Whose permission do you need? Really, it’s not a trick question. Who needs to give you the nod of approval before you can start a business, start dating after a bitter divorce, or write the book you’ve been talking about for the past nine years? Whose approval are you desperately seeking? Your spouse, a boss, friend, or expert in your field? Unless you’re six years old, you don’t need anyone’s permission to create a better, fuller, richer life for yourself. Of course, it doesn’t always feel that way. Someone has to tell you you’re good enough and smart enough, right?

Well, no actually. We cling to the (irrational) belief that we require approval before we can achieve because it’s safe. It gives you a fabulous excuse. You can tell others, and more importantly, yourself, that it’s out of your hands. It can help you sleep because it gives you the illusion that you’re not in control. And if you’re not in control, it’s not your fault. But if you want to do more than sleep well and want to start living well, you need to make a decision. Are you going to put your success and happiness in your hands or someone else’s?

This message hit home for me last week. I presented to a roomful of actors and artists at a Screen Actors Guild event. Talk about an industry built on the need for approval. If you’re an actor, you need a casting director to tell you you’re good enough. If you’re a musician, you need a record label to give you their seal of approval. And if you’re a writer, you need an agent or publisher to recognize your genius. This is true for all actors, musicians, and writers . . . except those that have decided they don’t need to wait for anyone to tell them their art is worthy. These are the artists that don’t wait, they create. The ones such as Zak Ambrose, Craig Benzine, Christina Perri, Oren Peli, or “Born this Way” Maria.

Not an artist? Not a problem. It doesn’t matter what you do for a living. The freedom that comes from discovering you don’t need anyone’s permission is yours for the taking. But how can you break free from this destructive and limiting belief?

Get conscious. It’s time to name names. List a goal or aspiration and write down next to it all of the people for whom you are secretly waiting approval. If you’re having trouble, ask yourself this: Who needs to tell me that I am old enough, young enough, experienced enough, smart enough, attractive enough, thin enough, funny enough, or creative enough? Maybe you’ve been waiting to get a boyfriend before you travel across Europe. Why can’t you go alone? Whose permission are you seeking? What about dropping your current job and switching to a career that inspires you?

There are two truths. The first is that nobody will ever give you permission. The second is that you don’t need anyone’s permission. Success doesn’t come to those who wait for it. Success doesn’t even come to those who ask for it. Success comes to those who fight off the naysayers and push forward without a permission slip.

It can be incredibly scary (and life changing) once you realize it’s up to you. Regardless of the story you sell yourself, it always has been up to you, and it always will be. What would happen if you woke up tomorrow and decided you didn’t need anyone to give you permission? What’s the first thing you would start? Really, it’s not a trick question.

Are you ready to create more money, time, energy, and passion in your life? Learn how to live your best life now with these free resources:

Get the “Achieving Peak Performance” ebook and video now! (free for a limited time)

You can also join a community of passionate people at Richer Life who want to achieve more in life and at work. With your free membership, you can participate in conversations I have with experts, celebrities, authors, and thought leaders that are laser-focused on practical ways to drive more money, motivation, and meaning into your life. Take the first step toward creating a better life by joining Richer Life for free now!

It turns out Garth Brooks was right. When you have friends in low places, you’ll have plenty of company to help you drown your blues away. But did you ever consider that your friends are contributing to your problems? Research shows that who you are is a function of who you know. Your friends help shape your outlook, values, emotions and behaviors. Their influence acts like an invisible hand that can either pull you down and thwart your efforts to reach your goals or give you a physical and psychological boost to help you create the life you want. Psychologists call this invisible hand “emotional contagion” or “social contagion,” and it can work for or against you. Learn how to avoid its death grip and start letting social contagion help you create a richer life.

News flash! Your income, weight, happiness and professional success are the average of your best five friends. When you hang out with rich, fit, happy and successful friends, guess what happens? They rub off on you. More specifically, social contagion says their emotions and behavioral attitudes rub off on you. If you think about this, it makes sense.

Parents have long known to be careful of who Johnny befriends, knowing that the wrong crowd could sway little Johnny to do things he might not be inclined to do on his own. Of course, once we grow up, we’re sophisticated and mature enough to not let outside forces shape us, right? Woops.

