5 Strategies for a Happy Marriage: Secrets every bride and groom should know

‘The Marriage of Figaro’ courtesy of TheIntelligencer

Despairingly, he looked at her, shook his head, and asked, “Whatever happened to us? We don’t laugh any more; we used to always be laughing!”

With contemptuous expression and voice, she retorted, “Yes, but not at the same time.”

This one line from a classic moment of the British sitcom Fawlty Towers illuminated Basil and Sybil Fawlty’s entire relationship.

Is a happy, long-lasting marriage really still possible? Well, I suppose we’ll find out in fifty years. Of course, if you’re being abused and bullied, your spouse has defaulted on ‘the deal’ (remember ‘to love and to cherish’?); no one should stay in an abusive marriage. But our ‘throw away society’ sometimes causes perfectly good relationships to be too quickly discarded because they don’t seem ideal. Read the Rest of This Article »

5 Weight Loss Motivation Tips That Work

Stay Focused on Getting Slimmer and Staying that Way

“I’m going to be a fat blob on my wedding day!” The voice on the other end of the phone was desperate. “Can you help me?”

So Karen came to see me. “It’s always the same,” she told me. “I’m motivated for a few days and lose weight, then something happens. I gain everything – and more – back again! My wedding’s in three months! That should be motivation enough, but lately my weight’s been even more all over the place!”

Karen was right. Weight loss motivation is easy…at first. Rapid progress, compliments, wearing outfits you really want to, feeling more attractive, having more energy. All this positive feedback is motivating, captivating. Yet this weight loss ‘honeymoon period’ inevitably wanes. And then it can get tough. Read the Rest of This Article »

5 Best Practices To Overcome Social Anxiety

Does Social Anxiety Keep You from Fully Enjoying Life?

Sharon would later cheerfully admit that she had been dreading meeting me; but for now, it was still a sickening nightmare.

Social anxiety is more than just shyness. Just thinking about meeting or mingling with others can cause a pounding heart, shaky voice, rapid breathing, sweating, blushing, an upset stomach… It’s no wonder it sometimes feels easier to avoid other people completely.

For Sharon, even seeing people she’d met many times before – such as family, friends, and colleagues – felt like an ordeal imagined by the Spanish Inquisition. Actually, it was curious:

“I’m okay in a work context or when things are a bit more formal. I know what to talk about. But as soon as it’s kind of unorganized – you know, just mixing with other people – I go to pieces. It’s like I need a well-defined focus or I panic!”

Social anxiety spoils life by getting in the way of what should be fun opportunities to connect with others. Crippling self-consciousness, nervousness, not knowing what to say: all add to the unpleasant mix. Read the Rest of This Article »

6 Ways to be a More Confident Date

Dating confidence tips to get you and your date relaxed and having an unforgettable time…

Nervously early for his date, Dave had plenty of time to notice his sweating palms.

“Oh great! What if she wants to shake hands?” He briefly imagined his date’s hand slipping from his like an eel from a greased plate and started feeling a little sick as he frantically dabbed his palms with a napkin. A waiter watched with a seen-it-all blend of sympathy and disdain.

“Just be yourself!” his flatmate – a regular man of the world with more dating confidence than a roomful of James Bonds – had advised. “Blimey, it’s only a date!”

“What does ‘just be yourself’ even mean?” Dave retorted in a panicked tone, trying to cover his shaving rash with an extra-wide 1970s sports-broadcaster-style tie.

He had met Kate at a party during which he’d not been entirely lucid (thanks to some imported German beer). But, he reflected, he must have been entertaining enough; he’s secured this date, after all. Full of liquid courage, he’d finally blurted: “Would you like to meet up?”

Now he wondered: Had his speech slurred? Had she just been too polite to turn him down? Should he reassure her that he wasn’t an alcoholic? No, definitely not a good opener. Would she question why a witty and lively extrovert from the other night had morphed into a shy sack of nerves? Would he even recognize her when she arrived? Read the Rest of This Article »

Use Your Mind to Get You Moving: 6 Energizing Exercise Motivation Techniques

“I’ll go for a run just as soon as I finish this article. … Right, should return that call from Roger. … Well, now I’m hungry and I can’t run on an empty stomach. … Now I’m feeling too full. … Rain clouds?! Better wait and see if it clears up. … Great. It’s getting dark now. … What a shame; I really was going to have that run. There’s always tomorrow!”

We lie! To ourselves and anyone who’ll listen. You see, part of me knew I had no intention of going for that run. Actually, I honestly love to exercise. And not just because it helps me sleep deeply and increases my energy.

I know that exercise motivation doesn’t come naturally to most people. It didn’t for me. I had to work at getting and keeping myself motivated to run, do yoga, and weight-lift.

The following tips work for me (and for many of my clients who need to exercise). I know they’ll help your exercise motivation, too. Read the Rest of This Article »