your kids’ school, etc) every day? My bet is you always take the same route – and you probably feel quite put out if you have to divert to a different one. Once a week, why not set off ten minutes earlier and take a different route? Walk down a street you’ve never been through before, or stop off for coffee in a different part of town.

This is a very easy way to give yourself new input from the world: new sights, sounds, perhaps new people to meet along the way. If you’re lucky, you might even find that your new route is better than the old one!

Another way to mix up your commute is to try a different form of transport. If you usually take the train, can you get the bus instead? (It’s often cheaper.) If you normally drive alone, how about carpooling? You’ll save money and have someone to chat to on the way.

Ask a Friend to Recommend a Book

Most of us are quite conservative in our reading habits. Perhaps we only read crime novels, or wouldn’t touch science-fiction with a barge-pole. Maybe we think “literature” is all boring and worthy, or conversely, that “commercial” fiction is trash. Or, we only read non-fiction, or would never dream of picking up a book of poetry.

Ask a friend or colleague to recommend one of their favourite books – ideally, something that changed the way they think, or that they’ve read time and time again. Get hold of a copy and read it. You might be surprised how it sparks new ideas, or opens your mind to a new way of thinking.

Do Something Different in the Evenings

Are your evenings packed with emails and chores? Or, do you spend the evening hours drifting around the house aimlessly, watching television and pretty much filling time until you go to bed? Neither is especially healthy.

Why not go out on a weeknight, for a change? This can make your evening into an event – you’ll go to bed feeling satisfied that you’ve done something interesting and enjoyable. If your weekends are busy with family obligations, going out on a weekday evening can be a great way to do some things out of your usual routine: perhaps a trip to the theatre, to a gallery, or even a museum.

Take a Day Off

One of the most powerful ways to break out of a rut is to take a whole day off. If you don’t have any leave left at work, use a Saturday or Sunday. Cancel all your usual activities and obligations, and give yourself permission to do anything you want with the day. Go for a long, solitary walk; write poetry; go shopping; read a whole blockbuster novel; lie in the grass and gaze at the clouds…

If you’re one of the many people who find it almost impossible to identify what you actually want to do, that’s a good place to start. Write a list of things you might like to do, see, or achieve. Can you do any of them in a day? If you’re really stuck for ideas, try rolling a dice or flipping a coin. What you do doesn’t matter so much as the fact that you do do something!

Have you ever felt stuck in a rut? Do you follow the same routine, day in, day out? What small changes could you make?

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“You spent the first half of your life becoming somebody.  Now you can work on becoming nobody, which is really somebody.  For when you become nobody there is no tension, no pretense, no one trying to be anyone or anything.  The natural state of the mind shines through unobstructed – and the natural state of the mind is pure love.”  Ram Dass

I recently turned 40.

No, I’m not wearing “old man socks” yet but I certainly understand the trait of being that brings about this tragedy of fashion; which I believe can be summed up quite bluntly in two words:

“Who cares!?”

This carefree trait is one of contentment and it illustrates the process of (and value inherent in) becoming nobody – where “the natural state of the mind shines through unobstructed.”

“Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are.” ~ Chinese Proverb

Have you ever worn old man socks?  These socks are soft, form-fitting and made to be worn comfortably for long periods of time.  The fact that dress socks don’t “look right” with tennis shoes and plaid shorts is barely an afterthought in relation to the priorities of comfort and practicality.

Most of you likely understand the value of comfort, such as the little pleasures found in wearing a t-shirt and an old pear of jeans or staying in your flannel pajamas and slippers all day.

Before I digress entirely away from my point (there actually is a point here), a certain attitude or life perspective that goes beyond material pleasure can be found underneath these old man socks.

“One’s own self is well-hidden from one’s own self; of all mines of treasure, one’s own is the last to be dug up.” ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

Of course, age or gender certainly does not preclude one’s appreciation of old man socks and the wisdom of becoming nobody.

The realization that the hyper-intentional pursuit of trying to be somebody other than one self is a misguided (and entirely too common) pursuit influenced by the ever-presence and dominance of social conventions and media noise.

From childhood, social messages implicitly and explicitly tell us how to behave, what image to portray, what products will supposedly provide the perception of such an image, what to study in college, what career to pursue (usually based upon money and social status) and how to define “retirement” and how to obtain it in the quickest fashion.

Amidst this noise, and along the path to become somebody, the true self becomes covered or hidden.