Emotions and attitudes are infectious. Have you ever brainstormed with somebody really creative and found yourself becoming more creative? That’s why having a workout partner is so successful. You pull each other up and shape each other’s attitudes and behaviors. You instinctually want to order the chili-cheese fries but at the last minute decide to order what your more fit and healthy friend orders instead. However, social contagion also has a dark side. Ever been around a bunch of Debbie Downers? What happens to your creativity, outlook and ideas. They turn to rubbish.

So what’s the takeaway? How can you exploit social contagion to help you create a richer life? You need to be more conscious about who is in your life. You wouldn’t let a stranger in your house to rob you, so why would you let a colleague or “friend” rob you of your best life, something much more valuable than your big screen TV and Bee Gee’s record collection? It’s time you give the finger to those people in your life that are dragging you down — kindly, but firmly, pointing them toward the door.

Sound too harsh? Social contagion says emotions, attitudes and behaviors are contagious and can spread from one person to another like a virus that causes the flu. Do you go out of your way to be around people who can make you sick? No, of course not. Then why risk being infected by those in your life that spew their negative attitudes and behaviors onto you?

But how do you know who’s a friend and who’s a foe? There are only two types of people in this world, and the sooner you discover this, the happier, more fulfilled and successful you’ll become — even if it means dumping your best friend, neighbor, or, yes, even your mother.

The “friend” types are what I call Energizers. These are people that lift you up, give you energy, make you want to be a better person, inspire you, make you feel good about yourself and your life, encourage you to take risks, and motivate you to achieve your goals and dreams.

The “foe” types are what I call Leeches. These are people who suck the energy from you, who make you feel bad about yourself and your life, complain, are negative, gossip, talk you into doing nothing, and bring you down.

The next step isn’t rocket science. You need to rid your life of Leeches and replace them with Energizers. Yes, it’s really that simple. It might not be easy, but it’s simple. If you’re struggling with eliminating the Leeches in your life, then give them a second chance. Tell them that you’re on a mission to reach your goals and that you need positivity, constructive feedback and support. If they’re not willing or able to do this for you, cut them loose. They’ll be okay. They’ll have plenty of friends to drown their blues away.

Are you ready to create more money, time, energy, and passion in your life? Learn how to live your best life now with these free resources:

Get the “Achieving Peak Performance” ebook and video now! (free for a limited time)

You can also join a community of passionate people at Richer Life who want to achieve more in life and at work. With your free membership, you can participate in conversations I have with experts, celebrities, authors, and thought leaders that are laser-focused on practical ways to drive more money, motivation, and meaning into your life. Take the first step toward creating a better life by joining Richer Life for free now!

Does your morning routine feel more like a “mourning” routine? The first 30 minutes of your day has a powerful grip over the rest of your day — your morning behaviors and attitudes can influence how you feel and what you do for the rest of the day. Instead of smashing the alarm clock, kicking the cat, and cursing your life every morning, you can do five simple things that will start your day off on a better note and help you live your best life.

1. Kill the kryptonite. You are no longer allowed to hit the snooze button. This is coming from a guy who had a bad habit of abusing the snooze button. I’d set my alarm an hour early (yes, an hour early!) just so I could hit the snooze button six times. I found that this little and seemingly innocuous button made me weaker and weaker every day. Every time I hit it, I was unconsciously reinforcing the belief that I was weak and that I couldn’t get out of bed when I was supposed to. Break this habit and replace it with a much better one. Set your alarm for when you want to get up, and when it goes off, make yourself stronger by doing the shocking thing — by getting up. Do this every day and you will grow in confidence.
2. First five seconds. When it’s dark and cold out, you need a burst of inspiration to get your juices flowing. The first thing you should do is feed your mind. Look at your DreamBoard, read an inspirational quote or Bible passage, go over your goals, etc. Do this first — before you reach for your Blackberry, remote, or toothbrush.
3. Get the blood flowing. While your mind has been active all night, your body has not. The best way to get the mind engaged and primed is to get the body moving. Immediately after you feed your mind, do a few minutes of light stretching or yoga to get the blood flowing to your muscles and to get your joints loosened. You don’t need to be Richard Simmons on crack — slow and steady is good.
4. PowerJournal. For 15 or 20 minutes every day, I want you to write, brainstorm, and just think. One of the best ways to increase your happiness and sense of well-being is to express gratitude. A powerful and easy way to do this is by writing about those things for which you are grateful. You could also spend a few minutes daydreaming about your future. Instead of immediately getting sucked into the day’s pressures, responsibilities, and problems, a few minutes of quiet time focused on your perfect future can provide you with a sense of calm and peace that can last the whole day.
5. Breakfast. I know. You’ve heard it before. But I’ll risk repeating it because studies show about 40% of us still skip breakfast. The benefits of eating a nutritious breakfast are well known. Avoid bacon, sausage, pastries, and processed cereals and go for something simple like a bowl of whole grain cereal with non-fat milk and add a banana and raisins.If you don’t have time for breakfast or want a little something extra, you can chug down a power shake. My shake takes about three minutes to make and about two minutes to drink. The cool thing is that you can load it up with just about everything and anything.

If you did all of these things, it would add maybe 20 or 30 minutes to your morning schedule. I know a half hour in the morning is huge, but look at this time as an investment in your day and in you. Doing these things will make you healthier, give you a more positive attitude, provide a much greater feeling of control, and grant you a sense of peace and calmness. Or at the least, you’ll have a better relationship with your cat.

Are you ready to create more money, time, energy, and passion in your life? Learn how to live your best life now with these free resources:

Get the “Achieving Peak Performance” ebook and video now! (free for a limited time)

You can also join a community of passionate people at Richer Life who want to achieve more in life and at work. With your free membership, you can participate in conversations I have with experts, celebrities, authors, and thought leaders that are laser-focused on practical ways to drive more money, motivation, and meaning into your life. Take the first step toward creating a better life by joining Richer Life for free now!

What to do when you hate your job? You definitely can’t talk about it. Your spouse may commiserate with you but will ultimately tell you that you have to keep earning a living. Your friends will tell you to suck it up and to be happy you even have a job. And, of course, they are right. You’ve got to pay the bills and there are millions who are unemployed that would kill to have a job they hated. So what should you do? If you’re feeling particularly philosophical (or maybe nostalgic for early 80s pop music), you may ask yourself, “Well, how did I get here?”

Just because you have to earn a living and just because there are people who are unemployed doesn’t mean you have to (a) love your job or (b) be condemned to a life where you hate driving to work every morning. Here are three options to help you create a richer life by getting out of a job you hate:

• New skills. If you’re on a dead-end career track and don’t see things getting any better for you, use the other 8 hours to get some new skills. But not just any skills. French for beginners and watercolor painting don’t count. I’m talking about very specific and marketable skills you know companies are seeking. Something you can learn and immediately use to get several better paying job offers. Maybe it’s data entry, customer service skills, medical billing, or paralegal training. If you’re short on money and/or time, don’t bother with a degree — these are too general, and you won’t learn a specific skill you can use on Monday morning. Instead, get a certificate or designation. These are much more specialized and are what some companies want to see on a resume.
• Bouncing. If you don’t have any skills and are stuck in a real dead-end job (e.g., one where moving up to “fry guy” is a promotion), you’ve got to get creative. Stay employed at Dead End, Inc., but use the other 8 hours to learn a specific and marketable skill (see above). This one skill won’t get you your dream job, but it should pay better than your current job and give you a new experience. Once you’ve got this new job, use the other 8 hours to learn a new skill. This new skill might help you move up the corporate ladder where you are employed or (more likely) it might be in a completely different industry. Again, this new skill needs to be in demand and the job you get should pay better than the job you have. Guess what? You keep doing this — learning new skills and getting better paying jobs — until you are making good money doing something you love.
• New career. Whether you’ve bounced your way up or you are just not satisfied with your current career choice, you can use the other 8 hours to get a new career. First you’ve got to figure out what you want to do. Focus on your strengths and identify a career that you’d not only be good at doing, but one that you’d be happy doing. Learn what it takes to get that job. Do an informational interview. What education is required? What skills are needed? Get a book from the library and research the career. Nearly every industry has a trade magazine. Get old copies. Start reading what they read. Attend a trade-show or conference. Immerse yourself in the career you want. You can ask yourself “How did I get here?”, but a more proactive and solution-focused approach is to ask “How did they get here?” Learn and model what others have done and are doing. This takes time, but that’s what the other 8 hours are for.

If you’re in a job that you hate, don’t feel guilty about wanting something better. Use your unhappiness as a motivator to make some changes. You’ll spend more time at your job than you will with your family and friends. You might as well make it as rewarding as you can. If you don’t, at the end of it all you may ask yourself, “My God! What have I done?”