“Health is the greatest possession.  Contentment is the greatest treasure.  Confidence is the greatest friend.  Non-being is the greatest joy.” ~ Lau Tzu

I expect many readers of PTB can add their depth of thought to this subject (and I hope many will do so in comments following this post), but here are my thoughts and observations attributable to the values found underneath old man socks – the wisdom of becoming nobody:

•    Contentment:  Being comfortable in your own skin (and socks) and being content with your present monetary, material and social wealth (or lack thereof) actually makes you “rich” – not the attainment of “more.”  As Epicurus said, “If thou wilt make a man happy, add not unto his riches but take away from his desires.”
•    Giving / Unintended Success:  The dedication to a cause greater than oneself, with little or no selfish motives, is the greatest enabler of success.  In other words, not caring about success will sooner provide a higher quality of success than a hyper-intentional desire to quickly create it.
•    Self-awareness:  The simple awareness of who you are, where you are going and why you are going there is essential in separating (and uncovering) your self from social conventions.  As Lau Tzu said, “If you don’t change direction, you may end up where you are heading.”
•    The Power of Nothingness:  Continuing upon the Taoist theme, there is power in “nothingness” and assuming the “low position:” The rivers flow to the ocean because it is in the lowest position; the high inclines toward the low; a ship floats because the hull is hollow; simplicity is stronger than complexity; less is more; creation follows destruction; something comes from nothing; and somebody comes from nobody.

“We get so much in the habit of wearing disguises before others that we finally appear disguised before ourselves.” ~ Francois de la Rochefoucauld

Returning to the primary theme, woven into the lighthearted fabric of old man socks, one can see the value of becoming nobody.

Which of these is more of a tragedy – wearing a “disguise” in the pursuit of becoming somebody or something other than one self or wearing old man socks and being content with becoming nobody?

The former is an empty victory – a tragedy of self.  The latter is a tragedy of fashion; however, it is a victory of self – it embodies the wisdom of becoming nobody.

What are your thoughts?  Have you discovered the wisdom of becoming nobody?

Kent Thune is a Guest Blogger for PickTheBrain. He is the author of the Financial Philosopher.

Image courtesy of Rumpers.

Everyone smiles.  From industrialized nations to remote tribes, studies have shown that smiling is universal.  Even more stunning is that people from all over the world smile the same way.  Even blind children begin to smile without seeing others smile.  It’s ingrained in the very code that makes us human.

Although smiling comes in many forms, most are actually fake.  In fact, there is only one smile that is genuine. When the corners of the mouth go up, the eyes narrow slightly creating crow’s feet, and the upper half of the cheeks rise, you are experiencing the Duchenne Smile, named by Paul Ekman, an emeritus professor of psychology at the University of California at San Francisco after Guillaume-Benjamin Duchenne, the French physiologist who first studied the muscle that surrounds the eye in 1862.

The Duchenne smile is the one true smile that is a direct result of feeling happy.  But, how do we FEEL happy?  When we receive or give a gift, or see our children smile and laugh, physiological changes take place.  Our hearts beat faster and the flow of blood increases. Skin temperature rises, which makes the skin slightly damper and our fingers tremble.  The experience of a compliment or gift is a trigger.  The trigger sets off changes in the body, which signal the brain to feel happy.

Although this may sound odd at first, try forcing yourself to feeling happy when your muscles are tense, your face is frowned and your brow furrowed.  The involuntary emotions cause our body reaction to signal our brain, which means that happiness arises as much from our body as it does from our thoughts.

The emotions associated with feeling happy are involuntarily controlled by our automatic nervous system.  This is why we cannot simply decide to be happy by influencing involuntary body function.  It is impossible for us to command our blood to flow faster.  We do, however, have the ability to bypass the automatic nervous system.  We have the ability to smile, even without a trigger.

Ekman’s work corroborated that if feelings can come from the body, then happiness can come from a genuine Duchenne smile.  Ekman trained his subjects to control the movement of the muscles that surround the eye to achieve the Duchenne smile.  The result was a signal of happiness without a trigger sent to the brain thereby proving that happiness doesn’t flow in just one direction, and smiling alone can make us happy.

I suggest that we take the work of Ekman to the next level.  If the bodily movement of smiling can make our brains experience feelings of happiness, then why not use the smile as a trigger for others.  What you put out into the world comes back to you.  The next time you are introduced to someone, just give your first name and watch what happens.  More likely than not, they will return the introduction with their first name.  Offer your first and last name, and you will receive the same.  Try it with a smile.  I’m sure you will find a smile in return.  This effect can influence your happiness and the feelings of everyone you come into contact with throughout your day.  By smiling more and passing it along, you truly put the Duchenne smile effect into action.

Tommy Galan is a guest blogger for PickTheBrain. He is the author of HappyUniverse.com, a blog dedicated to designing happy lives through exciting goals and healthy lifestyle.  A few of his many adventures include performing on Broadway, earning a Juris Doctorate, finishing marathons, and traveling the world.  He lives in New York City with his wife and son.

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