Are you ready to create more money, time, energy, and passion in your life? Learn how to live your best life now with these free resources:

Get the “Achieving Peak Performance” ebook and video now! (free for a limited time)

You can also join a community of passionate people at Richer Life who want to achieve more in life and at work. With your free membership, you can participate in conversations I have with experts, celebrities, authors, and thought leaders that are laser-focused on practical ways to drive more money, motivation, and meaning into your life. Take the first step toward creating a better life by joining Richer Life for free now!

Photo credit: Lima

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Nobody cares about you. Furthermore, nobody thinks about you, watches you, keeps track of what you’re wearing, or notices the words you mispronounce. And yes, this is wonderful news! Why? Nearly all of us, nearly all the time, are deathly afraid we’ll say the wrong thing, do the wrong thing, or just generally look like a complete idiot. Think you’re different?

When you walk into a networking event, what are you thinking? When you are introduced to someone new, are you trying to remember their name or are you instead thinking of something witty or clever to say to make a good impression? Do you have any fear when you are in a job interview? Are you petrified to give a public speech? Do you resist speaking up in a meeting even if you think you might have something important to share?

I think to some degree, all of us have this fear of constantly being watched, criticized, and judged. It might motivate a few to do their best work, but for most, this haunting belief that we always have to be “on” can be paralyzing. Why take a chance — even a seemingly small chance — if you think everyone is watching and ready to judge you? You don’t speak up in the meeting. You socialize with colleagues at a networking event instead of connecting with someone new. You resist sharing a good story that highlights your skills as the perfect job candidate. In your effort to look your best, you focus too much on yourself and how others will perceive you instead of your work and what’s most important. Nobody performs well under constant scrutiny — real or imagined.

In fact, psychologists use the term “imaginary audience” to describe this heightened state of vigilance that is especially strong during adolescence. An imaginary audience is this belief that we have a group or followers that are watching, dissecting, and judging our every move. But the keyword here is “imagined.”

You are not the center of the universe. Nobody really cares about your every move. Nobody is watching, and if they happen to be, they are far less concerned with what you are doing and much more focused on what YOU are thinking about them. That’s the irony of this. You think you are so important that everyone cares what you do, when in fact, everyone is so preoccupied with themselves that they don’t even notice or care what you are doing.

And while this realization that you are not the center of everyone’s universe may depress you initially, I hope you’ll find that it is actually a huge blessing in disguise. Why? It’s lets you take chances without fear of judgment. You can raise your hand, speak your mind, share your ideas, and take bold risks without (significant) consequences. And here’s the interesting part . . . the second you realize there is no imaginary audience critiquing your every move and the less you care what others think, the more freedom you’ll have to do your best work.

Of course, once you start doing your best work, that imaginary audience might not be in your head — people might then actually start to notice you . . .

Are you ready to create more money, time, energy, and passion in your life? Learn how to live your best life now with these free resources:

Get the “Achieving Peak Performance” ebook and video now! (free for a limited time)

You can also join a community of passionate people at Richer Life who want to achieve more in life and at work. With your free membership, you can participate in conversations I have with experts, celebrities, authors, and thought leaders that are laser-focused on practical ways to drive more money, motivation, and meaning into your life. Take the first step toward creating a better life by joining Richer Life for free now!

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How much better would your life be if you were unbreakable? If you knew that no matter what happened that you would survive and persevere — and that maybe you’d even come out a little better? We cannot escape pain, difficulty, failure, tragedy, and heartache. Sooner or later it will find us despite our best efforts to protect ourselves. Instead of trying to bob and weave  what life throws at us, I’d rather have the comfort of knowing that I can take life’s best shot and be able to get back up and move forward. To me, that’s empowerment. Having that kind of personal fortitude and resilience is a game changer. Instead of being dogged by fear and uncertainty, you will have inner peace and confidence that you will survive.

The American Psychological Association (APA) focused their research on resilience after the tragic events of 9/11. Resilience, according to the APA, is the ability to adapt well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats, and from sources of stress such as work pressures, health, family or relationship problems. They found that a resilient person is not only able to handle the crisis of the moment more effectively, but that they are also able to recover and get back on their feet more quickly.

According to the APA, you can create more personal resilience with these ten tips:

1. Make connections. Personal resilience doesn’t mean it’s all up to you. Having good relationships with close family members, friends, or others is critical to resilience and well-being. When tragedy strikes, the worst thing you can do is avoid friends and loved ones. Start cultivating your relationships today, so when you need support, you have a whole network of people to help.

2. Avoid seeing crises as insurmountable problems. Don’t fall into the trap of all-or-nothing thinking, which says that everything is either perfect or terrible. There are always shades of gray. Focus less on the past and more on the future you want. Also, look for exceptions. In Solution Focused Therapy, exceptions are those times when the problem is gone or at least not as bad. Are there times in the current crisis you’re your problems don’t feel so insurmountable?

3. Accept that change is a part of living. Know that whatever you’re going through others have experienced before. You are not alone — change, in whatever form, is a natural part of life.

4. Move toward your goals. When the present is difficult, focus on a better future. What do you want your life to be? What goals do you have that you can start moving toward?

5. Take decisive actions. Avoid checking out by taking whatever control you have over your situation and doing something (however small) about it.

6. Look for opportunities for self-discovery. One of my favorite sayings is “Sometimes you win and sometimes you learn.” Tragedy and pain can be an opportunity to re-evaluate your life — where you’ve been and where you want to go. Ask yourself the tough questions and look for ways to grow.

7. Nurture a positive view of yourself. Be careful how you talk to yourself. Don’t accept blame when it isn’t warranted. Focus on your strengths and abilities to get you through.

8. Keep things in perspective. When something bad happens, it can color all aspects of our life. Your job is to put it into perspective. Don’t let one bad event taint your view of the other areas in your life.

9. Maintain a hopeful outlook. While easier said than done, just watch how you explain or think about your situation. As ancient Greek philosopher said, “People are not disturbed by things, but by the view they take of them.” When possible, take the more positive and optimistic view.

10. Take care of yourself. Do what you can to sleep well and eat well. Try to get some exercise and do things you enjoy. If you feel like nothing is enjoyable, do things that make you feel less horrible. In short, be nice to yourself.

Being unbreakable doesn’t mean that you can’t cry or need to act tough or mask your feelings by putting on a happy face. Being unbreakable means you give yourself the freedom to break, knowing you have the tools to put yourself back together again.

Are you ready to create more money, time, energy, and passion in your life? Learn how to live your best life now with these free resources:

Get the “Achieving Peak Performance” ebook and video now! (free for a limited time)

You can also join a community of passionate people at Richer Life who want to achieve more in life and at work. With your free membership, you can participate in conversations I have with experts, celebrities, authors, and thought leaders that are laser-focused on practical ways to drive more money, motivation, and meaning into your life. Take the first step toward creating a better life by joining Richer Life for free now!

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Recently I wrote about how you can start closing the gap between the life you are living and your best life . . . but I received some reader complaints. Desire to live their Miracle Question life? Check. Ideas and solutions to start closing the gap? Check. Energy to get their plan (and butt) into action? Not so much. And this is a valuable lesson. Inspiration and desire are only part of what is needed to close the gap, which is why desire + diet is the formula for success. Without physical and mental energy, it’s impossible to put the plan into action. This is why feeling good, having energy, and being healthy are so critical to living your best life.

So, how healthy are you? Jumping on the scale can give you some indication. Analyzing your body fat percentage is another option. Maybe calculating your body mass index (BMI). Getting your blood work done and looking at cholesterol levels. You could also check your blood pressure. These are all decent methods to try to answer the question, “How healthy am I?” And this is a question I’ve been asking myself for some time — often while chugging down a thick green nutrition shake. Is this stuff really working? If there was an inverse relationship between taste and nutritional value, I should be pretty damn healthy, but who knows? I sure didn’t.

But all of that changed a few days ago . . .

Let me take you back a few years first. In 2008 I read the very funny and informative book, Skinny Bitch, and it changed my life. After finishing the last page of the book, I became a vegetarian. No hamburgers. No turkey. No chicken. No pork. And most traumatically, no more Double-Doubles from In N’ Out Burger. Then after reading the China Study and earlier this year reading Kathy Freston’s Veganist, I made the leap to a vegan diet. No pizza. No ice cream. No yogurt. No whey.

So what do I eat? I drink several green protein shakes a day, wheat grass, Resveratrol, Acai berry juice, and eat baby carrots like they are a bag of Lay’s potato chips, raw protein bars, salads, quinoa, and did I mention thick green shakes?

Here’s what I’ve discovered . . . I’ve NEVER felt better in my life. I have tons of physical and mental energy. I’ve lost a significant percentage of body fat, and now I never have digestion problems (goodbye Tums). In short, I feel fantastic, and while that doesn’t exactly answer the question “How healthy am I?” — now I know that I am!

While visiting a local Rancho Santa Margarita vegan shop, I had my carotenoid antioxidant levels measured with a nifty skin scanner that claims to “prove the effectiveness of your supplements in improving your overall antioxidant health.” I have no idea what this means, but Dr. Oz featured the scanner on his show so it must be good. It basically measures the amount of cancer-fighting antioxidants in your body.

The painless scan takes 90 seconds, so during this time the women told me that there are five levels: red (worst), orange, yellow, green, and blue (best). She said most people score in the orange range and that less than 1% of the American population is in the blue category. I spent about 80 of those 90 seconds professing — no, demanding — that I would score in the blue category. If I didn’t my whole nutritional world would have come crashing down. Well, 90 seconds later, I got my blue score. Needless to say, she was surprised. In fact, she had tested so many people and so few had scored blue, she gave me a blue shirt and took my picture for their wall of fame.

So, I left with a shirt, but more importantly, I left with more self-respect and redemption. This stuff really does work.

If you want more physical and mental energy so you can get the most out of life, first focus on what you put in your body. Trust me . . . being blue never felt so good.

Are you ready to create more money, time, energy, and passion in your life? Learn how to live your best life now with these free resources:

Get the “Achieving Peak Performance” ebook and video now! (free for a limited time)

You can also join a community of passionate people at Richer Life who want to achieve more in life and at work. With your free membership, you can participate in conversations I have with experts, celebrities, authors, and thought leaders that are laser-focused on practical ways to drive more money, motivation, and meaning into your life. Take the first step toward creating a better life by joining Richer Life for free now!

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Do you ever feel like curling up in a ball and trying to forget the problems around you? With everything going on in the world today — sky high unemployment, the housing market at its lowest point, prolonged wars in the Middle East, famine and genocide in Africa, the stock market in free-fall, and our economy sputtering almost to a stop — you sure wouldn’t be alone in wanting to do this. But there may be another option…

What typically happens when you experience a crisis in one part of your life such as a major health problem, getting laid off, or having trouble paying your bills? Everything else in your life grinds to a halt. You stay at work a little longer. You exercise a little less. You dismiss your healthful diet for something faster. You neglect to write in your gratitude journal. You start to focus more on what has happened and less on the future. Basically, you stop doing all of the things you know you should do to feel and live better.

This is one of those times when it would be easy — even understandable — to forget about your dreams, about doing the small things that lead to a better life, and instead become frozen in the negativity of the moment. But there’s an important lesson here. Yes, do what you need to do to survive, but don’t neglect doing all of the positive things you know are right and that will benefit you.

Here are six things that you can — no, scratch that — must do today (and every day!) that may not jump-start the economy, but can certainly jump-start your well-being during these difficult times:

1. Replace TV/radio with something (anything!) else. The media is in the business of selling fear. And right now, business is very good. Nothing good comes from experiencing a panic attack after watching the news or listening to talk radio. Being informed is good. Being tormented is not. Instead, create an upbeat playlist, listen to books on tape, write a book, or play Angry Birds if you must.

2. Focus on what is positive. Try to balance the onslaught of negativity with some positivity. Take just five minutes in the morning and jot down a few things you are grateful for in your life. It doesn’t matter if these are big or small, as long as they are meaningful to you.

3. Confront your fears. What’s worse than knowing? Not knowing. If you have a general sense of fear or nervousness, dig deeper and look at what is driving your fear. What’s the worst thing that could happen? Of course it’s scary to look, but identifying the worst case situation often leads to some relief once you realize you can survive it.

4. Spend more time with family/friends. When things get bad, a natural reaction for some (myself included) is to isolate from others. This is actually a horrible strategy. A much better alternative is to get around others. Tap into your social network. Get out there and start talking and sharing. Instead of meeting for drinks, go outside and enjoy the summer by taking a walk, working out together, or having a BBQ.

5. Take care of your health. Stress can wreak havoc on your body, so make sure you do what you can to take care of yourself. This means watching what you eat, getting enough sleep each night, and exercising each day. You’ve heard this 1,000 times, but are you doing it?

6. Have some fun! Add as much fun and frivolity in your day as you can – schedule it if you have to. The problems you may be facing are real and serious, but that doesn’t mean that you have to be all the time. If worrying and agonizing about a problem made it go away any faster, I think Eli Lilly and many of the drug manufacturers would go out of business. It’s okay to laugh and it’s okay to have fun even (especially!) when things are tough.

It’s our nature to survive — to do whatever it takes to make it through one more day. And for most Americans right now, surviving has become their full-time job. It is times like this when passivity is our enemy. Reading about what you should do and actually doing it are two very different things. You’ve done the reading part; now it’s time for the doing part. Choose to do any one of these things right now. It’s a much better option than curling up into a ball…

Are you ready to create more money, time, energy, and passion in your life? Learn how to live your best life now with these free resources:

Get the “Achieving Peak Performance” ebook and video now! (free for a limited time)

You can also join a community of passionate people at Richer Life who want to achieve more in life and at work. With your free membership, you can participate in conversations I have with experts, celebrities, authors, and thought leaders that are laser-focused on practical ways to drive more money, motivation, and meaning into your life. Take the first step toward creating a better life by joining Richer Life for free now!

Photo credit: Cocoip

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Shakespeare was wrong. All the world is not a stage, you just think it is. And it is this thought — the belief that you need to perform for an always-watching and always-critiquing audience — that creates massive anxiety. If you’d like to reclaim some of the time and energy you spend worrying about what others think, then read on and be inspired to be, create, and share your talents without fear of embarrassment.

There are three sure-fire ways to eliminate criticism in your life: be dreadfully normal, do not take any risks whatsoever, and do your best to sacrifice what is special and unique about yourself in order to blend in as much as possible. Of course, this is clearly not the recipe for living your best life. You cannot avoid criticism, but you can learn to live with it and not allow it have such a grip on your life — in other words, you can get to the point where you care so much about yourself or your idea that that you’re not sidelined by a critical comment, negative review, or raised eyebrow.

Stop letting fear and anxiety prevent you from being the person you are and from sharing your creativity with these nine tips:

1. Find a role model. Last week, the first installment of the film version of Ayn Rand’s classic book, “Atlas Shrugged”, was released in theaters. But if you really want a boost of inspiration from one of the greatest creative rogues in literary history, read her other book, The Fountainhead. Howard Roark will have you cheering.
2. Focus where it counts. Think of your available attention as a glass with a limited capacity. You choose what goes in the glass, but the glass restricts how much you can put in it. You have a limited amount of mental energy with which to pay attention. Great public speakers have a trick to reduce nervousness. The more they focus on their message, on how much impact they want to make and on their audience’s needs, the less mental energy they have to devote to their butterflies, to screwing up, or to how much the presentation could make or break their career.  So whether you are interviewing for a job, pitching a new client, writing a book, submitting a blog post, dancing, or asking for a raise, the more you can focus on the task at hand, the less energy you’ll waste being afraid or worrying.
3. Be like Bruce Lee. Anxiety is the product of what is versus what could be. The best way to reduce anxiety is to clear your head of what could be. Bruce Lee was a master at this. Instead of focusing on the outcome of a fight, he emptied his mind and became formless and shapeless in order to adapt in the moment to what was rather than what might be. Focus in the moment on doing, not winning.
4. Be careful who you ask. Stop asking people what they think of you and your ideas — especially people who are critical, unsuccessful, or unhappy. Their comments will be less about your idea and more of a reflection of their negative and unhealthy state.
5. De-sensitize yourself. What is the absolute worst case scenario? A bad review? Being booed off stage? Getting fired? Imagine the absolute worst case scenario, and then ask yourself, “Could I survive that?”
6. Stop reading negative comments/reviews. Has a waiter ever placed a plate in front of you and warned you that it was really hot, but seconds later you felt compelled to touch it anyway? Why do we do this to ourselves? I’ve spoken to bestselling authors who have garnered hundreds of “5 Star” reviews on Amazon, but they become obsessed with reading and re-reading a handful of negative comments. If it hurts, don’t do it!
7. Ask the right questions. First, make sure you are asking the right person. Then, instead of asking, “What did you think?” a much better (and more positive) question is “How can I make this better?”
8. Pray for criticism. The second-to-worst thing is getting negative feedback, but the worst thing is being ignored. Jump at the chance to impact the lives of a few rather than being ignored by all. Remember that.
9. Don’t need to please everyone. All it takes is 51% of the people to like you (and sometimes not even that) to become president of the United States. This means that the most powerful person in the world has a job where half of the country wants to fire him. No matter who you are or what you do, there will always be people who won’t agree. Accept it or hide. Those are your only two options.

Don’t try to psych yourself up to the point where you simply don’t care enough to let criticism affect you. This strategy is wrong and dangerous. A much better approach is to care deeply about who you are and what you are creating. Follow your passion and your inspiration. Go where you are called and create what is inside you. Care so much for others that you don’t care what they think. The greatest achievements the world has ever seen were started by individuals who marched to the beat of a different drummer. As you set out to change the world, just make sure your drum is loud enough drown out all the critics.

Are you ready to create more money, time, energy, and passion in your life? Learn how to live your best life now with these free resources:

Get the “Achieving Peak Performance” ebook and video now! (free for a limited time)

You can also join a community of passionate people at Richer Life who want to achieve more in life and at work. With your free membership, you can participate in conversations I have with experts, celebrities, authors, and thought leaders that are laser-focused on practical ways to drive more money, motivation, and meaning into your life. Take the first step toward creating a better life by joining Richer Life for free now!

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Last week I asked the Miracle Question from Solution-Focused Therapy. The Miracle Question is simply, “If while you slept a miracle occurred tonight that solved all of your problems, how would you know when you woke up in the morning that a miracle occurred? What would be different?” The first step, of course, is answering the question, but if you just stopped there you might be left feeling a bit frustrated. There are generally two reactions to the Miracle Question. Some people are already living their “miracle life,” and by answering the question, they simply reinforce how happy and content they are. Good for them, but what about everyone else?

What if your current reality is completely different from your miracle life? What if by answering the Miracle Question you discover that the life you are living is not at all the life you want? I call this divide between what is and what is wanted the gap. The gap can be painful. It can cause frustration and paralysis . . . or it can spur excitement, fortitude, and action.

So you have a choice to make. Continue living as you have been and hope a miracle occurs that fixes all of your problems and gives you the life you want, or decide that you will be your own miracle? The Miracle Question is just the first step. It’s only designed to get you thinking about what you want to be different. The next step is a crucial one. It’s discovering what you need to do to start living those differences.

Let’s look at an example. Let’s say your current reality is that you live alone, work at a job you don’t like, and feel disconnected from your friends and family. But upon waking after a miracle has occurred, you are lying next to the love of your life, driving into a job that you love, and finishing preparations for a dinner party you are hosting at your house that evening.

In this example, the gap between what currently is and what is desired is wide, but is it impossible to bridge? I don’t think so. Coert Visser, a psychologist an expert in Solution-Focused Therapy, recommends asking what parts of the miracle you can already start doing. Could you host a dinner party for your friends and family? What about just calling a friend and taking them out to lunch? Could you start night classes in the other 8 hours to move closer to your dream job? Doing any of these things helps you start — even in a small way — living your miracle.

Maybe that example was too simple. Let’s take this to the extreme. In the aftermath of losing a loved one, the survivor’s miracle is usually that they wake up and their loved one is alive again. This would require a miracle indeed, but if you dig deeper, there might be some small way to start living this miracle. What is missing now that the loved one is gone? Maybe companionship, security, someone to talk to, a shoulder to cry on, a comfortable routine, or a travel partner? What small steps could this person take to start realizing this miracle? How about to spend more time with friends, join a Meetup group, start a book club, participate in a survivor’s group, etc. No change is too small.

One of the founding beliefs in Solution-Focused Therapy is that small changes can lead to big results. It’s the butterfly effect for personal development. A small and seemingly insignificant change can create profound consequences that sometimes defy logical explanation. Jeffrey Guterman, Ph.D., and author of Solution-Focused Counseling writes, “A small change can result in a snowball effect that, in turn, leads to bigger changes and the resolution of bigger problems.” No change is too small.

What is the smallest step you can take today to start living your miracle?

Are you ready to create more money, time, energy, and passion in your life? Learn how to live your best life now with these free resources:

Get the “Achieving Peak Performance” ebook and video now! (free for a limited time)

You can also join a community of passionate people at Richer Life who want to achieve more in life and at work. With your free membership, you can participate in conversations I have with experts, celebrities, authors, and thought leaders that are laser-focused on practical ways to drive more money, motivation, and meaning into your life. Take the first step toward creating a better life by joining Richer Life for free now!